The next update on Wednesday might be a little later than usual. After several years of maternity leave, I am going back to work in March and on Wednesday evening, I'll be attending an event that has to do with that. I don't know how long it will take, but I expect to be posting at least two or three hours later.

She's got a smile that heals me, mmh
I don't know why it is
But I have to laugh when she reveals me
She's got a way of talkin', mmh
I don't know what it is
But it lifts me up when we are walkin'
Anywhere

As It Is In Heaven
Chapter 25 – "She's Got A Way"

A shrill sound disturbed Sheldon's peaceful sleep and he blinked his eyes open reluctantly to check his surroundings.

Something – no, someone, stirred in his arms and only then he felt the weight of another person lying half on top of him.

Quickly, so she would not wake up too, he retrieved Amy's phone from her nightstand and looked at the caller I.D.

"Hey, Missy.", he whispered, after answering the call. "It's not a good time. Amy's asleep."

There was a short pause, and then a squeal on the other line.

Oh no, he should not have phrased it like that.

"I knew it!", his sister exclaimed. "Mom said you're sleeping on her couch, but you cannot fool me. I guess, she had a… sickness… only you could cure. Good job, Shelly."

"Missy.", he huffed. "Amy was sick. And I did sleep on her couch… mostly. Now what do you want?"

"Well…", she said, and she sounded as if she was holding back laughter. "I wanted to call her and ask if she needed anything, but it sounds like she already has everything she needs. Bye, Sheldon. Have fun."

With that, the line was disconnected again, and Sheldon put the phone on the nightstand.

"Good morning.", he heard a gentle voice then and he turned his head to be met with Amy's beautiful smile.

"Hey…", he whispered. "I answered your phone. It was loud, and I did not want you to wake up."

"S'okay.", she mumbled. But she still looked incredibly tired. "Did you sleep okay?"

"I slept very well.", he admitted. It was true, he hadn't slept this well in months.

He wrapped his arms around her and she snuggled into his chest.

"Mhmm…", she mumbled sleepily. "So did I. I could get used to this."

"Well maybe you should.", he answered before he could think about it.

She seemed to freeze in his arms, before she untangled herself only slightly and looked up to him.

"Seriously?", she gasped. "You want to… make this a habit?"

He gulped.

It really had been nice, waking up with her and seeing her first thing in the morning. But it felt so intimate. And technically, they had only been on two dates.

"Would that be something you could agree on?", he asked tentatively.

"Is this because of my nightmare?", she clarified. "Do you feel the need to protect me from it… and make me feel safe? Or… do you want it, because you enjoyed sleeping next to me?"

He pondered it for a few moments.

"Can it be a bit of both?", he finally asked her. "I do want to protect you and chase your nightmares away. But I also really enjoy waking up like this. More than I expected."

She seemed to study him for a second, before she finally rested her head on his chest again.

"In that case, you can stay over as often as you want to.", she mumbled.

"Good.", he smiled.

'As often as you want to.'

He would have to ask her to make space for all his pajamas and some of his day clothes. He wouldn't need them at his mother's house anymore.

She yawned deeply then, and Sheldon closed his eyes again too. This was very unlike him, but maybe, there were worse things than sleeping in on a Sunday with his favorite person in his arms.

They slept almost until lunchtime and then spent a lazy few hours together in their pajamas, playing games from meemaw's game collection, eating leftovers from the day before and talking about the upcoming competition.

"Hey, what happened to choir practice on Friday?", Amy suddenly asked alarmed. "Please don't tell me they had to skip it because of me."

"Don't worry about the choir.", Sheldon calmed her down. "Jared is handling it. And he will handle it again later this afternoon."

Jeremy had requested this additional choir practice, "to help Ruth and Daniel catch up with our progress" and no one had vetoed it, so Sheldon had seen no reason to turn him down.

"But…", Amy protested. "I am healthy again. I don't think my voice is strong enough to sing yet, but you should absolutely go."

"No, Amy.", he insisted. "You might be healthy again, but at least today, you should still rest a little. What if you need anything? I promised to stay with you for however long it takes."

She looked at him seriously. "You really mean that, don't you?", she said softly. "You are willing to stay here for as long as I want you to."

"Of course.", he shrugged. "Why would I say something and then not follow through?"

She bit her lips as she studied him.

"Sheldon… I think we should have our third date tonight."

Now that was confusing.

"You're not making sense.", he shook his head. "How are we supposed to go on a date? You might be healthy again, but you are in no state to go out. And you want me to go to choir practice, so I have no time to plan a date."

"Easy.", she said firmly. "We're having our date here. You can go to choir practice, and I will prepare everything while you are away. I'll make dinner. And we planned to go see a movie, so we'll watch one here instead."

A third date at her place. Oh, it sounded tempting. Too tempting.

"Amy…", he wanted to protest. But he couldn't find the words.

"No, just listen.", she insisted. "I am not suggesting… to take things to the next level. You were right when you said a third date shouldn't automatically mean that we have to. I am suggesting dinner and a movie. A kiss good-night, or maybe a few of them. And then you can stay over again if you want. In my bed if you're comfortable. But we don't need to do anything else... unless we both want to of course."

He breathed out. "You're sure this is a good idea?", he asked, and she nodded.

"I do.", she said firmly.

"Well alright.", he conceded and kissed her cheek softly. Despite the obvious things that were making him nervous, dinner and a movie at her place sounded like a perfect evening. "It's a date."

Going to the choir without Amy was strange, even though he enjoyed getting some fresh air and a distraction before their date that night.

As he took the baton, like so often before, he looked over this group of people that had grown on him so much these past months.

Missy who, after finally dissolving her marriage, looked happier than he had ever seen her. And he smiled at the thought of her two children at home, who would have a very different future now without their evil stepfather.

Jared, who had finally freed himself from the fear he had probably felt ever since he was a teenager and Jeremy, who's relationship with his son had visibly become much healthier.

Olivia, who had come out of her shell and made friends with the other members of the choir. And it seemed, she had learned to smile, now that she was no longer trying to be the perfect image of a pastor's wife.

Billy, well, he had always been Billy. But ever since he had been one of the first to step up and protect Missy, the other members treated him with much more respect, and he seemed to like that.

And of course, Ruth and Daniel. They were still hiding it, but Sheldon could see the stolen glances and the soft smiles they gifted each other.

And then there was him. Himself and Amy.

A few years ago, Sheldon had read a quote from a movie. A quote, he had always felt, was ridiculously cheesy and stupid.

It was about a man who's life goal it was to create music to open people's hearts so they could find Heaven on Earth.

And maybe, he really should get checked for a brain tumor, but in that moment, he realized, this was exactly what all of them, in this choir, had done ever since he had joined them.

He knew, if it weren't for that, none of them would be where they were now.

And even if this, leading a choir and writing music, would never be his life goal, he would always be grateful for this experience that had made his life so much richer.

Just as he started walking back to Amy's place, his sister appeared beside him.

"Big date tonight, huh?", she asked and winked at him.

He turned to her. How could she possibly know that?

"What would make you say this?", he implored.

She grinned at him.

"Georgie was on the phone with Amy earlier. I don't want to ruin the surprise, but I think you will enjoy this evening."

Georgie had talked to Amy? Oh no, he only hoped she hadn't been given "the talk" as well.

"We're having dinner and watching a movie. Of course I will enjoy this evening. It's nothing we haven't done before.", he told her as casually as possible.

"Alright.", Missy nodded, still grinning. "Then would you care to explain why you answered Amy's phone this morning?"

He groaned.

Fortunately, they arrived at their houses shortly after.

"Bye, Shelly.", Missy said and hugged him. "Have a nice evening. You deserve it. Both of you."

Sheldon returned the hug.

Yes, he would try to just have a nice evening. But he was a bit more nervous than he liked to admit.

A date at Amy's place with Amy cooking dinner for him. Watching a movie on the couch. Staying over at her place after that.

Without expectations of course, but he knew a thing or two about probabilities and statistics and they spoke volumes tonight.

"Keep it together.", he told himself. "Just enjoy the night. Do not overthink this. Let things happen – or not happen – naturally."

He took a deep breath, before he opened the door.

And then, he was hit with a familiar, very pleasant smell.

He went to the kitchen, and when he saw Amy, his nervousness was replaced with sheer happiness and confidence. It was crazy, the effect she had on him.

"You made spaghetti with cut up hot dogs for me?", he asked in awe.

She smiled at him brightly. "Yeah. Connie used to mention how you loved to eat this. Sometimes she asked me to make it for her, just because it reminded her of you."

Oh, meemaw… He pictured it in his mind. Amy and meemaw at the table, sharing this meal. Meemaw sharing stories about him.

"This is unfair.", he protested nonetheless. "You have all this inside information about me."

She chuckled. "That's right. I will spoil you rotten. And there isn't anything you can do about it."

He walked up to her and kissed her lips softly.

"As long as you use that power for good things only, I guess I am okay with that.", he murmured.

And, he did not say it, but he planned to do the same for her. With or without inside information. He would learn how to make this woman as happy as humanly possible. And he would let nothing get in the way of that.

As they sat down at the table, it wasn't that much different to all the other times when they had sat here together.

The conversation was flowing easily. And the food… oh, it was delicious. Similar to how he knew it, but also…

"Did you use 'Mama Italia Marinara Sauce?", he asked. "Because there is something to it I cannot quite place."

"Do you not like it?", she asked, and she looked a little concerned.

"No, I love it.", he reassured her. "It tastes amazing. Did you add something to the sauce?"

"I made it from scratch.", she finally admitted. "It's a recipe I learned when I lived in Italy for a while. Connie and I adjusted it to taste more similar to the sauce you know. But I used more herbs."

Sheldon nodded. She had done it again. Made something better that he already thought was pretty good.

"I also made the pasta from scratch.", she told him. And now, she looked more than a little proud.

"I thought there was something different to it. It's perfect.", he told her. "But Amy, you really did not have to do so much for me."

"You didn't have to do so much for me either.", she shrugged.

He was about to tell her, he liked doing things for her, but he was sure, she knew that. And she would tell him she liked doing things for him. Which he also knew. So, this conversation would be redundant.

"Thank you.", he just settled on saying instead. "Everything tastes amazing. And I really appreciate this."

He ended up eating three plates full of the perfect dish, and when Amy mentioned she had made chocolate mousse from an original French recipe, he had to tell her, there was no way he could eat it right now.

Amy put the leftover pasta into the fridge and Sheldon put the empty dishes into the sink to soak, before they went to the living room.

Once again, Sheldon was pleasantly surprised.

"I sent Georgie to the video store.", she explained as Sheldon looked at the various DVDs. "He was happy to do this for us, especially when he heard, we were having a date tonight. I asked him to choose movies that you liked."

"But you're not into any of them.", he protested.

There was 'Lord of the Rings' – the first movie, the Matrix trilogy, 'Star Wars - Episode 4' and the newest 'Star Trek'-movie.

"It doesn't matter.", Amy said simply.

"Of course it does.", he insisted. "You should enjoy our date just as much as I do."

"Sheldon.", Amy sighed. "You've taken me to 'Harry Potter in Concert'. And to the State Fair. You've spent two nights on a couch while I was sick, even though you're a germaphobe. You've cooked and cleaned for me. Read to me, helped me bathe. Fed me medicine. You've held me last night because of a nightmare. Please. Let me do something nice for you in return. Please. Be selfish for once."

He had to restrain himself to not burst into laughter.

Be selfish for once.

If only his former friends could have heard that. They would not believe it.

"Alright.", he smiled at her. "In that case, let's watch 'Lord Of The Rings'."

He didn't tell her, but he assumed, it would be the movie she would enjoy the most of the four she had offered him.

As soon as they had taken their seats on the couch, he took her hand in his. It was date night after all. And he wanted that to be noticeable.

But it did not take long, not even until Frodo Baggins had been chosen to take the one ring to Mordor, that none of them paid any attention to the movie anymore.

Sheldon did not know what had come over him. So many emotions were boiling inside of him, fighting to come to the surface, as he cupped her face and kissed her lips softly.

Gratitude. Not just for the efforts she had put into this evening. But also, for the fact that they had found each other again. That she was willing to put her trust in him and had welcomed him back into her life with open arms.

Admiration. For this woman. For her patience. Her intelligence. Her ability to understand him like no one else did. For the things she made him feel.

Excitement. Because there they were again, kissing as if there was no tomorrow. Tonight, there would be no one to interrupt them. No one who expected him to come back home. No other obligations or appointments in the morning. There were no limits to what could happen between them tonight, other than the ones they would set themselves.

And another emotion. One he had identified a while ago but wasn't able to say out loud yet. Not because he was afraid, but because he did not know how or when it was appropriate.

He tried to put his all into kissing her. To let her feel all his emotions without using words to describe them. To make understand, how much this, no, how much she meant to him. And how overjoyed he was to be spending this evening with her.

Their kisses started out slowly and gently, but they escalated quickly and soon, he could no longer tell where he ended and where she began. They were completely entangled with each other. Their mouths moving over each other hotly, his hands on her back underneath her blouse, her hands gripping his hair.

Oh, he was living for this. His fingers tracing her soft skin. The hotness of her breath. The taste of her tongue.

The way she moaned, when he moved to her neck and kissed her there.

'Calm down', he kept telling himself. 'Move slowly. You've got all night. Don't rush it. Control yourself.'

All too soon, the credits rolled and finally, he pulled himself away from her.

"So, uhm… that was interesting.", he mumbled.

She giggled. "I'd say this was sensational. I'll gladly watch any science fiction movie with you, if it always ends like this."

He pulled her to his chest and hugged her tightly. Once again feeling grateful for having her back, Once again marveling how natural all of this felt with her.

"Do you want to…", he started.

"Have chocolate mousse now?", she interrupted him. "Great idea. It's not getting any better sitting in the fridge."

This was not what he had wanted to ask her.

'…move this to the bedroom.', he finished the sentence in his mind.

"Uhm… sure.", he answered, clearing his throat. "Sounds great."

It did sound great. Not as great as what he had in mind, but if that was what she needed right now, then he would not complain.

"You can pick the next movie, while I go put our dishes into the dishwasher. They have been soaking long enough and I like waking up to a clean kitchen. I'll bring the dessert, once I've finished everything."

She was talking faster than usual. Was she nervous?

"Or I could help you clean up.", he offered, but she shook her head.

"Sheldon, tonight you are my guest, not the person who's taking care of me. You sit back and relax. And I'll be back soon."

This was strange. Maybe she just needed a moment to herself.

And he could use a moment too, to cool down. He needed to control himself, especially if she was uncomfortable with how fast things were happening between them.

Maybe, they should really watch the next movie, instead of what they were doing before. And maybe after that, they should put on their pajamas and just sleep.

He smiled. Yes. There was no rush. If things would go the way he wanted them to go, they would have the rest of their lives for everything else.

After some consideration, he picked the first Matrix movie and put it into the DVD player.

Amy was still in the kitchen, probably finding more tasks to calm herself down, so he decided, he should do the same.

His eyes shifted to the cabinet where – as he knew now – Amy kept all her science magazines.

Yes, this was a good idea. Everything else usually vanished when he thought of science.

'Let's see…', he told himself as he browsed through the stacks of magazines.

There had to be at least a hundred of them.

He let his fingers wander over the backs of the magazines.

Neuron. Neuron. Neuron.

All of them. Nothing else.

How was that possible? He had to admit, if he had to read something biological, the brain was probably the most interesting thing to read about.

But she had to have something else somewhere. Maybe even… something physics related?

He opened one of the drawers at the top of the cabinet.

'Jackpot.', he thought, as he found seven more magazines in there.

But his joy was short lived.

Neuron. Again.

He groaned as he looked at them.

But wait. The others had been perfectly organized by date of publication. These seven issues seemed to be picked out randomly. They were all published sometime fourteen to ten years before.

Why would she keep those separately?

Of course. Those had to be her favorites. It was the only thing that made sense.

He took one of them and skimmed through it, hoping to find out, what – in her mind – made it stand out.

To his luck, she had marked a page and soon, he found himself mesmerized what he was reading.

No wonder, she had marked it. Even if it was biology, he could hardly pull away from it. It as simply brilliant. The study it was based upon was conducted so meticulously and all the arguments were concise and straight to the point. The conclusion left nothing to wish for. It was exactly the kind of paper he would write himself, well, if he were a biologist of course.

But more than that. The way the paper was worded… there was something familiar about it. It felt as if he had read it before, which, of course, he knew he had not.

Why then did he feel this way? How could words from a neurobiological paper be this… comforting and yet fascinating? And why did it feel so… recognizable?

Was it possible he had collaborated with the author before?

No. He had never once worked with a Neurobiologist. He would remember. Not just because of his eidetic memory. But because he knew, even without it, he would remember working with someone who would be capable of writing this paper.

There was something special about this magazine.

He closed it and looked at the front page to find that the article was featured there.

Of course it was. It was exceptional.

There it was. In big letters.

Neural Systems Governed by Nicotinic Acetylcholine Receptors

Author: Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler

Wait. What?

Amy.

Amy Fowler? Amy Farrah Fowler?

Doctor Amy Farrah Fowler

No matter how often he read the name, the letters did not change. But… How?

It hit him like a ton of bricks. Bricks, his eidetic memory kept throwing at him.

Fowler. Amy. He had read both of these words in a document he had crafted months ago.

His Amy. Oh, how could he not have realized this?

"You are a ridiculous science teacher."

"Go and collect some frogs to dissect and leave real science to people like me."

"You should get your PhD. I can help you study for it."

His face heated up in embarrassment. If only he had known.

Amy wasn't just a random scientist with a knack for Neurobiology. She was… she was brilliant. Extremely successful. And based on what he had just read, she was probably one of the best in her field.

That alone shouldn't surprise him this much, he realized. He had noticed often before, how intelligent she was.

But then, as if this hadn't been enough already, his eidetic memory chose to throw another brick at him.

In the form of a conversation with two of his former friends. About a woman, they claimed was scientifically chosen to be his perfect mate.

Her name is Amy Farrah Fowler.

How could he have missed that?

How could he not have connected the dots much, much sooner?

And then came the next brick. That one hit him straight in his chest.

"One day, it was a little more than nine years ago, I was supposed to meet someone. But that person did not show up."

"And then… I was… I was mugged."

No. No, no, no.

He could see it clearly in his mind. Amy being hit over the head with a gun. Left alone in a dark alley.

She had lost quite a bit of blood, he remembered her telling him that. And she had suffered a concussion.

The man who had attacked her, had left her there in that ally. Not caring if she would bleed out. Not caring if she would die.

All because… because she was out alone late at night because he hadn't agreed to meet her?

Dear Lord. He had refused to meet her. He had refused to meet Amy. Ten years ago.

Why the hell had he not agreed to meet her?

"Sheldon? Is everything alright? You look like you've seen a ghost.", he heard her voice from a distance.

He looked up from the magazine, feeling dizzy. His head was spinning.

"Your middle name is Farrah. And you have a doctorate. You are Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler."

"The one and only.", she joked as she came closer. "But what's so upsetting about that?"

"The day you were stood up. When you were mugged. Was it May 24, 2010?", he implored.

"Yes, Sheldon, but… why do you ask me this now?" A worried expression was forming on her face.

"It was me…", he croaked as he saw his suspicion confirmed. "I was the one who stood you up. I am the reason you were attacked and left in an alley. I… I…"

"Sheldon, please calm down.", he could barely hear her against the ringing in his ears, and when she touched his hand, he backed away from her.

A myriad of thoughts hit him all at once.

Amy leaving California. Amy stepping away from science. Despite being so brilliant, as proven by the paper he just read. Amy running from her old life because of a near-death experience.

All because oh him.

"It's my fault.", he whispered. "Oh, Amy, I am so sorry. I can't believe…"

"Stop it, Sheldon.", she said, talking to him in a soothing voice. "It's not your fault. Your friends scheduled that date, remember. You didn't even know it was still on. You are not to blame for any of it. Please calm down."

"How can you…", he stared at her in shock. "Amy, you should be furious with me. Because of me, you quit science. Because of me, you uprooted your whole life. How can you stay so calm about this?"

Only now he realized, she hadn't even asked him to explain. So, another brick hit him, just as she told him.

"Sheldon… I am not upset. Because I knew it was you."