Just a heads up: A few stories I enjoyed reading very much have been removed from this site by the mods, apparently for being too explicit. Maybe it was just a one-time occurrence, or maybe more stories are about to be deleted, we'll see.

For that reason, I have decided to crosspost this story to archiveofourown and I will post the rest of my stories there too, as soon as I have the time. I am doing that just as a precaution. In case my stories are ever getting deleted for any reason, you will be able to find them there.

Also, if you haven't done that already, I recommend you to download your favorite stories. Especially with older stories, even more so if the author has been inactive for a while, there's a chance, those stories would be gone for good, should they be deleted.

Stars fading but I linger on, dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

As It Is In Heaven

Chapter 10 – "Dream A Little Dream Of Me"

It was only a few steps from Amy's front door to his mother's house. Not nearly enough to clear his head. But he did not feel like taking another walk so late at night.

As silently as he could, he turned the key in the lock and opened the door to the house that – blessedly – was completely dark.

He managed to take a few steps towards his room, before…

"Now, young man, what exactly were you doing out so late?"

Oh, drats.

There went his hope to sneak into his room unnoticed.

"You know I was at choir practice, mother.", he replied, trying to keep a stoic face, as his mother emerged from the living room. "I told you about it, remember?"

She looked at him sternly.

"Well, that ended almost four hours ago. I know because that's when Missy came to pick up her children. Explain yourself."

He sighed. She made him sound like a naughty teenager missing his curfew. Not that he had ever done something like that.

"Not that it is any of your business, mother, but I went out with the other members of the choir. You wanted me to befriend them, remember? And then I walked home. The doctor said I should take walks. So… there."

He held his mother's gaze as she walked up closer to him and folded her arms in front of her chest. He had seen the look on her face before. But it had only very rarely been directed at him.

"Sheldon Lee Cooper, don't you dare lie to me like that. I saw you take Amy home more than an hour ago. I saw you talking in front of her door before you followed her inside."

He rolled his eyes.

"I guess the next thing you'll tell me is you peeked inside her window to watch us."

"Well, if I had, would I have seen anything interesting?", she implored.

Sheldon winced at that and his mother sighed deeply.

"Oh no, that's what I feared.", she exclaimed. "Sheldon, please. Think this through. Amy is a wonderful young lady. I love her, you know that. And when I first met her, I couldn't wait to introduce you to her. But you've seen her dating habits. Whatever there is between you two, she will not take it seriously. She will break your heart."

Sheldon chuckled dryly. Just minutes ago, Amy had told him she was afraid he would break her heart and now this? Even he could see the irony.

And oh, why did he have to discuss this with his mother now, before he had a chance to wrap his head around the events of the evening.

He had to stop this. He needed to distract her.

"What gives you the right to judge Amy? You know exactly what I saw you doing on your couch a few years ago. Who are you to criticize Amy for her dating habits?"

Mary sighed.

"There's nothing wrong with a young woman enjoying her life, Sheldon. I am not judging Amy. This is not about her. It is about you. You might be a genius, but you are so innocent and naïve. I don't want to see my child getting hurt."

"Mother!", he all but shouted. "Quit it already. You are such a hypocrite. You don't want to see your child getting hurt? Well then, why don't you just look away, like you've been doing with Missy all this time. But I guess that is okay, because the man who does it to her goes to church every Sunday, right?"

Mary stood there frozen. Her mouth opened and closed a few times before she regained the ability to speak.

"Sheldon, stop talking about your sister's marriage like that. Let's assume just for a moment that you are right. Do you really think, Missy wouldn't tell me if she were unhappy? And even if she didn't tell me, do you really think I wouldn't notice by myself?"

"Well, I would like to think you'd notice, mother. But apparently that is not the case.", he rebutted. "Because it is happening, and you seem to be the last person in Medford to notice."

"I… no…", again, she seemed to have trouble finding the right words. "It's not possible Sheldon. Robbie and Missy are happy. I've seen it. You don't know what you're talking about."

Mother and son stared at each other for a while, before Sheldon turned away.

"Whatever, mother. I see, as usual you just believe what you want to believe."

With that, he went to his room, unsure if he had won this argument. Unsure if he would ever get his mother to doubt her opinion of Robbie.

His mother, who was usually so good at this. Who had been a huge support for him and all his friends for so many years.

How could it be that she did not recognize her own daughter's misery, when everyone else did?

At least he had diverted the topic from himself and Amy.

He finished his bedtime routine then and fifteen minutes later he was lying in bed.

For the last time that day, he replayed what had happened earlier at Amy's.

He traced his lips with his fingers. Even after brushing his teeth, they were still tingling. And he could still taste the Cranberry juice.

He couldn't make sense of the things he had felt though.

It had completely caught him by surprise. And while he had to admit that he had immensely enjoyed it in the moment, it just was so confusing now.

What did this mean for him? Was he suddenly interested in… dating? In kissing girls?

It did not sound like him. At all.

But still…

Oh, this was crazy.

The exhaustion of the day took over then and he fell asleep.

"Oh, Sheldon. You are even better than I imagined you to be."
His chest swelled with pride as he pulled away from her.
"So, so much better than I imagined. Kiss me good-night, please."

She pulled him on top of her and their lips found each other.
He melted into her sweet embrace.

She felt heavenly. So soft and warm.
Begging to be touched by him.

But wait. Didn't he just carry her to bed, fully clothed?
But then why was she lying there naked? Why was he naked?
Under her covers. On top of her.

"I want you, Sheldon.", she whispered sultry. "I need you. Now."
Oh, she felt so good.

Her body, so soft. Quivering underneath him. Ready for him to claim her.

"No one else. Ever again. Just you. You are my superman."

He shivered as he kissed her lips again.

"Oh, Amy."

His eyes shot open.

What was that?

He had kind of gotten used to dreaming of her. But this? This was something else. This was… new. And dangerous.

And now, in the morning, he fully grasped the reality of what had happened the night before.

He had kissed Amy. KISSED Amy. His friend Amy. His friend that he had only known for two weeks.

He thought he knew everything there was to know about kissing.

It required 34 facial muscles and 112 postural muscles.

And it was unsanitary. So, so very unsanitary.

But now that he had hands-on experience with it, he also knew that those facts were completely irrelevant.

Because it was… oh, it was just out of this world. Better than a trip to the train store. Better than drinking Strawberry Quik. Better than watching the newest Star Wars movie for the first time.

It was the best thing he had ever felt.

And at the same time, the most confusing.

He had no idea how to handle this new knowledge.

He needed a plan. A strategy.

But first, he needed a shower. A cold one.

Just that moment, there was a knock at his door.

"I'm just getting up, mother. I'll be out in a minute."

But the voice he heard then wasn't his mother's.

"It's me. Amy. Can I come in?"

He froze. There went his game plan. He had wanted to come up with an idea of how to move forward. Preferably before he would see her again. Her and her distracting lips.

What did she want?

More kisses? He surely wasn't ready for that.

He sat up in bed but made sure his lower body was covered by his blanket. There was still an unresolved situation there to handle.

"Okay.", he said hesitantly.

But his eyes widened as he took in her appearance.

She was dressed just as she usually was. But she had dark circles under her eyes. She looked as if she hadn't slept at all. Which he knew was not the case, since she had been sleeping when he had left her.

"Hello, Sheldon.", she said, her voice hoarse. "I have a few questions about last night."

"Qu… questions?", he asked carefully. Was she mad at him for kissing her? Or had she somehow noticed that the photo album was not where she had left it? Had she figured out that he had looked at her photos?

Feeling guilty, he braced himself for an angry outburst.

"Yes… uhm… I need some help. You see, I remember the choir practice and us all going out. I remember singing and dancing, and… uhm… drinking. And I think you helped me get home. But after that, there are only a few blurry memories that don't really seem to make sense. I was hoping, you could fill me in."

So, she did not remember? Oh of course. The alcohol.

He wasn't sure if he should feel relieved or disappointed about it.

He could just lie. Just not tell her about the kisses. At least until he had a little more time to come to terms with what had happened.

But that felt wrong. Didn't she have a right to know?

"Well…", he started and sighed. "I helped you get home. You lured me inside with Yoo-Hoo. Then you gave me some useful advice concerning the whole situation with Missy. And then… uhm… you kissed me. On the lips. Completely out of the blue."

Her jaw dropped.

"I… I did? I kissed you? Oh God, Sheldon I am so sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Gosh, I should not have had so many drinks. And all of this when we are finally friends. Oh no. I can't believe I would do something this inappropriate."

She sat down on his bed and put her hands in front of her face.

Sheldon's heart had started to beat rapidly, with every word that Amy had spoken. And not just because she was… sitting on his bed.

This was it. The perfect opportunity to buy himself some time to figure out his feelings.

"Yes… uhm… completely inappropriate.", he stammered as he nodded. "But… uhm… I will graciously forgive you for it. After all… you were drunk and I am kind of a unicorn so I don't blame you for not being able to… uhm… resist my charms. In fact… we don't even have to talk about it anymore. Ever."

Slowly, Amy lowered her hands from her face and looked at Sheldon imploringly without saying a word.

He tried his best to avoid her gaze. She seemed to be looking right through him. She was figuring him out and he knew it.

"Sheldon?", she inquired. "What are you not telling me?"

Danger. Danger. Deny, deny, deny.

But the longer she kept looking at him, the more he realized, there was no use in trying to hide from her. He did not understand how that was possible, but she already seemed to know him too well.

"I wasn't opposed to it. And… I kissed you back.", he mumbled, while fidgeting with the corner of his blanket.

Her eyes widened. "You… you did?"

He just nodded uncomfortably.

"And by kissed me back… you mean…"

"We were necking like horny teenagers under the school bleachers.", he blurted out. "There. Now you know what happened. And then I carried you to bed and you called me Superman and asked me to kiss you good night. Which I did. Gladly."

"Superman.", she whispered. "That's why I keep remembering that Logo. You were wearing a Superman shirt yesterday."

He sighed.

"I don't know how to feel about last night, Amy.", he confessed.

"Oh.", she replied. "I understand. It was unexpected. And I kind of pushed you into it. It's alright, Sheldon. It does not have to mean anything. We can just forget it ever happened if you want."

She was proposing to reset their relationship to the point before they kissed. Which was another perfect opportunity.

Except…

"I did not say I want to forget it.", he protested. "I just… I don't know how to feel about it.", he repeated.

Even he did not really know what he meant by that.

She blinked at him, before she took a deep breath.

"Well… maybe… you just need some time to figure it out?"

She bit her lip nervously and it made Sheldon wonder why Amy didn't seem to have to make up her mind.

Could it be? Was she sure about this? Did she want this? Him?

She had said, she had been imagining him. All the time.

His eyes shifted to her lips. The same lips that had made him feel all these things the day before.

"Maybe.", he said, barely audible. "Or maybe…"

He shifted a little closer to her and her eyes widened again.

"Sheldon…", she whispered.

He leaned in and could see her close her eyes and pursing her lips.

Yes, this was exactly what he needed to make up his mind.

To feel those soft lips again. To hold this woman in his arms again.

Like the night before, he felt a connection. No, more than that. He felt like an invisible force was gripping him, pulling him closer to her.

His lips parted slightly as they moved closer to hers.

But then, the door to his room flew open and slammed against the wall loudly. They backed away from each other instantly, startled by the sound of his mother's voice.

"Good morning, Sheldon. I thought I'd bring you a fruit platter before breakfast. To give you the energy to start your day. And maybe you want to get dressed and then you and your… friend… Amy can resume your talk outside in the living room."

Her eyes shifted from him to Amy before she put down the plate, she was carrying on his bedside table.

"Thank you, mother.", he said after clearing his throat.

"We'll be out in a second.", Amy added.

He couldn't help but think that she sounded extremely uncomfortable.

Mary glared at Amy in a way that made Sheldon feel queasy.

"Alright then.", she said before she went back outside.

Amy and Sheldon both stared at the door that Mary had left wide open.

"Did she seriously just do that?", Sheldon asked in disbelieve.

Amy started giggling.

"She left the door open. I can't believe this. I feel like a naughty teenager that just got caught doing something forbidden."

He chuckled. It was almost the same feeling as last night when he returned home.

"Well, now I finally know what that feels like.", he managed to say before he burst out in laughter.

It felt good, laughing with her like that. They both laughed for a long time, holding their bellies.

Once they had finally calmed down, Sheldon looked at Amy sincerely.

"Amy.", he said softly. "You were drunk last night. To the point that you don't even remember what happened. It was my responsibility to stop you. And I am terribly sorry if you feel I took advantage of you."

She shook her head and smiled softly.

"It's alright, Sheldon. I do not blame you for anything. I can see how conflicted you are about what happened but please don't worry about it. I am just glad you're not… repulsed by what happened. By me."

He raised his eyebrow hat her. He had almost kissed her again just now, hadn't he? Why would she think he felt repulsed by her?

But there was something else troubling him. Something that really made him feel conflicted about the events of the night before.

He did not fully believe what his mother had said the night before. Just like she had the wrong idea about Robbie, she must have the wrong idea about Amy too.

He couldn't imagine Amy breaking his heart or tossing him out for another guy. Even if he hardly knew her, he just felt, he could trust her with anything.

However, there was no denying that she was more experienced in this dating and kissing thing than he was. She would expect things to go a certain way. She would want things to happen… Things like the thing he had dreamt about.

And judging by the situation in his pants, there was at least one part of him that wasn't completely opposed to those things happening at some point.

But he, with all his issues and phobias. Was he even capable of being with someone romantically?

In the end, who was to say, he wouldn't just disappoint her horribly?

Whatever they had started last night. It terrified him.

'I cannot lose her. She's my only friend in the world.', he kept thinking as he studied her.

"Amy…", he sighed. "I guess, it is safe to say that I am anything but repulsed by you. It's just…"

"A bit much.", she finished his sentence.

"Yes… With all these changes in my life lately. The heart attack. Meemaw. Moving here. The choir. And you… It's almost like I am not myself anymore. And that's…"

"Scary."

He nodded. "Yes. I just don't know if I can handle any more change right now. I don't know how to… do this. And… we only met two weeks ago. It's all just happening so fast."

She nodded in understanding.

"You don't have to explain, Sheldon. I get it. Let's just slow down a bit and get to know each other better. I mean… we can still be friends after last night. Right?"

Friends. It did not sound exactly right for the things he felt about her. But at least it sounded familiar.

He was capable of being her friend.

Just her friend.

For now.