Misconceptions

by Luthien'sLight

What if Harry Potter was a (literal) potato? What if Voldemort grew tired of his incompetent servants? What if Hermione was confused why OP!Harry chose to stay at Hogwarts and not have a harem? All of these questions and more, answered by me at three in the morning, high off caffeine and sleep deprivation!

3. In Which Kreacher Is A Legendary Warrior

"CHAAAAAARGE!"

Kreacher had led his people into many battles. Aged he was, but battle ready as well. This battle, however, was one of the most dangerous he'd ever charged into at the head of. As he wielded his legendary cleaver above his head, he prayed in his heart that there was a God who would accept his soul if the battle was lost.

His army leapt up, hacking and slicing, screams and cries filling the air.

The giant squid flicked the frustrating mosquitoes that had been following him for quite some time now. Was it really so hard just to get a nice summer day at the lake's beach while all the students were gone?

Somewhere, the tip of one of his tentacles was sliced off. Deciding this battle was not one worth having, the squid dove back into the depths of the lake.

Back on the beach, Kreacher held a massive cut of tentacle above his head, shrieking in victory along with the cheers of his people. "TONIGHT," he yelled, "THE MASTERS WILL FEAST ON CALAMARI! AND THE ELVES WILL COOK IT!"

The roar of those below him rose in the air.