I vaguely remember waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and get something to drink before climbing back into my bed next to Edward. I laid there for a few moments, watching him sleep and thinking about the evening we spent together. My body still tingled at the memory of his touch. My belly clenched at the thought of him moving within me.
He doesn't reach for me when I come back to bed, but he does make room.
When I wake up several hours later, Edward is still lightly snoring next to me, and somebody is pounding on my bedroom door.
"Bella? Are you awake? I'm coming in." Jake is right outside, and I can hear him start to open my door. I leap out of bed and grab the nearest shirt and pull it over my head just as Jake pushed the door open.
"Jake, hi." I brace the door with my foot and block his view inside my room. I'm not sure what he can see from the doorway, and I'd like to keep it to a minimum. "What are you doing here?"
"I live here." He rolls his eyes and swings his long hair off his shoulders.
"I know that. What I meant was aren't you and Embry supposed to be headed out of town for the week?" I can hear Edward start to stir, and I pull the door tighter around me.
"Are you—" Jake's eyes go wide. "Bella Swan, do you have a man in there with you?"
Huffing, I squeeze out of the door, pulling at the hem of the shirt. "I do. So, if you don't mind—"
"Oh my god, you hoe! Who is it?" Jake is trying to get past me to open my door, but I reach out and grab his junk.
"Let it go, Jacob." I'm seething. He's always like this. "What do you want?"
"I was just stopping by because we had a change of plans. We're going to lunch with Embry's sister before we leave, and I wanted to see if you wanted to come." He shifts his weight, crossing his arms over his chest. "I know we haven't spent that much time together lately, and—"
"Lately? I barely see you anymore!" I hear the bed springs creak, and I groan. "I miss you; you're my best friend. But you can't just ignore me, and then show up without any warning and expect me to run off with you. Obviously … I'm busy."
The silence lingers between us until Jake finally sighs. "I'm sorry."
Looking up at him, I shrug.
"I am, Bells, please? C'mon. I know, I convinced you to finally move in here, and then I ditched you." He reaches out to me, and I let him pull me into a hug. "Are you naked under this?"
I laugh, pushing him away. "Go away. I'll see you next week when you get back."
Jake smiles and goes to move down the hall. "I'm gonna pop in and say hello to Edward. See ya."
"No!"
Jake turns slowly and stares at me.
"Um, Edward's not here."
"His truck is here," Jake says, gesturing out the patio window.
"Yeah, some girl picked him up. He texted me at like midnight, saying he wasn't coming home." I shrug and inch closer to my door.
"Oh, okay. Well, I'll see you guys next Sunday." He winks and disappears down the stairs.
"Have fun. Let me know when you get there." I slink back into my room and lean against the closed door.
"I thought he'd never leave." Edward is sitting upright in my bed, sheets draped around his waist and grinning at me. "That's my shirt."
Glancing down, I realize I'm wearing his US NAVY tee, and I wonder if Jake noticed.
"I wouldn't worry; don't you have like a dozen of Jake's old shirts?" Edward points out as he stretches and climbs out of my bed. "Breakfast?"
"Didn't you want to talk?" I ask, taking off his shirt and tossing it to him.
"Sure, we can talk during breakfast." He pulls his jeans on, then his shirt. "You like French toast, right?"
Edward has never cooked anything in this house except for frozen pizza and grilled hot dogs, so I'm a little wary. "I do like French toast. It's my favorite."
"Good. I'll get cleaned up and make coffee, and you can make that." Edward pats my ass and brushes past me and into the hall.
What the fuck?
My head is spinning between Jake's appearance and Edward's nonchalance, but I don't know what to do or think. Edward and I need to have a conversation, so I dash to Jake's room to use his bathroom. Once I'm done, I go back to my room to change, and then head to the kitchen to find that Edward has a pot of coffee brewing while he pulls out all the ingredients for French toast.
"You weren't kidding," I mutter as I wash my hands and grab the eggs.
Out of the corner of my eye, Edward pulls out my coffee creamer and doctors up my favorite mug before sliding it over to me. "Can I have three pieces?"
"Can you cook the bacon?"
He smirks. "I guess I can. You all right?"
I roll my eyes. "I guess I'm just … confused? You're very hot and cold. It's giving me whiplash."
"That tracks, and I'd apologize, but this is who I am, Bella. We've barely spent any time together; you don't really know me," he says as he takes a sip from his own mug.
"Sure, okay. So, you're an asshole, is that it?" I begin frying the bread and look over my shoulder as Edward smiles.
"If you want to think of me that way."
"I don't want to. I'd actually like to think that you're a decent person. Just because you run through women like toilet paper doesn't make you inherently bad." I rinse my hands before grabbing a spatula.
"Bella, you can't fix me. I—"
"I'm not saying I want to." I point the flipper at him. "You said you didn't want a girlfriend. You said you didn't want a distraction. But, you keep seeking me out. So, this isn't my problem."
He stares at me slack jawed.
"It's yours, Edward."
I turn back to the stove to finish off the bread and turn them out onto a plate. He never started on the bacon, so I hand the plate over to him and make my own. He still hasn't said anything, and I wonder, even after everything that's happened, if I've somehow crossed a line.
"So … if it's my problem, then I have a proposition for you," Edward finally says as I lean against the kitchen island, digging into my breakfast.
Rolling my eyes, I look at him. "What?" I shove a bite in my mouth, waiting for him to answer.
"Casual sex. You and me, whenever we feel like it." He picks up his plate to take it to the sink, but he uses it as an opportunity to avoid my gaze.
"Sex is anything but casual, Edward." I take another bite before I say anything else. It's a terrible idea. I like dating when I do it. I like being in a relationship and being a girlfriend. I like being respected and cared for. Sex, for as natural and basic as it is, involves emotions. You have to be mildly attracted to the other person, and for women especially, you have to feel some kind of connection with the other person.
Or, at least I have to.
"We could have rules; guidelines." Edward is leaning against the sink with his arms crossed over his chest. "I … look, I do like being friends with you, and I'm not an asshole, well, not all the time. I just have a certain idea for how I want my life to go and right now—"
"Right now, you can't afford any distractions?" I raise an eyebrow and hop on the island to face him. "Poor word choice on your part, but I guess I get it. Jake has always been career focused since he joined the Navy, and I want to move up in my job. Distractions can be costly."
"They can, but I shouldn't have assumed that you wanted anything more from me or us. So, I'm sorry for that." He leans forward, offering his hand, and I shake it firmly. "Friends?"
I nod with a smile.
"Friends with benefits?" Edward asks with a sly smile.
"Ugh, I don't know. We could make all the rules and whatever, but we'll break them." I drop his hand and sigh. "One of us will catch feelings or get jealous. It sounds good in theory, but it won't work."
"We're like, really good at it though," Edward says, making me laugh. He's right; we are really good at it. "Let's talk about it. We can take it a month at a time."
Biting my lip, I consider my options. "Spend the day with me, and if we can agree on the rules, I'll agree to a trial run."
"Okay, deal." Edward turns to wash the breakfast dishes, and then turns back around to face me. "Number one rule—"
"We don't tell Jacob." We speak in unison, and then I laugh.
"I'm going to take a shower. I'll be ready to leave in forty minutes," I say as I walk out of the kitchen and back down to my room.
I grab my robe before heading to the bathroom and turning on the water in the tub. As I climb into the shower, I shake my head. What am I doing?