CHAPTER THREE
Months passed, and Jack and I spent most of our free time together. The kids were in kindergarten, and to their excitement, they were in the same class. I was grateful for that, as it made the transition easier for both Max and Alex.
Max rode the bus to my parent's house and spent the afternoons with his grandma until I got off work and picked him up. Some days we would meet Jack and Alex at my place or his or somewhere fun for the kids to play. On the days Jack had night shifts, Alex would ride the bus with Max and then spend dinner with us at my house.
This had become our routine, and I loved it. Two weeks after Jack had told me he loved me, I had finally been able to say the words to him and truly mean them. We had just had dinner at a local steak house, just the two of us, and as we spent twenty minutes kissing each other goodbye, I told him I loved him.
His reaction? He picked me up, spun around in about three circles, and right before he fell over from dizziness, he set me back on my feet. I do love him so much.
It had been six months since we'd met on that park bench, and despite the cold shoulder from me, Jack was persistent, and I was very thankful for that. Jack and I celebrated our birthdays, Thanksgiving had been spent split between our parents' homes, and Christmas was quickly approaching.
Jack and I had just returned to his house with an armload of gifts for the kids. We had plans to wrap them and get them under the tree before my mom dropped Max and Alex off after having watched them for the day to allow us to shop.
We'd been laughing at something when there was a knock at the door. I was sure it was my mother, so I hurried to let the kids in. When I opened the door, a woman stood before me. She was beautiful with long blond hair, a slender figure, and striking green eyes. She was wearing a body-hugging, knee-length dress and high heels. The smile on her face when I greeted her quickly faded as she saw Jack walking up behind me.
"Who the hell is this, Jack?" she asked loudly.
"JoAnn? What are you doing here?"
"JoAnn?" The name shot out of my mouth at a volume that even surprised me. Loudly. Very loudly.
Jack looked back and forth between us, unsure of what to say.
"Well, Jack. Are you going to answer me?" JoAnn asked sharply with her hands on her hips.
"I thought she was dead," I said as I crossed my arms.
"What?" Jack asked as he looked at me.
I spun around and stormed through the house, frantically searching for my keys and purse.
"JoAnn. Go. I don't want you here." Jack pointed outside and tried to push the door closed.
"I want to see my daughter."
"She's not here right now. Come back at seven."
I stood in the dining room, staring at the couple. I'm sure my face showed the complete shock I was in as I listened.
"She better be here when I return," JoAnn said with her finger in Jack's face. "And that bitch better be gone," she added as she pointed in my direction. "Stay away from my husband!" she shouted as Jack closed the door.
He ran across the room to me, stopping a few feet away.
"No!" I threw up my arms to keep him back. "I don't know what kind of game you're playing here, but I want no part of it. How could you do this to me and my son?" My voice was loud and filled with more anger than I'd ever felt in my life.
"I'm not playing any games. And what did you mean by you thought she was dead?"
"You told me she died!"
"No, I didn't."
"You did. At the park the first day we met. You were talking about Alex finally smiling and playing. You said, "after her mother..."
And that was the moment I realized my monumental mistake.
Left. He had only said she'd left. Oh, my God. What have I done?
Jack moved toward me and laid his hand on my arm. I jerked it away as I tried to process what had just happened. Then I realized something else she'd said.
"Did she just call you her husband?"
Jack swallowed hard and took my hands in his. "Yes, she did."
"Why? Why would she call you her husband?"
"Because legally, I am."
I jumped back as if his touch was a red-hot burner and wrapped my arms around myself. I felt as if I'd be sick. I held my abdomen, willing the vomit to stay away. I let out a breathy moan as my stomach did flip flops, threatening to spill out its contents.
"Beth, please, let me explain."
"Explain what? You're married! How could you do this?"
"It's not like that."
"Really? Then how is it? You're not really married?"
"Well, yes."
"Then that's exactly how it is! There is no other...way. You're either married or you're not. It's as simple as that."
I wanted out of that house. I wanted to run. But my mother would be there any minute with Max. Oh my God. Max. This will break his heart, too. And sweet little Alexandria.
"How could you do this to the kids?"
"Will you please let me explain?"
"What's there to explain? You're married, I'm now an adulteress, and you're a cheater. Oh my God, I've committed adultery." For some reason, this fact bothered me more than anything. I buried my fingers deep into my hair and paced the floor. "How could you do this to me?"
"JoAnn and I aren't together." Jack's eyes pleaded for me to listen and to try to understand. But I was so angry. "Beth, please," he begged.
"Please have Max's gifts sent over to my house with Lee. I don't want to see you ever again." I started toward the door, but Jack ran in front of me and blocked my path.
"I'm begging you, Elizabeth." Jack dropped to his knees and folded his hands in front of him. "Please don't go. Stay and let me explain."
"There is absolutely nothing you could say to fix this," I said as I stared at the door. I refused to make eye contact with this cheating bastard. I stepped around him, opened the door, and went outside. I glanced over my shoulder as I crossed the lawn to my car, and Jack was still on his knees in front of the doorway with his head down and his hands on his lap. "Serves him right," I said out loud. I got in my car, but before I drove away, I looked back at Jack one last time. He was still kneeling, his head in his hands now. For a brief moment, I wanted to run and console him. The urge was short lived, and instead, I drove away, vowing to never see him again.
...
I was getting ready to meet Rosemary and a few friends to celebrate my thirty-fifth birthday when someone knocked on my door.
"I'll get it," I called out to Max. "Finish packing your bag for Grandpa and Grandma Cooper's."
"Okay, Mom."
Maxwell's parents were taking their grandson for the weekend, and Max was beyond excited to spend time on the farm. They had horses, calves, pygmy goats, rabbits, dogs, and cats, and it was like a petting zoo for Max every time we visited. He had a blast, and each time he returned, we had to go through all the reasons why we couldn't have a pet of our own.
"Five minutes," I called out as a warning.
"Got it, Mom."
Max was eight – going on eighteen – and still the only man in my life. There was another knock at the door before I could make it there in time, so I hurried and opened it without checking the window to see who it was.
I froze. A police officer had his back facing me, but at the sound of the door, he spun around. It was Jack. Jack was standing in front of me in full uniform and was gripping the sides of his bulletproof vest as cops do. I prayed he wasn't there on official business, but at the same time, I hoped he was.
"Jack."
"Hi, Elizabeth."
"Is someone hurt?"
"What?" Jack looked down and realized what I must have thought. "Oh, gosh, no." He waved his hands in front of him. "No. I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."
You sure don't mean a lot of things. "Why are you here?"
Jack cleared his throat and rested his hands on his gun and taser on either side of his hips. Man, he was still sexy as ever in that uniform. His job scared me to death, but he looked so hot in those clothes. Focus, Beth. Good grief!
"I needed to see you."
"It's been nearly three years, Jack. Why now?" I didn't have time for this nonsense, and I glanced at my watch to let him know.
"I've pulled up to this house a couple of dozen times over the years but have never been able to make it to your door."
"So, you did it today. Congratulations. What do you want? An award for your bravery?" I chuckled on the inside at myself and enjoyed the hurt in his eyes over my snide remark.
Jack nodded his head. "I deserved that."
"Yeah, and a whole lot more." I crossed my arms, stood tall, kept my eyes from wandering, and waited for his next lame explanation. "Where's your wife?" Wow, that was extra snarky. I'm getting pretty good at this.
"I'm not married."
"Hmm, that's funny. Because the last time I saw you, I had just met your lovely and chipper wife. What a peach."
"The divorce is finally final."
"Okay. Good for you? I don't know what you want me to say here, Jack."
Jack turned away, took two steps, then turned back. "I don't want you to say anything. Not yet, anyway. Do you have a few minutes?"
"Not really, Jack. My in-laws are on their way here to get Max, and I'm on my way out."
I could see a change in Jack's expression. He looked as if someone had just kicked his favorite puppy, and I swear his body actually deflated a bit. I knew why. I had used the term in-laws, and he thought I was married. I saw no need to correct the misunderstanding.
"So, you're married?" he asked.
Damn it! I'm not going to lie; that's not me. "No. It's Max's grandparents."
"Oh, okay." Relief flashed across his eyes. He was so easy to read. "How is Max?"
I dropped my defenses a bit and answered him. "Max is doing great."
"Good. I'm glad to hear that."
"How's Alex?"
"She's perfect."
I looked at my watch again, let out a harsh breath, and stepped back. "Come inside."
Jack hurried in before I changed my mind and walked into the kitchen. "Thank you, Beth. This means a lot."
"Jack!" Max shouted and ran to him.
"Hey, Max-a-million. Wow, you're huge."
Max wrapped his arms around Jack's waist, and the two hugged. I turned away. I didn't want anything clouding my judgment as I listened to whatever Jack had to say.
"Knock, knock," Max's grandmother called out after she'd opened the front door.
"In here, Joy."
"Hi, Beth. Is Max ready? Hello," she said when she noticed Jack.
"Hi, Joy. This is Jack, my...friend."
"Hello, ma'am."
"Max, go grab your bag."
Once Max was sent on his way with his grandmother, I returned to the kitchen and poured two glasses of water. I pulled a stool to the opposite side of the island, wanting to avoid being near Jack, sat down, and waited.
"Okay. I'll just begin."
"Please do. I have a date tonight."
"Oh. I guess I...I'm sorry." Jack stood and turned toward the door.
"Jack, sit down. It's with Rosemary and some friends." I should have kept quiet and let him leave, but over the years, I had always wondered how he'd explain his way out of having a wife.
Jack slowly returned to his seat and took a long drink of water.
"First, I am so very sorry I hurt you and Max. It was never my intention, and I...I never wanted us to end." Jack blew out a long breath and squirmed in his seat. "JoAnn left when Alex was only nine months old. She said she wasn't ready to be a mother. We'd been married for four years before she got pregnant, and it was a surprise as the doctors told us she never would. I hadn't seen her for over a year, and then she returned. She seemed truly sorry and begged me to take her back. Well, I did, for Alexandria's sake. JoAnn was better, for a little while, anyway. Just before Alex's second birthday, JoAnn bolted again. This time, she never returned. I had no idea where she was or if she was even alive. I exhausted all my resources trying to find her, but she did not want to be found. I finally hired a lawyer to draw up divorce papers, and he had to attempt to find her and have her served with the papers before I could take it to court. That was three months before I met you."
I sat quietly, unpacking all this new information, while Jack waited patiently to see if I would respond. Well, shit. I can see why he didn't consider himself married. But that didn't change the fact that he was, and I was still mad. But... No buts!
"So, what happened when she showed up, and I was at your house?"
"She begged me to take her back. I said no. She begged me to allow her to move in so she could be near Alex. Again, I said no. She ended up staying at a friend's house that night, where my lawyer had her served the next morning. It took over two years to get it finalized because I had to fight for custody of Alex. Just when I thought JoAnn might win split custody, she took off again, and I haven't seen her since. I now have full custody, and JoAnn's parental rights have been stripped."
"I'm happy for you, Jack. I really am." I really was. JoAnn sounds awful, and although I think every child should know their mother, some are better off not being around them. Alex was a sweet girl and deserved to be loved and wanted.
"Thank you. It was long and tiring, but I'm glad it's finally over."
An awkward silence fell between us as we sat and drank our water. When my glass was empty, I retrieved the jug from the fridge and refilled it. "Want some more?"
"Sure." Jack pushed his glass across the tile and held it while I poured the water. "Do you think you could ever forgive me?"
I set the jug on the counter and held my glass with both hands. The week following JoAnn's return had been rough. My heart had been ripped from my chest, stomped on until it was unrecognizable, then shoved back in. That's my description of the pain, anyway. I had never felt such hate and anger for a person as I had Jack. Even Jason and Beau hadn't reached that part of me, but Jack...he went straight into the depths where the worst kind of anger resided.
And that's where he stayed. Where I thought he would stay. But now, after finally hearing his side of things all these years later, I thought maybe, just maybe, I might be able to forgive him. Except there was still one problem. One...giant...enormous...problem.
"You made me an adulteress."
"No. I don't think so."
"How could you not?"
"We were separated, and she'd been gone for years. We hadn't lived as husband and wife since Alex was nine months old. Even when she returned to try to reconcile, I made her sleep in the spare bedroom until she could prove to me that she'd really changed. We would have been divorced if we could have found her. And to be honest, I haven't thought of her as my wife for years. In my head, I was already divorced. I guess I'd tricked my mind into thinking I already was."
"But you couldn't find her. So, you were still married. Even if in your mind and heart you weren't, by law, you were. You made me an adulteress, and I don't know if I can ever forgive you for that."
"I'm so sorry, Beth."
There it was – my name on his lips. I loved how it sounded and how easily it rolled off his tongue. I had missed that sound more than I ever thought I would. I missed his arms around me, his warm breath on my neck, and, oh my God, the lovemaking. It was mind-blowing. And those lips. Those soft, warm, sweet lips. Man, did he know how to use them.
"Beth?"
"Huh?"
"Did you hear me?"
"What did you say?"
"I said I should get going so you can meet Rosie before she gets antsy."
"Oh, yeah." I looked at my watch, and I was already thirty minutes late.
"Wait, isn't today your birthday?"
"Yes, that's why I'm going out with the girls."
"Happy birthday, Beth. I hope you get everything you wish for."
"Thank you, Jack." If only you knew what I was wishing for right now. Good grief, Beth. Keep focused. But he looks so good. I tore that uniform off him so many times, and my mind was doing it again.
We stood, and I followed him to the door. He opened it and stepped outside, then turned toward me. "I want you to know one more thing."
"Okay."
"I'm still madly in love with you, and there have been no other women since you."
This news astonished me; it felt as if someone had squeezed my lungs, pressing all the air from them. A man as sweet and sexy as Jack could have any woman he wanted. But he wanted me. Even after all this time, he'd waited and held on tightly to that tiny grasp of hope that was barely within his reach.
Jack turned and began walking away with his hands shoved into his pockets.
"Jack." What are you doing?
He quickly turned around and crossed the sidewalk back to me. His eyes were filled with hope, and it seemed as if they were begging me to take him back. I let out a breath as my eyes dropped to his mouth.
"Jack, please give me some time."
"Yes, of course. I hope you have a great birthday."
"Thank you," I said before he started walking away again. "Jack." When he turned around, I was already in front of him. "I still love you, too."
His eyes were windows to his soul. Confusion flashed across them, then hope, love, desire, and back to confusion. He didn't know what to do with this information, and I could see that he was trying to figure out how to react. So, I did it for him. I laid my hand on his chest, which was covered with his bulletproof vest, leaned in, and kissed his cheek.
"What now?" he asked, staring longing into my eyes.
"I don't know."
"May I hug you...for your birthday?"
"Yes."
Jack wrapped his arms around me. And there were those arms. They felt so good and so safe. I never wanted him to let go. Man, I was so mad at him. I lost almost three years that we could have been together. Maybe we would have been married by now and had another child. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the now. He was here, trying his hardest, and I wanted so badly to forgive him and forget about the time we'd lost. I breathed in deeply, knowing what that would do. Obsession. He was wearing it as always, even after all these years. And he knew what that did to me. I was sure he was mindful of that and sprayed it on purposefully, hoping it would draw me in – one more deep breath before he left.
"Can I see you again?" he asked as he stepped back.
He wasn't pushing his luck and gave me my needed space. But I had requested time. Did I really need it? What difference would it make if we got back together today or two months from now? I knew I loved him, and he loved me. I could see in his eyes how genuinely sorry he was. I believed every word he told me because it made sense. It was my fault for misunderstanding him when he clearly said she'd left. All I could think about right now was his lips. I wanted to feel the warmth of his kiss and loving arms around me once more. I knew he loved me, and he showed me every day when we were together. I missed that, too, all the sweet little gestures he did to remind me what I'd meant to him. A rose – just because, breakfast in bed, his hand on the small of my back as we walked down a sidewalk.
And we'd already lost so much time.
My head and my heart were battling it out like two country's army regiments rushing the field toward one another. My head clearly told me to walk away, while my heart said stay. I was usually one to listen to my head until Jack came into my life. With him, my heart won every time.
I took a step closer, and his eyes nervously scanned my face. I gripped the edges of the arm holes of the vest and pulled him down until our lips met. God, he was amazing. It was as if no time had passed. His arms moved around me and drew me closer. His tongue brushed across mine. Hmmm, mint. He'd just popped an Altoid before getting out of his car. I had missed this so much. My heart pounded so hard it was beginning to ache, and I took a step back and laid my hand on my chest.
Jack was staring at me with those beautiful eyes. "Are you okay?"
Geez, his voice was a melody in my ear.
"Yes. I am now."
...
When I stepped out of the bar that evening, I dug through my purse, trying to find my phone. I looked around, but there was no sign of my Uber. Where is my phone? Finally finding it, I opened the app to see that the driver had canceled.
Damn it! What now? I looked around as I tried to figure out how to get home. Rosie had already left, Faith was inside with her boyfriend with no plans on leaving yet, and Sasha and Lisa were too drunk to drive. I stared at my phone and flipped through my contacts. Whoa. I staggered slightly until I caught my balance again. That last shot of Bailey's had put me over the top. Thanks a lot for that, Rosie. I stopped scrolling and stared at his name. I can't. Dragging my finger across the screen, many names floated by, but no one I wanted to call. Well, shit. I went back to his name.
"Beth?"
Crap. Had he been asleep? I hadn't even thought about that. "Sorry to wake you. Just go back to sleep."
"No. No. I'm up. What is it?"
"Well, ummm."
"Are you home?"
"Not exactly."
"You're drunk."
Man, he is good at his job.
"Where are you? I'm on my way."
How does he do that?
"I'm at Joe's."
"I'll be there in five."
"But you're...hello?" I looked at my phone, and the call had ended. "Hang up on me then. And wait, you're over ten minutes away."
"Who are you talking to?"
I turned to find Faith staring at me. I started giggling and covered my mouth. "I guess I'm a bit tipsier than I originally thought." My words were very slow and slurred. No wonder Jack knew I was drunk. It was plain as day to even me.
"I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Where's your Uber?"
"He's on his way," I grinned.
"Okay, Beth," Faith said and patted my back. "Why don't you wait inside with us?"
"No. I'm fine. It's nice out, and I need the fresh air."
"Are you sure?"
"Yep."
"Happy birthday, Beth," she said and hugged me.
I leaned against the brick wall of the little pub; I needed the extra support. I checked the time, and three minutes had passed since Jack hung up the phone. "He won't be here in two more minutes. There's no way."
"Who won't?" a low, gravelly voice asked.
I turned my head to find a man in his twenties next to me. "What?"
"You said he won't be here in two minutes. Who won't."
"No one. I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" He took a step closer toward me.
"I said I'm fine," I answered sternly. "Now move on."
"Well, I just thought you might be looking for a good time, and so am I. Maybe we can find one together."
"Wow. Is that the kind of lines you boys are using these days?" I pushed myself off the wall, but I shouldn't have. The sudden movement flooded my head with a dizziness that almost sent me over.
"Whoa," he said and grabbed my arm to steady me. "And believe me, I am no boy," he said into my ear.
"Hey." I pushed him back, but that only made me lose my balance. I stumbled, and he caught me, bringing me back to my feet.
"Come with me," he said, trying to lead me away from the bar.
"No. I'm waiting for my ride." I tried to break free, but his grip was too strong.
"I'll give you a ride." He eyed me up and down. "You are one hot mama."
He gripped onto both of my arms and pulled me toward him like he was about to kiss me. Instinctively, I lifted my knee fast and hard and caught him square in the groin. He dropped to the sidewalk like a sack of potatoes – if a sack of potatoes cried out like a little child, that is.
"Beth!"
Jack was by my side and pushed his way in between me and the punk. He bent down, grabbed the guy by the shirt collar, and lifted him to his feet. He pushed him back and pinned him against the wall.
"Don't you ever lay your hands on a woman in this state again. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, officer. Sorry." The fear in the man's voice was evident, and it was then I noticed Jack was still in his uniform.
"I should arrest you."
"I'm sorry. It will never happen again."
Jack released him and pushed him away from the bar. "Get out of here, and I never want to see your piece of shit face around here again. Take your sleazy friends with you."
"Yes, sir." The man couldn't get out of there fast enough as he ran off.
"Are you alright, Beth?" Jack held me up and looked into my eyes. "Baby, you're drunker than I thought you were."
Jack was right. The night had ended with my four friends each buying me a birthday shot, and as I had been standing outside, they began taking their full effect on my motor skills. And my stomach. I ran to a nearby bush, and everything spilled out onto its leaves and the dirt below. I felt Jack's hands pull my hair back and hold it while I vomited two more times. Such a gentleman.
"Why did you let yourself get this drunk?" he asked me while I wiped my mouth. "You never drink this much."
I shrugged my shoulders and grinned. "It's my birthday. I was just having fun."
"I guess. Let's get you home." Jack held me up as he led me to his car.
"So, that's how you got here so fast." His patrol SUV was sitting along the curb with the lights flashing. I hadn't even noticed them until now. I also hadn't seen the crowd that had gathered around, clearly drawn in by the activity. "Great, now everyone is watching," I said as he eased me into the back seat. "Arrest me, officer." I held my hands out with my wrist together and giggled as Jack smiled and pushed my legs in.
"I'll take care of that at home," he grinned and winked.
My heart raced at the thought. Wow, this man knows how to get me wound up. But then, all he had to do was look at me with that glint in his eyes.
I rested my head back as Jack drove me home. The windows were opened slightly, and the cool breeze felt great on my face. I hadn't drunk that much since college, and I knew I'd be paying for it in the morning. I closed my eyes and willed the nausea to stay away. I must have fallen asleep, or passed out, however you want to look at it, because when I opened my eyes, I was in Jack's arms, and he was carrying me into my house.
"My knight in shining armor," I said aloud. Yes, I had my knight. He just wasn't how I'd pictured him when I was twelve. He was so much better.