A/N - Just a note about the flashback in this chapter. The regular type is what is being said by the characters in the flashback. The italicized sentences are Abby talking over the flashback in the present. We now return you to your regularly scheduled chapter.

FAMILY PORTRAIT, FAMILY SHADOWS

CHAPTER 10

Gibbs' Home

Later That Evening

Gibbs closed the door behind Casey and Kaity and sighed. He felt a little guilty, ambushing Abby this way, but he knew she'd find excuses to keep the kids here if she knew what he had planned. In the kitchen, he took the steaming kettle off the stove and poured the boiling water over the teabag in his mug. He wished he dared add some liquid courage to the tea, but he'd save that for later, after their talk. He had a feeling he was going to need it.

Abby came home from bowling with the nuns, speed talking in her excitement over Sister Bernice's first perfect game ever. She didn't even notice how subdued Gibbs was. He finally managed to get a word in when Abby ran out of air. "We need to talk, Abbs."

"Ok, let me just go up and check on AJ and Kaity." She headed for the stairs.

"They're not here, Abbs."

"What do you mean, they're not here? Where else would they be?"

Gibbs sighed, knowing that this would be the first battle of the night. "Casey took Kaity for the night. AJ is with Tony." He saw Abby's eyes darken with anger.

"You let Tony…."

"I didn't let Tony anything. He's AJ's father, he has every right to spend time with his son."

Abby knew Gibbs had a point, but hated to admit it. And AJ had been pestering her at every turn to go see daddy. But she didn't have to like it. She pouted.

"Stop it, Abby. You're not a five year old getting her toys taken away. Sending your son to spend the night with his father isn't a punishment, for either you or AJ."

She was a little hurt that he was talking to her like this. "Gibbs?"

"No, Abby. This stops now."

Abby sank to the sofa. "Are you mad at me, Gibbs?"

Gibbs ran his hand over his face in frustration and sighed. "No, no I'm not mad. Not at you, anyway. At myself. I should have seen what was going on a long time ago."

Abby swallowed hard. She recognized his tone. That was his 'disappointed dad' voice. "Should have seen what? Are you disappointed with me, Gibbs?" The tears were beginning to well up in her eyes. She hated it when he was disappointed in her. "Why?"

Sighing, Gibbs sat down on the sofa next to her. "I had a talk with DiNozzo today….."

Fire shot through her. "And you're taking his side over mine? How could you do that?!"

"'Ey! The only side I'm on is those kids'. They're the only innocent ones in this whole thing. DiNozzo was just the one unlucky enough to get cornered by me first. I listened to him, now I'm going to listen to you. He's just as much my son as you are my daughter, Abbs. He gets a chance to be heard, just like you do. He's had his say. Now I'm here to listen to you."

Abby hung her head. "Sorry, Gibbs. It's just…with everything that's been going on….I'm feeling kind of raw, you know?" She sighed. She rubbed her stomach uncomfortably. "Where should I start?"

Gibbs pulled her into a small hug and kissed her temple, then set her back a bit. "How about what's really going on between you and Tony?"

"I was afraid you were going to say that." Abby twisted her fingers. "Ummmm….well, I guess you know that we've been fighting a lot. Not physically! If there's one thing I've always been sure of with Tony, it's that he'd never touch me or the kids in anger, so don't go beating him with a baseball bat or anything! We've just been arguing about everything. Money, the kids…..you name it, we've probably had words about it. It could start as something really small, like a tiny disagreement, but it keeps going and going. I'm guessing you're going to tell me that the kids have overheard us, huh?" she asked sheepishly.

"You could say that, yeah." The first tear fell from Abby's eyes. Gibbs knew she wasn't acting, looking for sympathy. She was honestly upset about this.

"I'm a failure as a mother, Gibbs! My poor kids….!"

Gibbs pressed a finger over her lips. "You are not a failure, Abby. You treasure your children, care for them, love 'em….all the important things a parent should do. No marriage is perfect - just look at my track record. Kids are going to hear their parents argue, that's the nature of the beast. But they shouldn't have to hear it all the time."

Abby played with the hem of her shirtsleeves. "I don't know what to do, Gibbs. We used to be able to talk things out, you know? We'd argue, but we'd always manage to work it out, come to some kind of solution, you know? But now….."

"You're not listening to each other."

Abby grimaced. "I suppose not. I don't know what to do, Gibbs…..I thought being separated for a while would help, but….."

Reaching up, Gibbs brushed a tear from her cheek. "Do you love him, Abbs?"

She burst into tears, pulling her knees up to her chest. Gibbs wasn't quite sure what this reaction meant.

"Oh Gibbs…. I love him so much - so much it hurts! I hate being separated from him, hate what's happened between us…I don't know what…..he hates me. He must, after all this."

Gibbs enveloped her in a hug, kissed her head. "No, baby girl. He doesn't hate you. He's hurting just as much as you are, maybe more. And he loves you…..I told him today that in the beginning I worried about the two of you…but even then, the way he looked at you…." He paused, a little overcome, thinking about Shannon.

"How did he look at me?" she asked in a little girl voice.

"The same way he looks at you now - like you hung the moon and the stars. Like his world would end if you weren't in it."

Abby sniffled. "Really?"

Gibbs laughed softly. "Really, Abbs." He held her for a moment, trying to decide if he should say more. "He….called you his Shannon."

"He….he did?"

Another kiss to her head. "Mmhmmm." He gave her a minute to digest that information. "Do you really love him, Abby?"

She nodded. "If he needed a heart transplant, I'd give him mine." She laughed in self-deprecation. "Well, I guess I've done that already."

Gibbs held her away from him again. "Then why are you pushing him away, Abbs?" He asked quietly.

She stood. "Is that what he told you? That I'm pushing him away? That this is all my fault? And you believe him over me?"

Gibbs just stared at her, telling her without words that she was doing it again, jumping to conclusions.

"Well, did you ask him what he did?"

Gibbs nodded silently.

"What did he say?"

"Doesn't matter what he said. I'm talking to you right now, not him." The man may not say a lot, but he sees everything, and he recognizes the signs of Abby feeling insecure - the playing with her fingers, the pacing. Someone or something was making her anxious about her marriage. He knew it wasn't DiNozzo - the man was completely in love with Abby. "So DiNozzo's sleeping around on you?" Gibbs saw the flash of fear in her eyes as she turned to him.

"What?"

"Is…Tony…cheating…on you?"

Abby sputtered in disbelief. "What? No!…He wouldn't….he hasn't….no way!" She bit her lip. "Did….did h-he say he did?"

"Actually, he told me that you said he did."

Dropping back onto the sofa, Abby put her head in her hands. "I don't know anymore, Gibbs. My heart knows he wouldn't, but my head….it keeps telling me differently. I don't want to think he's cheating on me…..he's not, is he?"

"No."

Abby closed her eyes. "I can't believe I even asked you that."

"Abbs, the man spent how long begging you to marry him? Almost two years? Have you ever known DiNozzo to wait that long for anything….not just women, but anything?"

She was torn between crying and arguing. "I didn't ask for him to wait! I told him not to, that I didn't expect him to…! Waiting for me was his own stupid idea!"

Gibbs grabbed her by the arm and spun her around, angry. "So you're saying you're not worth the wait? That my granddaughter isn't worth waiting for? I hope that's not what you're saying." His blue eyes seared into her. Seeing her wilt in his hands, he began to figure out what was going on. His hands softened on her shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. "Abbs….talk to me, sweetheart. If you don't want me to say anything to Tony, then I won't. This is just between you and me." He could see her wavering. "Trust me, Abby. Let me help you get through this. I can't just sit by and watch my kids self-destruct, Abbs. When you hurt, I hurt. You're a parent, you know that."

Abby jumped up off the couch and began pacing rapidly, fingers twisting together with nervousness. "It's stupid…." she mumbled.

"Abby, if it's making you this upset, it's not stupid." He watched as she paused in her pacing and put a hand on her stomach and grimace. Nerves, he figured.

"But it is stupid, Gibbs! That's why it bothers me so much," Abby pleaded. "It's stupid, and I know it, and I still let it bother me! How stupid is that?"

Gibbs stood and walked to Abby, wrapping her in a hug, much like he did for Kelly when she was hurting. "My Abby isn't stupid," he murmured firmly in her ear. "My Abby is scared."

Feeling a twinge again in her belly, Abby clung to Gibbs, crying. "I am! I am scared! So scared he's going to leave me!" She let herself be led back to the couch, and curled up again in Gibbs' arms. "He could have anyone, Gibbs! He could have any woman he wanted, whenever he wanted….but he got stuck with me….what if he regrets it? What if he doesn't want to be seen with damaged goods anymore? What if he decides he doesn't want me or Kaity anymore, because we're dirty!"

Gibbs held her away from him and gave her an angry look. "'Ey! You are not damaged, and neither you nor my granddaughter are in any way dirty!" He gave her a little shake to make her look at him. "I don't ever want to hear you talk about yourself that way again, understand me?" He took her chin in his hand gently, making her see the truth in his eyes. "You are a first-rate forensic specialist, the only reason my team has such a high closure rate is because of you and your forensic magic. You're the most important member of my team. You're a terrific mother to two of the most beautiful children I have ever seen, and they absolutely adore you. You're the treasured wife of one of the best SFA's I've ever worked with," he said softly, kindly. "And I know for a fact that he does not feel like he's stuck with you, and if he had to do it all over again, he would. In a heartbeat. No regrets." Then he took her face tenderly between his two hands. "And you're my daughter, the one person, more than anyone else, that taught me years ago that family is more than just DNA. It's about people who care, who take care of each other." His thumb wiped away a tear. "You are not dirty, you are not damaged, and you are not stupid. So, please….talk to me, Abby. Who put those wrong ideas into your head?"

Abby bit her lip, nervous. "You won't think I'm stupid, or ridiculous, or dumb?" All she received for an answer was a raised eyebrow. She took a deep breath - tried to ignore the twinge again in her belly - and began. "Well, it all started a few months ago…I was in the ladies' room at NCIS….I was just about to come out of the stall, when I overheard these women talking. About Tony….and about me…."

(FLASHBACK)

"…You know who's hot, that Agent DiNozzo!" The woman's companions laughingly agreed.

Another woman spoke up. "But isn't he married? To someone here at NCIS, isn't he? He's got kids, too…"

The third woman in the group scoffed "Yeah, he's married. To that tramp down in the lab. You know, the one with all the black, the tattoos…."

"That's exactly what she called me, Gibbs. A tramp. But it got worse….."

"So? What's the big deal? Maybe she's his type," defended woman number 2.

The other two woman just looked at each other and rolled their eyes. "That's right, you weren't here back then," woman number 1 said, cattily.

"Here's the scoop. About seven, eight years ago, Agent Hottie and the tramp dated for a while. I heard they got pretty hot and heavy. Until….." gossiped woman number 3.

"Until what?"

"I could almost see those bitches enjoying the details of what happened to me, Gibbs. They told this other woman everything - about the fight Tony and I had, my kidnapping, the…the rape," Abby sobbed. "I never knew everyone knew every little detail….but these two bitches sure seemed to…"

"Oh my God! That's awful!" the second woman gasped.

"It gets even worse," informed number 3.

"Yeah," snob number 1 chimed in. "Turns out she got pregnant by her rapist. And actually decided to keep the baby! Can you imagine?" A gasp was the only response. "Uh huh. She made Agent Hot Bod feel sorry for her, conned him into marrying her. Even gave the kid his last name!"

Number 3 finished up the story. "And now he's spent the last seven years hitched to that slut, being a father to some deranged lunatic's kid. If it were me, I'd be afraid the kid would go psycho some night and kill me in my sleep!"

The three women began to walk out. "Yeah, seven years with that dirty bitch. You can bet he's regretting it."

"For sure! A guy like him? Mmmmm-mmmm-mmm! He could have any woman he wanted with the crook of a finger. And he's stuck with damaged goods…."

"I couldn't hear any more, cuz they'd left. But I'd heard enough…."

(END FLASHBACK)

"They were right, Gibbs. Tony felt like he had to marry me. Because he was afraid I would do something drastic. Hurt myself or something. I wouldn't have - I had to prove to Casey that what happened to us wasn't the end of the world, that life could still be good." Abby wiped the tears off her face with the back of her hand. "This was why I made Tony wait so long - I didn't want him to feel trapped, that the baby and I were his responsibility. I didn't want him to give up his life because of me."

A red haze had settled over Gibbs' eyes. No one messed with his kids! "Abby. Tony does not feel stuck. He does not regret a single part of the last seven years." He watched Abby's hand rest on her stomach again. Well, damn, there's another reason for all the emotions, he thought. "Tony. Loves. You. He told me he wants to be sitting in matching rocking chairs on a front porch someday, telling your great-grandchildren how I withheld Caf-Pow from their great grandma - you - until you agreed to marry him."

Abby scrunched up her face. "Longest six hours of my life," she murmured. "He…he really said that? About the great-grandkids?" She asked sheepishly.

"Mm-hm."

"Wow…." Abby played with the hem of her shirt. "I thought guys didn't think about that kind of stuff, great-grandchildren, rocking chairs on the porch…."

Gibbs gently wiped away a stray tear with the back of a finger. "When we're in love …with the right woman, we do….. I did, with Shannon…." His eyes got a little misty. "Thanks to you and Tony, I'm getting to have a part of that, when I never thought it would be possible." He cupped her face. "All Tony wants…is to grow old with you, live out your 'happily ever after.'"

Abby ducked her head. "Guess I've been pretty stupid, huh?" She bit her lower lip.

Pulling her into a comforting hug, Gibbs kissed the top of her head. "Never stupid, Abbs. Just knocked a little off-course is all." He felt Abby tense and suck in a breath, looked down to see her gripping her stomach. "You ok?"

"Yeah, just a little stomach ache. From all the stress, I think. I'm going to go up to bed."

He watched her stand and walk across to the stairs. "Call if you need anything…"

Abby turned and gave Gibbs a small but happy smile. "Thanks, Gibbs. For everything."

Gibbs smiled, maybe blushed a little as he ducked his head. "G'night, Abbs." She went up the stairs with a spring in her step for the first time in a long time. He lay on the couch, picked his book up off the table and opened it. Now all he had to do was get the two of his kids together so they could talk it out. He sighed. But not tonight.

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The DiNozzo Residence

Same Evening

Tony handed the last piece of orange, plastic track to AJ. "Here ya' go, champ. The final piece of our death-defying, sound barrier-breaking, totally awesome racetrack!" He and AJ had made an obstacle course of the bright orange track that ran from the top of the stairs, loop-de-looping into the living room, under the coffee table, up and over the sofa, to end with a flip onto a cushy pillow from the loveseat. He watched his son eagerly attach the last piece, barely able to sit still, he was so excited. Smiling, Tony ran a hand through AJ's hair. "Good thing Uncle Geek still had his old tracks, huh, bud?"

"Yeah!" His eyes were bright as he looked around at his and daddy's masterpiece. He still wasn't exactly sure what a 'Guys' Night' was, but he and daddy were having an awesome time, doing stuff mommy would never let them do. Eating in front of the TV, popcorn fights, a Thomas the Tank Engine marathon, and now, a super-long racetrack for his cars! And he was even going to get to skip his bath, and get to go to bed later than his usual bedtime! "Weddy, daddy!"

"Ok, sport!" Tony swooped AJ up and they headed up the stairs to the beginning of the track. "The video camera is all set to roll, so we'll get to see the whole thing" He set the boy down. "Which car are you going to start with?" AJ pulled his double-sized car carrying case to his side and began looking through his collection, picking some up and studying them, then discarding them. He finally settled on his fire-engine red 1966 Mustang. Tony smiled. "Good choice, son!" he praised. "Start the show with something flashy to catch the audience's attention!"

It took a few trial runs - and lots of running up and down the stairs for father and son - to get the track fixed so the whole thing ran perfectly. They sent AJ's whole flotilla of cars down, and when they were finished, they sat on the couch with bowls of ice cream to watch their finished video, thrilling commentary provided by dad, gut-busting giggles provided by kid.

It was close to nine o'clock when Tony could see AJ starting to yawn and wind down. He was surprised - he hadn't thought the boy would make it the almost two hours past his normal bedtime. He'd started hinting at bedtime at the first yawn, and now, half an hour of being 'not tired' later, AJ had agreed to going to bed. But like his mother, the boy was a master of procrastination. The questions began as Tony helped AJ into his pajamas. "But how's come, daddy?"

Tony sighed. "You know, I'm not sure, bud. We'll have to ask Uncle Geek to look that up for us. C'mon, into bed with you."

AJ put a hand on his father's cheek. "Will you rock a me?" he asked, in that 'poor, little me' baby voice. And as usual, it got him what he wanted.

"Sure, buddy." He knew AJ thought he was getting away with something, but there was nothing Tony liked more than spending this quiet time with his son. Or daughter, he thought sadly. AJ climbed into his arms and Tony turned the rocking chair to face the window, so they could see the night sky. As soon as AJ had snuggled himself comfortably in his arms, Tony held him tight and kissed his head, as they gently rocked back and forth.

"Love me, daddy?" AJ asked tremulously.

Tony looked down at AJ, surprised he'd ask such a thing. "More than anything in this world, AJ," he murmured softly. "I love you so, so much."

Eyes closed, AJ mumbled, "how's come?"

"Why do I love you?" He felt AJ nod. "Because you're my little boy, and one of the best things in my life, and I couldn't ever imagine my life without you." He gave the baby a hug, rubbed his cheek on the baby-soft hair.

AJ yawned again and snuggled deeper into Tony's arms. "Love KJ?" he asked tiredly.

Tony's throat closed up with emotion, and he pulled AJ closer. "More than anything else in the world," he answered huskily.

"How's come?"

"Cuz she's my little girl, and the other best thing in my life, and I couldn't ever imagine my life without her. Two of the happiest days of my life were the days you two were born." He could feel AJ getting limper, sleep not far off.

"Love mommy, daddy?" AJ asked, valiantly trying to stay awake just a little while longer.

Tony squeezed his eyes shut, hating that this sweet, little boy felt like he had to even ask that question. "More than anything in the world, AJ. From the day I met her, she made me feel I was better than I am….she taught me how beautiful love is….she gave me the two bestest gifts I've ever had."

"What p'sents?"

"You and KJ…." Tony kissed his son's head. "Sleep now, little man. Daddy's here, forever and always. Love you, baby."

"Love a you too, daddy. Lots n' lots. F'ever n' aw-ways." AJ mumbled as he fell into slumber. And even though he'd fallen asleep, Tony sat in the rocking chair with him for a long time afterward.

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Casey's Apartment

Same Evening

After doing their nails and watching umpteen dance shows, practicing the dance moves they saw, the girls were ready to chillax with ice cream cookie sandwiches that they'd made earlier in the evening. They'd been in the freezer long enough now that they'd be perfect for eating. Casey had been trying all night to get Kaity to talk about Tony, but the little girl shut her down every time. She made a drastic decision, and hoped it didn't end up making things worse. "Hey Kaity, before we watch Barbie, can I show you something?"

Kaity was too busy licking around the outside of her cookie ice cream sandwich to really pay attention to what Casey was saying. "Uh-huh."

"Ok," Casey said, taking out a different CD case. "Now I know you've seen just about every video out there about you…all the birthday videos, playing, getting messy…all the stuff your mom and dad recorded, right?"

"Uh-huh." Still licking the ice cream sandwich.

Casey took a deep breath. She hoped she was doing the right thing, but she couldn't stand to see her favorite people hurting so much. "Well, this is kind of more of that…but it's stuff I recorded….and it's not just about you…but about your mom and dad, too." Kaity didn't stop licking the ice cream, but she slowed down. "I know you're not feeling so great about your dad right now…but…well, I hope when you watch this video…that maybe you'll change your mind. Just give it a chance, ok?" When Kaity slowly nodded, Casey put the CD in and started it. As it began, Abby looked to be at least eight months pregnant, if not more, at a baby shower. "This was a baby shower for you." Abby cried with every gift, it was so beautiful , so cute…. Casey fast forwarded a little. "But this is the part I really want you to see." The men were standing way off to one side of the room doing their own thing, but as the camera focused on Tony, you could see he was tuned in on Abby. As the sea of women parted, Tony saw that Abby was nearing her breaking point, so he walked over and sat next to her, pulling her into his arms. Giving her a tender kiss on the head, Tony began to caress Abby's protruding belly, talking quietly to her. But the big thing was the expression on his face. His eyes were only for Abby, so full of love…no one could believe that Abby didn't see it, when it was so, so obvious. Holding Abby's hand, Tony leant down and kissed her belly, talking softly to the baby inside, rubbing his cheek against the belly like he rubs his cheek against his children's heads now. "Even before you were born…you can see how much your dad loves you…you can't hear what he's saying, but it's there. Look at his eyes…the way he looks at your mom….the way he's touching you inside her belly…like he wants nothing more than to hold you, protect…" Casey's voice cracked, thinking of her own bad father who wasn't there to protect her when she needed him. "Protect you from everything bad. He loved you so much, even before you were born."

Kaity was watching the video silently. She'd known her daddy loved her, but she'd never seen it from this point of view before, from someone else's eyes.

Casey zoomed forward to another spot - Kaity's first steps. On the screen was Tony, kneeling on the floor, arms open wide, calling encouragement to a tipsy toddling Kaity, big smile on his face. On the other side of the screen, you could just barely see Abby with the video camera, filming it all. Pointing that out, Casey told the little girl that that's probably the version she's seen before. "Watch your dad, Kaity….look at his eyes….see how proud he is of you? And he's a little sad, too, cuz his baby's growing up so fast…." They watched as Kaity made it the few steps to Tony, falling into his arms, Abby cheering. Tony just held his baby girl, smiling, telling her what a good girl she was, kissing her all over, making the baby giggle. But again, in his eyes….the adoration was there for all to see. In his eyes, in his kisses, in his touch. Casey moved to the next scene - video of a slightly older Kaity sitting in daddy's lap, in the special rocking chair grandpa had made just for her. Kaity was sleeping, but Tony still held her comfortably, gently rocking, his cheek on her baby-fine hair, singing his special, just-for-her Italian lullaby. So obvious that Tony would do anything and everything for his little girl. The love was written on his face. This one had audio, though, soft though it may be. "…never let anything hurt you…you're my little angel, baby girl….mommy and daddy love you so much….and I'll always love you more than anything in the world. Even when you're all grown up…you'll still be my baby girl. Even when you get married….when you're like, sixty….you'll still be my girl, no matter what." He began singing the lullaby again.

Casey showed Kaity a few more scenes like that, the last being her kindergarten graduation. An arm around Abby's waist, holding her close, Tony and Abby watched Kaity playing with her friends in the school auditorium, tears in their eyes. Kaity came running toward them, and jumped into Tony's arms, laughing as he swung her around in circles. They were too far away to hear, but you could plainly see him saying, "I love you, principessa," with a big hug. His eyes went misty when Kaity responded in kind and kissed his cheek.

Looking over, Casey saw that Kaity was crying. "Ohhhh, honey. I didn't show you those to make you cry…I just wanted you to see - from my point of view - just how much everyone loves you and AJ. I never had anyone who felt that way about me, not really. Not until I met your mom and dad, and all your family. They opened up their hearts to me, no questions asked. Like your dad said, 'no matter what.'" She hugged Kaity to her side. "Never doubt that your daddy loves you, Kaity-Did. It's there all over his face, if you just look for it."

"But he must hate me now! Mommy moved me, an' her, an AJ to grandpa's house, an' it's all my fault! Everyone's mad at daddy, all cuz of me! He'll never love me again!"

Casey held the little girl tight. "It is most certainly not your fault - what happens between grown ups is never children's fault. And people may not be very happy with daddy right now, but it is not because of you. They didn't like the way he was behaving. And honey - your daddy could never not love you. I promise." The two girls sat there together on the couch, cuddling, until they both fell asleep.

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A/N- OK, lots of angst in this chapter. Guess what - there's more coming in the next chapter, too, but of a different kind. Someone from their past is going to make an appearance….will Tony and Abby survive it together?

Give me lots n' lots of REVIEWS and I'll let you know! PLEASE! There's a Happy Ending, I promise! So PLEASE REVIEW!