This chapter spans over three months, and it is very conversation-heavy. Dealing with trauma is a very serious topic and for many people it takes lots of therapy to get through it. Sheldon will not be pursuing therapy in this story for several reasons: I do not feel capable of writing about that properly, I do not wish to include another new character and most of all, I want to explore his relationship with his siblings and have them be the ones who help him through it in their own different ways.

You will be hearing about the outcome of Robbie's trial in this chapter. I spent a few days reading about American (and specifically Texan) law. Still, I don't really know if what I came up with is realistic. To be honest, it probably isn't but I am sticking with it, even if it is very much wishful thinking.

The next update on Saturday will probably be a little later, because there's a carneval party at my son's school and we will probably he home late.

If you think of me
If you miss me once in a while
Then I'll return to you
I'll return and fill that space in your heart

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
I'll find my way back to you
If you'll be waiting

As It Is In Heaven
Chapter 20 – "The Promise"

Month 1 after the attack:

The recovery process was a long and tedious one. Especially at first, when he couldn't really do much more than lie in bed.

Now that he was home again, the absence of Amy in his life really hit him hard.

Sometimes, he just lay there, staring at the ceiling, trying to process how this could have happened. How did he go from finally holding the woman of his dreams in his arms to not even getting to talk to her anymore?

He wasn't even sure, if he was doing the right thing. He wished, he could have found a way to keep her in his life.

And he still suffered from nightmares. With time, they weren't as gruesome and violent anymore, though.

No, they changed. Instead of seeing Amy die, he saw the future he could have had with her. And then having it all taken away for him.

"What were you thinking?", the ghosts in his dreams asked. "You weren't good for her. All you could do was hurt her. No wonder you lost her. You could have never made it work. You are destined to be alone."

He kept waking up covered in sweat, but at least he wasn't screaming on top of his lungs anymore.

His mother kept asking him about Amy. When would she come visit? Why wasn't he staying at her place after all? What was going on?

It was ironic. Now that they weren't seeing each other anymore did she approve of Amy?

He didn't even try to explain. How would his mother ever understand anything that had happened between him and Amy during the night before the attack. She would probably just scold him for 'sinning'.

"We're keeping our distance for a while.", was the only information she got from him. "Please leave it at that."

Maybe it was because she saw how painful this was for him, but she really did leave it at that.

And then, there was his sister.

Ever since he got home, she hardly left his side. She kept checking on him several times a day, asking if he was in pain or if he needed anything.

She brought him his food, drove him to physical therapy and made sure he did his exercises regularly.

Together with Joshua, she went to the comic book store for him and bought a huge stacks of comic books to keep him entertained.

And once, when she had put her children to sleep, she offered to watch 'Star Trek: Deep Space Nine' with him.

He would have worried about this behavior. When had his sister ever been so nice to him?

But he did not have the energy. No matter, how much Missy tried, he felt miserable most of the time.

On one day, when his heart felt especially heavy, his gaze shifted to one of his journals that peeked out of his suitcase. He had never bothered getting them out, because the equations he had scribbled into them hadn't made sense in years.

He was desperate for a distraction though, so he took one of them and lay down on his bed to at least take one look at it.

But he did not leave it at one look.

Now that he saw his work again with a little distance, he could see the mistakes he had made while he was still so desperate for a success.

Or maybe it was the way he had learned to use different parts of his brain for the last months that got him to look at everything from a different angle.

"Hello, old friend.", he whispered as – for the first time since the attack – he was able to keep his mind blissfully empty from the nightmares and the guilt.

He spent a whole afternoon, working through his journals. Scratching out variables and replacing them with new ones. Adjusting equations. Coming to different conclusions, some of which he would have never thought of before.

In the end, he wasn't able to keep lying down. Full of excitement, he put up one of the whiteboards he had brought with him and by the end of the day, it was full of new ideas, new calculations, new hypotheses.

"Well, now that's what I call a comeback.", he said to himself proudly, as he put the cap back on his marker.

Out of instinct, he grabbed his phone and he almost dialed a certain number that was on his speed dial.

But then he realized, he couldn't.

He had lost the right to call her with every idea he had. She had always been excited when he had called her with a new arrangement for the choir. And he was sure she would be excited by this too.

"If you feel like talking, even if it's just to a friend, please know, I'll be there. Anytime."

But he couldn't do this to her. He couldn't just call her out of the blue when he knew it would only hurt her.

So, he dropped back down on his bed, feeling numb and hollow.

After that, he continued working on his ideas every day for a bit. But while he kept making progress and while it did help him, keep his mind off the gruesome thing he had been through, he just couldn't find the same enthusiasm again.

Without Amy, everything in his life just seemed to be much less colorful.

Month 2 after the attack:

After a few blissful weeks of silence, his mother started badgering him again.

"Sheldon, don't forget what the doctors said after your heart attack. You should be doing light exercise. Don't you think, you should at least start going on your walks again?"

He knew she was right. And so did his sister, who insisted on going with him.

Of course, taking walks with Missy was a painful reminder of all the walks he had taken with Amy in the past.

He missed her so much. All of her. It was on his mind constantly.

Her voice, her kindness… her gentle touch. The things she had told him at the hospital.

"Sheldon, it's been weeks now.", Missy told him gently one day when they walked by Amy's house, just as Ellis had fallen asleep in her stroller. "I see the way you keep looking down her driveway longingly, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. Please tell me what's going on."

He huffed.

"Nothing's going on. We just decided to keep our distance. That's it."

Missy raised her eyebrows at him as they walked up to their mother's house and sat down on her porch swing.

"Shelly, you might be able to fool mom, but you're forgetting that Amy and I are friends. And friends tell each other things. At least… we did before she started avoiding all of us."

"I don't know what you're talking about.", he mumbled, although he could feel his blood pressure rise.

"Oh, relax. She did not tell me everything. But when we drove to Houston, I casually asked her, why you were at her place that morning. Her face turned deep red immediately, so it wasn't hard to guess, especially with the way you were behaving around each other before that."

He shrugged. "Well, I guess you already know everything then."

"No, I don't.", his sister protested. "Because it makes no sense. The whole time when you were at the hospital, Amy seemed so enthusiastic to see you and take care of you. So, I am wondering, why aren't you at her place right now? Or why is she never joining us for a walk? Why do you look so sad whenever someone mentions her? Why is she avoiding me? What is going on?"

"Missy…", he sighed. "It's… complicated."

"Try me.", she challenged him.

He chewed on the inside of his cheeks. He so did not want to talk about this. Maybe he could just give her a little bit of information. Maybe she would let it go then.

"She almost died because of me.", he whispered. "I failed to keep her safe. And it gives me nightmares. So, she's staying away. To give me space to deal with it."

"You feel guilty.", Missy stated. "You think it was your fault. Robbie threatening her."

He nodded and prepared himself for Missy telling him, he was stupid and crazy. Because that was how he was feeling in that moment.

But she surprised him.

"I get it.", she whispered. "I feel guilty too."

That was a surprise. Why would Missy feel guilty?

"Sheldon, it all started with me. I let myself get fooled. I brought Robbie into our lives. I know you told me already that I am not responsible for his actions. And you are right about that. But I cannot help feeling that I almost brought on the downfall of this family – and of Amy – because of my stupidity."

"Missy…", he whispered. "I had no idea you still felt this way. But please believe me, you did nothing wrong. You fell in love with the wrong guy. But the things that happened? He did them, Missy, not you. You had no control over it."

"Exactly.", she exclaimed. "And you had no control over it either. Everything that happened, all of it. It was all Robbie's fault. Not yours and not mine or anyone else's. And he's gone now. He's locked away. But still, I am scared of him. I expect him to walk up behind me and punish me for leaving him. I'm at the park with Joshi and I see Robbie lurking behind the trees, waiting to hurt us."

Sheldon was speechless for a second as he heard the pain and fear in his sister's voice.

"That's how I feel too.", he admitted. "I keep having nightmares. I keep being afraid he could hurt Amy. I see her suffering and I hear those voices in my dreams telling me, it's all because of me."

"Well…", Missy sighed. "We need to convince ourselves that this cannot happen. We are safe now, Sheldon. All of us. Logically, we both know that. And now we have to start believing it. Because if we don't… then how can we ever be happy again?"

Sheldon smirked. Oh, she was making it sound so easy. But it wasn't. Not for him.

"I can't help it, Missy. Every time I look at her house… or even think of her. I just have this feeling that I am not good for her. It's just… I don't know how to make this stop."

"Then let me help you.", Missy insisted. "Talk to me about it. You know you can trust me. And maybe it will help you fight the dreams you keep having."

He studied her. She seemed genuine.

"No Missy, I do not wish to burden you. You've been through so much."

"So have you.", she all but whispered. "Because of me. Because you helped me. If you hadn't done that, then I would still be trapped in my marriage and you and Amy would be happy together. So now please, let me help you too."

"Well…", he shrugged. "Maybe we can help each other. Because obviously, you are still blaming yourself too."

Missy nodded again.

And that's exactly what they did. Even if it was painful and hard.

During their next walks, they talked in detail about the things that had happened to them. Sheldon was shocked to hear the full extent of Robbie's aggressions towards his sister.

But he gritted his steeth and listened to it, and very time, when Missy tried to blame herself, Sheldon reminded her who was really to blame. Robbie. No one else. She was not responsible for it.

And whenever Sheldon gave himself a hard time for not protecting Amy enough, Missy would remind him of the same thing.

"Even if she had run away when you told her, it might not have saved her. Robbie hated Amy so much.", Missy pointed out one day. "Who says she wasn't on his target list anyway? She was one of the people he blamed for disrupting his comfortable life. And he had enough weapons and gasoline in his trunk to kill us all."

"So, you are saying it all was hopeless from the beginning?", he pondered. "This is a very pessimistic way to look at things."

"No, Sheldon, I am saying the opposite.", she retorted. "Think about it. Why did Robbie not just break into our houses and kill all of us anyway? As horrific and tragic it is, everything that happened to you. Had you not been out there that morning, coming home from Amy's, we would all be dead. Including you, had you been sleeping in your own bed. And Amy, well, she would either be dead too or she would have woken up to an image that would have haunted her for the rest of her life."

These conversations with his sister gave him a lot to think about. And even if he dreaded it, talking about Robbie, when all he wanted was to forget about him, somehow talking about him made him less scary in his mind.

He was no longer a dangerous shadow. He was a monster that had been caught. And hopefully, he would never walk free again.

And so, when he found himself in another nightmare, he did not just let those voices get to him without fighting against them.

"No.", he would say firmly to dream-Robbie. "No, you're lying. It wasn't my fault. It was yours. All of it. And you'll be paying for it for the rest of your life."

Most of the time, this would make him wake up. And then he would lie in bed, and repeat the words to himself like a mantra.

"It wasn't my fault. It was Robbie's. He is in jail. He won't be getting out. I am safe. Amy is safe. He cannot hurt us anymore. It wasn't my fault. It was Robbie's…"

And while he couldn't believe it fully yet, he felt a little bit of the weight on his shoulders slip away.

It was around that time, that he started doing work for the choir again. As much as it hurt, being reminded of Amy, he couldn't let these people down.

While he wasn't physically ready to lead choir practice, he still worked on putting together a new program for the competition in LA that would be happening only a few months from now, in July.

Jared – who luckily was willing to fill in for Sheldon as long as he was still recovering – came by at least once a week to pick up the arrangements or talk about the progress the choir was making.

"I have a favor to ask.", he told Sheldon during one of his visits. "You see uhm… Greg and I have been going out for three years now. And now that it's finally out in the open, we decided to get married. We'd like to do it here in Medford. Do you think the choir would sing at our wedding?"

Sheldon looked at Jared a bit confused.

"We performed at every other life event of every choir member. Of course, we'll be singing at your wedding. You shouldn't have to even ask. Just say where and when and we will make it happen."

"I'm glad you see it that way.", Jared nodded at him and smiled brightly. "The wedding will be in summer, probably a few weeks after the competition in LA. And… uhm… Amy will be my best man, so she won't be singing with the rest."

Amy.

He was sure she was excited being asked to fulfill this role. It hurt, hearing this information from Jared and not from her, but of course he couldn't blame her. She was only doing what they had agreed on.

"Jared… can you tell me how she is? Is she doing okay?", he asked, afraid to hear the answer.

The smile vanished from Jared's face and made way for a sad expression instead and already Sheldon felt sad too.

"She's uhm… she's coping. I've been trying to make as much time for her as I can and cheer her up. But she has lost so much and it's hard for her. I… I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to hear this. I probably should just have told you she's fine. That's what she would have wanted me to tell you."

"No.", Sheldon insisted. "I want to hear the truth. Please, tell me."

Jared sighed.

"Sheldon, it was already hard for her when Connie died. Your grandmother meant so much to her. But then you came into her life almost right away and things got better again. And now she had to see this horrible thing happen to you. She feels she can no longer be around you or your family anymore. I have never seen her so… broken and lonely. She misses all of you so very much."

"Well, I miss her too.", Sheldon said in a small voice. "I never wanted to hurt her, I hope she knows that. If only I could…"

"She does know.", Jared assured him. "It's just… I am sure you know how insecure she can get. At first, she seemed so energetic. She was convinced that everything would turn out fine in the end because what you two had was so special. But the more time passes, the more she stops believing that you'll be back in her life at some point. And I believe she is starting to convince herself that maybe you don't feel about her the way she thought you do. And that hurts her."

Sheldon slumped down on his desk chair.

"Oh, no. I don't ever want her to think that."

"You do feel about her the way she thought, don't you?", Jared asked him seriously. "I'm just asking because if not…"

"Of course I do.", Sheldon exclaimed. "I hate that she's hurting so much. I wish there was something I could do."

Jared smiled at him weakly. "I am sorry Sheldon. You should be focusing on getting better yourself. I will keep being there for her, so please don't worry too much, okay?"

He just nodded thoughtfully.

"Thank you for looking out for her, Jared.", he said but he couldn't help but feel, it should be him, looking out for her.

And so it was, a constant back and forth. Days when he almost felt like himself again, and then days, when he hardly got out of bed, but he knew he had to keep fighting. After all, his sister was right. How else would he ever be happy again?

Month 3 after the attack:

It had taken a while, but finally, he felt strong enough again to go back to choir practice with Missy, who had asked him about it for a long time.

He knew, Amy would be there too and he almost backed out of it beause of that.

He so desperately wanted to see her again. Talk to her. Apologize for hurting her.

But at the same time, he just wanted to leave her alone. He had hurt her enough already.

In the end, he gathered all his courage and walked into the practice room.

He spotted Amy instantly. She seemed to be surprised by him showing up, but she caught herself quickly and greeted him with a nod.

He returned it and smiled at her softly, as he took in her appearance.

On the surface, she still looked the same. But she was paler than usual. Her eyes, friendly as always, but no longer sparkling.

But there was something different about her clothes. They seemed baggier somehow. Had she lost weight?

A whole new kind of guilt washed over him.

He had really let her down.

But before he could do anything… walk up to her, apologize, ask her how she was doing… the other members greeted him with an emotional welcome.

The clapping and cheering did not seem to stop and then his gaze shifted to the cupboards on the wall.

There it was. The huge trophy they had gotten at the competition. The result of all their hard work. It was marvelous.

"Thank you.", he said, trying not to cry. "But we are here to sing, aren't we?"

And they did exactly that. Oh, it felt good, doing this again. Reclaiming one thing that Robbie had taken away from him.

After the practice, they sat together at the long table to drink cider and talk.

It was hard, spending this extra time in close quarters to Amy, and not being able to talk to her.

He sat with Ruth and Missy, who had formed a close friendship ever since Ruth had taken care of Missy's children during that fateful night.

Amy had taken a seat at the other end of the table with Jeremy and Jared. It was clear, she was still trying to give him space, and he wasn't sure how to feel about it.

Part of him wanted to go over to her. Tell her to stop keeping her distance from him. But he did no such thing. Because it wasn't the right thing to do right now. And because he felt he had lost the right to do so.

But he did watch her across the room and sometimes she would look back at him and they would share a small smile.

Maybe not all hope was lost yet.

Everyone was so busy talking to each other that no one noticed at first, when Daniel, the oldest member of the choir stood up from his place.

He cleared his throat audibly and Sheldon looked at him expectantly.

He looked a little nervous, dressed in his best Sunday clothes. Sheldon couldn't put a finger on it, but something about the man was different.

Once he had everyone's attention, he cleared his throat again. What was going on?

Sheldon's eidetic memory reminded him of what he had told the choir all these weeks before, on the day when everyone had shared their secrets.

His eyes shifted from Daniel to Ruth and back. No. He wouldn't do this here, in front of the whole choir, would he?

"Thank you for your attention.", the old man finally said. "Due to recent events, I have realized that life is short and that we should tell people how we feel about them. Before it is too late. So…"

Sheldon met Amy's gaze for just a split second, but enough to feel a painful sensation in his heart.

"Ruth.", Daniel said firmly. "I want to tell you, that all my life, I've only ever loved you. Ever since we were in elementary school. I was too afraid to tell you. But I want everyone to know now. I love you, Ruth. I love you with all my heart. I love how strong and brave you are. I love how gentle you are. I even love how stubborn you are. My life wouldn't be the same without you. I've loved you for the past seventy-five years. And I will love you for as long as I shall live."

The whole room fell silent. A few people gasped others raised their hands to clap, but once everyone saw Ruth's reaction, no one felt like clapping anymore.

She was sitting there, next to Sheldon. Looking at her floor while fidgeting nervously with her necklace. Her cheeks turned red, and tears were assembling in her eyes. Her lips were trembling slightly, but enough for Sheldon to notice.

"Ruth.", he whispered and was just about to pat her shoulder to gain her attention.

But then, Ruth started to frantically shake her head before she got up so quickly, her chair fell down with a loud thud.

"Ruth…", Daniel called out. "Please, say something."

But Ruth, still shaking her head, ran out of the room without even looking back at Daniel.

An uncomfortable silence spread amongst the other members as Daniel sat back down. He looked crushed.

Missy ran after Ruth and after a moment of consideration, Sheldon followed them too.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Amy walking up to Daniel, most likely to comfort him.

Outside, Ruth was sitting on the steps leading to the lawn in front of the little practice room. She had her head buried in her hands and was shaking with sobs.

Sheldon had no idea how to deal with the situation, but Missy took the lead and sat down next to the old lady and wrapped her arm around her shoulder to comfort her.

"How dare he.", Ruth sobbed. "How dare he tell me he loves me. After all this time. How can he do that?"

"Ruth.", Missy said soothingly. "It's fine. Just tell him you don't love him back. I know it is awkward, being told in front of all these people, but that will pass. Everyone will forget about it eventually and we can all just move on."

"No.", Ruth said, sobbing again. "No, we cannot."

"But…", Missy looked at Sheldon, shaking her head in confusion. "Why?"

It was one of these rare moments, when Sheldon actually understood what was going on around him before his sister did.

"Because…", he said softly. "She loves him too."

Ruth looked back at Sheldon. There was surprise in her eyes, before she looked at the floor again.

Sheldon sat down next to her and gently took her hand.

"I always loved him.", Ruth finally breathed out. "Ever since we were little kids, I dreamed of marrying him one day. We did everything together. We were inseparable. He stole my first kiss when we were teenagers. We went to prom together. And then, he went away for college. The night before he left, I told him how I felt. He did not give me a straight answer, just that he needed to leave and that someday, he will come back to me."

She sobbed again.

"I waited and waited. He came back for the holidays, but he never mentioned my confession to him. He acted as if nothing had happened and when he came home for good, he brought a little son with him. Said nothing about the mother, just that she had signed away her parental rights. Of course, I stepped in. Daniel and I became friends again and I became almost a mother to this little boy. I was always hoping we would be a real family at one point. But I assumed, he wasn't interested. And now he says he loved me all this time? Why didn't he tell me?"

Her hand started shaking again.

"He never said anything. How dare he? How dare he tell me now? We could have had it all. We could have had a life together. I tried dating other men, but they all just weren't… him. And I thought he just didn't feel the same way. I had accepted that. But he did. And it was his turn to tell me. He robbed us of everything we could have had. Why? Why did he do it? How… how can I ever forgive him for that? I wish he hadn't told me at all."

Missy shook her head.

"I don't understand it either, Ruth. This is crazy."

Sheldon closed his eyes. Oh, he could understand Daniel. At least he thought he did. And it was strange for him, but even if the situation wasn't exactly the same, he felt, he knew exactly what was going on in Daniel's mind.

"I think he was scared.", he stated. "Maybe he felt guilty too. For… not being the man you deserved. He felt you showed him more kindness than you should have, and he probably knew he hurt you with his actions. He must have wanted to tell you every day. But he was afraid of hurting you again. Please don't hate him for it."

"I could never hate him.", Ruth sobbed. "I am just… angry. Why didn't he tell me? Why did he not trust me? I was scared too. But we could have figured it out. Even if nothing ever came of it, even if we had decided to stay friends, it would have been nice, having a say in that matter. He made this decision for us both without even consulting me."

"Do you want me to go get him so you can tell him that?", Sheldon finally asked.

Although she had calmed down a little, Ruth was still shaking.

"I don't think I can do it. No, Sheldon, I'll just go home. Thank you for listening. And please tell him, I'll talk to him when I'm ready."

"Alright.", Sheldon agreed. "I'll tell him."

All three of them stood up and Missy offered to drive Ruth home, which she gladly accepted.

But before they got into the car, Sheldon held Missy back.

"Missy, could you do me a favor?", he asked her.

"What is it, Sheldon?", she asked, searching his eyes for a clue.

"Amy… she's hurting. Jared told me and today I saw it for myself. Do you think… could you maybe try to visit her once in a while and make sure she's okay? I know she's been staying away from all of us, but there is no reason you two cannot be friends. And while you're at it… there is something I left in meemaw's room. Something I really need to have right now. Maybe… do you think you could go get it for me?"

"Of course I can do that.", Missy agreed. "I love Amy and I never liked it that she stopped coming over. I just… I wish you two would stop this nonsense already. I wish you could go over there yourself and get whatever you left there."

He sighed. Oh, he wished for the same thing.

Taking a deep breath, he walked back into the practice room.

At first sight, it did not seem different from other gatherings. Most of the members were still seated around the table, drinking cider and talking to each other. Just a little more subdued than before.

He searched the room and finally spotted Daniel sitting in the corner with Amy and Jared.

He looked like a broken man, his eyes red from crying. Amy was holding his shoulder and talking to him. Probably in the same soothing tone she had so often used with him, Sheldon thought sadly.

His eyes stayed glued on Amy.

Oh, how he missed her. How he longed to be next to her again.

After a while she looked up and their eyes met.

He did not turn away at once. She looked so sad. But when he gave her a small nod, she returned it and smiled at him weakly. It felt like she was telling him, she knew how he felt. And that she felt the same way.

He swallowed deeply but then he turned around.

"Well, I am feeling a little tired and I will get going now. Have a good night, everyone. I'll see you on Monday night for the next practice.

The night that followed was a restless one.

He dreamed of Amy again. But it was yet a new kind of dream.

He was in Amy's living room, holding her, kissing her, like they had kissed months ago.

But then she pulled away and looked at him accusingly.

"I wanted this, Sheldon. Why did you take it away? You hurt me. And now I might never be happy again."

"I'm sorry.", he croaked. "I wanted this just as much as you did. I wish I could fix what is broken."

For the next few days, Sheldon felt restless and tired.

The emotions in his soul kept fighting against each other.

And then, a day came, when everything, all the emotions, shifted to the background.

The last day of Robbie's trial.

Sheldon had only been present at court on the day when he had been called as a witness. It had been hard, talking about the events of that fateful morning and he hadn't looked at Robbie once.

Luckily, Robbie's lawyer did not have any questions for him. It was a very young public defender, almost a boy, who was seemingly shocked by the violent actions of his client and probably just wanted this trial to go over fast. Or maybe he just knew it was pointless. There simply was no way to make Robbie look good in all of this.

A lot of new information had come to light during that trial. Well, new for Sheldon and his family.

Apparently, Robbie had already spent quite a few years in prison for stalking and aggravated assault. There were two restraining orders in place from former girlfriends. Missy had not been the first woman who had suffered unter his temper.

Unlike Sheldon, his sister had been there every day to see the trial. She had called earlier that day, telling them the jury was now retiring to their room and she was waiting to hear the sentencing and to see Robbie being taken away to prison.

Even Georgie had taken the day off to spend the day with the family.

He did that sometimes ever since their talk in the hospital. Once he had even driven Sheldon and Joshua to the train museum in Galveston and spent the day there with them.

He seemed to be serious, wanting to be a better brother, even though he had complained a little on that day.

"Why does our nephew have to be like you?", he asked Sheldon. "I could use someone to take over the tire business someday. But they would have to put those on train wheels for him to be interested."

Sheldon was about to protest, but Georgie was smiling at him as he said this, so he guessed, it was meant as a brotherly joke.

He had shrugged in response. "Well, you can always hope for Ellis. Buy her toy cars with real tires for her Birthday before I can get her a trainset."

Georgie had laughed as if it was a joke and Sheldon was strangely proud of himself.

But on this specific day, Georgie seemed to be just as on edge as Sheldon. And a bit annoyed by his behavior, as he still couldn't sit still.

"Sheldon, sit down already. You're worrying me.", he said, smiling helplessly at Sheldon. "What's going on? Is this a new tick or something? Cause I think you've got enough of those already."

"No, I am just… feeling a little anxious because of the verdict.", he admitted.

And it was almost the truth. He did feel anxious because of that.

But there was also the letter, his sister had brought him back from Amy's place.

The letter that was now in his own nightstand, waiting to be read.

And then there was Amy.

Ever since he had seen her at choir practice, the urge to talk to her had become almost unbearable.

Georgie kept eyeing him suspiciously.

"Alright, that's it.", he stated then. "Come on, little brother, we're going out for a walk."

He tried protesting, but it was to no avail. Georgie insisted on it.

"Now tell me.", Georgie said after a few minutes of walking in silence. "What's going on with you and Amy. I could use the distraction while we wait to hear from Missy."

He sighed deeply. It still felt strange, Georgie being genuinely interested in his life. But finally, his resistance crumbled. He had told Missy already. It couldn't hurt to hear what Georgie thought of it.

So, he gave his brother a short summary of his and Amy's history. How he resented her at first but couldn't get her out of his head. How they became friends.

How they kissed the first time and the dreams he kept having after that. And how they grew closer with time.

Even the fact that they spent the night together before the morning on the attack. Without the details of course.

His brother listened intently to all of it.

"And now you came to your senses and realized you can't live without her? Well, better late than never. I found this radio silence between you two strange from the beginning. And I kind of miss her."

"What?", Sheldon asked surprised. "No, that's not what I am saying. I still think she's better off without me. It's just hard, convincing myself not to seek out her company again."

"I see you're just as unreasonable and crazy as you were when we were kids.", Georgie shook his head.

"I'm not crazy…", Sheldon started to protest.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. For the record, I still think mother should have followed up with that specialist in Houston."

Sheldon sighed. "So, we're taking this walk in order for you to insult me?"

"No.", Georgie said. "We're taking this walk because I know you're still recovering and can't just run away when I tell you some things you need to hear. Because I love you, brother, but I won't coddle you like mom and Missy do all the time. And you will listen to it."

He was right, Sheldon realized. Even if he wanted to, he could not outrun Georgie.

"I'm listening.", he conceded.

"Sheldon, I get that you are scared. That morning, it was horrible. I still have nightmares of seeing you lying in the grass more dead than alive, a gun pointed at your head and poor Amy shaking with fear. It should not have happened to you. It's okay that you needed time to yourself, even Amy understood that. But it's enough now. It's been almost three months. You can't throw away this wonderful thing that happened to you against all odds. You have to get over yourself now, or it will be too late sooner than you think."

"What do you know about it, Georgie? I've seen the parade of women going in and out of your life."

His brother looked at him sternly.

"Sheldon, do you think I like being divorced twice? Don't you think I'd be thrilled to finally find the woman I want to spend my life with? I'm desperate to find her. I wish I would find someone who is so obviously my soulmate as Amy is yours."

Sheldon snorted.

"Georgie you hardly spent time with me and Amy together. In fact, you hardly spoke to me before the attack, other than to insult me. Don't act like you know what Amy and I mean to each other."

"I didn't have to see you two together, in order to know that.", Georgie said, grinning at him.

Sheldon stopped in his tracks.

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Sheldon, when this woman moved in with meemaw and started showing up at our family dinners, all it took was one conversation with her. I remember, after she and meemaw left that first night, Mom and Missy smirked at each other and gushed over how it felt as if they had a part of you back in their lives."

"Really?", Sheldon stared at his brother who had stopped walking now as well.

"Oh, don't flatter yourself. She was much more pleasant than you. Polite and charming. But the way she spoke, so peculiar at times, I once joked with Missy and told her she was probably switched at birth because that was what a twin of Sheldon Cooper should be like. And I know, meemaw was waiting for the day you came to visit again to introduce her to you. We were all waiting for it."

"Why did no one tell me about her?", he wondered. "When you were all eager for me to meet her?"

"I don't know why meemaw did not tell you. But I wanted to see the surprised look on your face. Just to see how you'll react when you realize you are in fact not the only member of your species. Missy and I had a bet going. She claimed, you'd fall in love with her instantly, I disagreed and told her you'd hate Amy because you'd realize you're not that unique. I guess I owe her twenty bucks now."

"Well, that's a nice story.", Sheldon stated. "But what exactly are you trying to tell me here, Georgie?"

"I am trying to make you see what you are throwing away, Sheldon. Think about it long and hard. You won't find another one like her."

"You think I don't know that?", Sheldon all but yelled. "You think this is easy? I've been alone and friendless for so long. And the way I feel about her, I didn't even think I was capable of it. But being with me will just hurt her. It almost destroyed her life already. And you should have seen her yesterday at choir practice. She looked so sad. I ruined everything. I can't do this, Georgie."

"Because of Robbie? He's gone, Sheldon.", Georgie exclaimed.

"But I'm still me, don't you see that?", Sheldon felt tears springing to his eyes. "I am barely able to maintain a friendship. I can't tell how people are feeling. I can't tell if I am acting appropriately. I'm bound to hurt her again and again. I already did. And I won't do it again. It would be better for her if she just moved on and found someone better than me."

Georgie just stood there open mouthed.

"I don't know what shocks me more.", he muttered. "The fact you actually feel guilty for something, and just for the record, something that is not your fault at all, or the fact you realize the world doesn't revolve around you and there might be a better person than you somewhere."

"Georgie, you're not helping.", Sheldon sighed.

"Well, let you tell me what I think. Yes Sheldon, I realize a relationship with you might be difficult. You do hurt people around you without realizing it. You are selfish and self-centered and let me tell you from personal experience, you do not make people's life easier by being in it."

"Your point being?", he asked sarcastically.

"Amy's and adult. She does not need your protection. She's met you. She knows all of this. And she still wants you in her life. Maybe you should trust her judgement instead of making this decision by yourself. And - you better listen, because believe me, I will only say this once - while you are not making anyone's life easier, you certainly make it more interesting. And we all know that behind all those quirks, you are a decent person who deserves to be happy."

"But…"

"No but. You are right about many things, Sheldon and you probably understand things about this world that I will never be able to grasp. But trust me on this. You are making a huge mistake by staying away from Amy and it is about to blow up in your face."

"I know.", Sheldon whispered. "I know I made a mistake. I waited too long. I just… I don't know what to do."

"You should talk to her tonight.", Georgie suggested. "Tell mom to invite her to dinner. She should be with us anyway while we are waiting for the verdict. She is as much part of this as we are."

"I'll think about it.", Sheldon finally mumbled as they walked back home.

They weren't even close to the house, when they saw Missy running towards them. Which meant, the trial had to be over.

"It's in!", she shouted. "The jury came back early. Didn't take them more than two hours to come to a decision."

She hugged both Sheldon and Georgie repeatedly and jumped up and down from joy.

"Well, don't keep us hanging, sis.", Georgie told her. "What did they say?"

"Guilty of all charges.", she said, crying and laughing at the same time. "He's got a life sentence. No parole. He will never get out again."

"Really?", Sheldon exclaimed.

It was better than he could have imagined, and he could feel the last bit of his fear of Robbie leave his soul.

It was over. Definitely over.

Oh, thank goodness.

They walked back home then all three of them arm in arm, laughing and crying together.

And when they were home, Mary suggested to turn their family dinner into a feast to celebrate this day. Georgie went to get cake and Missy ordered food. For once, no one insisted on having a heart friendly menu.

"Mom, could you invite Amy too?", Sheldon asked, thinking about what Georgie had said before. "She should hear this. And she should be part of this celebration."

Yes, he had made up his mind.

He would talk to Amy tonight. About everything. Tell her his side of the story. The nightmares, the fears, everything.

And then he would ask her, if she could forgive him for hurting her. If she was still on board. With everything.

Maybe they could spend the evening outside on the porch, talking about it. Maybe she would even let him hold her again.

Little did he know, an unpleasant surprise was waiting for him as he walked into the dining room that evening.

"Mom?", he asked, as he inspected the dinner table a while later. "There's a plate missing. Or has Georgie left after all?"

"I'm still here, Shelly.", he heard his brother's voice from the living room.

"Oh, no, honey. There are enough plates. It's just… Amy's busy tonight. She won't make it to dinner.", his mother explained.

Amy's busy. Busy with what?

Oh no… had Ruth's story scared her off for good? Was she done waiting for him?

But… she wouldn't… would she?

His silent question was answered however by the sound of a car pulling in on the driveway of Amy's house.

There was no honk. Instead, a tall man got out of his car. He was dressed elegantly and even Sheldon had to admit, he was very attractive.

His mother stood beside him at the window, watching the scene in front of them as well.

"Sheldon, I am sure it is not what it looks like.", she assured him. "I spoke to her just yesterday. She was asking about you. Whatever this is… it must be completely innocent."

Before the man could knock at the door, Amy came practically flying outside. She jumped into the man's open arms and smiled at him brightly. Oh, how beautiful she looked.

The two of them looked as if they were close. Very close. They exchanged some words before they got into the car and drove away.

"Oh, brother. I am so sorry.", Georgie, who had witnessed everything from the doorway, told him.

"No.", Sheldon whispered. "It's not possible. It cannot be."

"Maybe mom's right.", his brother tried to comfort him. "Maybe this is an old friend. Or a cousin."

Oh, how he wanted to believe this. But he knew, Amy had no old friends. And she had never told him anything about a cousin.

A new heaviness spread out in his heart.

Could it be?

Was he too late?