Regretfully Uncaring

by RMWB

In one earth-shattering second, Harry's life changes forever as he becomes a werewolf. He must navigate new challenges, but for the first time in his life, he is surrounded by those who love him. With bolstered confidence, Harry makes many decisions, both triumphs and failures, that lead him and his friends down a very different path. AU - Original Plot - Ensemble Cast - Slow Burn.

35. Always

A/N: This is the last of the streak of depressing chapters. The next two are more of an upward spiral. Not a comedy, and not exactly pleasant, but better than the last five chapters when it comes to the uplifting side of things.

There are some canon timeline changes in this chapter. I just felt like changing stuff, so I did.

---

Lily Evans hated winter. Which was one of the many reasons to dislike her birthday, seeing as it landed in January. The absolute worst month of the year.

Her long auburn hair was matted down around her face by a woolen winter cap. She'd received the hat for Christmas along with the gloves she refused to wear.

The grounds of Hogwarts were steep and slippery. Deciding that falling into the lake fell quite low on her bucket list, she chose the path that led down to Hagrid's hut.

Severus had told her to meet him there that morning at breakfast. She didn't really know what he had planned, but it was her fourteenth birthday, so something had to come out of it.

They were halfway through her third year at Hogwarts, and things were beginning to fall into a sort of routine. Not that she didn't like routine. Quite the opposite. Lily was shockingly well organized for one her age. She knew what she wanted to do the minute she left Hogwarts, and there was nothing that could stand in her way. She knew that she'd probably fall in love along the way, but that was a far-off thing. She hoped she'd have gained some life experience before getting into all that.

The snow crunched below her feet with every step she took. Her robe dragged in the shin-deep snow as she finally reached the tree line of the forbidden forest. The snow drifting lazily down from the heavens was thick and plentiful, limiting visibility. Looking behind her, she could barely make out Hogwarts' many turrets.

"Sev?" she called.

"Around back!" she heard his voice from behind Hagrid's hut.

Quickening her pace, she ran around to the small paddock that typically contained the beast of the week, as many of her classmates had coined Hagrid's strange collection.

Severus was leaning against a fence post with a book in his gloved hand. He grinned up at her when he heard her footsteps.

"What's that?" Lily asked, genuinely curious. She was glad Severus was alone. She didn't like his Slytherin friends all that much.

Severus handed the book over to her. "I wanted to show you this book Nott gave me. It's got some really fascinating stuff!"

Lily took the book from his hands and studied the cover. It didn't have a title and seemed very old indeed.

She opened it to the page Severus had been reading and inspected its writings.

"Animating inanimate objects, a guide?" she looked up at Severus curiously.

"Each page describes a different spell or magical art form. Loads of it is stuff you'd never find at Hogwarts. Even the restricted section!" Severus's smile broadened. "Look at some of this! We could practice over the easter holidays and come back with even more spells in our arsenal."

She and Severus had quicky become the most proficient with spells in the school. Their friendship was widely regarded as strange. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor. But for the most part, the attention they garnered was relatively tame.

"Oh, and look at this!" Severus took the book from her and flipped past multiple pages. Lily caught a glimpse at a few illustrations that made her feel distinctly uncomfortable.

"Severus, some of those things are really… dark!" she whispered the last word.

Severus waved her off. "You've just got to avoid that sort of thing," he found the page he was looking for and showed it to her.

"Obscurials. How they form, and how to destroy them?" Lily read aloud. "What's an obscurus?"

Severus brushed the snow off the fence so he could sit on it. "It's like a magical parasite. It grows in an absence of love… sort of. Sometimes it can form just by hiding your magic!"

Lily tapped the side of the book with her index finger as she continued to read. "These are incredibly rare," she muttered, flipping the page and finding even more information on them. "They form when one is forced to hide their magic. Whether out of shame or hatred… well, there's loads of reasons why… this is fascinating!"

"isn't it?"

"They don't develop past the age of fourteen…" Lily trailed off.

"That isn't true," Severus corrected. "There was one right before the continental war. He was in his twenties,"

"Right, but he had the parasite since before then, surely?"

Severus shrugged. "Only one way to find out, I suppose,"

Lily didn't like that answer. True, research and practical experimentation was the best way to do these sorts of things, but to open-endedly suggest forcing a child to hide their magic was too far.

Severus, recognizing the resigned expression on his friend's face, sighed and slid off the fence. "Obviously I didn't mean it like that, Lils. I'm just saying that, you know, in an unethical world… that's how we'd do things," he shrugged again and took the book from her. "If you want to read it you can just ask. I'm sure I could get Nott to share it again."

Just then, a loud bang erupted from somewhere to Severus's left. Lily jumped and peered around her friend.

"Alright Evans?"

Lily snorted and immediately stormed off. She didn't have time to deal with this sort of thing. She was sick of it, and it had only been two and a half years. God forbid he gained access to her postal address. The summers would be unbearable.

She thought Severus was following her, but she quicky realized he was facing Potter, Black and Pettigrew down.

"She doesn't fancy you! For Merlin's sake just leave her be!" Severus insisted, turning around to follow after Lily.

Black snickered. "Sounds like you're a bit upset she doesn't fancy you back, mate,"

Pettigrew and Potter laughed at the other's joke. Lily, against her better interest, stepped forward. "Oh for fucks sake the three of you. We're only friends. Something me and Potter will never be,"

"Hear that, James?" Pettigrew interjected. "She'd like to skip the whole talking phase and get straight to snogging!"

Potter grinned stupidly and Lily wanted nothing more than to find a way to wipe that smile off his idiotic face.

"Is that so, Evans? Well, I don't see why I couldn't-"

Bang! Severus had shot a hex off at Potter. Small bats, seemingly made out of Potter's bogeys were scratching at his face. Potter stumbled and fell onto his arse, groaning.

Lily huffed. There was no need to start a duel. Pettigrew rushed to Potter's side while Black shot a spell at Severus.

Severus ducked and sent a disarming charm at Black. He evaded it by mere inches before throwing a stinging jinx at Severus's knee. He yelped and took a moment to fire a spell back.

Black, being the immature duellist that he was, waited for Severus to make the next move. Severus panted, leaning over his knee.

"Is that too much for Snivellus?" Black jeered as Pettigrew finally figured out the counter curse on Potter.

Then, Severus raised his wand and shot a spell Lily had never heard of. It sounded like the wind roiling off the mountain peaks. It was dripping with rage and disgust. All the hairs along her arm stood on end as Severus cast his first dark spell.

It flew towards Black, whose eyes widened at its brilliant orange light before diving to the ground. Black quickly scrambled to his feet. "You're fucking mental! I can't believe Evans still hangs around you. That's dark that is! Dark!"

He joined Pettigrew in helping Potter up off the ground and left.

Severus turned to Lily and was met with a girl who didn't seem to recognize him. "Lils?"

"Why'd you start that? We both go on about how immature they are and yet here you stand, firing spells first!" Lily cried. "And that last spell… I didn't like that at all. There's a reason some magic is banned you know. And I think they're good reasons," she stormed away from Hagrid's hut, back up to the castle.

---

Regretfully Uncaring

Chapter 35: Always

---

"ROAR, ROAR, GRYFFINDOR! ROAR, ROAR, GRYFFINDOR!" the Gryffindors chanted throughout the stands of the Quidditch pitch. It was the Third year Quidditch final, and Potter was scoring at a blinding pace.

"I must admit," Lily whispered to her friend, Marlene. "Potter is good on a broom,"

Marlene raised an eyebrow. "Interesting turn of events,"

"Not what I meant but alright," Lily dragged out the 'alright'. "I'm only saying that if he doesn't do anything with that talent, he's even more thick than we gave him credit for,"

Marlene laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. "Backhanded, but a compliment, nonetheless. You'd best make sure he doesn't hear about it,"

"Hear about what?" came a male voice from behind them. They whirled around and were met with Sirius Black. "You wouldn't happen to be discussing our lovely lady up in the sky, would you?"

"Lady?" Lily asked incredulously, diverting the subject.

Black winked. "Love him to death but James Potter is a girl at heart,"

"One of the girls," Pettigrew affirmed from behind Black, holding his hands in a heart shape over his chest.

"Right," Marlene replied coldly.

"Oh, well, we didn't mean to intrude on the gossip. Go on, then, Evans. Keep discussing the many ungodly acts you'd like to perform with our…" he clasped shoulders with Pettigrew and stood up, swaying as they sang, together, "LOVELY LADY OF THE SKIES! JAMES POTTER!"

The crowd cheered and bangs emanated from the tips of their wands all around the stadium. Black and Pettigrew bowed as Lupin rolled his eyes, smiling from behind them.

"Thought you were going to join the team this year?" Marlene teased, prodding Black's shoe.

"Nah. I'm more of a 1974-75 season type of bloke if you know what I mean," Black stretched his arms up behind his head, smiling down at Marlene.

"That's code for he didn't make the bloody team," Lupin added from the back row. "He's a shit beater,"

Black whirled around and raised his wand. "Oh… Remus, come now,"

Lupin threw an apologetic look at Lily and Marlene, causing them both to laugh.

"Well, unless you count beating your Slytherin brother to a pulp," Pettigrew added.

Black fell silent. "I don't beat my brother," he said quietly. "No matter what he did, I'd never lay a finger on Reg,"

Pettigrew shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, understanding that his attempt at humour had fallen flat on its face, and was completely unnecessary.

Lily wondered what Black's sudden shift in mood meant but brushed it aside as quickly as the concern had sprouted.

---

She'd barely seen Severus over the summer. They'd begun their fourth year at Hogwarts, and Lily felt as though he had distanced himself from her. His eyes were hollow, his cheeks sunken. She knew his time at home had never been pleasant. She knew he spent most of his time protecting his mother and taking the blows of his father onto himself.

But it seemed to have taken its toll this time around. Severus seemed… cold. He didn't smile once at the feast, and it left her feeling rather off-kilter.

Lily crawled through the portrait hole to the Gryffindor common room. Her hair pulled back in a ponytail. She was late returning to Gryffindor tower after having cornered Professor McGonagall with a flood of questions. Lily was determined to excel this year. More so than she had the years prior. The reason being that she wanted that prefect position the following year.

She entered the common room expecting to find it quite empty but was instead greeted with a rather unpleasant sight.

Potter was there, sitting in front of the fire holding a letter. Potter always received letters from home. His dotting parents couldn't keep their minds off their precious son for more than a day it would seem.

She waited for the usual greeting. 'Alright Evans?' or something along those lines.

Instead, she was greeted with silence. He looked over his shoulder at her and gave a faint smile before returning to his letter.

Lily, unused to this treatment, quickly left up the staircase.

NNN

"That isn't the problem though! She's a mudblood!"

Lily froze. That was Severus's voice. The mounting political pressure driven heavily by Voldemort and his death eaters had caused plenty of conversation to spring up around those 'like her'.

It was November 1974, and Lily and Severus had rekindled their friendship somewhat. They were friendly in class and Severus seemed quite keen on keeping their friendship alive and burning strong. He made a point of seeking her out and tagging along to Hogsmeade. It was distinctly… forced. She could tell Severus was hiding something. He never came running to her in excitement over a new spell. He brooded and moped about the castle. She didn't know what had happened over the summer, but it was almost like he'd lost faith in the world.

She rounded the corner after hearing his voice spout those hateful words. "Mudblood, is it?" she spat. "Interesting choice of words, eh Sev?"

Severus froze. Shocked by her sudden appearance. "Lils!"

"Shut it," she spat. "Don't call me by some cute childhood nickname. Go on, call me by what you really think of me,"

Severus's friend, Walden Macnair, stood off to the side, watching intently.

"No… it's not about you," Severus spluttered. "It's just…"

Lily raised an eyebrow in question. "It's just what?"

A part of her felt petty for caring about this sort of thing. I mean, what was the harm, really? It was a term. Sure, she didn't like it, and it was typically used in a degrading manner, but that didn't necessarily mean Severus thought so.

"You missed the context," was the argument Severus chose.

Lily sighed. "Whatever. I've got to get to class," she brushed passed them and made her way down to the dungeons. She overheard Macnair say something but didn't bother paying attention.

---

"Alright Evans?"

Lily groaned and opened her eyes, sitting up and glaring at the messy-haired slug of a boy approaching her from her left. She was lying on the graveled beach of the Black Lake, soaking in the sun on her face. It was the first day since before winter that hadn't been unbearably frigid.

Today was the 27th of March 1975.

James Potter's birthday.

"What do you want, Potter,"

"When will it be 'James'?" he asked with a sly grin, sitting down next to her and ruining the indent in the gravel she'd made for herself that hugged every part of her body comfortably.

"You're really irritating you know," Lily remarked, squinting through the sunlight. She brought a flat hand up to her brow to block the sun.

Potter shrugged. "Eventually you'll come to love it,"

Lily hummed in acknowledgment. "So, what do you want?"

"Me? I want nothing," he drew out a roll of parchment from his robe pocket. "But you? You'll want this."

He tossed the scroll through the air for Lily to catch. She reached up and missed the catch by, well, a fairly embarrassing margin. "Merlin, you'd be a terrible Quidditch player," he cringed as she continued the scramble to pick up the scroll, which the wind was unhelpfully pushing away from her.

"Accio parchment," Potter muttered, allowing the scroll to fly back into his hand. "Let's try that again, shall we?" he tossed the paper to her again.

Like before, she missed spectacularly.

"Evans, I'm right next to you. You ought to be able to catch this. Again," he summoned the parchment back to his hand.

"I'm not even interested in what you have to offer anymore," Lily grumbled, turning away from him and facing the lake. She brought her knees up and hugged them to her chest.

She felt him tuck the scroll in between her knees, trapping it there. "Interesting for you to imply that you were interested in the first place,"

"You said interesting too many times in that sentence for me to follow," Lily shrugged. "Didn't hear a word you said,"

"Pet peeve, is it?"

Lily nodded and hummed in ascent. "You've got to enrich your vocabulary,"

"Merlin, I haven't got a chance then, have I?"

She turned her head on her arms to face him. "Glad you're finally acknowledging that,"

Potter got to his feet and patted her head sympathetically, ruining her hair in the process. "It's alright, love. I'd never accept defeat so pathetically,"

She closed her eyes in annoyance and listened to him walk away.

She sat there for a long while before curiosity got the better of her. She slid her legs out in front of her and pulled the parchment out from between her knees. There was a seal with a family crest emblazoned onto the front.

"A touch extravagant…" she murmured to herself as she broke the seal and unrolled the parchment.

"Dear lucky guest.

Some might say a party is unnecessary. Some might even say they're unsafe. Well, to hell with those people. You've been invited to the fifteenth annual celebration of, yours truly, James Potter.

"Location?"

Answer: Everywhere.

"Time?"

Answer: Whenever is most inconvenient for Filch.

"Hosts?"

Answer: The Marauders (Newly formed).

"Do I need to bring anything?"

Answer: Merlin, no! You yourselves are the event of the party! Fear not, we'll supply.

"Erm, Sirius, I'm scared of alcohol. Will there be any safe drinks?"

Answer: No. Bring your own goblet or something. Tosspot.

"I'll tell the prefects!"

Answer: No, you won't. (Scare tactics)

Alright, so now that the essentials have been laid out, let me write you a guided tour of how this will play out.

Naturally, this'll take place in the common room. But to our more adventurous Gryffindors, (And the one Hufflepuff Peter invited,) we have an adventure planned.

Yes! An adventure! Come tonight to the common room at eleven o'clock, and we'll make teams and tell you exactly what your goal is.

If you would like a more personal, laid-back experience, speak to our resident mediator, Remus Lupin.

Now, as the muggles would say, God bless,

Love,

Sirius Black"

Lily couldn't deny that the invitation had made her smile. Shaking her head in disbelief, she rolled the piece of parchment back up and stuffed it in her bag.

It wasn't exactly avoidable, seeing as it would be hosted in the common room, but she could always hide up in her dormitory.

"What were you two all cozy over,"

Lily whirled around and was faced with Severus. He was staring down at her coldly.

"Sorry?" she asked, genuinely confused.

Severus scoffed. "As if you don't know." he kicked a rock angrily. Lily watched it fly into the lake.

"Seriously, Sev, tell me what's wrong," Lily insisted.

"You and Potter," he spat the name like it was something horrible on his tongue. Lily couldn't blame him.

She snorted at the implication. "Oh, come on, Sev. You know how much I hate him,"

"Do I?" he countered. "Because I'm not so sure,"

"Don't be so dramatic. Besides, even if we were friends, which believe me, that will never happen, I'd expect you to be a bit less…" she trailed off, not exactly having a word for how Severus was acting, "Strange,"

Severus rolled his eyes. "He's as thick as a troll and has the grace of a baby giraffe,"

"Well, there's no doubt about that," Lily replied, turning to face the lake as she sensed the animosity between them die down. "How are you, Severus? I feel like we haven't spoken properly in ages,"

Severus sat himself down on the gravel. His oversized clothes had ample enough room for him to sit comfortably. "What do you mean? We spoke just yesterday,"

Lily rolled her eyes. "That was potions. We were working together. I mean talked like… really talked. About feelings and all that,"

Severus seemed to freeze up a bit and rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh, well… I'm fine, I reckon,"

"You reckon?"

Severus shrugged. "Yeah. You know… not extraordinary not bad. Just average. I'm fine,"

Lily sighed. "I wish you could talk to me about things like you used to," she leaned her head on his shoulder and he seemed to relax a bit.

"Mum's sick," he admitted after a brief pause. "She wrote yesterday. Something with her liver,"

Lily swallowed. She'd met Severus's mother only once. She'd been drunk at the time, no matter how aggressively Severus fought that fact. "Do you know anything else? Like… how is she?"

"In a muggle hospital," Severus sighed. "Dad doesn't want her in St. Mungo's because of… well… you know,"

He didn't say anything more, but the answer hung heavily in the air.

Magic.

"I'm sure she'll be alright,"

Severus scoffed. "No. She won't," he rolled his shoulders, attempting not to dislodge Lily's head. "She's got cancer. Magically that's a pain in the arse to deal with and muggle-wise, I mean… she's as good as dead,"

Lily sat up straight. "Don't say that," she spat. "Muggles get over cancer all the time."

Severus froze on the delicate subject. He obviously hadn't meant to reference Lily's father, who was currently battling it out with cancer himself.

"That's not what I meant,"

"You've been saying that a lot lately," Lily retorted, getting to her feet and hauling her bag over her shoulders. "Maybe you should think before you speak sometimes,"

She stormed up back to the castle, leaving Severus behind on the beach.

---

That night, Lily lay awake in her bed. She felt a bit silly. Even Marlene, who hated Potter and his ridiculous friends, well, save Lupin of course, had gone down to the party.

Yet here she was, staring at the ceiling.

The noise level in the common room flared and she groaned, pulling her pillow up over her head in a vain attempt to drown out the sound.

"AND THE CLOCK STRIKES ELEVEN! THE ADVENTURE BEGINS! GATHER AROUND, GATHER AROUND!" that was Lupin's voice, so surely it couldn't be that bad.

Then again, Black had promised alcohol.

Sighing dispassionately, Lily slid out of bed and changed into a generic muggle outfit. Jeans and a white blouse.

She made sure nothing was too revealing, because this was Potter's birthday, after all.

Absently, she wondered where McGonagall was, and if she'd just let this one off as a gift to Potter for his performance in the Quidditch cup, which the professor was unhealthily obsessed with.

Shrugging those thoughts aside, Lily made her way to the dormitory door and down to the common room.

It was, as expected, chaos. It seemed that the minute Black came in with barrels of mead, it was over.

Where Black got the stuff was an absolute mystery. How he transported it up to Gryffindor tower? Also lost on her.

"Anyone else like to join? Anyone?" Lupin cried from his spot atop an empty barrel. He was, in fact, swaying quite dramatically.

"I'd like to," Lily called, regretting her decision immediately.

Lupin turned to her with a broad grin. "Well, isn't that just marvelous,"

Lily rolled her eyes and made her way into the crowd, well aware that she was far too sober for this event.

"Oh, Evans! Oh, Evans! Will you be mine?" Potter sung. She couldn't actually see him, but she could damn well hear him.

"No, Potter," she called in the general direction of his voice.

"Damn. Maybe next time, mate," she heard Black say.

"Or never…" Lupin muttered to himself. "Now that we have twelve pairs, I say it's high time we start this adventure!"

"Moony!" Pettigrew called. Lily groaned. Since January they'd started calling each other these ridiculous nicknames. From what she understood, Black was Padfoot, and Lupin was Moony. If the other two had a nickname, she hadn't heard them yet.

"Moony!" Pettigrew repeated. "You've got to explain the damn thing first,"

"Alright, alright. Don't get your knickers in a twist, he was getting to that!" Potter cried. From his muffled voice, and it seemingly coming from far away, she had the distinct impression that Potter was on the ground.

"Now, twelve teams, twenty-four people, all working against each other in an amazing race!" Lupin began his explanation. "There are points hidden throughout the castle. Each point has an itty-bitty challenge for you to complete," Lily sighed. This was a terrible idea. Her bed had been so warm.

"Is Evans still here?" Potter called from the floor. "Because if she isn't I'm not playing,"

Lily took a deep breath to calm herself. It wasn't even funny anymore. Actually, scratch that. It hadn't been funny past the second year.

"Yes, James, she's right in front of me," Lupin sighed, grimacing in Lily's direction.

"It's not your fault," she mouthed.

Lupin nodded and continued with his explanation. "Each of these challenges will require you to work with your teammate. Don't worry, if you hate each other, you can always sabotage,"

"Don't go encouraging that, you twat!" Potter called again. Every time he said one of his stupid one-liners, the entire room would burst out laughing. It was infuriating to Lily. He wasn't funny. He wasn't cute. He was a complete arrogant snobby-

"Alright does anyone have questions?" Lupin called, interrupting her thoughts.

"Yeah, what are the teams?" someone shouted from the back.

"Excellent question and I am sorry in advance!" Lupin called, grimacing as he did so. He pulled a piece of muggle paper out of his pocket and read off the teams.

As he read, something became apparent to Lily. It seemed Black – because it couldn't have been anyone else – had had a great time playing matchmaker with these teams.

She knew before her name had been called that she'd be stuck with Potter.

"Lily is with… erm," Lupin flushed. "James,"

"WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT?" Black remarked loudly. "IT'S LIKE IT WAS WRITTEN IN THE STARS!"

"If only you had predicted my future instead of our lovely divination professor," Potter called from below. "I like your predictions a whole lot more than my impending death!"

Everyone laughed.

Lily ground her teeth and closed her eyes.

"Now, me, Sirius, and Peter can't exactly aid in this task, considering the fact that we set it up. So, we'll be waiting for all of you upon your return." Lupin continued. "Now, if I could have a member from each team to come up and accept their clue…"

The common room formed a swaying line. Lupin was probably the least intoxicated of the four marauders, but he still seemed to struggle in balancing himself atop the barrel.

The line slowly made its way to Lupin and got their slip of parchment. Lily could see Potter now. He was lying face down on the floor with Black standing on top of him. She rolled her eyes and finally got to Lupin.

"Why are you here?" he slurred. "Genuinely,"

Lily sighed. "I don't know,"

Lupin raised an eyebrow and extended his hand to offer her the slip of parchment with her and Potters' first clue. "Well, you're going to want to be a bit less… well, you know,"

Lily smiled sarcastically up at him. "I'd rather be as aware as possible when I'm around your little friend,"

Lupin shrugged. "I'd say he wouldn't touch you… but I really couldn't say. To each their own, I suppose,"

Lily snatched the parchment and walked towards Potter and Black. "What a green flag," she murmured to herself as she got to the dreadful pair.

"Black, get off my teammate," Lily commanded.

Black raised an eyebrow. "You hear that, Prongs?" Lily took a moment to realize Prongs was Potter. "She said she'd mate with you,"

Potter shot to his feet, forcing Black off him. "Shove off, Sirius, er, Padfoot,"

"Did you just correct yourself to use his nickname?" Lily asked, flabbergasted.

Potter stared back at her in confusion. "Well, yeah? We want to get to the point where we don't even use each other's real names. 'Course, Moony's always going to fuck up and use our real names but erm… yeah," he rubbed the back of his neck. Potter's cheeks were flushed pink from the alcohol. "Ready for an adventure then?"

"I'm considering sabotage, actually," she quipped, heading over to the portrait hole following the rest of the Gryffindors.

"No," Potter moaned, scandalized. "I'm too competitive for that. C'mon, Evans. For me?"

"You should've stuck with the competitive argument. Now that you've mentioned it's for you, I'm considering sabotage all the more," Lily muttered.

Potter shrugged. "So, what's the clue,"

Lily withdrew the parchment and read aloud. "I'll be fruity if you tickle me,"

Potter chortled.

Lily frowned. "What's that supposed to mean,"

Potter's face lit up. "Oh my, I'll get to show you something! Okay, follow me, this'll be fun!" his voice grew louder and louder as he went on, until it echoed through the school.

"Fuck, Potter, keep it down!" Lily hissed.

Potter smiled stupidly and waved her over. "We're off to a mystical land… where-"

"Cut the dramatics," Lily interrupted. "Where are we going?"

"To the dungeons… oOoOO" he twiddled his fingers around her face.

Lily continued to glare at him until the silence between them grew awkward. "Alright," he said, cringing.

He led her down the staircases without missing a step. They weren't doing a great job of sneaking about, if she was honest with herself.

"Shouldn't we be a bit quieter?" she asked in a hushed whisper.

Potter waved her off. "Teachers are asleep,"

"You're betting a lot on that assumption,"

"It's not an assumption. Siri-Padfoot gave them all a sleeping draught. Well, all save Dumbledore of course but he'd have recognized it anyway," Potter explained.

"You drugged the entire staff?" Lily squeaked. "What were you thinking!?"

Potter halted his progress and turned to face her. "Well, first things first, I didn't come up with that idea. It's stupid,"

Lily folded her arms over her chest. "Because you can't come up with a single stupid idea,"

Potter looked down at her, sincerely confused. "I don't," he said, disbelievingly.

"Oh my god, you actually believe that!" Lily gasped. "Holy fuck!"

Potter continued to stare at her apprehensively. "Anyway…" he continued. "It doesn't matter because they're probably getting the best sleep of their lives at the moment."

That, Lily thought, was the most accurate thing Potter had come up with since she'd met him.

He continued to lead her down towards the entrance hall when, just as she thought he'd go through the Great Hall, he took a right and went down an antechamber. Lily could remember seeing the Hufflepuffs heading this way to their common room.

"Potter where are we going?" Lily asked again. "The clue meant absolutely nothing."

"First of all, that clue was hilarious," Potter pointed out, "And second, it meant a lot,"

He stopped abruptly in front of a portrait of a bowl of fruit.

"He gets fruity when tickled," he said while he reached up and tickled the pear.

The portrait swung open, and Lily gasped. "How'd you find this!?"

"Aww," Potter held a hand over his heart. "She's impressed with me,"

Lily poked him in the chest hard. "Don't let it get to your swollen head. I don't want to be the one responsible for it exploding,"

She stepped into the kitchens and made a beeline for the note on the far wall containing the challenge for the room.

"You know," Potter slurred as he made his way over to her surprisingly steadily. His voice was the only thing that gave him away. "I reckon this'll be how we talk to each other once we're married,"

Lily stopped short. "Let me get something quite clear," she whirled around to face him. "We are never getting married. We are never even going so far as casually snogging,"

"That's where you show your lack of experience," Potter interrupted. "My snogging… is never casual. It is always an experience,"

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Right… anyway, this thing," she pointed to the space in between them. "Is nothing more than Black playing matchmaker. So, wake up from your silly fantasies, and get a life,"

She turned back to the wall and made her way toward the note. It contained instructions to perform a cooking competition with the elf-sized tools. She turned to tell Potter about what they had to do and found him at the entrance to the kitchens.

"Where are you going?" Lily asked angrily.

Potter shrugged and smiled half-heartedly. "I know you don't want to do this. You likely only came down to ease your conscience or something. If you don't want to play with me then we don't half to. We can just go back to the common room," he yawned and stretched his arms up above his head. "Besides, I'm exhausted.

Lily stared at him with her mouth open for a moment before swallowing and nodding. "Alright. Yeah, let's just go back…"

Potter nodded and held the portrait open for her. They walked back in silence.

Lily had a distinct impression that he'd faked his exhaustion. Perhaps he wanted to get away from her as badly as she wanted to get away from him.

Hopefully, that would be an end to the constant harassment.

---

One Year Later.

"Stupid arrogant prat. I swear to God, I'm going to fucking kill him. The nerve of him… after O.W.L's too! So, I finally wise up and come after him to his stupid secret midnight hang-out, and he loses his bloody mind. Who the hell does James Bloody-"

Lily's thoughts were cut short as the door to the viewing area slammed open and then closed. Potter walked in, evidently fuming.

"What the fuck is your problem!' Lily screeched. "So, I finally decide that I'm sick of yours and Remus's excuses, so I come out and follow you to your secret little Whomping Willow-"

"Shut the fuck up for a minute, Evans!" Potter was pacing furiously.

Lily was taken aback by his outburst.

"Do you have any fucking idea how close you just got to dying?" Potter asked in a low menacing tone.

Surprised by his demeanor, she answered truthfully, though her voice was coursed with rage.
"No, Potter, I don't… How about you go ahead and explain? Seeing as I'm so oblivious!"

Potter instantly deflated and waved his wand, seemingly without purpose, but had actually conjured a chair non-verbally.

"How'd he do that?" coursed through her mind but she didn't voice her shock and slight admiration at a bit of outstanding magic.

"That isn't my secret to share," he whispered. Lily wouldn't have been able to hear him if they hadn't been locked inside a sound-proofed room.

"Convenient," Lily hissed. Collapsing into a chair by verbally muttering the charm as quietly as possible. She didn't want Potter to one-up her.

"You need to picture it in your head," he said, taking her by surprise. He wasn't looking at her, but he pointed in the general direction of the chair she now sat in. "If you want to do it non-verbally," he elaborated. Lily rolled her eyes. He just had to explain everything.

Potter wasn't done, however. "The books… you know… they tell you you've got to really imagine yourself saying the spell, only, in your head, or whatever… truth is, you can just imagine the outcome and focus your magic… you know, that warm bubbly feeling in your arms… and picture your result. Then, well, voila," he flourished his hand and looked around the room, avoiding turning his head in Lily's direction.

"I don't care for your transfiguration lectures. God knows you make it quite clear how great you are at the subject every day. Believe me, Potter, I don't need more of your bragging." Lily huffed in reply. Folding her arms over her chest while secretly filing away his advice for later.

"I wasn't bragging," he said quietly. He seemed quite irritated with the thought.

Lily only hummed in acknowledgment. "Why do you sneak out once a month?" she asked, determinedly.

James stiffened. "As I said, that isn't my secret to share,"

Lily stood up. "So, I guess this is all to do with the bloody Marauders then? It's one of your little troupe secrets? Fine," she made her way to the door, but Potter beat her to it. He grabbed her by the arm and pinned her against the wall.

"Do not go out there," he said through gritted teeth.

Lily hated how attractive he was. If he wasn't such an entitled git, she'd have kissed him right then.

Cursing herself for even thinking that ridiculous thought, she said, "Just because you fancy me doesn't mean you can lock me in a room with you. You're such a creep! If you want to keep me here so bad, tell me why!" she insisted in the same manner.

Potter let go of her and took a step back. "Honestly, Evans, let me just set this straight with you. I get it, you don't fancy me. And you know what? I don't give a single flying fuck at the moment,"

Lily flinched at the way he was speaking to her but stood her ground.

"You can reject me however much you like! But putting me at risk. Putting yourself at risk, but most importantly, putting my friends in mortal peril the way you just did, is not okay!"

"Mortal Peril?" Lily shrieked in indignation. "What? Would I have caused one of your ridiculous pranks to have gone wrong?"

"You think that's how we got our bloody name?" Potter shouted. "No, Lily, we sneak out, we place our lives on the line to make sure that Remus doesn't fucking kill himself!"

Lily's shock stopped her in her tracks. "What?" she asked quietly. She'd done prefect patrols with Remus for months now. He seemed perfectly content.

Potter walked over to the window that overlooked the pitch. Initially, Lily thought he was going to stare in wonder at his ridiculous turf but instead he pointed to the night sky. "Figure it out yourself, Evans,"

Lily walked over to where he was standing and stared intently at the stars. Hogwarts truly did have a magnificent view of the cosmos. Unaltered by muggle grime.

"What is it?" she said, turning to face him. Her eyes focused on the reflection of the full moon in Potter's eyes, and it hit her. "Oh my god," she said, aghast.

Potter scowled down at her. "Yeah," he replied. Walking back to his conjured chair and sitting in it. His elbows rested on his knees, and he let his face fall into his hands. "The transformation is brutal… without us, he'd scratch himself to death... eventually."

Lily stared in open shock and slid down the glass until she was sitting on the floor. "How do you help him?" she asked, quietly.

Potter stared at her apprehensively for a moment before shrugging his right shoulder and standing up. There was a brilliant flash of white light, and in his place now stood an elegant stag. Its antlers were wide and beautiful. The eyes were a soft hazel and Lily noticed an odd tuft of hair sticking up at the back of the stag's head. She couldn't hold in the small laugh that escaped her lips at the sight of it. Even in his animagus form, his hair was unruly as ever.

He transformed back and smiled ruefully down at her. "Yeah, I keep my hair's tendency to... do its own thing,"

"So, you… what? Became animagi to help him? How does that work?"

Potter sighed. "He's… calmer when we're around. Me and Sirius are big enough that we could technically hold him in a fight in case a wizard got too close. Peter is small enough to stop the tree from moving and… well… yeah, we keep him company," he finished and ruffled his hair.

Lily couldn't help but feel as though she'd seriously… well, fucked up. She let her head fall. Resting her forehead against her drawn-up knees. "Fuck," she whispered.

Her head shot up when Potter spoke again after nearly five minutes of silence. "I don't know how he made it to Hogwarts, to be honest," it seemed that this was something he'd wanted to talk about for a while. Lily got the distinct impression that he wouldn't have said a word of this to Black or Pettigrew. "When we revealed to him what we'd been working on for the last… Merlin, must have been three years.," he paused, deep in thought, before nodding. "Anyway… when we told him he just," Potter shrugged his hands to the side and let them come together in a clap. His face set in a grimace. "He just cried, Lily. He never imagined anyone would do something like that for him and he just… he cried and then he laughed and, honestly, you know when someone smiles and you just… it's the best part of your day, you know? Well, that's what this was like. He was that happy." She noticed with a start that Pot- James, was teary-eyed. He wiped his eye and sniffed briefly. "It was Sirius's idea. We thought it mad, at first… but we just wanted Remus to stop hurting, I suppose."

Lily felt it then. An odd bubbling at the pit of her stomach and a strange giddiness that enraptured her senses. Something about James Potter in her mind had almost… fallen into place.

There was a long, prolonged silence. Nothing but the odd creak in the wood of the stands or the distant howl that Lily now knew came from Remus himself.

"You're not…" Lily bit her lip. "Am I seriously about to say this?" "You aren't an arrogant toerag, James,'

It was the first time she'd said his name properly in a sentence like this. She couldn't really apologize, because she wasn't exactly sorry, but she felt that this was appropriate.

"Actually, I am," he said, sighing. "But I'm working on it, I suppose,"

Lily shook her head. James Potter was just so… confusing...

---

"Please, Lily, I didn't mean it!" Severus cried at her feet, pleading like an animal.

It was later that night. She'd snuck back into the castle with help from James and was now watching her childhood friend grovel at her feet.

"No," said Lily coldly. "You've chosen your side. You've fallen to the dark arts. Go ahead and run off to Voldemort. Go torture some mudbloods,"

Severus looked horrified. "I would never-"

"Shut the fuck up, Snivellus," said James dangerously. He had climbed the stairs without Lily noticing. Clearly, he hadn't returned to his friends after guiding her back to the castle.

Severus was caught between Lily and James.

"Shove off, Potter!" Severus spat bitterly. That gleam in his eyes had returned, and his hand twitched for his wand.

"Look at yourself," Lily whispered, causing Severus to whirl around.

Sadness etched into her features, Lily reached forward and touched Severus's face. "You can't even resist it anymore. It's like an addiction. A parasite. What makes you think that in a battle, you won't take my life like the others,"

Severus stared back at her, gobsmacked. "Because… because you're you!"

"You keep saying that Sev," she murmured. "You've had a hard life. I pity you. But you've chosen your path, without any sign to better yourself. Stay away from me." and with that, Lily Evans never referred to Severus Snape as her friend again.

James made to push past Severus, but the latter stopped his progress. "You've poisoned her mind. Made her see things that aren't true!"

James fired off a spell that sent Severus flying away from him into the wall. "You're delusional," he said, shaking his head and making his way through the portrait hole, and away from Severus.

"You shouldn't have done that you know," Lily whispered. She was standing at the base of the stairs, her eyes glistening as she watched James.

James stood there, silent. "I know,"

Lily shook her head. "No, you don't," she said, tears cascading down her heart-shaped face. "You don't know, because if you did, you'd see that you're no better than him,"

---

"You know what bothers me the most?" said Lily in frustration. Banging her hand against the glass window in their compartment on the Hogwarts Express. "The fact that he's so inconsistent,"

Marlene shrugged, flipping through the paper. "Give me an example,"

Lily slumped against the seat. "Sometimes he's really sweet. Like, the other night,"

Marlene sat up. "You still haven't told me what he said,"

"I can't," Lily wailed. "It's not my secret to share,"

Marlene sighed and sat back on the bench. "Go on,"

Lily glared at her friend and continued. "Then there are moments like… earlier in the week when he hexed Sev because he was bored. Like, the fuck was that about?"

Marlene shrugged again.

"Then last night, he feels the need to hurt Sev when he was already hurt enough,"

"Thanks to you, and good riddance" Marlene added.

Lily faltered and moved past it, refusing to think too hard on Severus at the moment. "He's just such a prat but when he's on his own he's… he's alright,"

Marlene folded her newspaper in frustration. "You fancy him,"

Lily gaped at her friend before bursting out laughing. "How the hell can I fancy him if all I do is complain about him?"

"Hmm, let's see," Marlene tapped her finger to her chin. "You talk about him all the time,"

"Negatively,"

"You watch him all the time,"

"To make sure he isn't doing something stupid,"

"He's the only person who can get you really pissed off. Like, not even Severus could do that. All he did was make you sad," Marlene continued, overriding whatever Lily was saying.

"I've said it before, and I'll say it again. The next time that fucker asks me out, I'll deck him," Lily spat. "He's just such an arrogant twit,"

Marlene raised an eyebrow. "I thought you told him he wasn't an arrogant toerag?"

Lily sighed. She'd forgotten she'd told Marlene about that little detail. "That's different,"

Marlene hummed in acknowledgment. "You've got it bad, Evans,"

"Good God, even hearing you say my last name aggravates me. He's ruined my own last name!" Lily cried in shock.

Marlene laughed. "You're in love with him,"

Lily stared blankly at her friend. "Are you being paid to say this or something? Because I really don't understand where this is coming from,"

Marlene shook her head. "No, but I should be getting paid. Merlin knows I'm saving us all a lot of trouble,"

Lily shook her head in disbelief, and leaned against the compartment wall, closing her eyes and falling asleep.

---

Lily had never felt more alone than during that summer. Her family had gone to their aunt's summer home down by the sea, so there wasn't the constant reminder that Severus was locked in his house with nothing to do. As long as she wasn't home, she didn't have to think about him.

She hadn't been able to write to anyone, because her aunt didn't know about Lily's magic, and besides, Lily didn't have an owl.

She had a cat.

His name was Kat.

Petunia mocked her for the name, but Lily really didn't care. She'd taken too long to name it, so after months of her family calling the cat 'cat', it wouldn't have been able to respond to anything else. So, Lily opted for doing the bare minimum and changing the lettering to make it somewhat unique.

Kat was curled into the crook of her arm at the moment, as Lily sat up in the attic. Petunia had left for the town. She'd always been able to make friends quickly. Her boyfriend, a man named Pearce, wasn't exactly Lily's type of person, but she doubted the relationship would last so that was a relief.

Still, he lived in this seaside town, and that was a menacing thought.

Lily wanted to speak with her friends. Any of them. Whether it was Remus, who she'd slowly gotten to know over the course of the year thanks to their joint prefect duties, or Marlene. Either way, she wanted something to do with her world.

There was a war going on, and Lily had no way of keeping up with it.

She heard the door open from down below and sighed. That was surely Petunia, back with Pearce.

Instead, she heard her sister crying and storming through the hallway. She collided with the ladder to the attic, which was hanging down in front of her.

"Tuney?" Lily called. Kat had gotten off her lap and run into some distant corner. "You alright?"

"No," Petunia sobbed from the floor.

Lily sighed and slid across the floor towards the attic exit. She climbed down the ladder and joined her sister in sitting against the wall.

"What happened?" Lily asked, trying to remain as neutral as possible. Their sibling relationship had taken a nose-dive over the past few years, and Lily didn't know where they stood.

"Pearce said… I look like a horse,"

Lily bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from smiling. It wasn't funny. It really wasn't. "That's awful," she said sincerely.

Petunia nodded. "So, I asked him why he was going out with me if he found my appearance so repulsive," she sniffed. "He said he didn't want to anyway, and broke up with me,"

Lily awkwardly wrapped an arm around her sister. "Well… you know what?"

"What?"

"Fuck him,"

"I already did,"

Lily shook her head, cringing. "Not what I meant. Like, at all,"

Petunia frowned. "Oh, you mean like…"

Lily nodded.

"Oh,"

"Yeah…" Lily wanted to remove her arm desperately. The entire conversation might have been the most awkward experience of her life.

Petunia bit her lip and slowly leaned into her sister, resting her head on her shoulder. "What happened to us, Lily?"

Lily swallowed. In truth, nothing had come between them other than Lily's existence. She found it hard to sympathize.

"We changed, Tuney," she answered. "And change is hard to accept sometimes,"

Petunia nodded and sniffled. "We'll be sisters though. After everything,"

Lily took a deep breath and nodded. "Always."

---

"It's been three months and he hasn't asked you out a single time," Marlene pointed out as they sat down for breakfast in early December 1976.

Lily shrugged.

"I wonder if he's actually gotten over you or if he's grown up some," she continued.

Lily sighed and dug into her porridge. "Listen," she said through the food. "I reckon now that he's been forced to get to know me some, he knows that he isn't attracted to me passed the physical side of things. That's all that's happened,"

"Huh," someone mumbled, sitting next to her.

Lily turned to the voice. It was Sirius Black. "Can I help you?" she asked.

Black turned to her. "I heard you were raving about Prongs and had to come shut you down,"

Lily raised an eyebrow.

"He's lost interest in you. Given up. Entirely."

"Aha!" Lily cried jubilantly. "I told you,"

Marlene frowned. "Damn,"

"I know," Black interjected. "We all prayed for their union. Unfortunately, it would seem that Prongs was entirely wrong. After getting to know the real Evans, he found her unattractive and left for Juliane Edgecombe. Such a shame,"

Lily felt a jolt at Edgecombe's name. She was such a-

"But you don't care, do you Evans?" Black asked sweetly. "Not a care in the world,"

Lily stared intently at Black. "Why would I?"

Black shrugged. "Times change. People change."

NNN

James Potter's silence was starting to get on Lily's nerves. Oh, he was far from quiet in the friendship area. In fact, Lily felt as though she'd never been closer to the bloke. Without Severus, and Marlene being quite taken with Peter Pettigrew, Lily had paired up with Potter in a hesitant attempt at peace.

He'd been nothing but kind. In fact, he'd drawn a few laughs out of her.

Lily couldn't help but admit that she was impressed with James this year. He hadn't hexed anyone. Well, save Severus, of course. That fact still irked Lily, but she typically let it slide in support of Marlene, who felt it was her born right to enjoy Severus's downfall.

His silence in the other area of things was what bothered her. She couldn't explain why, but the fact that he was going out with Edgecombe felt wrong. Not in a jealous sense, but more the fact that she wasn't good for him. She was flighty and irritating, and her voice was like nails on a chalkboard. Whenever Lily and James exited Charms or Defence together, Edgecombe would find her way into their conversation. It was a blessing that she was a Ravenclaw, and as such, only had classes with her for potions and Herbology.

It was what she wanted though, wasn't it? James Potter had finally come to his senses and realized she'd never, not in a million years, be attracted to him.

It was well through March when Lily found herself in a distinctly regular situation. She was early to their defense class and was waiting for James to arrive. They'd be learning a new spell today, and their defense professor had been adamant that this was likely to be one of the more difficult spells to master during their time here at Hogwarts.

The door to the classroom opened, and the other sixth-years made their way in. James' recognizable hair caught her eye and without realizing it, she smiled stupidly.

"What's got you all cheerful," he asked, as he collapsed into the chair next to hers. Each desk in the classroom fit two people.

Lily frowned. "What do you mean?"

James looked at her curiously. "You were smiling up at me,"

Lily felt her cheeks flush, and she turned back to the desk. "I literally don't have any idea what you're on about,"

"Literally?"

"Literally," she affirmed.

"You say that word too much, you know," James scolded with a smirk. "You should diversify your vocabulary,"

Without thinking, she replied, "Damn. Haven't got a chance then, have I?" her eyes widened as the words left her mouth. She'd practically repeated exactly what James had said to her in their fourth year.

Luckily, James was looking down at his bag, retrieving his supplies. He laughed at her apparent joke and fingered through his notes.

He had really nice hands.

Lily shook herself and turned in her seat to face the front of the class. She hadn't even realized she'd been facing James.

The professor started his usual speech once everyone had come to class. James continued to write out his notes and occasionally move the feather of his quill over her hand to make her scratch it.

They were going to be practicing the Patronus charm. It was the only known defense against dementors, the guards of Azkaban. Of course, these guards were currently working for Voldemort, but Lily understood why the professor chose to skip over that topic.

Lily knew all this theory, of course. She'd had nothing to do over the summer but read her textbooks. It was the little details the professor added on his own that intrigued her.

Apparently, Patronuses could match with that of another. For instance, married couples tended to have a Patronus pair that complimented each other. Whether that was an eagle and a mouse, or a tortoise and a hare, it typically meant something.

He even went into detail on the psychology of love, something Lily hadn't expected whatsoever, and how if two people had the same Patronus, and were close friends or lovers, it was an indicator that one of them held a possessive, obsessive love over the other. Something their professor deemed could result in unhealthy behaviour.

Their defense classes were spent with the Hufflepuffs, so Lily didn't have to suffer any teasing for not being able to perform the charm.

They split up into pairs and stood across from each other, as though practicing a duel. James raised an eyebrow in her direction, silently asking if she'd go first.

Lily shook her head.

James nodded and held his wand aloft. He stared directly into her eyes for a few seconds. He was focused so intently, that Lily felt an odd rush go through her system.

"Expecto Patronum!" he cried, and out burst an enormous silver stag. It formed instantly before anyone had even shouted the incantation.

A pang of annoyance tingled the back of Lily's mind at how easy everything seemed to come to James, but she brushed it off. One of the things she'd come to recognize the most after becoming closer acquaintances was the fact that James worked quite hard for his grades in certain classes. Transfiguration was another story entirely. He had never even read the textbook, but for his other classes, yes, his performance was well-earned.

Lily held her wand in front of her as James's stag continued to prance about. James didn't even seem preoccupied with his performance. He was focused on her with an encouraging smile.

She thought for a moment, choosing a favourite memory.

Prior to the altercation at the end of last year, her favourite memories would have been spent with Severus. All those memories now, however, were tainted. She couldn't think of them without a great sorrow overtaking her.

So, instead, she focused on Marlene. Of their time together at Hogwarts. All the laughs, cries, screams, and squabbles. She let the magic flow through her arm, and just as James had before her, she cried, "Expecto Patronum!"

The light out of her wand was just as bright as James's had been. It streamed out of her wand like water. Contorting mid-air and forming spectral muscle fibers and tendons. Piecing together the creature her protector would be.

James's stag's head shot up from where it had been grazing on invisible grass. It threw its head over its shoulder and gazed, mesmerized at the second Patronus forming before it.

The creature continued to take shape, and finally, in a plume of light, a gentle silver doe stood where the magic had been. It stared intently at Lily before turning to inspect the world around it. It seemed to be inspecting its surroundings for dangers before finally, its eyes landed on the stag.

The two creatures stared at each other, just as Lily stared back at James with wide eyes.

Though she may have been shocked, James watched the interaction of the Patronuses with a furrowed brow. He ran a hand through his messy hair and swallowed, turning back to Lily.

"Good job," he mouthed with a hesitant smile.

Lily didn't know what to think. She stared at James for a full ten seconds before closing her eyes and taking a deep, steadying breath.

The class was dead silent. Even Sirius and Peter were quiet. Lily knew what everyone was thinking. They were turning the marriage example over in their head. A stag and a doe couldn't be a more accurate match. It was quite unnerving.

Eventually, the professor told the class to resume its practice and gave both James and Lily ten points.

Lily left class that day in a haze. She didn't even notice Edgecombe show up and fawn over James. Lily ignored it all and made her way to Care of Magical Creatures as fast as possible.

---

"You're such a prick!" Juliane Edgecombe screeched as James sat in his quidditch robes, covered in mud after the last match of the season. "You ignore me for days, and for what? Is it her again?"

Lily watched the altercation with a raised eyebrow, sipping her tea from a few seats down the table. Marlene and Peter sat near her, equally invested in the screaming match.

Well, Lily supposed it wasn't much of a match seeing as only Edgecombe was scoring.

James just sat there, eating his mashed potatoes in silence, waiting for Edgecombe to finish. He didn't even look at her, he just kept eating.

"Answer me!" Edgecombe insisted.

"This is where it'll get interesting," Peter murmured to the girls opposite him. "What do you reckon? Split or fix?"

Marlene and Lily hummed in contemplation.

"Split," said Marlene after a while.

"Has he talked much about his and Juliane's relationship?" Lily asked.

Peter shook his head. "Doesn't talk about much passed the shagging,"

Lily scrunched up her face in disgust. Marlene carrying a similar expression.

"Merlin… Juliane isn't even a moan-able name," she said as Edgecombe forced her way into a seat next to her boyfriend.

"James on the other hand…" Lily trailed off, not paying any attention to what she'd said.

Marlene slapped her on the shoulder, causing Lily to hiss in pain. "The hell was that for?"

Marlene gaped at her. "Do you hear yourself? Do you even know the things you say sometimes?"

Lily shrugged, fighting the blush in her cheeks. "I'm not wrong,"

"Well, no one's saying you are," Peter interjected. "We're just saying that it's a weird thing to say,"

"Well," Lily stood up from her dinner. "I think it's weird your friends call you Wormtail, but you don't hear me going on about it,"

Peter scrunched up his face in confusion. "That has nothing to do with this,"

Lily huffed. It's true, it really was irrelevant, but she'd needed some sort of come-back. She hauled her bag over her shoulder and started to walk out the hall.

She was a bit of an idiot, really. Especially in being the first to leave.

"You!" Edgecombe shrieked. "Don't talk to Jamie,"

Lily raised her eyebrows and smirked. "Alright. I'll talk to James instead,"

James snorted into his mashed potatoes and Edgecome turned to him in horror, tears forming in her eyes. "You're cheating on me, aren't you?"

"That's a bloody leap," Lily muttered, and Sirius snickered behind his glass of pumpkin juice, having been the only one who heard her.

"Listen, Juliane, I didn't mean to ignore you. I was focused on preparing for the game," James explained tiredly. "I'm not cheating on you. I never have, and I never would. Now, if you could please-"

"You fancy her though! Ever since your dad got sick, you've been talking to her more and more!"

Sirius's breath caught and James stopped shoveling potatoes into his mouth. Lily's eyes widened. Had that been why James had been so talkative over the past few months? It was the end of June now, and ever since December, he'd been more friendly towards her. He never hit on her or asked her out. (Surely, he shouldn't have, seeing as he was in a relationship.)

"Juliane… do you know what you are?" James whispered, rising from his seat. Edgecombe stared up at him worriedly. She'd recognized she'd made a mistake. The entire Hall was quiet.

"Go ahead, answer!" James encouraged, continuing his use of that low voice.

"Your girlfriend," she said, firmly.

James exhaled a laugh and closed his eyes, bowing his head and shaking it in disbelief. "No. No, you aren't,"

Edgecombe's jaw slackened and Lily's eyebrows found their way higher on her forehead.

"Then… what am I?"

James reopened his eyes and stared directly at his ex-girlfriend. "You're an insufferable, arrogant toerag,"

He scooped up his bag and left the Hall. Sirius leaned back and turned his eyes up to Lily's behind him. "Look at that," he crooned. "He's using your catchphrase and everything!"

Lily swatted him over the head and sighed as Edgecombe fell into a fit of hysteric sobbing. She got up from her seat and fled the hall, disappearing down the antechamber to the Hufflepuff common room.

"Where is he most likely to go?" Lily asked.

Sirius peered up at her appraisingly. "Who?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Jamie James Prongs Potter," she said in a singsong voice.

Sirius laughed and answered, "Astronomy Tower,"

Lily nodded and made her way out of the Great Hall and through the many hallways to the base of the Astronomy Tower.

She began her ascent, step by arduous step until she reached the main study area. She weaved around instruments and telescopes before climbing the final iron spiral staircase to the top platform.

A suspended magical model of the solar system hung in between her and James, who was standing with his shoulders hunched as he leaned against the railing overlooking the grounds. The delicate spirals of the Milky Way polluted the sky. Ravenclaw Tower could be seen, with its strange artistic turrets stood out in stark contrast to the surrounding natural Scottish landscape.

"We've split up, Juliane. I wasn't taking the mickey," said James clearly.

"I'd hope so. It'd be a shit prank," Lily replied nervously, not knowing how to approach this. Upon further reflection, she didn't know why she'd come up here in the first place.

James whirled around at her voice and stared at her through the model of the solar system. "Evans," he whispered.

Lily nodded, scratching the back of her neck ashamedly. "I figured you'd want some company,"

James stared quizzically in her direction for a moment before turning back to the overlook of the grounds. Lily took this as an invitation to join him. She walked around the centerpiece slowly, before sidling up next to him and watching the night sky.

"You don't seem too upset," Lily remarked idly.

James shrugged. "Wasn't going to last…"

Lily tapped her finger on the railing. "So… your dad… I didn't know,"

James sighed and bowed his head. "It's not a big deal,"

"Yes, it is. It's bothering you,"

"Well of course it's bothering me," James bit his lip. "My parents had me when they were very old… I've known this was coming,"

"Doesn't make it any easier," Lily shrugged. "My dad's dying. Slowly, sure… but he's dying."

James nodded and sighed. "She was getting on my nerves either way… I just sort of… didn't know how to end it,"

"Yeah. I could tell you wanted out," said Lily.

"Really? How?"

Lily shrugged. "Don't know. The way you stand around her. The way you sort of bottle up when she's around. The way you change your tone of voice and cross your arms over your chest when you're near her. I don't know… you've always seemed uncomfortable around her."

James turned to her. "You seem to pay an awful lot of close attention to my mannerisms. You know that not even Pad-Sirius could have picked up on all that, right?"

Lily blushed. "I'm observant,"

James stared at her again, before turning back to the grounds. The wind picked up and swirled her hair around her face. She tucked it behind her ears, bringing them forward. James chortled.

"What?"

James sighed. "Nothing. Just the way you look when you've got your ears like that," he reached forward and tucked a stray strand of hair she'd missed behind her left ear. He admired his handiwork before again turning back to the grounds.

"I never appreciated how wonderful this place was," James observed absently.

"It is beautiful," Lily commented as she subconsciously moved closer to him. "I remember when I first saw it. The lights against the water… Severus was so excited,"

James let out a long breath. "What happened with that?" he asked. "Why were you ever friends with him?"

Lily sighed. "He had a terrible life growing up. He showed me the world of magic. He explained everything that was happening to me. For the longest time, it felt like some in-depth game he had me in on, but then he taught me to control my powers… wandless magic, you know," she waved absently. "Then I got my letter, and everything fell into place. It was remarkable."

"So, he was a good person, once?" James asked.

Lily swallowed past the lump in her throat. "I'd like to think so. For the first three years here, he didn't let his mates get him in too deep on anything… He sort of kept to his own devices and hung around me. It was the end of third year that he started dipping his toes in the dark,"

James made an odd growling sound at the back of his throat. "He should never have done that."

Lily nodded. "Obviously… but I don't think he could help it. He was raised in an environment that hated him. That treated his mother like dirt. The first thing he'd want to grab hold of would be power… and the dark is the fastest way to get there,"

James shook his head in disbelief. "Yeah… but that doesn't excuse his actions,"

"Does your maturing excuse you of all your actions?" Lily countered, and James shrunk back, abashed.

"I think Severus found it addicting. The dark arts… they corrupt, and he fought it for a long time, at least whenever I was around. But in the end, he chose his side," Lily finished, sighing sadly.

"Do you blame yourself?" James asked after a long pause.

Lily thought about it for a moment. "Yes… yes, I think I do. Even though I know I am not to blame,"

James nodded. "If he was in a different house… the same as us, perhaps… you might have been able to save him. But down there with all those… loyal servants to-be… I think he was gone the minute the hat called his name,"

Lily shook her head. "Redemption can always be found, even in the weakest of souls," said Lily, repeating something her mother had told her over the summer when discussing Severus's turn. "I hope he can find it someday."

James nodded, even though Lily doubted he truly believed it.

"You've changed a lot, James," said Lily after an incredibly long lull in the conversation. "You've grown up,"

James laughed heartily, the first time since she met him up here. "Oh, yes… I'm a much better person now. A changed man! The leaf has been turned over!"

Lily giggled and shook her head in exasperation. "I'm just trying to give you a compliment to lighten the mood,"

James turned to her then, grinning. "Damn! So, it wasn't genuine then, huh? Just meant to bring the sunshine through the clouds?"

Lily turned her body to face him as well. The June air filled her nostrils. "Yup. Couldn't stand you moping about up here for that long,"

James shook his head, grinning like an idiot. Lily was hit with a waft of the scent from his hair. His hazel eyes glinted in the moonlight. He stilled his motions and stared down at her.

Her eyes shot to his lips inexplicably, before correcting themselves and looking right back up into his face. His expression remained blank even through the heating of Lily's cheeks.

"I wanted you," James murmured, his eyes darting to her forehead and slowly making their way around her face, tracing its shape. "For a long time,"

Lily felt that inexplicable pang of dread in the pit of her stomach. This wasn't exactly why she'd come up here, but she'd felt the fluttering and pangs and annoyances all year. She had sort of known what was going on.

Then there was the doe and the stag.

"What about now," Lily found herself saying. She felt oddly distant in the adrenaline rush of this conversation. She could feel his breath as he looked down at her. He wasn't much taller than she was. Only a couple of inches, but it was still a noticeable difference.

James's eyes twitched. "I don't know,"

Lily's lips parted of their own accord. "Because… I think I know," she whispered.

James's eyes locked to hers and dilated somewhat. "Do you?"

Lily hummed in ascent. "I think I want you," she breathed.

She saw it, then. The spark in the back of his eyes. Like something waking up after a long sleep. "You think...? Or you do?"

Lily licked her lips and nodded. "Kiss me,"

"What?"

"Kiss me."

James gaped at her for a moment. His eyes shot down to her lips and back to her eyes. He took a minute step closer. He tilted his head to the side imperceptibly and leaned forward. Lily let her eyelids flutter closed, and finally, James kissed her.

She'd never been kissed before, and she hadn't had many expectations. There were, according to Marlene, two types of people in snogging sessions. The ones where the world tuned out, and there was nothing but blissful enjoyment of the moment. And then there were the others, who thought about things the entire time.

It seemed Lily was the second.

Although, upon further reflection, as James began to move his mouth against hers, slipping his tongue in between her lips, she figured she was probably somewhere in the middle.

If someone had asked her with a gun to her head what she could hear or smell, she'd tell them to pull the trigger because she was entirely enwrapped in the feeling of the boy kissing her.

She felt his hands reach around her back, brushing against her sides sending a shiver down her spine. Then, his hands found themselves firmly on the small of her back, creating a strong fluttering in the base of her stomach. He pulled her in, and their bodies were pressed against each other.

Realizing she was just sitting there like a limp fish, she started to kiss him back. It was then that Lily let herself fly away. Drowning in the serotonin flowing through her body. She couldn't believe this was happening, really. She was snogging James Potter on the Astronomy Tower, not an hour after he broke up with his girlfriend.

It made her feel a bit giddy, actually.

She hadn't known if she'd fancied James. Not properly, at least. Hell, they weren't even close friends. Something about this feeling she had… was right. This wasn't the prat she'd avoided for years. This was a boy who had undergone real growth. Had changed not for her, not for attention, but for himself.

The wind picked up, blowing her long auburn hair into her face, tickling James and bringing the moment to an end. He pulled back and stared into her eyes, searching for any regret, insincerity, or discomfort in Lily's expression.

Lily smiled shyly and James broke out into a broad grin. He kept looking up and over the grounds, before turning right back to her and shaking his head. He was so unabashedly happy, and the butterflies in Lily's stomach hadn't bothered to take a moment of leave.

"Brilliant," he muttered over and over. Lily laughed at his antics and closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his sides and pressing her face into the crook of his neck.

He smelled really good.

When reflecting back on this moment in the future, she'd never understand why and how the whole series of events had unfolded the way it had. They hadn't become incredibly close as friends prior to this, so they barely knew each other. Lily had never had a moment of dawning realization that she fancied him. It had just sort of… happened.

If she was honest with herself, she was glad it played out like this. There wasn't any unnecessary drama. There wasn't any ridiculous will they won't they. Lily and James just happened.

"So," James whispered, his face buried in her hair. "I figured this might be a good time to ask,"

Lily snorted and stepped away from him. "If you're going to do this properly, you have to have the whole set-up,"

James chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "Alright," he stepped around the model solar system, so he was on the opposite end of the room from her.

"Alright Evans?" he asked, grinning confidently.

Lily smirked. "Alright,"

James began to make his way around the centerpiece. "Summer holidays start the day after tomorrow," he began. "I was wondering if you'd like to hang out… you know, me and you… during the summer,"

He was a few meters away from her. "Oh?" she asked. "And what would we be doing?"

James stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "Could… go on a walk,"

Lily hummed in agreement. "What else?"

James took a meandering step towards her. "Could get something to eat,"

"From where?"

"Your choice," James replied instantly.

"Hmm… I like my men decisive,"

James scoffed. "Right, well, seeing as I'm an oblivious pure-blood, I think you should take me around the muggle world,"

"Oh?"

James nodded. "So, you choose a place to eat…"

"And what else?"

James raised an eyebrow. "I find these things tend to be better when you don't plan them out,"

Lily grinned, thinking about the last ten or so minutes. "I reckon you're right,"

---

Lily and James weren't going out. At least, that's what Lily told herself and her friends. Because they noticed her idiotic smile that lasted the next two days. In those two days, Lily didn't talk to James once. Well, besides their usual banter in class.

In her head, Lily figured that they weren't going out for two reasons. One, he hadn't formally asked her. And two, no one knew about it.

She and James had spent time together in secret throughout the summer. He hadn't said a word of it to his friends, which surprised Lily. A small part of her had assumed he'd brag about it to them.

Marlene was growing increasingly frustrated with Lily's short letters, but Lily was simply too preoccupied with her… other friend to really notice.

Most of her days were spent writing to James. They talked about absolutely everything and nothing at the same time. It was so easy.

She did find his writing to be a bit lackluster. He wasn't great with details, leaving out large portions of information under the assumption that she'd understand.

She didn't understand 90% of the time.

Her owl was upsettingly slow at delivering letters, so James had taken to sending her Patronus messages. Lily couldn't for the life of her understand how he'd managed it, but every once and a while, a brilliant stag would appear in her room and speak in the disjointed, distracted speech of James Potter. Usually, you could hear him walking and breathing heavily from whatever he had been doing when he'd recorded the message. It was bloody hilarious most of the time.

Though, sometimes she could do without it. One time in late July, the stag had appeared at three in the morning, waking her up to James singing a Christmas carol. She'd never learned the context behind that event, but it left her curious as to what James got up to so late at night.

It was the end of August, and James would be coming over to her house for the first time. Prior to this, they'd met up in London around the Leaky Cauldron, this time however, Lily had asked for permission to invite him over, and her parents had accepted.

Petunia wouldn't be there. She was out with her fiancé. A man a few years older than her who she'd met while dating Pearce. Lily was still subtly convinced that Petunia had cheated on Pearce, but that was neither here nor there.

Petunia had been proposed to by this new man after only two months of dating. Lily found this incredibly strange. She'd received a scattered letter through the Hogsmeade post office explaining the entire situation.

He was a man named Vernon Dursley. He had a stable, simple job, and a stable, simple life. It was entirely safe and predictable.

Which was exactly the way Petunia would have liked it. So, she couldn't exactly complain. If her sister was happy, then so be it.

Lily was just finishing getting ready when the doorbell rang. She quickly sinched her belt and clattered down the steps, her precariously tied hair held strong.

She reached forward and pulled the door open. There he was, holding a bouquet of flowers and dressed in proper muggle attire, something Lily had taught him.

"Hi!" she beamed.

James laughed. "Hi,"

They stared at each other for a while before Lily took a deep breath and led him in the house. "Make sure to take of your shoes," she advised nervously.

James chuckled and toed them off.

"Oh, so you must be James!" Lily's mother cried excitedly and unnecessarily. "How wonderful to finally get to meet you,"

Lily cringed at that. She'd done nothing but complain about him for nearly six years and here she was, inviting him over for dinner. All her parents really knew about him was that she'd been hanging out with him plenty and that he used to be an arrogant prat.

"And you must be… Mrs. Evans!" James said back, equally as excited. Lily groaned as her mother instantly reached up and hugged James before inspecting the flowers. "These are truly wonderful! You shouldn't have!"

James smiled sheepishly. "They're from my back garden. They keep all food around them fresh for as long as this plant is alive,"

Lily's mother gaped in awe at the plant. "So, they're magic?"

James nodded and looked around. "They'll need a good vase…" he trailed off.

Lily's mother waved him off. "Don't worry, dear. We'll find one, I'm sure of it. Come in properly, come now," she gave a pointed look to Lily, as though silently communicating that this was a joint effort and that she should join her in leading James to the kitchen.

They found a vase and filled it with water. Just then, Lily's father came in from the shed in the backyard. "Say!" he called. "You're already here!"

James held his hand out. "I am! James Potter, it's nice to meet you," they shook hands.

"Firm handshake that one," Lily's father winked at her.

Dinner and its subsequent aftermath weren't all that bad. There were a few times that Lily itched to be alone with James, but for the most part, she was pleased with her parent's reactions to James. From the looks of it, they were far more reciprocating of him than they had been of Pearce or Vernon.

Eventually, long after the sun had set and dessert had been consumed, James announced his leave. "I've got to pack tomorrow, you know," he said in explanation.

Lily nodded, having an entire closet to throw into her trunk by tomorrow at 11 as well. She thanked her parents for dinner, as did James, and the two of them went out the front door.

Lily quietly swung it shut and sighed in satisfaction as James wrapped his arms around her middle and bent his forehead down to meet hers. "I've got a question for you… you know… a real one," said James.

"Oh?"

"I was wondering… if maybe you'd like to do this properly. If you'd like to go out with me,"

"Phrase that as a question," said Lily

"Would you like to go out with me?" James asked, his lips fighting a smile.

"I guess… one date."

James rolled his eyes. "Right, because we haven't been basically going out for an entire summer,"

"Course not," Lily grinned. "You've got to prove yourself in Hogsmeade,"

James groaned, throwing his head back. "That isn't until October!" he cried in annoyance.

Lily laughed. "Fine, James. I'll go out with you. You can go tell Moony, Padfoot, and Wormtail or whatever,"

James snorted. "I'm surprised they haven't figured it out,"

Lily laughed, so full of the giddiness in her chest that she didn't hear the muffled thumps and groans from inside her house.

Then, they heard glass shatter. James immediately tensed.

"It's fine, James," Lily soothed. "My mum breaks things all the time,"

But James remained silent, looking around and breathing as quietly as possible. "Stay quiet, and draw your wand," he whispered.

Lily furrowed her brows but nodded and did so. Gripping it firmly in her left hand. She followed right behind James, crouched low and inspecting every angle as they slowly made their way back through the house.

All the lamps had gone out, but there was some residual light coming from the small bar over the oven. Casting an eerie green light in the kitchen.

James plastered himself flat against the wall before moving into the kitchen. He froze.

Lily followed right after. Her breath caught in her throat.

Her mother and father lay sprawled on the floor. Glass sticking out of their necks. Their throats had been cut right over the jugular. Blood pooled over the floor, their clothes seeping it in.

"Mum? Dad?" Lily whispered faintly. The shock of the situation not having resonated with her yet. "Mum?" she collapsed to her knees and crawled forward towards her mother. Her blood staining her hands and her pants.

Her father was still alive, she could see it in his eyes. He mouthed a piece of an old song he'd sung to her as a little girl. "Sunshine," Then, the light in his eyes died, and his neck muscles relaxed into the floor.

"Lily, Lily come on." James cried from somewhere far away. Far, far away. This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be possible. "Lily! We need to go! Come on, we need to go!"

An explosion erupted from somewhere behind her, throwing her and James forward, further into the kitchen. Lily hit her mother's body while James flew into the kitchen cabinets.

The ringing in her ears was almost too much to bear. She pawed for her wand and found it resting around her knees. She heard James groan from where he'd fallen and looked up at him. He was covered in blood, probably from her mother and father.

He raised his wand at the entryway and cried a spell Lily couldn't hear. The after-effects of the explosion still rocked her ears.

"James?" she called; her voice oddly muffled. She saw movement above the sink and shot a stunning spell at it. It caught the target, who had been in the midst of climbing through the shattered window. He fell to the floor, limp.

James mouthed a "thank you" her way. Though she supposed it could have been verbal. She couldn't hear.

Then, something grabbed hold of her leg. She was pulled from the kitchen. The last thing she saw was James scrambling to his feet to chase after her.

She was swung around, her head slamming against a metal railing right outside her house.

"I don't give a damn what Snape thinks," the man who had taken her grunted. "You're no better than the rest,"

Lily kicked her leg into the man's stomach, forcing him to double over in pain, letting go of her leg in the process. James ran out and shot a spell at the man, forcing him down to the ground.

Right then, the sounds of tires on gravel met her ears, and Vernon Dursley's car came into view.

Lily sat up; her head spun from being hit so many times. She blinked rapidly, the shock and adrenaline in her system forced her to get over most of the effects rather quickly. She got to her feet hesitantly, leaning heavily on James, who had come to help her up.

They must have been a foul sight. Covered head to toe in blood and grime. James's glasses were cracked, one of the lenses had shattered entirely.

Petunia got out of the car and screamed at the sight of them. Vernon followed closely after. "What the bleeding hell is going on here?" Vernon cried.

Lily sobbed, turning to James and clutching his arms. She heard Petunia rush inside, calling for her parents. Then came the blood-curdling scream. The wails and the prayers. The questions and the anger. Vernon rushed inside to his fiancé and helped her out of the house.

Lily could feel James crying, though not as hideously as she.

Her parents were dead.

"You did this!" Petunia screamed. "Your people! Your freakish little world! I'd begun to accept it, drive it out of my mind, but here you were, leading those foul people into our house!"

"This isn't Lily's fault!" James roared.

Petunia sobbed, snot dribbling from her nose. "If you'd never gone to that freakish school, we'd never have been in any of these situations! You might as well have killed them yourself!"

Lily shook her head, eyes closed into James's shoulder. "No… I didn't… Tuney… please don't go,"

Petunia laughed mirthlessly, walking back to the car. "Oh, I'm leaving! I will never speak to you again! Do you understand that? NEVER!"

She collapsed into the passenger side of the car, slamming the door shut. Vernon followed her example and got the ignition. The headlights streamed against the now haunted exterior of her childhood home. Lily broke free from James's grasp and ran after the car, which was slowly backing away. She pounded her palm against the window desperately, tears streaming down her face.

"Please! What happened to sisters? Always?" she cried, but Vernon did nothing but accelerate. Petunia stared intently at the dashboard of the car, away from her sister. "Tuney! Please!"

Petunia looked up, their eyes locked, and she shook her head.

Lily stopped running after the car then. She stood there, arms hanging limply by her sides, staring at the car as it whirled around, and switched into first gear, leaving Spinner's End.

Lily sniffed. Too shocked to even realize what was happening. She heard James approach her from behind and welcomed his warmth as he enveloped her in an embrace.

Her parents were dead, and despite what James was now repeating in her ear like a mantra, it was her fault.

---

Their seventh year was spent in a haze of conflicted emotions and dread. The war's severity had increased dramatically over the summer, and the Ministry seemed to have absolutely no control over the situation. The world was ripe with troubles, death, and crime.

Lily Evans was one of, if not the top student in her year. She was Head Girl. The Head Boy was, surprisingly, James Potter.

Though, it wasn't surprising. Over the course of the year, she got to know James even more personally than she had over the summer. He was a natural-born leader. She couldn't explain it, but once he set aside his prickish tendencies, he garnered all the attention in the room. He had a way of earning others' respect that astounded Lily. So, when Lily and James spent hours upon hours roaming the halls of Hogwarts, talking or just enjoying each other's silent company, she understood.

She understood her feelings for him.

She loved him, and she made sure he knew that well before she actually told him. There were some close calls, but none of the professors ever actually caught them at it.

God bless the Marauder's Map could've been tattooed on Lily's forehead at this rate.

It was James's 18th birthday when Lily finally told him.

"I'm in love with you, you know," she said, as though it held no semblance of value.

James blinked once, twice, before he was pressing her up against the wall, starting the whole process over again.

Again, Lily was pleased with the existence of the Head's private quarters.

Surprisingly, news of them dating, once it had gotten out at the start of the year, hadn't been met with much fanfare. Sirius and Peter were the only ones who seemed truly ecstatic and threw quite the event. Remus had shrugged a bit, blushed, and said he was happy for them.

Marlene was under the impression that Remus had had a crush on Lily, and this was why he'd reacted so strangely.

Lily didn't really care, because Remus was pleasant enough, even though with that context, she felt a bit bad for him.

Marlene and Peter were still going strong. Marlene was under the impression that once the war was over, and Peter had fought his part, they'd get married.

Marriage was, unfortunately, also something on Lily's mind. She had no money and no place to stay. James had offered her a place at his manor home, but this had made Lily uncomfortable, so she'd opted to surround her house with wards and other enchantments following the death of her parents. It had only been one night, but she'd caught no sleep and found no comfort in that bed.

She'd need to move on. To leave.

James, naturally, brought his Quidditch Team to the final and won. He even received a plaque for his efforts, stored in the trophy room of Hogwarts forever after.

The train was leaving Hogsmeade station, and Lily and James were on the platform, waving children onto the train. They were the last two on the platform, with two minutes to spare.

"Well, I'd say we're the best Heads this school has seen in Years," James noted proudly, raising an eyebrow to his girlfriend, daring her to disagree.

Lily smiled and put on a pompous voice. "Yes… quite,"

James snorted and turned around, facing the castle. Its many turrets could be seen right above the treetops. "I'll miss it," he said quietly.

Lily nodded, coming up to stand next to him, wrapping her arm around his waist. "It'll always be here… No reason you can't come for a visit from time to time. Besides, with Dumbledore recruiting for the Order, we might be back sooner than you think."

James nodded. "I was wondering if I could ask you something," he said, a twinge of nervousness escaping through his tone.

Lily waited patiently. He fiddled with something in his pocket and withdrew it. Its velvet case was instantly recognizable. Lily swallowed past the nervousness in her throat as James flicked the lid open with his thumb.

"Care to marry me, Evans? Or should we wait a few years," said James, casually leaning into her side.

Lily laughed and reached forward, taking the brilliant ring in her hands and turning it over. "Yeah, James, I'll marry you,"

"Brilliant!" he cried, taking the ring and slipping it onto her finger. They performed the entire act with their backs to the train. No one had any idea of what had just happened, but Lily felt as though she was floating on a cloud.

---

The wind was strong over the cliffs of Dover. They'd had a tipoff about Regulus Black's whereabouts. Sirius had refused to go out and search for him. He couldn't get himself to face his brother on a battlefield. So, it was she, James and Remus who followed the trail.

They'd been following a hooded figure for days now, and he seemed to finally have noticed their presence.

"You shouldn't be here," the hooded figure spoke menacingly. "I do not take prisoners,"

"We don't give a damn, Reg. Take off the bloody mask and face us," James shouted.

"You think I'm Regulus? You truly think that is who I am?" the man sneered. Then, he whirled around and shot a bright violet spell towards James. He ducked and rolled. Lily was still taking cover behind a rock.

Making a split-second decision, she got to her feet and shot a spell straight at the man's face. For some reason, the man froze, and let the spell hit him directly in the face.

It sent him sprawled on his back. Lily quickly ran towards the man, but she too froze when she saw him.

It was Severus.

"Sev," she breathed. He stared back up at her, horror traced across his features. She'd never seen him in his full death eater robes. It was appalling to see. "Look what you've become,"

James and Remus caught up and realized who they'd caught. Remus raised his wand, but James held his arm out, stopping Remus from firing.

James looked up and made eye contact with his wife for a solid three seconds. They'd spent countless hours discussing Severus, trying to figure out a way to talk to him, to reach out and pull him out of the hole he'd dug for himself. Because Lily had always held out hope that redemption was possible. She believed in second chances.

James, despite the fact that Severus was fighting for the enemy, had vowed never to harm him in open combat, should the moment arise in which they'd come face-to-face.

Then, Snape shot a spell straight at James, sending him flying backward, blood spurting from his face.

Snape kicked Remus in the shin, causing him to fall on his face, and shot to his feet, running in the opposite direction.

"You're fucking pathetic!" Lily screeched. "You coward! Go ahead and run, Severus! Just like your father!"

She heard a loud pop of apparition and rushed to her husband's side. The spell was complex, but she'd encountered it before. The counter curse was performed like a song. The cuts on his face slowly healed, and the blood seeped back into him. James took a deep, shuddering breath and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Lily," he murmured. "I'm sorry he's like that,"

Lily shook her head. "I don't care anymore. As long as you're safe,"

---

The years with James were like something out of someone else's life. Through the wedding and the war. Through his parents' deaths and the various betrayals over the years, their relationship was a constant, unbreakable force. Every hour spent together was worthwhile, no matter how much suffering had to occur for them to finally be alone.

Sirius had been James's best man, with Marlene taking the reigns as the maid of honour. It was a quiet affair, mostly teachers and friends, as well as the Order of the Phoenix.

Then, a few years after Hogwarts, something truly terrible happened.

James always cooked eggs in the morning. Even though the house elves could have easily performed the task. Today, however, the thought of the smell of those eggs made Lily want to throw a brick through a window and vomit.

"Please… please don't make eggs," she said, holding her hand to her mouth.

James raised an eyebrow but nodded all the same, choosing instead to spread avocado on a piece of toast.

That had been the first warning.

There were others, and eventually, Marlene told her to take a pregnancy test.

Lily learned the charm and cast it on herself. The reading came back positive.

It was here that Lily got closer to Alice Longbottom. She had been a year or two ahead of Lily and James in school and learned of her pregnancy on the exact same day as Lily had. These sorts of things had to come up in Order meetings, for the safety of the organization.

James had had the same reaction as Lily. They'd talked about kids before, it was true, but she was nineteen, almost twenty, and it was the middle of a war in which she was a prime target. She didn't want to bring a child into the world if it would be subjugated to the terror of Voldemort's reign.

There was discussion of abortion for a while, but that all came to a screeching halt when Dumbledore was told a prophecy of the one who would destroy the Dark Lord once and for all. Now, there was a sense of urgency to this baby, and Lily and James made the decision to keep it.

Prior to them knowing it was a boy, James had hoped for a girl. He claimed that the first child being a girl would be best for the second because then she could give advice if they had a son later down the line.

James's excitement over the whole thing wasn't lessened by the revelation of their baby's gender. In fact, as the months passed by, and Lily and James were driven into hiding under Peter's protection, James's anticipation of being a father continued to grow.

He'd have active conversations with her bump, sometimes going so far as to move Lily so he could have a more direct conversation with their son.

The name took a while to sort out. James had plenty of ancestors to draw from, but he was adamant about not honouring someone's legacy.

They'd gone through many options. George, William, Michael, Evan, Addison, and many, many others.

It wasn't until the day her water broke, and she was whisked off to St. Mungo's via emergency portkey that she settled on a name.

Harry.

James was there, he was talking to her, whispering words of encouragement that fell on deaf ears. The whole experience would've been unbearable had she not mastered a magical technique that few had ever managed to accomplish.

Regretfully Uncaring.

She left her body behind. Its pain, the emotions surrounding it, and drifted in the in-between. She made sure not to stray too far, walking the fine line between life and death. Nothing but her mindscape and the imagination it contained.

Eventually, she knew it was time to return, so she brought the roots of her body back to her mind and reconnected with reality.

She was sore and breathing hard. James cut the umbilical cord and held Harry for the first time. After the necessities had been taken care of, James brought Harry to her.

He gently laid the wailing bundle in her arms. She couldn't take her eyes off him. After months of discomfort and anguished waiting, he was here.

"Harry," she crooned softly, holding her son protectively close to her chest.

James chuckled faintly, tears forming in his eyes. He seemed thoroughly stressed, running both his hands through his hair. "That's a good name," he said.

---

She could tell James was unhappy. It had been a year and twelve days since Harry's birth, and that year had been both wonderful and miserable. According to Dumbledore, they had to remain in hiding like this until Harry could feasibly take care of himself. It was bothersome that Dumbledore seemed to treat Harry as a sort of asset, a weapon. To Lily, he was her son. The most brilliant light in the world. Not a tool to win a war.

A war that had quickly dissolved into a nightmare. Last week, Marlene was killed. What the death eaters had done to her was unimaginable.

Since then, the morale she and James had carried for so long had started to collapse in on itself. She'd sat in her room, crying for days on end. Only coming out to spend time with Harry and see the outside.

She had just sent a letter off to Sirius. Giving him a quick rundown of their family events since they last saw him and thanking him for the gift he'd sent Harry. So far, Sirius truly was an excellent godfather.

Peter, naturally, had suffered the most from Marlene's passing. A few months ago, he'd confessed that he had purchased a ring, and was planning to propose on her birthday, the 27th of August.

Peter would never get to propose now.

She shrugged those thoughts aside and continue to rock Harry in her arms. He was dead asleep, for the time being. She hummed an old rhyme her father used to sing to her, absently staring out the window.

"Fabian and Gideon's sister had another kid! Merlin's pants you'd think she'd have given up by now," James shouted from downstairs.

Lily laughed. She'd met Molly Weasley once before, waiting for a checkup on her pregnancy with Harry. Molly herself had been pregnant at the time, though farther along than Lily. She'd received some fair advice on being a mother and had been the one who'd recommended Regretfully Uncaring.

At the time, it had meant the world to Lily, especially since she didn't have any mother figure left in her life.

Lily lowered Harry to his crib and shut the light off, leaving the door slightly ajar and silently making her way down the steps.

"Is it a girl?" Lily asked, remembering the hopes Molly had confided in her over a year earlier.

James flipped the paper back over and read. "Yes. Her name's Ginevra," he scrunched up his nose. "Terrible name,"

Lily laughed lightly. "I think it's a beautiful name. Besides, they'll shorten it to something like 'Gin' or whatever…"

James stared over his tea incredulously. "If you think that's a wonderful name, I'm not letting you name our daughter,"

"Ah yes, our daughter who is real and happening," Lily teased, pouring herself a cup.

James smiled. "I want one,"

"I know you do,"

There was a long pause. "What's stopping us, really?" he asked.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Not wanting to raise a child in a war, let's start there. James," she sighed. "You're just bored,"

James bobbed his head from side to side. "Right, yeah, but don't you think it would be better if Harry wasn't alone growing up in such a shitty world," he sat up straighter. "I mean, listen, even living in peacetimes, growing up alone sucked. If he had someone else… someone to lean on. I don't know… I think it'd be good for him,"

"You sound like Petunia when she said she wanted another hamster because he needed a friend," Lily quipped, not taking James entirely seriously.

James shrugged. "I'm just saying…"

"Well, you aren't the one who has to carry the damn thing for nine months, so I don't think you have one hundred percent say,"

James smiled, unabashed. "I know that Lils. I'm just bringing up what's on my mind. I'm not going to do anything unless you want to,"

Lily nodded approvingly.

---

"I'm pregnant,"

James spewed coffee out over the kitchen table, much to Harry's delight as he clapped his hands in his high chair.

"Seriously?"

Lily sighed exasperatedly. "No, James, it's just a joke. HAHA, such an excellent bloody-"

James clamped his hands over Harry's ears. "How dare you spew such profanities in front of our innocent son," he said, gasping for air.

"This is a serious bloody issue!" Lily hissed. "We can't tell Dumbledore; he'll throw a fit!"

James nodded. "We can tell Moony? He's the one who set up your emergency portkey for Harry,"

Lily nodded. "Tell Remus but no one else. Okay? Not even Sirius,"

"What about Peter? He's the one who's keeping us alive!" James complained.

Lily shook her head. "Not even Peter."

---

"Halloween is fun, James, you're just boring," Lily complained as she hung an orange and black streamer across the front of their cottage.

"It's just a load of work spent on nothing. I mean, no one can even see the house beyond the property line," James countered.

Lily sighed. "I'm only trying to pretend that we have free reign over this place. Besides, Harry will love it,"

Harry was currently dressed as a cat, with whiskers drawn onto his face, picking at the flowerbed.

"Have you heard back from Remus?" Lily called as she stepped off the ladder and brushed her hands on her overalls.

"Yup!" said James, fiddling with the pond he'd made in their back garden. "Told me congratulations and he too hopes it's a girl,"

Lily chuckled at his enthusiasm, and scooped Harry up off the ground, bringing him around back. "If you want a girl so bad, you better have some names prepared for me this time,"

James smiled and tapped his wand to the surface of the pond, setting it to glow orange. Harry quickly complained to be let down and Lily watched him walk to the pond's edge and wade in the water.

"Brave bugger,"

Lily and James whirled around at the voice and found Peter standing there, looking as solemn as ever.

"Peter!" Lily cried excitedly. She wrapped her arms around him and swayed him from side to side in the embrace. She let go only for James to repeat the motions.

"Are you doing alright?" Lily asked gently. She hadn't seen much of him since Marlene's death and wanted to know how he was holding up. He rarely responded to their letters, and when he did, they were full of bland, wandering sentences.

"I'm… not great," he admitted, sitting in one of the lawn chairs that occupied the space.

Lily smiled sympathetically and sat opposite him. James waved his wand, summoning two butter beers and a water.

Lily sipped at her water and sighed. "I miss her too, Peter. I can't imagine what it's like for you… especially with-"

"Yeah," Peter interrupted. "It's not great… but it is what it is. Life just happens,"

James nodded. "How's your mum?"

Peter sighed again. "Not great either. She's sick. Really sick."

Lily reached forward and grabbed hold of his hand, squeezing it gently. "I know it looks like there's nothing good in the world… I know it's hard, but we've got to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel,"

Peter nodded, inspecting the garden around them. "Thank you for the drink, Prongs, but I only came by to make sure you lot were alright," he gave a tight smile and got to his feet. Harry stumbled and fell into the water, his head submerged.

"Shit," James muttered, getting to his feet and going to help his son.

"Here, I'll walk you out," Lily offered, making her way towards the front garden.

They stopped at the kissing gate right at the front of their property. "If you need to talk to anyone, Peter… I'm here. Remus and Sirius are there… James is there… we all want to help. We all love you very much,"

Peter nodded, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. "I know. I know you all love me and… and I love you too. I do," he let out a shaky breath. "But sometimes it gets so dark in here," he tapped the side of his head. "That the light at the end of the tunnel seems so distant…" he trailed off, sniffling slightly.

Lily rubbed her hand up and down his arm soothingly.

"Sometimes I just wish everyone would suffer as much as I have, so I wouldn't have to be the only one left with this empty feeling," he confessed, seemingly to himself.

Lily nodded. "I understand that. I do. I couldn't imagine a world without James… or Harry…"

Peter took a deep breath, refusing to make eye contact with her. "I think you'll make it out of this just fine. I'm sure of it," he smiled down at her and patted her shoulder before leaving through the kissing gate, and disappearing through the wards.

Lily didn't know if when he said 'you' he meant her, or 'you' as in her family.

---

"Oh, there won't be many coming home,

"Oh, there won't be many, there may not be any, but there won't be many coming home,

"If they all came back but one, he was still some mother's son,

"And there won't be many coming home,"

Lily was exhausted, resting on the couch with Harry cuddled into her side. James sat on the other end of the couch, rubbing her feet absent mindedly as the record finished its tune.

The sound of a door slowly opening met Lily's ears and she shot up. No one was supposed to be here. She picked Harry up; he stirred in her arms as James got to his feet and made his way to the front door.

"It's him! Lily, take Harry and run! RUN!"

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" a brilliant flash of green light glowed from the hall James had gone to, his wand lay on the couch.

"James!" Lily cried out, shocked to her very core. Everything had happened so fast.

Fighting back tears she ran as fast as she possibly could. Quickly, she tried to apparate and fell under the sensation of an anti-apparition ward.

She ran up the steps, hearing Voldemort's manic laughter from below. She made her way to Harry's room. There were alarm spells set all over the property. Surely someone would come.

She kicked the door shut and rushed Harry to his crib.

"Mummy loves you, Harry. Always," she whispered, kissing his forehead and rushing to the door again. She piled every object she possibly could against that door. The rocking chair, the bookcase, the lamp. Everything was shoved up against it all as she refused to let herself think.

Then, she slowly backed towards the crib. She crouched down and looked at harry through the bars. His brilliant green eyes misted over with tears. "It's okay," she crooned. "Help is coming. Daddy's coming,"

She knew that wasn't true. She knew there was no possible way to survive the killing curse. It was impossible.

Impossible.

Harry sniffled. Lily was surprised by how calm he was. Besides the remnants of tears in his eyes, he wasn't wailing.

She sniffled, reaching forward and touching his soft hands. She loved his hands. The way they reached up and grabbed James's glasses every time he could. How he gripped the toy broom.

The door to the room was blasted open, shooting across the room and against the opposite wall. Lily quickly stood tall; her arms stretched out in a protective gesture. There was no chance that she'd let him get to Harry. She didn't give a damn about a prophecy; she didn't care what Dumbledore saw her son as. Harry needed to stay alive because he deserved a chance to live.

"Not Harry!" she cried desperately. "Please not Harry!"

"Stand aside girl!" Voldemort screeched. "Stand aside and you may live,"

Lily didn't even take a second to consider that ridiculous proposal. She just needed to stall for time. Help would come. Peter would come.

"Please not Harry!" she screamed. "Take me! Take me instead!"

It seemed Voldemort had no trouble with that option. He raised his wand, Lily saw his mouth move to speak the incantation, and the green spell shot from its tip towards her heart.

Lily thought of Marlene, her blonde hair billowing behind her as she stood on top of the sixth-floor charms classroom. Of Alice and her son, Neville. She thought inexplicably of Molly Weasley, a woman she barely knew, and her daughter, Ginevra.

She thought of Petunia and their time as the ideal sibling pair when they were young. She thought of her son, Dudley.

She thought of Severus and his mistakes. The laughter he'd once brought her.

Then she thought of James. Of how she'd hated him. How he'd changed and grown and become the man she'd love forever and always.

Always.

She thought of the unborn baby which lay within her, having yet to become a person.

And finally, as the spell neared her body, as she continued to scream and plead for her son's life, she thought of Harry. Of him growing up, smiling and proud. Of going to Hogwarts and making friends. Of finding a girl and asking her, Lily, for advice. Of marrying and finding a passion and career.

She thought of Harry.

Then the spell collided with her. Death was quicker than falling asleep. Everything went dark, and she was left adrift in the in-between. Lost forever on the hour hand of the clock.

---

Adrift. That was where she was. Floating above yet below all the existed. She felt an odd tugging from her middle, then, she watched as she distanced herself from her floating body. She'd become a duplicate of herself. A clone of her very soul.

Her soul, a large, ball of light, fell (or perhaps it rose) back into a world she knew. Of faces and smells and sounds and lights.

A boy was scrambling out of a forest, a bite mark on his arm. He was panting heavily, and Lily saw a dark shape leave the scar on his forehead. Well, at least that was gone.

The ball of light, her very being, fell into Harry. Becoming absorbed in his own body.

And now she could see. Now she could breathe. Now she could smell. She was alive vicariously through her son. His voice of reason, the voice of comfort.

She despised that it was her who would take that mantle. Not because she did not wish to get to know Harry, and for him to know her, but because it should have been someone else. It should have been Petunia or Vernon. It should have been Sirius or Remus.

It should have been Peter.

She watched, proud and resolved, as her son grew and developed. As he learned by mistakes and from her guidance. How he managed to reshape the way he approached conflict.

She watched as he met a girl properly. The only one who could ever understand. She watched as they grew close over the summer months, and only returned to Hogwarts to become closer still.

She watched as Harry's mind developed. How mature he was for his age. How strong his determination and resolve truly was.

She was proud of the man he'd become. Kind, creative, endearing, but still true. He was still Harry.

He made his fair share of idiotic decisions. She chastised him, taught him, guided him.

It was in December when she first felt the pull to return.

To return to the realm to which she belonged.

Because he had a dream. A dream that connected two people. A dream that was shared among two souls.

Of two teenagers, dancing on a moonlit rooftop, accepting their feelings for one another.

The dream was created by both Harry and Ginny. Their minds had begun to mesh together.

Because Harry was growing up, and his need of her was relaxing.

How difficult it was to accept this reality. That her time with her son was coming to a close.

In a sense, she was beyond pleased. Because she'd done her job. She'd accomplished the task any mother would wish to accomplish. She'd raised a phenomenal man. Someone who could truly thrive in this world. She'd raised him to a point where no matter the guidance she could provide, he could still go higher.

He could always go higher.

Harry would continue to learn, for learning never ceased, but he wouldn't need Lily Potter to do it.

And so, on the 10th of August 1995, when she watched him avoid Ginny Weasley and the odd case of Regulus Black all day, when she watched the moon rise through his eyes, when she felt the transformation take place, she did something she hadn't done in a long time.

She brought him into her mindscape. Deep within their magical cores. She created the cliffs on which they'd last met here, way back in September.

She created a stone bench for the pair to sit on. It overlooked the sea. She noticed with a start that she'd aged in this world. In this complex metaphorical reality, she'd attained an age she'd never met when she'd been alive.

She was twenty-two. Nothing was different. Not really. But she knew she was older.

The dew that had collected on the grass twisted and turned, contorting into the image of Harry as he appeared in the mindscape.

It was strange seeing how Harry perceived himself mentally. He was in his late teens, judging by his appearance.

"Mum?" he breathed. He seemed so genuinely happy to see her, so pleased to know she was still there.

It tore at her heart. The way he looked at her in awe and relief. She had to take that away now. She'd been pulling away from him for weeks, fighting to make it to this full moon.

"Sit down, Harry," she whispered softly. Harry nodded and came towards her, wrapping his arms around her and squeezing. Holding on for dear life.

They stood there for a while, and tears began to accumulate in her eyes. Finally, one broke free of its surface tension, and dribbled onto Harry's shoulder.

He felt it, and his breath caught.

"You're leaving," he muttered, his voice growing hoarse. "Aren't you?"

Lily sighed shakily and nodded into his shoulder.

---

Harry let it all sink in. She was leaving. Gone forever. This was the last time he'd ever see his mother. The last time he could be held by her. The last time he'd ever receive advice from her.

This was it.

It was death, really. That was what this was. The second death of Lily Evans Potter. This form of her was dying. Gone and forever. There wouldn't be an afterlife for her. The real one was watching over, probably, far and away.

He watched his mother's face with glazed eyes. She was crying, now. Her face contorted in that way people do when they're trying not to cry. Trying not to show any emotion. Her emerald-green eyes, so familiar to him not only from his own reflection, but from being here with her in his mindscape for the last year.

"I…" Harry choked on the lump in his throat. Fidgeting with his hands and blinking back the tears that were welling up behind his eyes. "I don't want you to go,"

"You've been so brave, sweetheart,' she said. Her emotion leaking out into her voice. "I can't believe how much you've changed over the years…"

Harry couldn't stop his shoulders from shaking but he forced himself to look up at her. Taking in every detail.

Because this was the end.

"When I first got here you were so… broken… and now- now you're so strong and tall and funny and passionate… and you're so kind! You're so very kind…" her voice cracked, and she wiped her eyes, sighing. "And a part of me wishes that I'd get to be here for the rest of your life. See whatever crazy career you get involved with… see you get married through your eyes… but this isn't my life to live."

"But it can be!" cried Harry. It was such a childish outburst. He felt a warm hand rest on his forearm.

"But I don't want it to be," she smiled, and Harry had never truly appreciated how comforting that smile was. "I want you to grow. I want you to love. I want you to- to be free and happy and… You've found that. That freedom, that growth. You've found happiness and love. She'll always be there,"

Harry shook his head. "I don't think most fifteen-year-olds are rid of their parents… already off with some girl…"

Lily laughed quietly and Harry finally let himself cry. He let the heaving sobs wrack his body and felt his mother's arms wrap around him one last time. "I love you so much, Harry,"

He drew in a rattling breath. "I know… I know you do, now."

She nodded, smiling through her own tears. She let go of him, holding him by the shoulders and staring up at his considerable height.

Harry kept folding his hands together and breaking them apart to stall for time. "I'm nothing without you," he mumbled, staring off into the distance, unseeing.

Lily sighed. Her breath quivering with the emotion that wracked her body. "You're everything without me, Harry. More than you could possibly imagine,"

There was a long silence. Harry's vision was so obscured by the unshed tears that he could barely see.

"You'll… you'll stay with me?" he asked in a despaired whisper.

The cliffs and waves around them began collapsing like shattered glass. They were the center point. The event horizon. This was it. The voice was going to change, and Harry was going to be forced out of this mindscape. He wondered if he'd ever see these cliffs in the folds of his mind ever again. It was his mother's creation, after all.

"In here?" she pointed to his chest, right over his heart. She smiled gently. Her eyes sparkling with even more tears that cascaded over the lip of her eyelids and down her face.

"Always."

And then she was gone. Her body transfigured into thousands of white lilies. The wind picking them up and swirling them around the collapsing mindscape.

As the colour and light faded from the world, Harry was left with nothing.

For he was alone. Alone for the first time in so long.

It was cold, and he could do nothing but reach into the sky and call desperately for his mother.

But she was gone. Forever gone.

---

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