ALL'S NOT FAIR IN LOVE
Chapter 5 - The Haunt Celebration And Aftermath
The team arrives at the Haunt for the case closure celebration and the bar staff had already gotten the preparations done. There were several pitchers of beer on their table along with several carafe's of wine and appropriate glasses. Hot wings, veggie strips, fired zucchini, pizza mini-slices, mini-eggs rolls, crackers and cheese, all were laid out on the table of their stall, now known as the 12th Precinct Stall.
Espo and Ryan had started a dart game. Rick and Kate were enjoying a private conversation off to the side. Lanie was dug in at the bar with drink and snack in hand just watching the celebration unfold. It was then that Dr. Motorcycle Boy/Man entered. Kate and Rick were so into their talk that Kate does not notice when her boyfriend enters. Only when Lanie taps Kate on the shoulder and points to the entrance door does Kate acknowledge her now boyfriend. She leaves her conversation with Rick to meet Josh.
"Josh", she says as she waves to him.
Josh sees her and a smile appears on his face, "Wow, the scene is jumping! What a great place to hang out."
Kate takes Josh's hand and leads them to their stall. Once there Kate speaks.
"Josh, you know everyone, and everyone knows Josh, right?"
Lanie speaks up, "I know of Josh but we have not formally met."
From her girl talks with Kate, Lanie felt a familiarity with Josh, even though they had not yet officially met. And she knew him by sight when Javi sent her a picture of the two that he had taken on his phone camera.
"I'll correct that now, Dr. Josh Davidson, this is Dr. Lanie Parish, our Medical Examiner."
"Dr. Parish", Josh responds to the intro.
"Dr. Davidson, just call me Lanie", she says shaking his extended hand.
"In that case, call me Josh", he returns the handshake and then says, "This is a great venue, how did you guys find it?"
"Oh we didn't", replies Lanie, "Rick owns the place. He always treats here for case closure celebrations. In fact our stall is unofficially known as the 12th precinct stall. Ask for the stall by showing your badge and the 1st round is free."
"Great!", is Josh's response, but a cloud darkens his face. That is all he didn't need to know, that Rick Castle, his nemesis for Kate's affection, is a wealthy bar owner. Josh knew financially he was out classed by Castle despite being a well paid surgeon.
The atmosphere at The Haunt is jovial and the team celebrates with high spirits and great commeraderie. Kate had returned to talking with Castle. Josh sees how close they are and feels jealousy. They seemed very much like a romantic couple together. Then by intuition or some sixth sense, Kate stops her talk with Rick and sees Josh. She ends her conversation with Rick and joins Josh who is standing next to Lanie.
"Josh, I did not mean to ignore you. Rick and I were going over the case and were arguing who saw what clue first. We have this game we play about who can out do the other in crime solving."
"Oh no, don't stop because of me. I do a lot of 'lessons learned' on a procedure with my colleagues. It is good professional feed back. I know he's your partner so go and talk shop with him."
"Thanks Josh, you're so sweet that way."
Kate rejoins Rick as Josh watches. This is his first celebration with Kate's office mates and the first time he is observing her with her partner and detective team in a non-work situation.
"Are they always like that?", he absentmindedly speaks out to Lanie, who is at his side, but who Josh did not mean for her to hear his inquiry.
'Yeah they are", responds Lanie upon hearing Josh's unintentional question, "You know that cop partners are close, and many say it is as close to a man and wife situation for comparison. When the partners are of opposite gender, it could be very much like a marriage, even when the two are themselves married to others".
Lanie says this without thinking how Josh could take her comment in a wrong manner and then sees the anguish in Josh's face from her comment.
She speaks again trying to atone for her mental lapse as she had spoken out. Her remark had caused angst to be inflicted on Josh by her speaking it. To make up for that, she says, "But many opposite gender partners are professional enough to be close but not personally involved."
"What you are attempting to tell me is that many do not wind up sleeping together."
'Oops' thinks Lanie, got to put out that fire.
"Kate's professional and so is Rick. There is nothing there to be concern about."
Her assurance brightens up Josh's demeanor a little bit, but Lanie now sees that her remarks had hit a sore point in Josh. Lanie grabs a pitcher of beer, trying to change the topic.
"Let me refill your glass for you Josh", she says, hoping it will deflect the talk they just had.
"Thanks Lanie", he replies.
It goes this way until the celebration ends. Josh drives Kate back to her place in his 320 BMW, top up, as it was cold and he had used his car, heater on, for transportation that night.
After a while Josh speaks, "Kate, do you want to break up with me so you can be with Castle?"
"Is this you being jealous again?", once again Josh has surprised her with a question.
"No, but after seeing you with him tonight, the both of you just seemed to be so right together. So I just thought about it", he tells her, but there is logic to Josh's question. He wants to know if she will bite on his suggestion.
"Josh when I met you over the summer and you asked if you could date me, we agreed to see where it went. I still am doing our agreement. We have not had enough time yet to see where this will lead. With your DWB missions, our times together have been limited. We need more time to see where we are going. If it comes to the point that I realize this is not what I want, I will let you know."
Just the answer Josh was hoping for, so, now he asks the question he really wanted her to answer.
"Then why won't you sleep with me?"
"Josh, I am not there yet. Just because you are my steady boyfriend does not mean we should fall in bed without due consideration of that act. In high school and college, I slept with most of my current boyfriends mostly out of a sense of obligation that we had become a couple. I was too young and inexperienced in carnal relationships back then and what it meant to be in one. I am a more matured woman now. Sex with a man I choose to be with is a statement of my commitment and fidelity to him. For me, having a physical relationship with a man is my way of preparing for a more permanent union. That more permanent union being marriage", she let's her words sink in for him. Josh sees how serious Kate is about this, there will be no casual sex for her.
After a brief pause, Kate continues, "Marriage is serious and should be given due consideration. A carnal relationship to me is preparing for a more serious union. I am not there yet. Are you? Have you thought of the consequences of us becoming sexual? I do not want a shot gun wedding because, heaven forbid, my birth control failed, and you got me pregnant; or worst, because we fell in bed and thought it is now the right thing to do. It will not happen by chance or circumstance with us. It will be a serious commitment and done mutually. Again, are you ready for that?"
After a period of silence, Josh contemplating what Kate has said to him, replies, "You have a point Kate and in truth, I am not there yet either. My past carnal relationships were all failures. So I can see your point and why you have been so cautious, but you said boyfriends, which implies a lot of prior relationships. How many have there been?"
"I can't believe you are asking me that! Do you really want to know my number?"
"Not really, as I see for you it doesn't matter here. What matters to you as you stated is where we are headed."
"Correct! Men...", she says incredulously, " ...you all want to know, what you don't want to know. All you need to take away from this discussion, as of the present, is that from my past experiences I have expectations for a relationship. That is what I bring to a relationship, and it should not matter who we have been with, but where we are going, as you agreed with me. You too have expectation for us, and we are seeing if we can mutually meet those. I want our first time to mean something significant and to be a joyful surrender. I want that moment to be a commitment to a closer and stronger bond, don't we both deserve that?"
"Can we forget we had this conversation?", Josh seems contrite about bringing up this topic.
"No, because this conversation shows you what I want for us if we sleep together. We need time to grow as a couple, so to answer your original question, 'No'! I do not want to break up with you. We are just starting to know each other better and it is still too early to make that call. We should leave it at that."
"Okay."
Despite her concerns about Josh, Kate was giving him the benefit of her doubt. Maybe this was more than Josh deserved from her. Still she had not yet decided on ending their union, although the relationship was now starting to show cracks, from both of them. In a rare moment of clarity, Josh had given her an out, but she did not take it. Did this mean they still had a chance? Did Kate still want that chance?
And what of Rick, his status with her remained in the 'just friends' category, but if asked, Kate would have to admit that Castle was her best male friend. She knew Rick far more in three years than she knew of Josh in just six months. Kate was confident in that knowledge of Rick. But could she continue to keep Rick close while she was still seeing where it went with Josh? This truly was a complicated situation. Kate knew she might be driving Rick away. But Rick was there for her despite and Kate had been surprised by his devotion.
She was so clouded by all that had been happening with the three of them, that her emotions were taking control. The normally clear-thinking Kate Beckett was not present and replaced now by this version of Kate. A version that departed from the logical and non-emotional Detective who only looked at the facts and followed the evidence. Had she connected the dots on what was unfolding before her, her conclusion would lead her to the one man she should choose. That man was not her boyfriend.
A Week Later
Rick is out in the hallway looking for Beckett. He was carrying a cup of coffee for her as he sensed she needed it. They once again were working a tough case and had come to a standstill on it. He was going to ask if she wanted to go to Remy's for lunch. She needed a break and Rick was going to give her relief from their case. Then Rick sees her leaving one of the conference rooms, but to his surprise, she is not alone. Josh is with her!
They stop under the door jamb of the conference room they were leaving and kiss. It is a long and sweet, but passionate kiss, which eventually they end. Kate leaves Josh and heads for her desk and as she does so, she is biting her bottom lip and her finger is twirling one of her curls. She has this happy look about her. She catches Rick in the hallway coming in her direction.
"Rick, were you looking for me?"
"Yeah I was. Brought you coffee and was going to ask you out for lunch at Remy's."
"Oh Castle, that is so you, but can I take a rain check on the lunch? Josh surprised me by showing up and wants to take me out for lunch."
"Oh, but of course, no problem", still Rick is trying to hide the disappointment in his voice.
He sees Kate grab her coat and then joins up with Josh as Rick puts the coffee on her desk and then settles into his chair. They leave arm in arm, a sight not too unfamiliar to Rick. Just then Lanie arrives at Kate's desk and she sees the couple leaving each holding the other's hand. It is a show of affection not to unusual from the both of them. The two were often seen in this manner. It clearly is a public display of affection (PDA) by the two, showing how comfortable they each had become in other's private space.
Lanie, then sees Rick sitting in his chair and drinking coffee. He is sad and dejected, and Lanie knows why. She is determined to brighten up Rick's spirits. Lanie has seen this before and is surprised that Kate would parade her boyfriend so publicly in front of Rick. What was that girl thinking, or was she even thinking. The take charge, in control Kate, was nowhere to be found.
"Hey Rick, missed a lunch there?"
"I was going to ask Kate to join me at Remy's but Josh happened."
"Still want lunch at Remy's?"
"Kind of lost the mood."
"Let me help, let's go to Remy's, my treat!"
"Why Dr. Parish, are you hitting on me!"
"Someone should, after seeing that disappointed look on your face."
They get to Remy's but see something they were not expecting. Josh and Kate had decided on Remy's too for lunch and had got there first. The couple took a booth far back into the corner where not too many occupied tables were around them. Lanie and Rick order lunch and then head for a table far from the couple hoping not to be noticed by them. As Lanie and Rick eat, both are observing the couple. Every now and then, between bites, they swap small, sweet kisses to the lips.
"You know she still has doubts about Josh and hasn't sleep with him Rick", Lanie speaks trying to relieve the angst she saw in Rick.
"How do you know that Lanie?"
"Cause she is my BFF and would have told me. She's not ready yet to take that step. She has to make sure they are prepared for it and she is not. She is still exploring where it can go between them."
"She may not be there, but Josh sure appears ready."
"Kate was that way with Demming. You know that, hell, you were there to witness all that behavior. Despite their PDA's, they broke up before they could sleep together. I know she told Demming she was not ready and that she was not sure if he was what she wanted at the time. Kate told me so and it will be that way with Josh."
"Thank you, Lanie, for the pep talk. But can I ask you something?", he pauses for a moment looking at Lanie to see if she will answer him.
Lanie sees Rick hesitation on his inquiry and then tells him, "Ask me, if it is about Kate, I will answer you. So ask."
"What happened with Sorenson?", Rick needs to know what caused that breakup as it was perhaps the most serious relationship Kate had been in so far. Rick needed to know and compare that with what he was observing now from Kate.
"Oh, that one was a bad breakup. She fell for him madly and they were sleeping together. It was the quickest hook up that Kate ever had. Sorenson, however, being the conceited ass he is, decides that he has her reeled in, and takes a job in Boston for a promotion. He does not bother to tell Kate or ask her approval, thinking that she would drop everything and live with him in Boston. It turned out otherwise, but Kate was really hurt by that one and blames herself for misjudging Wil and his intentions for her."
"You know; I saw them making out on that case we had with Sorenson."
"Yeah, you did. Wil wanted back in with her and was trying to seduce her again into his bed. But my girl resisted his second charm offensive. She was not about to repeat a mistake with him. Kate must always make her own choice and any man trying to coerce a choice to suit his liking learns just that. Wil had tried to get Kate to move to Boston for him without her approval. I am so proud she rejected Sorenson. Kate has truly become her own woman and knows what she wants. But hang in there Rick, I don't think this thing with Josh will last. She denies it's a rebound, but I know better. Kate takes a while to make up her mind, but when she does, she is good for it."
"Sorenson did affect her and she carried it forward to where she is now. I think she learned from that breakup."
"As Kate did from her time with Demming."
"You think it she is still hurting from that breakup with Demming and she is still not over it?"
"That breakup was not about Demming. It was about you, she broke up with him for you?"
"Well, yeah, so I've missed my chance with her."
"You haven't. I tell you this thing with Josh is headed in the same direction. Kate has strong feelings for you Rick but she knows if she commits to you, it has to be 100%. That scares her! The last man she did that with was Sorenson. So do you see more clearly where she is coming from? And the thing with Demming just caused her to dig in more."
Rick is encouraged by this talk and then says to Lanie, "I appreciate our talk Lanie, but we should get back before Kate gets there and sees us together."
"Yeah, can't have my Girl thinking that we saw the both of them here; might make her conclude I am spying on her because she knows you're my choice for her. I'm supposed to be neutral here so I can be her relationship sounding board. But know this Rick, everyone is pulling for you. Few are in the Josh camp, and this thing they have now, is Kate trying to resolve her feelings for the two of you, but most especially her feeling for you. It will be just like Demming. Kate will realize this is not what she needs right now. So stay the course, this will end and you'll get your chance."
"Thanks, Lanie, let's get back before Kate!"
They leave before the other couple and Kate is no more the wiser about Lanie's advice to Rick. Rick is encouraged by Lanie's talk. He asked about Sorenson because he needed to know about that relationship. It gave Rick insight as to what Kate expected from a man. Rick took that as a silver lining to what was now a brewing storm. But was he causing that storm, or was it Josh? Rick will stay the course. He will come out the other end of it and be there for Kate as he had promised.