I'm waiting in the Zoom room for Edward to join. He's been in Virginia for about six weeks by himself, and while we've talked on the phone and texted, this is the first time we'll be seeing each other face-to-face. He's been working so hard, and I've been trying to support him as much as possible from here while I've been sorting through my own issues.
I hear the chime that lets me know someone is joining, and I click on Edward's name to admit him to the room. It takes a moment for him to connect, but once he's there, he smiles and sighs.
"Hey you."
"Hey, how was your week?" I settle back against my couch cushions and listen as Edward's voice fills the silence in my condo.
"It was good. Busy but good. Before we really get into it, I need to tell you something." Edward bites his lip, and I feel my stomach clench a little.
"What's going on?" I take a steadying breath.
"We're deploying."
Okay. "When?"
"After the new year, so in about five months." Edward frowns.
"And for how long?" I ask.
"Six to eight months. I know this potentially changes our timeline, but I want you to think about coming out before I leave." He smiles again, and I think of how much I'll have to accomplish in that amount of time.
"That's asking a lot, Edward. I don't even have that job lined up yet." I pick at my nails, trying not to be discouraged. "I just started therapy, and I don't want to impede any progress."
"I know, and I'm so proud of you, but I just want you to think about it, okay?" If his voice sounds pleading, I ignore the tone.
"Okay, I will." We talk about the previous week and how things are going for each of us. When it's clear that he wants to discuss my moving, I let him.
He has a plan and big dreams for me moving to be with him before he leaves. The more he talks about it, the more excited I get and the more I remember that I jumped into this idea feet first when he first mentioned it to me over a year ago. I said yes blindly. I was ready then, what's really stopping me now?
"Edward, I'll talk to my boss on Monday, okay? He knew this was going to come up sooner or later." Smiling, I can see his eyes light up even through my laptop screen.
"Really? I don't want to push you into anything."
"You're not. We're in this together. Besides, I'd rather have a handle on the place and the area before you leave rather than trying to figure it all out when you get back and you're trying to acclimate." I reach for the notepad and pen I keep on my coffee table to start making a list of things that need to be done.
"Bella, I love you. I want you here with me when you're ready. If we can make it work sooner than later, I'll be so happy. But I can wait for you." I feel my insides turn to mush, and I blow Edward a kiss.
"Let's make a plan."