A/N: Hello again dear readers, I have managed to return again with the next installment. It's been a difficult run so far, but I am managing to at least keep this fic alive. :D However, due to my current medical issues and now with all the procedures I have to do this month, updates may or may not be slow. I am pushing for two more chapter releases this month, but uncertain if that may happen or not. But fear not! One way or the other, I will keep the updates coming. That much is a given. 3
I had a lot of fun, but also difficulty with this chapter. Hopefully you guys enjoy it. :D
Also to date, now this chapter is the longest one for RoF. God help me. D:
Summery: Chrollo looks back on his past. Realizing their object, Kurapika and Chrollo plot and execute their objective to retrieve the Scarlet Eyes from Sorbia's temple. Kurapika once again struggles with his own inner demons from the pain of his own past, but comes to a very stunning conclusion.
Not once had Chrollo ever thought he'd find himself looking back upon his past for enlightenment, or that he would be questioning anything he had previously done. For much of his life, Chrollo had just been used to doing things his way and living how he saw fit by doing whatever it took in order to survive. It made getting through each day tolerable, and every time he had been successful, the outcome seemed so much more rewarding.
Of course, it wasn't a grandiose or lavish way of existing; far from it. But for the man who had spent nearly every waking moment labeled as a nobody from a city where people had no name, he had been pretty satisfied with how things had turned out.
It was all Chrollo had ever known and emotional luxuries were not something that he readily indulged in or relatively cared about. Things of that context were considered a setback, a weakness, something that only made people lose focus or forget who they were. The idealism of it only caused him to harbor a stronger adversity to it and thus, Chrollo became more and more emotionally detached.
Which was equally the same when it came down to practically anything, including murder.
Chrollo had never found himself harboring regrets. Even when he stood over those he targeted, watching as their existence faded and the light slowly dimmed from their eyes while they would wither and die, he felt neither sorrow or remorse. It was his way of handling the mental and physical suffering he faced during his childhood years and for how easily society willfully cast away those who were seen as nothing more than rejects.
For him, this was his way of responding to that type of hellish mentality - of how humanity as a whole did not care, nor was compassion something comparatively shared or given.
So he, just like his Spiders only plundered and marauded, took what they wanted without thought or care, lavishing in their spoils and of the anguish and misfortune they caused. Never once stopping or desiring to show any inkling of compunction for any of the acts or crimes they committed. The same could be said when Chrollo and his infamous group had participated in one of the biggest mass slaughters of all time.
He remembered it almost like it was yesterday. The smell of burning wood. Of blood and death. Fires blazing almost majestically around him as he oversaw the process. Chrollo watched as each one fell, how their eyes seemed to flare with hatred, shock or hopelessness. The passion so great, the desperation so high that behind the emotions it only seemed to fuel their brightest shade. Each set of eyes glowed eerily in the dark. Of a grand scarlet that only made them so much more magnificent and just how spectacular they were, like a most beautiful and rare gem. Just like the color of rubies.
Back then, it elated him. Made him feel almost like God. And yet, he indulged in just how powerful and superior it made him and his Spiders feel. How they became feared, revered, and even praised.
But now, looking back on it, on everything he had done, especially the extinction of the Kurta Clan, Chrollo couldn't help but feel… Different. Something inside of him stirred. Even awoken and the more his mentality began to alter towards Kurapika, the more his mindset continued to change. Seeing the younger man who was so tenacious, so strong and determined, with a passion that smoldered so deep, so intense, it only made Chrollo wonder just how he really felt. Or, how he really should feel.
At one time, he had thought what he was doing had been the greatest and most satisfying thing. That it gave him the ultimate gratification.
Now, seeing the outcome of his own selfishness, it was then Chrollo had begun to wonder if it was all really worth it?
Spending time around the last remaining Kurta had given him so much more time to think. To reevaluate himself and look back on his life as a whole. Perhaps he didn't regret all his decisions, but how he felt about the massacre now…
If there was one thing he could change, it would have easily been that.
Maybe he didn't fully comprehend or understand the magnitude of why he was feeling the way he was, but he knew he had been slowly falling for Kurapika. At one time he wanted to kill the boy. Now, Chrollo was only wondering if he was actually falling in love with him.
Listening to how Kurapika felt as he learned of how his clan's eyes were being used - especially for rituals after they had always been labeled as demons - only made his heart swell for the younger man.
It pained Chrollo to see Kurapika this way. To see him suffer and continue to endure. To watch as he tried to carry on, despite the sorrow in those eyes. The very same ones of which Kurapika now searched for that Chrollo himself, helped harvest and unleash upon the world. Because of that, because of his decisions and of his greed, now the one person the leader of the Genei Ryodan had found himself actually caring for, only continued to be stricken while he attempted to find his own salvation.
The very same salvation he now tried to find within Kurapika.
Perhaps he was changing and experiencing a metamorphosis. Or maybe he really was only feeling remorse for Kurapika. But whatever the case may be, the desire to make things right between he and the blond was definitely strong. Chrollo wanted to erase Kurapika's pain so Goddamn bad.
This was now his drive and reasoning to do what he must in order to win the boy's heart, and at any cost.
He would see that Kurapika retrieved the eyes, and he would help regain the ones which resided in Sorbia to ease the blond's worries. For he knew that until Kurapika completed his goal, the younger man would not rest.
Chrollo watched as Kurapika continued to make the final preparations for their mission. Delicate, pale fingers worked dexterously at the straps which he used to tie the multi-hued brown cloak that he remembered the blond wearing back in the desert city of Ti'alma. Silken fabric which flowed in mass abundance nearly obscured the blond's lithe features, hiding away the body that the older man himself, enjoyed viewing. But he knew it was a necessary cover, as Kurapika had been the one to volunteer for infiltrating the inner sanctum of the temple where the eyes were held.
It would be no easy mission; dealing with a religious culture Chrollo knew would only prove to be a challenge, especially when those people were heavily relying on worship as a way of sustaining themselves
They both had remained in relative silence as Kurapika continued to finalize his own preparations. Chrollo himself had long since, readied things on his end, both of them fully aware of what their roles were to be in this mission of theirs. Of course, the changes in pressure within the air around them spoke of frustration; yet there was also an underlying vein of nervousness. It was apparent even in Kurapika´s own aura, which shimmered and flowed erratically around the younger man.
As such, it made Chrollo feel concern for Kurapika, something he had been harboring towards the Kurta when it seemed he was out of sorts. Once the blond was done affixing his cloak and turned to face Chrollo, it was then he arose from his position of where he had been sitting. "It really does suit you, Kurapika." He spoke in a soft tone, and strode over to where Kurapika had been standing before a mirror the younger man had been looking at himself in.
Blue eyes soon met grays as Kurapika turned at the sound of Chrollo´s voice, and faced the taller man. Though before he could speak, strong arms encircled his slender waist and pulled him against the other's strong chest. One of Chrollo´s hands slipped beneath his chin, lifting it so Kurapika could completely see his face.
For a moment, Kurapika just stood there, practically frozen as Chrollo held him firmly, while looking into the older man's eyes. He didn't resist, much less attempt to thwart Chrollo from doing so as the contact, like so many other times before had incited Kurapika in feeling more passive than not. His breathing slowed, almost to an even, steady pace that he soon realized, had begun to match Chrollo's own. The cadence of it alone was enough to cause Kurapika to slip into contentment.
They just stood there in silence, neither bothering to speak as Chrollo just kept Kurapika close, gazes locked upon one another as if they were trying to wordlessly convey their thoughts without physically vocalizing them.
It was pleasant to say the least and even then, Kurapika couldn't find any reason to sever the embrace Chrollo held him within. Instead, he was about to close his eyes when the feel of warm, soft lips soon meshed with his own, and it was then that the Kurta truly gave in. Each time, he became more pacified, thoroughly enjoying every session in earnest, his own hands making their way to slip up and against the older man's cheeks, cupping them gently. Chrollo didn't even have to demand or request to be allowed entrance into Kurapika's mouth; the blond did it willingly as those ample mounds parted and soon, their appendages were curled around one another avidly.
Coffee with a hint of mint suddenly flooded on his tongue, the taste unlike any other and Kurapika couldn't help but relish in the flavor, having practically memorized the makeup of Chrollo's own essence. He simply purred against the older man's lips as they worked adamantly against his own despite it seemed like Chrollo fancied kissing him slowly as he did rough and possessive.
Kurapika breathed in, nostrils flaring from the same scents which lingered around them as Chrollo tightened those arms more firmly around him, practically seizing his lithe frame against the other's more powerful one. Not that he complained. No. The blond readily accepted the touches as he leaned into them wantonly, his concerns and fears from prior were slowly ebbing away. Each stroke of Chrollo's palm up and along his spine successfully left him thoroughly reminded of exactly why he was beginning to see less and less reason to rebuke the raven-head. There was just something tempering in the aura Chrollo exuded, despite the older man still lacked access to his Nen.
It was something that still to this day Kurapika didn't quite understand, but gradually over the time he spent around Chrollo, the more convinced he was becoming that indeed, the older man was retaining his honesty and keeping to his word. Even though for the Kurta, it was still something relatively hard to believe.
Down at its core, Chrollo was still a thief who had committed heinous crimes and lead a band of criminals guilty of the same thing. But at the brunt of it all, wasn't he, like his group just merely human after all? The longer he spent around Chrollo, it became easier for Kurapika to be convinced that perhaps, the older man was really capable of compassion and empathy. But, there was still that need for clarity as Kurapika wasn't completely certain of Chrollo's true stance.
But the man's intentions seemed quite evident in just his recent actions alone. One thing Kurapika was good at was in lie detection. Several times he entertained the idea of using Dowsing Chain on the older man, but something in Chrollo's own energy spoke of no reason to do so. Whatever it was, the man Kurapika remembered from his first encounter at Yorknew to the one he knew now was vastly different in contrast. As vast as it was from night to day.
Kurapika attempted to press himself even more securely along Chrollo's body, fitting almost perfectly against his sculpted curvatures, feeling the other man's heartbeat against his chest. Its lull was almost enough to pull the younger man into a languid state, nearly forgetting the world around him.
Deeper their kiss became as Chrollo tasted with fervency for all his blond had to offer, his own mind wanting to go blank from the swell of emotions he was experiencing. The longer he remained with Kurapika like this, the more urgent and hungry he became.
Like every time before, Chrollo knew not to allow things to proceed too far, the concern for jeopardizing his rapport with the younger man was a constant reminder.
Not that he did so out of selfishness. Quite to the contrary, it was for honest concern of violating his trust with Kurapika. What Chrollo had started to realize that his feelings had began to surpass the superfluous, becoming stronger for the young Kurta each day. Which had him wondering if he was truly experiencing love for the one person who had sought nothing but a way to cease his existence.
All of that didn't matter anymore for Chrollo had seen the changes slowly developing within Kurapika. The need to remain cautious hung in the back of his mind as he still considered all possibilities. However, with Kurapika´s changing mindset, Chrollo felt less likely the younger man would continue to enact on his earlier convictions, making him harbor no fear towards the blond.
Not that he had any fear to begin with.
Drawing his hand up from its position along Kurapika´s spine, he placed it on the back of that blond head, holding the younger man in place as he allowed the kiss to briefly grow more demanding, more voracious. The onset invoked a squeak of shock to exit from Kurapika's throat, but was soon replaced by a submissive moan. Chrollo couldn't help but smile at the response.
Still, he felt that Kurapika wasn't ready yet to bridge the gap into the territory Chrollo wanted to explore oh so bad with the boy. So, he settled on giving those now rosy and kiss bruised lips a prominent lick before pulling away to let his attention fall upon the young man in his arms.
Of course, that questioning look Chrollo knew all too well adorned Kurapika´s features, but he placed a finger before him in attempt to sate his concerns.
"Try not to worry. I believe you will do just fine. I have plenty of faith in your abilities."
A frown crossed over Kurapika´s lips. Not only was he disappointed in Chrollo´s abrupt cessation of their torrid kiss - which much to his surprise, had inadvertently calmed him at the time - but now his nervousness had resurfaced regarding his job with their current mission.
It wasn't that he had lack in his confidence, but rather faith in his ability from becoming too enraged. The notion of a cult using his brethren's eyes in such a mannerism only unsettled him even more. His clan had suffered so much to be defiled as they had.
"It's not that," Kurapika began, his hands now finding placement along Chrollo´s chest as he idly traced patterns along its clothed surface, "but the simple fact that I am not certain if I can trust in myself to not get personal if I see the eyes being used in such a disgraceful way. My clan has already endured so much…"
The words suddenly died in the back of his throat, and Chrollo lifted his chin again to meet at eye level, "You have every right to feel the way you do, Kurapika. But, don't let it hinder you or stifle your thinking. If you allow yourself to become too focused on your disdain, then you may lose sight and possibly jeopardize the mission."
One thing that concerned Chrollo was the simple fact that he knew of Kurapika's temper and that the younger man could very well forget what was most important. It could ultimately cause everything they had so meticulously planned to come crashing down around them. There were many variables which precipitated Chrollo into retaining a contingency plan should something like that, arise.
However, in the back of his mind, Chrollo understood the reasoning for Kurapika's contempt. It was something he had always been privy of, but until he became so closely involved with the young Kurta, it had not affected his perspective or how it made him feel. That is, until now.
Something in Kurapika's demeanor, or maybe it was the words he spoke that caused Chrollo to feel taken aback. Not once had he ever remembered or regarded himself as a person who held concern or benevolence for most of his life, Chrollo had simply learned the world was cruel and unforgiving.
To survive was to steal, often taking from whoever had something to offer or profit from. People were nothing but sources for retaining substance, and Chrollo had never seen reason to feel regret towards his callous or apathetic outlook. He had been dealt an inequitable hand, and for that, the world had become indentured to him.
For so long, this was how he lived and never once did he ever think that would change. Now, something deep within had began to stir and he felt a pang of guilt towards everything he had forced Kurapika to endure. Just seeing the blond so distressed, especially over the prospect of his clan's eyes being used in heinous ways was enough to make the older man begin to wonder if he had done things differently, if he had not committed to taking away everything Kurapika had loved, would the boy have been better of then he was now?
"But, then would we have ever met?"
Chrollo was torn, ripped asunder by his own emotions. He hated seeing Kurapika suffer, and the welling need to show remorse was something that had begun to manifest within him. Even the anguish that seemed to burn in the back of Kurapika's eyes was enough to make Chrollo start to question his own integrity.
It was his fault for everything that happened to Kurapika. All he had was himself to blame.
"What do you know?" The sudden question had snapped Chrollo from his contemplation, only to face Kurapika once more, vehemence evident in his eyes. "It's not as if you completely understand what it's like to lose someone or have someone taken from you." For so long, all Kurapika had ever known was his own misery and despair, everything he had gone through had only twisted his sense of perception regarding people and the world around him.
Slowly, Kurapika had become bitter and indifferent, easily losing his faith and morality in the process. It was just so simple to believe that he was the only one who experienced the pain of loss, and that everyone else was oblivious to how he felt or that no one understood his grief. He had convinced himself of this, and became isolated from human companionship, finding that remaining in solitude was better than risking the chance of hurting someone and dragging them down into his own weak stability and mental faultiness.
Such possibilities always weighed heavily in the back of his mind, leaving him questioning his own acuity and if he was able to entrust that he wouldn't just run headlong into situations without becoming reckless or hasty. These were attributes that became symptomatic with his own shortcomings, leaving Kurapika less willing to open up to those who showed him genuine concern or friendship.
Everything to him was always a setback and for Kurapika, his goals were all that mattered.
But now, his current mindset really had started to change. Though it did make the blond wonder if the way he once perceived things had really been what was ultimately affecting him in the negative way it had.
There was only going forward, no going back.
If he was to surpass his own limits, and finally get to the point of actually being liberated, then one thing Kurapika knew must be done was he had let go of his hate and prejudice completely. There was no peace to be found if he continued on as he had, despite reaching such an objective would prove to be difficult. Kurapika struggled with acceptance, as learning to forgive was definitely not a quality he found as a strong suit or that he was willing to just concede to.
But something about Chrollo's more recent behaviors and just how closely connected he was becoming with the older man had him now questioning his own resistance in actually trying to understand Chrollo more than he really did.
It was just so hard to think about completely losing his adversity to the one person who in the end, was responsible for all his suffering. But the more he remained around Chrollo, the less he was able to hold onto those feelings.
He was afraid of getting too close, but now that same closeness was something he wanted more of. He needed Chrollo and couldn't understand why. All he knew was that every touch, every word, just being around the older man somehow made him feel calm, and strangely, content.
"I know more then I let on. Trust me you are not the only one to experience loss." Chrollo spoke softly, and placed a gentle, reassuring kiss to the top of Kurapika´s head. "I too, have lost people and know what it feels like to suffer such an outcome. We are both guilty of doing things out of apathy and callousness. But," slowly, the older man stroked his hands up along Kurapika´s back again, the silken feeling of his cloak smooth beneath his palms. "I really want to make it up to you."
He could sense the blond's heightened and growing upset, causing him to slightly grimace. In reality, Chrollo hated seeing Kurapika this way. "However I have to."
Love. It was the only real explanation for why he was behaving the way he was. Chrollo was certain he was falling for Kurapika, and he had no desire to stop his descent.
Kurapika raised an eyebrow at the sudden, but rather bizarre statement to exit the older man's lips. As vague as the remark was, he couldn't understand exactly what Chrollo meant. "Make it up to me? Aside helping me recover what you originally caused to become lost in the first place," the younger man's focus became intent, gaze heated and Kurapika sounded way more embittered then he intended, "what else could you possibly offer me?"
Why was he so cold? Was he really that unable of learning to accept or being able to understand?
But Chrollo knew that Kurapika was only behaving out of instinct and because of a natural reaction that was caused by his own caustic nature.
Seeing the blond as skeptical as he was only incited Chrollo to be more determined in proving to Kurapika that even if he wasn't fully redeemable, at least he was salvageable.
"Just trust me. I will prove it to you as I've said. You have my word."
Once again, Kurapika struggled with trying to find the gumption to believe Chrollo regardless of what he said. But so far, the older man had been loyal to every oath made to him, so Kurapika took Chrollo´s word for it.
It didn't completely abate the nervousness that Kurapika felt overall, but he would wait to pass full judgement once he found out for sure exactly what Chrollo had planned. Even if up to this point, the older man had yet to do anything that made the Kurta feel suspicious of. He still wanted to be sure his companion continued to remain truthful to everything he has professed to thus far.
Kurapika let his arms rest against the older man's chest, "Alright. I will refrain from further comment then and let this play out." Still, his skepticism didn't stop him from finding momentary enjoyment in the times they shared. Just like now where he lavished from being in the sanctity of Chrollo's powerful arms.
The warmth was inviting and the way the older man held him was tender and affectionate, almost as if Kurapika himself was delicate and fragile. The idea slightly perturbed him as he was anything but, it didn't quell the fact that he wasn't ready to sever contact anytime soon. Nevertheless, they still had their mission to complete and as such, this moment would unfortunately have to come to an end. Regardless, Kurapika savored every last minute until such came to pass.
Chrollo simply tilted his head and smiled, letting his eyes rove over as much of the blond's frame as he could, taking in the magnificent sight before reluctantly, unfurling Kurapika from his protective embrace and taking a step back from the younger man. "Thank you. I swear I will show you that you can always trust me. It may not seem like much now, all considering. But I want to change that."
He could only remain hopeful that Kurapika would eventually be able to fully understand the magnitude of the feelings he was now experiencing. Back when they first began this little journey of theirs, Chrollo had not once dreamed of ever finding himself desiring Kurapika the way he did now. It still astonished him. But he couldn't help the way the beautiful young Kurta actually made him feel.
Noting how late it was, Chrollo realized that they had extinguished more time than necessary. Backing away completely and leaving Kurapika's warmth behind - which caused him to grunt in displeasure - his expression turned more serious, knowing that they had no more time to spare. "We really should get going. Not only have we dallied longer then we should, but we only have a small window of opportunity to complete this mission. Best not to waste that."
Kurapika nodded in response, leaving his ruminative thoughts behind as he prepared mentally for the job ahead. There definitely was much to be done. "I am ready." The sooner they completed their objective, the better.
The afternoon sun had offered what little warmth it could. Kurapika pulled the dusty brown hued fabric tightly around himself in a poor attempt to stave off the offending wind.
They had both decided on trekking to the temple on foot, opting for the least obvious method as they wanted to avoid detection or attention as much as possible.
One thing they both wanted to prevent from occurring was a repeat of what happened at Bathas. He was certain they would still need to leave the village once they acquired the eyes, but if they could do so without the possibility of becoming suspects, then they both would do whatever was necessary to ensure this.
"It's not much further." Chrollo´s voice echoed over the chilling wind, its velocity had picked up since they had exited the rustic inn. Kurapika silently prayed that their excursion to the village's temple wouldn't take much longer.
Very few people seemed to traverse the dirt paved roads considering the time of day and less paid them any mind. Even less spared them a second glance. Kurapika had kept his face obscured by the hood of his cloak while Chrollo seemed to rely on the arctic wrappings around his forehead to conceal his odd shaped purple cross tattoo. As peculiar as they were, neither appearing endemic, they were strangely lucky none of the locals gave them much thought.
When they were but a few blocks away from the temple's location, it was then Chrollo stopped. "You remember what you have to do?" He eyed the young blond critically, his gray eyes carefully observing Kurapika.
They had spent hours pouring over notes and blueprints, outlining the details of Sorbia's layout, as well as the temple's schematics. Kurapika was confident in his own skills. Even if he was still feeling uneasy.
"Of course. It's not as if we didn't go over the plan several times. I think I can handle my part."
If Chrollo wasn't entirely convinced by his statement, well, the older man didn't show it. Still, the objective was clear and there was no going back now. They had to complete their mission and retrieve the eyes.
Kurapika will not leave Sorbia without them.
"I believe you. The reputation you earned precedes yourself, Kurapika, and I have personally witnessed how resourceful you can be. I do trust in you to be able to see this through to the fullest extent." He reached forward and brushed his fingertips over the Kurta's soft cheek. "You can definitely hold your own."
Kurapika didn't know why, but Chrollo´s reassuring words - even if they were rather obvious - touched him in a way that seemed to soothe his growing worries. Silently, he leaned into the warm touch, despite that he still huffed a little. "You are always so flattering." He finally added sarcastically, though a hint of amusement laced the words.
"I know." Chrollo couldn't help but smile.
Not wishing to delay any further, he retracted his hand and returned his focus towards the now visible foliage that was becoming less and less sparse, the flora growing in density. The canopy of trees, even the shrubby was getting thicker and thicker the closer they got to the temple, which they learned had oddly enough, sat atop a rather steep hill.
The breeze whisked through the leaves, causing branches to sway as it had been coming off the sea which was not too far away, salt heavy in the air around them. It was such a distinct scent which Kurapika remembered all too well from his time in Patalor. Hell, from back to his time on ships during the Hunter Exam. There was no forgetting that smell, and yet, he enjoyed the uniqueness of it and the fact that the sea itself had its own allaying effect.
As they reached the base of a rather long, marble staircase, Kurapika gazed at it in exasperation, not thrilled in having to climb its reaches to enter the temple, itself. One thing he noticed aside the daunting staircase were the lines of arctic strips of what appeared to be thin paper hanging from ropes of different shapes and sizes. They were positioned everywhere; around the trunks of trees, from strategically erected wooden poles that were placed around the pathway in intervals, and even from the massive archway that sat at the base of the stairs. It was as awe inspiring as it was nonplussing.
"Those are called paper talismans. Or Ofuda. They are used to ward off evil spirits and misfortune." Kurapika turned to see Chrollo had come astride him, though his attention had deviated to survey the various talismans that were swaying in the breeze. "It is something customarily found at temples."
For a moment, Kurapika stood in wonderment, and not just at Chrollo's obvious insight. He knew these people to a fault were spiritual, but, down to the point that they went as far to attempt placing wards in hopes of averting evil was strangely, impeccable.
Not that it was dissuading him from proceeding with their mission. He had to retrieve the eyes no matter the cost. But to see something so elaborate constructed in a place that seemed so far from anomalistic definitely caught him unawares. "So, essentially these are used to rebuff anything of malicious intent?"
Chrollo smiled at Kurapika's rather sharp intuition, "On a fundamental level. But it's more for the intangible then the tangible. Don't worry, it won't affect us in any way. We are still going to proceed according to plan."
Kurapika was still a bit wary considering his lack of experience around such a thing - he wasn't completely oblivious - but still, seeing it up close didn't entirely ease his concerns.
He merely nodded to Chrollo's statement, affirming his ability to continue. "I understand," gaze shifted to the protracted staircase once more, and his heartbeat seemed to increase in pace. "as I am ready to enact at any time. Just tell me when."
This time, the older man's attention turned a bit more serious, his eyes looking less soft than Kurapika had remembered from before. Indeed, their undertaking wasn't going to be easy. Such was pretty much evident. However, there was no turning back.
Neither of them wanted to.
"Then we will follow the mission outlines as we have discussed. You are to proceed into the temple and engage in their daily worship by stating you are seeking a blessing from their God in hopes of receiving a good harvest. After you are able to infiltrate the main sanctum where the eyes are kept, I will then create a diversion in order to disrupt the ritual long enough to give you the time necessary so you can retrieve the eyes." Chrollo breathed, retaining a firm hold on his own composure. He knew what must be done on his part, but it was also the fact of being certain that Kurapika too, would remain on his. "Once I am confident you have cleared the temple, then we will meet at our agreed rendezvous point."
Kurapika allowed all the information to sink in once more and slowly processed it to ensure that he had every detail down accurately. The last thing he wished to do was compromise their mission.
"Duly noted. The only other question I have is, what strategy do you have in place if our mission were to fail? Do you have a contingency plan?"
The smile returned upon Chrollo's lips, and he couldn't help but allow it to broaden. It seemed that his precious blond continued to surprise him and for that, it only attracted him that much more. "As a matter of fact, I do. Either way, we will be leaving here with the eyes."
Every ounce of air exited his lungs as Kurapika sighed; whereas he may have been full of confidence regarding this entire scenario, a part of him still felt ambivalence when it came to the succession of this entire mission. Not really because of Chrollo, but because of faith in himself. Still, he couldn't allow his emotions to get the better of him. Not now.
"Alright. Then let's get this show on the road, shall we?" Kurapika was eager of course. The sooner they completed this operation, the better.
"I couldn't agree more."
With that, the Kurta took to the massive, elongated staircase, slowly beginning to traverse its marble steps as Chrollo vanished into the foliage behind him.
So many smells assaulted Kurapika's nose once he entered through the main gates of the temple. He ambled behind a brown haired male dressed in dark blue robes. The person was relatively quiet, only addressing him at first sight of his presence, and again when questioning his reasoning for visiting the temple. Which he answered without hesitation. After that, the man simply nodded and beckoned for Kurapika to follow him.
Tapestries depicting various scenes or symbols, lined the walls in intervals, though all were strangely intricate. Accompanying them were different objects from delicate, porcelain vases lined with carvings, to some looking like weapons of ancient composition. Candles sitting within sconces hung from the walls, adding to the slightly eerie, yet, unearthly scene. Further they descended toward the innermost room of the temple, the area only growing dimmer as they went.
Kurapika's hackles arose from just the need in caution as he was already overly suspicious as is. But something in the atmosphere made him feel unsettled.
From original observation, the people of Sorbia appeared average, ordinary. Nothing seemed even remotely out of place or abnormal, especially the people that roamed the streets or meandered before storefronts. Now, as he slipped deeper into a temple filled with weird, symbolic, yet suggestive objects that appeared more occultist then not, where its people dressed in concealing robes decorated with strange symbols, and an air that felt stifling, Kurapika couldn't help but sense that something seemed very wrong.
However, his breath completely hitched in his throat once they reached the inner sanctum, passing underneath a chiseled archway decorated with mysterious carvings. As he surveyed the antechamber, Kurapika finally saw the one thing he had come to Sorbia in search of.
There positioned on a tall, marble pedestal in the center sat what was the focal point of all his troubles. The Scarlet Eyes.
Fists clenched and unclenched and his breathing seemed to increase manifold. He had to resist every urge there was to simply go after the eyes and snatch them from where they stood. Yet, doing so would be brash and easily make their mission become a fool's errand, which was the last thing Kurapika knew he wanted to do.
But it was oh so hard.
"Keep focus. Stay on task. Chrollo is relying on you to keep your cool and stay with the plan."
"You have come to seek audience with our Priestess so you can pray to our sea God in hopes of being granted a blessing?" A voice called from his left and instantly Kurapika turned his head, blue eyes straining to focus amid the dim lighting of the room. A tall figure strode out of the shadows, positioning themselves before the seemingly perturbed blond, though the person's face was obscured by the hood of their dark blue robes.
A sudden sensation of apprehension washed over him and the younger man couldn't help but unconsciously take a step back from the encroaching figure. Something in their aura felt pervading, almost as if it made his innards, twist. The air grew heavy, thick, making it feel as if it was hard to breathe. And yet, Kurapika remained firmly in place, keeping hold on his composure and fortitude.
"Yes. I have come seeking a blessing in hopes of having a bountiful harvest for my crops. I am but a simple farmer looking to increase my trade." He kept his voice low, concise, pushing down the impulse to tremble, hiding the affliction he was experiencing.
The pause that ensued between them was long and perturbing, though he kept peering from beneath the rim of his hood towards where the eyes sat.
The figure remained before him, almost as if they were studying him. Weighing. Calculating. Like a predator sizing its prey. Kurapika shifted beneath their fixated stare, though he still could not see their face. But their energy spoke otherwise and it was everything Kurapika could do to not lash out. "Lower your own hood so we can see your face."
At that moment, Kurapika's heart went to beating rhythmically in his own chest, his mind now swirling with a myriad of emotions, thinking quickly on exactly how to handle such a change in his now uncertain situation. One factor he and Chrollo never took into account was the possibility of him needing to expose himself at any time and risk not being recognized as a local. Now he was being impelled to reveal his face, which only added to the blond's growing list of worries.
As he lifted his hands to curl his fingers around the hood to his cloak, a soft voice almost like melodious chimes beckoned from the stillness, bringing a halt to everyone in the room. "It appears we have a guest." Another figure emerged from the darkness, though this time, the person was slender and wiry, their robes were a mix of white and dark red hues with dark blue patterns in the form of symbols Kurapika didn't recognize along hemming and sleeves. Slowly, the hood was pushed back to reveal a young woman with long, black hair in various braids with hauntingly dark eyes.
He was instantly taken aback, body nearly frozen in place as he took a few deep breaths, putting a leash once more on his composure which threatened to ebb away. One thing he noticed was her vernal features, which made her appear childlike, though she couldn't have been much younger then he was. Her lips were a ruby red, which glinted in the darkness, appearing like two dazzling gems as she smiled.
"Let's get a better look at you." She purred, voice like silk as she approached Kurapika, eyes boring into him as if she was looking into the very reaches of his soul. He could sense her gaze over his body, regarding him in an intimate way and without warning, he felt vulnerable.
Swallowing hard, pushing down the urgency to retaliate, he grasped his hood and lowered it, allowing the woman and those around her to finally see his visage.
"You certainly are pretty," Soundlessly, she closed the gap between them, hand coming to rest against his cheek. Her skin was cool to the touch and he had to resist the instinct to flinch, "but not someone who appears suspicious or duplicitous. You may proceed forth." Retracting her fingers from his skin, she beckoned him forth, walking over to where their most divine treasure, resided. Kurapika hesitated, but only scantly, and went to stand just before the dais where the marble pedestal was.
"Since you have been accepted in joining our most sacred prayer, we ask that you kneel before thine eyes, and join us in offering thanks to our most holy one who has bestowed us with a great many blessings. Have you brought something for an offering?"
Reaching into the pouch which he had kept at his waist, fingers dug numbly into its contents searching for the object Chrollo had advised he bring, after telling him that before he would be allowed to partake in their prayer ceremony, he would need to provide an offering for their God. As he searched for the trinket of importance, he grazed over something smooth, something mitigating. For a moment, his hand lingered there as he felt its shape and texture, wanting to curl those digits around it, but reluctantly pulled away and resumed his inspection until he found the object of desire.
In the back of his mind, he settled on later retrieving the special object that was usually shaped like a heart with its delicate colors. The very same one with its mysterious origins that seemed to always relax him. But, he curled his fingers around what he had dug into his pouch for and pulled out a string of various shells, then held it out before the young Priestess.
"Ah yes, that will be sufficient." She spoke approvingly and reached out to take the proffered trinket from Kurapika´s hand, leaning over to place it at the base of the pedestal. "Now, if you will please, kneel before the dais."
The entire situation still felt wrong. Very, very wrong. But, he wasted no time and got to his knees, coming to rest on the dull looking carpeting that lined the ground beneath him. Simultaneously, everyone else in the room lowered to the ground around him, heads bowed in the process.
In a graceful, eloquent motion, the young woman slid up onto the dais and came to reside next to the carved pedestal.
She raised her arms, hands in the air with fingers splayed. "My brothers and sisters, we have gathered today to offer our prayers and to worship the God who has watched over us and protected us for generations. Today, we give that thanks through the precious treasure which our savior has graciously bestowed upon us."
Like that of a graceful swan, she turned seamlessly around, her robes flowing unhindered about her as she came to face the ornately carved pedestal, hands now just above the canister housing the eyes. Their vibrant like color appeared to glow preternaturally underneath the shade of the room.
"Eyes. Something that is said to be a gateway into the soul, but also as a gateway to see beyond the veil." Lower the woman's digits came, descending towards the top of the canister until they came into contact with it. Then, she curled them almost possessively around it. "However," she breathed, her gaze which seemed dark, maniacal, landed upon those who had remained prostrated and the look alone made Kurapika shiver, "these eyes, the very ones of a ethereal red hue are neither human or animal, but that of infernal creation." Lower the woman's hands went, now grasping the sides of the canister almost gleefully. "But our God has graciously accepted these otherworldly eyes as link for us to commune with him."
The words which the Priestess spoke didn't take long to sink in and Kurapika found himself trembling, struggling to contend with his waning temperance. He felt his own blood thrumming within his ears, each word an utterance that only evoked long, painful memories.
All the lone Kurta could think of was how his clan was persecuted for their differences. For being accursed by a simple genetic oddity that granted them the ability to change their eyes to a bright red, and how they lived forsaken because of it. Now, to hear something so ironic, so impertinent, so contemptible, it was all he could do from simply lashing out.
Unconsciously, he felt his hands curl into the moth eaten carpet beneath him as he ground his teeth, finding it nearly impossible to suppress the savage rage growing within. He wasn't sure if any of them had noticed the changes with him, but he didn't care. It was like something else was completely taking over him.
"How can you be so despicable?" When he had obtained the gall to speak, Kurapika did not know. All he could focus on was how outraged he felt. "How can you casually desecrate the dead? Then not even feel compunction for it?" As the words left past his lips, the blond rose, becoming erect and letting his vision fall upon them, his eyes now glowing scarlet and inflamed amidst the shadow. It was now he let his true nature show. "Unforgivable."
Silence deadened the flow within the room before a sudden cacophony of voices resonated in the air and soon, chaos descended around them.
Chrollo breathed in slowly; everything around him had fallen into silence and he remained stationary within one of the less traveled corridors of the temple. The penumbra grew heavy, seeming to thicken the air around him, making him proceed with caution, and keep his defenses profoundly raised. He had lost sight of Kurapika the moment he and those hooded figures had disappeared into the passageway that lead into the inner sanctum. But, he could just barely feel the boy's heightened energy despite the lack of access to his Nen through his own innate abilities. It was faint, but it was there.
Keeping to the shadows was easy, especially for someone like him. He moved soundlessly, not even an echo of his footsteps to profess his ubiety and followed in the direction Kurapika went earlier, preparing to position himself as according to plan.
Once he got close enough to sense the presence of those who resided within the chamber, Chrollo waited patiently, devising the right time to enact, and thrust everything into pandemonium.
Everything had gone pin drop quiet aside the hushed voices that arose from within the chamber before him, when the atmosphere suddenly fluctuated and the hairs on the back of his neck, arose. It didn't take long as the soft, barely audible conversation suddenly changed into a emphatic uproar and instantly drew the Spider Head's attention. Right away he suspected what had happened as the plans he concocted evaporated in a matter of minutes, realizing that now, their mission had ultimately been compromised.
Dammit Kurapika.
How did he know this was going to happen?
Closer he inched towards the barely parted doors that separated him from the chamber where the blond now was, attuning his hearing as much as possible to listen to the commotion from within.
"Unforgivable."
Kurapika. He could tell the anger in his voice was a simmering thunderstorm waiting to be unleashed. The other had lost his composure and somehow, Chrollo had nearly bet that an incident like that was going to occur even though he placed his faith in the younger man. Still, he made no motion to intervene. Not yet. Instead, he continued on listening to see how the situation played out.
A soft gasp ensued followed by the voice of a woman. Chrollo stiffened.
"You're one of them. I heard the Kurta clan was extinct. Never thought one of them still existed."
"Well, you were definitely misinformed. While my clan may be gone, I am very much alive."
"That I can very well see. But perhaps, this changes things. We may not need this after all."
A sound of shifting told Chrollo there was an altering in positions and he allowed himself to reside closer to the entrance, giving him the vantage of being able to view the inside of the chamber while remaining hidden.
He noticed Kurapika was standing, surrounded by several hooded figures, while a woman who looked young wearing white and red robes was watching the Kurta with perverse interest.
For a moment he could see the young blond tense beneath the woman's accusatory stare, though the hint of seduction wavered just beneath the surface. Though once her delicate fingers came up and cupped his cheeks, lowering her face close to his did Chrollo feel himself stiffen. The act of someone touching his precious angel did not sit well with him. At all.
Again, the raven-head made no step to cull the events from occurring, only waiting to see how far this would go before he finally had enough.
"D-Don't touch me!" Kurapika hissed, attempting to shy away from the woman's hands on him. His own hands tried to grapple at her arms and sever their contact. "Stay away!"
"You really are quite pretty. For a male anyway." Her voice became more sultry, and filled with heat. The way she moved made Chrollo twitch, but he was still interested to see how Kurapika was going to react.
Further down they traveled, index finger trailing over Kurapika´s clothes, the smile which inched over her dark painted lips spoke of hidden desire. Yet, she tilted her head, watching him thoughtfully as he seemed to be repulsed by her unwanted caress. Then, she focused back on his flaring eyes, and abruptly, she snatched his face again harshly. Closing the gap, she came within mere inches of him. "But that doesn't change a thing. You are a fine specimen. One which is alive and better than those lifeless eyes floating in that jar."
Out of nowhere, the reflection of something metallic caught his attention and it didn't take long for Kurapika to realize that the young woman had produced a long, ceremonial dagger, its tip aimed straight at his throat. Swallowing hard, he attempted to step backwards and out of her grasp, but she held to him firmly, her nails biting into his pale skin.
"What do you plan to do? Kill me and gouge out my eyes?" He spit venomously, the sarcasm to his words mocking her every advancement.
Her smile only grew more malicious, the tip of the dagger pressing roughly against his flesh. "So long as you don't give me a reason to, then you shall remain here, aiding in our cause." And without much thought, she closed the meager space between them, her lips roughly encompassing Kurapika´s as she forced him into a unwanted kiss. The blond's eyes nearly bulged out of his skull as the loud resonance of metal clinking announced the materializing of his chains. Several of them began snaking behind her in response.
This time, there was no belaying in action for the moment that wench touched her foul lips to Kurapika´s own, Chrollo felt his own disgust, swell. Granted he was a thief, but no one stole from him what he already planned to steal or had already acquired. Kurapika was his and his, alone. No one put their hands on his precious angel.
Slipping a hand beneath the sable hued coat he wore, Chrollo retrieved his Benz knife and ducked fluidly into the room without a sound. The first dropped in a crumpled heap, creating a dull thud as the figure went down. One by one, they were felled before the rest took notice of his presence, the Priestess taking on a look more of shock then surprise.
"We have an intruder in our midst." She slurred this time, her nails sinking dangerously close to piercing the flesh of Kurapika´s cheek, eyes flashing wickedly. "It seems someone has come for you, precious."
Chrollo stood erect this time as Kurapika's eyes found his own, though the younger man seemed more relieved then not. "Your assumptions are correct." Hand flexed around the hilt of the knife, realizing that the remaining hooded figures had started to surround him, forming a ring. "But I wouldn't go as far to say he belongs to you."
"Oh?" She barely registered Kurapika's chains snaking around her wrist, coiling tightly around it. "Is this pretty boy your paramour?" Little by little he made them taut, ring finger ensuring the one attached to it remained inflexible, holding his wrist in place as his gaze locked with Chrollo´s once more.
Like he understood, and just from the older man's demeanor alone, Kurapika nodded just barely, knowing what he must do. He was thoroughly prepared to fight his way out.
"Perhaps." Chrollo spoke simply and lunged forward like a viper, aiming for the nearest person to him while Kurapika simultaneously pulled his right arm back, turning in the process to jerk his chains. The momentum caused the woman to twist and falter to the ground face first, the sound of the impact echoing into the air.
Breathing heavily, he peeked over his shoulder, attention drawing from the crumpled shape of the Priestess to land on Chrollo as he was casting one of the hooded people aside, "No killing." Kurapika called over the din, and Chrollo faced him nonchalantly. "I'm almost certain that knife is poisoned."
"It is." He confirmed as he jerked his left fist this time, cold cocking the next challenger in the jaw, dropping them instantly.
"Still! Don't kill anyone! Just knock them out."
The older man raised his eyebrow at the statement, but said nothing. Rather, his focus lingered on the remaining cultists, bringing a denouement to their assault one by one.
However, the distraction caused a momentary lapse in Kurapika's judgement, not realizing that the Priestess had regained her kinesthesia once more, and returned to her feet. He only had moments to spare in dodging the cold steel that came readily at his face again, this time with more precision, the tip scraping over the surface of pale skin, leaving a superficial wound on his cheek.
Once realization of his position finally hit, Kurapika rounded on the woman, lashing out once again with his chains, though either by sheer luck or will, the young woman dodged easily, this time, hurling forward, the dagger aimed at puncturing his shoulder. How she was able to maneuver so easily, only frustrated Kurapika. She was quick, nimble, and gliding effortlessly around him.
Taking a few steps back, the Kurta hissed, raising up his arm as one of his chains came to ward off another attack by the woman's dagger. The delirious look in her eyes spoke of true mania and Kurapika knew this woman was definitely not someone to trifle with. "You aren't going to win this one, precious. Give it up."
As the words left the Priestess's dark lips, Kurapika barely had time to react for the woman lashed with deadly accuracy, springing behind him despite her thick robes and quickly placed the dagger's blade against his throat again. Damnit, how did she do that? He could practically feel the satisfaction emanating off the woman as she smiled against his ear. "Now don't move, precious. You wouldn't want anything to happen now, would you?"
Kurapika hissed, but did not move, knowing that one slip would cause the blade against his skin to easily sink in. Slowly, he lowered his chains, the woman watching him closely, ready for any signs of retaliation. At that point, it seemed relatively futile, his situation only growing worse when he felt the woman's hold on him abruptly loosen and fall away as she collapsed to the ground once more.
"I would have to say that was a pretty close call." Kurapika turned to see Chrollo standing there, flexing his hand before leaving his side to dispatch the remaining cultists.
When the last of the sect was brought to their knees with the sounds of heavy grunting and moaning filling the air did the odd pair stop to survey the final effect the onslaught had invoked. Kurapika took a step back, catching his breath and prepared to collect the eyes, their radiance still gleaming within the haze that now drifted in the air.
It felt like so long and with quivering fingers, the Kurta took a shaky step towards the dais, arms outstretched when something halted his movement. Looking down, he noticed a hand clutched to the hem of his cloak. Kurapika frowned discontentedly.
"You're a demon. There is no possibility you're human." Her voice rang out through the stillness of the room, eyes flickering with hatred. "But your eyes, we need them! There is no way I will let you abandon us now!"
The woman's confession and severity of her words was enough to cause anger to swell within Kurapika, his lips contorting in disgust. "You are the one who should not be talking. If you think I will subject myself to your morbid ideals, then you are deluding yourself." Jerking his leg forward, he attempted to dislodge her grip from his clothing, ready to just collect the eyes and be gone from the damn accursed temple.
But she did not retract nor let go, fingers only coiling tighter, "Such insolence! You will rue! Death follows you! A scourge of the Earth and will wrought nothing but destruction!"
Every ounce of incrimination in her voice was enough to beget Kurapika's own abhorrence, and it took every ounce of his own resistance to keep from unleashing his own savage anger upon the woman. Brighter his eyes flashed in their scarlet hue; deadly, threatening.
"The only one here who is a demon is you who cruelly defiles the bodies of the dead for their own sick, and twisted benefit." Again he attempted to shake the her off of him, this time more riotously then before. "Now, let go of me!" He growled, completely pulling from her hold and ascended the steps to the dais, coming to stand just before the pedestal. Eagerly, he plucked the canister from its surface and sighed, then turned his attention to Chrollo who watched him, still partially obscured by the darkness.
He could see the pain that still wavered beneath the younger man's eyes. The burdens of his past were as present as ever.
It was then Chrollo truly felt regret. He despised what he had done to Kurapika.
"Can we get the hell out of here? This place is just giving me the creeps."
Coming closer to Kurapika, he placed a hand on the younger man's shoulder, eyes flickering with concern. "I have mapped out all exits from within the temple. The closest one to this room will bring us to the forest surrounding this place."
Kurapika nodded, "Then lets go. I don't want to be here any longer than necessary."
Leading them from the room, Chrollo beckoned for his companion to follow, ignoring the unconscious or dead bodies that littered the room. As they passed beneath the archway that lead out of the massive chamber, a voice bellowed out, "You will pay for this! Mark my words! Sorrow is all you will find!" Kurapika blotted the woman from her mind, not wanting her to afflict him anymore then she had and continued walking, staying behind the older man. "Come back damn you! Come back!" Her voice trailing behind them as they tracked back through the corridors, leaving her behind.
Finally the darkness bid to light as they came towards the back of the temple and Kurapika had to shield his eyes, arm clutching tighter to the canister that he held protectively underneath it. Chrollo came up beside him. "Not quite as I had planned, but at least we did recover the eyes, nonetheless."
"Yes." He kept his attention forward, not looking at the man beside him. The sky had turned an ashen grey, obscuring the sun that was now sitting low on the horizon. Everything he had endured remained fresh in his mind, making it so difficult to forget. Never had he thought his past would continue to haunt him, but his ghosts were still there. Always there. Even if his clan had long since moved on.
"We should probably get going. Best not to linger. Like last time, we will need to leave Sorbia as soon as we are able." Looking down, Chrollo briefly tightened his grip on the blond's shoulder.
"Agreed." Came the quiet response, wrapping the cloak more around his lithe frame, hiding the eyes from view. "I just want to be far away from here."
Kurapika sat on the side of the bed, slender fingers gripping onto a solid object that was in the shape of a heart, tips idly stroking over its glossy surface as he seemed deep in thought. He had focused on the depth of the colors, taking note of the golden flecks and how embedded they were into its green and red swirls, still musing over how he managed to find such an arcane like object.
The food Chrollo had ordered them for dinner remained unfinished, finding that his appetite just wasn't there. Ever since they had returned to the inn with the eyes, Kurapika didn't really feel himself, almost as if he was experiencing a complete disconnect. Chrollo had attempted on several occasions to make conversation with him, and the blond all but ignored him. For the most part, the older man left him to his rumination.
Never had he thought his journey to recover the rest of his clan's missing eyes would have brought him so close to the shadows of his past, and that it could easily reopen old wounds. But the more he thought on it, more it seemed that could very well be the case. Even as much as he wanted to abolish the horrors he once endured, the imprint always remained. Something held him back, and kept him tied to a life that was long since, gone. It prevented him from moving forward, always there shadowing him and he just couldn't seem to erase it from his existence.
How he hated it. Being tied down by the echoes of the past as it always seemed inescapable.
It was a weight he no longer wanted nor desired to carry.
There was so much blame, and yet, none of it eased his wearied mind.
"Are you going to be okay? You really do have me concerned, Kurapika."
The older man's voice was enough to tug him from his contemplation, and Kurapika looked up to see Chrollo had come to stand beside him before taking a seat on the mattress. He pouted, but said nothing.
There was just nothing to say. No way to express his emotions for in the back of his mind, he still attributed Chrollo for the reason he was still in the position he was. Everything that occurred since that fateful night, and for all the misery he suffered was because of the very person who now sat beside him. The struggle to erase that very aspect from his mindset was still so difficult, even though his mother's vision had been polar opposite of his own. He wanted to believe, he needed to.
But how could he when all he could do was see Chrollo as a monster?
"Because you haven't let go. You still cling to something that you cannot change."
Change. Just like the seasons, so did people. Was he able to do this? Was it even possible for someone like Chrollo?
"Kurapika." The older man called again, this time, he felt a hand along his back, slowly stroking it, the sensation, consoling.
Blue eyes turned in the other's direction and once again, they were laced by anguish and grief. Chrollo couldn't help the pang that abruptly hit him right in the chest.
The silence between them stretched on for agonizing minutes before Kurapika breathed in sharply, and Chrollo prepared for the tempest the blond would surely unleash.
"There is something I have to know. Something I must know. Because I can't even sleep without it pervading my dreams." It was now or never. He had to find out exactly what the older man was thinking. If he was to find the ability to move on, if he was to lay everything to rest, to bury his demons, this would be the way. The only way. Kurapika knew he felt something for Chrollo, that his heart fluttered every time he was in the man's presence and every time they touched. There was just so much holding him back from forming the connection he was sure was growing between them. "But do you ever feel remorse for anything you have done? Or care about those you have hurt by your actions?"
Chrollo knew this day would come. He had been certain of it for a long time now. It was a redemption that he had to face. There was no escaping it. Not that he wanted to. At one time, he would have simply balked at the notion.
Now that Kurapika had altered something within him and caused him to feel emotions that he never once thought he'd ever experience, all he wanted to do was give the young man every reason to trust him. Chrollo wanted Kurapika see that he was more than a monster that didn't care for life and that he was just a simple man, a human beneath all the blood that coated his hands.
Retracting his hand, the corners of his lips downturned, and it was then Chrollo's gaze landed on the canister which sat on the small table across the room. The eyes that he had once harvested, floated inertly amid the liquid which held them. "To say I did would be a lie," he paused, watching the eyes languidly, "for I do not regret every decision I have made. Many people I have crossed, many lives I had taken. But there is one thing I will admit that I do regret."
He could feel Kurapika's eyes upon him. Intent. Severe. The boy's aura heightened and there was both eagerness and bewilderment in the air around him. Yet, Chrollo could tell that the younger man wasn't satisfied. "What exactly do you feel regret for, then?" He asked slowly.
"For everything I have done to you."
Again silence ensued between them before Kurapika was actually find the will to speak, "For everything you have done to me? Are you saying you regret killing my clan, my parents and taking everything away from me?" Though his response was more caustic than not.
This time, Chrollo returned his focus to him and, Kurapika was shocked by what he saw. "I regret what my decision has done to you. While I may not go back and change what I have done, I do hate the fact that I ultimately caused you so much sorrow and pain. There isn't a day that goes by now where I feel bad for everything I have put your through." One hand came up and cupped the blond's cheek, thumb stroking tenderly over the pale flesh where the cut once was before it was healed. "I am sorry, Kurapika."
Every ounce of oxygen evaporated from his lungs as Kurapika had thought someone literally punched him in the chest. There was definitely so much to digest and hearing Chrollo's confession only made it that much more difficult to parse. Tears began to well in the back of his eyes, fighting back the myriad of emotions that now began to swell within. "Do you really understand the magnitude of what you just said? You have done so much to me, so much that I don't even know how I manage anymore. I hated you for so long and wanted to see you die because of it. Now to hear this -"
Chrollo placed his thumb before the blond's lips, ceasing his growing rage, willing him to stop, "You may not believe me now, and I am not expecting you to forgive either, but I cannot sit back and do nothing. I have done more damage to you that does not justify it. What I can say is, I want you to know how I feel and that that I wish I could erase all your pain. It hurts me to see you like this, Kurapika."
With his other hand, he reached for Kurapika´s own hand that held the one object the younger man seemed to hold dear and closed his fingers around those slender digits, bringing it up between them. Kurapika watched as he did so, confusion working its way over his features. "I don't understand."
This time, Chrollo covered his hand completely over Kurapika's.
"What you hold is called a heart stone. They are given to those by a person who is professing how they feel about someone. Like love," he paused, gauging Kurapika's reactions as the younger man's eyes seemed to go wide with the realization, "I gave it to you imbued with my energy in hopes it would help you find peace. Because," this time Chrollo breathed in slowly, looking directly into the Kurta's eyes, "I am falling for you, Kurapika. Because… I love you."
Unconsciously, he trailed his fingers down over Kurapika's chest, stroking over the object that resided just beneath. He could feel the ornate chain and its dangling crystals before slowly pulling away. "I have long since… Felt this way." Chrollo turned away, now unable to face the man before him, the scrutiny heavy in his own mind.
But his suspicions were proven wrong when Kurapika cupped his face and forced him to look at the blond once more, crystalline rivers streaking down those beautiful cheeks, "That is all I needed to hear." Before he knew it, Kurapika's lips had covered his own, pulling him into a slow, affectionate kiss, the taste of salt upon them.
Not caring to disrupt the moment, Chrollo simply let Kurapika do as he willed, relieved at least, the young blond didn't hate him. Or at least, he wasn't being rejected. For inestimable moments, they remained that way, just kissing each other, finding comfort in each other's company and Chrollo was just glad Kurapika didn't run.
"Maybe now I can finally let go and say I just may feel the same way." Kurapika whispered against Chrollo's lips and for once, he didn't feel as if he was lying to himself. His mother was right. She had always been right.
Perhaps now he would be able to move on. Perhaps it was finally time to lay the ghosts of the past to rest.
After Thoughts: Actually I have to say, the biggest struggle for me was writing Chrollo's introspection. Normally, since writing AiC (my side fic told from Chrollo's PoV that connects with this one) I had been finding that writing from Chrollo's perspective wasn't as difficult as I had anticipated. But this one, literally gave me fits. The entire chapter itself was hard to write for, but basically trying to convey how Chrollo was starting to see that his decisions in the past was ultimately what was still afflicting Kurapika and for him to feel regret towards that wasn't something I found easy to type up, especially with trying to keep it sounding honest or legitimate.
But we are finally making some headway! Things are only going to get more interesting in the upcoming chapters. ;D