You got out of Pentonville last week. Cam told me so; he was there to pick you up since you insisted (his words) that you would rather die than be greeted by your father. Considering how he's behaved thus far, I can't say I blame you. You want to be surrounded by your loved ones - you literally moved in with your aunt Alexis - and far be it from me to look down on you for that. I assumed that we'll just be nothing more than acquaintances, sitting around for Joss and Cam's benefit because they're our friends and we should be with our friends.

How wrong I was.

It's only been a few days since this all began, since you texted me. I mean, it was innocent enough, right? You said hello and hoped to see me soon. I was the one who slipped off the edge and indulged you. I shouldn't have, not after our talk in Pentonville not-too-long ago.

But that's just a distant memory now.

In a way, I should feel a lot of regret for what I'm doing. Rory deserves a lot of things, but this isn't one of them. It should haunt me, it should sit in the back of my mind and torture me until I buck up the courage to open my mouth and cut him loose, it should kill me. It doesn't, and in the moments I've spent with you, I didn't feel a thing for him. I just felt you.

I talked to him in another email, and I told him words that, at the time, were true, but now are not. I know he won't ever read what I wrote, and I'll make sure no one does, but it's only in that fleeting moment of reading the draft title that I feel any semblance of guilt. You've done your best to avoid the topic, and all these moments and words and kisses we've shared have been about us.

Is there an "us" now?

We don't do much when we meet. It's late at night, and not a lot of businesses are open for us to peruse. I've snuck you into the Gallery, you've paid for a table in the corner at the Port Charles Grill. I half-expect you to pull that Chuck exhibit stunt I imagined you did at some point. There's still time.

I'm having a lot of fun with you, more than I ever thought I'd have. It helps when you're not getting in your own way, when I get to see you be "Spencer Cassadine" instead of "Prince Spencer Cassadine," which is what I call you whenever you slip into this brooding, standoffish jerk personality. Underneath that above-it-all, haughty surface, there's a loving, selfless man who definitely goes against the mold of his family…at least the men of said family. You spending time with Alexis and her daughters will only bring the real you out more. It's already working, and you've only been out for a few days.

I'll be sure to thank them for their service, if it can even be called that.

I'm not sure what your angle is by staying with Alexis, but I won't complain. She's a pretty honorable woman, working hard to make The Invader a reputable news source instead of the trashy tabloid Peter August ran it as. I know she's had her fair share of crimes (what adults in this town haven't?) but she's one of the people who's risen from those ashes.

Sam too, and she's in an amazing relationship with Joss's stepbrother Dante. Their blended family is so cute!

Kristina is living the kind of life she's wanted. She's having fun working at Charlie's, and it seems like she's going to be in a relationship of her own soon. Her and Sonny's new guy seem really into each other…that's what I see when Joss and I hang out at the bar, at least.

Molly, too, is excelling. She's got a great job at the DA's office, and while it stung a bit that she was put on my case, I know she was just doing her job. She absolutely knew I wasn't guilty. Her relationship with TJ is so stable and grounded, and they're the doctor-lawyer power couple people dream of seeing.

They're all amazing women who lead amazing lives, and the fact that you're going to spend more time with them means that you'll be destined for the same thing…so long as you commit to it.

I'll back you every step of the way. Maybe I always have.

It's so funny - I made such a production out of not being your friend, and yet, I never stopped talking about you. Whether it was to share sentiments with Cam, or to put up with Joss's opinions, or to hear my mom jump for joy at your absence, your name still hung on my lips. You were still on my mind. Maybe I wanted closure, to close the door on us, or maybe I didn't want things to end. Looks like the latter won out.

We're going to see each other again: stargazing in the park. You told me you found a secluded spot where no one would catch us, with an unobstructed view of the sky. You wanted to find a few constellations among the stars, though you weren't forthcoming on their names. All these "dates" have contained so much in them: the elegant ambiance of fine dining, the illicit scandal in a familiar place, the marvelous beauty in a speckled night sky. You might be more of an aesthete than I am…not that I'm complaining.

All this time and writing and I've completely ignored Rory blowing up my phone to talk to me. It's getting late anyway, and maybe I'll get back to him in the morning. We're supposed to go on a double date with Joss and Cam to the hatchet-throwing place (the name escapes me). I'll be sure to add it to our growing list of places to go. I'll try to have fun with them before I get to do it with you, and I hope you decide to "coincidentally" reach out. If not, that's fine.

I'll be seeing you next weekend anyway.