I'm currently taking a literature class that delves into the components of storytelling. I needed to fill out an elective credit, and it was the only course I found myself interested in where I met all the prerequisites. I'm not planning on being an author, and writing isn't the artistic avenue I want to pursue, but it was a better alternative to the multitude of philosophy courses offered to me. I took the entry level class: that's all I need, thanks.

I did not expect it to be one of my favorite classes this semester.

The professor has the class broken up into four sections: Exposition & Backstory, Plots (Main & Sub), Pacing & Development, and Characterization. So far it's been really interesting and fun, and the professor moderated a lot of fun discussions and debates. Sometimes I participate, but usually I sit back and watch the English majors go at it and pour their hearts into their creations. My writing's nothing special, and I'll probably delete it once the semester ends, but it's all pretty fun.

Currently, we're in the "pacing" section. The professor broke that down by genre, and currently, we're on the "pacing in romance" part. The professor made a point to say that each speed for a romance is different, and that slow burns aren't something we feel like we have to write. When it comes to romance, it's all about the two people in it. If they move faster, then move at their speed instead of a speed you think is right. Something that helps is whether or not the two people know each other (in the case you're not writing a hookup or one-night-stand), and if you establish that they know each other prior to the events of the book, it speeds up them getting together. You save yourself developing them getting to know each other, and you focus on developing their mutual attraction.

…I might be paraphrasing the lesson just a little bit.

That lesson got me thinking about us, and it made me wonder if we're moving at hyperspeed. I mean, we know each other pretty well, and we definitely have romantic feelings for one another, but did we move too fast? This isn't to say I have doubts, or that I wasn't ready to be with you, but maybe we pushed ourselves into a full-fledged relationship because the sneaking around was so thrilling?

We do all the normal things couples do: we hold hands, we go out on dates, we enjoy each other. Granted, we have our own experiences and intimate moments, but we're us. That's a good thing, isn't it, to be unique? We got together fast, we're deepening our relationship fast, we're doing everything fast. But is it too fast?

I've had too many questions on my mind about everything, so I asked my professor about us. His answer: "Only you know if your relationship is moving at the right speed." At the time, I didn't find it to be helpful, so I went to Dr. Collins. I'm not sure if he and my professor colluded on this answer, or the universe is trying to tell me something, but he said the same thing.

Only I know if my relationship is moving at the right speed.

Part of me wishes that it wasn't up to me specifically, where I have to sit and make such an emotional decision, but here I am, writing this email and sitting with my feelings to sort them out.

Like I said, I don't have doubts about being with you, and I felt ready to be with you the moment I told you I broke up with Rory. Maybe I jumped the gun a little bit - I did just go through a breakup after all - but it's not like jumping the gun has caused me any grief. I'm very happy, probably the happiest I've been in awhile, with you. I just…can't shake this thought that something is off.

I ultimately went to see my professor during office hours, and I asked him a lot of the questions I've been asking here. Maybe I repeated myself a little bit to him, but I just needed some clarity. The whole thing turned into a scene you'd see in a coming-of-age movie, if I'm being honest, but in a way, I got the answer I needed.

He told me that his storytelling class is unique at PCU, where he focuses more on class discussions than on essay work. Sure, we still have to write something, but it's not an analytical piece that needs eight primary sources in an annotated bibliography. Not only that, but his course is in sections, and the sections are unique within themselves, because he wants us to learn that not every novel is (or should be) the same. At first, it seemed simple enough, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized what the bigger picture was.

People get so wound up in tropes or trends they like, and when it becomes mainstream, there's this expectation to mold any up-and-coming works to match the current wave. You want to be like everyone else, and when you don't match up, you feel like you're missing something or that there's something wrong. You shortchange yourself on what *you* want to do as an artist so you can get the gratification of doing something that society wants. You get all the fame and popularity and money by conforming, but you lose out on reaping the same rewards by doing what you feel is best.

And that's when I realized it wasn't the pacing of our romance that was off, it was some internal pressure to be like other romances that made me feel off.

I shouldn't have to worry about what other people do or say, and I feel a bit stupid for letting that thought grow. I mean, I'm an artist myself! I hate the idea that I create bodies of work that the masses want to see instead of creating bodies of work I want to put out there. I would never give up my artistic freedom, so-to-speak, to make others happy. So then why on Earth would I suddenly think I should feel bad for my relationships not being like other ones? It's dumb.

We're Spencer and Trina. We're real people, not characters in a book. We have our own way of doing things and our own display of love. We're moving at a speed that we like, and the fast pace works for us. We're two aesthetes that found a bond no one can break. We're us, and honestly, it's absolutely perfect.