Happy Holidays everyone! I'm sorry it's taken me so long for an update; this is a little filler and I promise more to come after the busy holiday season. Having all our girls home along with my wife taking time off from work means tons of family time.
Shelby had a long conversation with Cassie and her parents that night and realized she was holding on to so much guilt it was becoming unhealthy. Although Shelby never let Rachel see how upset and guilty she felt, she herself knew that holding onto all these emotions wasn't doing her daughter any good.
If Shelby was being honest with herself, she realized when singing to Rachel how much the guilt was weighing on her and how she needed to let it go. Talking with her parents and Cassie only solidified what she knew—then again, most things are easier said than done.
That won't stop Shelby though, once she sets her mind to something, she goes after it headfirst.
Katherine and Thomas were relieved to hear Shelby figuring everything out herself while having Cassie there by her side, who was also extremely thankful her girlfriend was coming around. Then again, if any of them put themselves in Shelby's shoes they would feel the same way so it's not as if her feelings weren't valid.
If anything, Shelby's feelings were completely valid—especially after learning about the contract being forged which is truly what set her off to begin with. Of course her baby being out on the street and left there did nothing to help all the emotions felt but hearing about the contract sent her over the edge.
Shelby felt much better, as if a weight was physically lifted off her shoulders, after the conversation she had with her parents and Cassie—she didn't need permission per say to let go of the guilt she was harboring but hearing them all agree meant she didn't need to carry it around and that really helped her.
There will always be days or certain moments where the guilt will come flooding back but there is truly nothing Shelby can do about most of it and can focus on moving forward with her little one. If speaking with a therapist who specializes in children will help Rachel in the long run, that's what she will do; for now though, she's going to take it one day at a time.
Rachel was extremely happy the next morning seeing as nana and papa were still there—she loved spending time with them. They made plans to come over for dinner a few times this week which will be great and something they've done since the girls and Rachel moved to Akron, along with having one or more of the siblings come as well.
Shelby and Cassie also looked into some more outings to take Rachel on this week—it was still cold outside so they needed to find indoor activities and Shelby wasn't quite sure Rachel was up for any type of play group yet knowing other kids will be there, it will be extremely loud, and more than likely other dads that take their children not just moms.
They always seem to find something to do though, which is a trait that makes Shelby and Cassie such a great team. Even if it's going to a little café just to get out of the house, Rachel seemed to love it as long as mommy was right there with her.
Thursday afternoon Shelby was walking down the stairs after putting Rachel down for her nap and heard the doorbell ring. She paused for a minute to make sure the baby didn't wake up before remembering they had soundproof walls—even so, she wanted to make sure Rachel stayed asleep while Cassie went to answer the door.
The blonde looked through the side window and saw a woman standing there, seemingly harmless—to be honest, due to the cold weather and the fact they get to their cars from the garage, neither Shelby or Cassie have paid much attention to any of the neighbors.
And if you think about it, considering this woman was bundled up with a little gift basket in her hands, Cassie assumed she must live close by unless Shelby somehow knew her—that being said, their address was unlisted and Cassie assumed Shelby would have mentioned someone coming over even if she herself didn't know her.
Cassie swung open the door and smiled. "Hello..." she said tentatively. Cassie heard Shelby coming down the stairs and figured she would come over to the door as well letting her know if she knew the woman or not.
"Hi! I'm so sorry for the late 'welcome to the neighborhood'," the fellow blonde said. "Normally I would have been over much soon—" the word died in her throat as she saw Shelby appear next to Cassie.
Shelby smiled because she knew that look, as did Cassie. Instead of making a big deal about it, due to the fact it truly wasn't, Shelby casually stood next to Cassie hoping the woman would continue speaking.
"Oh my gosh, you're Shelby Corcoran!" the woman exclaimed, clearly beyond excited and star struck.
"I am," the brunette smiled. "It's very nice to meet you…" Shelby held out her hand and waited for the woman to introduce herself.
"Oh where are my manners. I'm Judy Fabray, I live across the street. I was just telling, I'm sorry I don't know your name…"
"Cassie," the blonde supplied. "And why don't you come inside, it's freezing out there today."
The three women stood in the entryway now, much warmer seeing as the cold wind wasn't blowing anymore and Judy was able to compose herself a bit. Well, the best she could being in the presence of a star who she has adored for years now.
"I'm sorry—typically I'm more put together than this. As I was telling Cassie, I would have been over sooner to welcome you to the neighborhood but, long story short, my girls and I just got back from a little vacation."
Shelby and Cassie could tell there was more to the story but didn't push for any information. If Judy wanted to share more, she was more than welcome to however neither would force it out of her.
Instead, Cassie said, "Please come in," leading them into the kitchen after Judy handed over the gift basket and they thanked her. "How old are your girls?"
Shelby made them some coffee and they sat down at the breakfast nook, Judy took the time to answer the question while the brunette was making three cups and looking around at the gorgeous house. All of the homes in their little community were brand new and fairly similar but everyone has their own taste and the decorations were beautiful, elegant and just perfect to her.
"12 and 3," Judy made a face then added, "I know it's a large age gap. My now ex husband thought we had the perfect life, then I fell pregnant again and something in him changed. We just finalized the divorce hence why I took the girls away for a little while. I apologize, I'm probably oversharing."
Cassie and Shelby waved her off, "Don't apologize. I'm sorry for everything you've been going through."
The blonde nodded in agreement, thanking Shelby for the coffee and placing her hand on top of the brunettes. It was something they typically did and Cassie didn't think anything of it until she saw Judy's eyes flicker down to their intertwined hands but Judy was quick to reassure.
"I know I'm wearing this cross," Judy held her necklace in her hand briefly, "however I believe everyone should be able to love whomever they want to." The way she phrased it sounded as if Judy's ex husband didn't feel the same about that so the women seemed to be relieved he wasn't around anymore.
It definitely made Cassie feel better considering not everyone is supportive of their relationship. It was super nice of the woman to bring over a gift basket to welcome them, especially after going through a divorce with two little girls, but if she had a problem with them being together, that would have be an issue.
Clearly, it wasn't which worked out for all of them. Not knowing the other neighbors and how they felt about their relationship was another thing considering they didn't know them but honestly, neither woman cared that much because they are happy and at the end of the day, it's all that matters.
They talked for a while getting to know each other—Judy, like most everyone else, wanted to know about Shelby's time on stage but they didn't talk about it very long. They moved onto talking about the girls which led to how Rachel was truly doing seeing as Judy had followed along the best she and anyone else could have in the news. Not wanting to go into it completely, Shelby touched upon certain elements and left a lot out.
A playdate with Quinn the fellow little three year old sounded like a great time and Judy seemed very okay with the fact it wouldn't be right away. Currently Quinn was playing with her aunt while Frannie was at school leaving Judy with the perfect window to step away for a little while and speak with Shelby and Cassie.
Shelby thought it was great that once Rachel understood more about playing with others who weren't cousins and little ones her age, she'd have someone right across the street—apparently there was another little girl who was also three that lived two houses down named Santana; Judy was very close to Maribel and Carlos Lopez, the little girls parents along with their three older boys.
Santana was the little princessa of their house, and Frannie went to school with Carlos Jr or CJ as he liked to be called not to be confused with his father. Judy knew the immediate neighbors and the women were very happy to hear they were surrounded by what sounded like great people. It was also great to have two little ones Rachel's age right there as well.
After about an hour of visiting, Judy excused herself to go back home stating Quinn was probably looking for her by now—they exchanged numbers and Shelby said she would call when Rachel was a little more settled hoping to be able to set up a playdate.
Three is a bit young but with so much to play with together or even separately just in their house, it would be great—it would also be amazing for her to be around others as much as she can be especially with them all being the same age; definitely not the same size, or on the same 'level' for lack of a better word, but all being three.
"Thank you so much for the beautiful gift basket," Shelby commented as they waved goodbye.
"It was my pleasure. Have a great rest of your day," Judy replied. Cassie and Shelby made sure she got back across the street and into her house before turning around and going back into their own kitchen to actually open the basket.
Inside was a nice bottle of wine, some expensive chocolates, a few different yummy smelling candles, a delicious looking trail mix, along with some little kitchen essentials which were cute and decorative.
"Wow, this was really nice of her," Cassie gushed, loving everything that was in the basket and thinking very highly of the woman who genuinely seemed as if she would become a good friend of theirs.
Yes, she was star struck in the beginning, but clearly she wasn't expecting it to be Shelby on the other side of the door so it was very nice. She didn't seem to be one to use Shelby in any way which is something the brunette was always very weary of when making new friends.
"She seemed very sweet, patient, and kind," Shelby said, wrapping her arms around Cassie and laying her head against the blondes shoulder.
Cassie rubbed Shelby's back and kissed the side of her head, "She did. It will be nice having other little ones around along with a friend in Judy. Even though she's a bit older, she seems very sweet."
They found out while talking that Judy started having children later in life making her closer to Jake's age while Maribel and Carlos were closer to Jeremy's age. That didn't actually matter to either Cassie or Shelby—what they did care about was protecting Rachel, not having people use Shelby for her fame, forging fake friendships just because of who she is, and hopefully finding true friends.
The next thing either woman knew, Rachel was stirring and Shelby ran back up the stairs. They didn't realize Judy had been there for so long but it was fine with the women—hopefully they made a friend in Judy and would meet Maribel and Carlos as well at some point so the girls could play together.
Shelby knew what it was like having siblings much older than you, which Quinn and Santana did, meaning they most likely didn't play together that often—especially Santana with three older brothers.
And from the way Judy described her girls, it sounded like Frannie didn't play with Quinn as often as Addie played with Shelby when she was little so it would be good for all three of them.
Either way, it sounds amazing knowing there are two fellow three year olds who will hopefully become close with Rachel one day—they will most likely end up in the same school one day as well so getting them familiar with each other sooner rather than later will be great so they can already have that established friendship.
As Shelby opened the bedroom door she saw Rachel starting to sit up on her knees in the bassinette, hair absolutely everywhere, Raffy snuggled in her arm while still suckling away on her pacifier. Shelby couldn't help but smile at how freakin' adorable her little angel was.
"Hi baby girl," Shelby said, approaching the bassinette. As she picked her baby girl up she asked, "Did you have a good nap peanut?"
In response, Rachel rubbed her little head against Shelby's chest and snuggled in further. "You're a little snuggle bug aren't you?"
Shelby sat down in the rocking chair and rubbed Rachel's back letting her baby girl wake up a bit—she always took longer to wake up from her naps which was fine by Shelby knowing she'd get more cuddles.
Shelby decided a book wasn't an option as she had already sat down so she started to sing while rocking—Cassie and Shelby decided not to mention the little girls that live next to them to Rachel yet due to the fact Addie was coming over with her little family in two days and that would be too much for her.
Twenty minutes later, they were all downstairs in the playroom having their typical everyday tea party—honestly, it was probably Rachel's favorite thing to do besides jumping on the trampoline. She was warming up to the foam pit as long as Cassie was in there to catch her but playing with her toys took up a lot of their day.
Learning toys were turning out to be very beneficial as Rachel's speech and interactions were getting better each day. She knew most all of her colors and shapes, she could easily put together puzzles, stack her blocks, knew how to count to ten, some letters of the ABC's however those were still difficult—and slowly but surely she was getting better at using a fork and spoon but preferred eating anything and everything with her hands anyway so Shelby just let it happen.
Eventually they'd need to work on actually using silverware but right now wasn't the time—just like potty training, they would get there in time. Shelby decided to focus more on Rachel's speech and catching her up to where other little ones her age would be while having fun in the process.
Not to mention, going on outings that Rachel had never been on before which meant a lot to Shelby who wanted to give her the best life possible. And to be fair, not all three year olds were potty trained or ate with a fork or spoon so those were the last things on Shelby's mind.
Saturday was now here which meant Addie was coming over with her children to meet the baby—the cousins were so excited to see their Auntie Shelly and meet their little baby cousin but were a little apprehensive because Jake had informed Addie of what had happened when Callie said daddy and knew how it effected everyone involved.
"Are you excited to meet some more cousins today baby?" Shelby questioned as she pulled up Rachel's little pair of jeans. Gosh does she look cute in her long sleeve onesie that tucks right into the cutest pair of jeans. So cute yet so tiny Shelby thought to herself.
"Eah, me mommy, me!" Rachel exclaimed, bouncing up and down on her changing table.
"Who is coming over today, can you tell mommy?" Shelby asked, knowing her angel knew who was in the picture she had pulled up earlier in the week.
That was the easiest way for Shelby to teach Rachel who was who in the family—pictures made a great way of showing Rachel who would always love her, protect her, and be there for her and one day, Rachel would realize that.
"Manna," Rachel started out, seemingly strong even though the name wasn't coming out the way she truly wanted it to. Then came her thinking face followed by, "Wiwee, an Amfimy."
Rachel was so confident it made Shelby's heart swell with pride—she was trying and that's all Shelby could ask of her. The names sounded so cute too which made it all the better, who could not fall in love with any and everything the baby said and did.
"You're right baby, Amanda, Lily and Anthony. Auntie Addie is coming with them too but Uncle Greg has to work right?" They had a long discussion about Uncle Greg because in Rachel's little mind, he's a boy, and she didn't know he wouldn't yell or be mean to her like her daddy was.
Greg was very upset he couldn't join his family seeing as he would be the only one in the family who had yet to meet the baby but knew his time would come. Unfortunately, when work calls you need to go—and being the owner of a company or 'the big boss' as Anthony likes to say, you are occasionally called in on the weekends.
Knowing Greg wasn't coming honestly had Shelby a bit relieved however, she quickly replaced her relieved feeling with guilt for thinking that at all. It wasn't that Shelby didn't want to see him because honestly, Greg was such a huge teddy bear it's just that, it is one less thing for Shelby to worry about when three little kids were coming as well.
Shelby also knew Greg could take some time off during the week and come over with Addie while the kids were in school which would probably make things easier on the baby so she wouldn't be so overwhelmed.
Addie's kids were obviously the youngest which meant they would be the loudest, craziest, and most stimulating out of all the cousins. Charlie and Callie were pretty quiet even when all eight cousins got together and obviously Grace, Emma and Ella were quieter due to their age so this would be the first real test of having other kids to play with.
Soon enough, Cassie was opening the door to find three smiley kids and one happy aunt. Addie was always happy to see Rachel and even though Rachel still seemed to like Auntie Lexie a tiny bit more than her, she truly loved Auntie Addie too.
Amanda was the same age as Callie however, having two younger siblings to be crazy with prompted her crazy side, as well as being Addie's mini and Addie was the crazy Corcoran. She always has been and always will be—out of all five children, she was the wild card as was Amanda.
Lily was typically off in her own little world, bouncing around to the 'music in her head' is what everyone liked to say—she was absolutely adorable in all ways and the calmest out of Addie's children.
And then there was Anthony; he was such a boy in every sense of the word. He loved to wrestle, play sports, get dirty, make messes everywhere, and was definitely the loudest.
He and Amanda get into it the same way Addie still does with Jake. Katherine always said to her she was bound to end up with crazy kids to test her the same way Addie and Jake tested her; and man was momma right—she got those crazy kids and was tested daily it felt like.
Addie was hoping her children were on their best behavior however, there was only so much you could explain to a 7 year old boy about Rachel's past; 9 and 11 weren't much different so Addie was in the most difficult spot when explaining things to her children. She and Greg did the best they could though and knew her parents being there would also help.
"Hey everyone!" Cassie smiled and then felt her body surrounded by all three children.
Three voices were suddenly heard, "Cassie!"
The blonde briefly looked up and smiled at Addie and they exchanged a lower volume hello to each other as Cassie hugged and kissed each of the children in front of her.
Rachel had yet to turn her head to look at everyone—for some reason she already didn't like this and clung onto mommy the same was she did at the doctors office, when Amanda and Olivia first came over, and many times in the beginning of being with mommy.
It made Shelby a bit fearful for her daughter feeling a tiny body shaking in her arms, the wet patch forming on her shirt, and the fact Rachel was still trying to climb up her body. Addie locked eyes with Shelby as Cassie was still hugging the kids and knew something was wrong—she could not only see it in her sisters eyes but her nieces little body.
Shelby communicated with Addie that they would be back in a little bit and took the baby upstairs knowing her sister would tell Cassie what was going on. Addie almost wanted to grab her kiddos and walk right back out the door but knew her sister would let her know if they needed to try again tomorrow instead.
On the way up the stairs Rachel's tears got worse and the baby had no idea what was going on in her little mind, she just couldn't stop crying. Mommy always made her feel better though and didn't get mad she was crying, she would only hug and snuggle her even more.
"Oh my goodness baby girl, it's okay, you're okay—mommy's here, I've got you love bug, I've got you," Shelby cooed, finally making it into her bedroom where she sat in the rocking chair.
Rachel had already tucked her hands into Shelby's shirt as her way of self soothing while being chest to chest with mommy. After a bit of time Shelby was able to sneak the pacifier in between Rachel's lips while continuing to rock back and forth, rubbing her little peanuts back and whispering sweet nothings.
The baby's tears were slowing down but she was evidently still very upset so Shelby started to sing one of her new go to songs that Rachel clearly loved and helped soothe her. Shelby didn't know if it was the words, or the way the song sounded but either way it has worked really well this past week.
One look at you, my whole life falls in line
I prayed for you, before I called you mine.
Oh, I can't believe it's true sometimes,
Oh I can't believe it's true.
I get to love you, it's the best thing that I'll ever do.
I get to love you, it's a promise *I'll forever make to you*
Whatever may come, your heart I will choose,
Forever I'm yours, forever I do.
I get to love you, I get to love you.
Rachel was slowly calming down completely, her breathing evening out with little hiccups from her tears. Shelby cradled Rachel in her arms instead of them being chest to chest wiping the tears from her little cheeks as she continued to sing as their eyes locked.
The way you love, it changes who I am.
I am undone, I thank *my lucky stars* once again
*Cause* I get to love you, it's the best thing that I'll ever do.
I get to love you, it's a promise *I'll forever and ever keep to you*.
And they say love is a journey,
I promise that I'll never leave,
When it's too heavy to carry, remember this moment with me.
I get to love you, I get to love you…
Rachel's eyes were locked on her mommy's green for almost the entire song once she was cradled instead of chest to chest—something she loved to do because mommy always made her feel so much better.
She was calming down and things finally seemed to be better. Clearly, she just needed a bit more time with mommy before meeting her cousins—she was so excited earlier but when the time came, something inside her little body told her not yet please.
Mommy was there and ready to comfort her once again though, something Rachel knows will always happen: forever and ever.
More of Addie's family to come before the story picks up a bit