In a way it was torture to lay in her bed, to have his scent surrounding her; seasalt, watercress, wild thyme and lemongrass.

It hurt to hug the pillow she hadn't even used as she usually just had taken his chest instead. His scent the only one on there.

Images kept on flashing in front of her eyes, how they had woken up two days before, when everything had still been normal. She hadn't wanted to get out of bed, clutched onto his arm and tried to crawl more into him, to get rid of any light that fell into the room. He had chuckled, tried to untangle her hair while holding her.

The memories burned in her mind, her soul still aching when she finally managed to get up. She couldn't do this to herself. She wanted to but it hurt. She wasn't sure if she left the bed to conserve the smell in the fabrics and not use it up or if it hurt her too much.

She still hadn't gotten out of his shirt, even if it was covered in blood. She just… couldn't.

Her feet carried her to her window, opening it and climbing on the windowsill.

She felt trapped, not like back then when she had first lived here but in her mind. It was… odd but she was restless. She didn't plan to attempt to climb the roof again but she still let her feet dangle out. It had grown dark and she just stared. Uncertain what to do and where to go afterwards. Tomorrow she would leave. She couldn't stay so close to Nello, not when… when it was ruined. When she couldn't have him anymore.

Reborn had messed up sure.. but… he didn't hurt her, not like Nello.

She didn't want to lose him but hadn't she learned that all good things came to an end? It just wasn't meant for her, never had been. Everything ended at one point and she had been used to it but… Nello had been different. She had clung onto him, he had been hers. It had seemed like nothing could ever separate them, nothing… but now… that changed too.

Leilani was lost, completely and utterly lost and she didn't know what to do. Sure, she always kept pushing forwards but this was different to a degree she couldn't even try to attempt to understand.

A soft knock on her door but she didn't react, only keeping her eyes on the trees outside, the way the branches moved in the slight breeze. She hadn't turned the light on in her room and so nothing stopped her eyes from watching the outsides, the trees, the night sky. How the stars still shined, no matter what happened. How the moon still rose even if her own world seemed to end.

Nothing stopped the outside world from moving forward and she had believed herself to be the same. Nothing changed, the world was still turning and she would keep on pushing forward… even while it seemed like everything in her seemed to stagnate but it couldn't be true, the way the branches danced was proof of it. Nothing stagnated, not truly, not ever.

Even death wasn't the end, the process just turned, looked different. She knew that better than anyone.

Oodako bubbled quietly in the tank Verde had constructed for her but she couldn't bring herself to turn around right now.

The knock interrupted the quiet again but she still didn't look away. She couldn't, she didn't want to return to reality, just focus on the way that everything moved forward no matter what happened. She was the same, she had to be, she always had to be like that and this didn't change, not now, not ever.

The knock sounded again but this time it didn't stay like this, she could hear the quiet screech of the door handle turning and steps were coming towards her, only stopping for a moment to close the door again.
She was frozen though, she felt him, she knew it was him. How could she not recognize him by his passive flame aura?

"Skull.." his voice was rough, as if he had been crying.

She didn't know what to say, her eyes not even moving, hyperfixating on the pinecone she had seen, it had been about to drop.

"I'm sorry."

She still didn't know what to say.

She could hear how the fabric ruffled when he sat down on the floor next to her bed, leaning against it.

"I know… you probably want to be alone but… I couldn't stay away any longer. I'm… I'm sorry."
She bit her lip, her eyes not even blinking so hard was she concentrating on the pinecone.

"I got overwhelmed, really badly, kora. I shouldn't have. I should have waited, I should have tried to get my mind under control but I didn't manage to and I'm sorry."

His sigh ringing through the almost quiet night "Really. I messed up, It was just too much and I know that's not an excuse and I know you told me before that you didn't see an issue but still I was just so... lost in that moment. I questioned everything and I just didn't know what to do or how. I just... panicked badly and I know it's not an excuse.

I shouldn't have gotten influenced like that and It should have just stayed between us until we figured it out. I can't help with what went through my mind but… we could have figured it out together, what it actually means and I'm sorry about that. I really am."

Leilanis voice was quiet, barely more than a mumble "You were disgusted at the thought of touching me."

"No, I was afraid of my own mind."

she could hear him standing up, coming towards her again "I wasn't and will never be disgusted by you I just… I just felt like I did something bad, as if I had to question everything to figure out what was right and what not but… still it's my fault. I messed up."

Maybe it was stupid to forgive and forget like this but… she just couldnt not do it, not at all. It was painful and she wanted it gone. she was longing for him, aching for him. She didn't want to lose him, not even considering it. It was the reason why she was still here.

She could have left the whole time but Nello… Nello was here

"Prove it." was the only thing she could manage to word out. She didn't know what to say or do or what would fix this but she didn't care. She needed him, she really did and it was just… it was a mess.

The next moment she felt a hand gently placed on her shoulder, the other one following quicker as she did not protest or flinch.

"Skull.." he was so close she could make out any and all changes to his voice, the rawness, the pain it was just… there

And before she could even stop herself she had turned around, facing him, her hands hovering over his figure, his slightly red eyes burning into hers and she wanted. She wanted to touch him. She needed this, she needed him. She needed his reassurement after a long day like this and it hurt but… she didn't even have to speak as he seemed to feel the same.

His arms completely encasing her as he stepped closer, his grip on her tight but at the same time soft, he held her as if she was precious, as if she was his greatest treasure, the one thing that mattered that he couldn't let go off. She buried herself in his chest, just gripping on his shirt and holding on for her life, her lifeline, her rain.

"I'm so sorry, I'm sorry Skull. I… panicked and I got overwhelmed and I just… I was so confused and I just didn't know what was right. I want you, I can't do this without you. Not just because of the bond between us. I just need you. I can't do it without you and I just… I saw you today and I couldn't do anything. I wanted to be up there with you and make it go away but I just didn't know how to. You… I …"

His desperation showed as he stepped back slightly, his hand not having left her body, pausing at her neck, just holding her neck as she stared him into his eyes, not willing to let go of him any time soon.

Maybe they needed to talk, to clear it up but she just couldn't. She just wanted him back.

All he could do was crouch slightly, His forehead against hers, his hands carefully cradling her face, just staring in her eyes and swallowing hard.

His breaths unruly from the anguish and devastation at the thought of having lost her. "Skull.."

All he could see was her eyes, the lingering tears in it, the way she bit her lip and he wanted. He wanted.. he didn't know, he just wanted, longed. He couldn't lose her but he just… wanted. So desperately it was painful but all he could do was stare at her, his hands still roaming over her cheeks, pushing back her hair and feeling her.

He couldn't lose her, he couldn't physically deal with it. He needed her.

His breathing still quickened and more gasping than anything else.

He couldn't put into words how much all of this affected him, how the reality of almost losing her impacted him. He couldn't deal with it. He couldn't let it happen. He needed Skull, more than air to breath, more than water to clench one's thirst. He felt like he was starving without her. In a way he was utterly obsessed with her but he couldn't help it. It was Skull. His Skull and he didn't know what to do without her.

It was true that he had panicked over everything but… it just didn't matter. It didn't matter if it meant hurting Skull that badly. Mabe it was immoral but… he couldn't abandon her, he couldn't go back or keep his distance. It was destroying him.

It wasn't like he needed her presence at every second in his life but… the thought of never seeing her again, of having her pull away from him because of his actions? He couldn't deal with it. He couldn't live with the fact that his actions hurt her that badly.

He had needed to collect his thoughts about the whole situation but all of it just stepped aside when it had these heavy consequences.

Skull mattered more, anything else could screw themselves if they deemed it wrong because he… he just needed her.