Hey everyone, sorry for the delay. With five little girls in the winter, one or more is always bound to be sick and it just so happens that it's been my baby twins. They are okay now however, mommy is very behind on Christmas shopping which has been the priority right now. Thank you for your patience.

Shelby and Cassie went upstairs to put Rachel in her bassinette, watching her sleep for a few minutes while the brunette was collecting her thoughts. Shelby was pretty certain this would happen, a complete meltdown hearing the word daddy however, she was keeping an open mind that it may be okay and her daughter would just tense up a bit like when she had said the word.

Shelby felt awful for her little one knowing she was the one who essentially 'set her daughter up' for a negative reaction but she knew getting Rachel comfortable with the family was important; she also wanted her little one to understand not all daddy's are bad and knew it would take time and exposure no matter how hard certain moments may be.

Cassie knew Shelby was trying her hardest to not blame herself for the reaction Rachel had, but knew it was inevitable because that's who Shelby is; she also knew her girlfriend was beating herself up over the fact Callie was now upset too. That being said, Cassie knew Jake along with Emily, Katherine and Thomas would be able to comfort her and explain a little more.

"This isn't your fault babe," Cassie whispered, wrapping her arms around her girlfriends waist.

Shelby leaned into the touch laying her head on the blondes shoulder, "I know, I just—" Shelby really didn't know how to finish that thought because there were so many running through her head.

"I'm sure Jake is explaining things the best he can and when this little princess wakes up we'll handle things as they come. I bet she'll forget and have a blast playing with her cousins again once she's slept a bit."

"I hope you're right…" Shelby tapered off, not truly believing it but hoping for the best.

Downstairs Callie had settled, her bout of tears didn't last long at all—she was more confused than anything else, along with Charlie. Jake and Emily decided it would be okay to explain a little more to their children about why Rachel had the reaction she did.

They sugar coated most of what the baby went through and explained how the time that Rachel wasn't with Auntie Shelly she was with a daddy who wasn't very nice and because of that, being reminded of him made it really scary for her.

Charlie seemed to understand more than his sister, being that much older he didn't question much once he received an answer to whatever question he asked. Callie on the other hand didn't get why Rachel started crying after she jumped into the foam pit, not realizing she had said 'daddy watch me'.

Not wanting to make Callie feel badly about the fact it was her 'fault', although they were using the word very loosely because in hindsight the little girl didn't know any better, Thomas was the one who stepped up this time for an explanation.

He told her that sometimes hearing certain words can bring up good or bad memories—he used the example of how hot chocolate makes the kids think of the holidays and playing in the snow while hearing the word roller skates brought up a negative memory for Callie because she broke her arm after a big fall.

Callie seemed to understand more after her papa explained it that way—Jake and Emily were relieved he found a way to get through to her but when Callie asked what word Rachel didn't like nobody wanted to answer. Thomas did answer his granddaughters question although he felt badly about it just like everyone else.

Callie started to cry again realizing it was her fault however the adults were quick to reassure the little girl it wasn't her fault because she didn't know. Now that both children do know, they are hoping that when Rachel comes back down they can play again and the baby won't not want to.

Shelby and Cassie came back downstairs and Callie was very upset again not seeing Rachel with them—she didn't understand the baby was just taking a nap and ran into her fathers arms again. Jake and Shelby exchanged a look, he was saying 'it's fine, everything is okay—don't blame yourself' after Shelby essentially asked 'is she going to be okay? Is this my fault?'

Shelby walked over and sat on the bench next to Jake who still had Callie in his arms—she reached out and started rubbing Callie's back, "Hey sweetie."

Callie didn't look at her aunt at first, keeping her face buried in the crook of Jake's neck; that is, until Jake physically pulled Callie back a bit and Shelby gently took the little girls face in her hand. "Callie Mae, this isn't your fault. You did nothing wrong honey—I'm sure mommy and daddy explained some things to you about Rachel right?"

Once Shelby knew she had Callie's attention she started rubbing her arm and Callie nodded then told Shelby what papa explained to her. Shelby was very thankful for her family who all stepped up while she was taking care of her little one.

"That's right sweetie, and papa knows what he's talking about," she winked at him, then smiled back at Callie. The little girl threw herself into her aunts arms and Shelby held her close, kissing her temple and rocking her slowly.

After a few minutes, Callie seemed to be completely back to her typical getting off her aunts lap and joining her brother on the trampoline. Katherine went upstairs and made everyone some lunch, Thomas helping his wife the best he could—he was really just getting out ingredients she needed along with plates, napkins, utensils and such knowing his wife had it covered.

While the family was eating, Shelby heard Rachel over the monitor and rushed up the stairs like she normally did so her daughter didn't wake up nervous or anxious being all alone in the huge bedroom. She smiled seeing Rachel still laying down, her hair all messed up, pacifier still in her mouth, holding her giraffe and clutching her blankie.

"Hi baby girl, did you have a good nap?" Shelby lifted her up and Rachel snuggled into her immediately; the brunette loved how cuddly her daughter was especially after nap time. "Are you my little snuggle bug? Mommy just loves your snuggles so much."

She sat down in the rocking chair, cuddling Rachel close to her body—her little hand was now holding Shelby's shirt as she rubbed her cheek against her mommy, it was almost the same as rubbing blankie against her cheek but mommy had wrapped the blanket around her body.

After a little while of snuggling, Shelby told Rachel how her cousins were still there and eating lunch with her aunt, uncle, nana, papa and of course her Cassie. Rachel didn't seem to be phased in the least that they were there, either not remembering what happened or not being affected by it anymore.

Shelby knew Rachel froze at the doorbell, or other things like loud noises and such, often times crying for a bit then bouncing back to her little happy self. She assumed her little one would do the same thing about everything that happened before the baby's nap.

A quick diaper change later, the mother daughter duo were making their way down the stairs hearing laughter coming from the kitchen. It wasn't too loud, just like all the other times the family was together—besides the children being together, the Corcoran bunch wasn't very loud at all which was great for the baby who still wasn't used to the whole family thing yet.

One day though, Rachel would love every minute of being with their family and if she was anything like her mommy, would be one of the loudest ones there while singing and dancing around.

The kids had finished eating and Shelby now had Rachel in her arms cleaning off her little hands and face—she had managed to get pizza absolutely everywhere but nobody minded one bit. The baby seemed to forget the fact she heard the word daddy, and was back to her typical self; at least, the typical self she was around new people.

"I think we need to get you a new shirt, huh love bug?" Shelby smiled, looking down at her daughter. If she wanted to play more, which Shelby knew she would, a new shirt would be required.

"Me pay mommy, no si-rt," Rachel frowned, not liking the fact she wouldn't be able to play immediately. She tried extremely hard to sound out shirt, however like most words she struggled to properly pronounce them or certain letters of them.

"We'll be so quick baby," Shelby assured her daughter, hoping to prevent any further meltdowns. That being said, her meltdown earlier was completely justified and something Shelby saw coming—not being able to play for a few minutes would be okay and typically the baby had no problem with changing.

"We don't want you to get pizza sauce on your toys right?" Shelby asked, knowing that would do the trick.

Rachel's eyes went wide and she shook her head no immediately, because in her little mind, that would be one of the worst things ever. "Me si-rt mommy. Me do," she agreed.

Emily watched in awe at how amazing Shelby is with Rachel—she's known how wonderful of an auntie she is with her children and the other nieces and nephews however, having your own child is completely different especially with everything the little one has gone through.

Shelby excused she and Rachel from the table and went up the stairs to her nursery where they picked out another shirt, Shelby giving Rachel the power to choose even though they were 'in a rush'. A rush they weren't in at all, but Shelby had to give her daughter the impression they were still going 'so quick' just like she said downstairs.

One new long sleeve onesie and fresh diaper later, they were back downstairs. The baby had decided she didn't want pants and although Shelby normally put pants on her daughter especially around company, she wasn't going to push it.

Rachel had already experienced a major heartbreaking episode earlier and Shelby wasn't going to force her daughter into something she didn't want—today, in this moment it was pants, so pantless was fine for now.

Shelby knew the cousins wouldn't mind—in fact, Charlie used to only want to wear pants and no shirt for the longest time and Callie used to refuse clothes all together leaving her in just a diaper or pattered undies until she was about three and a half almost four, (at least while they were indoors and at home or any of the Corcoran residences that is).

All of the Corcoran children along with their own children went through a period of time where they only wanted to wear diapers, only a shirt and diaper, or some strange combination that only made sense to them, so this would be nothing new. Rachel was just following the Corcoran way even though she didn't know she was doing it.

The only difference is the fact that Rachel is so small, and it shows even more without clothes on—however, you choose your battles when you become a parent and Shelby knew everyone would understand.

The adults, minus Cassie, held back their gasps when Shelby came back into the kitchen with a clean baby in her arms while the kids were just happy to have their cousin downstairs again so they could play with her.

While Rachel was napping earlier, the kids talked about how fun it was to have a baby cousin seeing as they aren't that much older than Addie's kids—after things were explained a little more, Charlie and Callie both agreed that they would show Rachel how much fun it is to have cousins which made the adults very proud of them.

Right now though, the adults, and even the grandparents who have seen Rachel the most were all choking back tears, the men holding back their anger at the Berry's and trying to act like the baby wasn't affecting them the way she truly was.

It's not her fault at all, it's just…nobody was expecting it. Emily had already spoken briefly to Jake while Rachel was napping and their children were playing on the trampoline about the fact she didn't know how Shelby was managing when you can see the baby's ribs through her onesie.

Jake agreed with his wife however, he knew just like Emily that it would take time for Rachel to start really gaining weight—it did make them both extremely sad though. Jake was also extremely angry about the whole thing, he could never imagine not feeding his children and providing them with everything and anything they needed.

Shelby sensed the mixed reactions and spoke up to break the tension, "Okay, who's ready to go play?"

Rachel squealed in her mommy's arms, "Me mommy me pay me pay!"

Charlie and Callie both said, 'I want to' although they were much quieter with their responses than the baby was. Now that they understood a bit more about their baby cousin, it was easier to react certain ways.

They also didn't think much about how little she is because they knew she was a baby and babies are small—oh the benefits of still being a child, their innocence is adorable and completely intact. It's true, Jeremy's girls understood more than Jake's but that's only because they were already in high school and more mature.

"Okay love bug, let's go play," Shelby announced, bouncing Rachel slightly in her arms as Charlie, Callie and Emily followed her into the playroom.

Shelby could tell her daughter was doing really well for her with accepting the two new aunts she's met, and although she hasn't given hugs to anyone besides nana and papa by herself yet, she hasn't protested when Shelby gave her siblings and their spouses hugs when they left and her nieces.

It will be much easier when giving Charlie and Callie hugs as they aren't too tall, so it will be more of Shelby hugging them with Rachel in her arms. The mother is concerned about Addie's visit though because instead of an additional woman or aunt coming over, it will be a male which Rachel doesn't do too well with when she doesn't know them.

Addie's husband Greg is a big teddy bear however, just like papa, Jeremy and Jake—Rachel doesn't know that or understand that yet and won't until he is in her house. Shelby decided not to think about that right now and focus on the present with her daughter, niece and nephew while talking with Emily.

Cassie was also in the playroom now while the other adults were doing gosh knows what. Shelby assumed her brother and father were watching TV while Katherine made some tea or something for dessert which she loved to do when around her grandchildren.

The rest of the day went by really well—especially because Charlie and Callie remembered how sad their baby cousin was when she heard the word daddy, so neither said it. If they wanted Jake's attention, they'd walk over to be next to him then talk to him that way.

Shelby felt badly knowing her niece and nephew were changing their behavior specifically for her daughter—she didn't feel this way when it was her parents, siblings or friends because they are adults and everyone knew what happened to her daughter, but these were children.

Emily must have sensed it as Shelby watched Callie run over to Jake for the third time and Emily went over to her, gently rubbing her back, "It's okay Shelly, they are okay. I promise you, both my children are more than capable of not saying d-a-d-d-y while understanding what your father explained to them both."

Shelby looked away from Callie and into Emily's eyes seeing the sincerity, however, it didn't make her feel any less guilty. Then she looked over at Charlie who was showing Rachel how to play with the race track even though neither she or Cassie could convince the baby to play with it, Charlie was making headway—that made her feel less guilty, seeing the smile on her little ones face, the mostly relaxed body language, and hearing the squeal when one of the cars would go off the track.

"I'm so sorry, I just, I'm trying so hard with…everything," Shelby said, looking up to keep her own tears away. Come on Shelby, don't cry—your daughter is right there and she won't understand! Shelby repeated the same mantra until she was able to pull herself together.

"Honestly Em, I don't know how to help her heal to a certain extent…" Shelby trailed off not really knowing where she was going with what she was saying—although at the same time, she knew exactly what she was referring to.

Shelby could help her daughter heal physically, each day she was getting stronger and although the weight wasn't piling on yet, it would eventually. Shelby could teach her daughter all the things she didn't know yet because those two assholes didn't do jack shit besides cause her emotional pain.

However, that's what Shelby was having a hard time with—the emotional pain that caused her to cry, that fear to be present in her eyes, to shake, her little pouty lip to quiver, and much more Shelby witnessed in her daughter all too often…

"I know honey," Emily said softly, relaying that although she didn't know from personal experience, she knew what Shelby was trying to say. "It will take time, and she's with you now. You're the best person for that adorable little love to be with, Shelly. You're beyond patient, you're kind, you love fiercely, you'll do anything in your power to protect her from whatever you can—she needs you, and eventually, she'll come to realize that we all love her so very much as well."

Shelby closed her eyes for a minute to compose herself once again—Emily and Vanessa were always in her life it feels like seeing as they went to school with her brothers; they were like another set of sisters and Greg was like another brother however, the girls always had this special connection.

Emily in particular could always be super impartial yet loving when needed, while Vanessa would be there to give her a slight push when needed. Then there was Addie, her lifelong best friend who was always there to do both whenever needed and so, so much more.

"Thank you," Shelby whispered, not being able to say more at the moment. She was so incredibly grateful for her sister-in-laws—they were absolutely amazing in every way.

Emily gave her a side hug quickly as Rachel was coming in hot towards her mommy and Emily knew Rachel wasn't a huge fan of anyone besides Cassie being that close to her mommy which was too adorable for words.

She remembers when Charlie and Callie looked at any and everyone like that with her and couldn't help but miss it sometimes especially because Callie is such a daddy's girl and Charlie was now 'too cool' for all the lovey dovey unless they were around family.

Rachel all but threw herself at Shelby who caught her easily, lifting the baby up into her lap, "Hi love bug," Shelby smiled, pressing a kiss to her daughters temple. She saw Rachel rubbing her eyes and knew her little one was once again tired which didn't surprise her one bit seeing as she's had a big day today.

"Are you sleepy baby girl?" Shelby asked, and Rachel nodded her little head while snuggling closer to her mommy. She really wanted 'mommy's milp' and some time with just mommy—even though she liked playing with what mommy said were her cousins, she couldn't help it and didn't know how to explain that out loud.

Mommy must have understood though because she seemed to always know exactly what was going on in her little head and never got mad at her for it—there have been many times even when it's just Cassie in the house where Rachel wants time with only mommy and it's always okay; nobody ever gets mad at her when she doesn't know how to express what she's feeling, or wants to be alone with mommy and that makes the baby feel so incredibly safe.

The baby lightly tugged on the front of her mommy's shirt and Shelby knew they'd be excusing themselves for a little while. After letting Emily and Cassie know where they were heading, Shelby carried Rachel upstairs and right into her bedroom as the baby started to cry.

Shelby knew nothing was truly wrong, Rachel was just overwhelmed and overstimulated by everything that has happened today. "I know baby, I know. You've had such a big day haven't you?" Shelby said while lifting up her shirt and unclipping her bra. "It's okay, mommy's got you. There you go," she smiled, watching her daughter latch on.

"Shh, shh, shh, you're okay love bug—I think it's time for a little break from everything huh?" Shelby realized her daughter truly wasn't paying attention to what she was saying and that was okay. If the mother was being honest with herself, she felt drained from the day as well so she couldn't imagine how her little one was holding up.

She had managed to play with her cousins for over four hours, eat lunch with them and take a little nap which was such progress considering it was extremely different than 'playing' with Grace, Ella and Emma due to the fact they were older and understood more.

Shelby wasn't sure if Jake and his family would be there for dinner that night if Rachel went down for another nap—they had broken the habit of three naps a day back in New York even though it wasn't a bad thing or a problem in any way, it just happened; they were now down to two however, one of her naps today happened because she was so overwhelmed by hearing the word daddy.

Either way, nana and papa were staying the night again which would be good for Rachel knowing she loved having them there. Plus, the cousins would be back—they would have plenty of time to spend with their baby cousin, just maybe not today. It would honestly be up to Jake and Emily seeing as the kids were completely content to be at Auntie Shelly's especially with the trampoline, foam pit and play room, not to mention nana's cooking/baking.

Shelby didn't realize the baby monitor was on in the kitchen as she had left it there when Rachel woke up during they were eating lunch, and started to sing. Jake had now taken the kids downstairs with Thomas so it was just the women in the kitchen and Katherine immediately stopped talking when she heard her daughter singing to the baby.

Shelby looked down at her daughter, wiping away the excess tears on her little cheeks and knew she was on her way to dreamland.

When the tears are rolling down, like a river to the ocean

And there's no one else around, you won't question my devotion.

Everybody, needs somebody, and you got me

You know that I know that you know that—

The three women in the kitchen all had tears welling in their eyes as Shelby started singing, they could hear not only the sincerity in her voice, but the fact Shelby meant every word she was singing. Honestly, everyone was still in awe she could sing so dang well even after all these years.

I'll be there for the highs and lows, give you mine if your heart gets broke

By your side when you're all alone, I will be there

When you're down, *stuck in your head*, things got tough and you had enough

When you fall down I'mma pick you up, I will be there.

I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there for you—

By now, Katherine was crying freely, Emily wasn't far behind her while Cassie was trying to maintain some composure although she didn't know why. Maybe it was the fact she knew her best friend, lover, and her everything would need her once the baby was completely asleep, or…who the hell knows really.

When you're down, *stuck in your head* things got tough and you had enough

Woah, I'll be there, I'll be there for you.

When your heart could use a break, and it's too broken to be open,

I'll be patient, I will wait, until you're ready to be open.

Everybody, needs somebody, and you got me,

You know that I know that you know that—

I'll be there for the highs and lows, give you mine if your heart gets broke

By your side when you're all alone, I will be there.

Woah, I'll be there, I'll be there for you.

Things got tough and you've had enough…

I will be there… eh, eh, I will be there for you. I will be there for you all of the time, yeah—

Everyone heard Shelby's voice crack and Cassie finally broke like Katherine and Emily; she knew just like they did that Shelby was crying which meant Rachel must have fallen asleep during the song however she didn't stop singing. It was almost as if she needed to keep pushing through the song—even while Rachel slept, Shelby needed her daughter to know she was and would always be there no matter what.

Down down on your luck, you had enough, I will be there for you.

Shelby wiped her own tears and pressed a lingering kiss to her daughters temple, holding her a little closer, reveling in just being there. She knew how hard it was for her daughter today and couldn't let her own feelings interfere right now—when Rachel went to bed tonight, then and only then would Shelby completely break down.

The best thing that ever happened to Shelby was in her arms, but there was still so much Shelby felt guilty for and only so much she could truly do to help her little one right now. When she was more comfortable with people in general, a meeting with someone who could help or give Shelby some suggestions would be necessary, however now wasn't the time.

"I love you so much baby girl—you are my everything and I will do absolutely anything I can to make sure you have the best life you possibly can. I know you're working so hard each and everyday to absorb everything I'm teaching you along with Cassie, nana and papa—and honestly, I could not be more proud of you love bug. You've come so far and I know we will get through this and everything else that comes our way together."

Shelby looked up to stop the tears from falling then continued, "I hope more than anything that one day, you won't even remember the times where you get so afraid, fearful from what you've gone through—I'm so sorry I failed you my sweet little angel. If only I could go back in time, trust me baby I would in a heartbeat to save you from all the pain you've already endured in your little life. I made you a promise the first night I held you in my arms and I plan on keeping that promise forever—you will always be loved, protected, happy and safe with mommy. I love you so much my perfect little one, so, so much."

While Shelby continued to rock Rachel, cherishing their time together that they clearly both needed, Katherine, Emily and Cassie composed themselves a bit. That is, until they heard Shelby's voice crack again telling Rachel how she was sorry she failed her—Katherine had stood up and Cassie knew she was going to go upstairs and 'set her daughter straight' because she didn't fail Rachel, she had no idea what was happening so Cassie and Emily quickly pulled her back.

"Don't," Cassie shook her head. "Right now, Shelby doesn't know we heard any of that—and no matter how many times each of us tells her she hasn't failed Rachel, we know it won't work, at least not yet. I want to run up there just as much as you do but we can't."

"Cassie is right, Katherine. You know how Shelly is, she won't want to hear it—just give her this time with her daughter and know that you'll be here tonight when she needs you most."

That got to Katherine, knowing Emily had her there—Shelby will come to her later, and it will be when she knows for certain Rachel is down for the night, not just a nap that could be shorter due to the fact this is her third of the day.

"Okay, okay," Katherine surrendered. "I'm going to go make some tea, do you two want any?" She asked, and the women nodded knowing right now, Katherine had to distract herself—this is how she operated, so they let her go while exchanging their own matching frowns for Shelby and Katherine.

This has honestly been so hard on the entire family but Shelby was obviously the most affected by everything seeing as it's her daughter—not to mention Rachel was suffering as well, not all the time anymore which was great because it shows the progress she was making, but enough for it to still be extremely hard for Shelby especially.

Shelby had been upstairs for about 45 minutes now and assumed the kids were downstairs having a blast, which they were, and the women were most likely talking about gosh knows what because that's what they do. Typically Shelby would love to do the same thing however, right now she needed just a few more minutes with her snuggle bug.

Selfishly, Shelby held on that much longer, that much tighter, that much closer because she was all up in her feels and needed to compose herself before going downstairs. She was also tempted to lay down herself with Rachel because she was honestly exhausted.

Knowing her family wouldn't mind and Rachel most likely wouldn't be asleep for that long, Shelby did just that.

She took off her shoes, took off her shirt to get that wonderful skin to skin contact with her little angel, pulled back the covers and carefully laid in bed—Rachel was still asleep laying on her chest, reclaimed what was hers and Shelby let her eyes shut after placing one more kiss to the top of her daughters head.

"I love you so much baby girl, sweet dreams angel."

And just like that, both mother and daughter were sleeping peacefully.

shorter chapter but don't worry, it will pick up where I left off and then start to speed up a bit. After meeting Addie's family, I have a few more things I'd like to touch upon before jumping in time slightly. Don't worry, not that far ahead.

Song: I'll Be There Gabriela Bee (changed lyrics have a * around them)