AN: I just wanted to take a moment and thank everyone who is reading this, liking it, and commenting. I never thought that anyone would so it really means a lot to me when I see that people other than me enjoy this story. Also the last chapter was pretty much the end of the prologue and now we are entering events that should actually seem familiar, and in this chapter things are going to bounce around a little and you'll kinda get to see how their bond is more unique than others. Hope you guys enjoy it, and thank you once again.
Chapter 6: The World Taught Us Differently
"Well at least you know your gal's exotic, that's gotta be a pretty major hint."
Bucky turned to look at his best friend, "Stevie I know you're trying to help and I appreciate it, but it's not exactly working."
Ever since he could read Bucky had been looking for a clue as to what the words on his right wrist said. He had been a part of the lucky ones who were born with their words, never having to wonder if there was someone out there for them. The only downside to it was that his words weren't in English.
Sannr Ast
Nobody knew what the words meant and if he were being completely honest it was quite discouraging not to be able to read the first words his soulmate would say to him. Don't get him wrong, Bucky cherished the words he truly did, after all they were the words that would trigger the beginning of something wonderful. He just wished that he was able to translate them.
When he was younger everyone said he had the face of a heartbreaker. And maybe he would break a few hearts in his lifetime, but never for the reason that everyone thought. He was firmly dedicated to his soulmate and if that broke a few ladies' hearts then so be it. There was only one heart he was worried about, and he would do everything in his power to prove how much he adored it when the time came.
Even if such sentiments did cause his little sister Rebecca to tease him about it.
Of course, he could have had it much worse. There was the occasional poor bastard who got something like "hello" as their first words and had to be on constant alert in case they accidentally missed them. But Bucky was in an entirely different category. He wondered if he'd ever be able to communicate with his soulmate, or if the words simply meant that one day he would travel to some place new and meet her.
But then the war started and Bucky realized that it wasn't exactly a good time to have the words of a foreigner inked on your skin.
He had taken to wearing longer sleeves, knowing that if someone dared to make a negative comment about his soulmate that he would have no choice but to lay them out. Bucky could put up with a lot of things, but he drew the lie at any disrespect being directed towards her.
Didn't matter if he had yet to meet her, she was his and he was hers. And that's the only thing that Bucky needed to know.
So when the day came where he was eligible to enlist there was only one thing on his mind. It wasn't his family and how much they might miss him while he was gone, and it wasn't that Stevie might feel betrayed that he was going to do this without him.
Bucky thought that this might be his only chance to go find his girl, and he wasn't going to miss it.
Funny enough the idea of zip lining onto a moving train was not the weirdest thing that existed in Bucky's life. After all he had seen Steve after they experimented on him. And a full-grown Steve Rogers, who ended up slightly taller than him, was certainly taking the cake for the most shocking thing he'd ever seen.
He'd never admit it but he had definitely thought that he was dreaming when he first saw Steve, because that was not the same kid he had left back home.
All in all he was proud of how far his friend had come, and even though they were in the middle of a war, Bucky was grateful to have him by his side. He was content to follow Captain America on whatever mission they were given because it meant following Steve, and he knew first hand that Steven Grant Rogers had a heart of gold.
"Remember when I made you ride the Cyclone at Coney Island?" Bucky was standing right next to Steve, staring out onto the tracks while the cold wind whipped around them.
"Yeah, and I threw up?"
Bucky couldn't help but ask, "This isn't payback, is it?"
Steve glanced over at him, "Now why would I do that?" His lips tugging upwards gave him away.
Bucky had to chuckle a little, this was exactly why he would always follow his friend. He had a way of making things easier. Even though he was standing on the side of a mountain about to do something dangerous, Steve still had him amused.
But he soon realized that this mission was different. Things had been going smoothly, but then they took a sudden turn that had him terrified.
Bucky had known fear before.
He knew fear when walking in on Steve getting his ass handed to him in an alley by a guy three times his size.
He knew it when he signed his signature on those enlistment papers.
He knew it when he was being shot at and when Zola had strapped him down and tortured him to the point where he could only repeat his identification numbers.
He knew it when they had to zip line down onto a moving train.
He knew it when he was hanging onto the thin railing for dear life, reaching for Steve's outstretched hand as he hung over the large crevasse below.
Steve was yelling his name and telling him to hang on as he inched his way closer and closer to where he was. "Grab my hand!" Bucky was trying but the railing that he was hanging onto was unsteady and broken.
And when it gave way Bucky made one last attempt to reach Steve's hand, just barely grazing his fingertips.
Correction. Bucky thought he knew fear.
But it wasn't until he was falling towards his inevitable death that he truly understood the emotion. Fear was leaving his soulmate all alone in the world without ever getting to tell her just how in love he was with her, even never having met her liked he planned to.
Having the other half of his soul out there never get to know that she was cherished? Never getting to hold her in his arms or kiss every inch of her face? Never getting to exchange those three little words that he had saved all for her?
Now that was fear.
When he landed he was miraculously still awake and there was a white-hot searing pain coming from his left arm, but he didn't dare look over at it. He had fallen facedown with the left side of him out towards the edge of the cliff and knew that whatever it was that was hurting couldn't be good.
Bucky could feel his eyes start to flutter shut and thought that of all the things in his life the most unfair was that the words on his soulmate's wrist would turn a dull grey and she would never know why.
He closed his eyes and dreamed of a warm hand on his cheek.
A shiver ran up Elysia's spine suddenly out of nowhere. She had been in the middle of one of her many lessons with Frigga, it felt like they were never ending, and this time she was practicing with Loki. Today's lesson was on a relatively new subject, how to control the raging energy that resided all around her.
Something had changed within her the night her soulmate was born. There was this new intense protective need within her, telling her the she now had someone out there who would require her watchful eye. Elysia was older than her soulmate, by a whole 850 years, which in the grand scheme of things was not actually all that long. Regardless of the age gap Elysia felt it was now her duty to learn all she could about how to use her gifts for defensive purposes in case one day she'd have to fight for her soulmate. She would become the warrior they needed her to be.
She often wondered if this strong protective need was something her brothers' felt when she was born. They certainly played the role of guard dogs well enough, never once letting the other children besides Sif be alone with her, never mind if it was one of the younger boys. Not that she had any interest in them anyway.
Elysia practically had blinders on when it involved her soulmate. She would only love one person and there was no one in all the nine realms who would change her mind. It did not matter how strong they were, how charming they may be, or how bravely they carried themselves in the face of danger. In her eyes they would never outshine her soulmate.
If her soul trail was correct then her mate was in fact in a different realm. But still the next morning she had gone and asked her father if there had been any new births the night before, a slight part of her wanting to be absolutely sure that they were not on Asgard.
Every night before bed Elysia would head down the Bifrost and just sit and stare at the trail her soul left while it was off in search of her other half. Frigga had taken one look at her words and told her that her soulmate was definitely male, something about how she could practically taste the jealousy and how only men would jump to such rash conclusions.
"Chin up darling, you'll get this in no time. Just concentrate on what you want to do, imagine the energy flowing out of you and covering Loki."
Elysia shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts, before she focused back on Loki and what her mother had just told her to do. She held her arms out in front of her and with a small nod of reassurance from Loki she tried to picture a golden film covering her brother's entire form.
There was barely the smallest hint of a shimmer before her left arm was hit with a fierce pain that had her jerking her arm back towards her. It faded into a dull sensation as it continued to twitch.
"Sister are you alright?" Worry was ever present in Loki's tone, he was not sure what had just happened but Elysia's face had scrunched up in pain. When she did not respond he glanced over at his mother, taking note of the familiar worry etched across her face that he was sure could be seen on his, and took a couple steps towards Elysia.
None of them noticed the words on Elysia's right wrist had started to get lighter, a clear indication that one's soulmate was on the verge of death. Or perhaps it was a good thing that Elysia did not notice, because if she had she might have brought the entirety of Asgard down in her grief.
There was no greater pain than the loss of a soulmate. And every person in the entire universe prayed that they would never have to experience such a tragedy.
Elysia was so focused on her arm that she did not realize that Loki had asked her a question until he was grasping ahold of her arm gently to bring it closer to him. "Elysia, what is causing you pain?" His question grounded her and she looked up to meet his eyes.
Loki had recently hit a growth spurt and had shot up past her. Thor had always been taller than her but Loki had been closer to her height for the majority of their lives, so having to crane her neck up just to meet his eyes was a new development.
Concern flared in his eyes when he noticed the glazed look in her's. Instead of making her answer his question Loki moved onto examining the limb she held close to her body, noticing that there seemed to be nothing wrong with it. He looked back at her face and saw the confusion there. Perhaps this was nothing more than a side effect of trying to harness the energy, after all she was still fairly new to actually using it. Loki abandoned her arm in favor of drawing her closer to his chest and running his hand through her hair, knowing by now what to do if she needed soothing.
Elysia relaxed into his chest and tried to ignore the echo of pain that still ran across the nerve endings of her arm. This seemed to be another one of the weird things happening to her. First she dreamed of a strange man on his deathbed, and now her arm was in pain when she had done nothing to hurt it. She was distracted by the hand in her hair and gave into the comfort it brought.
Frigga watched the two of them from her place on the other side of the room in muted sadness. She regretted the reason the siblings were so close to one another, especially Loki and Elysia. Being queen meant that she could not always spend the time she desired with her children, in fact it had driven one child away from her completely.
So it came as no shock to her when the three of them preferred to go to each other when they were upset or injured. There was a small part of her that wished her children needed her more than each other. She knew they loved her in a way that only children could love a mother, and that would have to suffice.
Frigga watched Loki stroke Elysia's hair and supposed that this was the price of her reign. A heavier price than she thought it'd be.
Bucky remembered what was happening in flashes. He remembered Hydra finding him in the snow and dragging him back to their base. He remembered looking down and seeing that his left arm wasn't there, everything from the elbow and down was simply gone.
He also remembered that god awful pain from when they sawed off the rest until all he had left was a stub at his shoulder when an arm should have resided.
He thanked god for the small miracle of not losing his right arm. If he had to survive and never see those beautiful words again, he would have died a different kind of death again and again every day.
He was so in and out that he wasn't really aware of what was going on. He filled his fleeting thoughts with memories of his family and small Stevie, wishing more than ever that he had just stayed back in Brooklyn. Home was the only thing that was getting him through this, that and holding out hope that any second Steve would come barreling in, complete with his iconic shield, and get him out of here.
They had been dragging him into this machine constantly and the days were starting to blend together. He wasn't sure what the machine was actually supposed to do, but he knew that it hurt. It felt like his brain was on fire and every time they shut it off he had to fight to hold onto his precious memories.
He tried fighting them, tried struggling and throwing his body weight around, but with only one arm he couldn't do much when they forced him into restraints. Bucky tried to understand what they were saying about him but all he got was a few whispered words about a successful brand of super soldier serum, and even that made no sense to him.
This cycle continued for what felt like days, but with him falling in and out of consciousness he couldn't be quite sure.
Bucky felt a heavy weight on the left side of him that caused him to wake up. There were gloved hands in front of him that were attached to what looked like doctors. He was still dazed from whatever drug they were pumping in him but he could clearly see a metal hand where his flesh one had previously been.
He lifted it slightly and was astounded when it actually moved. He tried closing it in a fist, still not firmly convinced that it was attached to him. But once again the arm reflected the action.
Somewhere off to the side he heard a German accented voice ring out across the room. It sounded familiar but he couldn't place it no matter how hard he tried. When he tried to pull a memory up there was nothing there. "You are to be the new fist of Hydra."
As soon as Bucky understood what was happening he reached out and grabbed onto the throat of the scientist closest to him. He may not have remembered who was talking but he did know that Hydra was the enemy and could not be trusted.
There was a sharp prick in his side and he looked over to see a small German man wearing glasses holding up an empty syringe. Before Bucky could reach out and grab onto the man he could feel the familiar sense of nothingness beckon him.
Bucky could no longer ignore the holes in his memories, or chalk them up to the results of the trauma he was going through. Hydra was doing something to him and the metal arm that they had placed on him could only mean that worse things were to come.
How he wished that Steve would come soon.
Bucky was still fighting with everything that he had to make sure that he didn't give in to what Zola wanted. He would never work for Hydra, he'd rather die.
But apparently Hydra was ready to fight his determination with everything they had in their arsenal. Because after one particularly exhausting session with that machine Bucky was close to caving.
There was a flash of blonde hair in his mind's eye, attached to a scrawny looking young man and Bucky knew that somehow the man was familiar. But for the life of him he could not remember his name. In fact he couldn't even remember how he got here or where it was he was at exactly. The only thing he had been repeating to himself constantly was that Hydra was not to be trusted, but even then he couldn't remember what Hydra was.
He was so exhausted that he couldn't even fight it when there were arms lifting him and moving him somewhere else. He barely had enough sense to hear an order being thrown out across the room.
"Put him on ice. That might make him more pliable."
Bucky didn't know what that was, but it didn't sound very good. Nothing they did to him here could have been classified as good or even humane.
He was placed inside what felt like a tube and they enclosed him in it. There was barely enough room to even move his hands and Bucky could feel the beginnings of claustrophobia kick in. Tight spaces had never bothered him before, but laying inside this thing was definitely causing him some panic.
He tried to reach out for the small window that was right in front of his face but ice surrounded him first and before he knew it he was frozen in time, all consciousness fading from his body.
Back on Asgard Elysia had been in her room practicing her dancing skills for the next banquet. Loki, and surprisingly Thor, had both offered to help her learn, claiming that they would be the only two dancing with her anyways. Elysia had politely declined, wanting to be somewhat acceptable before anyone other than her mirror watched her twirl around the room.
Mid dip Elysia was hit with a sudden chill. The room seemed to get colder and the temperature was rapidly getting worse. Her limbs felt sluggish as she made her way to the fireplace in her room. She sat right in front of it, as close as she could get, and tried fruitlessly to take in the heat.
The cold ache felt as though it had sunken into her bones and taken root there. She truly believed that she could have walked straight into the fire and still would not have felt its warmth.
Her teeth chattered and she rubbed her hands up and down her arms vigorously, trying to push warmth back into her skin. What in the name of the Allfathers was happening to her?
He tried to hold on, truly he did, but between the cryofreezing, the torture, and the brainwashing, Hydra had won. Bucky was silenced the second the Winter Soldier was born.
He wasn't Bucky, hell he wasn't even James at this point, he was simply Winter. And though he tried to hide it, Winter was very curious about the words on his wrist. He did his best to feign nonchalance whenever he was around the scientists or his new handler Müller, because he knew all too well that Hydra did not appreciate curiosity.
At least they didn't when it came to him.
Winter was not supposed to question his orders or the reasons why he was assigned certain targets. It was for that reason that Winter assumed he was also not allowed to question his soul words. He didn't have much of anything really, only a few items of clothing and a few guns, but he knew enough about soulmates to know that whoever was on the other end of these words was someone who he could call his own.
He tried to remember anything he could about the words but every time he tried there was a searing pain in his head, and eventually he gave up on turning to forgotten memories in search of clues.
"It's written in an ancient language."
Winter's head shot up and he silently cursed himself for letting someone sneak up on him. He had been staring at the words and had gotten caught up in them. Winter watched General Müller cautiously, wondering if he was going to be punished for succumbing to such distractions.
If Hydra thought the words were a hindrance to his performance Winter had no doubts that they would try to remove them entirely. He would never show it but the thought caused him great pain and made his heart beat faster. Soulmates were common knowledge and he had overheard a few scientists discussing them one time. The way they made it sound was something Winter craved deep in his soul.
Something that would be completely his. Something that no one had the right to take away from him.
General Müller continued speaking, oblivious to where the asset's thoughts had drifted. "We've done multiple searches, and we have people researching constantly, but we still cannot find the original translation. It's peculiar that your soulmate would know such a language, but then again the world holds many unanswered mysteries."
Winter wondered if Müller was going anywhere with this. He still looked relatively composed so Winter wasn't quite sure whether or not this was going to be a good visit, or one that ended with him strapped to another table leaving the scientists to poke and prod at him.
Realizing that he was wasting time trying to make conversation with the asset Müller moved onto his true purpose, his voice ringing flat around the room. "You have new orders. You are to bring the person who speaks these words," The man lifted Winter's arm and pointed at the black script that rested on his wrist, "back here. It does not matter where you are or who is giving you orders, this is to surpass them all. Do you understand?"
Winter was slightly confused but nodded his head in cooperation anyway. He was to bring the person who spoke his words back to Hydra, this was mission objective one and was not to be compromised. But a thought occurred to him, perhaps if he was able to accomplish this mission they would reward him by letting his soulmate stay with him in the base. Winter did not like people touching his things, but if it meant that he just had to hand her over to Hydra to be examined and then he could get her back then he supposed that would be acceptable.
He only had a small room with one bed, and it was heavily guarded at all times, but he could definitely fit a small body in there with him so space would not be an issue.
The general smiled, but there was nothing warm about it, and motioned for one of the scientists to come closer. "Wipe him. We need to be sure that the order will stick no matter what he is made to forget."
The words caused Winter to flinch, he didn't remember much of anything but the pain of that machine was unforgettable and he did not long to go through it again. He knew he had two options, fight against going back in the chair, or comply. He didn't want to give the General any reason to take his soulmate away once he retrieved her, so he stood, regardless of the weight on his chest and planted himself in that unforgiving seat.
They placed something in his mouth for him to bite down on and he braced himself when they placed the wires on his temple.
The general watched as the asset tried to contain his screams with a blank face as electricity coursed through his brain, rewriting the memories and knowledge it held. His previous handler did not think to issue an order that would draw the asset's soulmate straight to them. Zola had been a fool for thinking that it would not be an issue. Müller knew the power one's soulmate could have over someone and he would not lose his asset to something as trivial as love.
Once the soulmate was in his grasp he would have complete control over the Winter Soldier and there would be nothing anyone could do to stop him. This was certainly a great contingency plan to have when trying to tame an assassin whose memory was faulty at best.
When the wiping process was complete the asset was still holding onto the arms of the chair, the side in his metal grip was bent beyond recognition, and he had turned pale. A sheen of sweat was ever present on his forehead as his eyes tried to adjust. "Asset" Müller was confident that the results would be in his favor.
Winter was trying to get his bearings back when Müller addressed him. He had no other choice but to bring his head up, ignoring the pain it caused, and snap to attention. The action was so involuntary, after a few years of brainwashing certain things had been ingrained into him. Like obeying his handler's orders no matter what.
Seeing that he held his attention, General Müller decided to put his theory to the test. "Recite mission objective one."
"Retrieve soulmate and bring her back to handler." The words held no tone nor feeling, it was simply stated as a fact. Because that's what everyone wanted from him. They didn't want a person, they wanted a machine.
Müller smiled and clapped his hands together. The test had been successful and he felt as though this order could only bring benefits for Hydra. He motioned to the agents in the corners of the room, "Escort him back to his room, he is done for the day."
Once the armed men had deposited him back in his room, Winter waited until they closed the door before he leaned into the wall, still trying to calm his racing heartbeat and stop his shaking hands. Wiping him always had a few side effects and he did his best to hide them from the scientists, knowing that if they saw they would just want to run more tests.
When he finally felt more like himself he looked around his barren room and his eyes fell onto his bed. He could definitely fit a small body on there with him, it would mean he would have to hold her to him for there to be enough space but that thought really didn't bother him.
There was something small in the back of his mind that seemed to be screaming that this place was not safe for his soulmate, but he pushed it away. His handler had given him specific orders and he would not fail.
When he pushed that small voice back all that was left of James Buchanan Barnes was tucked away and the only thing that remained in his place was Winter.
And that would have to be enough.
In recent times there had been a few things that had caused Elysia a great deal of confusion. She had not mentioned her episodes with the cold to anyone, not wanting to burden them or take up their time with something that might have been insignificant.
But she might have to tell them about this, because there was no way that they couldn't hear her at the moment.
She had been sleeping peacefully when there was a sensation that rang throughout her body. It was as if someone had cast lightning straight through her brain. It burned and there seemed to be no end to the pain.
Elysia flung her head back and tugged on her hair as she let out an unholy scream.
Thor bolted out of his bed at the sound of Elysia's tortured cries. Fearing the worst, he grabbed his sword and rushed to his sister's room, murderous intent in his every footstep at the thought of someone hurting her.
Kicking open her door Thor saw that Loki was attempting to calm a kicking and screaming Elysia, trying to pry her hands from her hair lest she rip it out. Aside from that there was no intruder to be found and Thor dropped his sword in slight relief.
Loki looked up at the sound and noticed Thor standing still in the doorway. He had been trying to calm their little sister to no avail and it was taking a toll on him. "Brother... please" Loki could not formulate anything beyond that, but the cry for help was interwoven into those two small words all the same.
At his pleading tone Thor snapped into action and slipped into the bed behind Elysia so that he could wrap his arms around her and limit her struggles. He placed his forehead on the back of her head and rocked them back and forth. Loki placed both hands on her cheeks and let his magic caress her skin, letting her know that they were here and she was safe.
The boys were silently debating whether or not to drag her back to Eir when Elysia's screams suddenly cut off. Tears were still pouring out of her eyes at a rapid pace.
After a few minutes she went limp in his hold, completely exhausted, the only thing keeping her from passing out was the aftershocks of pain that ran through her head. Elysia was babbling, unaware that she was speaking for the pain was too great for her to concentrate on anything. "Help him please, you must save him."
Thor had not ceased his rocking and spoke in a soft voice so as to keep her calm, "Save who sister?"
In a moment of shining clarity she locked eyes with him and breathed out, "He couldn't hold on and he's falling." She kept repeating the last two words as her eyes closed and she drifted off to sleep, the episode making her tired.
Though they were worried, the boys did not take her back to Eir. If Elysia woke up in the morning and decided that she needed to see the healer than they would let her make that choice, but for the moment all they wanted to do was curl up beside her and rest for the night.
"She shouldn't have to deal with this you know."
Thor looked over at Loki and noticed that the younger boy had already gotten under the fur blankets and was now staring at him blankly. He sighed but did not argue, "No, it is not fair."
"Elysia will never admit it but she misses you. You need to be around more, she needs both of us and you cannot always be gallivanting around with those three commoners." The words were sharp and intended to injure upon release. However Loki would never be caught admitting that it wasn't just Elysia who missed their older brother.
Thor did not possess the energy to correct his brother and stand up for his friends. And if the look in Loki's eye was any indicator than it was clear that he was more hurt than mad. And everyone knew that Loki would rather lash out than speak about how he was truly feeling. Thinking back to the past few years he winced as he remembered throwing excuse after excuse at his siblings as to why he could not make time for them that day.
"I have done you both a disservice when it comes to being the eldest and I shall strive to remedy it immediately." They were not just empty words, Thor fully intended on righting his wrong. He should have noticed what he was doing but he did not, and he took full responsibility.
Loki's eyes softened slightly before he turned around so that he could play it off as merely shifting to get more comfortable. "See to it that you do."
Thor waited until both his siblings were asleep before he even thought about closing his eyes, wanting to make sure to catch any potential night terrors before they could take hold. That night he dreamed about all the things in their lives that were supposed to be different. Little did he know that the other two children were doing the same.
Elysia had thought that after the birth of her soulmate things were meant to get better and her future clearer.
Loki had thought that the older he and his siblings got the closer they would become.
And Thor thought that his family might once be free from the torment that seemed to attach itself to them like a shadow.
But alas the world had taught them differently.
AN: First off, I totally just created a random general cause I needed one and yes, I did just google a German name that would work. Second, I did some research into the Old Norse language and apparently there's really no exact word for soulmate and the closest that anything comes to it is Sannr (which means true) and Ast (which means love). So the best I could get was a rough translation of "true love". So that's what Bucky's words mean if anyone was wondering.