Oh look, I'm doing fast updates for once! Enjoy and stuff.
"Hey! I'm home!" Lovino closed the front door wiped his feet on the welcome mat.
"Great! You can start dinner for us," his grandfather called back, from anywhere in the house. His voice just carried. "There's three tins in the kitchen!"
Lovino groaned. Nothing that came out of a tin tasted good. Even if raw ingredients weren't fresh, the meal still tasted better having prepared it from scratch. Not that anyone had the time or money for that. Lovino himself did, he supposed, but he was technically supposed to be out looking for work. Was being a troublemaker a legitimate career path?
He trudged into the kitchen, emptying tins of gross, salty macaroni into a saucepan.
All Grandpa Janus had to do was ask, and he'd stay home to cook from scratch. Of course, he was supposed to be at work for the rest of his adult life, but he could manage. Maybe. Grandpa Janus could barely manage after work, but Lovino was different.
He rested his head against the cupboard. "I fucking hate my life."
He glanced up to find Ludwig staring at him from the doorway, and jumped. Had he always been there?
"What'ya want? Can't you see I'm working!"
Ludwig's face crumpled and he disappeared, running up the stairs.
"Weirdo. How is that weedy fucker three years younger than me?" He stabbed at his macaroni.
Ludwig ran until his reached the bedroom, diving under his freshly-washed sheets and curling into a ball. His arms trembled, but he told himself not to cry. Not again. He was supposed to be a big boy, but all he wanted to do was hide from the world and sob.
He wanted to be a big, grown up, like his brother. He wanted to be strong, and brave. He'd just wanted to help Lovino.
But, try as he may, nothing would come out of his mouth.
Gilbert would be so disappointed in him. He was pathetic, like a small child and not the teen he was. He could've fought the police, protected everyone somehow, but one punch, and he'd cracked. He expected another one every second of the day. And every day was like being stuck on top of a pit, one drop away from death. The adrenaline had long worn off, and he had no idea how to handle the constant fear.
He wouldn't be okay again, would he?
"Did you have a nice day, Lovino?" Grandpa Janus grinned at the boy as he dug into his dinner.
Lovino just grunted in return.
The entire family was crowded round the one table, the buzz of several conversations overlapping each other as they discussed work and school. The air was heavy with sweat and dirt, not helped by the sun glaring through the window.
"I'm sorry about the food," Grandpa Janus continued, "it's all they had at the market. Again."
"All the good meat gets saved for the rich," said Francis.
"I miss being rich," added Céline.
Lovino nodded. He hadn't tasted fresh meat since he was little.
"Well, there's nowhere to farm, right?" said Matthew, continuing the train of complaining. It was the only place they could talk freely. As paranoid as Lovino was, and as much as Roderich would want to, the Emperor didn't have the means to bug houses; his ancestors had spent too much building an overly grandiose palace and a military to protect it. And he was the richest man in the city. No one had any idea how to generate money here; it wasn't a sustainable way to live, and there was next to no farmland. Only about a quarter of the city was used to make food, either overcrowded pens for livestock, or greenhouses. Or factories growing food that barely counted as food. Lovino didn't want to know what went into those; they were all the family could afford.
"Why can't we use the land outside?" he asked. The rest of the table fell silent. Francis and Grandpa Janus exchanged glances. "I mean," Lovino continued, "what's even out there? We could grow stuff and put the animals there and there'd be more space to raise more animals, right?"
"We can't go outside," said Grandpa Janus flatly.
"Ah, come on, Papa," Francis nudged him, "surely you've told Lovino about the outside."
Lovino looked at Grandpa Janus expectantly.
"I have," he said, "there's nothing there for us; it's just wasteland. If there was a means of helping us survive, we would have expanded the city. But the truth is: if you end up outside, it means the Emperor ordered your exile. And you don't survive exile."
"Sadik Adnan did," muttered Lovino before he could stop himself. Arthur had explained it to him and Xavier on their way out, but he knew he'd made a mistake the moment he brought it up.
Grandpa Janus was stunned into silence, dropping his fork where it lay forgotten on the floor. The rest of the family didn't dare speak up. Eventually, his grandfather found his whispered and cracked voice. "Where did you hear that name?"
"What do you know about him?" Lovino questioned, eyes narrowing.
"He's dead. He was thrown out of the city 10 years ago, and died sometime after because people do not survive outside."
"Did you know him?"
"How about you tell me how you know him before I smack you red?"
Lovino groaned. "I met him today. He's back and I know what happened ten years ago. A bunch of people tried overthrowing the Emperor. He's gonna try again." His little brothers looked up at him with wide eyes.
It took Grandpa Janus a moment to process that. "Well- Look, you just make sure you keep away from him, okay? He'll fill your head with dangerous dreams."
"Maybe I wanna help him," he said quietly.
"I will have no grandchild of mine mixed up in that!" He slammed a fist on the table. "You trying to get us all killed?"
"It's really all that's left to do to us," reasoned Lovino, "we're poor! We're broken! We're oppressed!
"You have no idea what they could do to us!" Grandpa Janus got up, pacing the room to stop himself throttling the boy. "You think things are bad now? You think there is nothing left for them to do to us? This is nothing compared to what the authorities would do if they could hear this conversation, never mind catch you plotting some revolution." He laughed. "Maybe those idiots getting caught and killed will ease the pressure of keeping this city fed."
Lovino wrinkled his nose. "What the hell, Grandpa?"
"Look, just stay away from Adnan if you want to live, got it?"
"But what is the point of that if we can't be free?" Lovino was surprised with himself. Since when was he so passionate? He was a compulsive arguer, but the more he argued for the sake of it, the more he found himself believing it. He wanted to leave the city, do what he wanted, not worry about saying the wrong thing."
"I would rather you were all safe and here, instead of-" Grandpa Janus looked away, unable to finish his sentence.
"The boy is an adult now," Francis chimed in, "I know he is choosing a scary path, but his heart is in the right place. I'm sure he's perfectly aware of what he's getting himself into."
"No he's not! He has no idea!" Grandpa Janus squeezed Lovino's arm. "I am begging you, boy, stay away from Adnan and anyone who thinks like him."
Lovino pulled his arm away. "But Grandpa-"
"I am not losing you, or Feliciano or Sal. It's bad enough-" He looked away. "Just- don't be an idiot!"
Lovino shook his head. "Why are you so scared of doing the right thing?"
"Because this isn't some game or dream! This is real life and you can die from just speaking these words! We all can!"
"I used to think you were so brave," he shrugged, "when did you become a coward?" He stood up, looking at his grandfather in disgust. "I cannot even look at you right now."
"Right back at you, boy," Grandpa Janus spat, "I forbid you from having anything to do with this. One more word of Adnan, and you can find another family to get killed. I will not have you jeopardising your brothers' safety for some silly idea. Understand?"
Lovino gave a salute, slamming the door on his way out. He stomped up the stairs, kicked his bedroom door open, and proceeded to kick Feliciano's bed frame. Stabbing pain jolted up his leg, and he burst into a string of profanity, flopping down on his own bed to hold his throbbing foot. Then he turned onto his stomach and screamed into the pillow.
He goddamn knew this was serious! Yes, it was exciting, an adventure, but he was allowed to think that! He could be a hero! Then retire on a farm outside the city with a family, maybe even have his own restaurant and his brothers could come and go as they pleased, and he'd never have to worry about them. Now he had a taste of that future, he was going to get it!
All this time, his Grandpa complained he wasn't doing enough with his life, but the first time he cared about something, it got shot down. If his foot wasn't still hurting, he'd kick the wall. Instead, he just threw his pillow across the room.
"You do this every time you get told "no"?" asked Céline, leaning against the doorway, "and I thought I was spoilt." Francis was standing next to her, awkwardly avoiding eye-contact. Lovino wanted to tell them to fuck off, but was too humiliated to speak. What sort of adult threw a tantrum like that?
"What do you want?" he sighed, voice cracking. If he started crying, he was going to jump out the window.
"That was quite the speech you gave there," commented Céline, "the kind Gilbert used to give. He snapped too, just like you." She sat on Sal's bed. "Used to be so obsessed with order and the way things were, determined to followed the law down to the last misdemeanour, but it became harder and harder to justify what he wrote each week. He stopped being able to bear what was happening to the people, and he wanted to use his voice for change." She sighed dramatically. "You saw where it got him."
"There needs to be more direct action." Francis paced the room. "You believe Sadik can give us that?"
Lovino shrugged. "I don't know. But they seem organised. Got a cool secret base and everything."
"I am going to finish what Gilbert started," said Céline firmly.
Lovino sat up. "You think this is a good idea, then?"
"Not in the slightest," Francis laughed, "but one of my closest friends was just murdered, and I want revenge on the man responsible."
"Right, I get it."
"And I want the kids to grow up in a better world," continued Francis, "your brothers included."
"Can we join too?" Alfred poked his head through the door. Matthew was there too.
Francis didn't look too happy at that, but did not argue. "Of course. You two are old enough to make your own decisions. As much as it pains me."
"Great! We wanna kick some royal ass!" Alfred flopped down on Lovino's bed, almost sending him flying.
"Hey, watch it!"
"You get used to him," sighed Matthew.
"Surely, the more people that are all in, the more likely it is to work," Céline looked around, "we need to get the whole family on board."
"So I can join?" Asked Feliciano.
"Absolutely not!" Cried Lovino, "you're definitely too young!"
"No I'm not!" Feliciano pouted, "I'm two years younger than you!"
"A child! I agree with Grandpa that I don't want you in danger. You could get hurt!"
"But I'll be in danger anyway, right? And, if you don't let me help, I'll… I'll tell Grandpa what you're gonna do!" There was an unusual fierceness to his eyes.
Lovino screamed through gritted teeth. "Don't be a fucking narc, Ciano!"
"It would break your Grandpa's heart to hear such a thing," Francis wailed dramatically, "don't do it!"
Matthew crouched down next to him. "You already have a special mission, Feli. You need to be Ludwig's friend."
"I'm not five, Matti," he grumbled.
Matthew nodded. "You're right. Look, Ludwig is incredibly traumatised. The Emperor did that. I believe you're the one who can help him. Get him talking, help him open up. You can't replace his brother, but you can be there for him. He needs someone to be gentle with him."
Lovino wasn't sure he liked that much better. Feliciano and Ludwig were weirdly close; it was creepy how the kid clung to his brother, shadowed him like a bad dream. But it meant Feliciano wasn't getting shot at.
Feliciano thought about it, then nodded. "Okay, I can do that. I'd rather do that instead of fighting anyone. But, when Ludwig's okay, we can join, right?"
Wrong, but Lovino nodded. "Yeah, sure, but he has to be completely, absolutely okay." There! An impossible standard.
"I won't let him down, I promise!" He darted out of the room, presumably to find Ludwig. Lovino hoped he didn't blurt anything out to Grandpa Janus. He turned back to the others.
"I'll need you all at Karpusi's cafe tomorrow. 7am sharp. That okay?"
"I can manage that," said Francis, shrugging, "I'm owed some time off."
"I'm blacklisted from most jobs," Céline spat, "you have all my time."
Alfred glanced at his twin. "We can find an excuse, right?"
Francis got up, walking over to Lovino and resting a hand on his shoulder. "But you have to do something for us first."
"What?"
"Apologise to your grandfather."
"Nope. No way!" He shook his head childishly.
"Come on," Matthew insisted, "the man's devastated. You need to reconcile. Especially if we're gonna be doing something so risky. You'll never know what day you won't come back."
"Don't want to." Lovino knew he was right, though.
"Life's too short for broken relationships, young man," Céline made sure to look him right in the eye. "He won't be mad forever, he doesn't want to be. Just make up and save yourself that precious time." Lovino squirmed until he hauled himself up and back downstairs, dreading the coming conversation.
Grandpa Janus was sat in his armchair, staring out the window and lost in thought. Lovino wondered if he knew he was crying.
"Grandpa?" he asked softly.
The old man jumped, then turned to look at him. "Oh, my boy."
"Yeah," he walked over and sat on the arm of the armchair. "Look, I'm sorry. I was a jerk. You're just trying to keep me safe."
He nodded. "It's okay. Sorry for being so harsh. I was just… so, so scared for you. All of you."
"I know."
"Come here," Grandpa Janus pulled him into a tight hug. "Love you, kid."
"Love you too, Grandpa."
"You'll keep safe, right? Promise me you'll stay out of trouble."
"I promise," he lied.
Rome: What you are talking about is dangerous and bad and even the words will get you killed.
Also Rome: I am going to fucking scream this conversation for the neighbours to hear.
Also there was no way Francis was passing up the opportunity to start a revolution.