Sirius was, to be quite honest, absolutely shitfaced.

He'd necked his butterbeer in the shower, and had at least three more before the guests started to arrive. Then, there was Hempy's famous punch - he had no idea how many glasses of that he'd had - and then shots, and then more beer, and then he and the Marauders had taken a quiet twenty minutes to open the firewhiskey James gave him for Christmas. He was now on the elf-made wine, eschewing a goblet in favour of supping the rich liquid straight from the bottle, clutching it by the neck.

The hall was crowded, and loud as hell. Music blared - Sirius thought it was the new Pink Thestral album, but he couldn't hear the record for the ringing in his ears. He wandered the edge of the heaving dancefloor, a great mass of gyrating, sweaty bodies. He had no idea where his friends had gone, and sought them in the rooms that spanned off the main hall, with its huge staircase, giant Christmas tree, and vaulted ceiling.

The first was the dining room. Someone had set up a drinking game on the mahogany dining table, and it was surrounded by Hogwarts students, some he recognised and others he didn't. Usually he loved Quidcup, which involved bouncing miniature Quaffles through enchanted hoops and into the opposing team's drinks. From his position in the doorway, he caught the eye of flame-haired Amelia Bones across the table. She held his gaze, before smiling slightly, and winking at him. Another year, he'd have walked over, and squeezed into the crowd next to her, complimenting her on the green dress she was wearing. The game would end, and he'd suggest they make a team for the next round, getting progressively drunker together as the night wore on. Then, one thing would lead to another, and they'd slip away together upstairs, and…

Not tonight. No, tonight he wasn't in the mood - or at least, not in the mood for Amelia's company. He smiled charmingly, but turned on his heel and left. He squeezed past an animated Fabian Prewett, talking with Benjy Fenwick about the Chudley Cannons' rare win the weekend before, and checked the drawing room. He walked into the dimly-lit room, before walking immediately out again - he did not want to know what Alice Collins had been doing to Frank Longbottom.

That left the library, and the kitchen. He did pause for a moment to talk to Amadeus Wilkie, an old Gryffindor who had left school the year previously, before he opened the door to the library. Adjusting to the dimness, he thought the book-lined room was empty. Then, he spotted her sitting in a loveseat by the roaring fire.

Her.

She looked fucking fantastic. In the half light, the pattern of the fire flickered in shadow and light across her face. She'd left her hair down, not half-pinned like she did usually, and her blonde curls glistened like gold. She wore a black jumpsuit, her legs looking like they went on for miles. The top was a halter, showing off her shoulders and décolletage. He was practically salivating.

"Hey, Black," she said, looking up at him.

"McKinnon!" he replied, a little too loudly, and threw himself into the seat next to her. "Why're you on your own?"

"Needed a bit of space," she said. "The music was getting to me. You know when you drink and it doesn't make you fun?"

"Yup." Sirius rested the bottle of wine on his knee. "How was your Christmas?"

"It was nice, actually! My siblings were all home - my sister, you know, Annie? - she just had a baby, so it was great to meet him."

"Cute, what's he called?"

"Phineas," Marlene said, making a face, "which I think is heinous, but it's a family name on his dad's side. They're all Fawleys. And to be honest, he's so adorable that you can ignore the dreadful name. He's got that peaches-and-cream look."

Sirius hadn't ever thought of Marlene as someone who liked babies. She'd always seemed too… brusque for that. Then again, he thought, people always thought that about him.

"Phineas Fawley," Sirius said, working the syllables around his mouth.

"Awful, right?"

"Not great," he replied.

"How about yours?" she asked. "Christmas, I mean."

"Fantastic, Uncle Monty and Aunt Phe were great, as per usual."

"You call them aunt and uncle?"

"Uh-huh, they make me. Think they'd make me call them Mum and Dad if they thought I'd do it."

"They really are like family to you, aren't they?" Marlene asked.

"Well, sometimes it's nice to pretend," Sirius replied, and took a swig of wine. She didn't say anything to that, and he looked down. Her hand was resting on her knee, where her legs were crossed. She had such dinky little hands, he thought, so different to the great paws he had. He was many things, but delicate was not one of them; not slender like Remus, or elegant like James, or short like Peter. Without thinking, he reached out and took her hand in his, pressing her palm against his upturned one. He looked at how her fingertips barely reached the second knuckle on his hand, revelled in the softness of her skin as he laced her fingers with his own.

God, he thought, it's the skin all over again. Think about her boobs or something, Sirius.

"What are you doing, Black?" Marlene chuckled.

Sirius shrugged.

"Dunno. Liked holding your hand that time. Want me to stop?"

"No," she replied, "you're good."

"Good," Sirius repeated.

"You're drunk, aren't you?"

"Maybe a lil bit," he said. "You?"

"Getting there," she replied, lifting a bottle of cheap firewhiskey and shaking it.

"That," he said with force, "is shit. Here, have some of mine."

He handed her the bottle of wine, watching as she brought it to her lips. She drank slowly, and when she was done, she licked the wine from her lips swiftly.

Christ. I could just tell her, he thought. I could just tell her how beautiful she looks tonight, how much I want her.

"Hey, Padfoot!"

Both Marlene and Sirius jumped. James walked into the room, followed by Lily, Remus, and Peter.

"We've been looking for you!" he said. "The girls are just in the bathroom, but we thought we'd play a game of truth-or-dare."

"Sounds good," Sirius replied thickly.

"Marlene, you wanna play?" James asked.

"Sure, Potter," she replied, voice confident.

"Are you two holding hands?" Remus asked, a bemused look on his face, as he threw himself onto the rug by the hearth.

"Cold hands," Marlene said cooly, but made no move to extract hers from Sirius'.

"As you were, then," Remus replied, toasting them with his bottle.

"Sorry!" Mary called, rushing into the room and dragging Dorcas by the hand. "Got distracted. But! We brought Alice and Frank and Amelia to make up the numbers." James and Lily shared a look - hopefully Amelia wasn't going to complicate things, James thought.

Soon the group was settled comfortably. Frank had taken an armchair, Alice perched on the arm of it, her feet resting in his lap. Mary, Lily, Dorcas and Amelia were squeezed onto the sofa, with James and Peter joining Remus on the floor.

"Who's going first?" Lily asked, as James poured out more goblets of wine and handed them round.

"Who's youngest?" he asked, handing a goblet to Marlene, who finally removed her hand from Sirius', much to his internal chagrin.

"Frank, no?" Peter asked.

"Yeah," Frank replied with a wicked grin, "unfortunately me. August 19th."

"Unlucky," Mary grinned at him.

"Go on then," Frank said, his Yorkshire twang rounded out by a few too many drinks. "Truth."

"How long have you and Alice been doing the dirty and thinking none of us knew?" Lily asked, as though she'd had that question prepared and ready. The group laughed, and both Alice and Frank blushed red to their roots.

"Four months," Frank said finally.

"You total bastard!" Remus said from the floor. "I asked you about it in October and you never said!"

Frank shrugged.

"A gentleman never tells, eh?"

Next was Alice, who confessed that her biggest secret was sleeping with Frank in the library, which brought raucous laughter at the thought of the quiet, studious pair desecrating such a sacred space. Peter took a dare, drinking an ugly concoction of firewhiskey, wine, mead, and Irish cream from the bottle he'd been clutching all night, which curdled immediately upon entering the mixture. So disgusting was the drink, in fact, that it had come out of his nose. James admitted he was most afraid of his parents dying, which turned the mood a little sombre until Lily was dared to take a shot out of his belly button. Then Mary had to kiss Dorcas, and Dorcas had to do her best impression of McGonagall, and Amelia confessed to once sabotaging someone else's potion in order to win 50 points for Hufflepuff.

Then, it was Sirius' turn.

"Dare," he said firmly. Stay away from the truth questions at all costs was his approach.

James looked right at him. It only took a split second for Sirius to decipher the look on his face, the upturned corners of his mouth and the twinkle in his eye. Lily had told him, he thought, panicking, and she'd told him about Marlene too.

"Kiss the girl you'd most like to date," James said, far too casually.

Internally, Sirius was screeching. He felt like he wanted to turn inside out, jump into the fire, drop a glass of wine over himself, anything to stop them all looking at him like that. Amelia had a gaze one could only describe as expectant. He shot a look at Lily, whose face went pale when she realised he'd deducted the truth. Traitor.

"Okay," he said finally.

To his right, out the corner of his eye, he saw Amelia sit up a little. It'd be easy, of course, for him to turn that way, kiss her like he'd kissed her before, like everyone was expecting. Instead, he turned to face Marlene, who was studiously considering the goblet in her hand. He shifted slightly, and she looked up at him, her eyes going wide as they met his. Well, all or nothing, he supposed. He leant in, bringing her face to his, and kissed her.

It was a gentle kiss, lips touching briefly. No tongue, no heat or fire, but to Sirius it was the best kiss he'd ever had. His body felt alive, that's the only way he could describe it - like Lazarus, like coming back to life again.

They pulled away, and just looked at each other for a moment. Peter, now thoroughly drunk off his unfortunate beverage, wolf whistled.

Remus cleared his throat.

"Well, I'm next," he said, a little too brightly, "or is it you, Marlene?"

"No, you go," Marlene said, flushed, finally breaking eye contact with Sirius.

"Righto, I'll have a dare, please," Remus said. As the group awkwardly began to discuss dares, Sirius just kept looking at her. She'd blushed bright, bright red, and her eyes glistened with wetness. Then, it dawned on him. I'm in love with her. Fuck. I'm in love with her.

Before Sirius could say or do anything, however, Marlene jumped up.

"ExcusemeIneedthebathroom," she mumbled like it was all one word.

"Wait, Marlene-" Sirius began, rising to his feet, but she didn't listen. She just kept walking, stumbling out of the room. He rounded on his friends.

"I'm going to murder both you-" he pointed at James, before gesturing at Lily.

"What, you guys knew about this?" Mary asked, mouth agape.

"It's… complicated," Lily sighed, but Sirius interrupted her.

"No," he spat, "it isn't. I told you, and you didn't keep your promise."

"Mate," James said sternly, "watch your tone."

Sirius looked at his best friend for a moment, fuming. Then, saying nothing, he stalked out the room.

He found her in the orangery off the kitchen, looking out the glass into the dark garden. A single candle was on a table, barely lighting the space. As he stood in the doorway, squinting into the darkness, he could hear her crying. That sound made his heart constrict.

"Hey," he said softly, and she jumped. She looked over her shoulder, and upon realising who it was, turned back, fiercely wiping her face.

"What do you want?" she asked, her voice betraying her tears.

"To talk," he said, walking across the room. He noted how good she looked in that jumpsuit from behind. Not the time, he thought to himself crossly.

Sirius perched on the arm of a rattan chair, and drew Marlene to face him, rubbing his hands up and down her bare arms.

"C'mere," he said.

"Did you do that just to embarrass me?" she asked, the question flooding out like water. "Cus that wasn't fair, Sirius."

"No." The word hung in the air between them, tiny and yet enormous. "God, no," he laughed.

"Then, why?"

He reached and brushed the tears from her cheeks, running his thumb gently under each eye in turn. He pulled her closer still, until her nose was millimetres from his, and he could count the constellations in her eyes. In lieu of words, he simply leant forward, meeting her lips again with his. This time, he pressed his tongue into her mouth, moaning with the taste of her. Marlene pressed forward, one hand on his leg and the other resting against his chest, while he tangled his fingers through her hair. I'm going to die, he thought, this phenomenal girl is actually going to kill me.

They pulled apart, lust flushed on both their faces.

"Why do you think?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow. The look on her face told him everything - she felt the same.

They hurried up the three flights of stairs to the attic, Sirius dragging her by the hand. As soon as they were in his room, he pushed her back against the door. Where the kiss downstairs had been gentle, full of heart and love, this was passionate and fiery, a fight between the two of them. If the orangery had been Sirius and Marlene, he thought wickedly, then this was most certainly Black and McKinnon. As he kissed and caressed her, he left bright red blooms on her neck, running his hands up and down the curves of her body as he did so.

Her halter came undone, and soon the jumpsuit was on the floor; they, meanwhile, made it to the bed. When she was laid out before him, it was breathtaking. God, he could explore her for hours, run his lips and tongue over every inch of her; pull the soft skin on her collarbone with his teeth, marking her as his. He wanted to soak her up, all that pale, cream body before him, explore all of her secrets and hidden gems. He wanted to plant kisses from her sweet, full lips down her neck, across her décolletage and down her cleavage line between her breasts, going further and further below. He pressed himself against her, the full weight of his body against her. In the library, he'd felt like a giant pressed into a too-small space when he'd been beside her; now, it felt right. Sirius bit down on her lip, extracting a hiss of pain, and Marlene pulled on the back of his hair in retaliation. That's my girl, he thought.

His shirt was next to go, and then he was on his back. Kissing him still, she ran her hands over his abs, raking her fingernails over them gently, and he felt a jump south of his navel. Dream girl, in his bed, in her underwear - Sirius could barely cope.

Marlene reached for his belt buckle, and something dawned on him. As much as he wanted her - the tightness in his jeans attested to that - he shook his head, taking her hands in his.

"What, after all that, you don't want me?" Marlene pouted.

"No, I do," Sirius laughed, "but we're both too drunk. Gotta know you want it."

"I do want it," she said, matter of fact.

"When I blow your mind in bed, I want you to remember it." Sirius winked, then rolled onto his side, and patted the space next to him. "C'mere."

Marlene lay down, settling into the little nook between his arms and his chest. Sirius nestled his nose into her hair, breathing in the scent of her shampoo.

"You smell like apples," he said, softly. Marlene chuckled.

"Love it when you talk dirty to me," she quipped, and Sirius huffed out a laugh, squeezing her tighter to him in retaliation. The nape of her neck lay before him, her hair tucked to one side, and he bent his head to kiss it. Marlene emitted a soft moan, and goosebumps puckered her skin.

"Can't stop thinking about you," Sirius whispered, between kisses on her neck and shoulder.

"Ditto," she breathed back.

"Not since I kissed you in the common room," he continued, "not since we fought, not since we made up."

"Hell of a long time to wait on someone to get laid. Not like you."

"Don't do that," he said gently, lips pulling on her earlobe, "don't push me away."

"I'm not," Marlene said, her voice tiny.

"Yes, you are," Sirius replied, now peppering her jaw line with kisses. "I want you."

"Really?" Marlene asked, and Sirius could hear the sleep in her voice, its fingers wrapping round her, her eyelids drooping.

"Really," he replied.

He took it back, every time he'd said it - this would be the hangover that killed him. Waking to the harsh light - obviously he'd forgotten to close the curtains - Sirius could barely think or feel anything outside of the throbbing in his head and the extreme nausea. Opening his eyes had been a terrible idea. Could he make it to the bathroom to throw up, he wondered.

Then, the flashbacks started. The library, and holding her hand. The truth-or-dare and James looking straight at him, as though he knew absolutely everything, and telling him kiss the girl you like, Sirius. The kiss, that had been just as good as the first one, and then the orangery, and the stairs, and more kissing. And then his room, and her jumpsuit and his shirt coming off, and just so much flesh before him, and saying no to sex for the first time in his life, and-

He reached his hand out, feeling for the other side of the bed. He turned his head with his eyes still closed, waiting for the spinning to settle before opening them.

The only thing on the bed was a note, written in the near perfect cursive he knew well from observing it written next to him in Transfiguration for nearly seven years.

I'm sorry - didn't want things to be weird. Had to get home, so I'll see you back at Hogwarts. M x

Sirius crumpled the paper in his hand. Now he didn't know if the sickness was the alcohol, or his heart.