Edward

"She didn't want to see me," I tell him as I climb into my driver's seat, sighing.

"Dude, what did you expect?" He sounds exasperated; honestly, I can't blame him. "Did you think she was going to find you on her doorstep and leap into your arms?"

I didn't, not really. I had hoped that we could talk, really talk about, I don't know, how I screwed everything up. How I wanted to get to know her without the arrangement or how I wanted her to know that there was more to me than this asshole that she saw.

"Maybe Bella and I aren't meant to be in each other's lives." Pulling away from the curb, I pass by Bella's house and sigh. "I need to just figure my shit out."

"You sound like such a chick … OUCH, Rosie!" I can hear Rose yelling at my friend in the background, and I roll my eyes.

"You know, Edward, you wouldn't be in this mess if you had just been, I don't know, honest? I love Bella to death, but you two never once had a discussion about your pasts." Rose has taken Emmett's phone and has decided that yelling at me is the best option.

"I'm driving, Rose. Can we take the volume down a little?"

"Oh my god, Edward. Seriously? It's one thing to be sarcastic, but you take it to the umpteenth level. You want to know how to fix this? Get your ass over here. You're about to get a crash course in being a decent human being." The call ends, making my radio blare music throughout the truck. I curse, turning it down and guiding myself toward their house.

At this point, I have nothing else left to lose.

**BoU**

"So, what's wrong with you, Edward?" Rose is sitting across from me in her living room while Emmett is throwing together dinner.

"I don't know. My parents are divorced, so I didn't have a good example—"

"Bzzz! Bella's parents are divorced, so are Emmett's. My parents have been happily separated for more than ten years. A lot of people come from broken homes, and they aren't assholes. Try again." She's flipping through a magazine, not even paying attention to me.

But she has a point.

"Is this about Makenna?" Emmett calls from the kitchen, and I freeze as Rose slowly turns her head to lock her eyes on me.

"Who's Makenna?"

Gritting my teeth, I smile. "Makenna is nobody."

"Oh, ho ho, Makenna is not nobody, and the fact that you're saying that tells me this is all about her," Emmett says as he rounds the corner from the kitchen, decked out in a frilly apron and holding a raw chicken.

"Emmett?"

"Yes, dear?"

Rose simply gestures to the bird in his hands before he runs back to the kitchen. He returns a couple minutes later and takes a seat next to Rose. "Makenna Charles was Eddie's girlfriend back home before he joined the Navy."

"She was my girlfriend for three years before I joined the Navy; get the facts straight." I get up to grab a beer because I can already tell this is going to be painful.

"Right, they started dating at the end of freshman year, then right before Eddie leaves, he proposes to her." Emmett looks to Rose, who looks shocked, and rightly so. No one, not even Jasper or Jake, knows this about me.

"Wait, you were engaged? For how long?" Rose is looking at me with concerned eyes, and I swallow down the lump in my throat.

"All together or just that first time?" I roll my eyes when hers bug out. "All together about two years. Makenna said yes at first, but when I went off to boot camp, she got antsy. Ten weeks was too long for her to wait it out." I hate retelling this.

"No. Edward, no, she didn't." Rose seems genuinely upset. Who can blame her? It's a shitty thing that happened.

"While Edward was in Chicago, Makenna was back home plowing through every willing, available, and not so available guy around." Emmett has always been pissed about this. I think because she hit on him. When he turned her down, he started to believe the rumors and wrote me a letter. By the time I got it, Makenna hadn't written to me once.

"So, what happened?" Rose asks and moves closer to Emmett.

"I got sent to A school in Texas. I was close enough, and a good enough sailor that by the time we were granted off-base liberty, my CO allowed my mom to come pick me up for a weekend. Makenna came over, and we got into a huge fight. Broke off the engagement, everything," I tell her, remembering with vivid detail her telling me about all the guys she hooked up with while I was away.

"When I left Texas, I met up with my ship in King's Bay and got to work. Six months after being there, Makenna came down to see me. She was apologetic, and I was stupid. So we got back together, and another two months after that, we were engaged again." I look at Emmett, and he picks up the rest of the story.

"Makenna was looking for a way out of town. She didn't really like the idea of Georgia though, so when Edward wasn't sure he was going to get a new duty station or not, she broke up with him."

"Well, she didn't just break up with me. She fucked one of my fellow sailors, so …"

Rose looks downright horrified. "Edward, oh my god."

"Yeah, so I got into a fight. Got a transfer, ended up here. Met Jasper and Jake in C school. Jasper and I were on the same ship, and Makenna showed up one more time. She likes it out here, thinks this is some kind of paradise. But, she also wants the free healthcare that comes with being married to the military, the housing stipend, everything. I was tired of being alone. Living on the ship sucks. And I had friends who had gotten married, and it was working for them."

"So, what? You just proposed again? She cheated on you … multiple times." Rose has this deranged look and laugh.

"Well, it wasn't this romantic, official thing. I told her to move out here, and we could date again and see if it would work." Makenna had been so pissed that I wasn't ready to just jump the gun with her.

"She told everyone back home that you two were getting married as soon as she got there. It took her a year to save up enough to move herself out here," Emmett says, rolling his eyes. "And then what happened?"

"Well, while I was waiting for her, and I guess, technically engaged, I started meeting some girls."

"Is this when you turned into a gigantic man-whore?" Rose looks between me and Emmett. "I'm asking for clarification."

"Something like that." I'm feeling hot. It seems stuffy in here.

"Explain Kate." Rose demands.

I clear my throat. "There's nothing to explain."

"You weren't really dating? Bella said she thought she was a girlfriend?" Rose has shifted and is leaning forward to stare me down.

"Kate and I may have had a similar situation, but it was different. She and I weren't friends. Bella and I were, and I would like to get back there. Isn't that why I'm here?" I stare at Rose as she rolls her eyes.

"You've done this before. I would venture to guess that you and Kate didn't have any rules, but she was falling for you. Add Bella to the house where she's around you a lot, Kate gets jealous, and then BAM! You start the whole cycle again with someone else." Rose stands up, looking smug. "It won't matter what you say, Edward. You have to change. I get that you were hurt by Makenna, but using women to get past that isn't the way to live your life."

Emmett and I watch her walk out of the living room before he speaks up. "What are you going to do?"

Shaking my head, I sigh. "I don't know. Maybe once I get out on my own, I'll be able to think clearer."

Emmett nods. "Are you staying for dinner?"

Shaking my head, I stand. "I don't think I should."

"Don't be a pussy Edward," Rose yells from the kitchen, and Emmett laughs.

"Look, Rose is upset for her friend, but deep down, she's upset for you too. It's shitty what happened to you. But, at some point, you have to let it go, move on, and be a better person." Emmett claps my shoulder and sighs. "Now, come help me grill this bird, and we'll figure out where the good version of Edward Cullen is hiding."

I follow Emmett to the kitchen, thinking about what he just said. If there is a good version of me, Bella saw it. She said she did. I've just got to find him.