Recap: Having learnt the truth of geass, Lelouch spirals, and his parents allow him to return to the division, hoping it will help him. Nunnally encountered an abnormal attacker.
Chapter 45: To Hold a Symbol or a Friend
In the opening gallery of the capitol stands a thirty foot tall statue of Emperor Lelouch—erected decades after his death. During his lifetime, Emperor Lelouch was notably against idolatry, refusing to stand for state portraits or fund proposals which used his image. He also declined to reissue the currency with his image, instead opting for famous landmarks from various territories. Despite being politically unpopular, he moved all portraits of past rulers from the palace to the National Museum. Yet, a century later, we have his image towering over every visitor who enters the capitol. Contrary to his wishes, we have deified the man and now reap the consequences as nationalists co-opt his image for their own political intentions without any regard for historical nuance or even his personal beliefs. Ironically, the leftists and Emperor Lelouch would be in agreement: the statues must go.
Statues and related symbols are intended to express our current political and cultural beliefs, but we have long since outgrown that era. Britannian history is contentious, and while Emperor Lelouch is credited for numerous reforms, he is a product of his time. His glorification has resulted in an inadequate interrogation of his rule thus neglecting the lives and voices of those who live in the territories he conquered. For all that he was a savior to many, he was a demon to others.
—Gods and Symbols: the Deification of Emperor Lelouch by Charles Heuberger
Imperial Palace, Pendragon
Marianne woke groggily, habitually seeking Charles's warmth before realizing that she had banished him from her bed for the night. Irritated, she rolled over and stared at the ceiling in despair. Her son... and her sister had climbed up to the roof. How could they be so cavalier with their lives? Didn't they see how much they had to live for? How many people loved them?
Why did she only make everything worse? If she was better, stronger, something, then none of this would be happening. Her family would be together, safe and sound.
With a grunt, she shifted to the edge of the bed and lowered herself into the wheelchair. Beyond the door, she could hear Charles quietly conversing with a guard, his voice rising in frustration.
Was it Lelouch?
Hurriedly, she rolled forward, pushing her way through the door and staring at the disheveled guard trying to explain himself. "What happened? Is he alright?"
Charles raised his hand in a calming gesture. "He's fine. Henry would've notified me if he had left his rooms."
She crossed her arms. "Then what is this?"
Sighing, he dismissed the guard and collapsed into an armchair. "Your sister left."
"What?"
"Apparently"—he groaned, waving his hand absently—"she found some blond hair dye and managed to slip through a break in the guards... because I had not called any of my agents tonight."
"Lelouch," Marianne realized.
"That boy—" Charles scowled.
"You have to find her! She can't go out there. V.V. will hurt her. Why aren't you doing anything? Why didn't you wake me?" Marianne paused, realization dawning as her geass itched. "I can find her. I can make her come back."
"She won't be returning."
Her hand shot up, covering her mouth. "Charles... She's my sister!"
"And a security threat."
"You can't kill her!"
His face twisted. "I should, but I have not given the order. She saved Lelouch's life, and for that, I will not pursue her."
"You can't—" Marianne bit her tongue. "And V.V.? He's going to come down and snatch her right up. She's not safe out there. She likes Nunnally. If you had made her feel more welcome—"
"You told me she had a child. Do you think she'll abandon him because you shower her in luxury?"
Marianne's shoulders rose defensively. "Then find him! I promised her and he's your nephew too! He doesn't deserve to be under V.V.'s thumb."
"He is no nephew of mine." Charles glared at her. "And what if we found him? Think, Marianne. His mother is a member of the Geass Order. He is their agent. Chances are that he has a contract with V.V. Nothing we could do would save him. The best I could do is geass your sister into forgetting him. My geass can't interfere with a contract."
"You can't geass her," Marianne protested, horrified.
"It would perhaps be best for her. She has suffered. You could take that pain away."
"No." She shook her head firmly. "I will not allow that."
Unsurprised, Charles rose. "Then she won't return. You meanwhile have a spy who is ideally placed next to V.V., supposing he does not kill her first."
"I won't," she whispered. She already regretted using it on her, even if she hadn't realized exactly who she was. She would compound her mistakes by taking her sister's body hostage.
"I hope you do not regret that mistake," Charles said and swept out of the room.
En Route to Area Eleven
As the plane hit a patch of turbulence, Kallen's stomach rolled and she rushed out of her seat, past Prince Lelouch—who had been blankly staring out the window for the last half hour, his half-finished paperwork forgotten—, past Frederick who was carving a goose with his left hand, past Henry who was glaring at the flight attendant. And into the bathroom.
The door failed to latch behind her, and she turned, half to fix it, before spinning around and gasping over the sink. Her stomach lurched painfully before settling again. Stupid, painkillers. The Emperor had ordered her shot!
Shrugging off her coat, she examined her bandaged arm.
Nothing had prepared her for the Emperor's casual cruelty.
How Lelouch had struggled in the Imperial Guard's grip as he begged for mercy on their behalf. How he had tried to take the blame, relieve them of their punishment. How in the end, he had turned his head in shame as they were shot.
She had thought she was going to die. That they had discovered her ties to the JLF.
But no. The Emperor had punished them for Prince Lelouch's failures. Because he had gone off and gotten shot. When Frederick demanded that she accompany them to return to Lelouch's side, she had never imagined this would be the result.
Wasn't a father supposed to love their son? Not whatever that had been.
If she ever needed any proof that the Emperor was an utter monster, she had it. Now, she knew why Lelouch was so utterly terrified of that man. His actions in the depth of the OSI base no longer felt extreme. At least she and Frederick had value. The Emperor could easily have killed Nunnally's friends. Tortured them to death.
She gripped the edge of the sink, knuckles turning white, and forced her breath to calm.
She had survived. For now, that was enough. Excepit it wasn't, couldn't be. Because she had heard the Emperor through her panicked daze. The next time, it would be a thousand men.
"Hey," Frederick interrupted. "Are you okay?"
"We got shot," she snapped. She half stepped out of the bathroom, staring at Lelouch who resembled a corpse far too much for comfort. "And he's like that!"
"I know." Frederick leaned against the wall tiredly. "How is your arm?"
She rubbed it absently. "I know he tried, but I would feel better if a real doctor took a look."
"We'll be back with the division soon enough," Frederick assured her. His gaze traveled to Lelouch. "At least the Emperor allowed him that small comfort."
"His comfort? What about us? We got shot because of him!"
He stared at her, his expression unreadable. "Is that how you feel?"
Her anger vanished, replaced with despair. "No. I wish I could be angry... but it's not his fault. The Emperor has all the power."
To punish, to kill, to rule.
What good had he ever done with it? Given only scraps, Lelouch had built the division and offered people a chance at a life. He could be an asshole, was one undoubtedly, but he tried all the time and near him, she could believe it was possible. That Britannia could change.
But—
"Is he going to be fine?" she asked.
The spark within Lelouch had vanished. He had scarcely talked to them in the past few days, wallowing in his misery. They needed him. And she wanted him to succeed. For him to grow in influence, for him to help more people. For him to be a prince that for once actually served the people within his nation instead of those with the deepest pockets.
He couldn't waste time, not when the dreaded day would eventually come where Kaguya would ask her to betray him. She hated the thought. His burden was already large enough; she didn't need to add to it by stabbing him in the back.
"I don't think so," Frederick whispered. "It's never been this bad."
"But—" That was not the answer she wanted. "What are we to do now? We're supposed to protect him."
He huffed. "I'm glad that you're taking duty seriously, but we can't protect him from this, from the Emperor. The only way it will change is if Lelouch pleases him even more... or the Emperor dies."
"That's dangerous talk."
"It's the truth. I will be by his side whichever path he chooses. He needs every bit of help he can get."
Kallen bit her tongue. "So he needs to please the Emperor..."
"Yeah," Frederick said sadly. "And this time, it means taking over General Cornelia's duties in Area Fifteen. He is going to be a conqueror. It won't help."
"Something has to change."
"Have faith in him, Kallen. He will overcome this because he must."
"That's... sad." But he was right.
Lelouch had to overcome this. He couldn't allow the Emperor to win. He had to push through and protect his division. They were all depending on him. They couldn't afford to let their leader falter.
"We have to protect him from himself," she reminded him. throwing his words back from when he invited her to his royal guard. "Are you going to just stand by?"
His face twisted. "What am I supposed to do, Kallen? I don't know how to help. Lelouch's problems have problems."
Frustrated anger grew inside her, and she abruptly pushed past him. "At least I am willing to try."
"Kallen," he protested, hand brushing over her shoulder. Sighing, he let her go.
She stopped by Lelouch's seat, waiting for him to acknowledge her. For him to say anything as he stared out the window, consumed by his own thoughts. She wanted him to turn around, for his back to straighten, for him to rise up to the challenge because that was who he was. She might have not been with him since the beginning, but she believed in the division's judgment, and they believed in him.
He had overcome all obstacles before; he would succeed once more.
The plane jostled, and she gripped the edge of his chair to steady herself. She was not taking her next dose of painkillers. Not only was she nauseous, her balance was now shit.
"Is your plan to stand there until the next patch of turbulence hits and then fall into my lap?" Lelouch asked dryly.
Her face warmed, remembering the scandalous words she had uttered. "I didn't mean it like that—"
He didn't respond, tiredly picking up his pen, and resumed working on his paperwork.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" she hissed.
Of course not. Because after his initial panic upon seeing them hurt, he had shut down. Maybe he would run off and audition for the latest Empress Elizabeth vs Zombies movie. He sure as hell had the disposition right now.
What was she to do? Frederick was right. This was pointless. It was the Emperor that he was up against. She thought they had a chance, but he was an unsurpassable mountain in their path. He sat on the throne because he would always win; the day he didn't, a new Emperor would sit on the throne, even more ruthless and absolute than the last.
Except—
No. She refused. Even when she believed she was being arrested for treason, she didn't regret it. But while she would fight on her own, she realized she didn't want to. Kaguya had been wonderful for merely being another sane voice in the insanity of Britannian nobility. But it was lonely, them against the entire world, not a single friendly face to see.
The division was thousands of friendly faces. And Lelouch was like a north star, unyielding as he brought hope to them that there was a path forward.
Biting her lip, she knelt.
"Kallen, what—" Lelouch shook his head. "Go sit down. You do not have to worry. I will file the paperwork to honorably release you from my service tomorrow."
Her hands curled. "I refuse."
"You were shot because of me. This was a mistake—"
"I am a Knight of the Round," she said. "Or I will be. Do you think I wish to serve under a man who is so willing to abuse the loyalties of those who have dutifully served him?"
"I'll ask Odysseus to help you," he mumbled.
She was losing him again. "Japan is dead."
He jerked, mouth opening to reply.
She cut him off, protocol be damned. "Japan is dead. It's never coming back." She knew that, yet the words were a dagger to her heart. "I miss it, but even if Britannia vanished tomorrow, Japan would still be dead. Nothing can bring it back. The damage has already been done. We can only make something new. I want to be with my brothers without shame and fearing it will be taken the wrong way. I want to hug my mother and welcome her into my life. You gave me my brothers back. You cannot stop here. There is so much more that you can do."
"Yet my actions strengthen Britannia's hold, exterminate whatever chance people had to force change and will now condemn countries to share in Japan's fate." He leaned back in his seat, his voice devoid of strength. "In the end, everything serves the Emperor, the world he envisions. Nothing we do will change that. This is what Britannia is and always will be, and I have been too much of a fool to accept it."
"The Emperor will die," she dared to whisper. She had already told him that she loved Japan. Her treasonous ideas were apparent, but then everyone in the division seemed to hold some of those. "And like I said, I will be a Knight of the Round. I will be your sword. You have brought so many of us hope, you have a duty to see it through. We've gone too far."
"Don't say—" He glanced at Henry irately.
"It is true." She met his eyes challengingly. "Let me help you make such dreams a reality."
And to her horror, she realized she meant every word. She would serve him faithfully as long and as best as she could. There were only two people she trusted to change the world: Kaguya and Lelouch. Already, she dreaded when the day would come to stick a knife in his back. If it didn't kill him, it would certainly break him. She had to have faith Kaguya would only issue such a command if he proved himself unwilling to negotiate or the monster she suspected him of first being.
She swallowed. They were both fledgling monsters. To succeed in Britannia meant becoming one. Maybe Kaguya would order her death instead first. When would they finally go too far?
He laughed, a cold, ugly scratchy thing. "You mean for me to sit on the throne? Do you think that will fix anything? Change the people I have killed? All those that I will kill?" His voice rose, gaining a frantic edge. "Because I will go to Area Fifteen and pacify it as my dear father commands. But that is just the beginning. The toppings on a project I set forth. Next we will head a bit to the west. Bring down a struggling democracy that never managed to shake off the chains of the European's colonialism.
"And do you think the new soldiers under my command will care to listen to me? I am just an upstart, sheltered, little prince who knows nothing of war. They will engage in plunder and rape. And I will punish them for it, earning me even more enemies because certain things I will never allow no matter how beneficial it would be for me. But it does not matter because it will do nothing to give back the people's dignity. What do they care that I deliver justice? I cannot bring back the dead!"
"Then what are you going to do about it!" she snapped. "You are a prince!"
"I am my father's tool!"
"You're human," Frederick interrupted softly. She hadn't even noticed him approach, too caught up in Lelouch's fire briefly flaring to light.
Collapsing back into his seat, Lelouch stared at her. "Yes, I am a prince. It does not matter how much I wish it otherwise. I am too skilled at what I do. I will only make the situation worse."
"But you will be able to change things," she pushed urgently. He needed to understand. If he could do nothing, then what were the rest of them supposed to do? What would the future of Japan look like if one of the Emperor's ambitious sons claimed the throne? They would drain the land dry. As much as she hated to admit it, Emperor Charles at least sought to conserve their sakuradite. "You may not be able to act substantially now because he is the Emperor, but if you sat on the throne, no one would be able to stop you."
He scoffed. "Let me tell you an unfortunate truth about reformers. They almost end up dead and defiled in the streets. And afterwards? The nobles rise, eager to reclaim their lost power. They undo anything you might have accomplished. The Emperor is an extension of who the country is, and Britannia is rotten."
"Then don't," Frederick interrupted, pushing past her and pressing the carved goose in his hands. The wings were spread in flight. "We could leave."
"Your family—" he protested.
Frederick squeezed his eyes shut. "If you die, their fate would hardly change than if we left."
Guilt flickered across his face, and Lelouch hung his head. "I never meant—Why? You should leave, live your own life. If we were caught—"
"Then at least you tried," Frederick said. "And perhaps would have a few months to experience what freedom actually is. I want you to know it at least."
Horrified, Kallen shot to her feet and shook her head. "You can't just leave!"
"Of course he can," Frederick said. "Roy would be more than willing to help you stowaway on a boat. There are millions of containers. They would never find you."
This was insanity! The Emperor had threatened to punish thousands for Lelouch's infractions. He would not take the disappearance of his son rationally. His mother would tear the world apart in pursuit. And the rest of them would be dragged in, interrogated for any details, or be killed in the Emperor's rage.
The Emperor hadn't even seemed angry when he ordered them shot. Irritated, maybe. But anger? She had a feeling the world would not survive his wrath.
And whatever fucked up relationship there was between the Emperor and Lelouch... Lelouch was favored. He had hung up on the Emperor and lived to tell the tale. He had broken the most important rule in the royal family and killed Clovis. And the Emperor only punished her and Frederick because Lelouch had gotten shot.
"The Emperor is terrified of losing you," she realized. "What would happen if he lost you for real?"
"He would deserve it," Lelouch said darkly. "But it doesn't matter. We would be caught near immediately by Britannian intelligence."
"Wear a dress," Frederick suggested, his tone lightening.. "They'd be looking for two men, not a brother looking after his frail sister."
Lelouch eyed him indignantly. "I'm not frail!"
"Sure, Mr. I'm-out-of-breath-running-a-mile."
"I don't like running," he grumbled, but a flicker of a smile teased at the edge of his lips. "Why don't you pretend to be a girl?"
"Nobody would believe it."
Kallen barely resisted the urge to lean forward and slap the idiocy out of him. "You can't run off!"
"Sure, he can," Frederick said. "We'd be caught eventually. I'd definitely be dead. But we can. After all, he owes you nothing. How's it fair that everyone can keep demanding and demanding, giving nothing in return?"
"We got shot because of him," she reminded him. If he left, all of this would be for nothing.
"Not because of him!" Frederick roared with sudden fury. "Because of the Emperor. Because he expects things, just like everyone else. Everyone is always demanding, always pushing. Why the fuck should he save your Japan for you? Maybe for once, people can do things for their fucking selves instead of needing someoene to save you."
"Enough," Lelouch cut in. "It's not like she understands. She's barely been here."
Frederick crossed his arms and glared. "Then let's leave. Head to Australia. Actually take the time to find out what you want instead of everyone else."
"What of Naoto?" Lelouch asked, cocking his head. "You were growing closer."
"I'd miss him, but there will be others. That is the beauty of life: it is always changing with ever more to discover and explore." Frederick grew quieter, sadder. "Please, Lelouch. You are my friend—"
"You said we couldn't be."
"I was an idiot. It's why it hurt so much that you used me like that. But Carine would've done it without hesitation. She wouldn't have even bothered to try and make sure I got out alive."
Kallen stared at them blankly, utterly lost.
Frederick continued seriously, "You're not a tool, nor a piece. You're not Lelouch vi Britannia. Or even Lelouch Lamperouge."
Snorting, Kallen crossed her arms. "He's a prince. A near perfect one in the Emperor's eyes because I bet he wouldn't even give a rat's shit if his other kids got shot. As Clovis clearly shows."
"Thank you, Stadtfeld," Frederick snarked. "Your input is truly appreciated."
"Oh, you mean we're supposed to ignore how interested the Emperor is in him personally. How invested he is? Because I saw how much the Emperor and Prince Schneizel were avoiding each other at the opening of the season. And Prince Odysseus is a dish towel. Zero does the impossible, and now His Highness will do the same. Perhaps the Emperor is so pissed about him getting shot because he is the fucking heir."
"I told him I didn't want the throne," Lelouch snapped.
She threw her hands into the air. "I don't understand you! So you'll just follow his orders for nothing? You could change everything. Give it a few years with some military victories under your belt and you'll be the perfect poster prince for Britannia."
He abruptly pulled up sleeves revealing his wrists and the faint white scars circling it. "Perfect prince? They're not scarred. I also failed at being a proper, honorable Britannian who says nothing and silently bears it. I said everything and anything I could to stay alive. And even if I became the Emperor, I would achieve nothing. My mother is a commoner. The nobility will oppose me on principle and without them, Britannia would quickly be bankrupt. I can't just force everyone..."
She stared at his wrists. Torture, she had known. But something about the scars, proof, here and now, was deeply unsettling.
"How old were you?" Kallen asked quietly. "When you were tortured?"
Hurriedly, he pulled down his sleeves. "I wasn't tortured. I didn't even lose a fingernail, unless you call being tied up torture."
To her side, Frederick discreetly shook his head.
"I don't need your pity, Kallen," Lelouch said. "I failed. It's in the past. The Count is dead—"
"—and you still have nightmares," she finished for him. "I haven't seen you sleep at all since the Emperor— Or eat..."
"I'm fine," Lelouch mumbled.
Her heart began to race, but she forced herself to meet his eyes. "Would it help if I sat next to you... like on our last flight to Japan—Area Eleven?"
"But I—"
"You're not going to be useful if you're sleep deprived."
Frederick cuffed her on the head, then held out an apple. "What she means is that you either eat and sleep, or I will call your mother and tell her you're thrilled for your next movie night."
Grimacing, Lelouch took a bite from the apple. "Kallen... are you really fine with this?"
She would be much better if Empress Marianne's offer would leave her head. Or if she hadn't just told him he was hot while high.
Face burning, she turned around, grabbed a pillow, and threw herself into the neighboring seat before he could protest. Or she would lose her courage.
"I can do it," Frederick offered.
"Just switch with me later," she said. "Else, I'll lose my arm."
He nodded, his expression softening, and he turned to Lelouch. "The offer is still open. We'll find a way for you to actually live for once. Your father can't take everything from you, especially not who you are."
Lelouch laughed darkly.
"You're not alone," Kallen said. "Sometimes we need other people to help us, to show us the way, or to trust that they say when we go too far." Her tongue grew heavy. She felt like she had gone too far; she killed for Britannia, and now she was offering a prince comfort. Except Kaguya still had faith in her. "I might not understand how a prince ends up enlisting or tortured—"
"It wasn't."
She glared. "Then explain it to me because how can I help if I don't know you?"
His face soured before drifting into contemplation.
"Remind me, in case I forget," he asked, and his hand reached for hers. "It started in Japan. I knew Britannia would invade. My parents discussed it before her injury, before we were sent there. They took it as a gesture of trust. If I had warned them, maybe..."
Frederick shifted forward, taking the opposing seat, his eyes drawn together in rapt attention. This was new to him as well.
Shakily, he continued, a story of shattered trust, of seeing more than any child should. She could smell the corpses as he recounted the invasion. She imagined the ash and charred flesh as they cleaned up after Truro. How had anyone allowed him in such danger? He could've died, had been convinced on multiple occasions that he would.
"The food was drugged," Lelouch said quietly. Her arm had long since gone numb. "I don't blame them, not really. We fired on civilians. And so he took me to the Count. I said whatever I needed to survive. I tore up my own wrists trying to escape. Then Art decided she had gone too far and let me out. I became Zero and killed her."
There was a mountain of implications between his words, yet he said nothing more, curling up on himself as he finally drifted off to sleep. Her chest tightened painfully. Maybe, Frederick was right. Maybe, he did deserve to go off and simply be himself.
How was she ever supposed to betray him?
Viceroy Palace, Area Eleven
While Nunnally couldn't read the letter—the proclamation—she ran her fingers over the gilded edges anyway. She was to be the sub-viceroy of Area Eleven. It was more than she had ever dared to hope for. She was the sub-viceroy.
Sure, the position was new and unprecedented. The Viceroy traditionally had singular absolute power, but she would find some agreement with Cornelia, even if Nunnally had to whack her with her cane until Cornelia realized that she was capable and didn't need to be babied.
This appointment was a challenge from her father. He would be watching her to see how far she would go. It being a challenge, he would give her nothing. She would have to fight for every scrap of power. But eventually, Cornelia would return to the battlefield, to what she was born to do. And then someone would have to run Area Eleven.
By then, Nunnally needed to be the only plausible option.
Japan was hers at last.
She ran her finger across the slight embossing and then to the wax from her father's seal. She had thought it would go to Lelouch. Hopefully, he had done nothing to earn their father's ire. Hopefully, he was being offered the break he needed.
Zero had killed Clovis...
A bitter tang flooded her mouth, and she forced her uncertainties aside. Her brother was strong; he would come out of this in an even stronger position than her. It was a shame. For once, she would like to say she was protecting him.
The door opened and Allie stepped inside, her footsteps tepid. "I look ridiculous."
"I can't judge, but I am sure you're fine," Nunnally reassured her. "Schneizel did send one of his stylists. There is no way he is risking his reputation by dressing you in anything less than the best."
"It's not me," Allie whined. "It feels like water. Who dresses in water? I wouldn't even notice if I was naked."
"You're being dramatic."
"My mom is going to kill me," she whispered theatrically. "Why is there so much skin? It's worse than when Milly tried to design the academy uniforms."
Nunnally hid her grin behind her hand. "It's just one night."
"Ugh. I can't believe I'm doing this. And I thought you weren't supposed to be with me until the big ceremony?"
"I can't see you."
"Well, I doubt we're supposed to talk either."
Laughing, Nunnally stood and tucked the letter into her small bag. "Then I'll give the task of checking on you to Nina and leave you to the tender mercies of Cornelia."
"Nunnally!" Allie cried. "No. Don't go! Your sister is going to kill me!"
"Don't worry. She glares at everyone from what I hear."
"No. She does not." Allie groaned. "The Emperor better not show up. I'll faint."
"He has better things to do," Nunnally assured her. "I'm hoping Lelouch makes it though. He's been far too quiet lately."
"Zero killed Clovis," Allie whispered.
She squeezed her eyes shut. "Let's not talk about this, please."
"He's fine," Allie whispered, pulling her into a hug. "He'll come. You could ask your mother to drag him along?"
"She won't make it." Nunnally stepped away, hardening her heart. "I'll see you in a week, Allie."
"Ugh. I'm going to die of boredom... or hypothermia. It's winter and this is a swimsuit."
Chuckling, she stepped out of the room and closed the door. Allie would be fine. She was cloistered as was customary, and no one could feasibly blame her if anything went wrong. Nunnally would be innocent as well, after all she had her father's guards, even if they had been useless in Babel Tower.
"Nunnally," Nina greeted her in one of the sitting rooms near the visitor areas.
"Do you have it?"
"Yes," Nina pressed a small cylinder into her hand. "Do be careful with that. It's really painful."
"And?" Nunnally asked.
Nina withdrew, hesitant.
Pressing her advantage, Nunnally ran her fingers up her arms, to her neck and leaned forward to kiss her. "You're amazing, you know that. It's fine. You're looking at the sub-viceroy of Area Eleven."
"What is that?"
Nunnally finally found her lips. "It means I'm going to be the Viceroy soon, as long as I'm moderately competent." She inhaled, savoring the scent of the labs. "You could work for me. I am about to have a lot of discretionary funds for research and development, and there is a fascinating little project Schneizel is asking me to keep an eye on while he's out of the country."
"But I'm only—"
"You're brilliant." She tilted her head, avoiding the sharp corners of Nina's glasses. "I don't want to rely on my guards entirely. You know how it is. I swear, I'll only use it as an emergency."
Finally, Nina broke away and pressed another canister into her hand. "Try not to breathe it in. They won't be able to see for a short while." Another canister followed. "And this is a flash grenade. It should be less dangerous... I'm not sure— I'm not supposed to, well, you know—"
"You love me, right?" Nunnally demanded and caught her hand. "It's fine. Who would even get you into trouble? I am the ultimate legal authority—well, technically Cornelia, but she doesn't like mundane administrative tasks. She's going to be cleaning up terrorists and leaving such menial work to me."
Or so Nunnally desperately hoped. Having her older half-sister constantly hovering over her shoulder, second guessing her and undermining her would be a catastrophe.
A small slender piece of cold, engraved metal snapped around her wrist. Nina's fingers guided her hand to a small delicate notch. "To the left, it'll release a charge after five seconds. Be careful to not touch the surface then."
"This is—" Nunnally whispered, amazed.
"And to the right—" Nina flicked the switch. The bracelet expanded over her hand with slimy coolness, tight like a glove before becoming firm, locking her hand into a ridge. "—is a prototype. Point this way and press here."
Her hand lurched backwards, fingers bruised, and a deafening crack rang in her ears.
"Your Highness!"
"I'm fine! We knocked over a vase."
Nina squeaked, and the guard paused outside the door. "Your Highness?"
"Give us a few minutes to get proper?"
"Nunnally," Nina hissed, scandalized.
"You don't get to complain. You fired a gun!"
"It's technically not a gun."
"Something exploded. It's a gun."
"It's— Nevermind." She slowly pushed her hand closer to her. "You can also use it as a knife."
Finding another small knob, she disengaged the device as a smile threatened to split her face. "Nina, you're amazing. Is this what you've been working on in Camelot? Can you make one that reads for me?" She giggled. "Nobody will ever expect this. Who knows about this?"
"They wanted to reconfigure the weapon system for knightmares, but—" She fell quiet. "You don't think it's stupid for personal use?"
Nunnally snorted. "If you make me a shield like what I hear of Schneizel's Avalon... although I suppose it is going to be Odysseus's ship now. Well, with a personal shield, the Emperor would induct you into his private researchers." She grew quiet. "Can you try, but wait before showing others? I don't want him taking you away from me."
"Is it really that special?" Nina asked. "They thought my ideas were stupid, even making synthetic sakuradite. Said it was too expensive to run the tests, but I know it can be done."
"I'm getting you a lab," Nunnally declared. They were idiots to discard her girlfriend's ideas. Weapons that no one would suspect. A shield to protect her from assassination attempts. She needed to make sure Lelouch would get one. He would inevitably need it more than her.
Her girlfriend... and Nunnally would be a fool to let her get away to be snatched up by some enterprising noble who was marginally more open minded than average.
"I've got to go," Nunnally whispered, leaning in again for a kiss. "But we should talk more tomorrow. I'll get you whatever you need, I promise."
Reluctantly, she withdrew and left the room. The guard's breath hitched, and she wondered what he thought? Did he know that she lied? Or was his imagination running wild?
Dutifully, he fell into step behind her as Nunnally entered the more public sectors. Her cane gingerly tapped along the floors, and she listened carefully for any hint of the unusual, for a break in the normal rhythm of noise. Perhaps she should ask Nina for a new cane. Maybe one that could amplify sounds, click more clearly so she could better detect when people moved closer.
"Call him out, please," Nunnally ordered.
She could not fathom him as her enemy. They had known each other for so long. He had helped her. But she was not enough of a fool to trust that sentiment and enter the ground which he had time to prepare. Besides, she needed to confirm her suspicions.
Careful footsteps approached. Normally, they had a dull thud to them as they crossed the wooden floors of Ashford. But here in the palace, it was unmistakable. He was the one who attacked her in Babel Tower.
"Hello, Rolando," Nunnally greeted. "I apologize for not recognizing you the other day immediately."
The world fell silent once more, a strange lethargy pressing down on her. The cool metal of one of the cylinders Nina gave her pressed into her hand.
"What were you trying to accomplish? If you wanted to kill me, you had plenty of opportunity with my guards out of commision. Who asked you to spy on me?"
He grunted, his breaths turning pained. "How are you—"
"You suck at P.E." Nunnally approached him, ready to act. "Nobody can fake breathing like that. So, who sends a spy that is so frail... And what is this technology?"
"I won't—"
"The effect faltered last time when I struck you." She bared her teeth, hoisting her cane. "So... I could hit harder this time. This time, you aren't taking me by surprise. How fast do you think the Emperor's guards move when I claim there is an assassin? I think the Emperor would at least be most interested in my testimony of this technology."
"I can't tell you," he whispered.
"You should reconsider. Did you know who I was before our little fiasco with the OSI?"
"No."
"Then your employer knew. I wasn't important enough for the Europeans or the Chinese. They would've tried ransoming me, not spying, if anything. So Britannian."
Noise rushed in for a heartbeat as his breaths accelerated, growing frantic. "He'll—I'm not—Why are you—"
"Show me," she demanded, grabbing his arm. It was pitifully frail. She could break it with no effort, yet he had an advantage that disabled everyone but her. "I will kill you, Rolando, if that even is your name. And no one will care because I am royalty, and you are nothing."
He whimpered. "I'm sorry. I wasn't really going to hurt you, but— Please..."
"Why then?"
"Needed a blood sample. Please. Can't hold it much longer."
"How are you doing it? Who are you?"
"I can't say, please."
"Not good enough."
"A meeting," he begged. "You can meet him. Please, he'll kill me if I say anything."
She released his arm and took a step back. "Go then. And don't think of trying anything. I have ways of making sure other people know if I'm incapacitated."
He didn't wait, his footsteps pounding against the floor as he fled. The strange feeling passed and the guards jerked, mumbling in confusion.
"Is everything alright?" she asked, tilting her head and widening her eyes—the picture of innocence, or so she was told.
712th Division, Area Eleven
"You're alive," Roy greeted him with overwhelming relief, and a wave of guilt crashed into Lelouch. He had friends who had invested so much time and energy believing in him.
But he just... couldn't. He had been foolish to think he could ever accomplish anything. His father's rule was absolute, not even geass could upset the balance.
Yet, he accepted Roy's welcoming clap and winced as his friend stared at Frederick for an explanation.
"It's good that you are back. Hopefully, you can put some rumors to rest. I don't know where it started, but there's a rumor that Prince Lelouch will be taking our division among others to Area Fifteen. People aren't pleased."
Lelouch shook his head. "Frederick and Kallen need to see Lieutenant Colonel Tamay."
"Lelouch..." Roy growled. "Don't do this. You disappeared without a word. You never answered any of my calls. I feared that the worst had come to pass. That the Emperor—"
Lelouch deflated. "Henry, take Kallen to the sick call. Frederick will go once you come back."
Her lips tightened angrily, but something about Roy's presence seemed to comfort her. She had been scared of him before. Now... Lelouch's and her relationship might have changed after witnessing his father's punishment. But instead of becoming disgusted with him for his inability to protect them, she drew closer, offered comfort.
He didn't trust her yet, not really, but she had listened. She stayed. It would be better if all of them left.
They would see that now.
"Can you get Pablo and Alex as well?" Lelouch asked quietly as they walked to his office. He didn't need to ask for Art, he was already standing to the right of the door.
His office smelled stale, and he ran his finger over the desk and the abandoned piles of paperwork. They had been disturbed, undoubtedly by Roy who had picked up the slack in his absence. The door shut as Pablo entered behind Alex.
"You look like shit," Pablo said.
Lelouch grimaced. He hated their concern. He didn't deserve it.
"Why is he here?" Pablo asked pointedly, looking at Art. "Whatever happened, you don't need him right now."
"He needs to know." Because Lelouch made a promise to tell him the truth, to hide nothing, and he was now sitting on the greatest secret of them all.
Frederick pulled out a chair, gingerly taking a seat as he rubbed his arm.
"Why is Kallen injured? And Frederick too?" Roy demanded.
Lelouch fell into his seat, not finding the words to explain. In the end, the circumstances didn't really matter. They had gotten shot because of him. "I messed up."
Frederick glared, half rising from his seat. "The Emperor ordered us shot to teach him a lesson."
Pablo's face paled, mirroring both Alex and Roy's horrified expression. Lelouch turned away, not needing to see their reaction to his failure. He should've been better. Only Art wasn't surprised.
"Was it because you killed Clovis?" Art asked.
"Don't say it like that," Alex hissed.
"It's the truth, and half why the division is nearly up in arms. Because they think you finally betrayed Britannia and disappeared for it."
"That's not—" Roy protested.
"It's something we have to deal with," Art said, regarding Roy with suspicion. "Barely anyone here believes the Emperor would order the execution of his own son. That would be too cruel, even for him. "
"He did," Lelouch said dully. And he had fallen to the ground, his head bouncing off the floor. "He had stumbled across one of the Emperor's secrets and he died for it."
Lelouch doubted that his father cared at all that Clovis put innocents on the surgical table. That he carved bodies for his own pleasure. That he abused the people he was tasked with protecting in pursuit of knowledge, of immortality. His father hadn't hesitated to offer up prisoners to test Lelouch's geass. They had been mutilated because of him.
"You know," Art realized. "But he let you live."
Because his father loved him. He buried his head in his hands, fighting down the rising nausea. He didn't want this, any of this. Maybe he should reconsider Frederick's offer. Disappear like a leaf on the wind. Let the world continue without him. It would spin regardless as he plunged into eternal darkness.
If immortals existed, was there an afterlife?
"If you—" Lelouch squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on steadying his voice. He could be strong, just for now. Frederick had asked him to try, to find who he was. There had to be memories his father could not claim. He and Kallen knew his past. If Lelouch fell victim to his father's geass, they could perhaps get through to him. Could he write himself a note? In a place he would always find it? To tell him to seek them out for the truth? "If you don't want to know, the door is right there. The Emperor will kill you for possessing this knowledge. Nothing can ever hint that you even suspect, and don't say anything to Henry."
"Traitor," Roy grumbled uncharitably.
Yes, but through no fault of his own.
"I'm already dead," Art quipped, eliciting scoffs from the others and lightening the mood.
Lelouch nodded, feeling the warmth of his geass rising. His eyes locked onto Roy. "Spin around three times while whistling the national anthem."
The others stared at him in befuddlement, their expressions turning to shock as Roy followed his commands without hesitation. His whistling was atrocious, as always.
"What?" Roy asked when he finished, raising an eyebrow. He looked down, inspecting his coat. "Did I spill coffee?"
"Lelouch..." Art's voice quavered. "What was that?"
"Geass. Britannia's most well guarded secret and the power behind the throne." His lips quirked. "If my father is to be believed, Napoleon had one as well although it could be a fabrication to justify our pitiful loss."
"But it's a myth," Pablo mumbled.
"Can someone explain? Roy begged, his voice rising. "What happened?"
"I can give one order which must be followed absolutely, with no exception," Lelouch whispered, bracing himself for their hatred.
Roy scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous."
"Your whistling sucks," Alex said dryly.
"I didn't—"
"Unless ordered otherwise, people under its influence don't seem to remember," Lelouch explained, "With a few words, I can make a man betray his best friend, and not remember anything when he breaks out of his daze and finds him dead."
"That's... abhorrent," Roy said.
Lelouch winced "Yes."
"You said one order," Pablo cut in. "So Roy is safe now?"
"From mine, yes," Lelouch confirmed. He let his geass flare again, holding back the command as they looked at him and then focused on Roy again. "Laugh like I said something hilarious."
"Fuck you, Lelouch," Roy said. He shuddered. "Your eyes look off when you do that. It's like a bird or so."
Interesting.
"I would like to order each one of you to do something inconsequential," Lelouch offered. "That way, you'll be immune to mine."
Art stepped forward first, and Lelouch made him do a small jig. As the others laughed cruelly at his embarrassing attempt, he felt a small spike of pleasure. Art had captured him, hurt him. Now, he was under his control.
The geass ended, and Art stepped back.
Frederick was next, and Lelouch asked him to pick up a pen.
"Really?" he asked as he looked down at his hands. "And here I was wondering if I could do a handstand."
Lelouch rolled his eyes, smiling fondly.
Expectantly, he stared at Alex and Pablo, not missing the latter's flinch.
Alex studied his feet. "I can't... I messed up, Lelouch. I betrayed your trust. Wouldn't it be better to make sure I'm loyal? What if I do it again?"
"No!" Lelouch shot out of his seat, leaning across the table. "I don't need your unwavering loyalty, Alex. I don't want to force you; I don't want to force anyone. I won't make you loyal. That's... wrong."
Alex frowned and nodded.
"Take a seat."
Finally, he turned to Pablo and waited for permission.
Pablo frowned, staring as Alex took a seat and returned to awareness. "It can do quite a bit more than that, can't it?"
"Yes," Lelouch said.
"Conditional commands?"
"Yes."
Pablo nodded as if reassuring himself. "I trust you."
"What?" Lelouch asked. "How does that matter?"
"You will not force my loyalty. There is no need for you to waste it."
"I might not have a choice!" Lelouch glared at him, ready to use it anyway.
"Forewarned is forearmed. I am sure we can tackle it if that situation should arise, and my acting abilities are enough to feign obedience. I have years of practice."
He opened his mouth and shut it again. "How can you be so reckless?"
"Because there may come a time when it is useful. What if we are heading into enemy territory and about to be captured? An order to keep silent about what I know until it is over could save your life. Or maybe we are injured and temporarily need to work through the pain to survive. Or perhaps I need to pretend to be a man with a lame arm and you can convince me that it is so when I am playing the part. We cannot know the future, and it would be foolish to waste such a tool. I trust you; I don't need you to prove it."
"I can make people delighted to be my unwavering slave," Lelouch spat.
"Lelouch..." Pablo sighed. "You carry a gun. You could kill me any day. Given your status, you wouldn't even get a slap over the wrist for it. You could've done that back in Basic, when we all thought you were a nobody. Nobody is demanding that you disarm every time before talking to us. We know you. I know you. You have a new weapon—yes, it's frankly absolutely terrifying—but you're the one who wields it. I'm not going to let fear blind me to the fact that it can do good."
"Do good?" he asked dully.
"Interrogations," Art offered. "Checking for spies."
"Battle shock, perhaps," Pablo suggested with a knowing look. "You should at least discuss it with Lieutenant Colonel Tamay."
Frederick shifted, his brow furrowed. "Does the Emperor have one?"
"Yes." Lelouch's shoulder rose defensively. "He can rewrite memories."
"Well fuck," Roy mumbled.
Horror dawned onto Frederick's face. "Henry?"
"Yes." Lelouch squeezed his eyes shut. "He wants me to be someone else, and if I don't..."
Art's hand settled on his shoulder. "I won't let you forget your promise."
"I might not even remember you..."
"It has to have limits," Pablo said. "Otherwise, we would never be dealing with such upset in the noble ranks. He would've used it on you long before."
"I wasn't important enough then. Just a child," Lelouch whispered. "And he did. Because I saw something I shouldn't have. He used it on my mother too."
What had he changed? Lelouch should've asked. Why had he wasted his geass on his father like that? He should've been more careful. Better. He should've not fallen for such an obvious trap. Of course his father knew. He always knew.
"But he hasn't in all the time we've known you. Your priorities never changed. You constantly mocked him; it has to have gotten on his nerves. So he won't use it for any reason, and you are useful to him as you are. He won't risk that. So make memories tied to what makes you useful. There has to be a way," he trailed off. "In mythology, every power has a weakness. Salt, flowers, running water. There is a weakness, and if you discover what stops yours, it will most likely protect you as well."
Lelouch's eyes snapped open, already reaching for the drawer and the letterpad within. Weaknesses. Knowledge. He had to fight. The reason still eluded him. Yes, he had obligations to those around him. But they would be better off without him. He brought so much pain.
Frederick was right. Pablo was right. He hadn't exhausted all options yet.
And maybe his father would win...
His hand trembled as he began drafting a letter.
But death wouldn't deny his father victory, merely a battle lost. It would do nothing to change his vision of the world. Maybe, he would grieve, but that wasn't defeat.
The only way to win was to deny his father's version of the world. To deny that the strong had to subjugate the weak. That Numbers and commoners were inconsequential. To deny that victory could only be achieved through violence, force, and oppression.
What else the world could be, he did not know. The uncertainty stretched before him like a starless sky above the sea, threatening to devour him in its impossibility.
To win, he would have to dare to dream. Be the child he once was who had set off on his own path, denied his blood, and become something quite alien for a prince.
That path had brought him so much suffering.
Handing the letter to Art, Lelouch ordered, "I need a meeting with Lord Oberstein as soon as possible."
"He's a snake."
"But he knows about geass," Lelouch said. He focused on Roy, grimacing slightly. "I'm being promoted to Lieutenant General as Lelouch vi Britannia. It will be announced on my birthday. The 712th along with the 253rd and 617th will be placed under my command to fully integrate Area Fifteen in Britannia. We are to ensure Djibouti falls back into Britannian hands without the E.U. being able to publicly prove that we undermined them."
"That part of the rumor was true?" Pablo whispered.
Roy swallowed. "Your secret is out then."
"The Emperor is not making it easy by coupling that announcement with that task," Art said, his face drawn tight in worry. "We might have a mutiny on our hands."
Somehow, Lelouch would have to survive this. This was his father's first test. He thought the division would betray him. Lelouch believed him because there would always be one. How could he turn this around? There was the unsettling option of his geass.
"I'll make the announcement to the officers first," Lelouch said. "Maybe tomorrow. I should probably break one truth at a time."
Roy fidgeted.
Raising an eyebrow, Lelouch stared at him expectantly.
"They... They might already know."
"I told you not to tell anyone," Lelouch growled.
"And I disagreed so that exactly this situation wouldn't happen." His smile sharpened to a razor's edge. "Now, you only have to convince them to pacify civilians."
"You should've discussed it with me first."
"I tried to and you blew me off." Stepping forward, he raised his chin defiantly. "You want me to be your second, your right hand man. Well that means you trust me to have your best interests at heart. You're not perfect. If you do not even take the time to listen to my objections, I will overrule you. Or what do you think would have happened had I done nothing?"
Leouch swallowed, and his shoulders dropped. They both knew the truth. There would've been too much anger at his lie for reason to prevail, especially coupled with the upcoming deployment. Perhaps it was better that Roy approached them as a more independent third party.
"I helped," Pablo added.
To their side, the others stared at them in utter bafflement.
Lelouch sighed. Of course. But it was their initiative that made them such excellent officers. His father would've punished them for it. Any noble would've. "If both of you agreed... I will try to listen more. How—How did they respond?"
"Lucky Jim helped too," Pablo said. "Roy soothed their more personal concerns because people know he's close to you. Gill and I smoothed over the more delicate subjects. They had time... They will follow you because they believe in you, your vision for the future."
Lelouch didn't even know what he wanted the future to look like.
"Talk to them, frame it as a way to gain legitimacy so you can make more changes." Shrugging, Pablo scratched his head. "You'll need to deliver something."
"It was supposed to be a surprise," Lelouch said, shuffling through his papers. "For once you pass the citizenship test. But I guess, it's better to reveal it now."
Pablo raised an eyebrow and accepted the offered form. "I don't understand."
"It's only possible if you're actually Britannian, I can write your name in, and—"
"I'll be a noble. How did you—"
Lelouch smirked. "The former Lord Greenford was willing to sacrifice a fair amount to stop me from elevating my investigation to a case of high treason."
"Yeah," Pablo said weakly, returning the form. "I think that even a chance at that will be enough. The nobility will riot."
"We just have to succeed," Lelouch challenged, "force them to acknowledge our strength because we have so many victories under our belt that their ideology no longer can let them deny us."
And thousands upon thousands would die for it.
So close to the finish line, just need to wrap up the last few threads and pull a few new threads in for the next book. So close...
You know for someone who hates reading depression arcs, I've got to ask what I'm doing writing one, but then, I've been asking that since I threw Lelouch in the military.
I've started looking back at the early chapters of book 1 to do some edits... and oh boy, is my writing clunky there. I apologize. XD
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