Authors Note: I own nothing. No ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210.
Chapter Thirty-Six
The tip of my tongue runs down the shell of her ear. If this was all going to end soon I at least wanted a chance to taste her, it had been so long since I had had the chance. "Baby can you run your hand through my hair?"
She complies, torturously rising up slowly onto her toes rubbing her back up my chest, making her butt hit me in just the right way that I almost black out from the pleasure of it. When her hand is in my hair I release her earlobe and ask her to pull on it hard. Her breathing picks up as she follows my instruction, though her moan of Dyl is full of confusion. Pain wasn't a kink of mine.
My breathe caresses her neck, making her shift against me as I whisper, "I just wanted to make sure I wasn't still lying on that lounge dreaming. I want to make sure this, you are real."
With one final tug on my hair she lets go and then moves around in my arms making sure to slide her skin against mine as much as possible. My hands tighten on her spinning hips drawing her closer if that's even possible at this stage. As her fingers land on my chest, I notice her eyes. Bren has always had eyes the colour of the ocean, the multiple shades of the blues and greens the water can make. Right now they are ocean black, they are the currents at midnight. "I think I accepted that offer of a swim."
I heard, I know she did but I don't want to mess this up. I don't want her to regret this.
"You did. Are you sure? I-" her lips smashing onto mine cut off any attempt to be a gentleman. The touch of her tongue on mine is like downing a quarter of a bottle of Jack. I'm instantly drunk on her, I'm unable to worry about anything else but getting her closer, getting her into the water, having her. My hands move to her ass puling her up, she responds by lifting her legs and wrapping them almost painfully around me. Locking them in an iron grip as if she's afraid this could be a dream to, her bodies demanding I stay exactly where I desperately want to be. My kisses take on a force that she equally matches as I submerge us into the warm depths.
It's dark, night has fallen by the time I've had my fill enough to be able to make it the hundred feet to our hotel without causing a scene. Enough that she was able to lift her lips from my skin and request that she may have some awareness of other base needs that she has that need to be met. As I'm wrapping a towel around her, I notice the uneasy face. I wasn't so lost in my need that I didn't suspect this could happen. "What's wrong?"
"That was bad anyone could have seen, we should have gone to the hotel."
My hands open the towel again so that I can wrap around her, to touch her. Wrong because of the location nothing else, as my lips move from her mouth I gently kiss her cheeks, her eyes, her forehead as I speak. "Baby, no one saw, believe me I took us far enough out and it's dark. I don't want anyone but me seeing you like that, hearing you like that."
When my mouth moves to her neck as she moans I move my hips closer to hers. Fuck the hundred feet, who was I kidding it was comparable to asking me to climb Mount Everest- impossible after over eleven months without her like this. "Dyl, stop. I need food." I move my mouth to the spot that always makes her squirm, "mmm okay at the very least I need water."
I chuckle halting my attack, "it's probably from all that yelling of my name." Her pinch has me jumping back slightly.
"No one likes a show off. Now feed me."
"Yes ma'am."
As she moves to gather her beach things around our long forgotten sun lounge's she chats. "Did you see on the menu at the cantina if they have cake? It's your birthday, you should at least get a chance to have a piece of cake and blow out a candle to make a wish."
She's my wish, I don't need anything else if I have her. Before I say that I stop myself, do I have her, what is this?
When I don't respond she turns to me and in the moonlight sees my face, she moves closer. "Dyl." From her tone I know she understands me, she always understands me. "Let's go have dinner, celebrate your birthday, just enjoy the night. Let's leave the questions for now."
She understands me and I her. I knew she had ended it with Josh, she'd never have gone into that water if she hadn't. Even at my most lost, my most destructive I couldn't cross the lines we just did. After everything I put her through, and even before that I knew she'd never be capable of hurting someone even close to this. It was that jigsaw piece, knowing that they broke up that made everything since she walked out of that LAX gate make sense. The day's all our interactions ever since now play in my head with a very distinct soundtrack.
I told my doctor months ago about our breakup sophomore year, with a rational head and an awareness of my own insecurities of being abandoned I could see it more reasonably now. Bren was on emotional overload, the change into a sexual relationship, the potential of giving up her life here, giving up me, the fear of being pregnant- she had reached the point that she was too full of too many unprocessed emotions. She said she didn't understand us what we were about, what she really was saying is she didn't understand how to be a partner to me when she was so flooded in everything.
REM had been playing then. REM had been playing around her all week. I just didn't have the final piece to know what radio station she was tuned into.
Asking so many questions, pushing her right now was not what she needed. It was what I wanted but not what she needed.
"The questions, the talk we can have them on whatever timetable you want. I'm not going anywhere take whatever time you need." The relief that falls upon her face is not lost on me though it doesn't stop me from grabbing her hand as she goes to grab her bag. "Just, I just need to know one thing. Is is this just Baja?"
She follows my hand back into my arms and kisses my chin. "I have always been ridiculously bad at staying away from you, I don't think I'm actually capable of it. Baby, I've got no desire to try and see if I can learn to now."
Her lips kiss mine and she then moves out of my arms with a simple, "McKay I need food."
It's the Baby that has me not pointing out that she didn't answer, it's the first time she's called me that it so long. As I follow her back into her hotel room I give myself a pep talk, if it's just Baja make it count. If it's just Baja, after everything just be thankful for that.
My eyes open with the sound of his heartbeat under my ear. I'm literally sleeping on top of him, his body is my mattress and I've burrowed in leaving no space between us. He doesn't seem to mind though. His arms are holding me there and he's making that tiny whistle snore he does when he is sleeping peacefully on his back.
The red lights of the alarm clock numbers tell me if I want to take that walk I need to get up now. My body screams not to, to enjoy the most comfortable mattress you've ever slept on but my head my head is awake and it's already full of thoughts. It needs the sand, the water, the sunrise, to help put it in at least a temporary order to make it through the day.
Getting up is difficult, he only relinquishes me when I kiss his chest and whisper I'm going to the bathroom. Moving into my adjoining room I make my way to the shower. There will be no walk until I wash the traces of cake, the sweat, Dylan, us off me.
The sand is cool on my feet, the heat of yesterday leaving it somewhere in the night. As I approach the wet sand and feel the water move around my toes I lift the cream cheesecloth dress up to ensure the material doesn't get wet. Dylan choose it yesterday. The halter neck, the lose crochet strip around my lower ribs, the colour, it screamed the beach. It felt like a holiday, an escape like everything here had.
When I get to the sand where Dylan and I recklessly got carried away my face blushes. I'd lost count of the pleasure of it all, I lost count of how many hours I'd been lost in him. I knew though it had been us even at our worst on steroids. It was deliciously moorish, with every taste I needed him again.
The heat doesn't leave my skin until I consciously decide to stop replaying it, I made a deal when I hit the rocks at the end of beach I had to stop. Thankfully my mind used to having me try and order it obeys. By the time I'm making my way back, I see him sitting with his sunglasses on, barefoot, in his jeans, in the blue shirt I got him yesterday and I have made my to do list for the day.
I gracefully try and fall on my knees in front off him, well if gracefully means I lifted the hem of my dress out so I wouldn't land on it.
"Hey, good walk?"
"Yep. Good sleep in?"
"It was until I realised that you weren't coming back." It wasn't said with bitterness or spite, it was said as if he was just simply speaking the truth- stating a fact. He lifts a strand of hair that has blown onto my cheek and puts it behind my ear. "You light up from walking the beach. You look energised."
"It's amazing considering how little sleep I got and how much energy I used up, but you are right I do, I am. I even have a to do list for this morning all figured out. Which includes us leaving as soon as we can. I need to stop past my place before our class. I don't have my pill on me and I still take it every morning, I think after the last thirteen hours we shouldn't tempt fate by delaying it till after class."
He touches my chin with his finger tips while a nervous look sets upon his face, I know he's about to say something I won't like when I see his shoulders slightly move back and tense. "Yesterday we got carried away before we could discuss anything, I… I just want you to know I wouldn't have let it get that far like that. I wouldn't put you at risk unless I was absolutely sure. Me and her we never were unprotected."
Dylan had been single for five months since her- hell he had barely been with her, their relationship lasted all of five maybe six weeks. He had traveled for half the summer alone. I thought… before graduation I didn't give him any hope that I would change my mind but yet he didn't even try and find comfort somewhere else. Even when there was no hope he didn't look for even a bit of his old life. I rise onto my knees, it makes me slightly higher than him, he has to tilt his head up as my lips land on his.
When I pull back I play with the collar of his shirt. After we got back together, after our scare I didn't trust condoms I went on the pill. Gradually over that year we went from double protection to relying only on the pill which I took religiously each morning. When we broke up I never even thought about getting off it, I liked the regularity it provided but that's all it was to me now. I didn't even think of using it only with Josh. "I wouldn't risk you either. I always used protection as well."
Dylan lifts me onto his lap as my word's of reassurance see him devouring my mouth. When I feel his hands skim up my leg under my dress I pull back, his lips just fall onto my neck. "Baby we can't, people are starting to wake up, set up for the day, anyone could see."
"We can, the dress is long. You should always wear long skirts."
"Dyl." His lips returning to mine cuts off any protest and while I almost give in the noise from the cantina getting ready for breakfast has me pulling back, and him falling backwards with a groan on the sand when I avoid his attempt to capture my lips once again.
His protest only gets louder as I stand, "come on we should go." I hold out my hand for him, as I see the flash of rebellion the idea forming to pull me back down on top of him- I give him stern eyes, "don't even think about it." He huffs like he's ready to stamp his feet and have a tantrum; he was always adorably disappointed when he couldn't get his way. Somethings never change.
"Come on grumpy. I promise if we make it to my place in good time we can take advantage of my brother's having early mornings on campus."
He smiles up at me from the sand and gives me that sexy look, it's strangely tinted with relief.