Chapter 8 - Reason
Hanabi is in the depths of the Hyuuga meeting room, and for the next hour, the estate is quiet. It's been rowdy for the past month. It is as if the chill of autumn has caused the Hyuuga to warm the halls with gossip, with chatter, with anything in between. When Hinata began to make weekly visits to the Uchiha estate for dinner, the floorboards started heating up with talk. Hanabi, naturally, was one of the most vocal. Neji would often find her pouting and pestering Hinata, telling her that Sasuke ought to come over and have dinner with them every now and then, that's she'd very much like to know her brother-in-law a bit before the wedding. Many Hyuuga seemed to share this sentiment. That weariness has turned cold and bland, disappearing into nothing. Suddenly, the Hyuuga want the Uchiha over.
Today, however, is a frigid day.
Hanabi is in a meeting — a dour one that requires her to wear those robes and hold her head high and think like an heiress.
Neji does not need to eavesdrop like some of the children are. He knows what this is about.
Hinata's deadline for the seal is coming. There are still things the Hyuuga must do before they can put it upon her head, and they're discussing some of them now. They've already sent a request to the Hokage, stating that Hinata will need a three-week pause from missions to recover properly and safely after the seal. This is just one of the many things on their checklist.
So, for a while, the estate is quiet and cold.
And it remains quiet and cold when Hanabi exists in her white robes, feet padding softly along the wooden floorboards. A Hyuuga bows his head, and she pulls a scroll from her long sleeve and hands it to him.
"Tonight," she whispers. "Deliver it around eight tonight."
When the Hyuuga messenger leaves, she finds Neji's eye across the way, and her lips tremble. Her mask is not strong like Hinata's, but she is trying.
"You look troubled," he says, coming to her. She's not moved from her spot by the paper door decorated with doves — doves that fly free, with stretching wings. A mockery, Neji always thought when he saw them. A careful way to remind him of his place.
Hanabi looks at them, too. Her eyes are cold and scared.
"I think I understand what it feels like to be a bigger sister," she says. Neji tries to listen. He tries to wipe away the image of a child stuffed in clothes too big, too important. She's pretending — and he needs to pretend with her. Just for now. "Making tough decisions, knowing you'll be hated, even if it's for a better future — it's hard. Is this what Big Sister has to do all her life?"
He thinks about that scroll secretly passed to the messenger. He thinks about how it's Friday, how Hinata always has dinner with Sasuke on Fridays.
He thinks about the doves, about the elders looking down at Hyuuga Hanabi, the future heiress, expecting her to lay plans for the sealment of her own sister. His chest tightens, and he places a hand on her shoulder. It's stiff and frozen. She feels like ice.
"It's Hinata," he says. "Hinata does not hate."
Hanabi's eyes spell Naruto, and Neji gulps down his guilt.
"I'll be your eyes," he eventually says. "Stay here, and don't worry."
It's an impossible request. Hanabi stares on, and the estate remains cold.
*** Hyuuga Neji - The Eyes ***
When Hinata comes to the Uchiha gate that evening, Sasuke does not hesitate. He lets her in, and she slips out of her sandals before stepping onto the engawa. They do not hesitate around each other much, though some awkwardness remains between two, quiet, recluse people.
Neji enters in cat form, already feeling the fur on his back standing with trepidation.
Sasuke doesn't seem to notice as he scratches the underside of his furry chin before placing down a bowl of chicken and cod. Neji is not close to being hungry, but he bends down and eats as Hinata and Sasuke enjoy a pleasant dinner together, talking about this and that. Hinata avoids talking about her future mission schedule, and Sasuke avoids anything that might lead to Naruto; and for a while, it's fine.
"Ah — um, Sasuke. I can wash the dishes tonight."
Sasuke looks at Neji, first, wonder in his eyes. Neji shares this confusion. Hinata tends to avoid any sort of cleaning. She brings the cooking, and Sasuke cleans the dishes as thanks. This is how their dynamic has continued for the past month; a sudden change to routine is not something either of them expected.
"Are you sure?" Sasuke eventually asks. He's not sure if it would be better to push or to simply let her do what she wants to do.
Hinata smiles, corners tilted up, as she takes plates and bowls and glasses to the kitchen sink. "I'm sure."
Sasuke stands by the table, stumped, while Neji's tail swishes behind him in thought. He has noticed that Hinata has been taking a few chores upon herself, helping with laundry and sweeping the engawa and taking out the paper sections of the door to beat the dust out of them. He's almost sure this has something to do with her recent interest in cleaning around the house.
Sasuke, of course, wouldn't know a bit about this.
He hovers for a moment more, then asks, "Why?"
Hinata's mouth slides into a nervous grin. "Well, if I'm going to be your wife, I suppose I should know how to take care of everything."
Sasuke looks around the place, seeing nothing out of place or in need of immediate attention. Clearly, he doesn't understand, but he says, "Sure. But that's something we take care of together." Hinata stops for a moment, and Sasuke frowns, uncertain. "Isn't it?"
Neji hops onto a side table to get a better look of Hinata's face. Her eyes are crinkled into crescents, and she's pleased with something Sasuke has said. It doesn't take a genius to guess what.
"Maybe you're right." She turns the faucet to let water run over the plates, and she squirts a bit of dishwasher soap before scrubbing them clean with a sponge. "But I'm assuming you'll be out on long missions, and when you come home, you might be too tired to do much of anything."
Sasuke's eyes narrow. "Can't the same be said for you?"
Hinata's eyes grow wide, almost startled. "C . . . Can it?"
"After the wedding, you'll have long missions, as well." He pauses, thinks, and adds, "I'm assuming."
"I will?"
She stops washing again. The dishes sink to the bottom of the sink, drowning.
" . . . Won't you?" Sasuke asks.
"Um." Hinata plays with her hands, realizes, and dunks them into the soapy water. She goes back to scrubbing, though it's obvious to Neji that her mind is in a different place. "Has my clan not sent you something to sign? Something about my missions?"
Sasuke's face twists. "What would I need to sign?"
Her face turns warm and red in the dim glow of the kitchen lights. "When Hyuuga women marry, they're expected to stay home and take care of the estate. I — I had just assumed my clan would have you sign a contract agreeing that you will not allow any . . . future missions for me after the wedding."
Her voice dips just a tad. Neji's ears pull back. Sasuke shifts from one leg to the other.
"I have not received any contract from the Hyuuga."
Hinata's body relaxes. "No?"
"No." He joins her at the sink and helps with drying the cleaned plates. "Nor will I sign it if it comes."
Her eyes bow as she slides her sponge in circles along the face of a plate. "You won't?"
A spark of anger comes to Sasuke's eyes. Neji almost jumps off the table to swat him out of his mood, but he's quick to realize such anger isn't directed in Hinata's direction at all.
"You'll be Uchiha," he mutters. "Why should an Uchiha practice that bullshit?"
Her eyes lift to his face. "You'll let me remain a kunoichi?"
"Let you?" he sneers. "You think I have the power to stop you?"
Again, Hinata's face lifts with a smile, and she leans her forehead against his left shoulder. Sasuke bites his lips together as he places the last of the dishes into the drying rack.
"Don't thank me," he says. "I'm not giving or taking anything."
She laughs into his sleeve, and they both seem content, but Neji's dread is building up in his stomach.
There's a knock at the gate. The Hyuuga's chakra is a dent against the lulling mood in the room. They all have a guess what it could be, and Neji is remembering Hanabi's fearful eyes.
Sasuke goes to pull open the door as Hinata dries her hands.
"Sasuke," she whispers.
"I won't sign it."
He goes out, meets the Hyuuga, then comes back with a scroll in hand. Hinata meets him by the table Neji stands upon.
"That's terrible timing," Hinata muses.
Sasuke scoffs. "Terrible for them."
He opens the scroll, reads it, and the disdain on his face melts away. It drips down his chin and forms a pool around his feet. His eyes flicker from word to word, scrawled in that neat, Hyuuga handwriting that Neji knows all too well. A heavy silence falls over them, and Hinata shifts, unsure.
"Sasuke?"
He stops reading and goes to a room in the back — a room Neji knows is his father's old office. Hinata follows him, and Neji follows her, and they both watch as Sasuke signs and stamps the Uchiha seal at the bottom of the scroll.
Neji can hear Hinata's heart crack against the floor.
"You said you wouldn't sign it," she says.
"This is different, Hinata."
Her fingers curl with restrained anger as Sasuke motions her over, letting her read over the contents of the scroll. Neji jumps onto the desk, flinches at the smell of old paper, and scans the words, as well.
This has nothing to do with missions. In fact, it hardly has anything to do with Hinata.
It has to do with Sasuke.
If he plans to continue on with the marriage, he must agree to live the rest of his life in Konoha.
Instantly, Neji thinks back to over a month ago — to that boy on the engawa, angry with the world and with himself.
"I should have just left. Why did I hesitate? Now I'm stuck here."
His claws poke out, and Hinata pulls away from the scroll.
"You were planning to leave?" she asks.
"Yes," Sasuke says. "Around the time the proposal came."
"Why?" This time, her voice is much quieter. It's like she's lost the air to speak properly.
Sasuke looks down at Neji. He's the only one that knows. The look in Sasuke's eye tells Neji that, really, he was going to be the only one who knew. But now a scroll has come, and Hinata is there, waiting.
"I did not feel I belonged here," he says. "I wanted to find redemption in the world. I wanted to find a reason to live."
"But now you're stuck here," Hinata finishes, hearing the unsaid part of his statement.
Sasuke places a hand on Neji's head, then looks at her. "But now I'm here."
...
And it's a painful, horrible thing to watch the life drain out of her face. To see all that color and shine that makes Hinata fade away, like it was never there to begin with. She's back to that doll, that half-person that roamed the halls of the Hyuuga estate, empty, searching for nothing in particular. The one with the towel over her eyes. The one who stayed quiet and still as the elders decided her life for her, marrying her to an Uchiha living in ruins.
And Neji feels sick. He feels wounded.
He feels like war has taken over the world again, and he hates it. He hates it all.
"Oh."
She steps away from the desk, from the scroll. She looks like she suddenly doesn't belong there.
"Hinata." And that's all Sasuke says. That's all he knows to say.
He's not Hyuuga. He does not know how to deal with the pain that comes with this fading, drifting Hinata. He does not know what to do. She's stepping away, and he's letting her.
She leaves the room, and Neji sprints after her.
Hinata! he wants to scream. Hinata, stop!
She does, and she stares at the room. She looks lost. She looks like she doesn't know how to get out, but she wants to. She wants to leave. She wants to go to her room and swallow the darkness and drown in it.
Neji's circling around her. A nervous meow leaves him, but she does not look at him.
Sasuke, his mind snaps. Sasuke, come on!
He does, eventually. He steps into the main room, watching Hinata looking around like she barely recognizes where she is.
"I already signed it," he says. "It doesn't matter."
"That's awful," Hinata whispers.
Sasuke shakes his head. "It's fine, Hinata. It doesn't bother me anymore."
She finds the door, makes it about halfway there, and then her legs give out. She collapses onto her knees, and the noise booms through the estate. Neji panics, jumping onto her lap before she can try to get up again. Sasuke comes closer, eyes narrow as he searches her for injuries. When his eye bleeds red, she looks up at him.
"Pity," she murmurs. "You're pitying me. Why does everyone pity me?"
Sasuke's hand cracks, and Neji can smell the smoke and lightning of his building chakra. It wafts through the house like a phantom. He looks like he could spit fire, but then he turns away, swallowing the lava back down into his chest. He waits until the red in his irises dies out, and then he slowly kneels down next to her, sitting on the backs of his legs.
"It's not pity," he says. "I've found my reason. Here. In Konoha. So it's not pity."
Neji paws at her knee, coaxing her out of her cloudy thoughts. She blinks, and her eyes clear up a bit.
"I have a home to fix," Sasuke continues, "and a cat to keep out of trouble. I can't abandon these things. Not anymore."
He looks down at her hands, lifts her left hand up, and slips the ring off her finger. He holds it in his palm for a while, letting the metal warm with his natural heat, before he grabs her right hand and slips it on her ring finger. Hinata watches him carefully, eyes fluttering with wonder.
"And there's someone here I'm planning to marry," he admits eventually. "We get along, which isn't something that happens often. I don't think I'd want to leave even if I could. She has a vision, and so do I. It may be difficult, but I want to try and make it come true."
Hinata's chin tucks down, and her eyes squeeze shut. Her hand grabs his like it's the only real thing around her.
"I don't want to trap you here, Sasuke," she whispers.
Sasuke does not pull away. He lets her squeeze the life out of his hand. "I'm not trapped. The gate is open, and I'm choosing to stay."
A shaky sigh makes her body tremble, and she leans into him. He holds her exhausted form, letting her find stability in his form. Neji slips out from between them, still on edge, but relieved things did not go horribly wrong.
...
A while later, Sasuke leaves Hinata to pull out a cot for her.
"Do you want to stay?" he asks.
She nods and lies down when he spreads it onto the floor for her. Neji is quick to curl up on her stomach, listening to the smooth beats of her heartbeat as she slowly drifts asleep.
Sasuke is around, for a while. He reads in a nearby chair, then makes a small round around the estate.
When he comes back, twilight is stuck to his skin.
He smells like the moon and a man who thinks, maybe, he said the right thing at the right time for the first time in his life.
He makes sure Hinata is properly covered in blankets, then rubs Neji's head.
"Watch over her," he says. "Wake her if she has nightmares. I know how awful they can be."
And then, after a moment, he leaves for his own room.
He does not come back. A part of Neji is glad he doesn't —
But . . . a part of him wishes he did.
...
An hour later, when he's sure they're both asleep, Neji slips out of the house.
He transforms back into his normal form, and Shisui yawns and curls up in the alleyway, exhausted.
When he gets home, Hanabi is in the gardens, face tilted to the sky.
"She's fine," he tells her. "She fell asleep, but she's fine."
Hanabi's mouth trembles, but she nods like an adult. "She hates me."
"No." He touches her head with his hand. "Of course, she doesn't."
The tears that run down her face are fat. Tears of a child who fears the absolute worst. She hides her face into his shoulder and cries, and Neji sighs into the night.
"I-I had to," Hanabi sobs. "It's better she knew sooner than later."
"You made the right decision," he says. "Good work. You did well."
...
That morning, in Hyuuga Neji form, he leaps over the gate and pulls open the sliding door.
Sasuke, who must have felt his chakra's approach minutes ago, gives him a tired stare from Hinata's side.
"We appreciate your attentiveness," Neji drones, "but I'll take over from here."
Neji swipes down and lifts Hinata into his arms. Hinata stirs awake and gasps.
"Cousin?"
"Be careful with my wife," Sasuke mutters, standing with them. "She's barely woken up. Brat."
Brat? Neji tries to brush off the insult, focusing on bringing Hinata home with him.
She wiggles in his hold, but he pushes her into a better position in his arms, not letting her leave. Understanding his stubbornness, she stretches out to grab Sasuke's sleeve before they exit the home.
"Thank you for taking care of me," she says. Her face is warm, but Neji likes to pretend it's because of the morning sunshine shining over her. "And, um, you're a good reason to keep going, too."
Sasuke says nothing. He lets them leave with a word, and Neji leaps over the gate, smirking, absolutely sure that that poor, Uchiha fool is probably melting in the privacy of his estate.
...
"You look happy," Hinata notes.
His smirk has not vanished even when they've almost reached their home. "Hm. It's because the two of you together are disgusting."
Now her face is absolutely red. "Neji!"
"You're a good reason to keep going, too," he mocks. "How revolting."
Hinata smacks his chin. "Let me down. I can walk fine, Cousin."
"Ah, but Hanabi's been worrying all night about you. I was hoping to give her a scare."
"You're horrible!" Despite herself, Hinata laughs, and Neji's glad that things, indeed, have turned out better than expected.
Chapter 8 - End