Warning: Hints at domestic violence.

I apologize in advance. This chapter is one of the darker ones and also, there is hardly any Shamy in this one. But it is an important chapter for the story to move along.

I promise to try and make it up with the next three chapters, where things between Sheldon and Amy will be taking a few turns.

So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
Promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep

It seems no one can help me now
I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

As It Is In Heaven

Chapter 6 – "Runaway Train"

Green eyes. The darkest, warmest shade of green you could find.

Looking at him. Or more right through him. As if he was the only person in the world.

Those eyes belonged to a woman. She was standing in front of him.

Shorter than he was but her presence made her taller somehow.

It gave him such a warm feeling. The way she admired him. The way she cared for him.

The way she talked to him, in this deep, gentle voice. Words of encouragement. Of trust. Of understanding.

And then her lips. So full and red. The most beautiful smile directed at him.

He reached out for her. Rested his hands on her hips. Pulled her body closer to his.

"Forget about those other guys.", he wanted to whisper. "You don't need them. Just go out with me."

But he couldn't get the words out.

She opened her mouth to speak. Those supple lips started moving again.

Was she going to tell him she heard him anyway? Was she going to say yes?

Oh, how he wanted to forget about the rest of the world and just focus on the two of them.

But the sounds that came from her did not match the sight in front of him.

It was a squeaky, little voice.

"Wake up, Uncle Shelly. Wake up!"

And then the image began to fade, and he found himself back in his room where two voices were shouting at each other.

"Joshua! Get out here, now. Uncle Shelly needs his sleep."

"But mommy, I wanna play with trains now. You said I can play with trains once we are at granny's."

Sheldon blinked his eyes open. For a second, he felt confused. And not just about that weird dream he just had.

"Now, look what you've done, Joshi. Now you woke him up.", his sister hissed at the little boy that stood before Sheldon's bed, looking at him with big blue eyes.

"Yeah, finally! Can I play with trains now, Uncle Shelly?"

Sheldon groaned.

"Missy, I told you numerous times, not to let him call me that."

"Oh, grow up, Sheldon. No kid's gonna call you Uncle Doctor Cooper."

"Please, Uncle Shelly. I wanna play with trains. You're awake, so I can play now, right?"

The little boy climbed up the bed and started jumping up and down at the feet's end."

"Please, please, please.", he shouted with every jump.

"Joshua.", his sister yelled. "Stop it. Right now! Or you'll be sitting in my old room, alone till lunchtime."

The little kids's face fell. A frown began to show as his eyes filled with tears.

Sheldon, now wide awake, looked at his sister in shock.

While their parents could be strict at times, he couldn't remember ever being screamed at like that when he was a child.

She had sounded livid, even he had been scared for a second.

And so, suddenly, he felt a surge of protectiveness over the little boy who was still standing on his bed, looking small and sad, the excitement he had exuded before completely gone.

"You like trains?", Sheldon asked him softly.

The boy just looked at him and nodded without saying a word.

"I like them too.", he said, smiling at Joshua. "Why don't ask your granny for a snack so I can get dressed and then I'll show you a much cooler trainset than the wooden one I have here in my room. Maybe we can go to the attic together and get it."

Squealing, little Joshua ran to the kitchen to do what Sheldon had told him.

"I'm sorry, Sheldon. I told him to let you sleep. I know you need your rest.", Missy sighed, as she sat down on his bed. "It's just… Joshua is going through an awful phase. I keep telling him to be a good boy and do as I say, but he just never listens to me."

Not for the first time since he arrived in Texas, Sheldon had a weird feeling about his sister. She seemed off. Not as bubbly and energetic as usual. Stressed out, which he guessed came from having two little kids.

She was wearing a long-sleeved sweater and a skirt that reached her ankles. It looked much baggier than anything he had ever seen her wear.

And her face, again, was plastered with make-up, but it only made her look extremely pale.

It's good you're here. As Missy's brother.

"It's alright.", he finally replied. "For a long time now, I've wanted to rebuild the model trainset I had when I was a boy. And now, finally I have a reason to do it. It'll be fun."

He meant it. And for some reason, he felt, Missy could use a break from dealing with her five-year-old boy for a few hours.

It almost took two hours alone, dusting off his old model train and rebuilding it the way it used to be.

Joshua's eyes sparkled with glee with every part that Sheldon unpacked, and he listened to all his explanations about the different trains and then he pointed at each train and repeated what he had learned from his uncle.

A wave of affection for the child coursed through Sheldon. Who would have thought that one of his sister's children would turn out to be that smart and interested in the same things as he was.

He explained to the boy how the remote control worked and when Joshua asked to have Sheldon's pocket watch so he could check if the trains were arriving on schedule, Sheldon decided, he had just found his new favorite family member.

"Wait, I almost forgot. We are yet to add the absolute best train.", he said after some consideration.

But if there was ever a moment to share this one with anyone, it was right now.

Joshua didn't even look up, as Sheldon opened his closet and retrieved the box his meemaw had gifted him.

He smiled as he took the little train out of the box. He remembered it like yesterday, how he found this train in meemaw's house, one time when he had come home from California.

He had been in a bad mood, because someone had deleted one of his computer games from his computer while he was gone. And then, meemaw had invited him over for tea and cookies and there, he had noticed this train, on the coffee table in her living room.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I stole it. But I like looking at it. It's just something that reminds me of you, when you're so far away from me, my moonpie.", his meemaw had told him, as she had winked at him.

He had rolled his eyes at meemaw and called her sentimental. But he had let her keep the train, because even if he would never have admitted to it, he liked the thought, that someone at home was thinking of him.

"This one is a replica of the Union Pacific Engine No. 410", he explained to his nephew, as he put the train on the tracks. "It's the most special locomotive I've ever had. The original is actually in a train museum in Galveston."

"There is a museum for trains?", the boy screeched. "Oh, can we go there, Uncle Shelly?"

Sheldon smiled at the little boy.

"I haven't been there in a long time. So, sure, why not? If your mother is okay with it."

Joshua's face fell.

"She'll never say yes. Robbie says, playing with trains is for losers and I cannot be a loser."

Sheldon's mouth fell open. Who would say something like that to a little boy?

"He said that? Well, I think he's wrong."

"I think so too.", Joshua whispered and looked around as if he was afraid someone could hear him. "But we can't tell him that."

Sheldon did not know what to answer, but the boy kept talking anyway as he was assembling the little toy people at the train station.

"Robbie says, I have to become a real man. Like him. He wants to take me hunting. But I don't want to. I don't want to kill a deer. Have you ever killed a deer, Uncle Shelly?"

"No.", Sheldon answered, baffled by what he had heard. "No, I have never killed a deer."

The little boy nodded.

"I don't want to be a man like Robbie.", he said then, still in the same conspiratorial voice as before. "I want to be smart, and I want to play with trains. I don't want to learn how to fight or kill animals."

Sheldon smiled at the little boy.

"Well, that's what I always wanted too. If it helps, I think you are very smart. And you can be any man you want to be."

"I know.", he whispered again. "But I can't talk back to Robbie. It would just get me in trouble."

Sheldon gulped. He had hated the thought of his sister being married to his former bully. But he hadn't even started to think about what this could mean for the kids.

"Does that happen often?", he asked as casually as he could. "You getting in trouble with Robbie?"

"No.", Joshua shrugged. "I'm smart. I know how to avoid him. But mommy doesn't. She always gets in trouble."

Words couldn't express the shock Sheldon felt as he saw his worst fear confirmed.

"Mommy is getting in trouble with Robbie? What… what does that mean?"

The boy did not give an answer and after a few seconds he looked away from Sheldon and resumed playing with the model trains.

It was clear, Sheldon wouldn't get an answer from his nephew. And even he knew not to push a child to answer a question like that.

"Joshua, will you be okay playing in here by yourself for a while?", he asked, and the boy just nodded and resumed making the toy people board the various trains and shouting out arrival times.

Sheldon sighed and got up, determined to get to the bottom of this.

He found Missy in the kitchen with her little daughter and he sat down next to the two of them.

"Mom's at the grocery store.", Missy said, while feeding the little girl with yoghurt. "She left fifteen minutes ago. She said to call her if you needed anything from the store."

"What does your son mean when he says you tend to get in trouble with your husband?", he decided to ask her directly.

Missy stared at him for a second, then resumed feeding her daughter.

"Joshi's a little kid. Who knows what he's talking about."

"Missy, please.", he tried again. "Is Robbie… is he mistreating you? Do you need help?"

She did not look at him this time when she answered.

"Of course not."

But it did not sound convincing.

"Missy.", he said a little louder and gently placed a hand on her shoulder. He was shocked when he saw her flinch and remove his hand.

In the split second when that happened, the sweater she was wearing was moved to the side a little and he could spot something strange on her shoulder.

"Missy!", he exclaimed and moved the sweater to the side again. "That's a big bruise. What happened? Did Robbie… did he?"

"Leave me alone, Sheldon.", Missy hissed and straightened out her clothes as she shoved him away again. "I was chasing Joshua in the park. I tripped and fell. He tends to do that, running away from me in the park. Just as he tends to not listen or invent stories to tell his uncle. Robbie's a good man. The kids and I, we are lucky to have him."

"Well, Joshua seems to be scared of him.", he pointed out. "And Robbie seems to have a lot of expectations about what kind of person your son should be."

"Joshua needs to learn how to behave.", she snapped. "I was too lenient with him during my divorce and after that. His father isn't around anymore so Robbie has taken it upon himself to be a father figure, because that's the kind of man he is. Robbie does a lot for me and the kids. It's the least we can do, trying to be the family he wants us to be."

Sheldon's jaw dropped. What was that supposed to mean?

"What happened to you?", he whispered. "The Missy I knew was confident and independent. She would never have changed herself for a man. She would never have let her kids stay with someone they are afraid of."

"Joshua has no reason to be afraid of Robbie.", Missy rebutted. "He should be glad that his stepfather is taking an interest in him. A boy needs a father. And how dare you judge me? You think I was confident and independent before I met Robbie? Sheldon, I was a pregnant, single mother and I struggled with everything. I wasn't independent. I only managed to get by because I had mom. And meemaw. And Amy."

"I'm sorry…", he stuttered. "I did not know, Missy. Why did you not tell me?"

She just shook her head and sighed.

"Sheldon, thank you for your concern. But you shouldn't be worrying about me. Focus on yourself. I am happy. And Joshua will be too once he gets used to our new life."

Sheldon could only stare at her. He didn't even know where to begin.

"Robbie's a good man, Sheldon.", Missy insisted. "He has his expectations but he is also doing so much for us. I know you had bad experiences with him when you were younger. But he is not that kind of man anymore. Please, can you just accept him and stop trying to frame him as the bad guy here? Please?"

Before he could answer, he heard a loud scream coming from his room.

Missy and Sheldon shared a look and quickly ran to the room to see what was going on.

What they saw was not a pretty sight.

The first thing Sheldon spotted was his favorite train that was lying on the floor. It looked broken, and he felt his heart breaking too at the sight.

One of the few connections he still had to meemaw. Destroyed.

He was just about to start berating Joshua, but he was speechless, when he saw the state, the little boy was in.

He was sobbing uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Shelly.", he cried. "The remote didn't work, so I pushed the train with my fingers. I know I am not supposed to do that. And then nothing worked anymore. I think I pushed it too hard, and it fell on the floor. I did not mean to. I am so, so sorry. Am I in trouble now?"

Sheldon stepped closer to Joshua and raised his eyebrows in confusion when Joshua backed away from him and sobbed even harder.

"I am so sorry. I know I was a bad boy. Please don't get mad."

He sounded scared.

Sheldon looked at Missy who avoided his gaze and then he crouched down, so he was at eye-level with the boy.

The anger he had felt at first had dissipated and what was left was concern for his nephew.

"I won't get mad, I promise.", he assured the little boy. "This was my favorite train. It meant a lot to me, and I am upset because it is broken. But maybe we can still fix it. There is this little store, about an hour away that specializes in trains like these. Maybe your granny can drive us there and we can see what they can do."

The boy stared at him, still sobbing.

"You… you mean, I can go with you?"

"Of course.", Sheldon said calmly. "We can look at the trains there while they try to fix this one."

The boy sniffled and bit his lower lip.

"I have some money in my piggy bank. If they can't fix your train, I will buy you a new one. I'll be good, I promise."

Sheldon shook his head.

"That is very kind of you, Joshua. But I won't take your money. And I know you are a good boy. In fact…", he sighed. "I should not have left you alone. These trains are not made for kids to be playing without supervision. I haven't gotten them until I was years older than you are now. So, I guess, we are both to blame. I'm sorry, Joshua, for putting you into this situation."

He was startled for a second, when the little boy jumped into his arms and he tried very hard not to think about all the germs, he surely was carrying around with him.

Outside in the kitchen, Ellis started crying and Missy, who had stood by awkwardly, excused herself to take care of her daughter.

Sheldon hugged Joshua to his chest for a second before he gently placed him back on the ground, then he started cleaning up the mess that had been made.

Joshua sat down next to him and helped put everything back into the various boxes.

Sheldon got his wooden train set from under his bed then and allowed Joshua to play with it in the living room while he went back to his room and stared at the ceiling, trying to comprehend what had happened.

Trying to make sense of it.

Weighing the things, he had witnessed against the things his sister had told him.

He had no idea what the truth behind all of it was. And he had no idea how to find out.

But he knew, he had to. He felt, it was his responsibility as Missy's brother to make sure she and her children were okay.

In the afternoon, Missy left with her kids, so she could be home and cook dinner in time before Robbie would be home.

After that, Sheldon told his mother what had happened with the train, and she agreed to take him and Joshua to the train store the next day.

He tried very hard to tell his mother what else had happened, but he soon found out that there was no point.

She had excuses for everything.

Joshua was just a little kid with a very lively imagination. Missy was just stressed out with her two kids and therefore clumsy. A stepfather taking a boy hunting, wasn't it just great how the man tried to be a father figure?

For some reason he could not understand, his otherwise so perceptive mother refused to believe that anything about Missy's marriage could be less than perfect.

"We should all be happy for Missy.", she insisted. "You weren't here Sheldon. You haven't seen how hard it was for her. Divorced. Pregnant. Having to take care of Joshua. And you know how people are. All the talk behind her back. Her friends turning away from her. Robbie is a good Christian and a suitable husband. Let go of your grudge against him and do not try to cause trouble."

Oh, he hated this. He did not know what to think anymore.

Was it possible that he was seeing things that weren't there?

Judging by his inability to read people, it seemed unlikely that he would notice something like that when no one else did.

And his mother was right. There were other explanations for everything he had seen.

Maybe he really was biased. Just because Robbie had made his life a living hell did not mean he was doing the same thing to Missy.

Just as he was pondering this, he heard an alert on his phone, that told him he had received a new E-Mail.

A link to a Dropbox folder with an attached message.

As promised, here are all the pictures I have of Connie. There are a few videos too. I thought you could enjoy watching them.

See you later,
Amy

Grateful for the distraction, he clicked on the link and had to admire Amy's organizational skills right away.

There were various folders, all labeled and dated, containing lots and lots of pictures.

He spent almost two hours, looking at them and he had to chuckle ever so often.

Meemaw looked so happy in all of them. Just as his mother had told him. Decades younger.

And when he clicked at the videos, one by one, he could have cried as he saw his meemaw come alive on screen.

Singing in the choir between Amy and Missy. Dancing at what looked like a bar. In one of the videos, she was giving some sort of speech, clearly after one too many whiskeys. It was so funny.

And Amy… The woman who had given him this gift. Oh, he still did not know what to make of the tingling in his stomach as he saw her in many of these pictures and videos.

Lots of them, especially the older ones, also included Missy.

Missy with a round belly and a smaller Joshua by her hand. She looked so different than she did now. Much more like he remembered her.

Not as stressed out and miserable.

But as he got to the newer pictures, that changed.

Instead of a round belly, there was a little baby in her arms.

Her clothes changed. A ring appeared on her finger. Her smile disappeared.

And somewhere along the way, Missy disappeared too.

Literally. Apart from a few pictures of the choir as they were performing in church, there was not a single photo of her that was taken during the last four months.

Had she stopped hanging out with Amy and meemaw? And if so, then why?

His head started hurting.

Oh, he did not like this. Not being able to figure out an answer to a question.

He needed to get this out of his mind. At least for now.

So, he opened a new word file and finally started working on the contract, he had planned to work on anyway.

It was easy. They had already agreed on almost everything. It didn't take him more than an hour to finish it.

He checked his watch.

Well, there was no reason to delay this. It was time to pay his tenant another visit.