Recap: Lelouch has learned the harrowing truth that Charles has a geass.
Content Warning for Very Depressed Lelouch
Chapter 44: Rooftop Repercussions
I am letting you know of something auspicious I encountered after making Emir Hadjy, Moustafa-Bey, Kyaya de Seyd, Abou-Bekir, Pasha, Governor of Egypt. It was a woman of most strange countenance that, were I so inclined, I would call her a temptress sent by the Devil himself. She did offer me a gift that I dare not to put to words which challenges all notions of the rightful order of the world. With this, success is guaranteed if one key condition is met. Find the witch hunters living in Vendée with among the lavender fields.
-Excerpt from Letters of Napoleon, 1798
Imperial Palace, New Pendragon
"A geass may adopt many shapes and forms, but it is a manifestation of a person's deep internal desire-the answer to their greatest wish, you could say," his father explained as Lelouch took a seat for breakfast.
The feast spread before him was nausea inducing, but he served himself three thin pancakes as was expected of him. His mother liked them on occasion; the nobility viewed them as peasant fare. As a child, before Japan, he would often sneak into the kitchen as the sun broke over the horizon to pester the cooks into preparing them. Interestingly, there was no tea-merely, coffee. A quick search found the scones absent as well, jelly filled pastries resting in the center instead.
His father had taken the time to take into account his interests-a first, for sure. Why couldn't it all be a farce? A careful manipulation designed to lower his guard?
"It is not a conscious desire upon which it acts, but a subconscious one. Often, the user may not even make the connection to their own internal well being."
Lelouch snorted. "My subconscious secretly wants to enslave people. That's great."
Was that too snippy? Should he be more demure? His father loved him. That was indisputable now, but he could rewrite memories on a whim, had used it already on Lelouch... and his mother. What did that even mean? Had his father always loved him or only grown to because of his achievements? Roy believed in his family's love. They tried to force him into a marriage to make him into the ideal heir. Pablo's grandfather had loved him, even in the face of his own demise, yet still tried to convince Pablo to join him on a fool's quest and ultimately share his fate.
Ultimately, his mother was not the exception. Family did not love one for who one was but for who they envisioned them to be. His father was the same, but he had the perfect tool to make that vision a reality.
Lelouch needed to escape. Distance was his greatest defense. He wouldn't even know if something had changed-Henry didn't.
"Your geass does not enslave people," his father said. "There are those that do, strip the individual of all autonomy and free will until they are no better than a droid. Yours does not do that. They still continue to exist and act with autonomy. It acts more as a compulsion-an order that must be obeyed." His father grimaced as he took a sip of his coffee and set it down to pour an extra helping of milk and sugar in. "It would be an interesting experiment if the words of the order can be broken but followed in the spirit. For example, were you to order your men to drive to a nearby town and arrest the terrorists there. If the bridge was swept out by a flood, your men would not continue to drive but attempt alternate methods of crossing. Would a geass order do the same?"
Would Lelouch be forced into yet another series of tests, condemning people to an inescapable death?
"Perhaps next year," his father said. "Geass grows stronger with time and use. It is important to catalog potential changes in its use. For now, I would advise caution. The woman whom you cured of pain will be a good test on the longevity of an order."
"Why does it matter? You can just kill them if they become problematic."
His father narrowed his eyes. "Two reasons. The first is known as runaway. Every power comes with a price. If geass grows stronger than your mind, you will fall victim to it and lose control, ultimately driving the user insane."
Lelouch swallowed.
"C.C. did not mention that, did she?" his father said, slightly amused. "You must monitor any change in its behavior. Tests are important for a baseline."
"Yours is active in both eyes," Lelouch noted. His father hadn't hesitated in using it. How big of a threat was runaway?
Smiling, his father nodded, and his eyes briefly flared red. "If your will is strong enough, geass can develop in the second eye. If you wish to control your power, instead of being ruled by it, you must understand yourself and why it took such a form."
So Lelouch merely had to determine why he apparently desired to be a slaver or be driven insane. All the while, he had to keep his memories intact by lining up with his father's vision. Fantastic.
"Do not be overly concerned, Lelouch. Geass takes years to develop. There will be enough forewarning before runaway develops. Unfortunately, the second reason is a greater threat to you and beyond my ability to kill."
"C.C.?" Lelouch asked as another memory rose to the surface. "You mean... the assassin had a geass. V.V. is immortal then?"
His father winced. "Yes. Never mention that name, even if you think we are alone. You are not capable of facing him yet, and I fear that the only protection I can offer is sheltering you from his gaze. As long as you are beneath his notice, he can be kept preoccupied with other matters. If he learns that the power of kings has fallen into the hands of someone beyond his control, he will act, and he already despises you because of your mother. No one can know, Lelouch. No one. Not even your guards."
"They won't betray me," Lelouch countered hotly as a phantom noose tightened around his neck, dragging him further from his friends, condemning him to a life of solitude. "Not unless you twist Henry's mind again so that he reports to you."
"Yet he always finds his way back to your side," his father said wryly. "Geass takes many forms, Lelouch. A rather useful member of my guard can compel the truth from others. Others can read the secrets within your mind. The more people who know, the greater the chance of an unwitting betrayal."
Another threat, another danger.
"And Clovis's guards wiping themselves out won't bring his suspicion on me?" Lelouch asked. "Or will you say that Clovis fell to assassins?"
"I've already announced Clovis's execution at the hands of Zero."
"So you intend for Roy to be my Judas goat?"
His father pressed his fingers together solemnly. "That is a benefit of the arrangement. The E.U. wants Zero dead, the Chinese as well. My agents may foil many attempts on your life, but there is always a chance that one slips through. If they learn who you are, your ability to act effectively while being safe will be heavily curtailed. Your friend is an exemplary young man, but his life is not worth more than yours. He would be honored to sacrifice it for you."
Lelouch glowered at his pancakes. He couldn't accept that. The thrum of power within him stirred like a warm, familiar friend. He could change things. If only he hadn't wasted it on his father and asked for something so foolish and meaningless. So what if his father cared? He would still enforce his will, and now Lelouch was once again powerless to stop him.
"In a fortunate twist of events," his father continued, "C.C.'s previous erratic actions have lent you a cover. V.V. undoubtedly knows that she made a contract that night, but he does not know with whom, and she seems to have been giving them out rather liberally to enact her revenge on Clovis. Not that V.V. informed me new contracts were being made, like he should have."
"How could he know?"
"That is something you are not ready to know Lelouch."
Frustrated, Lelouch clenched his knife. "So I'll be half blind, dealing with an immortal who already tried to kill Mother. Who tried to kidnap Nunnally and kill me. And you want to bet on him being unaware of all these developments despite insisting he's a threat beyond my ability to handle. Why don't you just remove him then? You have no problems handling your other enemies or even simple dissidents."
"Immortals can't be killed."
"Just drop him into a casket and throw him into the ocean. Or entomb him in concrete," Lelouch snapped, vaguely horrified by his suggestions. "How can he be a threat then? Or is the problem that it isn't ethical now?"
His father snorted. "Ethics are the justifications of weak men. If it were that easy to rid oneself of an immortal, they would have long ceased to exist. The crusaders caught one once. After realizing beheadings and burnings had no effect, they built a tomb and threw him inside and filled it with oil before sealing it. Two months later, they met an army incapable of feeling pain. As the crusaders neared, they fell victim to a curse and were driven insane. When a code bearer is pushed too far, they can unleash untold destruction. They are at the source of many of our myths, such as Dracula."
Lelouch crossed his arms. "So Santa Claus is real."
"Perhaps inspired by the one living in isolation in the alps."
"And you allow a threat like him to live in enemy territory?"
"Keeping a code bearer confined is near impossible, and he is far older than C.C. Without C.C.'s presence, he would have killed the agents. Periodically, we check he is still there. He does nothing but meditate. He doesn't eat, sleep, or drink. He has no concern for mortal affairs. Although... Did you have to burn down Clovis's labs? He did one worthwhile thing: discovering how to keep an immortal captive."
"Yes. It was evil."
His father gave him a disappointed look. "Which is why you let her go. Good and evil are all a matter of perception. C.C. knows this better than anyone which is why she will return and seek you out. She did not grant your power out of gratitude or to help you. She offered a contract, requiring you to fulfill her one true wish."
"Yes," Lelouch admitted shakily. He was somewhat surprised he managed to eat so much, but here, deep within the palace, no assassin could conceivably reach them. At least if Lelouch died, his father would go down with him. Odysseus wouldn't hurt his men. "But I stipulated that she can't make me hurt others."
His father raised a slow eyebrow. "She wants to die, for your geass to grow strong enough so she can fulfill the conditions of a code transfer. She does not care if you lose your mind along the way, only that you kill her when the time comes. Upon claiming her code, your geass, which you have come to rely on, will cease to be."
"That's not-" Lelouch mumbled. Immortality? Transferable? In light of that, vampires made absurd sense. "I can't execute her."
"Geass is an old Irish myth," his father continued, ignoring him. "You are granted unbelievable power, all on a condition. A contract one could say. Inevitably fate conspires against the hero, and they violate their contract despite the best of their abilities and are now eternally cursed. You cannot break the contract. When the time comes, she will call it in and you will be powerless to stop it. The only one who can is her, and she has centuries of experience making contracts which put no conditions on her."
"Except I did," Lelouch whispered.
His father beamed with pride. "A mistake perhaps borne from her ordeal. Put her in a position where she must force you to hurt another, and you will be free. It will feel like a chain around your heart has been lifted."
"You-" Lelouch stammered, and a horrifying possibility crashed into him-an immortal Emperor eternally subjugating this world.
"My contract is not with C.C. V.V, though, remains amusingly unaware, believing we are still joined in purpose. I suspect she will not realize the error she made with you. Immortality tends to lead to beliefs of invincibility and infallibility. You must do this Lelouch. She will come for you; she always does. And she can call in her contract at any time, requiring you to do anything she desires. It is a slavery of not only the mind but the soul."
Lelouch took a shuddering breath. "But can you kill V.V. then?"
"Only if he wishes unfortunately. The mechanics of code transference are, for now, still unknown." Pausing, his father studied him. "I have no interest in bearing the burden of immortality forever, Lelouch. I have seen what it does to one's mind. How the insanity of one mind began the Emblem of Blood. C.C. should be commended for holding on as long as she has. It drives her to desperation, knowing she will eventually lose all recollection of her former self, of her own personhood. Napoleon terrorized Spain under her direction, seeking to learn the wherabouts of their code bearer who was rumored to have received it from his grandfather, a conquistador, through a simple transferance. Napoleon was only too eager to claim the secrets of immortality for himself.
"Fortunately, he had already transferred his code to his son who had fled to Portugal and then to Brazil. A decade after, he arrived in Britannia, presenting himself to Empress Elizabeth to make the case for reclaiming his homeland. She demanded he make a contract, entrusting geass to her youngest son. We lacked the forces to launch an effective counter offense, instead sending our own agents to kill Napoleon. The young code bearer was sated for a while, fearful of the mayhem an immortal Napoleon could wreck.
"But the years passed by, and he grew in his discontent until he confronted Empress Elizabeth. He demanded we attack then. She refused, so he willed her son to fulfill his promise, and she laughed in his face. The youngest son had no right to direct Britannian military policy. Furious, he fled the capital with her son under his control. Five years later, the son returned, having stolen his code, but refused to reveal how he transferred code, regardless of how each monarch begged him. Still, he served the royal family faithfully until the Emblem of Blood when V.V. took his place."
"That's why you're so invested in archeology," Lelouch said.
"The New World held many secrets that our ancestors razed to fuel their greed. C.C. left the E.U. during their war to infiltrate the royal family and discover what we knew. She continues to aid us in hopes that we can recover this knowledge, among other things. If I kill V.V., I will tell you everything, Lelouch. The danger will have passed. And once you provide your mother and I with a few grandchildren, I will transfer the code to you as you may once your children are old enough."
"Why not Odysseus?" Lelouch asked skeptically.
His father groaned. "Because he does not want kids."
"I don't either." Not while his father could use them as tools. Not while Lelouch was certain their future would only be pain and misery. He would not make a good father.
"You can change your mind. Odysseus had a vasectomy about ten years ago as things were becoming more serious with his mistress. He said he would not bring a child into the world only for it to be killed." Rolling his eyes, his father leaned forward and grabbed a pastry. "Waiting apparently did not occur to him. How he found a doctor who did not recognize him is absolutely beyond me. How do you even become licensed if you cannot recognize the Emperor's face?"
That doctor was most definitely dead... Or in the dungeons, a warm body for whatever geass experiments his father concocted. And Odysseus had proceeded anyway, knowing that he was condemning the man to death for merely doing his job. Odysseus had survived though, continued to be the only one the Emperor listened to-but that was a lie, wasn't it?
"Did you ever use your geass on Odysseus?" Lelouch asked.
His father stopped chewing. "Yes. He had an unfortunate habit of spying and being where he shouldn't be as a child."
Lelouch should've known. His father didn't do feelings. He wouldn't let sentimentality stop him from achieving his goals. Was anyone in their family free from his geass's influence?
His father resumed chewing and swallowed. "If you follow in your brother's footsteps, I will be most displeased."
"I know," Lelouch whispered. To act in such a manner would only bring tragedy.
"You want to protect your sister?" his father asked coldly. "Then ensure you can fulfill your duty, so I do not take preventive measures and ensure Nunnally's long term wellbeing."
The knife trembled in his grip. He dared? He dared to threaten his sister. His own daughter! She wouldn't even know the truth, living whatever fantasy his father crafted for her. But Lelouch would be allowed to remember. That was the punishment for him.
Lelouch stood abruptly. "May I please be excused?"
Had he just made a mistake?
"No, sit down," his father ordered.
"What do you want from me!" Lelouch snapped. "Tell me what you want, and I will do my duty, but if I have to constantly guess at your intent, then I will be wrong."
"I want you to have what you deserve."
What the hell did that even mean! That explained nothing, even if it was his geass pulling the answers out of him.
His father leaned back, a strange weariness settling over his shoulders. "You may go if you wish... Do you want to prepare dinner for tonight?"
No. He wanted to leave and be free. He wanted to return to the fantasy of finding security in his own thoughts and mind. He wanted his friends.
"Nineteen hundred," he offered and marched out of the room.
His strength fled him as he arrived at the solarium and the fresh morning breeze rushed over him, stealing the heat from his skin. From this height, the city sprawled idly to the north and long container ships lazed in the glimmering sea. Pendragon-a city without strife. The nobility would never allow their idyllic world view to be shattered by the devastation their existence wrought. And with the Emperor's personal forces always a step away, none could rise in challenge.
Every journalist wished to be here; none ever published an unapproved word.
He despised it, and his mind conjured glorious flames that would leap up, racing down the hills in a giant indomitable wave. The precious draperies and tapestries within the palace would not escape the sparks. The fire would grow slowly, smoldering in the fabric, until a breeze fed it life and it would leap through the rooms with eager abandon. The people would scream, trying to flee. Others would run with hoses and useless pails of water.
But the fire would not be quenched.
And then...
They would all be ash.
His finger traced the slight curve of his mouth-a terrifying realization. He yearned for the destruction, knowing hundreds of thousands would die. Wasn't there something cathartic in destruction? Except he should be ashamed; yet, he was not.
He pushed his way onto the porch and felt the smooth polished stone. The palace would survive a mere fire. Britannia would not fall-especially with his father holding the reigns of power. Geass... How could anyone fight geass? There was no escape. He was trapped.
His heart clawed at his chest, begging for release, and his gaze wandered up the marble column, up to the stony walls with evenly laid bricks. Up to the roof-a taunting challenge.
He took off his boots, then his socks.
Long ago, when times were simpler, he had climbed out of his bedroom window. At the Kururugi shrine as well. Suzaku would join him frequently, far more agile than Lelouch could ever hope to be. He hadn't realized his gilded cage then, but he still climbed to freedom.
Below him, the ground swayed and spun. He refocused his eyes on the roof, a fixed destination. His fingers strained under his weight, barely able to find a grip in the stone recesses. His toes clambered for support. A rock chipped free, colliding with his feet and hurtling further down.
He would die if he fell. The thought steadied him. The pounding of his heart reminded him he was still alive and drove all other thoughts away.
One hand. One foot. One after another. Higher and higher.
The burn in his muscles and the aches in his fingers were welcome. He deserved them.
Finally, he reached the ledge and pulled himself over, lying on the precipice and catching his breath. And Roy thought he needed to exercise more.
As the rush in his ears faded, he listened to the harsh wind. The bird songs. The sound of feet against shingles-
He sat upright, his hand dropping to his side, searching for the gun he couldn't carry in his father's presence. There was a woman. Her eyes were raw; cheeks, flushed. She wore a modified servant's uniform yet wore a silk scarf.
"Who are you?" she asked nervously. "No one is supposed to be here."
His breath caught. Yes. No one was supposed to be here. Only his father and his servants who would never think of betrayal. And his mother who had lived in this wing since the failed assassination attempts. Then Nunnally because she had been grounded. And now Lelouch because he wasn't yet allowed to leave. Who the hell was she then?
"Do you work here? You should probably return before they find out you're missing," she said, twisting her black hair. Her eyes were a soft, familiar purple. "Could you-Could you not say I was up here? I will be back down for dinner. Nobody will realize I'm missing, I swear."
"Who are you?" Lelouch asked, baffled. His father was the Emperor. He had no reason to hide a mistress in his private wing.
Her brow furrowed. "I thought everyone was informed of me."
"I was out on an assignment," Lelouch answered. Was she a threat? He was on the edge of the roof. A breeze could send him hurtling down. She had the advantage. The thought didn't bother him nearly as much as it should.
"Amelia," she introduced herself, extending a hand. At his expectant look, she grimaced. "Amelia Burns."
"You're my aunt?" Lelouch exclaimed.
Her face immediately shuttered. "You're Nunnally's brother."
He nearly laughed. So few ever addressed him like that. If only he was just that, but then his sister would take the brunt of his father's gaze... and he was abandoning her to be the sub-viceroy as he conquered foreign nations. What had he agreed to?
"Why are you up here?" she asked. Her gaze wandered to the ledge, a hairbreadth away from him. He glanced down longingly. "You should move further in."
"I like it here." Lelouch lied down again, his blood humming in discontentment. "It must be nice to fly."
Her footsteps approached cautiously, and she sat by him, her feet dangling off. "Nunnally loves you dearly, even though you hurt her."
"She would be better without me," Lelouch said. "They all would."
If he had never been born, then things would've been quite simple. They would've been better off because at least in death people didn't suffer. What had he accomplished, truly? Everything was in the vain hope for a better future, yet he kept making things worse. He would continue to make things worse.
Geass. A curse upon the world. A weapon of conquerors and monsters.
Would his father really kill them all if he died? That would be a waste of skilled resources. Nunnally would be- But then, maybe his father would finally understand what happened if he pushed too far. Maybe he would learn. Not that it would matter because Lelouch would be free of all responsibilities. He couldn't die-
He couldn't die because-
He had to do something meaningful; people were relying on him-it would only end in failure and suffering.
He could die.
The tantalizingly fresh option settled heavily in his bones. He had always dismissed it. Always reminded himself why he had to go on. But he didn't. It was freeing. He could quit, and no one would be able to stop him. His mind could remain his own to the very end.
"I think Nunnally would disagree," Amelia said softly. Her hand brushed against his shoulder, soft as a summer breeze. "She would certainly be devastated by your loss."
"Because she doesn't know better. I'll only hurt her again; I'm still hurting her right now because everything I do worries her. Isn't it better to rip off the bandaid?"
"No. I think she'll blame herself." Her shadow fell over him, and her eyes were hard as stone. "She will spend every day wondering why she wasn't enough of a reason."
His breath caught, and he squeezed his eyes shut-anything to escape.
"She loves you. Don't do that to her. Don't deny her choice. It's not your decision whether she should care for you or not." Hands wrapping over his arms, over his stitches, she pulled.
Biting down a scream, Lelouch followed, away from the ledge, away from his escape. She was right. He could not be so selfish. Now was not the time. But an assassin would come. A stray bullet. He knew how easy it was to take a life; his own would be the same. Geass. Code. Father. None of them could truly trap him. He had his escape.
"Why did you come up here?" Lelouch asked finally.
"Same reason you did." Her face twisted, and she bit her lip as tears swelled in her eyes. "I can't. I need to save my son first. But Marianne won't let me go. She insists on keeping me safe, that she'll find him, but how can I even trust her? I'm not the sister she remembers, and she sure as hell is not the one I remember!"
Lelouch frowned, avoiding her gaze. "She never talks about her past. I didn't even know she had siblings."
Amelia quieted and sat on the roof, hugging her legs tightly. "That's the problem. She doesn't remember. How can I blame her? Why remember being peasants when you can be royalty?"
His father used his geass on her. What had he changed? How much of their world had been altered to fit his desires?
"She is trying her best," Lelouch whispered. "She always tries, but she is really bad at it."
"I'm my sister's prisoner," she spat.
"It's an improvement. She is not trying to solve the problem with murder," Lelouch joked weakly.
"She kidnapped me!"
"And she tried to murder my best friend to protect me." Lelouch took a seat, sighing. "It's how she is. She won't listen to anyone but my father and occasionally Reuben-Lord Ashford... But she keeps trying to be more."
"What happened to her?" Amelia whispered. Her despair quickly turned to fury. "Your father ruined her."
"He does that." Just like Lelouch. Maybe it was in their blood.
"He has decades on her," she spat.
He had used his geass on her.
"She was... a kid." Her voice broke, thick with unshed tears. "It would've been better if we both died that night. Our parents-They would hate her."
Maybe Lelouch was cursed. All his ancestors undoubtedly despised him. Unfortunately, only Kaguya would laugh at that joke.
"There's a break in the guard's schedule. It's normally reserved so the Emperor's agent can enter alone, unhindered, but he doesn't receive them all nights, especially when my mother returns," Lelouch whispered, voice speeding up. Not all of them had to be bound, and the longer she stayed and continued to be obstinate, to not give his parents the respects they felt they deserved, the greater the threat to her became. The Emperor would geass her into compliance. Make her forget her son and whatever memory of his mother she mourned. She was just a peasant after all. "I have bleach for your hair. I'll hide some in the avocado tree. You'll need to leave Pendragon quickly. Buy a used car with cash-I'll hide it with the bleach. Drive during the day, during rush hour. They'll expect you to flee during the night."
She looked at him then, eyes wide in gratitude. "Why do you..."
He looked back at the ocean. Maybe he should take Roy's offer. Unfortunately, he had probably pissed off the E.U. far too much with his stunt with Leila to seek their protection. They would ransom him back to his parents immediately-or kill him.
"Ultimately, my father is far too invested in me to ever let me escape-alive that is."
Hesitantly, she extended her arms and pulled him into an awkward hug. "Don't jump. This... this means so much. You have no idea. And- When I find my son, I would want him to meet you. Wait until then, please?"
"Don't thank me yet. You might still die," Lelouch said dully.
"Thank you," she insisted. "Even if-Well, I at least tried. Also, you're going down first."
He laughed darkly. He would regret this; he knew. His father would know they were both on the rooftops. He would know of Lelouch's involvement in her escape. None of it mattered. She would probably die, but at least it was a more meaningful death.
Lelouch rose and ignored her scream as he slung himself over the edge, fingers digging into the crevices between the bricks once more.
"You asshole," she screeched down at him.
"Sorry," he shouted, surprised that he meant it.
Babel Tower, Area Eleven
With her face now known, Nunnally had opted out of returning to Ashford Academy, unlike Euphie. She already knew how the other students would act and fawn. She had her friends, and they were welcome to visit her whenever they wished. The other students wasted their chance, and she wouldn't oblige to their groveling now.
Besides, she had things to do. Allie had taken care of maintaining the Black King's business in her absence, but many things required a more delicate touch. They still needed to negotiate with the OSI to prevent any further calamities.
"Do you have comments on your brother's execution?" Diethard asked as they climbed the staircases of the back entrance. Behind them, her father's guard followed sedately-a reminder that she would need to build her own royal guard soon. "There are rumors that he was actually murdered."
"He is-was my half-brother," she said. She paused, listening to the distant sounds and the strange sudden absence. "You're not printing anything I say."
"I am without a job until the new Viceroy is assigned," he said. "I have half the mind to quit. Prince Lelouch is still a forerunner, and he does not seem to like me very much."
There was a hint of accusation in his tone, and Nunnally shrugged. She hadn't needed to do anything. "He does not like reporters."
"People are curious about you," he said. "The blind princess honored by the Emperor. It is a shame that Prince Clovis's death overshadowed the beginning of the season. They could barely print the papers fast enough."
"I doubt it was anything good," Nunnally said bitterly. She would never be a threat in their eyes or even worthy of respect. Out of her family, only her parents and Lelouch saw any potential in her... and Schneizel. He was leaving, heading into a new game, but between his words was an offer of support which she desperately needed. "It is probably for the best that bigger news overshadowed the event."
"You underestimate the power of the censors when they care. Yes, if you read between the lines, there is discontent, yet you have earnest supporters. It seems your impromptu speech garnered you some allies."
She stopped and dared to ask, "What did they say?"
He chuckled softly. "That you are an angel of justice. I think they would be quite surprised to find the angel has talons."
Pondering, she continued the climb and finally exited into the far more private top floors where she wouldn't be seen. It was irksome that they shoved her into a weak little box. Justice did not exist in Britannia. What mattered was power. Putting aside her distaste, she had to admit there was potential there. People would always underestimate her which rankled her, but the people who mattered knew better.
Who cared if the masses saw her as weak? It would be to their detriment.
She inhaled slowly, pushing down the fury. Was it too much to ask to be seen for once?
Yes...
"Justice is blind," Nunnally whispered. What would Schneizel do? He was the White Prince, with a reputation pristine as fresh snow despite it hiding the countless frozen corpses beneath. "I should allow the people to request an audience. Let them appeal to me."
"For the commoners?" Diethard asked warily.
"The nobles barely support me anyway."
Her brother refused to market himself. He only networked to advance his political agenda, to push laws into existence and bring relief aid. His mystery was undoubtedly appealing, a brand to say. But it lacked the power to draw support and exert any pressure. He didn't want that; they needed it. One day the Emperor would die, and then it would just be the two commoner stains on the royal family. Worse, she would be the pitiful broken princess. They needed to become the most beloved royals in the family. That was Schneizel; the nobility loved him.
The elevator dinged, and she stepped inside. "Will you stay with me Diethard?"
"Of course, Your Highness," he said.
She nearly laughed at the blatant lie. He would stay as long as she proved interesting and led them to greater heights-to his promised cabinet position. "Will you stay to change the world?"
"Yes." And that was the truth.
If she wanted that pristine image, the Black King needed further degrees of separation from her. No one could suspect a connection.
As they stepped out of the elevator, she heard Allie and Shirley chatting amicably... And was that Gwen?
Her lips twisted into a smile. Gwen, she could tie to her cause. With Allie at Nunnally's side, Gwen would never dare to betray her.
"Nunnally!" Allie shouted, as always, taking the opportunity to pull her into a hug. "Gwen is being a worry wart. She doesn't believe me when I say we're fine. Tell her."
"Allie is my best friend," Nunnally assured. "I will make sure nothing happens to her."
Behind them, her father's two guards stepped inside as the door closed, reaffirming her point. Royalty came with privilege.
"It is nice to see you, Your Highness," Gwen said warily. "I was quite worried after the hotel incident. Your brother was in quite a state."
"Yeah." Nunnally sagged at the reminder. She had to remember there were consequences. She wouldn't be like Euphie, recklessly charging ahead. "We were fortunate Lelouch was so desperate to find me."
Allie inhaled sharply. Fortunate, even as he annihilated the OSI cell and threatened to whip Milly. Fortunate because they could have died.
The problem was everyone knew the consequences of harming royalty, and once they had, there was nothing stopping them from going all the way. Why not relish the opportunity to kill a royal-to finally have the powerful begging at your feet-if your death was already guaranteed?
"You and your brother are so different," Gwen said sadly. A rustle of fabric followed, and the gentle thump of weight hitting the floor. "Your Highness, I humbly request you release Allie from your service."
"Gwen!" Allie shrieked. "You can't do that. Nunnally! Don't let her. I don't want to leave."
"Your Highness," Gwen begged. "Please. I want her safe."
Let Allie leave? Her best friend? Send her away to where she would be safe. Things would only become more dangerous. It was what a proper friend would do. But the thought hurt. Allie had always been there, helping her without a word, supporting her, listening to her. But it was the right thing to do.
"I-" Nunnally broke off. She needed her friends in a sea of leeches. They were the only ones she could rely on besides Lelouch.
"Your Highness. We are commoners. We do not have the skills or resources to defend ourselves. We are honored to have shared this time together, but how is Allie supposed to follow? She won't be safe. Of course we care for you, but-"
There was always a "but." Nunnally squeezed her eyes shut. She was being selfish. Five minutes ago, she had been plotting how to secure Gwen as an asset. Was this the type of person she wanted to be?
"I don't care!" Allie cried. "You don't get to take this from me, Gwen. I want this. Nunnally and I have talked about this."
"And what of your family?" Gwen snapped. "Do you think they'll leave us alone while you go off? I know she's your friend, but this affects more than you. It is foolish for us to rely on something as fickle as royal favor?"
Was this because Nunnally was blind? That Gwen didn't believe she could protect her friend and her family? Nunnally would. They were hers.
Allie quieted treacherously.
If only she could see the room, read their faces. Know what they were thinking! Lies were easy to spot, but emotions were a fizzy mess that slipped through her fingers. She wanted to be there for them, to understand them. She could not.
Was Allie reconsidering? Was she furious with her sister? Was she going to leave her? Did she hate her for putting her into this position?
"I do not intend to lose, Gwen," Nunnally said. "I am going to change things, and of everyone in my family, my brother and I understand regular people the most. Is that not a story you want to help shape?"
"Allie," Gwen whispered. "We need to go. Mother misses you. When you're eighteen, you can enlist if that is what you want."
"But-" Shirley interrupted. "You can't mean to pull her out of Ashford Academy? She's our friend!"
"And she has learned far more than I ever did," Gwen said. "She will have a better job than anyone in our family ever dared to hope for. You cannot accomplish that if you are dead."
"Allie is fourteen," Nunnally argued desperately. She knew it was wrong. She should push them away. They would be safer. Commoners shouldn't mingle with royalty. "It should be her decision."
Please stay, she silently begged.
"She is still a minor," Gwen said. "Our family wants her back, Your Highness. Do you intend to spit on years of friendship to punish us for it?"
Nunnally could. It was tempting. She could order Allie to stay, and no one would dare to refuse. She could make Gwen regret ever asking.
Why wasn't Allie saying anything?
"The offer-" Nunnally swallowed. "-is still open, Allie."
"What offer?" Gwen asked.
Allie exhaled. "To be her Knight of Honor."
Why did she sound so pained when she said that?
"Don't," Gwen whispered. "Don't give her that power over you. You're still young. There will be new people."
"I accept," Allie said, voice shaking. Clearing her throat, she dropped to the ground with a thud. "Your Highness, I swear my loyalty to you, and if you will have me, I would be honored to be your knight."
But not happy.
"I accept your oath," Nunnally said. She would be a fool not and risk losing her friend. The ceremony would come later. It was enough for now. "Rise."
Allie stepped behind her, a warm presence to her left.
"You can stay," Nunnally offered, curbing her anger. Gwen's skills would be useful. "Mr. Reid can ensure decent employment for yourself, and there is always value in having a reporter on your side."
"You honor me," Gwen said finally, her tone dead. "It would be my pleasure to assist Your Highness in any way you deem fit."
"Very well," Nunnally said and gestured to Diethard. "Your parents aren't having doubts, are they, Shirley?"
"He was in the army," Shirley said. "It'd be hypocritical for him to protest. He's proud of me as long as it's what I want."
Nunnally paused. "Does your father still remember his training?"
"He tries when he's not hiking all over the mountains for geology samples. Why?"
"I need people for my royal guard, and while I am sure my brother knows plenty of people who are skilled and trustworthy, I am the one who is supposed to do it."
"I'll suggest it to him," Shirley said. Chuckling, she continued, "It would be crazy for me to join, like I couldn't do anything when those guys came, but if I learned and-"
"Shirley," Nunnally interrupted warmly. "Finish your schooling first. If you pass Basic, I'd be happy to have you."
"Thank you," Shirley squeaked as they exited the room.
Ahead, light footsteps approached.
In the end, wasn't it better this way? By allowing them to attend the party, Nunnally had exposed her friends to nobles already. They would be targeted, but she could protect them in turn. There was no safe way to turn back. She relaxed. They would stay with her.
Abruptly, the world fell silent and a strange lethargy crept over her.
Nunnally gripped her cane tightly and turned defensively. There were still sounds in the distance. Loud and boisterous laughter from the floors below as nobles emptied their pockets. That was the easiest side of the Black King's business. The smuggling and drugs weren't something she could leave unattended nor shut down. Such unpleasant affairs would unfortunately have to be reworked to run with greater finesse and profits. Giving the Emperor a cut would endear him to her. How many of her siblings provided the Empire funds instead of endlessly leeching them?
The soft footsteps neared. Far too soft for casual walking.
"Allie?" Nunnally asked. Her heart accelerated at the lack of response. She had her father's guards with her. They should be more than capable of handling anything. She could hear their faint breaths along with Allie and Shirley.
Yet there was no whisper of fabric, squeaks of shoes, or general awkward pops the human body was prone to making.
"Guards!" Nunnally shouted, automatically falling back. Allie didn't move as Nunnally brushed past her.
Somehow, the agent ahead of her knew not only where to find her but had also managed to paralyze them. Had Diethard betrayed her? What could a noble have offered him that made it worthwhile?
Irritated, Nunnally pulled out her long hairpin and pressed the cold metal against her forearm. A press of a button released the small serrated edges. Her other hand tightened around her cane, and she turned to face the corner around which her attacker was coming.
Had they intended to paralyze her as well?
She calmed herself, freezing her limbs and listening attentively.
Their footsteps grew louder as they neared, more confident, more... familiar.
Snarling, she threw out her cane. Dull vibrations ran down into her hand, and for a brief moment, Allie and the guards stirred with an aborted shout. She didn't wait, lunging forward with her hair pin and slashing wildly. It tore through cloth, hooking into something more rubbery.
"Wha-"
The world fell silent again.
Her attacker grunted, pained, and shoved her back. She readied herself. Instead, his footsteps pounded against the floor, fleeing.
"Your Highness!" the guard cried. "What happened!"
"The assassin went that way." She gestured to where his receding footsteps rang.
They didn't catch him. The security cameras had been turned off via an old override. Was it someone who used to work for the Black King? But where would they get paralyzing agents? How would they even know where she would be? She hadn't told anyone... only her friends.
Imperial Palace, New Pendragon
From his rooms, Lelouch stood on the balcony, uncaring for the slight droplets of rain biting into his skin. His father had finally allowed him to leave his wing, but he was still restricted to the palace grounds. Strangely, he had said nothing so far about Lelouch's escapade on the roof. He most certainly knew, but maybe, he didn't care.
"Your Highness?" John, the valet, asked cautiously from the doorway. "You're getting wet."
"I know."
"Is everything alright?"
"Of course," Lelouch said, not finding the energy to even turn around. The servants had noticed the change in his demeanor. Probably because he hadn't even bothered to dismiss them from whichever room he was in. Now, they crowded his quarters, parting around him as he stared aimlessly.
He could die. It was a strange notion. He had always been so certain that he couldn't. The only question remained how. He didn't want to cause Nunnally undue grief; he had hurt her enough already. Dying in battle, while poetic, would only harm his troops. Waiting for an assassin would take so long. An accident maybe?
Why was this so difficult?
"His Majesty requests your presence," the steward interrupted, hours later. "You should dry off. You will catch a cold."
Illness. Well, that was an option. Only the doctor would be blamed, and Lelouch hardly cared for whatever physician his father would assign.
Sighing, he headed inside and accepted the towel to pat himself dry. He should at least wait until his mother returned and Amelia safely escaped. One good deed before he was done. Ignoring the offer of new clothes, he went to see what the Emperor wanted.
His father was waiting before the grand doors, appraising him with a cold look. "Why are you wet?"
"I wanted some fresh air."
"Your guards have finally found their way back to your side."
Plural? Of course Henry would come. He was literally brainwashed to serve his purpose. Why would Frederick or Stadtfeld join? They had a family, a life, and Lelouch was a terrible person and a worse friend. Still... It would be nice to see them again, one last time.
"Does that mean I can return to the division?" Lelouch asked hopefully. He would prefer to say his final goodbyes. That felt good.
"There is the matter of you getting shot." His father's hand dropped on the wound, and Lelouch flinched. "It has not healed."
"It's nothing," Lelouch hissed, tugging away.
"When the doctor clears you," his father said. "There is another matter-the question of where your guards were when you got shot. Why would you confront Clovis on your own?"
"Would you have let a unit live with knowledge of the royal family's dirty laundry?" Lelouch asked.
"No," his father said dully. His face twisted in a grimace. "That is not an excuse."
"It was better that way," Lelouch argued. "People hesitate to shoot royalty. They would have all ended up dead, and I was not going to lose men for something I could handle."
His father pushed open the side door, greeting the guards already inside and climbed the dias to his throne. A glare had Lelouch scurrying after him.
"Stand to my left," his father ordered. "You were shot, Lelouch. That is unacceptable, and your guards failed in their duty."
Panic seized his heart. "No. I tricked them. I left them. It was my fault."
"Their duty is to protect you, regardless of what antics their charge goes too."
Lelouch bowed his head. "I am the one at fault. Punish me, Father, for my foolishness."
His father scoffed. "And that is the problem. You value them more than your life."
"I'm not worth more."
"You are a prince!" his father roared. "Your life is irreplaceable."
Hardly. He was one person.
"I find myself at an impasse. Punishing your guards for their failure has motivated them, but it does nothing to help when the underlying cause is your attitude."
Lelouch froze, running over the words once more. "You punished my guards? They're mine."
His father absently waved his hand, and one of his guards stepped up behind Lelouch, grabbing his arms and pinning him in place.
"Father?" Lelouch asked, trying to calm his hammering heart.
"As you continue to position them such that your health is not their fault, I must punish them for failing to be where they should be. Their priority is your life, not your orders. And maybe if you are incapable of valuing your own life, then perhaps I have to make that calculation for you. You're a prince. Your life is worth a thousand of theirs. So should I punish a thousand men to prevent you from discarding your life whenever it is practical?"
"No. It's not their fault," Lelouch argued, fruitlessly trying to pull himself free.
"Bring in the prisoners," his father ordered.
Stadtfeld, Frederick, and Henry. They had all come. How could they be so stupid?
Their arms were bound behind their back, and they winced as the guards pushed them to the floor. Stadtfeld, hair in disarray, jerked to the side violently, snarling at her captors. Even Henry seemed a moment shy from fighting his way out.
Had they all gone mad?
Frederick lifted his eyes, noticing him and hissed quietly to the others. They finally calmed.
"I will be lenient today, Lelouch," the Emperor said quietly. "Next time, it will be a thousand men, and you will stand here as well and watch. Do you understand?"
"Father, please," Lelouch begged.
Why the fuck had he wasted the geass on something as stupid as the truth. His father loved him? What did it matter! He would always do what he wanted-damning Lelouch's desires in the process.
"Take him," his father ordered the guards. "And bring the other two forward."
This time Henry snarled, trying to break free as two Unspeakables dragged him out of the room.
Lelouch grit his teeth. "Please. Henry is loyal to me. Do you have to take his memories again?"
"Your talent at bringing him to malfunction is why he was distracted and you were shot," his father said slowly. "Your right arm? Prepare the gun."
An Unspeakable stepped forward, raising a small handgun.
Lelouch threw himself forward. "No. Don't!"
They didn't deserve an execution. Not for this. "It's my fault! Not, theirs!"
"And maybe this time you will learn," his father said as the guards pinned the two on the ground.
Lelouch squeezed his eyes shut, turning away. He couldn't watch. He couldn't have the memory of their deaths endlessly repeating in his dreams.
Two shots.
"Let him go," his father said softly. "They will feel every wound you experience, Lelouch."
What?
His father rose. "The physician will not attend them. I am sure they can make it like you did."
Lelouch waited until the doors closed behind his father before rushing down the steps. "Frederick?"
"Fine," he grunted. "Hurts less than the last time."
"What last time?" Lelouch hissed.
Frederick blinked blearily. "When you got shot."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Biting his lip, Lelouch freed his knife and cut his shirt. "Pressure now."
"I know the drill... Glad you're alive. Gotta tell Roy. And Kallen?"
"Stadtfeld?" Lelouch asked, rushing to her. She was deathly pale, and blood was gushing around her. "Stadtfeld, shit."
He cinched the strip of fabric around her arm.
"Stadtfeld?" He checked her eyes and she stirred briefly. "Kallen!"
Frederick groaned, staggering to his feet. "Shock. She was freaking out since the guard detained her. Should've warned her."
"Help me," Lelouch ordered, staggering as he tried to lift her. She needed care.
Frederick swore violently as he tried to move his arm. "Hold the fuck still."
Wasting far too much time, Lelouch finally had her over his shoulder, and he staggered out of the door with Frederick, far too pale, following from behind.
His servants shrieked upon seeing him and parted around him as they fretted uselessly. "Get me some thread," Lelouch ordered. "And a needle. And hot water. And some tweezers. And some towels. Lots of towels. And alcohol."
He dropped her on the couch, and she finally opened her eyes with a pained cry. Two eyes focused on him before drifting off and refocusing again.
"It's good you're alive," she slurred. "Always knew the Emperor was an asshole."
Lelouch snorted and stiffened as he remembered they were not alone. "Out!"
Frederick gingerly lowered himself to the ground, clutching his right arm and inspecting it with a pinched expression. "Please stop getting shot. How'd ya even manage it this time?"
"Clovis's guards weren't too happy to find their charge dead," Lelouch said grimly as he grabbed the tweezer.
In the corner or the room, he spotted Tanya and John. "Some painkillers, and you, I need to hold this."
Kallen's eyes refocused on him as Tanya tied a tourniquet above the wound. "Sorry for fainting. Shouldn't have done that."
"It happens to the best."
Frederick laughed. "Like the time you didn't eat for three days?"
Lelouch glared at him and grabbed the tweezers. "I'm sorry. This is going to hurt. Bite on this."
She screamed as he dug out the bullet. For once, his hands were calm. Then he threaded the needle and began to sew the wound shut.
Afterwards, he moved onto Frederick as John helped her swallow three tablets along with a glass of water.
The door opened once more as Lelouch rethreaded the needle. Henry stared at them in confusion.
"Did you run into a gunfight?" Henry asked. "We need a doctor."
Lelouch sighed and began stitching Frederick's wounds shut.
"The Emperor," Kallen answered for him. She was still far too pale, and tried to stand, wobbling precariously, before sitting down. "He didn't like that Lelouch got shot."
"Why were you shot?" Henry asked.
Frederick jerked. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Henry! The Emperor arrested us because he was pissed. We're lucky we're not dead, and you think everything is fine!"
"He can't remember," Lelouch said darkly. He shouldn't... "I will explain later, but he is not pulling anything."
Yet for it to be so obvious this time... Did repeated use weaken his father's geass or was there some sort of limit on how he could rewrite memories? The goal was to keep Henry loyal, but if changing his loyalty from Lelouch to the Emperor was this noticeable, maybe Lelouch had a chance. Notes and codes to himself. Well, that would only work if he noticed something was wrong, and Henry never seemed to. But if those he trusted did and helped him... But then his father would probably make him forget that he trusted his friends.
Somewhere there was an idea. He could take countermeasures.
"Done," Lelouch said, tying off the stitch.
"Give me the whisky," Frederick ordered.
"Not with the painkillers," Lelouch reprimanded him and plucked the glass of water and pills from John's hands.
"Henry, go be useful and call Roy to tell him Lelouch is fine... and that we're fine. Everyone is fine."
"Real believable," Lelouch mumbled. He should do it. He could lie.
Kallen leaned back into the pillows and stared at him with a slightly dazed expression. "You look nice without a shirt."
Lelouch groaned. "You're high and not to talk to anyone."
She nodded seriously. "Can't tell people you're only an asshole because you have to be. Or that there is a betting pool for who you'll fuck. Or that Martell thinks you're a prince and writes erotic fiction. And that Kaguya and Milly should never be left alone together." She paused, her eyes narrowed in concentration. "Kaguya should never be alone with anyone. She is very dangerous. I'm dangerous too. I thought I should kill you, but then Nunnally would be sad, and I like Nunnally. And Kaguya would be upset too."
Lelouch buried his head in his hands, laughter bubbling in his gut.
"It would be easier if you were evil, but you keep only pretending and it's very annoying. You should be more honest. You wouldn't have told anyone I was half. You were bluffing because I hadn't done anything. Except if people do, then you kill them, which is good. They deserve it."
Lelouch stared at her curiously. "And if you were honest, what would you tell me?"
"I love Japan. I shouldn't. I like Britannia too. Piloting is fun, and Gino is alright, even if he is a Knight of the Rounds. You don't think I'm a traitor, do you?"
"No." Just a very complicated relationship with the country, now Area, where she was born. "Thank you for telling me."
Frederick snorted. "At least she's not bawling her eyes shut..." His voice cracked. "Fuck."
Kallen hummed in agreement. "His Highness should fuck."
Frederick burst into loud uproarious laughter.
"You two are apparently fine," Lelouch declared in disgust. A fond smile tugged at his lips. He would miss them, even Kallen and Henry.
"You're fine," Kallen shouted after him.
Imperial Palace, New Pendragon
Marianne woke with a lurch and spat in disgust into the bowl at her side. V.V. That fucking little shithead. He deserved every hell in the world, to rotate between them on an endless rotation. Or decapitation with his head used as a soccer ball for all her grandchildren and their descendants. Or to be dropped in the Mariana Trench, which would just be delicious irony on top as his eyeballs-
"Marianne, are you... alright?" Charles asked quietly.
"No! That gremlin!" She threw up her hands in frustration and began peeling the various electrodes off of her so she could finally get into her wheelchair. "Can't ever do his fucking job. Oh, he's not just making artificial geasses, but he dived off the loopy end. Apparently, he's figured out you're actually not that serious about the whole Ragnarok idea."
"Oh." Charles winced. "He is not about to try and convince me, is he? Again?"
Marianne snatched the cup of water and rinsed her mouth. "No. He apparently scrapped Ragnarok too."
"What?" Charles asked.
"Fucking gremlin." She shoved herself off the bed and winced as she fell into the wheelchair. "The fucking idiot can't even put stuff into storage right."
"Marianne," Charles said gently, cupping her hand. "I need you to report, coherently, instead of cursing V.V."
"He disassembled the Sword of Akasha to make something called Gugnir, whatever the fuck that is."
"Odin's spear," Charles murmured. "What does it do?"
She glared at him. "I don't know because my host is dead because your brother is a rat and has no problem killing his minions once their use is over."
"We'll figure it out," Charles assured her, stroking her hand.
"You need to kill him."
"I am working on it. Or do you want to hurry into it and have the entire geass order burning through Britannia in retaliation?"
Marianne sighed, deflating. "I know. I know. I just- I want him dead and unable to hurt us anymore. He took Amelia to hurt me, and tried to kill Lelouch and Nunnally. He has nothing to gain from it! He's just a vindictive little brat."
"He'll fall," Charles assured her, stroking her hair. "Lelouch isn't defenseless either anymore. He has a geass now. It really is something to behold."
"I said-"
"I know, but it is not like C.C. asked, and I suspect it saved his life. I have never seen a geass more suited for an Emperor. He will be wonderful."
Marianne nodded shakily. "Catch up on your work Charles; I know you have been neglecting it. I need to see Lelouch."
He pressed a warm tender kiss to her forehead. "I will see you tonight, my love."
Rolling her eyes, she reached upwards and dragged him down to kiss him properly.
...
The first thing she noticed upon entering her son's quarters was the faint smell of blood. Worried, she inspected the dark haired servant who had answered the door. The girl had a flash of familiarity to her that she couldn't place, but while clearly uncomfortable, she wasn't trying to usher her out or distract her.
"How is my son?" Marianne asked quietly.
The girl stiffened and scanned the room nervously. Her voice fell to a whisper. "Truthfully, Your Majesty, we are worried for him. He is acting more strangely than usual."
Marianne's eyebrows rose. What had Charles not mentioned?
Inside the sitting room, her son's two guards lay passed out on the couch. Bloody towels lay in a heap near them. Henry was standing attentively next to them as her son stared out of the window, completely lost in his own world.
Disquieted, she rolled forward and braced herself for his disdain. "Lelouch?"
He turned, his eyes far too haunted. The relief in his face was alien. "Mother."
Wordlessly, she stopped next to him and grabbed his hand. He took a shuddering breath, but didn't protest as she pulled him closer and then for a hug. His shoulders shook beneath her fingers, and she cast a concerned look at the couch. Both of them were at least breathing.
"Do you want to watch something together?" Lelouch asked quietly.
"Of course." Should she be happy he was finally reaching out to her again when he was so visibly distressed? "What do you need from me?"
He shrugged and leaned onto her further. "I'm tired, Mother," he finally whispered. "I'm so tired. I don't think I can do this anymore."
Something was very, very wrong.
"Talk to me," she begged. "I swear. I'll only listen. Just tell me what's wrong. Please."
"Father can change memories."
Oh dear. Silently, she closed her eyes and prepared for the worst. As much as she loved Charles, the man had no tact at times. The way he continued to fumble his interactions with their son was almost bafflingly incompetent. He could handle nobles with ease, manipulate them into whatever position he desired. But when faced with her son, he lost all his social grace.
Lelouch rested his head on her shoulder. "He used it on you."
"I asked him to," she assured him. "He regrets agreeing to it."
"How do you know that's true?"
"Because I trust him," she said sadly.
That was it came down to, wasn't it? She had burned that bridge of trust with her children years ago and was building it back one painful brick at a time. Her husband never had that trust. It was a rickety bridge, built on both of their respective hopes instead of an understanding of who they each were.
"Geass," Marianne trailed off. "I had hoped you would be spared of this pain. I'm... fond of C.C., but she never really explains the toll it takes on you."
He stiffened. "You have one?"
"Yes. C.C. offered me one, and then I infuriated her by barely using it for decades. She is going to be insufferable when she meets me again and notices that I've been using it. Just because she is centuries old, she thinks she knows better than anyone."
Lelouch didn't even chuckle. His tone remained worryingly flat. "What does it do?"
"I wanted to be someone else," Marianne admitted. "It sounds like fun when you're young, but then you quickly find out all you're missing. Geass can't give you something that is real." She shrugged. "So I stopped using it and built something real with Reuben and then Charles. And once I cared enough about my life to never want to abandon it, geass became necessary to keep it."
"A spy?" Lelouch asked, an adorable expression of confusion passing over him. "You're terrible at that."
"I keep telling Charles that," she grumbled. "I want to blow things up, not take notes on the stupidity being cooked up in the OSI."
He relaxed again, and she smiled gently. Finally.
Was it too soon to ask? She should wait. He would talk when he was ready. Pushing him had never gotten him anywhere.
"I can't," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm just so tired."
"Everyone needs to rest sometimes. If you want a break, I will roll right up to Charles and force him to give you one. You only need to ask, Lelouch. Please." She had such a hard time understanding her children, what they wanted, and more importantly, what they needed. But her son right now reminded her far too much of a battle-worn soldier at the end of the line. "I love you, Lelouch. You know that, right?"
His breath hitched.
"Your father does as well, even if he is bad at showing it."
"I know," Lelouch said. "He said."
She allowed her breathing to even out and relax. He would talk when he was ready. Here, nothing could threaten them right now. What had happened to his guards? Why could she smell blood?
How much longer would she have to wait? How could she help?
What had Charles done? Lelouch was not fine, far from it, and he had been doing better recently. Charles must have done something.
"I can force people to obey," Lelouch whispered, his voice harrowed. "One word. That's all I need to kill someone... Or to make them murder their lover. Or to torture someone into insanity. I could enslave someone, make them absolutely loyal to me, incapable of treason."
She shivered. This was what Charles meant. A power perfect for an Emperor. A geass perfect to control.
Honestly, a geass that allowed them to understand each other would suit their family far better. They already had hundreds of levers of control to press and manipulate. Lelouch was smart enough to use those. He didn't need a geass to be the Emperor. But it would offer him a degree of protection against other geass users. And C.C. would inevitably reappear again, providing him another layer of defense. She wanted her contractors to survive.
"It is a tool, Lelouch. Remember that. People and their desires change. You can use it how you see fit. You can do good."
"What good can be done robbing people of their free will?" he asked.
"You could save someone from standing on the ledge. Negotiate surrenders. Ask people to consider your requests instead of dismissing them out of hand. You can demand the truth to save others' lives. A tool is never evil, only how you use it, and I believe you can find a way that fits with your desires, even if it means not using it all."
"Father won't allow that," he said darkly. He wasn't listening.
"Then I will fight on your behalf." She sighed, eyes focused on the guards again passed out. It was good to see Stadtfeld taking her proper place, less good for her to be in obvious pain. "What happened?"
"He shot them," Lelouch growled, "because I got shot following his stupid orders to kill Clovis. He would've killed them to cover it up. He admitted it! But I'm supposed to take them with me, knowing they will die?"
"Clovis is dead?" she asked slowly. And Charles had ordered... Oh.
Gritting her teeth, she fought the rage down. For now, she would be there for Lelouch, where he needed her.
"He shouldn't have done that," she said, stroking his hair. It was far too brittle from his frequent use of bleach. He really should take better care of it.
Lelouch didn't respond, staring blankly ahead, and the longer her rage simmered, the more it grew. Charles had done this. Had put her son into such a state. He knew better. Should know better. Lelouch didn't need a damn loyalty test in killing his brother. He already hated Britannia, and Charles thought this would help?
The fucking fool.
As the guards began to stir, she extradited herself from his limbs. "You should spend time with them, and I need to yell at your father."
"Yell?" he asked with a hint of panic.
"Won't be the first time, nor will it be the last. He's an incurable idiot at times."
Gently, she kissed him on the forehead before rolling away. His guards would need to recover as well, and her presence wouldn't help.
Outside in the hallway, she paused in surprise as Aimee approached her.
"Your son," Aimee trailed off. "He needs help."
"I know," Marianne said sadly. "Thank you for looking out for him."
"Your husband... The Emperor-" Aimee shook her head and mumbled her apologies before rushing off.
Another relationship gone, but at least Aimee was safe. Her son was in a different danger altogether.
Charles greeted her merrily at the door to his bedroom. She watched him silently, afraid to speak and betray her anger which would only give him time to prepare his defense. There was an art to fighting with Charles. He always planned out every possibility and the most appropriate answers. That he had said nothing so far was disconcerting. He wasn't even expecting an argument. He saw nothing wrong in his recent actions.
As he began discussing dinner options, she nodded along absently, preparing her attack.
"So you ordered Lelouch to execute Clovis," she accused coldly as the lobster arrived.
His hand hesitated for a moment before cracking the leg. "I am surprised he told you."
"Why?" she snapped. "You have plenty of people who can do your dirty work without forcing Lelouch to kill his half-brother-a brother he was comparatively close to!"
"I... I miscalculated."
"You miscalculated." Oh, she was not letting him weasel out of this. "My son already does everything you ask of him. He does not need to prove himself to you! He's done it a thousand times over, expecting nothing in return."
His shoulders dropped as he studied his wine glass. "I was angry. Clovis had C.C. and lied to my face, repeatedly. He could have made her an enemy of Britannia. We cannot stand against an enraged code bearer, not one with C.C.'s age and experience. V.V. might help us, but he is half insane and barely knows what he is doing. C.C. could destroy us in half a dozen different ways. So I was furious and not thinking straight. Lelouch begged me..." He looked away. "I should have listened."
"You fucked up, Charles. Have you seen him? He's barely responsive. His servants are worried for him, and you shot his guards! What the fuck were you thinking? He was at least somewhat happy when I left. Now, he looks like a corpse. You did that because you can't fucking think."
"Marianne..."
"Don't Marianne me! He's my son." She leaned forward, pinning him with a glare. "He's our son, but sometimes I think you forget that. He is not a tool, not a weapon, but our son."
"I know that!" Charles yelled, rising to his feet. "He was on the roof yesterday. He climbed two stories to get onto the roof and lied on the edge. I do not want to think of what could have happened if your sister hadn't pulled him back. He doesn't value his life, and if I need to threaten his guards and hurt his feelings so he will actually care for himself, I will!"
Her heart wrenched at the implication that her sister had been on the roof as well.
"He wasn't climbing roofs when I left. This is your fuck up." She pushed herself back from the table. "Maybe you should apologize to him instead of shooting his fucking guards. Why should they even protect Lelouch if they have to live in constant fear?"
"That can be fixed."
Marianne clenched her jaw. "Geassing his guards will not help."
"It would. Lelouch's is far more suited to the task."
"He doesn't want that!' she screamed. "He despises Britannia! He doesn't want any of this! You can think all you want, that he would be a good Emperor, but none of that matters if he is going to be suicidal because of you."
"He cares for his men. He will not kill himself if it will result in the death of thousands."
"You cannot threaten someone to live, you idiot! People have to live for something. What he needs is help, and everytime we try, we make it worse. He needs his friends, even if it's that stupid bitch. She at least makes him smile which is more than I can say for either of us. Pull the division. Let them recuperate and leave Lelouch alone."
His face smoothed. "I cannot do that."
"You're going to do it or we might not have a son!"
Charles glared at her. "If I do that, he will die. He needs the experience to mature and grow if he wants to survive. V.V is not going to be patient so he can feel better."
"Feel better?" She scoffed. "This is so far beyond that. He climbed onto the fucking roof! Take him off duty. Put him and the division into the Aries Villa. They'll have a blast, and if anyone can help him, it's them."
"Marianne..." Charles walked around the table, his arm extended. "Calm down, please. You have to understand."
"Charles if you touch my fucking wheelchair, I'm going to punch you. Take him off. The future can wait, but only if he is alive to see it."
"What am I supposed to do?" He threw up his arms. "He doesn't want the Viceroyship. Should I force him to take it when he explicitly refused it? Will that help? Because I cannot pull him off and have him vacation the villa. Do you know how that will look? Everyone will think I'm covering up for him killing Clovis."
"He did kill Clovis!"
"And he has enough people yearning for his blood without all his half-siblings trying to kill him because they fear they will be next. I cannot protect Nunnally from that, and locking her up for her own safety will drive her mad. So I cannot pull him off like you want!"
She glared, waiting for him to relent. "Then I'm going."
He shook his head. "Where?"
"With Lelouch. You can get your own spies to infiltrate your brother's little sick projects. I'm done. I've constant headaches and it makes me weak lying in bed for so long. I'm going. If I cannot protect him from himself, then I will do the next best thing."
"Marianne, you cannot be serious." He reached out again, and she swatted his hand away.
"Do not fucking touch me right now." She huffed and rolled away. "Have a guard tell Lelouch he can leave tomorrow, so he doesn't try something stupid like run away with his guards in the middle of the night to protect them from you."
"You're going as well?" he asked quietly.
She sighed. "I'll wait a few days. He needs the time to sort things out with his friends, and they'll stress too much if they think I'm watching."
"Are you-Are you coming to bed tonight?"
She rolled her eyes. "I am. You're sleeping on the couch. By the way, did you have to tell him that you geassed me? He's now got all sorts of wrong notions in his mind. He didn't have to know that."
Charles pinched his nose. "I did not intend, but his geass irritatingly compels the truth. Unfortunately, it is not reliant on wording as much as I hoped."
She blinked. Then again. "You let Lelouch geass you?"
"He can only use it once, and..." He shrugged. "He was desperate enough to try using it on me first thing, not having even tested it. I thought it would help him."
Author's Note:
Code bearers got a powerup because it's way more fun to lean into the mysticism. In less fun developments, Lelouch's chronic depression has taken a turn for the worse. :( I've been hinting at Ragnarok being scrapped since the end of book 1. I finally officially took it out back and shot it for being the lazy world ending plot it is.
Anyway, we've got a brilliant new cover made by the wonderful Lily.
And Jarod, who you may recognize as a beta of mine, convinced me to write a new fic, Lifting the Veil where Charles announces Lelouch as the heir to the throne.
I'm also trying to run an art/fic writing Secret Santa for Code Geass this year to encourage some more content. For those who are interested, check out the discord for more info. :)
Chat with me on the discord: discord . gg / uSBegVj