I've been told by several people now that there was no E-Mail notification for this new story. This is because E-Mail alerts are now deactivated on this website by default. If you want to receive them again, you'll have to opt-in in your personal settings and do that again every six months from now on.

I want to thank everyone who has found this story despite not getting a notification. I am so grateful for every person who is reading it!

If you find the time, please check if other writers you are following have posted a new story or chapter as well. I know some writers on this site have noticed a drop in reader stats ever since that "feature" has been added. It would be a shame if this would make anyone miss an update they are interested in.

Now, as promised, a little background on the movie that inspired me to write this story.

The movie "As It Is In Heaven" is a Swedish film from 2004. The main protagonist (and my inspiration for Sheldon in this story) is Daniel Dareus. He is a famous musician and conductor, a musical genius but socially inept and very naïve. There are parts of his personality that scream "Sheldon" and other parts that are the exact opposite. At the beginning of the movie, Daniel suffers a heart attack and moves back to his hometown, where he becomes the cantor of the church and conducts the local church choir. It is a very emotional story that dives into the background of some of the small-town residents who are choir members and their dynamics and history with each other with Daniel being the catalyst for some significant changes in the community. Of course Daniel falls in love too, but apart from very few things, the love story in the movie is completely different from the one in this story. If you like bittersweet movies with wonderfully complex characters and a side of drama, then I can only recommend it.

This story also introduces a few small-town residents, but the main focus will stay on Sheldon, Amy and Missy. Also, it really is only very loosely inspired by the movie. For example, Daniel does not have a family back in his hometown and the people there don't recognize him because he goes by a different name. The whole part about grieving for a grandmother is not in the movie but was an idea I had for a story. Basically, I took a few ideas that I had in my head for a long time and used a few plot lines of the movie to connect them. So, reading this story will not spoil the movie for you and vice versa.

The Sheldon in this story is a bit of a combination. I'd say he's 90% Sheldon and 10% Daniel. Some things about his background differ from the things we learned in Young Sheldon.

Also, since this story is written strictly from Sheldon's POV, something I've wanted to do for a while but always shied away from, I used this combination with Daniel to cheat a little bit. Sheldon might be a tiny bit better at reading people in this story, but (I think) not as much as to make him completely OOC. Of course, you are always welcome to tell me if you disagree.

Oh, and obviously all of this takes place in a universe where Sheldon and Amy haven't met in the coffee shop.

Chapter 2

"You'll never walk alone" - II

Summer had blended into autumn and instead of the pressing heat, the weather was pleasant and warm with a mild breeze in the air.

On the surface, it was a beautiful day, the day when Sheldon had to attend the funeral of his beloved meemaw in Medford, Texas.

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and little kids were outside, enjoying the day on their bicycles or throwing balls in the yard. It was a perfect day.

And Sheldon could not have been more furious about that.

Didn't the universe realize what day it was? Wasn't it aware of its great loss?

How could it be sunny, when the most wonderful person had just left this world? It certainly had become a much, much darker place with her demise.

It should have been raining. Pouring. There should have been thunder and lightning.

Maybe a hurricane, causing death and devastation all over the land.

Or better yet, an event like the eruption of Mount Vesuvius burying the ancient roman city Pompeii under volcanic ash.

Yes, that would have been an appropriate way to acknowledge the tragedy that had happened in his life.

Instead, as if to mock him, the weather was exceptionally pleasant and the people who gathered in front of the small church looked almost like a cheerful group ready for a church picnic.

That is, if everyone hadn't been dressed in black.

His mother had introduced him to some of her friends earlier, and they all had the decency to express their condolences.

Hypocrites, he thought to himself, as he watched them exchange the gossip of the day, albeit with hushed voices and serious faces, supposedly to keep up the pretense of grieving.

He envied them.

Because while some of them surely were fond of his meemaw and would shed an honest tear or two during the service, none of them would really be affected by her death.

They would go home to their loved ones afterwards. Carry on with their lives.

He had no idea how he would ever be able to carry on.

Without her letters to help him through his days. Without this source of joy and laughter and light in the darkness that had been surrounding him for so long.

He had never felt this lonely in his life.

His mind flashed back to two days before, after he had been released from the hospital.

During the first shock of his grief, he had finally agreed to take a sabbatical and let his mother take him back to his childhood home so she could watch over him as he took the steps to hopefully making a full recovery.

His bosses had been understanding, telling him to take as much time as he needed and to just come back when he was ready.

So, his mother had accompanied him to his apartment, but once they had arrived, she had gasped and looked around, clearly shocked by what she had seen.

"Sheldon. Where is all your furniture? Like that couch you loved so much."

He chortled sarcastically as she eyed the shabby folding chairs, he had gotten back from his storage unit a while ago.

"Well, mother, there are no more people here that I need furniture for. So, I changed my apartment back to the way it was before I started wasting my time on useless social gatherings."

He did not tell her how uncomfortable these chairs were and how he longed for his spot on the couch that he had gotten used to over these past years.

Of course, he could have gotten everything back to how it was before. Most of it was sitting in Leonard's old room or in his basement compartment.

But what was the point?

It would only make him sad, reminding him of the life he had left behind and the people he had lost.

He had retreated to his bedroom then, to take a nap.

Somehow, he needed lots of naps ever since his heart attack. It was like he was drained of all his energy. Which was infuriating all by itself. His body was betraying him. Keeping him from using his mind the way it was intended to be used.

He must have been fast asleep, because there were two neatly packed suitcases leaning against the wall when he woke up again.

It seemed his mother had seized the time to go through his closets and pack whatever she deemed necessary for his time in Texas.

Sighing, he realized, he didn't even have the energy to do an inspection.

Did she use an acceptable system for packing his things? Did she pack all his favorite shirts? Enough pajamas for his rotation?

It did not matter. Hardly anything mattered anymore.

Alarmed, he noticed there was laughter coming from the living room. Voices he recognized all too well.

Oh, no. Not this. Not today. Or ever.

Why did his mother always have to interfere with his life choices?

Ready to tell them all off and send them home, he stumbled out of his room.

But he stopped in his tracks.

Too painful was the sight in front of him.

Leonard and Penny seated at the kitchen counter. Just like they used to be. As if they hadn't betrayed him like they had.

A little boy, Sheldon knew he must have been about eighteen months old, sitting in Leonard's lap reaching for little pieces of fruit that had been prepared for him on the plastic plate in front of him.

Penny was sitting next to them. With a visibly rounded belly. So, she was already pregnant with number two, he figured.

Why could no one keep it in their pants? Wasn't this world overcrowded enough as it was?

If they continued at this rate, he guessed it really was a good thing, them moving into a house near Howard and Bernadette almost two years before.

For a second, he considered just going back to his room. But his stomach was grumbling and he was craving his mother's cooking.

And it was too late anyway, because his presence had been noticed already.

"Sheldon!", Penny called out happily. "It is so good to finally see you again. We were so worried about you, when we heard what happened."

He sat down at the counter silently.

How dare she act so happy to see him, when it was her who was the cause for his best friend leaving him. Her and her stupid uterus.

"I am so glad, you are okay.", Leonard said as he wiped his infant's little hand and took the plate away. "And finally, I can introduce you properly to our son. Lucas Hofstadter, meet your Uncle Sheldon."

The little boy was unimpressed and tried to grab the plate back, apparently having decided that he hadn't mashed up his banana enough yet.

Sheldon was about to dismiss the three of them, when he remembered something, he had been meaning to ask ever since he had woken up at the hospital.

"Was it you who found me? In my office? After… it… happened?"

He wanted the answer to be yes, even though he would never willingly admit it. Because that would mean that one of his former friends would have indeed come looking for him that day.

But then, for a split second, he could have sworn that Leonard looked guilty. Of course, who was he to tell.

"No.", Leonard answered, his voice not much more than a soft mumble. "No, Sheldon, I wasn't at work that day. Penny had an ultrasound scheduled, and I went with her. It was… uhm… Barry Kripke. He stopped by your office for a consult and saw you lying on the floor. He called an ambulance then and that's when I was notified as your emergency contact. I came to the hospital every day until you woke up and told the doctors you only wanted family members to visit you."

Now he was sure, he could see pain in Leonard's eyes.

But that was not his problem.

So, it was his rival who had found him. Not one of guys that used to spend almost every day with him, trying to get him back to their table.

Kripke must have enjoyed this, he thought to himself. Seeing him so weak on the floor.

"I'm surprised he didn't just leave me there.", he whispered. "I would have expected him to take a selfie of the moment when he finally became the most valuable theoretical physicist at CalTech."

"Sheldon, stop being so negative.", his mother scolded him as she put a plate in front of him. "According to the doctors, that young man did everything in his power to keep you alive. He kept resuscitating you until the ambulance arrived. And he succeeded. He saved your life, Shelly. You should call him or send him a gift basket."

"I will do no such thing.", he replied tonelessly as he scrunched up his nose while looking at the food in front of him. "Hey, mom, what is this? I thought you would at least make me fried chicken, after I had to endure all this hospital food."

"Well, I will send him something in your name then.", she replied shortly while serving the food to the others now.

"Mother? The food?", he replied impatiently.

"Well, honey, the doctors told you to keep a healthy diet. Here we have grilled salmon with a side of steamed broccoli and some rice. I have added various herbs that are supposed to be good for your heart. I also ordered a new cookbook. 'The Healthy Heart'. I intend to nurse you back to health, so you'll be as good as new in no time."

"Mother…", he whined. "You know the doctor said I should not have emotional stress. Maybe you should just make me all my favorites. To keep my stress level down."

"At least try a bite, smarty-pants.", his mother insisted.

So, he caved and took a bite. Surprisingly, he did not hate it, but he wasn't sure if he could get used to it.

"I'll miss pizza night.", he grumbled, trying to reach for the saltshaker, only for his mother to take it away and scold him again.

At last, the dishes were cleaned up. Since there was no couch to sit on, everyone stayed seated at the counter as his mother prepared tea for all of them.

"So, Sheldon…", Leonard started but Sheldon interrupted him.

"Why are you two here?", he asked. "You haven't been here in almost two years. Why would you just show up uninvited after such a long time?"

"Shelly…", his mother scolded him gently. "Don't be so rude. I invited them. Because I think it is time to bury the hatchet already. And I always liked your friends. I wanted to see them, as long as I'm here."

"Also, we only stayed away for so long, because you told us not to come, Sheldon.", Penny argued. "I called and called. I invited you to our place. I knocked at your door every day for a month, but you made it clear you did not wish to see us."

"We wanted you to be Lucas's godfather.", Leonard added. "He still doesn't have one, because we kept hoping you would stop shutting us out. That you would come to your senses at some point."

"Come to my senses?", he exclaimed.

Who did this short, pretentious wannabe-scientist think he was?

He could feel his hearbeat accelerate and his head started feeling light.

"It was you who abandoned me.", he spat. "You who kept trying to change my schedules. My living situation. And for what? For that?"

He pointed at the little boy who had by now fallen asleep in his father's arms.

A tiny voice whispered inside his mind that maybe he should have just agreed to their first suggestion. Maybe he should have just moved over across the hall and let Leonard and Penny have the bigger apartment for their growing family.

At least that way they would still be his neighbors.

But it was too late now. And he still couldn't believe, Leonard would just go and disrupt their peaceful lives like that.

He couldn't hear the answer Penny seemed to be giving him, because suddenly he was coughing heavily. It was a struggle to get enough air into his lungs and the pulse monitor on his wrist was beeping aggressively.

His mother was by his side instantly.

"You need to calm down, Shelly.", she insisted. "Maybe I acted rashly by inviting your friends. I am sorry for upsetting you. Go to your room and lie down for a while. We still have three hours until we have to leave for the airport. I'll come get you once it's time to go."

He refused to let his mother help him walk to the bedroom and got up by himself instead. It was almost too much for him, but he did not want anyone to know. He just hated feeling so weak.

"I can't believe he's still so mad at us.", he heard Penny's teary voice on the way. "You think he'll ever forgive us and be our friend again?"

"Oh, honey, I am sure he will.", his mother answered. "Remember what I told you all these years ago? You have to take your time with Sheldon. He'll come around eventually. Spending some time in Texas with his family will be good for him."

He shut the door then and lay down on his bed.

No, he would never forgive them.

They had left him. Like everyone else always did.

They did not deserve to be his friends any longer.

And he did not need them.

One day he would win a Nobel Prize and then they would regret no longer being associated with him.

He snapped out of his memory when the church bells started ringing.

It was time for the funeral to start.

On the inside, he was screaming. His whole body was rebelling against going inside the church.

He had already fulfilled his duty this year. Why was he dragged here today?

There were other places. Much more suitable places to say good-bye to his meemaw. The bowling alley. One of the bars she liked to frequent when she was younger. Her living room where he used to play video games with her.

But already, his mother had found him and ushered him to the church pew in the front.

He greeted the rest of his family.

His older brother dressed in a black suit just like he was himself. Accompanied by his latest flame, a woman in a black dress that was much too revealing to be suitable for a funeral.

His sister, dressed much more conservatively than he was used to. A floor-long black skirt and a long-sleeved blouse. A black scarf around her neck. He started sweating just by looking at her.

And for some reason, she was wearing much more make-up than she usually did. On her lap her baby girl and on her right side the little boy he had assisted her in giving birth to all these years ago.

Joshua was his name and he studied Sheldon with curious eyes. The same blue eyes as he had.

Missy's husband was sitting on her left side. Not the father of her children but a man she had met a year ago, just weeks before she had given birth to her daughter.

"Blessed be the day she met him.", his mother had shouted into his ear on the phone when she had told him about his sister's impending nuptials. "A man willing to marry her despite her already having two children. I hope she won't blow it this time."

The man looked strangely familiar to him, but despite his eidetic memory, he couldn't tell where he knew him from. He just knew that, for some reason, he had a bad feeling about him.

He was dressed in black slacks and a short-sleeved, buttoned up shirt that was also black but still did not match the rest of his outfit at all. It was tight around his biceps. His bare arms were covered in dark tattoos. He stuck out like that here in the front row reserved for members of the family.

Was this really the man his mother had been singing praises about for a year now?

A pastor appeared and started talking about how death was not the end and how they should now all pray to help his meemaw find her way to heaven.

He would have snorted if it weren't for the ache in his heart. Oh, how he wanted to imagine his meemaw somewhere up there, watching over him from afar.

That fairytale might have worked all those years ago when his pop-pop had died. But he wasn't a child anymore.

And then a few people got up from their seats and walked up to where the pastor had just stood. One of them was Missy.

Sheldon was confused for a second, but then they started singing, guided by an older woman who also looked strangely familiar.

After racking his brain, he remembered her as his former music teacher in High School. Miss Fenley. She had been the one to tell him he had perfect pitch.

Even though he hadn't talked to her often, he remembered her fondly. Of course, he always liked it when people noticed how exceptional he was.

The choir sang a few songs that were typical for a funeral. He did not care much about them. Too much mention of God and angels and eternal life in heaven.

His heart started pounding faster however – and not in the unpleasant way it had done a few times since his heart attack – when a woman he had never seen before started to walk forward, probably to sing a solo.

He had no idea why he felt like he did. There was nothing special about that woman.

She had long brown hair that fell wavy on her shoulders. Her green eyes peaking out from behind thick glasses. Like everyone else, she was dressed in black. A tight black skirt that reached her calves and a long-sleeved black blouse similar to the one Missy was wearing but more form-fitting.

But there was something about that woman's expression.

She looked so sad. Almost as sad as he felt.

Her eyes seemed to wander over the congregation. And then they stopped as her gaze fell on him.

It looked as if she recognized him, which made absolutely no sense, because something told him, he would have remembered ever meeting her. A faint hint of a smile appeared on her face for just a short moment before the organ player started playing the next song.

He recognized it at once, and again, his heart hammered in his chest. What a coincidence.

The rest of the choir was humming the chords as the unknown woman began to sing in a deep, strong voice.

When you walk
through a storm
hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark.

She held his gaze all through the song. And he did not look away either. Not for one second.

Which was strange, because he usually did not like to make eye contact for such a long time.

And certainly not with a stranger.

But she did not seem like a stranger. There was something about her. Something that was familliar to him.

He couldn't put a finger on it, but somehow, she gave him comfort.

It was as if she was singing directly to him.

But how was that possible when she saw him for the very first time today. She couldn't possibly know that this was the song he kept hearing whenever he thought about his meemaw ever since she had died.

It soothed him and for the first time in days he felt at least a little bit at peace with what had happened.

Of course, he knew it was one of meemaw's favorites. He had always associated it with her. It was no surprise he kept hearing it, now that she was dead.

But there was something about hearing it like this. Sang by this woman. With so much emotion in her voice. Tears gathering in her eyes.

She must have known his meemaw, the way she seemed to be grieving for her.

'Who are you?', he wanted to ask. 'What did my meemaw mean to you?'

But it did not matter. All that mattered was that – in this moment – they were connected by the loss of someone so wonderful.

It was as if everything else faded to black and time stood still. For these few minutes, it felt like they were the only two people inside this church. Communicating silently with their eyes.

'I understand you.', they seemed to say. 'I know how you're feeling. And I will help you with your pain.'

Once the song was over, it was like being snapped out of a trance.

What was happening? Was he simply losing his mind over his meemaw's death?

Later, he watched stoically, when the coffin was brought outside by the pallbearers to be buried next to his pop-pop.

"At least they are together again.", his mother whispered, and he chose to not contradict her for once.

Let her have the comfort of her faith, however far-fetched it may be.

He stayed behind then, when the rest of his family returned home to have a quiet meal together and talk about meemaw.

Others may seek company when they grieved. But not him. He only wanted solitude. To be left alone with the pain and the sadness.

He sat down in the grass, next to the freshly dug up soil and stared at the gravestone.

Here lies
Constance Tucker
Beloved mother, grandmother and friend
May she rest in peace

He fought back a sob.

The pain came in waves. Huge ones and not very far apart.

Why did she have to die? And why right when he was in the hospital and didn't even have a chance to say good-bye to her.

There were so many things he would have wanted to tell her.

Did she even know how important she had been to him? Or did she die, thinking he would be just fine without her?

Why hadn't he called her more often? Why hadn't he told her how much he loved and respected her?

"Oh meemaw…", he whispered and wiped away the tears that were running down his face. "How will I keep going now? Without my friends. Without my work. With these health issues. And without you to cast a light with your beautiful letters? I will miss you. So, so much. I know you were old. But why did you have to leave me right now? Being back here in Texas without you feels like a nightmare."

Slinging his arms around his knees to keep them from trembling, he lowered his head to his chest as another sob rocked his body.

Just then he thought he heard steps and as he turned around, he recognized the strange woman from the choir.

"I… I am sorry. I didn't think anyone was still here. I… uhm… I will just leave now.", she said in the same deep, melodic voice as before.

"No.", he protested before he could stop himself. "No, you can stay. I probably should be going soon anyway. Before my mother starts worrying and sends a search squad to get me."

She took this as an invitation to sit down next to him in the grass.

"She was one of the good ones.", she said as they stared at the gravestone together.

"The best.", he agreed.

They sat together in silence and somehow, he felt a lot calmer than before.

"Why did you sing that song?", he suddenly asked. "Did someone from the choir know it was one of her favorites?"

"Actually…", the woman cleared her throat. "We all knew. Connie sang in the choir with us. She was the one who got me to join. She always wanted us to sing more than just church songs. Sometimes, we would humor her. It was her dying wish for me to sing this song at her funeral."

He smiled fondly. It wasn't hard to imagine his meemaw getting a whole church choir to sing her favorite songs.

"Sounds like her.", he croaked, more tears escaping his eyes.

"She was talking about you all the time.", the woman continued. "She was so proud of you. Her genius boy making it on his own in California. The hot-shot physicist at CalTech. It was all she talked about during her last days. And before that, I mean, before she got sick, she… uhm… she made me read your work to her and try and explain what exactly it was you were doing."

"She did?", he had to smile again through his tears, not even wondering why this woman seemed to know who he was.

"Yes. Your paper on nonlocal and quasilocal field theories is the most fascinating thing I have read in a very long time."

He looked up surprised. This strange woman understood his work? How was that possible?

"I am sorry but… who are you again?", he finally managed to ask.

She bit her lips nervously.

"I… uhm… I rented a room at your meemaw's house for the past two years. I am…"

"Amy.", he gasped, his blood starting to boil.

It was hard to combine the image he had associated with this name to the woman sitting next to him.

"Yes.", she nodded.

"The science teacher.", he continued. "The person who was with my meemaw during her last days."

"Yes.", she said again. "I am so sorry for your loss, Sheldon. She really was an amazing woman."

Something inside him snapped.

How dare this woman talk about his meemaw as if she knew her? How dare she get to hear her dying wish? How dare she talk to her about his precious work?

How dare she speak to him using his first name? As if they were friends?

Well, he guessed that was on him. He had called her 'Amy' first after all.

But this - whatever it was - had to stop. Now.

He got up as quickly as he could, which made him dizzy for a second, but he tried to ignore that.

"I need to leave.", he muttered as he started walking.

"Sheldon, wait!", she got up too and followed him. "What's going on? It seemed we were having a friendly conversation. I don't understand why you are so short with me now."

He snorted and turned to her angrily.

"You want to know what's going on? My grandmother died alone without me or any other family member around."

"She wasn't alone.", Amy protested. "She had me. I was there with her right until the end."

"You are not her family!", he yelled. "I should have been there. Or my mother. Or my siblings. Not some stranger who invaded her home and disrupted her peaceful days. You… you do not belong in her home. She didn't even tell me about you. You… you were nothing to her."

"I… I am sorry you feel that way.", Amy said tonelessly, her face that had been pale before now almost as white as a sheet. "But for what it's worth, I did not invade her home. I kept her company. I did everything I could to make her last days as comfortable as possible. I listened to her. I played her favorite music. I held her hand until the very end. I was there for her, Sheldon. You should be happy she was with a friend. A friend who loved her."

There were so many conflicting emotions inside his mind, fighting for dominance.

Maybe she was right. Maybe he should be happy. In a way it was all his fault. If he hadn't suffered a heart attack, he could have been there instead of her.

But he wanted to be angry right now. At her.

"Do not tell me how I should feel.", he hissed. "And don't you dare talk about my work again. What do you even understand about it? You are a ridiculous High School science teacher. Go and collect some frogs to dissect and leave real science to people like me."

He saw her jaw drop but he didn't give her time to answer before he went home as fast as he could.