Star and Marco vs Evil Book 2 Chapter 16: XVI, a star vs. the forces of evil fanfic

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This is a work of fiction portraying alternate universes; all similarities to beings living, dead, or undead are entirely convergent.

XVI

Star and Marco walked hand in hand down the main street of a small Mewmin village on the outskirts of the Groundlands. After a chance encounter with a peasant who spoke about the challenges of daily living that she faced, they'd decided to visit her village as it was part of Marco's duchy as Duke of the Groundlands.

It was a typical Mewmin village, very much like a Medieval village from Earth's past. Marco couldn't help but notice the lack of proper sewage and water systems. The streets were unpaved, with the droppings of domesticated animals fairly common. Marco remembered from history class that all those things contributed to the spread of diseases, especially the lack of clean water. Mewni had some technology, but little of it appeared to be in the hands of regular folk. As Marco spoke to Star about how they might improve the lives of every Mewmin, they were approached by an older gentleman.

"Excuse me, milord and milady," the man said, holding his hat.

"Please don't call me that," Star and Marco replied in unison.

The man was clearly confused. "My apologies, my prince and princess." Star took a breath, but let it out when Marco squeezed her hand to tell her to let it go.

"I am a humble subject, but a curious one," the man continued. "I am confused." The man indicated Star's and Marco's clasped hands. "My princess, aren't you and Prince Lucitor..."

The gentleman formed his left thumb and index finger into a circle, while slowly inserting his right index finger.

Star sighed. "No, we're not engaged, and never were."

"What? Engaged? I'm asking if you and Prince Lucitor are fu..."

Star interrupted, yelling, "Okay, moving on!" and dragged Marco away from the grinning dirty-old-man.

Once out of sight, Marco dropped Star's hand, turning toward her. "What's the matter, Princess Easy-pants, did he hit close to home?"

Star was shocked. She knew Marco cared a lot about beings' perception of her, yet here he was teasing her over essentially being called a hussy.

Cautiously playing along, Star responded, "Step a little closer and I'll show you how I hit."

Marco blew a raspberry, then turned and ran. Star donned a grim smile, then fired a magical beach ball at him, similar to what she conjured on Beach Day. Just as it was about to strike him in the back, Marco spun, dipping down to open a dimensional portal. The ball flew into the portal, exiting at Star's feet, knocking them out from under her. She would have face-planted into the ground had Marco not conjured a mat for her to land on.

"Weeeeaaaak!" Marco taunted.

Star stood, the mat disappearing with an audible poof. "Strawberry Shake Quake!"

Marco dodged all the magical strawberries but the last, conjuring a stinger to impale it. He took a bite from the strawberry. Dissolving the stinger-and-fruit kabob, he said, "My turn," firing a couple of magical shuriken at Star.

Star barely managed to twist out of the way, the magical throwing stars cutting her belt, which fell away. "Not cool!"

"You don't scare me! I fart in your general direction!" Marco turned his butt toward Star, flapping the back of his hoodie and making fart noises.

"You asked for it! Warnicorn Stampede!"

The herd of angry magical Warnicorns lowered their heads and charged. Marco stood smiling, then at the last second dropped out of sight into a portal he opened under his feet. The Warnicorns stopped in confusion, running into each other, then disappeared as Star lifted the spell to prevent any collateral damage.

Down the street, Star saw Marco leaning against a building, laughing. "Come on, Princess Butterbutt, you can do better than that."

For the next nineteen minutes, Star chased Marco, running as they threw spells and taunts at each other. Star had never considered the use of portals as a martial art, but seeing Marco do it, she gradually caught on. Eventually, using a portal, she cornered him in an empty stone building that had served as a barracks during Meteora's War.

Star tackled Marco, and they writhed on the ground as they laughed, doing their best to tickle each other to death. Finally, Star pinned Marco, sitting on his chest with her knees on his arms, planting a big kiss on his lips. Star then stood, helping Marco to his feet. They both felt as happy as in the days they fought Monsters together.

The teens were a disheveled mess. Pointing at each other's hair, the two said, in unison, "Bed head!"

They stared at each other. Together, they responded, "Whoa! We both said ..." they paused, their eyes widening as they realized what was happening, "the same thing!"

Both realized they had spoken in unison earlier, for the first time in months, when correcting the old man. Still uncertain, though, they narrowed their eyes, then exclaimed, together, "Supercalinarcolepticextrahalitosis!"

They circled each other, staring at each other suspiciously, then stopped, Star facing the room and Marco a wall. They suddenly exclaimed, in unison, "Sontarans perverting the course of human history!"

The pair began laughing. They then embraced, sharing a quick, though passionate, kiss.

"Looks like we're back in sync," Star said.

"Yeah. Does this mean your happy self is back?" Marco asked.

"I think so, or at least most of it. I think it also means we're both in the same place again, so wherever I'm at, you're at too, and we go from here together!" Star was downright giddy at the prospect.

"I'm glad ... and on Friendship Thursday, no less." As he gazed lovingly into Star's eyes, Marco's smile began to falter, a scowl slowly crossing his face.

Noticing, Star asked, "What's the matter?"

"This is usually when things fall apart for us. It's as if there's some great author in the sky that delights in writing us being pushed off a metaphorical cliff."

Marco's attention was drawn over Star's shoulder to light appearing on the wall, diffused and moving, like it was shining through a crystal chandelier swaying in wind. He watched it, confused.

Star, for her part, was staring at something over Marco's shoulder. Star said, in a frightened tone, "Marco?" So enraptured with the patterns of light on the wall, the usually attentive Marco completely missed Star's entreaty, and the fearful tone of her voice.

"Marco!" Star said loudly, creating a shield bubble then forcefully turning him to face the room.

A being in a hooded black cloak hovered above the floor, its hands clasped together in front, hidden by long sleeves. The cloak flowed and moved as if in a breeze, moving in time with the shimmering light emanating from the figure like crystalline hell fire. A noise, like the obscene cry of a thousand damned souls, keened at the edge of their senses. The being slowly spread its arms wide, then brought its hands together with a loud crack.

In a flash of brilliant yellow light, the being was gone. "The being in a black cloak," the teens mumbled.

As the pair processed what they had just seen, their hearts began to beat faster, and the rate of their breathing increased. They looked at each other, both asking, "Glossaryck?"

The two nodded to each other, then, staring at where the apparition had been, said, as one, fear evident in their quavering voices, "The Destroyer of Worlds."

Star and Marco again looked at each other, seeking comfort in each other's eyes, but finding little of it. In unison, they said,

"Oh shit."

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Star and Marco stood on the sidewalk outside the Diaz home, waiting for their ride.

The teens had decided they needed a break from royal duties and from their investigation into, and search for, the mysterious cloaked being. They had confessed to Moon and River, telling them of Glossaryck's warning, their trips to alternate universes, the frequency of a cloaked being associated with sad, violent, dystopias, and the cloaked being's sudden appearance in their own reality and immediate disappearance. The monarchs immediately saw the potential threat posed by "Madame Palpatine," as Marco had dubbed the being, so ordered the activation of Butterfly Castle's defenses.

The pair also apprised Janna of the current situation. Janna already had a vague knowledge of a being cloaked in black, from spying on the pair's chronicling to Jej, but lacked a lot of the context due to hearing only summaries. Star and Marco gave her the full story so they could have five more eyes, after she told Tom, on the lookout for "Madame Palpatine."

Star, naturally, wanted to go on an adventure. Emotionally drained by their recent AU trips, both decided that something more mundane might be in order. Star thought she'd like to make up for the "teenager time" she had lost, and since they'd already be on Earth for the Diaz family lunch, decided she wanted to hang at the mall, because "that's what teenagers do." Marco didn't have the heart to tell her she wasn't fourteen any longer, so stifled a groan and agreed.

Star had invited Janna, who stared at Star for a few moments, then took a breath ... at which point Marco had guided Star out of Janna's room.

After lunch, Star had called Jackie to invite her and Chloe to hang, putting her compact phone on speaker so Marco could join in. After Star asked them to go, there was a pause, then Marco heard an "okayyyyy." Jackie asked Chloe, who responded, "Merde! Qu'est-ce qu'on est, quatorze ans?" Jackie said, "She says she'd love to. We'll pick you up in front of Casa Diaz in an hour, okay?"

Marco had learned a few French words from his mother, so was pretty sure the one word he recognized wasn't one of affirmation. Nonetheless, Star had no idea, so had excitedly agreed.

Jackie pulled up in a nice convertible, Chloe riding shotgun. Jackie honked the horn, then called, "Get in, losers, we're going shopping!"

Nineteen minutes later, Marco and Chloe were sitting next to each other on a bench, each holding their girlfriend's purse, watching Star and Jackie try on clothes.

"So," Marco said, attempting to strike up a conversation, "how are you and Jackie getting along?"

Chloe rolled her eyes, saying, "Oh, baise moi!" Marco recognized that particular phrase as one of his mother's favorite French oaths, so made no more attempts to be personable.

Ninety minutes later, Star and Jackie chatted happily while leading bleary-eyed Marco and Chloe down the mallway. Chloe perked up when she spied a Spenser's Gifts. She caught up to Jackie, who giggled at whatever it was Chloe whispered in her ear. Hand in hand, they entered the store.

Star moved to follow, but Marco, knowing what was in the store and not yet so grown up he wasn't embarrassed by it, steered Star instead toward a store that catered to early teens. Inside, Marco spied a pair of earrings he thought Star would like: two large, gold, stars, one inlayed with red, the other, blue. "Our colors," Star gushed, holding out her locket.

Seeing the potential for a sale, the counter monkey walked up. In a posh British accent, he asked, "See anything you like?"

"Yes," Marco replied, "those earrings. How much?"

"Ah, good eye, sir. Six hundred fifty dollars for the pair, including tax."

Marco barely won the internal battle against laughing maniacally and running out of the store. Instead, he said, "Oh, all right, we'll have them."

"Lovely, sir." The man removed the earrings from the case. "Giftwrap?"

"That's not necessary."

"You won't regret it."

"Fine, okay."

"Lovely. Let me just pop it in the box."

As the man placed the earrings in a box and tied it up with gold ribbon, Star whispered to Marco, "He sounds just like Zazu."

As Marco whispered back to Star, "Maybe we should introduce him to Jej," he noticed a group of teens congregate outside the store. They were of mixed genders and ethnicity, all around Marco's age. He recognized them from before he moved to Mewni, and knew them as troublemakers, sometimes violently so.

"Um, we really need to get going."

"Ready in the flashest of flashes."

Finished tying the ribbon, the man reached under the counter, pulling out a bag.

"We really don't need a bag."

"Oh, this is so much more than a bag."

Marco realized the teens had spied him and Star in the store, recognizing them.

"Please hurry."

"Prontissimo."

The man opened a drawer, producing a scoop then depositing several scoops worth of scented, paper, rosebuds in the bag. He then produced a brown stick, running it under his prodigious nose and inhaling sharply.

"What is that?"

"A cinnamon stick."

Marco sighed. "We really can't wait."

"You won't regret it, sir."

"Wanna bet," Marco mumbled.

The man tied a gold ribbon around the top of the bag, closing it. "There. Almost finished."

"What? What are you going to do next, dip it in chocolate?"

"Just one more step."

"No. Done." Marco laid six hundred fifty dollars on the counter, then headed for the exit.

Star smiled broadly at the man, took the package, then put it in her purse. "Thank you. He really is quite sweet."

"Unh hunh." As he turned away, the man mumbled, "I used to be a bloody famous actor, dammit." ⭐

Star ran to catch up with Marco. Marco had hoped the teens would forget about them, but the teens were loitering, waiting for the pair.

"So, blondie," one of them called, "you want a real man?"

"Who would that be," Star replied, pointing at the girl hanging on his arm. "Her?"

Both teens bristled at Star's double insult. The girl walked up to Star, saying, "You think you can take me, bitch?" The teen made the mistake of reaching for Star. Star grabbed the girl's hand, twisting it and bending it back in a quick snap. The girl screeched, doubling over in pain while holding her injured wrist.

"You better get control of your girlfriend," the boy said, menacingly.

"Why? Are you afraid she'll kick your ass next?" Marco inwardly groaned; he knew he shouldn't have said that. He told himself he really needed to regain the control Sensei had taught him.

The boy glowered, but before he could say anything, Marco said, "Star, let's just go." Marco turned away, reaching behind him for Star's hand, saying, "How about we go to ..."

A confused Marco stared at the white tiles of a floor. He could hear beeping to his left and had a massive headache. He realized he was in a bed, lying on his front, his head not on a pillow but facing the floor, supported by multiple elastic bands.

Marco attempted to move, then heard a voice say, "Marco? Are you awake?"

It took several seconds for Marco to register whose voice it was. "Mom? Where am I? What's going on?"

"You're in Echo Creek Methodist Hospital," Angie explained. "You were hit with a spring baton to the back of the head. You were lucky it was a glancing blow, given how much damage it did." Angie paused for a moment, then continued, "I understand you and Star had some sort of confrontation with a group of teenagers?"

"Star!" Marco shouted, immediately wincing from the pain that shot through his head. More quietly, he continued, "Is Star okay? Where is she?"

"She's fine, sweetie. She's currently cooling off in a cell at the county jail. Her bail hearing is tomorrow morning."

"What?"

"I'm afraid Star's in a lot of trouble. She seriously injured those teens, the one that hit you so badly he's still in the intensive care ward. He almost didn't make it; if Moon hadn't rushed here when we called her about Star, he might not have."

Marco didn't know what to say.

Angie got up from the chair where she had been sitting her vigil, then walked over to Marco's bed and took his hand. "Is Star okay? She's always been a bit ... rambunctious, but this was extreme. She clearly was in a rage, so wasn't holding back her Butterfly strength. They were lucky she used only the karate skills you taught her; I shudder to think what would have happened had she used her combat training or her magic. It took Jackie and Chloe literally tackling her to the ground to stop her."

Marco began to drift off again. "I feel really sleepy ... why?"

"Well, you were knocked out, remember. Plus, they're pumping you full of painkillers and anti-inflammatories. Moon applied some healing magic to help with any brain swelling and to close the gash. But you still have a concussion and a cracked skull; Moon says you'll need several more applications to completely knit the bone. The doctors want to keep you here for a while longer for observation, then we can take you home."

Marco nodded, immediately regretting the gesture. As he drifted off, he again thought about the need for professional help. Thanks to this ugly incident, any misgivings he had about more sessions with Doctor North were obliterated. Despite all her gains, Star was still ... unpredictable.

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The next morning, Star stood next to her appointed lawyer in the county courtroom, as her arraignment hearing commenced. Her parents and the Diaz parents sat in the gallery. The judge looked over Star's case file, then turned to the county prosecutor, saying, "Mister Prosecutor?"

"Yes, your honor," the prosecutor responded. "Miss Star Butterfly willfully and viciously ..."

"Your honor, if I may?" a man called, pushing aside the swinging gate to enter the court. He was tall, thin, and wearing a tailored three-piece suit with a red tie. He had a goatee and a ponytail.

"Mister Candle?" Star whispered. "What are you doing here?"

The man ignored Star. "Your honor, Mister Randle, Esquire, counsel for the State Department. May I approach?"

The judge motioned to the lawyer, who approached the bench; the prosecutor and Star's lawyer followed. The judge switched off the court's microphone as he spoke to the three lawyers.

Star fidgeted, shifting her weight from foot to foot as the discussion dragged on. She saw Mister Randle produce a small, manilla, envelope from inside his suit jacket, handing it to the judge. The judge opened it, then read the single sheet of paper inside. When he was finished, he replaced the paper in the envelope, handing it back to Mister Randle.

For several more minutes the conversation between the four jurists continued, with the prosecutor growing agitated. Finally, the judge ordered them all to step away, switching the microphone back on.

"All charges are dismissed, with prejudice. These proceedings are sealed and are not to be discussed with anyone." The judge banged his gavel.

Mister Randle corralled a relieved Star, her parents, and the Diazes, into a meeting room.

"Please allow me to explain what just happened." Addressing Star, Mister Randle said, "When you first came to Earth, one ..." he paused, searching his memory for the name, "Marco Diaz contacted the U.S. State Department. Long story short, the State Department worked with your kingdom's ministers to set up formal diplomatic relations, which makes you part of a foreign delegation. That gives you diplomatic immunity. Furthermore, given your magical powers and, shall we say, your destructive use of them, the Department of Defense declared you a foreign military observer, which is covered by the Official Secrets Act. What it all adds up to is you can't be prosecuted, both because of your diplomatic immunity and because the United States doesn't want a war with you and Mewni."

Mister Randle paused, to let that sink in.

"I didn't know any of that," Star said, looking at her parents.

"We decided not to tell you, and asked that they did not, either. The Diazes also weren't told, although I'd bet that Marco suspected it, and that Janna discovered it on her own. We ... didn't think you were responsible enough to refrain from abusing the privilege. We're sorry."

Star's anger flared, then quickly died. "No, it's okay," she mumbled, as she looked down to avoid her mother's gaze, "you were right."

"Well, anyway," Mister Randle continued, "the local prosecutor is very upset, and, from what I've heard, rightfully so, young lady."

"She was defending her boyfriend!" River interrupted, piqued.

"Yes, she was, but this is not Mewni; in this jurisdiction the degree of force must be proportional to the threat. After the first several punches those teens were no longer a threat, so Star was obligated to stop. She didn't. Had her friends not intervened she would have beaten that boy to death and grievously injured the rest. That is why she was arrested and was to be arraigned for battery in the first degree; she would have been arraigned for voluntary manslaughter had Queen Moon not saved the boy. If that had happened, we would be having a very different conversation right now."

"Madness," River muttered.

"Regardless of your opinion of them, regardless of whether you can be prosecuted, you are all expected to follow our laws when here. We would be well within our rights to expel Star and never allow her to return."

Mister Randle turned his attention back to Star. "My advice to you is go home and stay there for a long while. I understand you're in a relationship with a U.S. citizen and were acting in defense of him, and, frankly, the U.S. does want to keep diplomatic ties with Mewni, so you may return, just don't expect to be warmly welcomed. I strongly suggest you be mindful of your position as an official representative of your world and adjust your behavior accordingly ... and seek professional help."

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Bob stood toward the back of a well-lit cave, taking careful stock of the beings in front of her. She was meeting with her spies and agitators, the beings tasked with disrupting and destabilizing Mewni. She judged them disgusting lowlifes, but necessary ones. For their part, the minions were wary and suspicious of Bob and each other, in the past always being dealt with one on one.

Bob gestured toward a reptilian Monster, almost indistinguishable from the mountain saurians that made up the population of the Jaggy Kingdom.

"Milady," the reptilian hissed, "my bribes to the Jaggy ministers, and spreading of rumors, helped guarantee the vote against Monster citizenship. New Septarsis had already angered and frightened them, and some well-placed false intelligence claiming the Septarians intend to seize the rest of the Jaggy Kingdom has them secretly on a war footing. It won't take much to push them into open conflict."

Bob nodded, then gestured toward a sea Monster.

"Milady," said the sea Monster, its voice muted by the water-breather it wore. "My humblest apologies, but all attempts to bring the Waterfolk Kingdom into the conspiracy have failed. They continue to focus on being a multi-dimensional party destination, to the exclusion of all else."

Bob again nodded. She wasn't surprised; the Waterfolk Kingdom was a sideshow to her machinations on almost all the Mewnis she destroyed. She gestured toward a Mewmin in skins and leather armor.

"Milady," the faux barbarian said, "the Johansen Kingdom will not ally itself with our cause as long as a Johansen stands to assume the Butterfly throne. Even those who crave power see Princess Star's ascension as the mechanism toward that influence and power, rather than war. They would fight, though, should the Monsters invade any Mewmin kingdom, not just their own."

Bob nodded for a third time. Johansen loyalty was strong, and it would take an extreme disaster to break their loyalty to River and Star. Happily for Bob, she knew of a few possibilities, and also knew they could be goaded into fighting for other reasons. She gestured at a Kappa Monster.

"Milady," the Kappa began, "my father and siblings are split on Monster independence from Mewni. Dennis, in particular, seems set against it, and holds enough influence to sway the majority of the family. There is a lot of support for Buff Frog among the citizenry, but in his ... absence, shall we say ... they would be unlikely to continue to support my dad. There is a large minority of citizens, perhaps as much as a third, that will support the Septarians in a war, or even in an insurgency against dad, regardless of their loyalty to Buff Frog."

Bob nodded again. Her own intrigues with King Brudo and the Septarians were proving to be successful. She gestured to the next being, a demon.

"Milady," the demon growled, "the Lucitor Kingdom is a solid ally of the Butterflys. They may not agree politically with many of the Butterfly initiatives, but they are a solid military ally. I was able to put false tales into the ears of several ministers, but this day I am convinced that, though the vote was delayed, the Lucitors will back the Butterflys foursquare on Monster citizenship within the Underworld. I believe their ties with the Butterflys to be unbreakable."

Bob nodded. She gestured to her final minion, a Mewmin wearing the leafy frippery of a Spiderbite subject.

"Milady," the woman said, "the Spiderbites have voted against citizenship, but will go no further toward our goals. They do not have any specific issues with Monsters; the Crown Princess is even dating a Monster. Their only problem is with Globgor, so unless he can somehow be freed and he begins another reign of terror upon them, I do not believe they will align themselves against the Monsters. It's possible they might send troops against a Monster incursion into another kingdom, if asked."

Bob inclined her head. The report was consistent with the results of her own attempts to sway the Spiderbites, on this and many other Mewnis.

"So," Bob said, "I thank you all for your service. It is time to give you your well-deserved rewards."

Bob concentrated, creating between her hands a condensed sphere of magic. To her minions it looked like a solid-gold ball. When enough magic had been channeled into the sphere, she burst it toward the beings before her; they were instantaneously burned to the ground. They had each received their reward, a quick, rather than lingering, death.

Bob felt no remorse. Minions were a dime a dozen, and any pity she might feel was quickly quashed by the knowledge that they were selling out the kingdoms of Mewni, often their very own people, for power or money. Now that she had shown herself, she could move more openly, but where stealth, subterfuge, and anonymity were still required, there were plenty more useful idiots. She, and they, would push forward Bob's plans to destabilize Mewni, to its eventual destruction.

Bob conjured a calendar, contemplating when she would make her next move. She smiled evilly, seeing what day was coming up.

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As always, stay amazing!