Authors Note: I own nothing. No ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210.

Chapter Forty-One

"Mum I'd like you to meet-"

"Dylan McKay, it's lovely to finally meet you dear." The slight woman leans in and squeezes me tight, then pulls back and looks at her son. "James did you really think the formal introduction necessary? I've seen the Prom pictures from sophomore year." Her eyes turn to me, "it was prom right?"

"It was our Spring Dance."

"Well I've seen those and Bobby's pictures from his visit. My granddaughter also used to talk about you or write about you- I swear for two year's I don't think she could get through three sentences in a row without saying your name." My cheeks rise up even more, I hope one day that is the case again. "And then there is Brandon's stories, and Cindy's, though I have to say James talks about you as much as the twins now. You've become another son to him, he's very proud of how well you are doing in College." My eyes go to Jim as I lift my eyebrow in question. We had finally permanently buried the hatchet before the summer, and since he found out about the twins knowing about his threat he had continued to make amends with them and continued to build our relationship.

His slight blush tells me he's embarrassed, "yes Mum. Iris, Cindy, and I are very proud of him. He's worked very hard to get where he is."

Her eyes grow stern at her son, "throwing that little dig in James is not necessary." I bite my lip to hold in my smirk- it was finally clear who in the family my girl got her fire from. Jim though wasn't throwing a dig, I assume he was acknowledging my work in therapy and how far I had come to restore my relationships.

She looks at me, "I apologise. From the start you were always good for my granddaughter. My son though judged a book by the cover. He was very confused about your earring and hotel living when you first met. I had a crying granddaughter more than once ask me to make him see reason about you over the phone."

"I think it wasn't just the book cover but also the author that threw him. My surname, my father's much deserved at the time horrible reputation really riled him up Mrs Walsh." I look at Jim and smirk, "oh and the fact that I was instantly in love with your granddaughter didn't help either." Jim smiles that amused father smile I have grown use to from him and shakes his head indicating that I was right- my overwhelming love for her didn't help.

"Well your father's reputation probably wasn't comforting to him but your love for his daughter should have been. James has always struggled to see Brenda grow up, in his mind I swear she still runs around in pigtails finding stray dog's."

I can imagine that perfectly, a fierce brunette who would constantly find things that needed healing. "Bren's never wore pigtails since I've known her but stray dogs that's another story."

Mrs Walsh shakes her head in exasperation, "my little rescuer. She hates seeing anything hurt, even if they are just feeling bad about being caught hurting her. She needs more self-protection."

"Mum Brenda is fine, she is very capable of looking after herself." Cindy quickly interrupts and pulls Jim away to greet a new guest before his mother can respond. It makes her eyes turn to me.

"What do you think of my son's assessment?"

"I think Bren is both the strongest and most fragile person I know. She just doesn't let many see both sides."

"You've seen it though, haven't you?" I nod. She gives me calculating eyes, "you've seen that currently she's feeling a little fragile? I noticed at the airport yesterday." I nod again. Her eyes narrow further, trying I imagine to see right inside me, "I bet you even saw it before her brother?"

I don't answer that, Brandon and Brenda's relationship is very important to the both of them. Who knows Bren the best has at times been a point of jealousy with B. I've heard how that jealousy had impacted their relationship at the start of senior year. I would never encourage that comparison again.

"Bren's just got a lot of changes happening in her life, a lot of unknown. She likes to plan, it makes her feel secure but she can't right now. She is waiting on the show. It's a lot of unknown, it's making her feel off balance."

"And I imagine she's holding on to you for that balance- your name is coming up a little more from her. Maybe every fifth sentence." It's another thing I don't respond to, because I desperately hope it's more than that. That I'm more than just what she knows, more than security when she's feeling so adrift. It's then I'm reminded of when I felt like that, after Jack, and how I reached out to her, how she wouldn't let me close because she couldn't be that. She couldn't be my stability and nothing more. She knew it wasn't fair to her, wasn't fair for me to lean on her after everything I had done to her and while I was off pretending with someone else.

She had been right then. If I had her then I would have kept being that person I hated, that person who was guided by insecurity and who was nothing more than Jack McKay's fucked up son. The son no one wanted, who was never good enough.

It makes me wonder if I should be denying her now, forcing her to find her balance without me. Was doing this, getting only part of her currently fair to me? Was me giving her this stability making her less likely to come back to me properly? Was it less likely for her to find her way back to the reality that I was now certain of that me and her belong together after all?

Mrs Walsh picks up on something in my expression as she touches my arm. "Dylan my granddaughter is many things, ignorant is not one of them. She knows her own mind and heart, though sometimes they are the hardest choices one has to accept." She lifts her hand up, "I except a dance later on from you Dear. Now I'm being waved over by my oldest grandson to meet a blonde that has put a remarkable smile on his face. Let's just hope after sixty-seven years I have finally learnt to hold my tongue and ignore the hurt she caused my granddaughter."

Before she moves away I stop her, "Mrs Walsh. Kelly, didn't do it alone. I the own the lions share of it."

"Yes, you do. Though from what I hear you've more than paid the piper and learnt where you are meant to be, I'm just yet to determine if she has as well. Excuse me dear."

Bren had moved back to the table last night at my mothers interruption, she like my mother had also been here most of the day helping out with the party organising. I had been left to my own devices which meant working on my bike. It had resulted in a lot of deep thoughts, a lot of missing my girl. It was currently the longest I had gone without her in days. It made my skin feel itchy and my tie too tight. It made me unsure of what to do in the crowd, knowing I couldn't do what I really wanted.

It didn't help that currently I was the only stag member of our group here besides her, it meant I had no group to hide in as everyone was coupled off tonight. Even Kyle who had come up from San Diego had brought a friend from his sociology class with him. A friend who was currently arguing with Andrea over the potential impact of cell phones on society. Kyle and Brandon we're standing slightly back amused at the fierce discussion. I didn't think B would still be as amused when he sees that his girl's heated debating has grabbed the attention of the bartender a few feet away. The bartender who clearly likes what he sees.

Donna and David were chatting with Celeste and Steve at the table, my mother was laughing with her friends. My girl was standing with client's of Jim's, probably clients who were praising her for talent, and I was on the edge of it all not knowing where I belong. Well I knew where I belonged but I knew I wasn't welcome there in public, especially not in a place this public.

Her hair was in long gentle curls like she had worn at prom, her dress was another slip dress but this one was creamy white and covered in green shamrocks. I'm not sure why she felt she needed luck tonight or if the dress was merely a homage to her family's Celtic roots. I did know I couldn't go and ask her because I knew that my eyes still hadn't lost that look since last night. I knew I was losing my battle in keeping my promise. I knew I was struggling to not ask for something more.

Rubbing the back of neck I decide I need to move away from the Shamrock temptation and to go and grab a coffee inside. It's as I'm pouring my cup in the dining room that I see the front door open and Josh walk in.

His eyes scan the living room and dining room looking I assume for a member of the family to greet. It's then they land on me.

Rather than give a false smile I lift my cup up and take a gulp of coffee. He's in front of me by the time I've swallowed the bitter lukewarm liquid.

"Dylan. I didn't expect to see you here, I still haven't grown used to you being around."

His hand is held out to me and I shake it. He squeezes tighter than normal, I match his strength though I give him a look of amusement at the hyped up masculinity. Josh didn't often act like the typical football jock, it told me that his look of casualness was just that- a look.

"I'm not sure why you wouldn't. Jim and Cindy have welcomed me and my mother into their family, of course I'd be here to celebrate their wedding anniversary."

"Well after last year and Brenda not wanting you around I still find it unexpected I guess to find you both in the same place. It must have been all those months were she literally wanted me, Kyle and Tony as a wall between you and her, and then all those months you never came over to our place over the summer."

His tone was making it sound casual and light, the underlying tension he was sending off was anything but. The referencing to them living together for months this summer making it hard for me to keep a handle on my own tension.

"Hmm well things change. Bren and I are no longer in that moment, she's no longer in the place were she wants you to be between us. You, Kyle or Tony that is." I take another gulp. "I didn't expect you to be here tonight, is Bren expecting you?"

"Why wouldn't I be? It's a big family night and Mr and Mrs Walsh invited me weeks ago."

"Well that was before you and Bren broke up though." The tension in him increases, he didn't want me to know that.

"McKay. I'm not sure what you think you know, but Brenda and I still talk most nights. She just needs some time. My constant travel has been hard on her and she's just feeling a little unsure of us." The tension in him drops and he smile's without joy, I prepare for the blow. "I'm sure you can understand she's just not used to being able to trust that a guy won't cheat on her, that when they say they love her that they are being true, that they can be faithful. I'm sure you can appreciate that she's not used to a relationship that is void of constant drama, a relationship that doesn't require her to constantly be on edge. She just needs some time to get used to having a healthy safe relationship for once."