All original characters, dialog and situations used from Star vs The Forces of Evil are © 2015-2019 The Walt Disney Company.
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All original characters, dialog and situations used from the fanfics are © 2015-present by their respective authors.
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This is a work of fiction portraying alternate universes; all similarities to beings living, dead, or undead are entirely convergent.
IV
The peace and quiet of an idyllic field of daisies was broken by the opening of a dimensional portal. Star stepped out, followed by Marco. Both were wearing their hiking togs, complete with backpacks and walking staffs.
It was the first Friendship Thursday Star and Marco were observing since Star's return, and though they talked about doing something special, it turned out both just wanted a quiet break. They'd had enough AU adventures, and royal and political intrigue, over the prior week to suit them; not to mention eighteen months of wartime. They decided they just wanted to take an uneventful walk alone with each other. They thought, perhaps, they could recapture some of the innocent bliss that ended their last hike, nearly two years past.
Star had chosen the Hiking Dimension, so named, strangely enough, for its excellent hiking. It had pleasant woods, pleasant streams, pleasant weather, and mountains pleasant to climb. As they looked around, they concluded that the hike they had chosen, a walk through woods next to a stream, with a light rock climb to a peak with a spectacular view, was likely to be very pleasant.
The two teens joined hands and entered the woods. They walked at an easy pace, reveling in the sights, sounds, and smells. After a while, as the incline of the hike increased, they dropped each other's hands to better work the trail and the occasional obstacle. They talked about Love Sentence, episodes of favorite TV shows, friends, and told stories, enjoying even ones they'd heard many times before. There were no explosions, magical hijinks, or anything other than a couple in love, best friends, enjoying each other's company.
When they reached the point where they would have to scale a rock face to reach the summit of the small mountain they had hiked up, they stowed their walking staffs and began climbing. They each climbed helping the other, pointing out hand- and foot-holds, giving encouragement, and making sure to grab and steady the other on the several instances when one of them slipped.
After several hours of hiking and climbing, they finally sat on the summit, conveniently worn flat by hundreds of years of hikers, providing a perfect platform to sit upon. They sat together, Marco's arm around Star's waist as she leaned against him, gazing into the distance at the other mountains, the forest, the streams and waterfalls, and the lightly clouded, green-tinged, blue sky.
Marco was enjoying just sitting and holding Star so much that he was reluctant to broach an uncomfortable subject, but he knew it had to happen eventually and didn't think it was a good idea to wait any longer.
"Star," Marco broached, "if you don't want to that's okay, just say so, but can we talk about what Janna said before the ... incident with the MHC?"
Star took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "Shoot," she said.
"What do you remember about what happened? I mean, when I got zapped by Meteora."
"You have to understand, I didn't so much think as act. I remember feeling the need to protect you so portaled into the trees behind Meteora. It let me be close if you needed protecting, or remain hidden if you didn't. When she hit you, her body blocked my view. I thought I ... felt, I guess ... the use of magic, but I didn't see it, so didn't really pay it any attention."
"Drat. So, what do you think? Could my change have been because of the monster arm?"
"Maybe ... but I don't think so. That was a transformation; it's like me and the rest of the Mewmins being monsters, not Monsters. Does that make sense?"
"Bizarrely, yes, guess I'm used to the weirdness of Mewni. So, what does it mean?"
Star simply shrugged. They sat for a few more minutes, contemplating the possibilities.
"I don't get it," Marco finally said. "Meteora's magic didn't transform me like a Mewmin, and it didn't suck the life out of me like a non-Mewmin. During the year or so Meteora was attacking, I saw nothing else like it. Even you transformed into a monster, even if it was different from all the rest."
Star remained silent; she could think of nothing more to add.
"Star, you remember what DNA is, right?"
"No, can't say I've ever heard of it. What is it? I'm sure your big brain ..."
"Really?" Marco interrupted, an edge to his voice. "I mean, really? You're going to do that now?"
Star looked innocently at Marco. "I have no idea what ..."
"Star, you've just added one more thing to the big pile of things we need to talk about ... but later. Please answer the question truthfully."
Star scowled for a moment, then relented. "I vaguely remember it talked about in biology class, and I've heard it mentioned a lot on TV, but I don't think I ever picked up on what it actually is. It has something to do with identifying people ... and ... making dinosaurs?"
"It can be used for that, yes. Well, for identifying people, not for making dinosaurs ... although Janna says dinosaur DNA is how the government made the Reptilian 'aliens' to distract us from chemtrails. Anyhoo, do you remember what a cell is?"
"That I do remember."
"Each human cell contains what is basically a blueprint for a human. Deoxyreeb ... doxyrub ... daronefcylar ... DNA is that blueprint. It's made up of four components connected to each other, and the pattern of the connections tells our cells how to make a human. It's like how a construction blueprint tells a builder how to connect basic building materials to make a house or boat or whatever."
"Okay, following so far."
"All life on Earth has DNA. We've sequenced ... discovered the pattern of, I guess ... the DNA of a lot of life on Earth. We can tell by its DNA whether something is a plant or a dog or a human, and we even know what patterns control, say, eye color or height."
Star nodded.
"What's more, DNA is inherited. You get some of your DNA from your mother and some from your father, but certain parts are inherited exclusively from one parent."
"I think I understand. So ... I got my height from mom, rather than dad."
"Yes, that could be. But it could also be you get your height from your dad; your Johansen aunts, uncles and cousins aren't as short as your dad, and I seem to recall some of them being your mother's height or taller. River could have a type of dwarfism or injured a ... gland or something ... when he was young, or he could just be some sort of weird forest troll that the Johansens adopted."
"Marco..."
"So, you still might have received normal Johansen height genes from him. Anyway, that's the summary. I'm sure I got some things wrong, but it's close enough."
"Sooooo ... you want your DNA tested to see what you are? Go for it!"
"It's not that simple. Let's say I'm not human. Without DNA to compare it to, the scientists won't be able to tell what I really am."
"So, what do we do?"
Marco smiled at Star's use of "we." "Mom mentioned a geneticist from UCLA is a visiting professor at her community college. I'll start there. They might be interested in looking at alien DNA ... if Mewmins and Monsters have DNA ... so would probably do a lot more research into it than a commercial firm, and for free."
"Sounds like a plan. What can I do?"
"On Earth, taking samples to test without consent is considered an intrusion, so we need permission. You take your mom, dad, Buff Frog and ... um ... Tom. Maybe a couple three of your aunts and uncles and cousins, too. Explain exactly what we're doing and why, and that we'll need a cheek swab or hair or something. The collection part will be TBD, but it won't hurt or anything. I think. I'll take Eclipsa, and get her permission to collect a sample of Meteora's cells, if we can find any ... I think the MHC still has her car. I'll hit up Janna, and mom and dad, plus get their permission to include Mariposa."
Marco thought for a few moments. "We'll also get a sample from you, if that's okay. I think that'll do it, we can add others later if we, or the scientists, think we need more."
Together, the two said, "Let's do it!" "We got a plan!"
The plan agreed upon, the teens went back to gazing at nature and enjoying each other's touch. After what seemed like nowhere near long enough, Star said, "Okay, this is a great view, but the rock's making my butt fall asleep." She tried to move ... and couldn't. "Um, I'm really stiff. How about you?"
Marco very slowly lifted a knee, groaning. "We've been active for two years straight, how can a simple hike knock us for such a loop?"
Star shrugged. "Probably the rock climbing, entirely different set of muscles, I guess."
Marco nodded, and groaned ... even his neck was stiff. "As fun as the climb up was, I'm not looking forward to the climb down."
"Any objections to doing it the easy way?"
Quickly discerning what Star meant, Marco answered, "None at all."
"Summoning Cloudy Ch..."
"Stop! No! We're too stiff and tired to deal with a cloud with an attitude. I thought you meant use a portal straight to home."
"Oh, yeah. 'Bout time we remembered that up front."
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After a dip in the royal recovery room's magical hot tub, showers, and a stack of Emilio's Pizzas shared with Janna, Tom, Moon and River, Star and Marco retired to Star's room to spend the rest of the day getting caught up on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Wearing their jammies, the two leaned up against one another, happily watching the episodes, even as emotional as they were. When reaching the end of The Real Deal, Star wept openly at the wedding of FitzSimmons, and even Marco shed a tear. When a genetic profile showed Deke Shaw was linked to FitzSimmons, most likely their grandson, Star squealed so loud Marco thought his hearing might be damaged.
After the end of the following episode, the two teens stood, stretching and walking around the room to get a little circulation back and keep their muscles from stiffening up again.
"Marco," Star began, shyly, "do you regret it?"
"Regret what, Stardust?"
"Waiting for me."
"Yes, absolutely, without quest...OOF!"
Star had softly punched Marco in the stomach. She smiled at him, but he could see the azure fire in her eyes that showed she was angry.
Marco sighed. "No. Maybe if it had been thirty years and you never came back, sure. But a year and a half? You're worth it."
Star nodded, then kissed Marco on the cheek. They snuggled up on the couch under their friendship blanket, starting the next episode. Marco paid enough attention to be able to discuss the episode with Star later; he knew she would be miffed if he couldn't remember her favorite scenes. But most of his attention was focused entirely on Star.
Since returning, Star's personality was all over the place. She had always been action-oriented, even violent, but what happened with the MHC was over the top and her ability to keep herself in check seemed tenuous at best. Then, every now and again, that same bold, warrior, princess, would suddenly become shy, quiet, and sometimes even timid. Marco worried, so held Star just a little tighter.
Several hours later, Marco awoke with a start. For a few seconds he was confused as to where he was, expecting the interior of his bedroom in Butterfly Castle. Slowly, he realized he was in Star's darkened bedroom, sitting on the sofa in front of the big screen TV, now off. He was not alone, snuggled under a blanket with Star on Friendship Thursday.
Marco's brain screamed, Snuggled under a blanket with Star on Friendship Thursday? What?
Marco calmed as his brain screamed back at itself, She's our girlfriend now, dumbass!
Marco looked lovingly at his girlfriend, her ear against his chest, sleeping peacefully to the rhythm of his heart, lightly snoring. Her face was scrunched up, her hair a rat's nest, and her limbs, except for the arm around his waist, all akimbo. He thought it was the epitome of beauty.
Marco yawned mightily, deciding, even though the clock said it was only 11pm, that as much as he enjoyed snuggling with Star, he needed to head off to bed to attempt some proper rest. He carefully extricated himself from Star's embrace, then carried her to bed, tucking her in. He kissed her on the forehead, then tiptoed away. As he left, he took one more look, seeing her give a slight kick and hearing a soft whine.
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Several more hours later, Marco sat up in bed with a despairing grunt, a single tear escaping one eye. He rubbed his chest, which actually hurt, and could feel a slight burning in his Magic-Pips, thanks to the nightmare he'd just woken from.
Marco lay back down, reluctant to return to sleep, when he heard a shout from across the hall. He swung out of bed, put on his robe and slippers, then tiptoed out of his room and across the hall. Carefully opening Star's door, Marco entered, grabbing Star's desk chair on the way to her bed. Despite the shout, Star was still asleep, talking unintelligibly, a note of sadness and desperation in her tone. Marco sat, then took her hand. Star immediately quieted, a small smile appearing on her lips and a slight glow appearing in her Magic-Pips.
It was an unfortunately frequent ritual. It seemed the only thing that reduced their night-terrors was being physically together, and it was common to find one sleeping in a chair in the other's room, their fingers tightly entwined. Given what their worst nightmares were about, neither was surprised by that at all.
Marco brushed back Star's bluish-silver bangs so he could gaze lovingly at her sleeping, and now snoring, face.
It had taken only a handful of nights after Star's return to confirm what eased their nighttime pain, and at that point Star had insisted Marco join her in bed from then on. One of their rare fights had erupted when Marco flat out refused. It had been a bad fight, too, sending the castle staff scurrying in fright from the royal dining room, where the pair had been talking over lunch. The disagreement was as intense, and as destructive, as it was surprising, given what prompted it.
Why not? Star had demanded to know. We've slept together many times. Why the corn is it a problem now?
Because now we're a couple.
It took Star a few moments to realize what he meant. So what if people think that? Hell, everyone has always seen us as a couple anyway, so they probably already think that.
Doesn't matter, Marco had replied. What matters is how we behave knowing what we know, and them thinking what they think, based on what they think they know. Marco shook his head at the tortured sentence. You know what I mean. I won't knowingly do something that will make beings think any less of you; I want everybody to see you as I do.
I'm a horrible screw-up and a peasant nobody, it isn't possible for anybody to think any less of me.
Marco had begun to protest, but Star curtly interrupted. Forget it. It doesn't matter anyway, I don't care about that, Marco, and here on Mewni it's not that big of a deal anyway. It's not much bigger of a deal on Earth, either.
I do care! Marco had yelled. And I won't discuss this any further! At that point he had stalked out of the destroyed dining room, wrecked by the magic that had been erupting from the teens in their anger. He then promptly fell down a flight of stairs having forgotten their presence, so distracted was he by his anger and the niggling little fear that he was being ridiculous.
Marco briefly thought there might be a compromise in recreating his room directly connected to Star's. He decided, though, that was little different from being directly across the hall, and clearly that wasn't enough for either of them.
Compromise ... Marco rolled the word around in his head. It really wasn't right for him to impose on Star conditions she didn't want, for reasons she didn't care about. But neither was it right for Star to dismiss Marco's feelings and concerns. It was equally wrong, he thought, for both of them to continue to ignore that being a couple, a team, meant, on occasion, protecting each other from themselves, and both unbending a little bit to do so.
As Marco drifted off to sleep, he thought of a compromise position that, while it wouldn't help, much, with Star's reputation, it would still allow Marco to ease his conscience while helping them both with their nightmares.
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Bob sat in a rickety chair, watching King Brudo play with a Rubric's Cube from the most backward of all alternate universes. Bob was doing her best not to gag; the stench of the room was overwhelming due to its time under the control of the Pigeons. Monsters, despite their oft-superior olfactory gifts, didn't seem to mind. The Monsters themselves could reek, but not that much worse than Mewmins.
To Bob, all beings on Mewni stank, metaphorically. She couldn't believe she was once friendly with Monsters, before they, too, proved to be worthless creatures deserving death, same as the rest. It was only because they were a useful means to an end that they often survived the destruction Bob wrought.
King Brudo Avarius was a particularly odious creature. Stupid, lazy, apparently a domestic and child abuser and, the most serious flaw in Bob's estimation, weak. Although she hated Brudo's son, too, Bob would have much preferred dealing with Ludo.
During the war, Ludo and his brothers and sisters had been surveying the remains of Castle Avarius, thinking they might rebuild it as the capitol of the new Monster Kingdom once the war was over. While there, a pack of Mewmonsters overran it, and in a strange act of selflessness, Ludo had died defending his family. The loss made Bob angry; the Mewmonsters wouldn't have attempted to harm the Avarius siblings had they simply let the Mewmonsters be.
Fortunately, there were other forces in the new Monster Kingdom for Bob to collaborate with. One other being joined the meeting, Rasticore Chaosus Disastervaine. He was known to most simply as Rasticore the Bounty Hunter, but was becoming known, thanks to expanding his business during the late unpleasantness, as Rasticore the Merc.
As a mercenary he was all about himself, but if the pay was right, his fleeting regard for his Septarian brothers and sisters could be exploited and so, these days, he often spoke on their behalf. Bob had no doubt that if the treasure ran out Rasticore would be gone, but the Septarians were not yet an organized force to be reckoned with. Bob needed them to be, so, despite Septarians being among the beings she despised the most, she was helping them gain strength and political power. Bob went so far as to anonymously help set up New Septarsis, a semi-independent state within the Monster Kingdom.
Rasticore was the first to lose patience and speak. "So, what do we do about him?"
Without looking up from the cube, Brudo asked, "Who him?"
With his bionic hand, Rasticore pinched his muzzle between the eyes. "The Monster we've been talking about for the last two hours: Buff Frog."
"Who?"
"The general of the Butterflys' Monster Corps."
"I thought his name was Chad."
Bob decided to step in before Rasticore lost the already weak grip he had on his temper. "No, it's Buff Frog. Or perhaps he should be called Lap Dog, because that's certainly what he is to the Butterflys."
King Brudo waved a dismissive hand. "Never heard of him."
"Regardless, he has quite a strong following among your Monsters. Making your kingdom independent, as it should be, will be difficult, if not impossible, as long as he wields such influence. Certainly, Monsters will never rule Mewni."
Rasticore spoke up, asking Bob, "Why do you care? You appear to be Mewmin, why would you even want that?"
"I respect power ... and the money's better."
Rasticore could not think of any argument to rebut that statement.
Brudo looked up from the cube. To Rasticore, he said, "So kill him, and be done with."
Rasticore sighed. "First of all, nobody has paid me to kill him. Secondly, politically, any death of Buff Frog that isn't above suspicion will bring the Butterflys down on us. The Princess isn't stupid, but just oblivious enough we might get away with it, if it was only her we had to deal with. But when she works with her other boyfriend ... the general, not that idiot Lucitor ... together they'll quite easily figure it out."
Bob didn't agree, but nonetheless wasn't going to contradict Rasticore. There was always the chance the worldly teens could accidently discover the plot, and it was too soon to risk it.
"Then kill them all," Brudo responded, returning to his cube.
"It's too soon; the cost still outweighs the benefit," Rasticore responded.
Leave it to Rasticore to put an economic spin on it, Bob thought. Out loud, she said, "Your highness, with your permission, perhaps Rasticore and I could come up with a way to deal with Buff Frog?"
Brudo simply gave a wave of his hand. Bob and Rasticore turned to each other, plotting.
King Brudo eventually fell asleep, and after about an hour, Bob and Rasticore left him to his nap. After they left the room, a figure in a dark gray cloak stepped out of the shadows. He had been terrified at first that Rasticore and the mystery being would quickly and easily discover him, but he had been attentive to Buff Frog's teachings so successfully stayed hidden.
The figure was thin and tall, the same height as Brudo. He pulled back his hood, revealing a toothed beak in a grimace and the unmistakable features of an Avarius. To say he didn't like what he'd heard, toward the Butterflys and especially toward his mentor and friend, was putting it mildly.
I wish I'd learned who the cloaked being is, the Kappa Monster thought, but I have to get the information I do have to Buff Frog. Buff Frog is probably being watched so it won't be easy, but I'll do it, or my name isn't Dennis Avarius.
As always, stay amazing!
