Becoming who we were meant to be
13: A barking dog never bites
Karin makes her way down the corridors, five volumes piled up one onto another in her arms. A wild strand of hair escapes from her ponytail and falls on her forehead, partially hiding her vision. She huffs out a breath in an attempt to move it out of the way, unsuccessfully. In this particular moment, she deeply wishes this place could provide freaking backpacks, or any type of bag really, to its students. The heat is a little overpowering today, and with the weight of the items she has to carry from class to class and the sweaty hair clinging of the back of her neck, Karin can only be glad that her day is finally over. Soon she'll get to go back to her room, bathe in lukewarm water and finally be allowed to chill.
But of course, as she gets to the top of the stairway she trips, causing the books in her arms to fall dramatically down the stairs, leaving her nearly biting her fist to prevent herself from cussing out loud.
She inhales a deep breath and looks up as if reaching out to some unknown divine presence. Seriously?
Karin eventually sighs and walks down the stairs, beginning to grab her books one by one when suddenly she notices feet stopping right in front of her, hovering.
"Well, well. If it isn't the youngest Kurosaki." A guy she doesn't know speaks and she can already tell he's going to piss her off.
Sighing yet again, Karin leaves the pile of books on the ground as she gets up, facing two dudes she doesn't remember ever talking to. Their faces look a little familiar, a sign they might be in one of her classes. She's always had a bad memory when it came to new classmates, though.
"Do I know you?" she asks with frowned brows, already dreading the answer.
He chuckles incredulously while the other one behind him simply keeps an annoying smirk plastered on his face. "Oh, I don't know, maybe we're not relevant enough for you to remember us." The look he's wearing tells her he wants to challenge her, but there's also something in his voice. Like he's angry.
"After all," he continues, still staring down at her. Karin's eyes narrow. "Someone saw you a few days ago with Matsumoto-fukutaichou. Is that your secret? Is that how you're already able to use kido like it's nothing?" He laughs humorlessly. "By using your family name to get personal training from the highest ranked officers?"
Karin's jaw nearly drops at the audacity of this guy. Instead she crosses her arms over her chest, not breaking eye contact as if her life depended on it.
"Sorry to disappoint, but I don't use my friends for my own benefit."
"Is that so? See, I think you're lying." The other guy jumps in suddenly. And here she thought he was just standing there to cheer the other one on. "Or you're hiding something at the very least."
Karin doesn't falter, instead she feels a pressure starting to form on her temples just from talking to these guys. She'd rather die than to let it show, though, and smirks instead, shaking her head.
"I'm flattered, really." She raises an eyebrow. "I didn't know my social life was just so goddamn interesting to the point of stalking me, but this little ambush, or whatever it is, is frankly ridiculous. Now," Karin bents down, picking up her books then turning around to leave. "If you fuckers will excuse me, I have some studying to do."
"Oh, that's rich. I'm afraid we're not done here-."
Karin feels like this is just the tip of the iceberg. She swears, one more word and she's gonna drop her books and kick this guy's ass-.
"I think you are."
Karin frowns when a third voice appears seemingly out of nowhere. She turns her head around only to see a third guy coming down the stairs, one book tucked under his arm. He looks familiar, real familiar, but the late afternoon sun hits his frame from behind and Karin can't pinpoint who he is.
The two jerks seem to freeze as they turn back to face the new guy. Any trace of anger vanishes from their faces, and one of them has his eyes so wide open he looks like he's about to piss himself.
"Oishi…" the same guy mumbles, surprise evident in his voice.
Karin blinks as she hears the name. He steps off the last stair, making his face more visible and confirming her thoughts. Yep, this is the same guy she fought during her first close combat class.
His expression is hard to read, although Karin spots an emotion tugging at his eyebrow, irritation? He kind of looks like someone just sneezed in his cup of tea and he's about to punch them for it.
"Don't you guys really have nothing better to do than to harass people?" he says and sounds nearly emotionless. "It's not her fault she's better than you even though she just joined the academy."
The first guy chokes on his own words, too taken aback to even speak, while the second one just stands there like a toothpick, eyes as wide as saucers.
"The hell did you just say?!" The first one manages to blurt out.
"I think you heard me." Oishi walks closer to him, staring down at him. Only then does Karin notices how tall he is, much taller than the two shitheads. His messy brown hair falls above his eyes, so from where the shitheads are standing, she can only imagine he looks even more intimidating. "Now, if you're not gonna do anything about it. Please leave."
It takes a while before anyone reacts. Karin just feels like she's a spectator watching some kind of play unfold. The first guy clenches his fists once, then twice, but hesitates. Oishi on the other hand, looks like he couldn't care less what happens next. The blonde girl's words suddenly echo in her head.
He's actually the best first year in hand to hand combat.
May be why they look just about ready to shit themselves.
"Fuck this," the guy growls out in an attempt to make the situation less embarrassing on his end. He looks so far from pleased though, so there's no way that was fruitful. Eventually both guys step back, climbing up the stairs and disappearing from view as one of them grumbles incoherent nonsense.
When their footsteps melt within the building and silence takes over, Oishi's eyes fall on her and Karin frowns, squeezing the books in her arms.
"So. Oishi, I presume." The guy stands still; doesn't even nod. "Might I ask what the fuck that was?"
He shrugs. "Those guys are brats. Been wanting to tell them off for a while now. I saw the opportunity, so I took it."
Karin's frown lingers, if anything deepens. "I was handling it just fine."
"I…know." Oishi squares his shoulders like he's suddenly a little uncomfortable, and finally breaks eye contact. "I'm gonna be taking off, sorry for meddling in."
He turns around and starts walking in the opposite direction of the corridor when Karin calls out after him before it's too late. "Wait!"
Oishi stops, twisting his head around slowly and giving her a chance to say what she has to say. Karin blinks, suddenly hesitant.
"Hm…I… I never apologized for that kido attack I threw at you the other day." She shakes her head slightly, suddenly very much aware of the weight of the books she's carrying.
Oishi stares at her a second longer, unfazed. "No need. It was fair play. We're at an academy for Shinigamis after all, aren't we?"
And with that he takes off down the corridor, leaving Karin to stand by herself, speechless.
"Knock, knock."
Ichigo cracks an eye open at the interrupting voice, turning his head slowly to take a look at the culprit. At the sight of Rukia's figure standing in his office, hip leaning onto the edge of his desk, he smiles.
"Hey," he answers automatically.
"Were you meditating?" she asks with a raised brow. Ichigo looks down at his position; crossed-legged with his palms resting on top of his knees. His body feels like stone, almost like he doesn't remember how to move his own limbs. He decides to stay still as he nods.
"Yep, it was Shinji's idea." Ichigo scoffs as he recalls this morning's conversation. "Thought it might help me concentrate on all that 'inner world' extravaganza without him in the room."
Rukia gives a short laugh, her curious expression still intact. "And?"
Ichigo sighs, feeling the joints in his spine crack as he lets his back fall into a more natural rounded shape. "And, as much as Shinji's presence is a constant source of stress in my life," he notices Rukia briefly allow herself an eyeroll. "It didn't change anything."
Rukia's gaze lingers on him for a moment, then flicks up at the clock nailed to the back wall. She squints, nodding her head slowly with a pensive hum.
"I see." She answers. "And how long would you say you meditated for?"
Ichigo fights back a yawn, stretching out his sore legs as he reflects over that question. "Uh, I don't know, like an hour? Maybe two."
Rukia's eyes fall back on him. She looks like she's in on a secret she's not supposed to share, and Ichigo frowns. "What?"
"Ichigo, it's 6 o'clock in the evening."
He stares at her in silence. It feels like his mouth is sewed shut and his eyes are growing dry from the lack of blinking. There's no way he spent the entire day-
Turning to look at the clock for himself, his mouth drops open. "Well, shit."
"I guess Hirako-taichou's idea worked out better than you expected, huh." Rukia says, amused when she moves to sit, this time directly on his desk. "I've actually been here for about twenty minutes, you didn't even hear me come in," she confesses with a grin.
"What?" Ichigo gets up, a frown making its appearance for the first time today. "And you just stood there watching me?" He stretches out his arms, feeling a warmth spreading in his shoulder blades. "That's kind of…"
Rukia waits patiently, arms crossed in their usual place. "…kind of?"
"Creepy." Ichigo says when he finds the right word, placing the colored sitting mat back in the middle of the room where it belongs, before turning back to face her, eyes teasing.
Her retort takes the form of yet another roll of her eyes. "As if." It doesn't last long though; slowly she reclaims a bit of seriousness before speaking her next words. "Did he…say anything?"
He. Ichigo shakes his head, sighing. "Nope. I guess the meditation helped me focus, but I didn't hear him at all. Or feel his presence, for that matter."
Nodding, Rukia pushes herself off the desk. "Well, at least it's still progress."
"How so?"
"Because," she reaches out to him, tapping his chest with her tiny knuckles. "Even though you still suck at feeling for other people's reiatsu, you're getting better at focusing on your inner world."
Ichigo scratches the back of his head, groaning out his next words. "Wow, I don't know if I should take it as a compliment or an insult."
She grins, and it's one of those faces she makes that tells him her mind is currently at ease. It instantly makes him let go of tensions he didn't know he had been holding in.
In all honesty, he's surprised he hasn't spent all day apprehending more news related to Atsuyo Shiba. Yesterday had been an odd day to say the least; torn between a raging headache from the night before -where he had drank more than his liver could probably handle-, and never-ending discussions with Shinji, Ukitake and Byakuya about last minute decisions regarding the division. He hadn't had time to see Rukia, which, even though he would never admit it out loud, put him in a grumpy mood for the second half of the day.
And like the cherry on top of the sundae, he had been informed of Atsuyo Shiba's imminent and official graduation from the academy. Having passed all the sixth-year's exams with a far above-average score, he was expected to leave the academy's grounds and join the 14th division within the upcoming day or two.
But in this particular moment, with Rukia standing merely a meter away from him and looking at him with that look of hers, Ichigo forgets all about that crappy day. "How about you?" He inquires, walking around his desk and letting himself flop down on his chair, stretching his neck. "I heard you had a busy last couple days." A grin tugs at the corner of his mouth. "Ukitake said he had to transfer squad training as well as a mountain of paperwork over to you, he felt really bad about it."
Rukia blinks, her expression softening. "He shouldn't. I don't mind the paperwork. It's part of my job, after all."
Ichigo studies her maybe a second longer than he should've and tilts his head ever so slightly. He's lucky to have you as a lieutenant, his gaze tells her, and she stares back, the hint of a smile pulling the corner of her lips upwards, like she understands.
"How's he doing by the way?" he asks instead.
Rukia's eyes venture around for a moment while she's thinking about it, but soon enough she nods, lively. "He's good. His sickness seems to be under control." She lets her shoulders give a short shrug. "Naps more than he used to, but it's still less than Kyoraku-taichou, so there's that."
Ichigo snorts out a laugh and Rukia's lips give out as her smile widens a little. As he's about to make some stupid, quite honestly futile joke, Ichigo's gaze falls onto Rukia's bottom lip when she quickly passes her tongue over it. Funny, it's a tick she's always had but somehow it never stood out to him just as much as it does now.
Not a second later his head becomes filled with images from a few nights ago. Images he had forbade himself to even think about in the fear of letting them take over and drive his brain into a useless mush of grey matter.
He swallows, clearing his throat. "Hm, listen. I just wanted to say…about the other night-."
Knock, knock, knock.
Both Ichigo and Rukia jump a little at the sound of someone right outside the captain office. It's not like it's anything new; a subordinate requesting assistance, whether it be for a signature or to deliver a message, happens all the time. Even Ichigo, who only recently entered what he likes to call the 'world of Seireitei politics', is already getting used to these intrusions in his office. Really, nothing to be startled about.
But both being extremely aware of the subject that was about to be tackled just a mere second ago caused their focus to diverge from their surroundings, no matter how briefly. Call it a physiological response, if you will.
Almost instantly, Rukia's shoulders slump out of their tensed state, as if realizing how foolish it was and correcting the situation as quickly as it happened. And it's like the opposite happens to her face; while it had been simple and genuine during their conversation, it was now plunged back into its closed, strictly professional aura.
An aura created from these Seireitei politics, Ichigo thinks, but at least it doesn't come even remotely close to the frigidity of the nobility mask. The one he cannot help but loathe with his entire being, maybe just as much as Rukia does.
Stepping back into his captain shoes, Ichigo clears his throat before calling out to the intruder, scowl already neatly in place. "Come in."
In spite of all of the above, nothing had quite prepared them for Atsuyo Shiba sliding the office door open and stepping into the room.
Karin's body feels like it weights nothing. It's a pleasant feeling, especially after all those aches and bruises that have been pestering her muscles and flesh ever since the practical classes started. Practical. She suppresses a huff. It's about time she starts calling it what a normal pupil would. Training, she corrects herself.
If she had underestimated one thing, it was how much those communal baths could help a person decompress, especially after such a shit-fest of a day. Karin almost lets her thoughts wander back to those two fucktards and their miserable attempt to verbally attack her in the middle of the hallway, but thankfully the warmth of the water travels across her skin, gentle and swaying. It takes her useless thoughts away.
Then she almost recalls Oishi, the way he looked so out of place yet not in the slightest. She almost allows herself to wonder what his intentions were; stepping in the middle of such a vain exchange, if his borderline bored-looking glare was any indication at all. Almost. But thankfully, the steam rises above the unagitated surface, floats there in a manner that's just so composed that Karin can't help falling into a similar state. She inhales, and her ears don't even seem to register the sound.
She exhales. There's no sound at all. Weird. She repeats the process, and it's like she's gone completely deaf. Now that she thinks about it, weren't there other girls in the bath chatting when she came in? Still complete silence. It seems to engulf her entirely.
Karin's heartrate picks up unwillingly and she doesn't even fight the frown on her face. Why can't she hear a thing? Has she fallen asleep? No, that doesn't make any sense.
The limbs which weighed close to nothing a minute ago now feel like they've melted into the water. Karin tries to move her legs, her arms, anything really. But can't manage a single movement. Her pulse quickens even more, and even the sound of her own heartbeat is absent. Could she be…dead?
Just then, here eyes fling open. It feels like she didn't even do it on her own, rather, someone else allowed her to. She still can't hear a single sound, but at least now she can look around.
And that's when panic sets in.
She's not in the bath anymore. She's not even at the academy, it seems. She's standing on some kind of land, and the ground suddenly feels rough on her feet. It involuntarily reminds her of that place, in Rukongai. The sky is dark, so dark she can't see anything else but black, as if someone dropped a splatter of ink and created this.
Karin looks down; her body is entirely naked. She seems to be standing on her own two legs, even though they don't feel functional. How can that be? It's like her muscles are asleep; like they aren't her own anymore.
She feels her eyelids blink. The memory of the steam from the bathing room is suddenly replaced by fog, impenetrable fog that seems to cover everything. Karin looks down again; she can't even see past her own waist as the rest is hidden under the same thick mist. She wonders if it made her legs disappear. If it'll make all of her disappear. She swallows but can't feel it in her throat. Maybe even her organs belong to someone else, now.
Then a light emerges form the black, black sky. It's a moon. Or is it? Something in Karin tells her it is, screams at her, even, although this moon doesn't hold any type of shape. She can't tell if it's a full moon, or only a crescent.
The fog suddenly moves. It blinds her, chokes her as it enters her lungs. She can't breathe properly. There's still no sound, no more sensations. Her pulse is frantic, hitting hard against her skin in a blurry urge to stay alive. Is there blood even going through her veins? She thinks her heart might give out soon, but does she even have one anymore?
Then, nothing. Karin thinks perhaps she no longer exists.
Something echoes all of a sudden. It's barely a sound at first, but it's getting closer. And closer. Does that mean she can hear- no, rather, is she allowed to hear? There's the image of a newborn appearing in her mind. Is this what it's like to be born again?
The sound travels closer. If she really, entirely focuses on it, Karin thinks it may be a voice. It's a bit distorted. She can't quite tell if it the voice is male or female.
Or if it's even human.
Suddenly, it feels like the fog crumbles inside of her. It hurts- fuck, it hurts. And she can't breathe, she needs to breathe, she needs to-
Her lungs clear up as something collides with her ribcage and Karin's breath resonates when she gasps loud, so goddamn loud it feels like it'll burst her eardrums.
At last, the voice pierces through and whispers.
Karin.
Karin's eyes fly open in terror and she gasps for air, coughing as she does so. Her vision is hazed, causing her to reach for anything to hold onto. She feels her palms connect with marble. It's a floor. Water splashes at her rash movements, and she feels it this time. She can hear her ragged breaths and looks at her surroundings as her vision clears up.
She's in the communal bath.
A handful of girls who are still in the bath a few meters away stare at her like she's an alien, or worse. Karin manages to calm her crazed breathing a little, but not enough to keep their judging murmurs at bay, apparently. She stands up on her shaky legs, clutching the towel covering her body and steps out of the bath.
"Sorry," she utters in an odd voice. It sounds like someone else's. Karin gulps down the anxiety building in her throat and exits the room, not looking back.
As soon as Atsuyo Shiba walks into his office, Ichigo's entire frame squares up, suppressing the widening of his eyes by deepening the severity on his face.
He doesn't have time for any other thoughts before the boy speaks up.
"Pardon my intrusion," Atsuyo's face is hidden as he bows in a perfect ninety-degree angle. "Kurosaki-taichou."
Ichigo blinks from where he's standing. He waits, mostly from lack of words, and is tempted to meet Rukia's eyes. He swears, he would kill to know the thoughts going through her head right now. Atsuyo still doesn't rise, maintaining his position.
Ichigo frowns, at this point, more out of curiosity than anything else. He supposes the boy is waiting for him to speak and snaps himself out of his strange state. "Uh…it's fine."
Atsuyo finally rises and meets Ichigo's eyes first, although not for very long. He catches sight of Rukia and his surprised gaze jumps to her, eyes widening for half a second before he bows yet again. "Oh, uh- Kuchiki-fukutaichou." He straightens himself and somehow, seems entirely out of his comfort zone. He hurries with his next line. "My apologies, sir. I didn't know you were occupied. I can come back when it's more convenient for you."
Sir?
Thankfully -or not so much-, Rukia speaks first, pulling Ichigo out of his stupor, reminding him that he doesn't have much of a choice than to do so.
"It's not a problem," Rukia replies, stoical. However, Ichigo doesn't miss the slight twitch of her brow, a heartbeat of hesitation. Perhaps not knowing how to address him, not yet. "I was just on my way."
She gives Ichigo the quickest of nods, one Atsuyo probably doesn't even notice, before she turns to the young lieutenant and bows her head politely, to which he replies similarly. And then, all too soon she's gone, shutting the door behind her.
Ichigo wonders if she'll stay close by and listen in on their conversation. He surprises himself hoping that she does, even though, knowing her, it's clear she's already far away. Most likely heading to her office to occupy herself with more paperwork, if he has to take a guess.
He decides to stay quiet, leaving room for Atsuyo to say what he came here to say.
Physically speaking, he looks the same as the first time Ichigo laid eyes on him. A little shorter than Ichigo himself, black hair, although not quite as dark as Rukia's, and brown eyes. He looks fit, but his young age is clearly visible by his lack of shoulder width. He looks pretty scrawny, nearly as much as Uryu Ishida himself.
It wouldn't be a stretch to dare say that the guy almost looks a little nervous. It's a complete 180 of the vibes he gave off when he first introduced himself to the captains and vice-captains of the Seireitei, over two weeks ago. Ichigo juggles with the information, not knowing what to do with it.
Atsuyo clears his throat before taking the lead. "It's an honor to finally meet you, Kurosaki-taichou." He doesn't quite maintain direct eye-contact, almost like he wants to show his respect. "I heard a lot about your accomplishments."
The honorifics leave a weird sound in Ichigo's ears, and he squints despite his best efforts. He doesn't correct or critique Atsuyo, though. Instead, he nods once. "I could say the same to you."
Atsuyo looks a little surprised, not by the praise but rather by the sole fact that Ichigo answered. He tilts his chin, and his expression becomes harder to read. "I don't believe mine should be compared to yours, sir."
Ichigo frowns. What is this, an ass-kissing contest? The kid looks genuine enough; it's hard to think he doesn't mean the words coming out of his mouth.
"Sorry, sir." Atsuyo picks up the conversation again. "I won't take up more of your time. I just thought it was important to properly introduce myself before joining your division."
Ichigo keeps quiet. Maybe he isn't acknowledging the tension in the room, but Atsuyo seems more than aware for the both of them.
Bowing his head for the third time, "I look forward to serving under your leadership." He turns to leave then, like he's afraid of overstaying his welcome, but that's when Ichigo stops him.
"Atsuyo."
His voice is hard, maybe sounding a little harsher than he had intended, but hell. Now that he's committed, there's no going back. The boy's eyes flick up instantly and he doesn't manage to hide the surprise on his face. Both stare at each other in silence.
"We'll be spending a whole lot of time together in the following months." Ichigo states, pausing briefly and allowing Atsuyo time to nod in agreement. "Now, I'm not one to indulge in the whole power-trip thing, so I'd rather you be straight with me."
Atsuyo stands as still as a statue, attentive to Ichigo's words like his life depends on it. Ichigo is painfully aware that he doesn't know this kid in the slightest. All he's heard in the last few weeks seemed to be disguised as warnings, uncertainties surrounding this one guy and his mystery of a noble family. Honestly, he could be on either ends of the spectrum. For now, Ichigo has absolutely no way of knowing.
But that doesn't mean he can't listen to what his gut is telling him. He's always put faith in his instincts, and he doesn't see why this time should be any different.
Atsuyo Shiba deserves a chance.
"But if we're going to work together, I just want to get one thing clear," Ichigo says as he angles his head slightly, not breaking eye contact. "No bullshit."
Silence rings in the room. Atsuyo returns the stare with sealed, thin lips, and although his eyes don't quite carry the same intensity as Ichigo's, for a single moment, they're on even grounds. It's like they're shaking hands and agreeing to understand to other.
Equals.
"No bullshit," Atsuyo repeats his captain's words, and nods.