Star and Marco vs Evil Book 2 Chapter 15: XV, a star vs. the forces of evil fanfic

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This is a work of fiction portraying alternate universes; all similarities to beings living, dead, or undead are entirely convergent.

Marco stood in a vast, black, nothingness. Odd, he thought, shouldn't I be floating, not standing? Out loud, he said, "Jeebus, I hope this isn't another nightmare."

Marco jumped, startled, when Star walked up beside him, saying, "You and me both, bestie." She took his hand, and Marco couldn't believe how real it felt.

"What are you doing in my dream?" Marco asked.

"What are you doing in my dream?" Star replied. "Here, I'll show you." Star let go of Marco's hand, then slapped him hard across the face.

"Yow!" Marco cried. "That actually stung. Why did you do that?"

Star shrugged. "That's what you do in dreams."

"Oh. Okay." Marco hauled back and slapped Star, his palm stinging from the blow.

"Youch!" Star cried.

Star slapped Marco back, who responded by slapping her back. They began a slap fight, like two college students fighting over the last parking space in front of a lecture hall. All through the fight they both yelled, "ow ow ow ow ow ow OW!"

Finally, Marco raised his hand and said, "Stop, I surrender. Maybe we are together in the same dream."

"How would we know?"

Marco shrugged. "I guess if ... ahem ... when we wake up, we ask each other about this and if we both have the same answer, we really are together in this dream."

Star shook her head. "Magic's weird."

A shining path appeared under the pair's feet, stretching into infinity in both directions. "Guess we're taking a dream walk," Marco said, taking Star's hand. As they walked, along the path, on both sides, appeared crystals containing moving images, like the displays of security cameras viewing other places.

All the views were clearly of Earth or Mewni, but there were differences, some subtle, some not so subtle. Star recognized the crystals, saying, "Omnitraxus showed me these; we're looking into alternate universes."

Marco looked around, asking, "Is Omnitraxus doing this to us? Do you suppose this is punishment for interacting with AUs?"

"Dunno." Star stopped. "Look." In the crystal was the AU where Star was the daughter of Moon and Toffee. "See, one of the AUs we visited."

"Yeah, but," Marco began, looking forward and backward down the lines of crystals, "it can't be just our AU adventures, there are far, far, too many. There must be hundreds, thousands ... millions, maybe."

"Erg," was Star's only answer.

As they walked, Star and Marco recognized many of the AUs they had visited, including the sad dystopias. They saw many more they did not recognize, with a disturbingly high number of them showing death and destruction. They paused briefly to watch a battle between Mewmans and Monsters that included a male Star, dressed like the one they had encountered the morning Star presented the Petition of Friendship. He was injured and covered in blood, and as the pair watched, he opened a space-time portal. There was no sign of girl-Marco.

Suddenly, the path whisked them forward, the teens hanging on to each other for dear life as the AU crystals blurred with the speed of the path's travel. Finally, it slowed, the end of the lines of crystals coming into view. They coasted to a stop in front of the final crystal, situated at the very end of the path.

Unlike the other crystals, which showed one continuous scene, this crystal showed many, in sequence. The teens saw Meteora's first attack, on the village in the Jaggy Mountains. They saw their first direct battle against Meteora, including Star's transformation. They saw numerous battles, and the death of Meteora. "Star," Marco said in awe, "I think this is our universe."

As Marco spoke, all the other crystals disappeared. The one in front of them began showing scenes of carnage, like in so many of the other crystals they looked at. They saw Mewmins and Monsters alike, lying dead among devastated ruins. The scene shifted to one of Kelly, literally torn to pieces, limbs, blood, and organs splashed about. Even as a warrior princess, going on many hunts with her father, killing and dressing animals for food, Star still gagged at the sight of their friend.

The crystal switched from scene to scene, each showing more bodies ... Moon, River, Tom ... then, in horror, Star and Marco realized the bloodied bodies currently being shown were their own. The bodies' surroundings were indistinct, but it appeared to be a room in a museum, with shapes similar to statues and busts, and colors on the wall similar to tapestries and paintings. The pair watched as Janna came into view, keening, "Oh god, oh god, oh god." She dropped to her knees, felt each body for a pulse, then screamed, "They're dead!" Trembling in fear, Star and Marco embraced each other for comfort.

The perspective in the crystal zoomed out, showing Butterfly Castle in ruins, burning. It zoomed out further, showing utter devastation throughout Mewni. The view in the crystal abruptly froze; cracks spiderwebbed throughout the crystal before it shattered. The pieces fell away into the void, revealing Glossaryck.

"Glossaryck!" Star yelled. "You're doing this? Why?"

Glossaryck sat cross legged, floating in space. He looked first at one teen, then the other. "I am showing you a possible future, one that must not come to pass."

"Why you and not Omnitraxus?"

"Just because Omnitraxus is my son doesn't mean he's not an ignorant dumbass. Look, do you want your warning or not?"

"If you're so powerful that you can do ... this," Marco indicated the void, the path, and where the ribbons of AU crystals had been, "why don't you prevent it?" Marco thought for a second. "Why didn't those other variants of you prevent the destruction of those other Mewnis?"

Glossaryck looked bored. "Child, there is only one of me."

"One?" Star asked. "So those AUs don't have a Glossaryck?"

"All those universes have a Glossaryck, and they are all me. Being in only one timeline just isn't interesting enough."

"Yeah," Star said, "you're Glossaryck alright."

The volume of Glossaryck's voice grew, somehow echoing in the void. "You must put an end to this. You must ... stop ... HER."

"Who, Glossaryck?"

Blood ... not magic, but red, gory, blood ... began to ooze from every one of Glossaryck's orifices. "She has already begun. She will soon reveal herself to you."

"Who will reveal herself, Glossaryck?"

Glossaryck began to grow, to distort. He grew fangs and claws; bone spikes began growing through his skin. In a voice loud and deep as thunder, Glossaryck yelled, "The Destroyer of Worlds!" He flew at the teens, claws brandished, his open mouth a gaping maw of pointed teeth.

With a simultaneous screech, both teens sat up in bed, breathing hard. Marco rolled over and asked, "Did you have the same ..."

"Yeah," Star interrupted.

"Glossaryck appears to be taking sides in some ... conflict? I thought he didn't have a side."

Star raised her eyebrows, shaking her head.

Simultaneously, each of the two said, "That isn't ominous at all..." "That's scary as fuck..."

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At Marco's Accolade, when Kelly spoke to Star and Marco about the cooking contest she had entered, Star had mentioned Marco's ease in a kitchen. Star spoke so highly of Marco's Super Awesome Nachos and delicious Corn Wallace that several days later Kelly invited him to be her assistant chef. With Tad having finally moved out, or so Kelly claimed, she told Marco she had no other real choice. Marco quipped that Kelly's comment sounded like she was damning him with faint praise; Kelly looked so hurt by the joke that he had to accept.

Star and Marco had spoken at length as to whether it made sense for Marco to still participate, given Glossaryck's warning. Finally, they'd decided that Glossaryck simply had not given them enough information to act on. They would be wary and on-guard, but it made no sense to put their lives on hold. Marco would cook with Kelly, while Star would go on with her duties and remain vigilant. Should something happen, she would immediately contact him.

It turned out the cooking contest was "reality TV," broadcast on the magic-mirror network across multiple dimensions, including Mewni. The show took about two weeks to film, but, for a "reality" show, was surprisingly bland; it was nothing like Hell's Kitchen in the Earth Dimension. Marco was secretly thankful for that, imagining, when the episodes finally aired, what Star would do to a Gordon Ramsay type that was harshly disrespectful to him; the most likely response would be a Star-led hunt through the Forest of Certain Death, aided by a pack of Lucitor Demon-Hounds.

Marco and Kelly easily made it to the finals; the rest of the teams, except one, weren't good. At all. Marco couldn't understand why the show was so popular when there was no conflict and the cooks so bad.

The day of the finals, Star joined the live studio audience. She stood just outside the studio kitchenettes watching as Marco and Kelly, with the help of studio staff, worked on the final touches of Kelly's creation. Other staffers aided the other contestants.

One of the contestants noticed Star watching. "Hey, Pacifica," he called. "Pacifica! Over here!" The boy waved both hands at Star, finally getting her attention. "Why are you dressed like that? And when did you shorten your hair?" Star didn't answer. "Pacifica? PacificURK!" The boy ran around the stage, desperately dodging a stagehand's attempt to hit him again with a length of hose.

Star turned her attention back to her friends, looking on in confusion. She didn't understand why she was allowed on stage, allowed to help her two contestant friends if they wished, and why the studio was helping. Finally, she couldn't take it any longer, and next time she caught Marco's eye, she gestured him over.

In a whisper, Star said, "I don't understand. I thought this was a competition, so why are people helping?"

"It's a TV competition," Marco whispered back. "The point of a TV 'reality show' is to allow yourself to be entertained by pretending that it's real." He gave Star a quick kiss on the cheek. "Just like love."

"Um..." Star began, but was interrupted by the studio's wrangler calling for all non-contestants to leave the stage.

Once the stage was cleared, the three pairs of contestants moved to stand behind one large plinth each, with their cooking creation under a box. Three beings walked in and stood behind a table, the judges ready to evaluate the final products. The emcee, a Monster with bright red fur, hidden arms, and wearing only sneakers, moved in-between the first team and the judges.

The lights came up, and the director called, "Action."

An announcer, standing off to the side, called, "Welcome to the finals of 'Extreme Baking Battle.' Here is your host, mister G. ... Gossamer ... GODFREEEEE!"

"Thanks, Chuck. How's missus Jones?" asked the emcee.

"More horrifying than ever before."

"So glad to hear it." The emcee turned toward the camera. "Today's extreme baking theme is cartoon confection, and each team had two hours to make cakes featuring beloved cartoon stars. It's now time to present the cakes to the judges." He indicated the first contestants. "First up are Mewmin home bakers, Mabel and Mason."

"Call me 'Dipper,'" Mason responded.

"No ... and shut it, the helper doesn't speak or else it gets the hose again." Mason bit his lip.

Mabel piped up, "Hiya, judges! I'm so excited!"

"Hi, Mabel. Tell us what you made today, sweetie," Judge One said.

"Well, our character is Soos. Our design uses a marshmallow structure to create a delicious 3D pile of toilet paper rolls. Soos is made from sponge cake and the floor of the bathroom he is cleaning is made of spun sugar. You can flip the script and eat his brains."

"That's very ambitious," Judge Two said. "You did all that in two hours?"

"Yes, we did!"

"Okay," Judge Three said, "let's see it, Mabel."

Mabel and Mason lifted the box, showing a pile of sponge cakes and marshmallows, one of the sponge cakes covered in green frosting patterned to look like a shirt. Licorice formed a question mark on the shirt, and a marshmallow was placed on the cake to make it look like it was wearing a hat. The overall product looked nothing like Mabel described.

Judge One said, "Wow! Mabel, looks like you had some problems."

"Yes, we had some problems and did a really bad job."

"What went wrong?" asked Judge Two.

"I think our nerves got the best of us ... and we don't know how to cook, we're only twelve years old. I have no idea why you asked us to be on this show."

Judge Three said, "Okay, well, let's go ahead and taste your cake."

A studio staffer cut a large piece out of the cake, then carried it to the judges' table. They each cut a piece off it with a fork, sampling the confection.

"Is it good?" Mabel asked.

"No, it's not, no," Judge Two answered.

Mabel hung her head. "I know; we did a bad job."

"Also," Judge One, an older gentleman with big ears and wearing a fez, added, "Soos isn't a star character, he's at best a pathetic and sometimes amusing side character. Fight me."

"Well, moving on," the emcee cut in, "next up are dimension hoppers extraordinaire, Woolett Kelly and Human Marco."

"Heyyyyy, judges," Kelly gushed, "I want this so bad and I'm ready to compete!"

"That's great, Kelly," Judge Three answered. "Tell us what you two did today."

"Well, our lives have been garbage lately, so we picked Oscar the Grouch."

"Weird way to get there," Judge One said, "but okay."

Kelly explained, "We used vanilla sponge cake and covered it in blueberry royal icing dyed green. He's about to hang ten on his brand-new skateboard made of taffy. And is that a chocolate chip cookie road he's skating on? The answer is, fuck yeah!" Kelly covered her mouth. "Oh, I'm so sorry."

"That's quite okay," the emcee cut in, "we'll loop in a word more acceptable than 'taffy,' in post-production."

"Well," Judge Three started, "that sounds incredible."

"Are you happy with how it turned out?" Judge One asked.

"Yes, we are!"

"Well, let's see it," Judge Two said. Kelly and Marco removed the box. "Oh my, Kelly, what the fuck is that?"

Sitting on a plate was a big green head. It had arms and legs sticking out of it, all of which appeared to be shackled to the podium. It wore a tag below its hideous mouth with "TAD" hand-written on it.

"Kelly," Marco whispered urgently, "what the hell is this? Where's our cake?"

"Quiet," Kelly whispered back, "or you'll get the hose."

"What went wrong?" Judge Two asked.

"Wrong?" Kelly asked innocently. "Looks perfect to me."

Judge Three added, "That looks like Oscar the Grouch meets Madame Guillotine. And you wrote the name 'Tad' on the cake. Who or what is 'Tad?'"

Kelly, her face full of innocence, replied, "'Tad?' No idea what you're talking about."

The emcee finished the questioning with, "Well, that's too bad. And Oscar the Grouch is also a side character, not to mention he's a Muppet, not animated. Next up are Monsters Robert and Patrick. Gentlebeings, tell us what you made."

Robert replied, "Aye-aye, captain! My character, or character-s, are those undersea superheroes, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. They came out so good, I'm just going to show you." Robert and Patrick lifted the box, revealing a perfect representation of the two heroes in confection. They were made so well they almost looked alive. "Okay, so what do you think?"

Judge One said, "It's fine, whatever. Now, to pick a winner."

Robert responded, incredulously, "Wait! That's it? You're moving on?"

The emcee cut in, "Afraid so, Robert. Those are, again, side characters and we're just tired of all you idiots not following directions."

As the emcee spoke, a voice cried out, "Hey, let me go!"

"I'm sorry," the emcee said, surprised, "is that your cake, Kelly?"

Again, Kelly assumed a look of innocence. "No, don't think so."

Judge Two said, in a scolding tone, "Alright, what's going on there, Kelly?"

"Well ... okay. This is my ex-boyfriend, Tad. He refuses to move out, so I thought this would be a good way to get the point across that he needs to leave me alone."

"Kelly!" Tad cried. "Please let me go. This is really embarrassing."

"Well," Judge Two said, "that's pretty horrifying and disgusting, but also pretty creative."

"Wait," Robert cut in, "are you seriously saying that cake is better than my cake?"

"Quiet, bitch," Tad responded to Robert.

"Robert," the emcee said, "I'm not a judge so I can say this: you're coming off as crazy."

"Hmmmm," Judge Two mused, "we have a tough decision to make."

"No, you don't!" Robert shouted.

"Kellyyyyy!" cried Tad.

"Shut it, Tad, or you'll get the hose," Kelly said quietly, giving him a smack to the back of his head-body.

Mister Jones signaled the end of the segment, announcing, "We'll be back with the judges' decision right after these words from our sponsors."

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Star and Marco waited for Kelly outside the studio. Kelly had remained after the judges' choice had been announced, to sign any papers the studio lawyer put in front of her absolving the studio of all responsibility. The teens turned as the door opened and Kelly stepped out. Before the door closed, they heard, "Kelly! Don't leave me! KELLY!"

Star hugged Kelly. "Congratulations on winning!" Star gushed.

"Thanks," Kelly replied, blushing. "I couldn't have done it without you, Marco."

"No, no. No, no, no, no, no," Marco said. "No, no, NO! Don't put any of that on me. You cruelly drugged Tad and shackled him to a podium. The only reason we won is because Tad isn't a side character, he's an abomination."

"Whatevs," Kelly said. "You know, I really do want to thank you for doing this. I've really missed you since Star came back. I miss battling side by side with you," Kelly began breathing hard, "you looking hot in armor, sparring hard with me, your hair slicked back with battle sweat ..." Kelly threw herself at Marco, giving him a long, passionate, kiss.

Marco kept his eyes and arms open. He looked to Star, who didn't react for several moments. Deciding she knew what was happening, she buried the twinge of jealousy that erupted, mouthing, It's okay. Marco's eyes then widened when Star mouthed something he never thought she'd say: Kiss her back, Wild Man.

Marco closed his eyes, embraced Kelly hard, and slightly dipped her. The kiss went on for so long that Star said, "Um, I'd say you two should get a portal, but I really don't want you to do that."

Kelly, her normally pink cheeks now crimson red, said, "Wow. That was even better than I imagined ... and I imagined it'd be stupendous."

The two parted, Kelly smiling at Star. "Don't worry. I think you know I had a crush on Marco," Kelly paused, looking into Marco's eyes, "kinda still do." Turning back to Star, she said, "Even if I thought I could break you two up, I don't want to. When I see you two together ... well, how could I break that up? I can't even feel jealous any more, you two look so good together. I just hope I someday find a love like you two have."

Kelly kissed Marco on the cheek, then walked over to Star, giving her a quick hug. "Are we good?" Kelly asked.

Star smiled a genuine smile, and replied, warmly, "We're good."

Kelly pulled out her dimensional scissors and opened a portal. "Any time you want to hang," she addressed the two of them, "together or just one of you, I'm game. And if you encounter a hottie like Marco, you set us up, 'k?" Kelly stepped into the portal and was gone. ⭐

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Inside a cave in a Monster temple, in the shadow of Globgor, Crusher of Skulls, still in his crystal prison, were Bob, Hekapoo, Rhombulus, Omnitraxus, and Reynaldo the Bald Pate, newly restored to the Commission. They all sat around a circular table pulled from the debris, except for Omnitraxus, who was situated in his crystal ball atop a cart next to the table.

Bob wanted to vomit, being so close to these disgusting creatures, but politics was politics. She stood, addressing the Commission. "Thank you for agreeing to meet me here, in secret. You may call me Bob, and I'm thrilled to finally meet you in person. There is something of importance we must discuss, something of such great import that it requires the attention of such magnificent beings as yourselves." Barf, thought Bob.

Bob gestured, projecting an image of New Monster Castle above the middle of the table. "Monsters are taking over our beloved Mewni. A new, larger, Monster Kingdom has been created, combining the territories of the old Monster Kingdom with the former Pigeon Kingdom." Bob switched to a map of Mewni. "They now sit on the borders of every kingdom on the surface of Mewni, with the Butterfly Kingdom sandwiched between the two halves."

Switching to an image of Buff Frog, in front of the Monster Corps of the LDG, Bob continued, "The Butterflys have been corrupted, openly allowing Monsters into positions of authority. They employ Monsters as part of their armed forces, ready for use to crush any kingdom that fights when the Butterflys inevitably force their Monster policies on the allied kingdoms."

Bob regarded the MHC, who were shifting uncomfortably in their chairs and sphere. "I wish I could say Monsters have yet to take the reins of power, but it's already happened." The image switched to Marco. "A part Monster has been made a prince over all Mewni. While it's true he is of the original, and best, Butterfly line, it is through Meteora, a half monster who, as you well know, was the product of the vile fornication of Queen Eclipsa with the Prince of Darkness." Bob swept a hand grandly in the direction of Globgor.

"Even worse, the current monarchy is corrupted by Monster blood even more so than the original; the fact it's Lucitor blood makes no difference. Queen Moon is one-sixteenth Monster, while the next queen is one-thirty-second. You wouldn't think that would be enough to corrupt a being, but Princess Star's disgusting love of Monsters shows that it is. Her dallying with an alien, even if it's now known to be of the same species ..." Bob allowed the accusation to hang in the air.

Bob switched the image to one showing Mewmins toiling in backbreaking labor, overseen by Monsters using magic to lord their power over the Mewmins. "We must not allow this to happen. Will you work with me to prevent it?"

Rhombulus was mute; his head had not completely reformed, and he had not reacquired the power of speech. It was unclear whether he had reacquired his intelligence, which was never that great to begin with. Omnitraxus spoke, but the apparatus connected to his crystal ball was misadjusted so could not be understood. Reynaldo took a breath to answer, but Hekapoo turned toward him to cut him off, saying, "Just don't."

Turning back, Hekapoo regarded Bob from under her bangs; there was something familiar about Bob, several somethings, in fact. If only I could see Bob's face, she thought. That was beside the fact that it was exceedingly rare for a Mewmin not from either Butterfly line to use magic, and those that did were never unknown to the Commission. The fact that Bob had somehow managed to hide her existence was quite worrisome.

Slowly, Hekapoo said, "We've been concerned, for some time, with the direction Mewni was going in regard to Monsters, especially since Princess Star began showing signs of becoming another Monster Love." In the very deep recesses of her magical brain, a very tiny voice screamed hypocrite but was completely ignored. "The fact that Mewmins are now known, by a small few, to be humans doesn't change the fact that she was willing to soil herself with an alien before that was known." Hekapoo narrowed her eyes. "I'm curious how you know that Mewmins and humans are the same."

Bob ignored the question. Instead, she said, "I offer you my magic, my knowledge, and my political and military skills. Together, the five of us can stop this tragedy from happening. What say you?"

Rhombulus nodded, while Omnitraxus gave two thumbs up. Reynaldo replied, "I was born here, I was not born there; I am rigid, inelastic, 'though my pate has no hair. What am I?"

Bob paused a few seconds before answering, not because she did not know the answer, but to gain control of herself so she didn't suck the magic out of Reynaldo right then and there. Finally, she answered, "A firm native."

Bob turned her gaze to Hekapoo, who had yet to answer. Hekapoo sat, chewing on her bottom lip, as she thought. Finally, she said, "Fine."

The meeting broke up, Bob standing by the table while Hekapoo, Reynaldo and Rhombulus headed for the cave's exit, Reynaldo pushing Omnitraxus' cart. Bob called out, "A moment of your time, Lady Hekapoo, please?"

Hekapoo stopped, turning as Bob walked up to her. "I sensed some reluctance on your part," Bob said. "Is there a problem?"

"No, no problem," Hekapoo answered.

"Good. I'd hate to think we can't work together."

Hekapoo didn't respond, turning and continuing toward the exit. The second she had turned away from Bob, Hekapoo's face had scrunched up, her brows knit together in concentration. So many things about Bob were familiar; her bearing, her tone, the very sound of her voice. Even the smell of her magic was familiar. Hekapoo was certain as she could be that this was the being responsible for the portal she sensed when investigating Meteora's disappearance, but beyond that, Bob remained a mystery. It was especially concerning that despite her cloak hood being open enough to allow her to see, nobody could discern anything of Bob's facial features above her lips. Why would she use an obfuscation spell if she's above-board? Hekapoo asked herself, Not to mention her ability to use magic at all, without us knowing.

Small slivers of doubt and worry crept into what passed for Hekapoo's heart.

After Bob was left alone in the cave, she turned toward Globgor, gazing at him contemplatively. She didn't really expect much from this MHC; of all the MHCs Bob had dealt with, this one was extraordinarily indifferent, even when it came to their disdain for Monsters. A great deal of the casualties in her proxy war were the direct result of this MHC's lack of concern for the mundane mortal beings they were supposed to be guiding.

The one possible threat to her plans was always an Omnitraxus peering into alternate universes, but, before she killed him, Bob had learned from her Omnitraxus not only how to travel among AUs, but also how to hide within the noise of infinite alternate universes. Her activities weren't masked, like her presence was masked from espying spells in whatever Mewni she was in, but buried to the point where Omnitraxuses were unlikely to randomly encounter them. It was like hiding a needle by moving it around constantly in a stack of a bajillion moving needles.

The only time Bob thought there was a real danger of being discovered was if an Omnitraxus took a variant of her to the Crystal Fields of Interwoven Continuum, where the noise of existence was filtered down to view only her variants. Still, so far, no Omnitraxus seemed to have ever discovered Bob's activities, despite many variants of her being taken to the Fields.

Omnitraxuses had, on occasion, encountered another universe's Omnitraxus, with resulting hilarity. Their arrogance and egos, each one thinking he was the prime guardian of the alternate multiverse, always resulted in the two fighting. Bob had even used one such fight to destroy both their Mewnis.

Bob wasn't certain a given Omnitraxus would act on the knowledge even if he did discover her activities; the job of Omnitraxus was to maintain the alternate multiverse and explain to beings the delicate strands of space-time. What happened within those other universes was up to the free will of the beings within them, not Omnitraxus. As long as she didn't toy with the fabric of space-time itself, Bob thought it likely no Omnitraxus was likely to even notice what was going on until it directly impacted his own universe ... and by then it would be too late.

Bob smiled in smug satisfaction; one more chess piece had been maneuvered into place. It was time to put into play the next piece ... herself.

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As always, stay amazing!