Edward and I survive the food poisoning weekend from hell relatively unscathed. Luckily, he isn't a huge whiny man-child when he's sick, and I learned that I can deal with puke, in small doses, when it's coming from him. Apparently, my feelings for Edward outweigh the ick factor. By the time Sunday rolls around, and Edward finally leaves to head back to his apartment, I'm feeling restless.
I'd never gotten back to Ben and decided that now was as good a time as any. It's a little after seven in the evening, so I text him first to see if he's free to talk. It takes him a few minutes to respond, but once he does, I call him on FaceTime.
"Hey, how are you? I'm sorry I didn't get back to you." I smile as I get situated on my couch, propping my arm on the end and holding my phone.
"I'm good. I know it was last minute when I asked if you were free, but we haven't seen each other, and I just …" He shrugs, and I know what he means.
"I know. I wasn't sure for a little bit there if I was going to figure anything out, but—"
"Did you? Figure it out?" He smiles the sweet Ben smile, and I sigh.
"Yeah, I think we did." I tell him, briefly, of the limited time I've spent with Edward but of how he's actually communicating with me, opening up to me, making me a priority. "I'm sorry, Ben."
"Are you happy?"
"Yeah, I don't know if it will always be like this, but it's a real shot now."
"Okay, well, then good for you. I wish things were different, but I hope it works out for you."
We chat for a few more minutes, mostly about work things, before the conversation peters out, and we say goodbye. Before when Ben and I had a serious talk, I ended up feeling a bit devastated and restless. Tonight, I feel renewed; I believe I'm on the right path now.
**BoU**
Rose, Alice, and I are out shopping for a dress for the engagement party when Rose asks the million-dollar question. "So, have you and Edward sealed the deal again?"
Alice rounds on her half-sister with wide eyes as I sputter out a response. "No, uh, not yet."
"Why not? You already know you're compatible that way?" She picks up a peach-colored swing dress with a lace overlay, holding it up to her body. "What's the hold up?"
"Rose, maybe Bella isn't comfortable talking about this, especially in public." Alice is trying to defend me, so I give her a warm smile, but I know Rose is just being herself. Her annoying, overbearing self.
"It's fine. We're taking it slow. Deliberately." I take the dress from Rose, hanging it back up. She might be annoying but she has a yellow undertone and would look hideous in that thing. "I think we're both worried about falling into old habits."
Rose and Alice share a look, and something tells me they've been talking about me, about us, when they get together. "What? What is it?"
Alice is a bit gentler than Rose any day, so when she loops her arm through mine and pulls me down the aisle, I relax a little. "Jasper may have mentioned that Edward is a little scared to take that next step." She tries to soothe me when I jerk away from her. "From what Jasper said, it sounds like he's worried that you might think he only did all of this to get you back into bed."
Shaking my head and frowning, I sigh. "I don't think that at all. It never crossed my mind."
"Well, he's thinking about it. Maybe you need to talk to him; let him know that you're okay with moving forward." She pats my back as Rose holds up another dress and walks over to look it over.
Am I okay with moving forward? Is that what I really want? We haven't even been dating for a month; shouldn't we wait a bit to make sure that things are going to work out this time?
Two days later, I'm at Rose's mom's house, helping to decorate while her dad and Emmett clean up the backyard. "Lilian, can I ask you a question?"
She smiles at me as she seasons burgers before placing them on a platter. "Of course, what's up?"
"How do you and Mark do it?" I drop my arms heavily to my sides. In all the years that I've known Rose, her parents have been happily separated but not divorced. They love each other, they support each other, and because Lilian has been in and out of remission for years, they've stayed married to keep her on his insurance. He cheated on her once, years ago, and produced Alice, but it wasn't until much later that they separated. Marcus Hale is still an integral part of Lilian's life.
I've never understood it.
"I know your own parents' marriage and divorce was messy and complicated, and I'm not trying to say that there wasn't love there … but Mark and I have a deep-rooted respect for each other. It was hard to earn that respect back after his affair, but we managed to do it. I trust him, and he trusts me. I know when push comes to shove, he'll be there when I need him, and frankly, I need him a lot these days." She's been sitting on a stool, her wig somewhere in her room probably, and when I look closely, I can see the bags under her eyes and the heaviness in her body.
"How are you doing?" I lean across the island to look at her.
"Some days are good. Today is a good day." She smiles broadly as we hear Mark and Emmett laughing from the back yard. "Mark and I learned a long time ago to cherish the really good days. If you can do that, you'll be okay."
"You know you can call me for anything, right?" I feel a little teary, standing up quickly to move around to her side, wrapping my arms around her shoulders.
"You know that goes both ways, right?" She bumps her head gently to mine, and we laugh. Rose walks in on us sharing this moment and rolls her eyes.
"Both of you, really?" She grabs an apron and shoos her mom out of the kitchen to go get ready while she takes over. "When are you going to get changed?"
"As soon as Edward gets here. He's bringing my dress," I say, and Rose smiles.
"I overheard some of that conversation. She's right about the good days." My best friend, annoying and overbearing, is looking at me kindly. "I know you want a ton of good days with the best version of Edward you can get, but people are ever evolving creatures. You have to take what you have and learn to grow with him if you want to move forward."
"When did you get so smart?"
"I've always been this way. I just drink and curse a lot." She shrugs, and I laugh as the doorbell rings.
"That's probably Edward." I go to answer the door to find my very handsome-looking man standing on the doorstep, holding a garment bag and smiling.
"Hey." He swoops down to press a kiss to my lips before handing me my dress. "I got my tailor to fix the zipper."
"Thanks." I close the door behind him, leading him into the house, giving him a quick tour. "The party will be outside, mostly, but the front bathroom is down here." I point to the door, and he pulls me into the room quickly, shutting the door behind us.
"Am I overdressed?" He's wearing khakis and a polo shirt, which is perfect since Emmett and Rose were going for a casual barbeque.
"It's January in San Diego, and Rose is making us eat outside; you're fine." I smooth the invisible wrinkles in his shirt. "Do you have a jacket? It might get cold later."
"No, but I'm hoping we can leave a little early. I want to talk to you." His hands drift down to my waist where he lifts me up onto the counter and steps between my thighs.
My breathing hitches. "What did you want to talk about?"
Edward's head dips down to capture my lips sweetly, and when he pulls away, I'm grasping for him. "Us. I know I said I wanted to take it slow, and I do. But I want to just be with you. I don't want to wonder if some guy is going to ask you out or—"
"Are you saying you're ready to have an actual relationship?" I grin goofily, and he leans his forehead to mine.
"Yes."
"And I won't be a distraction?"
"Oh, you will. But you already have been for the last year." I pull away from him, and he laughs. "I like the distraction. But we do need to talk about the future."
"Okay, let's party it up big time and sneak out early." I wrap my hands around the back of his neck. "We can go to your place." I kiss him firmly before pulling away and running into Rose's room to change.
After a few hours, food, toasts, and plenty to drink, Edward and I say our goodbyes. He follows me to my place and waits in his truck as I run inside to pack a bag. We've decided that I'm going to stay overnight; it doesn't mean anything, just that it's the weekend, and we have all night to talk.
Just as I open the door to walk out, I see a crying Jake standing on my doorstep. "Bella? Can I talk to you?"
There's a part of me, deep down, that wants to open my arms, bring Jake in, dry his tears, and find out what's going on, but the other part, not so deep down, is still hurt and angry. So, I lock the door behind me and slide past Jake.
"Sorry, Jake. You made it clear that I wasn't a priority for you, so you aren't one for me. I have plans." I walk out to Edward's waiting truck, and as we drive off, I fill him in.
"Are you sure you don't want to talk to him?"
"No, you're important. He's not."