The mood lightened up considerably. The fire became warm and inviting, the air felt lively and joyous, and the sweat on my forehead and neck evaporated. I was just starting to wonder what I'd gotten myself into when I felt two small arms wrap around my neck. Farore shouted excitedly into my ear, probably a 'thank you' if her kisses on my cheek were any indication. I looked over at Din and Nayru, whose gazes eased up on me as I hugged Farore back. Even Din seemed much calmer now.

Said goddess caught my attention with a stout 'ahem' and said, "Now that you've willingly offered your services, we can explain more of the situation without fear of you backing out." I saw a glimmer in her eye that made me shudder. To distract myself from her gaze, I wrangled Farore off me as Din continued, "It is true that this evil is a future version of you, but we would not be so naïve to think by merely offering you power, wisdom, or courage that you can defeat it alone. This evil has been weakened and made vulnerable enough that you can challenge him. You will go to Hyrule and improve your skills as a warrior. With effort and luck, you will prevail."

She waited several moments, which I took to mean it was my turn to speak. "Again, how am I supposed to be the one to stop him? I'm not Link or Kratos or even Isaac Clarke."

Din seemed patient enough. She didn't glare, she only nodded in understanding.

Nayru moved swiftly but gracefully over and stood to my left. "Zach," she began, "you must understand that the threat we face is greater than anything you can imagine. Only you, the promised one, can take this quest. If you had refused, we would have sent you anyway, that is how dangerous this situation is."

I merely nodded, as I was too stunned to do much else. The way her brow furrowed caught my focus again.

"But you must be warned, young one. Every realm will hold differences, major and minor, from the way you have seen them before. Above all, you must realize that unlike the video games you have grown up with, you do not get a second chance if you die. Once your health and strength is used up, it is Game Over."

I nodded again as I mulled over the information. I took several deep breaths as I tried to organize the whole thing clearly.

"Let me put this into terms I understand," I said, my voice shaky but still loud enough, though that probably didn't matter. "Evil Me is coming from the future somehow, so I go to Hyrule, save the day, then with Evil Me gone I go back to my life?"

All three goddesses turned away, no one made any eye contact with me, and I felt a chill in the air.

"Once this is over," Nayru said at last, "the realms will be at peace and nothing of this magnitude will threaten them ever again. We will send you to Hyrule tomorrow morning."

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed as I thought about what I would need to do before then. I didn't have much to gather or say to anyone, anyway. I only had to tell my friends and my parents—

"My parents!" I cried. "They'd never believe that three Golden Goddesses came and asked me to save all of reality from myself from the future and I have to leave and I don't know how long I'll be gone and—"

"Calm yourself, Zach," Din ordered. My mouth shut instantly and I stared into her eyes. "We will speak with your parents tomorrow so that they will know the severity and importance of your quest." She cupped her chin in her palm and added, "You will have quite a tale to tell when you come back."

"Can you promise that I will come back?"

Din hesitated. She glanced to Nayru, who only nodded. "No," Din said at last. "And if you do, you will not be the same."

The next morning, I woke up to the intoxicating smell of breakfast. After cleaning myself up and dressing in clean clothes, I made my way downstairs and nearly slipped on the stairs when I saw Din, Nayru, and Farore all sitting at the table sipping at mugs of what I assumed to be coffee, my parents and brother sitting across from them. Somehow, I completely forgot the events of the night before, so I was in for a shock once I saw the Three Golden Goddesses chatting with my family as if they stopped by every day.

Farore was, naturally, the first to greet me with an energetic wave and a syrup-smothered grin. "Zach! Come join us, the food is still warm."

I didn't want to make a scene so I squeezed into a seat between Farore and my mom. There was already a plate made for me so I dug in.

Breakfast seemed pleasant enough. The Golden Goddesses explained the situation—minus the part where I'm the main villain—and overall, my parents seemed calm and collected. They asked questions, the Goddesses answered, they made mild complaints here and there, such as what would happen for college, my career, my safety, and the Goddesses assured them that everything would be well worth it in the end. It seemed to take minutes, but three hours went by before they finally addressed me.

My father cleared his throat and gestured to me as he said, "I guess the only thing that's left is to help you pack up for it."

The Golden Goddesses nodded, no doubt that they already knew what I thought. My parents, however, were less understanding. Of course.

"Zach," my mom said, "are you sure you'll be set to go in just one day? I mean, far be it from me to doubt you but this is kind of a big deal. Not saying you can't do it, I'm just saying maybe don't make this decision so casually."

I nodded absently at her as I rose from the table. "I didn't do this on a whim, you know. I know what I'm in for." To prevent further lecturing, I hurried downstairs to my computer. I messaged farewells to the few friends I had, but I was honestly relieved to not have to put up with drama anymore. What happened to this person or that, who they dated, what they wasted their time on, it was just so boring!

Since I wasn't going to be using my computer for a while, I decided to power it off after I finished messaging people. After all, there was no sense wasting power if no one was there to use it. I ran a hand through my hair and sat back. It occurred to me at that moment that I would not be using it or any of my other stuff for a while. My mom was right, this was a very big decision. But I was going to go on an adventure, I would have thought that would please her and Dad. Instead, all I got were lectures and condescending statements about whether I could even do it.

I noticed a piece of paper—or was it parchment?—on the table. It was a map of Hyrule from Twilight Princess, almost exactly like the game barring a few minor geographical changes. Twilight Princess, my favorite Zelda game! That meant I would get to meet... I set the map down and pulled my glasses off to rub the bridge of my nose. After a moment, I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and turned to see Din looking cheerful as always. She plucked the glasses out of my hand and crushed them without even blinking.

"What are you doing?!" I cried. "I need those to help me see!"

She said nothing as she pressed her index and middle fingers of her right hand into my forehead. I felt a cold sensation running from the point of contact to the retinas in my right eye. My vision blurred out and then focused back in, and Din removed her hand. I sat, or rather slumped, in the chair and rubbed my forehead.

Din lifted my chin and said, "I have improved your vision, you will no longer need glasses from this point forward."

"Oh. Thanks."

She nodded back and moved away to give room to Nayru, who sat down on the chair next to me and gently pressed her thumb to my forehead. I felt a warm buzzing in my brain until she took her hand away.

"I have given you the ability to speak and understand foreign languages. Not just Hylian, but any others that you may encounter on your journeys." She turned to my parents and blushed slightly. "He won't need to take German anymore."

Farore tapped my shoulder and thrust a small leather pouch into my face. I took it with respect and pulled open the lid to find that it was empty.

I lifted an eyebrow and asked, "What's this pouch for? It's too small to hold anything except maybe the map."

She giggled and buried her arm in the pouch, far more than should have been possible. I should have known better than to question a Goddess, but things were still settling in with me.

"It's a magic pouch," she explained, "that allows you to store as many items as you need. It has pockets so you can keep volatile or fragile items away from others, insulation against extreme temperatures, and it will never get wet. Plus, it's filled with basic provisions like a knife and flint, extra food, extra bottles, and more clothes." She pulled her arm out of the pouch and added, "Sadly, no hiding people in it."

"There goes my smuggling career."

Now that I had a pouch, I put it to use and packed my spare clothes and the map. I was fully prepared, or as prepared as I could get, so I thought over what I would do first once I was in Hyrule. It all depended on where I landed. Since I had a map tucked away with me, I could easily determine where I was and which town was closer. I trusted the Goddesses would not send me to the Gerudo Desert, since I would have no way of getting off that splotch of land. I decided to voice my concern but Farore preemptively interrupted me.

"We're sending you to the area just beyond Faron's Spring," she said, "where you'll be able to meet the people of Ordon Village."

I nodded gratefully and rewrote my plans: Go to Ordon and hold out there until the main event starts. Everything else should fall into place like in the game.

My dad walked up and hugged me tight. "Don't... look, don't get in too deep. It'll be dangerous, I would hate to think you got injured and didn't know what to do."

I broke the hug and said, "I'll be fine, I know what to do—"

"Hey, jackass, you don't know jack shit!" he snapped. I flinched and he rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Just... forget it. Have fun."

"It's not like I'm doing this as a vacation," I replied. "This is important, I'm not just saying yes for the fuck of it."

My mom jumped into the conversation and said, "Zach, we couldn't get you to go outside to mow the lawn! Excuse the hell out of us for being a little skeptical about you running around fighting monsters and saving the day! It's not that we doubt you, Zachary, it's just that this isn't really your thing. But you know what? Fuck it, what do we know?"

They stormed upstairs, leaving me and the three goddesses and my brother. I glanced at him and gave him an empty chuckle. "And with that, I'm off."

He simply nodded and said, "I hope you have a nice time."

"Thanks." We hugged and then he went downstairs to watch TV. With all the farewells done, I nodded at the goddesses. It was time to go to Hyrule.

The transition was completely unnoticeable. Literally one blink later and I was in Faron Woods. Specifically, the area between Faron's spring and the Forest Temple entrance that will be filled with poisonous fog.

Letting out a deep sigh, I sat down on the hill I arrived on, wanting to take in the beautiful scenery but focusing more on the minutes before I left…

Did my folks really need to act like that? I was the one going on the journey, and all they cared about was whether I could even do it. I doubted myself but I shouldn't have had my parents doubting me too. It wasn't fair!

"LET'S SEE YOU TRY THIS, YOU JACKASS!" It felt good to let that out but without them to hear it, what was the point?

My focus was shattered when I heard a bizarre screech behind me, followed by feet prattling over dirt and grass. I turned around to find a blue-skinned thing shambling towards me. It was tall and lanky with white hair tied in a bun and had a very painful-looking spiked club aiming right for my head. A Bokoblin!

With a yelp that sounded too cowardly for my tastes, I rolled to the left, just out of the club's path. It sank into the ground and the Bokoblin struggled to wrench it free, leaving the beast vulnerable. When I tried to attack, I realized I had no weapon with which to defend myself!

It finally pulled its club out of the ground but the force of doing so upended one of its feet. I lunged at the Bokoblin and sent us both rolling down the hill to the bottom.

Grumbling under my breath, I tried to sit up but stopped at the blinding pain coming from my left side. I looked down to find that I was bleeding rather profusely. Upon closer inspection, I found that I had fallen on the spike of the Bokoblin's club. I pulled the damn thing out and found the spike to be at least three inches long, with two of those three inches soaked crimson. In hindsight, yanking out a sharp object was a very stupid move. My bad.

"Oh fuck... Oh fuck, oh fuck! FUCK! I've been stabbed! Just... just keep calm, keep calm!"

I looked over at the Bokoblin. It struggled to stand up, probably hit its head on the way down. I had to kill it or it would kill me.

You don't know jack shit!

Splotches of black bordered my vision as I heaved myself up and smashed the club into the Bokoblin's skull, spike first. The creature twitched but otherwise remained still, thus marking itself as my very first monster kill in Hyrule.

Fuck it, what do we know?

I yanked the club back up. I brought it back down, then lifted it and brought it down again, and again, and again!

"Hello there!" a distant voice shouted. I jumped and whirled around with the club ready to attack, but the pain from such action sent me to my knees. My vision blurred as I heard several sets of feet racing towards me.

Seeing as the last time that happened, I got shish kebab'd, I swung the club through the air to keep them away. The club struck something metal, and a voice rang out that forced my eyes open.

"Easy, son, you've had a rough time," the voice said. The speaker was a well-built man probably in his late forties, with dirty blond hair and a mustache that smiled at me.

His hand rested on my shoulder, but I jerked away out of reflex and held my side because the wound nearly opened further from the sudden motion.

My vision blurred again and a different, larger-sounding voice rang in my ears, saying, "Take it easy, lad, you're injured."

I tried to push away the hands that landed gently on my shoulders, but the adrenaline must have worn off, since all I could do was nudge slightly in protest. My knees decided that was the perfect time to cease function, so I crumpled over into a pair of muscular but slightly chubby arms. Everything swirled around me as the darkness closed in…

And was chased away by an irritating glare from above my head, from some lamp that was too bright for its own good. I didn't open my eyes; I wouldn't give the cursed lamp the satisfaction. I merely groaned at the red haze of my eyelids until I felt a damp cloth pat down gently on my forehead.

"Mom?" I asked with my eyes still closed. I was in a bed, snuggled under a few layers of very soft fabrics, though I could catch the strong scent of pines and… manure?

"There, just relax," a sweet voice said to me. I was too disorientated to notice how it sounded different and younger than my mom's voice. "You've been asleep for hours."

I shook my head slowly as I said, "I had this… horrible dream. The Golden Goddesses chose me to… go to a different world and… have an adventure…"

"Well, you're safe now, here in good old Ordon Village."

"Ordon Village?!" My eyes shot open to reveal that the 'lamp' was actually an open window that let in the late afternoon sun. I launched myself upright on the bed to find a girl sitting there next to me, cloth in hand.

She looked about my age. Her eyes were a nice shade of blue-green, while her brown hair swooped to the right as it tapered over her neck just above her shoulders.

The girl smiled at me and dabbed the cloth on my forehead again until I gently held her wrist. "My name's Ilia."

"Zach. Where am I?" I asked.

"Ordon Village, in my father Mayor Bo's house," she said, wiggling her wrist free as she gently pushed me back down.

I felt a soreness coming from my side, and when I looked down, I found bandages wrapped around my waist. I nodded slowly as I remembered what had happened.

Landing in Hyrule…

Fighting the Bokoblin…

Being impaled on its club…

Meeting some people…

"Did the Mayor find me?"

Ilia nodded and pressed softly on the bandages. "Father, Rusl, and Jaggle found you and took you here to recover. You were wounded pretty badly."

"I noticed," I replied flatly. After a moment, I sighed and eased myself up once more. "Sorry, I'm just grumpy."

Ilia nodded and smiled again as she said, "I understand. The wound was pretty deep." She pulled the covers off, revealing tan pants that seemed a little baggy on me.

"How did I get into these?" I asked, ignoring the shrillness of my voice.

Ilia's cheeks turned scarlet as she muttered something.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Father changed your clothing for you," she said more clearly. "They were soaked in blood, both from you and that Bokoblin you killed."

Killed…

"Do you feel well enough to stand?" she asked. "Father wants to speak to you."

I eased my legs over the side of the bed, my side burning with protest. Setting my feet on the surprisingly warm floor, I lifted myself up and strode carefully to the stairs. I saw the mayor down below, sitting at a table with a bowl of porridge. He was large, probably a combination of fat and muscle, wore a sleeveless white tunic that reached down to his thighs and a thick dark green sash around his waist, and the only hair on his head were eyebrows and a grey mustache that curved upwards in a pseudo-smile. His enormous arm weighed heavily down on my shoulder as he ushered me to the table.

"Sit down, lad, and get some breakfast while it's hot." Good grief, his voice was loud! With tense shoulders, I nodded and sat down in a spare seat, a steaming bowl of porridge in front of me. I never had porridge before but I always figured it was like oatmeal, which I despise.

It smelled pleasant, however, like pumpkin pie with a dash of cinnamon. I lifted the spoon, blew gently on it, and tasted the porridge. My eyes widened as I realized it was essentially pumpkin pie soup! I love pumpkin pie!

Taking care not to singe my tongue, I finished the bowl and then found a nearby cup of milk. Not one to pass down a good source of calcium, I grabbed the cup and nearly guzzled the thing down when I heard giggling somewhere behind me. I turned and found several heads peeking from behind a window at me. They ducked down before I could get a good look, so I finished the milk and sighed at the pleasant meal.

Ilia took away my dishes and left me alone with her father, the Mayor of Ordon Village. He didn't do much for a full five minutes; he only stared at me to see if I was going to do something heinous or dastardly.

"So," he began, startling me, "as you've probably been told, I am Mayor Bo of Ordon Village. I trust your wound hasn't been bothering you?"

I nodded and gently prodded the bandages. "It's still sore, but I don't think it got infected or anything. Thank you, Mister Mayor."

He nodded and rested his chin on his fist. He eyed me up and down before saying, "What brings you this far from Hyrule Proper?"

"I'm not from Hyrule at all, as you probably guessed." He nodded slowly, eyes watching me intently. "I come from a land very, very far away. The country I was born in is called America."

Mayor Bo nodded but his brow scrunched up in confusion as he asked, "Why did you come unarmed? Surely you had weapons at your disposal before you departed?"

I tried not to clench my jaw at him. "I didn't have anything suitable for the wilds of Hyrule. I was hoping the local swordsman had a spare sword and could teach me some things."

Mayor Bo lifted one brow and lowered his hand from his chin. "You came all this way to see Rusl? He is a fine swordsman, to be sure, but you didn't try looking near Hyrule Castle Town or your homeland for a suitable teacher?"

"I thought of it," I said, "but I've heard rumors that Hyrule Castle Town is full of only cowardly soldiers who can't even stand up to a wild animal."

Mayor Bo stared at me for what felt like hours until he laughed and slammed his fists on the table. "Isn't that the truth!" he bellowed.

"I guess it is."

"Come, lad, come!" he chuckled, standing up from the table. He beckoned me out of the house and into the quaint quiet of Ordon Village.