Good reading
CHAPTER 4 : Vision
.
Gaius could not calm Merlin who kept struggling in his arms. The words that his ward repeated in a broken voice, "I want to go home," echoed in his head as if he no longer belonged in this world.
"I want to go home!"
"You are home, Merlin," he spoke, hugging him gently.
Gaius had sensed that something was wrong lately and regretted not really paying attention to it. Merlin was always in a cheerful mood, sometimes upset, but his mischievous, amused smile was gone.
When he felt him calmer, Gaius let go of him and stayed by his side.
"You don't understand, Gaius," Merlin muttered, his voice full of sobs. "My husband and son are waiting for me. You know, I'm pregnant with twins..."
Gaius frowned as he stared at him: how could he know that it was rare that a wizard could conceive a child? And why was he dreaming it?
"What are they called?"
Merlin sniffed and looked away, by wiping away his tears.
"I won't tell you, you're not real."
"What?"
"You are part of a dream that steals me of time with them..."
"All right Merlin, tell me what you remember last."
His question gave to Gaius time to rise with the intention of casting a sleeping spell on him, but he froze when Merlin revealed to him:
"My son told me... echo, but that's not the point Gaius," he told him suddenly coldly, "I want to go home!"
Gaius gasped in panic: his ward had just turned his face and was shooting him a surprisingly dark look. The tears had given way to frightening anger. If he didn't know him better, he'd swear Merlin would have been ready to send him tumbling into a wall.
"Send me back to where I came from!" he ordered.
As he said this, Merlin had stood up, look threatening, that forcing Gaius to walk backward. If his ward believed that this world was indeed a dream as Gaius understood it, then he had no choice but to recite the spell that sent him into a deep sleep.
As he left Merlin's room, he realized that his limbs were shaking and worse, his heart was racing as he knew what "echo" meant.
.
.
Arthur, far from suspecting what the physician was going through, could not sleep. He lay on his bed, his eyes staring at an imaginary point. Why had Merlin never told him about Charles? Tonight, just for tonight, he wanted to mourn him, mourn the man who would never want him. When the sun came up, he would support him as a friend would, for after all, that was what Arthur wanted Merlin to remember. No, the royal jerk that he was.
And then maybe tomorrow, Charles will be there and make his Merlin smile.
.
A few hours before Merlin screams for death, Hunith was staring at every knight in front of her door. She had just listened to Gwaine who asked her if she knew a man named Charles, because his son claimed him. There was a certain urgency in their look that worried her. These men were not telling her the whole truth and were certainly hiding her child's condition from her.
"What's happening to my boy?" she asked them.
"Madam," Leon allowed himself as he introduced himself, "Merlin is unwell, which is why we ask that Charles come with us."
"Charles was his grandfather," she revealed to them.
"Was?" repeated Gwaine, livid.
"Yes, my father is dead."
Lancelot stepped forward and told her what he knew:
"Merlin is ill, we don't know what ailment it is, Gaius only told us that he kept to himself and that he needed Charles."
She left them outside her door, quickly filled a large bag with some clothes and locked her house.
"Let's go," she ordered them in a voice that demanded no refusal.
The three knights did not dare to look up at the worried mother. Once everyone was ready to leave, they made their way without stopping at Camelot.
On the way, the silence of the men suggested the worst, but Hunith knew her son. Merlin would never have given his father's name, except for the child she would have loved to have seen born one day. However, she knew that would not happen. Her son was devoted to the king and she knew that this man's life would come before even his own happiness.
.
.
At the first light of the sun, Arthur couldn't take it anymore. He dressed hastily and headed for Gaius' laboratory as quickly as possible. He had resisted, all night long, the urge to check on Merlin.
At the turn of a corridor, he bumped into Gwaine, who grumbled for a few seconds.
"Gwaine? Tell me you're back with Charles!" he exclaimed.
"Sire," the knight growled, running a hand over his lips, "Charles is dead."
"WHAT?" shouted Arthur who did not expect this bad news
"Look," Gwaine resumed, "Charles was Merlin's grandfather and he died, already years ago and..."
"So you haven't found the right Charles?" interrupted Arthur, a little annoyed.
Gwaine widened his eyes and suddenly growled at the lack of oxygen his brain was having trouble recovering.
"Sire, as I said last time, THERE IS NO ONE WITH THAT NAME IN YOUR KINGDOM! And then, what is it this name, Char-les?"
Arthur, who had no desire to waste his time, continued on his way and opened the door of the laboratory.
"His mother came with us," whispered Gwaine, who had followed in his wake.
.
.
When Hunith arrived, she rushed into the arms of her friend.
"Gaius, how is he?"
"I'm not going to lie to you, go see him, but then we need to talk, and fast."
"All right," Hunith replied even more worried.
Gaius stepped aside and encouraged her by tightening a grip on her shoulder. She didn't really know what to expect, but she knew how to handle it. As she pushed open the door, her eyes locked on her son's body. She sat on the edge of the bed and stroked Merlin's forehead. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Time may have passed, making Merlin an accomplished young man, but he stayed still her little boy. Her lips quirked as she noticed that he had lost weight. Seeing the beginnings of natural awakening, she did her best to look happy.
"Mom?"
"Merlin..."
There was a glint of sadness in his blue eyes that managed to stab her. Before she could speak to him, Merlin threw himself against her and sobbed like she had never heard him.
Hunith, saddened by this strange behavior, hugged him and let him cry. There was no point in arguing under these conditions. Merlin's head resting against her chest, she swallowed as she felt her boy's uncontrollable spasms. Hoping that it was only a huge heartache, which would pass only with time, she comforted him by rocking him gently.
When Merlin calmed down, she asked him what was wrong. Instead of answering her immediately, Merlin redoubled his tears, then told her in tears about his strange dreams. Dreams that seemed to have taken him to a world where he had his little family. A place where Arthur was his lover, a totally caring man who was nothing like the one he knew. She held back her tears when he mentioned Charles' name.
"You'd see how adorable Charles is," he whispered, lifting his face to her. "You would have loved him and I'm pregnant with twins, I know I could never have any, but that dream was so true, when Arthur touches me I feel him like I feel you, when he talks to me there's such a sweetness in his voice that I really feel unique and not silly..."
She took the time to understand his dream, because since she had given birth to this wonderful boy, she had always known that magic will be an integral part of his life.
"Will you blame me if I think I don't belong here?" he asked her, his lips vibrating with sorrow.
What could she say to him when she could see the love he had for Arthur in his eyes? She had seen that look before, but at the time, Merlin didn't quite realize it.
"Your place is with Arthur," she replied.
"Mother, don't force me to stay here. I just want to sleep and go home."
This time, she did not hold back. She gave in to her tears and just nodded.
"Thanks, Mom," he replied as he lay back on the bed and closed his eyes, a smile on his face.
She looked at him, her heart aching. It was time Arthur knew who Merlin really was. So she placed a kiss on her boy's cheeks and whispered in his ear:
"Dream of them if that's what you want, but I'm sure you can experience the same thing here too..."
She wiped away her tears and left the room, her heart in turmoil.
.
.
Everyone seemed to suddenly freeze as Hunith left Merlin's chamber. She met Gaius' tired eyes for few seconds, then recognized the knights and Guinevere, and turned to the king. What she was about to say would prove to him if Arthur really cared about his son.
"Sire," she whispered, at last, "Merlin has dreams that seem real to him."
"Is he bewitched?" he stammered.
"No, I don't think so, but," she said, emphasizing her every word, "if Merlin wants to return to his dreams, it's because he's held on to a life he'll never have here."
"Why doesn't he think live it here?" asked Arthur.
"In his dreams, sire, you and Merlin are together..."
As she spoke her words, tears rolled down the king's cheeks. Her heart softened because maybe there was a chance that this man loved Merlin.
"You have a wonderful boy, Charles. There's no denying that Merlin loves you, but he's convinced he doesn't belong here anymore. Do you love him, sire?"
"Yes..."
"Even if my son is a wizard?" she dared to add.
Hunith was banking on Merlin's dreams. Everything about the magic around her child was not trivial. If he had to do them, it was not by chance, there was always a reason. No matter what this revelation was, Arthur had to bring Merlin back to this reality before he fell into irreversible dementia. The last words of his boy had been the proof.
Her eyes still fixed on the king's, she waited several minutes before he whispered in a weak but emphatic voice:
"Yes."
Arthur was having a hard time dealing with the fact that Merlin was a wizard. He felt like joining him and shaking him. But how could he be reproached, if he already seemed to be fading away?
"Fine, in that case, I'll allow you to find him and," she suggested with a look that seemed to say not to hurt her boy, "be yourself."
Arthur, his eyes shining, walked to the door that separated him from the one he loved. He lay down against Merlin, his heart racing with the rhythm of his jerky breathing. Then, in a tender gesture, he slipped an arm around the young wizard's waist.
.
.
Merlin, his eyelids closed, felt a warmth behind him and listened to the voice of his beloved.
"I will build you a life together, I will be there to make you happy, my arms will comfort you when you are not well, but please my heart, come back to me, Merlin, I love you..."
...-M&A-...
Merlin felt drained as he opened his eyes, but he was home, where he belonged. On his right stood his Arthur, who looked like he had been crying.
"They're in great shape," his king whispered to him with a hoarse voice and tears in his eyes, "a little girl and a little boy..."
Merlin smiled. So that was it, his twins were finally here. It was probably because of this that he felt terribly tired. He closed his eyelids for a few seconds as he felt a hand of his lover against his cheek and a kiss on his forehead.
"Hey, nice to see you awake boy," Gaius whispered as he approached carrying his babies at arm's length.
When Merlin felt the warmth of these two little beings, he cried with joy. They were so calm and so cute that he placed a kiss on their cheeks. Happy. Just happy. There were no words to describe this moment. He gazed at them for a moment before leaving them in the care of his former mentor. Watching him walk out the door, Merlin looked at Arthur with pride.
"We've done well..."
Merlin, exhausted, watched as his king with love. The fatigue was so great that his strength seemed to have left him.
"I love you, Arthur," he murmured, closing his eyes.
It was strange, his body no longer obeyed him and his magic was about to leave him. Yet, despite this feeling, he was happy.
.
.
It had been half an hour since his valet had fallen into a deep sleep. He had even rolled over and curled up against Arthur. Was he still dreaming about them? Surely, the king thought as he saw his lips draw a slight smile. Facing the calmed face, Arthur allowed himself to close his eyes in turn. Just a few minutes...
.
.
Arthur was in an unusual place, everything around him was opaline. Like disappearing clouds, shivers suddenly ran through his body: he saw himself, another him, leaning over Merlin's body. It was as if he was living a scene outside his own body.
Was he in Merlin's dream?
Arthur could see him lying on his royal bed, his face pale.
"I love you, Arthur..." whispered Merlin to his "him" leaning over the wizard.
From where Arthur was, he could see them in front of him. There was something sad about the picture, a life that didn't exist in his and a love that was striking.
A small shadow caught his eye as she approached the bed. When Arthur could make it out, he put a hand against his mouth and tears began to blur his vision, "Charles." The little boy stopped a few steps away from his "him" of this dream.
Arthur recognized his own features of sadness and as he saw it on this king's face, a bad feeling came over his whole body.
"My heart," whispered the voice of this Arthur as he slowly raised Merlin's chest.
The lips as vibrating as his "him" present, he listened to him asking:
"Do you regret, my heart?"
A smile appeared on the pale face of the sorcerer who opened with difficulty his eyelids.
"No, my prince," Merlin's weakened, loving voice replied, "if I had to do it all over again, I would, I have... loved..."
"I have loved..." Why the past tense? Why was Merlin as white as a dead man? No, it couldn't be that? Arthur, heartbroken, took a step back and forced himself not to believe this dream. It was even a nightmare!
"I loved our life, I loved having you all to myself."
Arthur refused to look any further. He spun around looking for a way out, but his gaze fell on this Arthur of this world who was clasping a hand in Merlin's.
"My heart, I love you," wept his"him". "My heart, don't leave me, Merlin."
His lips contorted in pain and chest compressed, Arthur was living his worst nightmare. What magic could be so powerful as to dare show him this future? Because that's what it was all about, right?
Suddenly, Arthur felt a warmth around him, as if it were ordering him to open his eyes and see beyond the scene. It was at that moment that he saw his son sweep the air with his hand in the direction of the wizard. At this gesture, a small white light left the wizard's body and Arthur understood that Charles had just taken his Merlin's spirit out of this reality.
The atmosphere had become both heavy and light.
"My heart, Merlin, noooo," choked his "him", "I love you, stay, stay..."
Arthur, destitute, accompanied the tears of this king. Merlin had just given his last breath. To see himself in a world where there would be no more his wizard was unthinkable. He stepped back, shaking his head nervously. Unable to stop his hiccups and tears, Arthur felt like he was going to die. Why did the pain have to keep breaking his life? Why did he have to suffer more loss?
Merlin didn't deserve this! He had always been there, through the good times and the bad times of Camelot, and even of his own.
The opaline mist invaded his room with a certain softness that managed to soothe his soul and his heart. It was at that moment that he saw Charles raising his sad eyes in his direction. Arthur, terrified to realize that this child saw him, watched him walk towards him. Through the childlike face he easily recognized Merlin's features.
"Charles?" he spoke with a trembling voice.
The child's face contorted into a painful grimace that had the effect of stabbing him as shivers chilled his back. There was a determination in Charles' behavior that disturbed him. The latter put his little hands hard on his knees which suddenly seemed to burn him:
"Father! It's Echo! Echo! Echo!"
Before returning to his reality, as he seemed to understand it, Arthur saw a bluish glint in his son's eyes, a glint that begged him to listen to him...
.
.
Eyes wide and filled with salty beads, Arthur moved his fingers to feel the sheet under his weight. "Echo... " he reminded himself as he slowly got up to avoid waking Merlin, but placed a kiss on his forehead and whispered an "I love you" in his ear with all his love.
As he left the room, he met Hunith's eyes and then Gaius'. His face must have frightened them, because in their eyes he could feel their distress. The three of them, alone in the laboratory, were silent for a few moments, adding a tension in the room.
"I don't think Merlin is dreaming, it's more like a vision of the future," Arthur spoke, shaking his head, "and I think it has something to do with Echo."
"We know it," Hunith replied painfully.
The king understood that she and Gaius had had time to talk, and he sensed that some bad new was about to hit him. As if Gaius understood his silent question, the old man came over and told him what he had found in an old grimoire after forcing Merlin to sleep the night before.
"Echo is a rare disease that affects powerful wizards, it allows the patient to see his future, but it destabilizes him depending on the importance of the future that is revealed to him. This is why Merlin can no longer think for himself. Echo, as its name indicates, sends him to moments that he will live and that may come true if it does not kill him first. She is deadly."
"No!" cried Arthur with aplomb.
With a hand in his hair and his breath coming out in a rush, Arthur was thinking... because Merlin couldn't just abandon him.
"I couldn't dream of his death, Gaius," he groaned, covering his trembling mouth with one hand. "Charles, he's the one who told me 'echo'! He knew when our Merlin was here... Charles looked at me! He begged me! I refuse to believe that I dreamed of this!"
Arthur screamed in pain as he felt his knees burn violently it. He quickly pulled up his pants to the top of his thighs which, to the amazement of Gaius and Hunith, revealed two small hand marks.
"Charles," the king whispered, the heart full of hope. You can see that I...
He fell silent as Gaius shook his head.
"What is happening?"
"If Charles is truly your son, Merlin's son, then I am sorry to tell you that this child does not know all the hard laws of the old religion..."
.
.
This chapter has been reworked from its first version.
The next chapter, shorter and also a transition chapter since there will be no more visions/dreams, is focused on Charles to better understand what he
Thank you for reading me