Chapter 10 – Underworld

Author's Note: This fic may or may not be half done after this chapter. I have Plans, but I have no idea how they'll play out. Lol.

WARNING: Self-harm, suicidal thoughts/feelings, blood, and general darkness!

~ Amina Gila

Anakin has no idea how long they've been running through the pipes, though the occasionally ankle-deep water, taking twists and turns as they try to lose their clone pursuers while finding an exit from which they can escape into the Underworld. A part of him can't even believe that this is really happening, that he and Ahsoka are on the run from the Republic, because they're being framed for a crime they never committed.

He doesn't think about it though, can't given that it'll make him come undone entirely. All he can do is take this one step at a time, like he has every single day since… since It started, since Obi-Wan shattered his trust and his heart.

Obi-Wan is close, though; Anakin can feel him, and he stumbles over nothing in the pipe when he feels his once master probing at their bond, getting increasingly closer. Anakin locks down on his shields, trying to close everything off, but he doesn't know if he's really succeeded at hiding in the Force, not when Obi-Wan is already so close. He can hope, but he… doesn't know.

Ahsoka glances at him, though she doesn't have the air to try and ask him anything. Instead, she sends a quiet wave of encouragement through their bond, an emotion that is still mingled with an underlying sense of despair and confusion. Neither of them knows who could have done this, who would be willing to go this far. They're missing important pieces of the puzzle, but even without proper resources, Anakin is confident that he can unravel it. He's done more with less and the Force is with him. It is always with him.

The clones nearly catch them once – they must have been drawn from the sound of splashing – so after they lose them, they duck around the side and wait, trying to simply breath.

It's then that Obi-Wan catches up with them.

"Anakin, Ahsoka, I know you're around here," Obi-Wan calls, his footsteps growing closer.

Anakin nudges Ahsoka's arm and they take off running again, sprinting around a corner and finally, finally seeing an opening. If they jump, they'll be free. They stand at the exit, looking down, looking into the Underworld of Coruscant. It could be so easy to lose themselves there, to hide and disappear among the millions, billions even, of people. That's what he wants. That's what they need. So why does he feel so… guilty about running?

"Anakin!" He nearly jumps when he hears Obi-Wan's voice, and he looks back despite himself, fear warring with shame when he sees the disappointment – and exhaustion – in Obi-Wan's eyes. "You need to stop this," he commands. "We need to go back to the Council. You can't run forever. You'll be caught eventually, and the longer you run, the guiltier you'll look. What were you even thinking entering the prison like that when you were barred?"

Anakin feels the air catch in his throat, and he doesn't know if he wants to cry or scream more. "I had to see her, Master," he blurts out before he can stop himself, stepping closer to Ahsoka. "I had to. She's my Padawan. I had to make sure that she was alright. They had no right to stop me!" He hardly even knows where this is coming from anymore. Perhaps his utter despair at the knowledge that the Jedi will never trust him anymore, that all of his hard work has been shattered because of a stupid mistake.

But Ahsoka. He couldn't have abandoned her like that in there. It would have been wrong, and he would have been chasing her now, hunting her down like she's no more than another common criminal. The mere thought makes him sick.

"I don't believe that you did this, either of you," Obi-Wan tells them, "But you are making yourselves look even guiltier by running. If you come back, I'm sure we can find a way of fixing this and finding out who is behind all of it."

"No," Ahsoka replies before Anakin can, shaking her head, firmly, "I'm sorry, Master Kenobi, but I can't do that. I was being set up. Whoever did it knew what they were doing. They planned this whole thing, and we have no idea where to start looking. There are factors at play here that we don't understand. If we go back, we'll be playing right into their hands. We have to leave."

As much as Anakin hates to admit it, Ahsoka is right. They don't know who is behind this, where to start looking. They have no idea how deep this conspiracy is running, much less what will happen to them if they do go back. "She's right," he admits quietly.

Obi-Wan takes a step forward. "Don't do it," he warns when Ahsoka looks towards a transport ship that's slowly lowering down into the Underworld, a perfect escape route. "Don't do it, Anakin." It's an order, and he sounds… almost angry, disbelieving.

"I'm sorry, Master," he whispers, taking a step back, to the very edge of the exit, "But after what I did…" He trails off for a moment, fighting a wave of pain that's enough to take his breath away. He wants to curl into a tiny ball and disappear entirely. Even death sounds preferable to living right now, and he hates it. He hates how he feels. He hates feeling so depressed and… wrong, but he doesn't know how to fix it either. He doesn't know how to fix anything. All he seems to be doing is making things worse and worse, so maybe – maybe if he wasn't here, everything would be alright.

(He knows that's not true. He knows that Sidious would have carried on with his plans even if Anakin wasn't here. He knows that the aftermath of Sidious' death is merely a result of his contingency plans, and not because Anakin actually did anything to make the situation so bad.)

But that doesn't take into account how bad he's making everything by acting stupid and irrational, letting his feelings for Ahsoka cloud his judgment. Stupid. Stupid. How could he have been so stupid?

"You know I can't go back. It was… foolish of me," he admits, "But if I go back, I'll face penalties, even if I'm not convicted of being the mastermind of the bombing. If I run, I can figure this out. I can find out who did this. I can prove our innocence."

"No –" Obi-Wan begins, but Anakin cuts him off before he can continue, though he hates how much he's disappointing his former master. He just doesn't want to go to prison before he can find a way of fixing this.

"Trust me, Master," Anakin says, and then, he jumps down, Ahsoka following him. He glances up to see Obi-Wan standing there, expression inscrutable, though there's a distinct feeling of anger and disappointment slipping into the Force around him. He turns away, unable to look at Obi-Wan anymore as shame overwhelms him.

What is wrong with him?

Almost unthinking he reaches up, digging his prosthetic fingers into his left arm, right below the healing blaster burns from their last campaign. It hurts, badly, but he can't stop. It isn't enough. He needs more. Moremoremore. He can't get it though, the release that he's so desperately craving, not without slicing his arm open. At this point though, he doesn't even know if cutting off his own arm, bit by bit, would be enough to quell the emotions threatening to drown him.

"Doesn't that hurt?"

Anakin flinches when he hears Ahsoka's voice; he hadn't really forgotten that she was here, but he hadn't not forgotten either. He blinks, focusing on her face and feeling a million miles away.

"… It doesn't matter," he answers, belatedly, finally managing to string together something more coherent than a scream as he drops his right arm, twisting it behind his back, almost like he's trying to hide it, what he did. He can't, though.

He – Force, Ahsoka saw that. She can't – she can't know how badly he's messed up or she'll leave him as fast as she can, because he's insane. And he is. Insane, that is. Because it is – it's not normal. At all. Padme hadn't been – she hadn't been horrified or disgusted. She had been sympathetic, and it had hurt her to see it. At the time, he had been almost relieved to have someone else who knew, someone who cared about the way he was struggling, but now, he wishes that she didn't ever find out, because then, he could hurt himself without feeling guilt how she'd feel if she knew. And he wants to, needs to. He needs the pain to ground himself, especially right now when his mind is buzzing and restless and –

"Are you okay?"

Ahsoka's voice again breaks through his spiraling thoughts, and he lets out a shuddering breath, nodding jerkily. "Oh. Um… yes, of course," he answers trying to sound convincing and failing miserably. Her brow scrunches as she studies him, and he turns to hide from her prying eyes. "We just – we need to… figure out what to do now."

She stares at him, almost like she's trying to see through him, for another moment, before sighing. "Where will we go now, Anakin?"

"We need to hide," he answers immediately, his mind latching onto the urgency of their situation and refocusing. Hiding was one of the first things he learned as a child; he learned how to read the room, how to sense and understand the feelings of others, how to know when to hide and where to hide when needed. It's – he doesn't know how it makes him feel to have to tap into those skills again, to have to use them to hide from the Republic and the Jedi and Obi-Wan, instead of using them against the Separatists.

Ahsoka doesn't dispute that, and Anakin can't help but notice how she's sticking unusually close to him as they climb from the top of the transport and enter the streets of the Underworld. It's not because she's scared, not of where they are. If she's scared, it's because she's scared for him, and he doesn't much care for the feelings that possible truth might inspire. Not right now.

**w**

Ahsoka pulls the hood over her head a little further down, not that she really can pull it any further down, as she walks next to Anakin, staying in the shadows as much as possible. She'd gotten the cloak from a random passerby, exchanging it for a ration bar. Anakin is good at stealth, scarily so; he's the one who taught it to her, after all, and sometimes, she can't help but wonder how exactly he had to learn it, especially when it seems so fundamentally ingrained into him. Given what she knows about his past, though, she doesn't think she wants to know.

They remain on the move, never staying in the same place for long, fleeing deeper into the Underworld. Ahsoka has no idea where they're going, and she doesn't know if Anakin does, either, but he moves with a strange familiarity, as if he knows his way around places like this. Then again, he probably does, given his… childhood.

Very few people look their way, and they must look quite ordinary to everyone else, wearing hoods over their heads. Anakin has pulled the hood of his robe over his head, and it makes him look like a shadow. He'd probably blend in entirely if not for his Force presence. It's dampened now, shielded, but she can still feel him. She can still feel the way he's bright and strong in the Force, the way that he's drawing on it, following it with an ease that could almost make her jealous if she wasn't so used to it.

But beneath it all, she's… worried. She's worried about him.

Despite the danger around them, Ahsoka can't forget the blank, empty, glazed look in his eyes after they'd jumped onto the transport. It scared her because she never thought she'd see that look in her master's eyes. And most of all, she doesn't understand what's fueling it. He's changed, she's noticed. He's changed a lot, ever since… Hardeen. After that, nothing has been the same. Ahsoka can't quite say what, precisely, has changed, but something undeniably has.

Anakin is… different, now. He's more distant, more withdrawn. He doesn't smile as often, and the spark in his eyes is dimmed, if not gone entirely. The brightness that always drew her to him is more distant. It frightens her, because she has no idea how to deal with her master when he's like this. So, she's tried to be herself, tried to act as she always has, even if she can't help but worry more than she used to.

And after this, after seeing him hurt himself, not even seeming to remember her presence…

Ahsoka knows that she can't stay quiet anymore. She has to talk to someone, has to ask for help, because Anakin is suffering, and she has no idea how to help him. It doesn't make sense to her, why someone would ever do… that, but Anakin has always been different. She can't handle it, but maybe someone else can. If Anakin won't ask for help for himself, then she can ask for him.

She tries to keep those thoughts from mind as they meander through the streets, ducking around corners and moving purposefully through the shadows, never staying in the same place for long. They board a train at one point, and they're nearly caught by police droids; Anakin crushes them with a simple clench of his fist, and the power he displays both terrifies and awes her. It's not something that he has ever done before, not in her presence. Perhaps this is how he was able to kill Sidious, alone.

It makes sense. There's a reason why Anakin is the Chosen One.

They duck into a narrow alley after that, pressing up against a wall together, side by side. Anakin stills, head turning to the side, something sharp and intent in his blue eyes. It's a far cry from the glazed expression of earlier, but it's equally unnerving, because this, too, is not something Ahsoka has ever seen before.

"What?" she whispers.

"Ventress," Anakin replies, voice almost normal, "I know you're there."

The ex-assassin drops down in front of them, hands near her lightsabers, a mask concealing her face. "Skywalker, how unexpected."

"You!" Ahsoka bursts out, taking a step forwards, anger overcoming her. "Was it you who did this? Are you the one who has framed us?!"

Ventress laughs. "No," she answers, her voice strangely distorted by a vocoder in her mask, "I cannot take the credit. There's a bounty on your heads though. It's not one I would ever succeed at collecting, so I won't try."

"That is wise," Anakin answers, levelly, "For your sake. If you cannot help us, then leave."

Ventress looks at them, before shrugging and Force-jumping up onto a higher level. "Take care," she calls back mockingly, "The streets aren't safe for you."

Anakin feels tense, and Ahsoka resists the urge to make a nasty comment as the assassin-turned-bounty-hunter disappears from sight. "What will we do now?" she asks once Ventress is gone. "We have no leads. We have nowhere to start looking."

Her master's expression is strangely placid, a confidence on his face that wasn't there before. "When we were investigating Letta and her movements, remember how we heard, once, about her going to an abandoned warehouse down here?" he asks.

Ahsoka can't help but feel a flash of guilt at Letta's name. Not only did the woman die on Ahsoka's watch, but also, it's her fault that they're in this mess. If she had been more patient and less impulsive, like Anakin is always telling her, none of this would have happened. She feels the instant desire to apologize but quells it, knowing that this is not the time or place. "Yes," she says, in answer to his question, "Vaguely."

"I feel we need to go there," Anakin tells her. "It is… important somehow. The Force is being elusive, but I can sense that much."

She can't sense anything right now, but she trusts Anakin's instincts. If he thinks that's where they need to go, then that's where they'll go. "Let's go," she replies, "It's not as if we have any other leads."

They set out, and it takes them hours, especially since they have to be careful to avoid any clone patrols, or any patrols at all. They're nearly spotted a couple times, though they thankfully manage to avoid being caught; it probably helps that they're both wearing hoods that somewhat, at least, shroud their features.

And while Ahsoka didn't sense anything in the Force at the beginning, she can feel a dull ringing, a warning of impending danger as they draw closer. Something isn't right, but that fact alone makes her think that they might be on the right track.

"Master, do you sense that?" she blurts out finally, ignoring how tired she is. She's been through worse; this is nothing. "Something is wrong."

"I feel it," Anakin responds, distractedly, as they step into the warehouse itself. "It is…" His eyes widen as the Force flares with alarm, and he spins, shoving Ahsoka with the Force. She flies across the room, hitting the floor as something crashes down towards where she was just standing, slamming into Anakin. He goes down, stunned, though he's not unconscious.

"Master!" she cries, scrambling to her feet. This abandoned warehouse is a death trap. It's falling apart all around them. It takes her a moment to realize that it's a trap of a whole other nature when a blue lightsaber slashes towards her. She grunts, ducking out of the way and drawing her own blades to block the next strike.

Her attacker is wearing traditional Jedi robes, but their face is masked, so Ahsoka has no idea what their identity is. They're fast and quick and lethal, and Ahsoka knows that she would be better if she wasn't already so worn out. It's nearly dawn by now, and she and Anakin have been on the run for the past ten hours, at least, with hardly a chance to stop and rest or anything.

They spin, hurling a crate towards Anakin's prone form. It smashes into him, and Ahsoka winces on his behalf when she feels him go unconscious. So, she won't be getting any help from him then, not until he awakens. That's fine. She can hold her own against this person, whoever he or she is, regardless of how tired she is.

Twenty minutes later, her conviction has long since fled her as she does her best to avoid getting smashed by yet another thing thrown at her by her opponent. They've set off so many explosions by now, and it feels like all Ahsoka is doing is running around, trying not to get killed. And Anakin is only just beginning to regain consciousness, though he feels confused and out of it, not a surprise given the concussion he must have.

She trips, though she doesn't know over what, and with a yelp, she falls from the platform where she was dueling her masked opponent, crashing down to the ground level in time to hear clones. Great.

"There she is," calls one of them.

"Wait!" Ahsoka yelps, but it's too late. Stun bolts slam into her, shocking her, and everything goes black.

**w**

Obi-Wan meets the clones at the Temple when they bring Anakin and Ahsoka back. He's a little impressed that it took them so long to be located, much less captured. But the report is more than slightly unsettling. The clones reported having seen Ahsoka dueling someone who then fled before they could be apprehended. Another Jedi. Probably the one who set up the duo to be framed in the first place, and that leaves them in a quandary, because they have no idea who the mysterious, unknown individual is, but they can't hold off on dealing with Anakin and Ahsoka indefinitely; the Senate will never stand for it, and Tarkin is already calling for them to be turned over to the Republic.

The Council is stalling, putting off anything until the two can be treated in the Halls of Healing and then, questioned to see what all they know, if anything.

They didn't do it. There's no way that they did it. Obi-Wan isn't the only one who has questions and doubts, but he knows that some of the Council members have… questions, suspicions. Anakin breaking into the prison like that has made them wonder, even if they would never normally raise inquiries about him, given how good of a General he is.

But they are asking questions, and Obi-Wan doesn't know if he's more angry or disappointed with Anakin right now. All of this could have been avoided if Anakin had been more careful, if he hadn't done something so stupid, illegal, and rash. He thought he taught his former Padawan better than this. And yet, at the same time, he's worried. He can't help it. He knows that Anakin isn't his responsibility any more, but… well, when it comes to Anakin, Obi-Wan has always cared too deeply.

Something is wrong with Anakin. He doesn't know how else to phrase it, and no matter how hard he tries, he cannot figure out what it is. Over the past few months, Anakin has grown quieter, more subdued and closed off, less optimistic. He's not open in the least about his feelings, and that's a huge change from the past. Sure, he never openly advertised them, but he's never been so secretive about them, either.

Something is wrong.

He tries to dismiss his concerns when he listens to the report from Vokara Che. They're worn, stressed, and a little injured, but otherwise, they're alright. That relieves him, even though he knows that it means facing the biggest question of all: what now?

Or at least he thinks that's all before Kix, who had been present and checked on them both as well, given that he knows their medical histories, pulls him aside. "Might I have a word with you in private, General Kenobi?" There's something oddly tense and disturbed in his expression, and Obi-Wan agrees instantly, suddenly feeling wary.

"Have you spoken to General Skywalker at all recently, like… personally?" Kix asks.

It takes a moment for Obi-Wan to understand what he's asking, and he feels a pit of dread form in his gut for him unidentifiable reason. He's not been blind to the way that Anakin seems to be doing very poorly. "I have not," he answers. "Is something wrong?"

He feels the way Kix's emotions flicker in the Force, shifting to something almost like pity. "Given the… seriousness of the situation, I felt that I should speak to you," Kix says, almost hesitantly. "Normally, I would never do this, because it is a violation of patient privacy, but it is… serious. General Skywalker has been… hurting himself."

The words don't make any sense, and all Obi-Wan can manage is a strangled, "what?"

"It is something I have seen, sometimes, in some of the clones," Kix explains. "It can happen if the patient is too depressed, anxious, or guilty. It is… not as uncommon as I would like to say, but I – I never would have expected this."

Obi-Wan notes, distantly, that Kix seems as shaken up as Obi-Wan feels. "Are you certain?"

"I spoke with Commander Tano," is the reply, "And she confirmed it."

"Ahsoka knows?" He knows how horrified he sounds.

"She –" the medic hesitates for a moment, "She told me that she saw him do it when they were on the run. She seemed… extremely concerned for his wellbeing."

It still doesn't seem real though; if anything, it seems more like something from a nightmare. Anakin is – he's – why?! Why would Anakin ever do something like that? It doesn't even make sense to him, and he has absolutely no idea how to even approach the situation. He doesn't know how to feel about it either. Why would – why would Anakin ever deliberately hurt himself?

"Can I see him?" he asks, because he has to see, he has to know.

Kix hesitates again. "You may, but… be careful. His mental state is very… fragile if he's gone this far. He has not been treating his injuries from missions, either, for about a month, I would think. I – I should have noticed when he stopped coming for checkups. I thought he was fine."

So did I, Obi-Wan wants to say. He – he should have known better. Anakin is – he's never been one seek out help if he needs it; he's so self-sacrificing. And Obi-Wan finds that he feels nothing other than numbness and maybe a little grief as he silently walks away from Kix to the room where Anakin is staying. This is – whether he likes it or not, this is something that he has to confront and deal with. He doesn't know how. He has no idea how to handle something of this nature. This is not something that Jedi do, since they've been trained from birth how to handle their emotions, and the idea of Anakin intentionally inflicting harm on himself…

It just – it doesn't make sense.

But if it's true, then Anakin is far worse off than Obi-Wan ever imagined. He feels guilt for that, for never noticing, and he can only hope that he's capable of handling this in way so as to not make it even worse.

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