Thank you for all the reviews. I'm really glad that so many of you are enjoying this one. It's been a lot of fun writing through the eyes of Elizabeth.
CHAPTER FOUR
The following day, I woke with the worse headache. I thought my head must be locked in a vice, and someone was standing beside it, cranking it until my skull exploded. Sorry to be so graphic, but that is precisely how I felt.
I sat up, too quickly, of course, and grabbed my head in an attempt to stop the room from spinning. How did I get home? I tried to remember the events from the evening, but everything was a blur. Had Jack been there? I looked down and saw that I was wearing the oversized shirt I liked sleeping in. What the hell happened? I reached under it with my hand. Phew. My underwear was still on. Thank God! I looked around the room, and, oh my God, there was Jack.
What happened? Why is he here?
He was still in his uniform pants and a plain white T-shirt. His work shirt was draped over the arm of the chair he was sleeping in. With his legs out straight and crossed at the ankles, his hands folded and resting on his stomach, he looked so peaceful while he slept. He always had. There had been many mornings I woke before him, and I would just lie there and watch him sleep.
As I keep mentioning, he's such a gentleman. He could have just as easily fallen asleep in the bed with me, but he hadn't. He was in the chair as if he was keeping watch over me.
My clothes from that evening were folded and lying on the dresser. I couldn't believe he'd taken the time to do that. I noticed an awful taste in my mouth, and then suddenly, as if an instant replay camera was turned on, I remembered throwing up in the bushes. Oh my God. I threw up in front of Jack. How freaking embarrassing. Ugh. I buried my face in my hands and tried to turn the movie of last night off.
I need to brush my teeth before he wakes up. I eased out of bed, trying very carefully to miss that movement that had always caused my bed to squeak. And there it was – that damn squeak. I looked at Jack, but he just rolled his shoulders, turned his head to the side, and remained asleep. Good.
I brushed my teeth and hair, freshened up the best I could without taking a shower, and stepped back into my room. Jack. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with a smile.
"Good morning, Beth."
Well, just melt my heart. My name on his lips, that smile on his face, and he was on my bed. I missed having him in my life. Those six months had been the best months in a long time. Max had been my life and my love, and I never worried about anything with Max. He loved me, and I'd known it from the beginning. I had felt it with my whole being. But Jack's love had been different. Not better, not worse, just different. So different, that it was hard to compare the two. As I've said before, Jack was exciting in a way that Max hadn't been. Max was safe, solid, and always there for me. And so is Jack. I wanted him so badly right now. But could I?
Yes. Yes, I could.
I crossed the room and didn't stop until I was directly in front of him. I spread his legs apart and stepped in between them. Jack stared up at me, and the look was there. The one that told me just how much he loved and wanted me. And I was sure the same image was in my eyes, staring back at him.
Jack slid his hands down the back of my thighs. Oh, how I had longed to feel his hands on my skin again. I briefly closed my eyes and enjoyed the electricity that flowed down my legs. When I opened them, Jack pressed his cheek against my stomach and moved his arms around me. I buried my fingers into the back of his hair, and we stayed that way for a moment. The thankfulness we both felt for being back in each other's life could have been felt by anyone nearby.
Jack tipped his head back, and I bent down until our mouths connected. His lips are so wonderful. I never wanted him to stop kissing me. Jack twisted my body and pulled me down until I was sitting across his lap. He eased his hand along my thigh and continued up until his fingertips were just under the elastic of my panties. Our lips were still joined, never wanting to part. His tongue danced with mine, and our hearts seemed to be in a dead heat to see whose would burst first.
Jack's other hand was under my shirt and pressed against the small of my back. I could feel his fingers move and press into my skin as he continuously tried to bring our bodies closer. He pulled his hand off my hip and slid it along my cheek. Finally separating his lips from mine, he stared into my eyes.
"I love you so much, Beth. I'm so sorry we lost so much time together."
"Let's start making up for it." If I could see the look in my eyes the way Jack saw it, I'm certain it was the same look in front of me. Hunger, eagerness, love, and desire: all were swirling together like a mad hurricane.
Jack's hand on my back moved around to my waist as he tightened his arm around me. He stood and turned and, in one motion, carried me up the bed until my head rested on my pillow. His body was above mine as he captured my mouth with his. I felt his hips press into mine as he lowered his weight onto me. He was ready for me, and I was beyond ready for him. I could feel the fire burning between my legs, and only Jack could extinguish it. I pulled his shirt up, and Jack reached behind his head, gripped the fabric, and pulled the shirt off. My eyes dropped, and scanned his fit body.
I missed his body. Oh, how I missed everything about him. Almost three years is what we'd lost. So much time was gone that we'll never get back. Vanished like a thief in the night. Time did that, stole things from you that you can't ever retrieve. But we can do our best to try to make up for it, and that's what we did that morning. We made love to each other – slow, deliberate, and passionate love. We couldn't get enough of one another. Not a single word was spoken aloud, but conversations that could fill an epic novel were shared in our glances, our touches, and our bodies coming together.
It seemed like a lifetime had passed since we'd been with each other, but at the same time, it felt like yesterday. I lay in his arms, and he held me tightly against him as if he thought he might lose me again. My birthday wish had come true. No, it wasn't to have him in bed, though that was a great bonus. But it was to have him back in my life.
The void that had appeared that day when I walked away from him was vast and deep. It had never gone away, and I hid it behind me, trying not to look back. But occasionally, on a day I would least expect it, I glanced over my shoulder, forgetting about what was hidden behind me, and the darkness would threaten to suck me in. Most times, I had the strength to look away, but there had been a few that I hadn't been strong enough to resist, and I would fall into its spell again.
I looked up to ensure I wasn't dreaming, and the man who held me brushed the stray hairs from my face. Before I pulled my gaze away, he tenderly kissed my forehead. God, I loved it when he did that. I looked down at his chest and abs and traced his defined muscles with my finger. I followed each valley that formed the rectus abdominis - I learned that during one of the ad campaigns we'd done for a gym franchise – better known as a six-pack, and then followed the trail that led downward.
As my hand slipped beneath the sheet, I rolled onto my stomach and moved over Jack. His body made my frame seem small, and I barely covered him as he moved his arms around me and began kissing me again.
I'm fairly certain the love we shared was pulled straight from the movies. I mean, it had to be. This wasn't real, was it? If you remove the little fact that he was married when we first met, and it slipped his mind to share it, he was absolutely perfect. Perfect men do not exist. But here he was. God's greatest sculpture. He broke the mold when he was finished with Jack. This man did things to me while we made love that I didn't know was possible. I know I'm a lucky woman. I'll be the first to admit it. I'm not trying to make anyone jealous; that is not my intention. I just know good fortune when I see it.
...
I retraced his abs as I lay beside him. It felt so good to have him back in my life, and I don't just mean in bed. Get your mind out of the gutter. I felt so safe with him. Maybe it was because he's a police officer, or maybe because he's built like a Mac truck, or perhaps because I knew he'd do absolutely anything for Max and me. Or possibly all of the above. Whatever the reason, I felt at home in his arms.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked me.
As I tipped my head back to answer him, Jack pressed his index finger beneath my chin and kissed me. It was the most tender, softest, sexiest, most loving kiss I had ever had. Oh, what this man does to me should be outlawed.
"You."
"What about me?"
"You make me feel safe and at home."
Jack moved down and rolled to his side to lay eye-to-eye with me. A chunk of hair had fallen across my face, and Jack pushed it behind my ear. "I always want you to feel that way with me."
"Did I call you last night?"
Jack chuckled when he realized I hadn't remembered much and proceeded to fill me in. "My shift had just ended when you called. I was still in my patrol unit, so I flipped the lights on and rushed over there. I could tell you were drunk but hadn't expected what I found."
"What do you mean?"
"You could barely stand up. And a guy was trying to drag you away."
My brow furrowed into that ugly wrinkled-up mess that it does when I'm confused about something. Do you know what I mean? Your eyes squint, your eyebrows pinch together, and you gain five lines across your forehead you didn't even know existed. Yep, that's what my face did.
But then my eyes went as wide as an unsuspecting waitress's, who'd just gotten pinched on the ass when I remembered the twenty-something's advances that prior evening.
"Oh, I kneed him in the crotch."
"You sure did. It was awesome."
Jack's chuckle when he said that last word caused it to vibrate as it passed over his lips. He's just adorable.
"Do you think he's okay?"
"Baby, only you would be worried about the asshole that tried to seduce you. I'm sure he's fine, but I'm hoping he's still nursing his wounds."
And the dimples came out to play. I lifted my hand to his cheek and pressed my thumb into the small crease.
"What are you doing?" Jack asked me.
"I love your dimples." My eyes moved to his lips, and I just had to taste them one more time. After we parted, I looked into his hazel eyes. "Thank you for saving me."
"It didn't look like you needed saving, but you're welcome for driving you home."
"Why did you sleep on the chair?"
"I didn't think I was welcome in your bed. Yet." He grinned at that last part.
"Hmmm, yes. I guess you are."
"Yep, I guess I am."
"I am so glad you came back. I missed you so much."
"I missed you, too, Baby. You have no idea how badly I've wanted to knock on your door. But until the custody hearing and divorce were final, I just couldn't."
"I know. Alex comes first."
"Yes, that, and I wanted to make sure that I did not have a wife the next time I saw you."
"Oh, that."
"Yeah."
"Why didn't you tell me about JoAnn three years ago?"
"I did. Sort of. Those first few weeks at the park, I had mentioned her, but when you didn't respond, I thought maybe she was a topic you didn't want to discuss. I know now you weren't listening."
"I'm so sorry about that, Jack. I never dreamt we'd end up together."
"I know."
"So, we're both at fault over the biggest miscommunication ever."
"I guess you could say that. But I should have been more open about her. I should have made certain you'd heard me and knew the facts about that part of my life."
"Yes, you should have."
I was teasing him now, and he knew it. He was on top of me in one swift motion, tickling my ribs until I screamed, which didn't take much.
...
The excitement on Max's face when he saw Jack at the house was more than any mother could wish for. He looked back and forth between us, and when he noticed my hand was in Jack's, he lost it. He jumped into my arms, hugged me tighter than ever, and then did the same to Jack. Max had missed Jack terribly. He had become the father figure Max had always wanted, so when Jack was gone, Max fell into a funk that lasted longer than mine. Although he was still able to see Alexandria at school, he missed their playdates horribly. He begged me for weeks to have her and Jack over, and after about the thirtieth "no," he gave up.
"Is Alex here?" he asked and ran around the house in searching for her.
"Not yet, buddy," Jack said. "I'm going to her grandparents to pick her up, and then I'll be back. That's where she gets off the school bus."
"Can I go with you? I want to surprise her."
Jack looked at me, and I nodded my head.
"Sure, Max-a-million. Alex will love that."
"Woo hoo!" Max ran to his room to put his backpack away.
"We'll be right back." Jack cupped my face with his hands and kissed me.
How does he do that with his lips? Good Lord. The way he kissed me was baffling and almost knocked me off my feet every time. And he knew it. He grinned and winked before turning and walking to the door.
"Ready, Max?" he called out as he turned the doorknob.
Max came barreling down the hall from his room, snatched his jacket from the back of the chair, and ran out the door to Jack's Jeep.
I stood in the doorway and watched Jack get into his vehicle. Memories of our times in his Jeep flooded back, and a smile grew across my lips. The most vivid memory began to replay in my mind. It was snowing outside, and Jack had stopped to help some young girls change the tire on their car. I remained in the Jeep and watched as they pointed and giggled while whispering to one another. I knew what they were saying. I had been a teenager myself, though it felt like an eternity ago.
When Jack returned to the Jeep, and the girls had driven off, I couldn't take my eyes off him. The snow was falling all around us, and Jack turned the wipers and engine off. Within minutes, the windshield was covered with snow, and no one outside could see in. I was wearing a dress as we'd just come from Jack's work's Christmas party. I reached beneath, pulled my panties down, and tossed them into the back seat. Jack got that hungry look in his eyes and came at me like a lion on its prey. I eased the seat back, and wow, those Jeep seats lay almost flat. Jack moved over me, pulled my dress up, pushed his pants down, and we made love right there in the snow on a country road. We could hear cars passing by and could see headlights lighting up the Jeep each time, but thanks to the heavy snowfall that evening, no one had been the wiser as to what was happening inside.
I don't know about Jack, but the fact that people were passing by a few feet away was a real turn-on for me. I can't believe I just said that, but Jack brings out a side of me that I have never met before. Hello, New Me. Great to meet you. Don't ever go.
Jack had only been gone thirty minutes when I heard his Jeep pull into my drive. I met them at the door, and Alex ran to me, almost knocking me over. I knelt in front of her, and we hugged.
"I've missed you," I told her as I pushed her messy hair from her face.
"I missed you, too, Beth."
When I looked up at Jack, I caught him wiping a tear from his cheek. He had told me one day three years ago that his biggest wish for a wife was someone that would love Alex as her own. I was sure this had something to do with the tears that stained his cheeks, and I smiled at him.
"Let's go play. I have a new video game," Max shouted and pulled Alex into the house.
Jack walked to the door but remained in the doorway until I stepped inside. Again, always the gentleman. His momma raised him right.
...
The weekend after my birthday incident – that's what I'm calling it – Jack showed up on my doorstep with a bouquet of pink and red roses. He was still in uniform, and I thought he'd told me he had a shift that evening.
"Aren't you supposed to be working?"
I didn't get you anything for your birthday last week, so I wanted to drop these off."
I took the flowers, and Jack leaned and kissed me.
"Thank you. These are gorgeous."
"Happy birthday, Baby."
"You're a little late." I really enjoyed teasing him.
"Better late than never?"
"I suppose." I tried not to smile, but I had never been able to do that in my entire life. The right side of my mouth curled up, and Jack grinned.
"I need to go," he said, kissed my cheek, and ran to his cruiser.
I still can't get used to him being a cop. It scared me to death. If he missed a scheduled phone call by even five minutes, my mind would find the worst thing that could happen and begin playing it over and over like a movie stuck on repeat. Stupid brain.
"I'll see you tonight," he called out before driving off.
I closed the door, returned to the dishes I had begun unloading from the dishwasher, and attempted to keep my mind busy until I saw his face again.
That evening I was sitting on the couch watching Survivor on the television. Alex and Max were in his room playing his new Crash Bandicoot game when a news report broke in during my show.
"Local police have informed us that a house burglary gone wrong has sent four people to the hospital, leaving two dead."
I straightened in my seat and moved to the edge of the cushion. Could one of them be Jack? Oh, God, please let Jack be okay. I grabbed my phone and sent him a quick text, asking if he was alright. I squeezed the phone between my hands, waiting to feel it vibrate, as my eyes locked on the TV.
"An Illinois man had allegedly broken into a home on Bluegrass Street in an attempt to steal some jewelry and cash, Police Chief Greg Collins informed us. The residents arrived home and entered while the suspect was still inside. Shots were fired, and it's unclear right now as to who shot who. A phone call to 911 brought two units in, and the police proceeded to enter the house. More shots were fired, but we have not received any news as to who was injured. More information will be given as it's released."
I felt sick. I was certain Jack had to have been there as he's high-ranking in the department, and they said two cars showed up. I swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump that was choking me. It wouldn't budge. Jack had shared a few scary moments with me of times like this, so my mind was running rampant. This is why I never wanted to date a cop. Why did I put myself in this situation?
Because it was Jack. He was...IS...the best man I'd ever met, aside from Max and my father, of course. But they were all three neck and neck...and neck.
Jack's tender eyes, soothing voice, calming demeanor, and loving smile did not match his appearance or profession. Looking at him, you'd think he was tough and demanding. But he had never been, not with me anyway. The only times I saw a side of Jack that matched his image was when I met JoAnn and the night he picked me up from the bar. I also imagine that side of him takes over while he is working as well. But at home, he was the gentlest soul I had ever met. That is the Jack I fell in love with. Sure, I talk about how hot he is and how amazing he is in bed, but that's just part of it. A very small part. Jack's heart is the biggest reason why I love him.
I stared at the TV, waiting for any news on the incident, but the report was gone, and Jeff Probst was talking to the contestants on the island. I held my phone in my hand, praying it would ring or vibrate – any notification that included Jack's name. Please, God.
"Mom, can we have a snack?"
I looked up, and Max and Alex were standing just inside the front room. "Sure. There's popcorn in the pantry or pudding in the fridge. Get whatever you want." I guess the fear was in my voice because both kids stared at me.
"Are you okay, Mom?"
"Yes, I'm fine. Sorry. I'm just thinking about...work stuff." I hated lying, but I was not about to scare the kids with my crazy fears.
"Okay. Love you, Mom."
My son, like Jack, always knew just what to say to cheer me up. "I love you, Max."
I muted the television when the kids appeared, and just as they walked back to Max's room with two large bowls of popcorn, I saw the news alert flash on the screen again. I grabbed the remote, unmuted the TV, and moved to the edge of the seat.
"We now know that the suspect in the Bluegrass Street burglary is, in fact, one of the victims. Police have reported that one of their officers shot and killed the suspect as they stormed the house. Still no word on who the other victims are or their conditions. Again, the alleged suspect of the house burglary has been shot and killed. Come back for more news at 9."
I threw the remote across the couch, and it fell behind the pillow. Now I must wait for thirty-seven minutes until the nightly news came on. Jack, why aren't you replying? I stared at my phone, but the screen was dark. How's my battery? Fifty-three percent. I should charge it. Always keep it charged.
I need to keep busy, or I'll go crazy. I jumped from the couch and dug under the sink for window cleaner. With my mirror and front windows spotless, I checked the clock once more. God, seriously? Only twelve minutes had passed. After returning the Windex to its place below the sink, I started toward the couch and saw the screen on my phone lit up. Oh my gosh, I left the ringer on mute. I grabbed it, jerked the charging cord out, and saw Jack's face on my screen.
"Hello? Jack, are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Beth."
"I was so scared. I saw on the news about the burglary. I thought you might have been..." I couldn't finish my sentence.
"Beth, I'm okay. Why didn't you answer your phone? I called a few times."
"I forgot to turn the ringer up, and it was charging in the front room. Are you sure you're alright? Were you there?"
"I'm just fine, Baby." I loved how he called me Baby. "Yes, I was there."
I dropped onto the couch with the phone to my ear and rested my head in the palm of my hand.
"Are you there, Beth?"
"Yes." The word fell flatter than I planned.
"Are you okay?"
"I am now. I was so scared, Jack."
"I know. I'm sorry. I called the first moment I had the chance. I'm sorry it took so long."
Jack knows how I feel about his job. I'm sure he was probably worried about what this might do to our relationship. To be honest, so was I.
"Beth?"
"Yes."
"I love you, Baby."
"I love you, too."
"I have to go, but as soon as I'm off, I will come straight to your home."
"Okay."
"Goodbye, Beth."
"Bye."
I looked at the screen of my phone and saw three missed calls from Jack and one text. I turned the volume up as far as it could go and laid the phone on the coffee table. As I raised my eyes, Jack's face was on the TV. I frantically looked for the remote, forgetting it had fallen behind the pillow, and recovered it just in time to catch the end of the news report as the Police Chief spoke.
"Sergeant Thorton of the Iowa City Police Department entered the premises with two of his officers. Upon entering the home, Don Simmons, the alleged robber, shot his gun, and Sergeant Thornton returned fire. Mr. Simmons died on the scene. The two homeowners, Mark and Lori Schnell, were also shot, along with Officer Heuton. Mr. Schnell died from his gunshot wounds on the way to the hospital. That is all the information I have right now. Thank you."
I quickly turned the TV off in case the kids came into the room and placed the remote on the table beside my phone. This is exactly why I didn't want to get involved. My heart ached from the unknown. And now I learned that Jack was the one that shot and killed the robber. How does he handle that? I don't know because this has never happened since we've been together. I know it was self-defense and his job, and I have nothing against what he does. But the thought of taking someone's life would make it difficult for me to move past it.
I can't believe we've never talked about this before. Yes, I can. His job scares me, and I would never bring it up. How selfish of me. What if he needed to talk about these things? What if something like this had happened while we were together, and I was too stubborn to ask him about it? What a great girlfriend I've been. You're supposed to be there for the one you love, and I failed miserably in that department. Well, things are going to change. I am here for him, and I'll let him know as soon as he enters the door.
Without talking to Jack, simply because he was working, I decided to let Alex spend the night on Max's floor so Jack could stay with me. I wanted him to know I was here for him if he needed to talk. Jack's shift didn't end for another hour, so I got the kids settled in, and after another fifteen minutes of giggles, they finally fell silent.
When he pulled into the drive, I was waiting for him on the front step. Jack had spotted me as he climbed out of his Jeep, smiling from ear to ear as he walked toward the house.
"Well, this is the most beautiful sight I could ever come home to. Hi, Baby."
"Hey, Jack. How are you doing?"
Jack pressed his hand to the step and lowered himself beside me. "I'm fine."
"I heard on the news that you were the one that shot that guy. Is that true?"
"Yes. Does that bother you?"
"No. I was worried about you, though."
"Why?"
"Doesn't it bother you?"
"Taking someone's life?"
"Yes."
"Of course, it does. But I can't think about that. If I hadn't stopped him, he could have killed many others. That's what I focus on."
"Was he the first one that you've killed?"
"Beth, I've been on the force since I was twenty."
"I know. It's just that...we've never talked about this before. And, by the way, I'm sorry about that. I realized tonight how selfish I've been with you, and I'm not doing that anymore."
Jack turned to face me and held my hand on his lap. His thumb brushed along my knuckles in one of the many tender ways he showed his love for me. He lifted his eyes to mine and touched my cheek.
"You are not selfish, Beth. You're scared. There's a difference. I know how much my job worries you, and if it helps you by not talking about it, then that's what I'll do. I need you in my life."
"I need you in mine." While watching the news report, something else crossed my mind that evening. I wanted to ask him about it, but I wasn't sure I was ready for the answer. "Have you ever been...shot?"
"Yes. Once."
I'm not sure what I'd expected his answer to be, but I wasn't prepared for that one, and I'm guessing my face showed it.
"It was just in the leg, maybe six years ago. It wasn't serious, and it barely left a scar."
I moved onto his lap as he wrapped me in his arms. I buried my face in his neck and was struck by the smell of his cologne. Closing my eyes, I inhaled, allowing the scent to take me someplace else. I didn't want to think about the danger Jack was in every day he put on this uniform, but at the same time, I couldn't imagine him doing anything else. He became a cop to help get the bad people off the streets. He's doing this for the other half of himself that a drunk driver had ripped away. He's doing this for his twin brother Tom. I couldn't ask him to find a new profession, and I would never try.
Jack is a police sergeant, and I know this. But he holds a piece of my heart, and it will remain in his possession for eternity.
"I should get Alex home and in bed."
"She's asleep in Max's room. She's spending the night."
Jack knows what drives me crazy, but I also know what gets him going. My chin was down, but I looked at him through my eyelashes. I pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth and held it there. For whatever reason, this drove him over the edge every...single...time. And tonight was no exception.
Jack stared at my mouth, and his tongue grazed along his lips. It was as if he tasted his but imagined whatever flavor had remained on mine. With me still in his arms, he stood with ease, turned, skipped the step, and walked across the porch and through the open door.
As we passed the room where the kids were sleeping, we peeked in, then I reached down and quietly pulled the door shut. Jack carried me down the hall and into my room, pushed the door shut with his foot, then took me to bed.