Long Night Safe Rest

Long lashes fell over cherubic cheeks creating an angelic picture of peaceful rest. Connor could only place a hand over his aching heart at the sight of his son sleeping so quietly in a bid to ease the bittersweet ache he felt. His little boy's breathing was so quiet that Connor had to control the urge to rest his hand over Callum's chest to make sure that he was okay. His senses were screaming at him to protect and care. Despite knowing his son was fine, knowing that he was merely in a deep slumber, all he wanted to do was scoop the sleeping child into his arms and not let go.

It was an urge that he had constantly for both his children, but days like today only made Connor's protective instincts worse. He had a boy, not much older than his son die on his table today. Multiple gunshot wounds from a drive-by shooting. He had stared at a different set of long lashes and cherubic cheeks when the heart monitor had shrieked its long final tone. Frantic scrambling to find a sinus rhythm had been for naught and if Connor was honest the kid didn't have much of a chance upon his arrival to the hospital... but he had to try. He had done everything that he could to save that little boy and it hadn't been enough.

The horror of having to tell the parents... He didn't have to. Zanetti had offered to explain what had happened. After all, she and half the surgical staff had witnessed his desperation as he – he...

Tears stung at his eyes.

He hated having kids on his operating table. There was a reason he hadn't gone into pediatric surgery. But Zanetti didn't have kids. While she could sympathize with their loss, she didn't understand the biting fear that every parent carried within themselves. It was a fear that was as vast and powerful as an ocean and every single day the fear of that ocean breaching the seawall and flooding safe shores threatened to overwhelm.

Today, he had watched that ocean devastate another parent's world. Today, and possibly forever that couple would be drowning.

Tonight, he was fighting the rising tides of his ocean.

So, he stared at Callum. Watched his sweet boy sleep as he tried to reassure himself that his son was fine. He was alive, and he was safe, and he was happy.

A soft whimper had Connor stiffening in concern. Yet, Callum merely sighed and rolled to his side as he settled again.

He was fine.

For a brief moment, guilt tore through his heart and he had to force it back. He refused to feel guilty that his son was alive while another's was not. He wouldn't picture his life without his kids in it – he couldn't. They were his world. They were everything.

A familiar hand gently smoothed up his back and Connor shifted his attention to his side as he met his wife's knowing gaze. She had heard what had happened in the OR. She had been in the ED when the boy had been wheeled in – Sarah knew where his mind was at. Her lips gently brushed his shoulder as her stare fell through the bedroom door and onto their slumbering son. He twisted, wrapping an arm around her as she leaned into his side. Her presence was a warm balm.

"You can't stand here all night," Sarah whispered gently.

He bristled slightly, couldn't help it. His sapphire's flashed at her, "Bet me."

Far from being offended, she merely sighed at her sentinel husband, "Go and grab him. I want him to sleep with us tonight."

Connor shook his head, "We'll wake him. I don't want to scare him."

But Sarah only rolled her eyes and prodded him forward, "Callum sleeps like you do. He won't so much as twitch, Babe."

Despite his protest, he was already moving to their son's side. He hadn't wanted to admit that Sarah giving him permission to give in to his overprotective instincts was really the excuse he was looking for to snatch up their son.

His hands slid easily under Callum's little body, cradling the boy to his chest before he could blink. True to Sarah's word, Callum didn't stir. His small fingers immediately latched into Connor's shirt as he nestled his face into the hollow of his father's shoulder. Connor closed his eyes in mild relief as he felt the hot brush of his son's breath and squeezed him just a little tighter.

Sarah came to stand next to the duo. She ran a light finger along their son's cheek and smiled tenderly as he curled further into his father's embrace. Her little cuddler and her big cuddler, "Just like his father."

Connor refrained from comment but watched fondly as she pressed a kiss to Callum's head before leaning down to let her claim one from him as well. Sarah ushered them out of the room and into their bedroom down the hall.

He paused for a moment in surprise when he caught sight of the curly locks of his daughter's hair peeking out from the covers of their bed. When he turned his gaze from the bed to his wife, Sarah merely arched a brow, "I want them both close."

Connor wasn't about to argue. He had already planned to spend the night bouncing back and forth between their rooms. His surprise came from the fact that she got their three-year-old princess moved and settled without a ruckus. Ellie did not sleep like her brother, "How...?"

"I placed her in our bed after her bath," Sarah explained lightly. Ellie had been excited for the sleepover, but her excitement hadn't beat out the sandman.

Carefully the covers were peeled back, and Connor slid Callum next to his sister as he settled next to him. Sarah pulled the comforter back up around them before climbing into her side. She combed a soothing hand through Ellie's hair as the little girl started to fuss, quickly calming her back to sleep. Slowly, the tides that Connor had been fighting began to recede. The anxiety choking at his throat was calming and he began to breathe a little easier at having his entire family so close.

It was only as Sarah fretted over the children that he noticed the faint trembling in her hands. She had that sharp glint in her eyes that had appeared when Callum was a baby and would cry. It was an intent, protective look – a look that promised harm to whatever was disturbing her child.

She was in Mama Bear mode and Connor realized if he hadn't moved Callum then she sure as hell would have. She probably would have booted him to the couch if he had protested that plan too. The only reason he hadn't noticed sooner was because he was in Papa Bear mode, and he didn't want their kids out of his sight any more than she did.

Except, Sarah wasn't just fretting over the kids. She was fretting over him too. She carefully shifted Ellie more firmly against her and Callum followed the heat and tilt of the bed. It allowed Connor a little more room to stretch and lay, but he didn't want the room. He followed his family, reaching his arm out so that his fingers snagged into the hem of her sleep shirt and kept all of them within his grasp.

The move stilled her. And if he had bristled at her before, then she was silently fuming at him now. But he wasn't about to stop her fretting. Protective Mama Bear Sarah was one of his favorite things to witness. His heart expanded and contracted in a swarm of biting love for her. He smiled in the face of her glare and shifted his grip so that his wrist was tilted away from her.

Bruised knuckles greeted her sight. A parting gift from the wall that he had punched when he couldn't get the heart monitor's long-drawn alarm out of his head. Sarah frowned at those purple badges before scooping his hand up to examine better. He had kept his hand hidden from her since he had gotten home. This was the first that she was seeing the damage.

Connor could see that she wanted to chastise him for the brief secret. He would get his lecture in the morning when little ears weren't present. In the meantime, her thumb brushed over his swollen skin before she placed a light kiss to his palm.

"I love you," Connor whispered raggedly.

Sarah's eyes filled with tears, and she smiled weakly at him, "Love you too."

Her unusual emotional reaction worried him, "Babe?"

She sniffed and wiped quickly at her eyes. She didn't respond to his concern right away. Instead, she let her gaze drift over the kid's faces and fought the overwhelming urge to barricade their bedroom. While Connor had fought the tides of his ocean, Sarah was standing in an ankle-deep hormonal flood.

"I'm pregnant again."

Connor stared, "What?"

Sarah turned an expectant gaze on him as she murmured ruefully, "Super-sperm Rhodes strikes again."

He choked on a laugh that threatened to escape as he tried to keep silent and not wake the kids, but he can't contain the bubble of emotion welling in him. Instead, Connor leaned up to hover over the kids as his hand left hers to tangle in her hair. He smashed his lips to hers in a quick searing kiss that expressed everything he couldn't say in that moment, "We're going to have a baby."

Sarah rolled her eyes at him, "We have two babies."

But Connor only grinned before Ellie mades her displeasure of all their shifting and talking known. This time it's him who runs a soothing hand through her locks that are so similar to her mother's before dropping a kiss to her temple. Callum wasn't spared from his father's affection either as he received a kiss to his crown.

He gets to have another one of these.

He kept his arm stretched over his kids and wiggled his fingers at Sarah until she took his hand. He fell asleep holding everything that he cared about.