Authors Note: I own nothing. No ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210.

Chapter Forty

Bobby arrived with the grandparents, though he would be staying with us for the weekend. It was the reason Bren and I skipped out early and came to the airport to collect him.

The airport greetings were the usual, a lot of cheek squeezing for me, hugs for everyone and then complaints about the flight from Grandpa Beevis. While I was listening to how he was denied a third packet of warm nuts, an outrage after the price of the tickets, I notice Grandma Walsh holding Bren longer than anyone else. The two of them always had their special thing and I was hoping that special connection would get Bren to open up.

It hadn't past my notice that my sister was processing something, but unlike when it was her trying to understand how she didn't see Dylan and Kelly's lies she wasn't even giving me a crumb of insight into her head this time. She was always private but she was taking it to a whole new level now.

At first I thought it was because Josh was good friends with Steve, Kyle and Tony, hell even me. I thought it might be that she didn't want us being put in the middle of a messy breakup. Though it didn't sound messy. He rang a couple at times a week and from as far as I could tell they chatted about his competition, her classes and any news on the show. Whenever I'd walk past her room it always sounded light, there was laughter, though after she was off the phone she was often in the freezer getting her two scoops. Two scoops were never good. Though she was eating, unlike after the park last year. Two scoops told me she was feeling bad but not devastated. It told me to give her time to sort it out, that she didn't need me to butt in.

Even Dylan's carjacking this week hadn't derailed her from her appetite. After his crazy attempt at taking her to a firing range she had stayed with him until this morning when Iris was due back, regardless though I saw her everyday of campus and she was eating. I also knew if she wasn't, as lost Dylan was right now he would have given me worried eyes. There was none of that. He hadn't even seemed worried that she was all in her head for a couple of weeks now. He had picked up on it first after her French trip but after their 'lunch' in Baja he hadn't seemed to be too concerned over it. I guess because while she wasn't opening up to him as far I could see, she was using his presence as a support. They were always around each other.

At first I thought it meant something was happening, especially after the Keg party where the two of them together either held up the wall with their backs looking out at the room and clearly less than impressed with a college fraternity party, or were on the dance floor lost in their own little world. They were never more than a foot away from each other, but when they didn't touch besides their normal interactions and he was amused rather than angry at a guy who bravely attempted to approach her I knew that they weren't. Dylan was full of contradictions but where he wasn't was around my sister, he was territorial of her and he would be especially territorial if they were thinking about getting back together. I'd even guess more than I had ever seen after wanting the reunion desperately since he came out of his crazy haze.

When the three of us came into the apartment Steve was waiting for us.

He jumps up and holds out his hand to my cousin, "Bobby it's good to see you again."

"Thanks man, and thanks for letting me crash here." Bren gives me a look as my spine tenses, there are certain words that I'll never be okay about associating with Bobby. Crash was one of them.

"Anytime Brother. Our Casa is your Casa."

"Don't say that so fast, otherwise I might not leave. The Minnesota winter's are seriously getting on my nerves."

I join in then, trying to move away from the image of him crashing. "What's this cuz? You love the winter. The hockey."

"Yeah Bran, I love the hockey but navigating around an icy slick campus or worse a snow covered one in these wheels for another two year's is looking pretty unappealing, and don't get me started on the other things I have to be more aware of without any feeling in my legs. Last winter I didn't even know my shoe had got ice in it while I was crossing the campus, by the time I realised it my foot was nearly blue." Shit of course, I didn't even think of how moving between buildings would be a challenge for him.

"But you just started your Masters there, are you thinking about giving it up?"

"Nope, I've got an appointment tomorrow morning with the head of the Admissions for the CU Business School. While I'm here I thought I'd see if there was a chance to transfer at the end of the semester. You never know I could be your business agent before too long, we could take over this town."

"Hey now, wait a second, if anyone is Gizmo's manager it will be me, her brother from another mother."

"I hate to break it to the both of you, but I'm fine with my current agent and I don't need anyone managing the business end. Samantha has been guiding me through all that. Though Bobby I'm excited we might have you around, even if Val will be declaring us traitors for welcoming you here."

"Little Malone needs to get over her hatred of me. I did nothing wrong."

I jump in on teasing my other sister, "hey you know the scary triplet she likes nothing better than holding onto a grudge, they are like her versions of keepsakes, they are special."

"Yeah, bunny boilers do the same."

Steve snorts, Bren gives our older cousin stern eyes as she chastises him. "And Val is the only one who needs to get over her hatred."

Bobby does his butter wouldn't melt in my mouth look and Bren caves as usual without him even walking back the remark. After we show him to my room where he will be sleeping, we decide to head to The Pit for dinner.

While we are going through the menu, I see Kelly and Donna come in. It doesn't pass my notice that the formers face takes on a truly happy look when her eyes land on my cousin. She hasn't looked like that since… junior year? When I turn my head to look at Bobby I catch my sister's eyes- both of their expressions aren't missed by her either.

Bobby knew the mild version of the story, and I can see the moment he breaks contact with the blonde and turns to my sister. His expression is asking permission for a question he can't voice without making a scene. She smiles and winks at him, it's the green light he needs to extend the offer for them to join us. By dessert the two of them have all but forgotten that any of us are there. That's when Iris and Dylan walk in.

They come over and say hi but quickly depart for the counter with Dylan giving pleading eyes to Bren. She nods, excuses herself and joins them. Iris must be in mother mode.

Thank god she comes over. Though I don't look up from my menu when she arrives in case I accidentally lean over and kiss her. Three straight nights of sleeping next to her. Three straight mornings of waking beside her- well with either her on top of me using me as a pillow or vice versa. Three day's of kissing her touching her whenever I wanted, when we were where we should be- at home, in what should be our home together. Not reaching for her now, like everyday on campus was taking more restraint than I knew I was capable.

"Bren, mum's just having a plate of fruit but I'm getting a slice of peach pie what can I get you?" It was my way to encourage her to stay and sit with us, give me some time after I've been away from her for hours. It was also my cry for help to save me from my overbearing mother. A mother who after I told her of the carjacking had cried, blamed herself for not being there, rang my doctor and then insisted on me attending a meeting with her tonight. After months of her mothering after Jack after Bren, after half a summer as my only daily familiar face, after her keeping her word and staying a part of my life even living in Hawaii, consistently visiting. She had earned the right to be a mother, and I had earned the right to act like any normal son being harassed with good intentions from my mother.

"Thanks but I've already eaten."

Still keeping my eyes firmly on a menu I'd memorised as a thirteen year old, I teasingly ask, "does that mean you won't be stealing any of my pie or ice cream?" Her huff has me asking Nat for an double scoop of ice cream on the side and an extra large piece when he stops by for our order.

His warm chuckle tells me he knows why, "of course I'll bring two spoons, and a crispy piece like my Laverne likes."

She sits down then with her dramatic flare, "I don't always steal your pie."

My laugh rings through on every word, she was ridiculous she always ate from my plate and in fairness I always ate from hers as well. "No sometimes it's my fries-"

Leaning forward she cuts me off and looks over at my Mum, "Iris I'd ask about your trip but I'm sure you are too focused in your mind on what's been happening here. He's doing fine, as you can see he still has no sense of humour so he's back to normal."

"Hey!" "Thank you sweetheart you are right I'm worried and very mad at myself for not being there for him. His doctor says he's doing well, especially after his double length emergency session, and Ben tonight didn't appear concerned. They both said you were the catalyst for him stopping himself from going down a dark path."

"I don't know about that but I understand Dylan's thinking. It's hard to feel safe after an event like that. It's hard to admit you don't feel it even to yourself."

"You both know I'm sitting right here?" Their conversation having taken place over my coffee but evidently one that I wasn't included in.

"Your point darling?"

"That I've been saying I'm fine for hours Mum, but you've needed to still hear it from my Doctor, my Sponsor and my G- Bren. Maybe have a little faith that I wouldn't lie to you about it."

"Dylan of course you wouldn't lie but I'm just worried okay? I just need to keep hearing that you are fine, that I didn't almost lose you."

Shit. She had that voice that meant she was close to tears. I cover her hand with mine and squeeze. "Mum I'm fine. If that's not calming your fear then know Bren wouldn't have left my side if she felt I wasn't-"

My girls voice behind my shoulder reiterates my claim. "That's true Iris."

She stands then and hugs me. "I know, I know it's just… there's a lot of fear running through my system just indulge me okay?" I nod. She then moves over to Bren, "thank you for taking care of him. You've always known exactly what he need's." It's on the tip of my tongue to say her, Bren always knows I just need her. I don't though, I'm not allowed. She's not ready.

Mum steps back and looks at us both, "I'm just going to tidy up a little." She points to her face and while she looks fine the couple of tears that did escape have made her eyes a little dark underneath.

When she's gone Nat drops off the desserts with a wink understanding what all that was about. After my first bit of pie is in my mouth I see Bren's spoon attack the plate. After the heaviness of the last few minutes it has me smiling. Wanting to change the subject I ask about the airport and Bobby settling in. By the time her spoon and mine are play fighting for the peach slice that's covered in ice cream I bravely ask about what's going on at the table over there.

"It's… she had the same look tonight when she saw like she did that first time. He did as well. I know that look. You know that look." I smile and risk looking up from the plate. Risk my eyes landing on her. I know what look she was talking about, I know the first time I had it.

"Our look at the locker was more intense-"

"Dyl, we aren't competing on whose look is more meaningful." It is said with utter amusement and a roll of her eyes when I move my spoon between us indicating where I stand on who the winners will always be. "Anyway his last girlfriend, it wasn't great in the end and there hasn't been much happening in his love life since. Kelly… she may never be my best friend again but she like us didn't come out of that year unscathed. I know she hasn't been dating anyone since…" thankfully she doesn't say me. That will never be a history a reminder that I want to hear. "Well except that sleaze at the Keg house. You know me I'm not petty, I won't stand between my cousin and her having something real just because of our history with her. And I don't even know how to stand between that look."

"You can't. Nothing can block that look for long." I know I'm giving her it now, I know she even without thought is giving it right back. It's a look that makes her even more beautiful to me.

"Darlings, unless you want a room full of people knowing, then you absolutely need to turn your heads away from each other right now."

My mother's timing sucked!