Chapter 6 - Some Thrills I Can't Define

A/N: I own nothing pertaining to and make no money from Murder She Wrote. Italicized portions of dialogue are taken from Benedict Arnold Slipped Here, Season 4, episode 18.

Two things became painfully clear: his brother had not issued the party invitation to Seth, and Jessica did not want their friendship to be misconstrued. At all. The former was unsurprising, but the latter stung. He played along, hoping only to save face in front of Richard, who could always tell when Seth was sweet on a woman. He didn't want to give Richard or that charmingly shrewd new wife of his, for that matter, any opportunity to meddle in his private affairs.

He grumbled inwardly. Meeting with his brother again was just stirring up the past in a way that was bound to be unhelpful, but he had been helpless against Jessica's argument. He would do anything in his power if she asked it of him. But he was more than pleasantly surprised that she would acquiesce to his demand that she attend this weekend with him, which made her awkward negation of their relationship status at the polo match even more painful.

Ah well, he sighed to himself. It was something to be Jessica Fletcher's escort, and he determined to squeeze what little pleasure he could from what was shaping up to be a potentially difficult few days.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

He'd taken Jess out for a spin on the dance floor a few times, then watched as she danced with a few other men at the party. More dashing, to be sure. And probably more interesting. He noticed his new sister-in-law, Alice, approaching him.

"Might I entice you into a dance, Seth?"

He observed the young woman carefully. She was sharp; a good match for Richard, in spite of the differences in their ages. In general he disapproved of May-December romances. The men looked foolish and the women looked calculating. What was wrong with getting older? There was much to be said for experience. And so often women grew lovelier as they aged. Take Jessica, for instance…

"Well?" She prompted.

Startled from his thoughts, Seth offered an ungallant grunt as assent and stood to escort his partner to the floor. They danced in silence for a few moments.

"I'm so very glad you came, Seth," Alice began.

"It was kind of you to extend the invitation," Seth replied carefully. He wasn't sure how much Alice knew about their youth and about Molly.

"I want Richard to be happy, and, in spite of his gruff demeanor, having his brother here does make him happy."

"Then I'm glad to be of service." He shifted his gaze as he caught sight of Jessica on the dance floor.

"Mrs. Fletcher is quite a unique person, isn't she?"

"What? Yes, I suppose. Wait. What do you mean, unique?"

"Well, not only is she a famous mystery author, but she is charming, elegant, exceedingly gracious." Alice paused. "Very attractive, too."

Seth was flummoxed. He'd begun to think he'd underestimated this young woman. "A-yuh," he muttered.

"She's a widow?"

Seth fixed her with a perceptive glare. "She is, which you know. You further know that I'm a widower. We're friends," he said, perhaps a bit more firmly than he intended.

"The pleasures of friendship are exquisite," Alice responded lightly, but Seth looked at her blankly. "It's from a poem by Stevie Smith."

"I see. Beautiful and well read. My brother is a lucky man indeed."

"No luckier than you, Dr. Hazlitt." She said no more as the song to which they were dancing wound down.

Seth escorted her off the dance floor, his mood pensive.

"I…I hope I've not upset you. My father often says I speak without thinking through the consequences."

"No, no, my dear," and Seth patted her hand affectionately. "Not at all."

"Something else my father says frequently: We must always travel in hope." She kissed him on the cheek and squeezed his hand. "Thank you for the dance, and thank you for being here." She drifted away into the crowd, but her words lingered in Seth's mind for many days to come.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"We'd just patched everything up, Jess. I finally got my brother back, after all these years." He scrubbed his face with his hand. "I'm a stubborn old fool, Jessica."

Jess held his hand as he talked, doing her best to hold back the tears that threatened. It was rare to see Seth show so much emotion, even in the most dire situation, but the murder of his brother, and for such a selfish, inhuman purpose, had understandably shaken him...shaken them both. There was no reason in this world, but justice, at least in this case, would be served.

"I don't suppose I've ever told you why we fell out for so long, but I'll bet you can guess."

"A woman," Jessica said softly.

Seth nodded. "Looking back, I realize now that Molly wasn't my first love." He paused, his face momentarily transformed by a pleasant memory. "That honor belongs to Ruthie." Jess smiled along with him. "But at the time, well. You know how it is, you're young, headstrong. You think you're in love and you've got the world by the tail." He laughed bitterly. "Jokes on you when you find out the situation is exactly the reverse." He sighed. "I never told Molly how I felt. I thought she knew! And Richard, being older, I just figured he thought we were both kids, Molly and me. Not worth bothering about."

"I take it he did bother about Molly?"

"A-yuh. When they ran off, I thought I'd never get over it. Went right down and enlisted. They were happy enough to have me. Course the war was almost over by then, though we didn't know it. I was glad enough to be away from Cabot Cove and all the gossip."

"Did you never speak to Richard again?"

"Nothing all that dramatic, but it was never the same. I always took care never to be in the Cove anytime I thought he might be. " He sighed. "We kept up with each other through the years, but…" He trailed off. "I've been a fool, woman." He turned to look at her. "I'm grateful to you, Jess. I wouldn't have had the chance to make it up with Richard if it weren't for you. I'll say it again, woman: I'm a stubborn old fool, Jessica, and I don't know why you put up with me."

She squeezed Seth's hand and smiled that brilliant, heart-rending smile. "Don't sell yourself short."

They sat in silence for a few moments, and once again Seth appreciated Jessica's ability to soothe and comfort him in conversation or in silence.

"Your friendship means a great deal to me, woman. I thank you."

Jessica nodded. She could hear the sorrow in his voice and so let the companionable silence settle back around them.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo.

Seth was subdued on their return to Cabot Cove. Jessica didn't make a pointed effort to draw him out; she knew he'd shut tighter than a clam's shell. But she was worried. It wasn't like him to brood. At least it was a side of him she'd never really seen before.

An unexpected turn of events gave her an opportunity to spend more time together without making it seem too obvious. Tillie Adams, Cabot Cove's resident shut-in, recently died and Jessica discovered to her dismay that Tillie named her the executrix of her estate.

"Going to be a difficult job, Jess. Have you gotten a look at the will yet?"

"Not yet. The attorney is supposed to send over a copy just as soon as he can. In the meantime, he's asked me to begin cataloging everything in the house." She covered her eyes and groaned; after a few moments, she spread her fingers to peek at Seth. "You wouldn't want to help me, would you?"

"Hmph. What's in it for me?"

"The knowledge that you're helping a very dear friend?"

"I am completely confident in that knowledge already, Jess. Many's the time I've helped Amos out of a jam."

She laughed. "Oh, Seth. Be a dear and help, won't you?"

She looked so pert and lively…how could he resist, even if he weren't terribly in love with her? "Alright," he said gruffly. "It pains me to see you beg, woman."

"Good. Care for another cup of coffee?" When Seth lifted his cup, she turned to the stove to retrieve the coffee pot. "When can you meet me over there?"

Seth gestured for her to stop pouring. "That's enough, woman! Are you trying to keep me up til the middle of next week? You'll see me when you see me," he finished gruffly.

"Why, I do declare, Seth Hazlitt, your gracious acceptance of my kind invitation puts everyone else's to shame!"

He rolled his eyes. "Alright, Miss Scarlett. It's time for me to go." He drained his coffee cup, then took it to the sink and rinsed it. "Call the office when you head over and Beverly'll let you know if I can get away."

She saluted smartly. "Aye-aye, Captain!"

"You certainly had your Wheaties this morning, Jess," he grumbled. "I'll see you later. Maybe."

She laughed, pleased at his acquiescence, no matter how reluctant. Sorting through Tillie's flotsam and jetsam would surely take his mind off Richard…and Molly, too.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Thanks again, Eve, for looking over the house for me." Jessica looked around, bemused. "It's going to take a lot of work."

"Jessica, it's going to take a wrecking ball!" The two women laughed companionably. Seth heard the women from the kitchen, and he was just about to join them when he heard Eve.

"It's good that you have Seth here to help you," Eve said lightly.

"Yes. I don't know what I'd do without him." Jessica smiled warmly, and Eve studied her carefully.

"He's certainly very…accommodating."

Jessica came over wary. "What are you trying to suggest, Eve?"

In the kitchen, Seth froze, gripping the papers he'd been planning to show Jess.

Eve laughed, a forced, harsh laugh. "Only that the good doctor is always ready, willing, and able to assist you in whatever manner you need." The unmistakable emphasis of bitterness on the word you wasn't lost on Jess.

"Seth is a very dear friend."

Seth's grip on the papers relaxed as his heart sank. He knew it. He had known it all along, but he'd never been able to convince his traitorous heart.

"Is he?" Eve replied. "I wonder."

A slight edge crept into Jessica's voice. "I am beginning to lose patience with this conversation, Eve."

So am I, thought Seth bitterly.

"You seem very certain of your friendship. I wonder if Seth feels the same?"

"Pardon?"

Eve sighed. "Don't be deliberately obtuse, Jessica. It doesn't suit you. I think you know how he feels." Jessica opened her mouth to respond, but Eve threw up a hand to stop her. "You're a great reader of people, Jessica. Perhaps not quite as good as I, but nevertheless. Your books and their success demonstrate that." She pointed a finger at Jess. "But you've never applied that skill to your friendship with Seth." She paused to give Jessica a chance to take it all in. "I'm only suggesting that you should. Not for your sake, but for his."

Jessica opened her mouth to respond, then closed it tightly. Eve smiled, settled her purse firmly on her shoulder and made her goodbyes.

Jessica was quiet for a few moments, and Seth was stricken with a kind of paralysis. He wasn't sure what to do next. He would never admit to eavesdropping, of course, but if he came out of the kitchen now, Jessica could hardly avoid jumping to that conclusion, and a frank discussion of her conversation with Eve would not help matters at all. It might ruin things forever. Making a split-second decision, he quietly opened the back door, then pushed it to harder than he might have done if he'd actually been coming in from the outside.

"Jessica?"

"In here, Seth," she called.

Seth squared his shoulders, determined to put on a brave face. A friend's face. Jessica would never know that he'd fallen in love with her. Not from him, at least.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Seth was warming his hands by the fire in Jessica's living room. He was pleased, but not surprised, that Jessica solved Benny Tibble's murder, and he was even more pleased that the house itself, as well as its contents, would be going up for auction soon. If he was lucky, maybe he could get his hands on that chess set.

"Jess! Jess, come over here and look at this! Have you ever seen such exquisite detail?"

"Oh, my. Isn't that lovely!"

"Eighteenth century British. I saw one like it in a museum once."

"Oh, it just breaks my heart to think that Tibbles will get his hands on this."

"Don't you suppose there's some way we could, you know, overlook it?"

"Seth."

"No, I guess not."

Seth chuckled ruefully at the memory and rubbed his hands together again for warmth. Jess was a stickler for doing everything by the book, one of the many things he loved about her.

"It's lovely to see you smiling again, Seth."

Seth startled. "Sneaking up on me, woman?"

"I should say not! You were just so deep in thought that you wouldn't have noticed a herd of elephants trampling through the living room. What's on your mind?"

He scrambled for a convenient answer. "I was just dreaming about that chess set and wishing I could've gotten my hands on it before Benny's brother absconds back to Boston with it." He glared at her. "You should've let me buy it from the estate, Jess." His scolding seemed to run right off her back. They usually did, but the expression on her face was particularly impish. She had something up her sleeve.

She crooked her little finger at him and sashayed (there was no other word for it) into the dining room. "Follow me," she tossed over her shoulder.

Woman, I'd follow you anywhere, Seth thought miserably as he struggled to keep his eyes focused on the back of her head for the few steps it took to reach the dining room. Jessica made something of a production of walking around the table, then faced him, a delighted grin on her face.

"It's an advance present on your next birthday."

Seth was struck almost dumb. There, on the table, sat that exquisite chess set that he'd admired at Tillie's. He couldn't imagine how she'd managed to acquire that for him. For him. For a moment, he felt so weak that he thought he might have to sit down. Bad enough the tears that had sprung unbidden to his eyes.

"Well, I wasn't plannin' on celebratin' any more birthdays, but, uh, I am touched." It took every ounce of self control he possessed not to kiss Jessica on the lips or the alluring curve of her neck. She was so warm, so alive, and she smelled so good… He bussed her on the cheek in what he hoped was a suitably careless manner.

"Now that we have the, uh, niceties out of the way, I'm gonna beat your socks off."

"Your move."

He was so flummoxed that he lost the match, but he didn't care. He kept stealing glances at Jessica. She had a habit of biting her lip when she was concentrating deeply, and he loved to see it. Tonight didn't disappoint. She looked so adorably serious, and he could actually hear Ruthie laughing at him when that thought crossed his mind. He had to get control of himself. He was worse than a lovesick teenager. He shuddered to think that Jessica might have seen that absurd look on his face.

"Well, Dr. Hazlitt, it appears I still have my socks!"

"Don't gloat, Jessica. It isn't becoming of a champion." He cleared his throat. "Jess, I can't thank you enough. I'm really very touched."

She reached across the table and grabbed his hand. "I was pleased to be able to get it for you." She held up her other hand in an imitation of the Boy Scouts salute. "And it was all above board." She chuckled. "At least I think it was. Anyway, I'm always glad when I can surprise you."

"You'll never stop doing that, Jess." He paused as he surveyed the board. "Well. I should be going. It's getting late."

"Let me get the box and we can clear up."

Jessica returned with the box, and the two made quick work of placing the pieces and the board safely inside. Jessica closed and latched the lid, then pushed it over to Seth. "Maybe you'll set this one up in your office."

"Too special for that," he said gruffly as he carefully lifted the box. "I'll keep it upstairs." He turned to go.

"See you tomorrow?"

"Of course you will! When have I ever let a day go by when you're home without seeing you?" He paused, hoping his voice wouldn't break. "You're my best friend."

Jessica looked at him closely. "I feel the same way, Seth," she said at last.

"Well. If I don't leave now, tomorrow might never get here. Good night."

"Good night, Seth."

He walked to his car, carrying his unbelievable, unexpected gift with a lump in his throat. He fussed with putting the chess set on the floorboard of the station wagon, then turned toward her and waved a smart good night. She closed the door, leaving him in darkness once again.

"I'm in love with you, Jess," he whispered. "And I'm darned if I know what to do about it."

A/N: You all know how I feel about that kiss in Benedict Arnold Slipped Here. I'm just going with the conventional view in this story. I'm beginning to think that the writers were setting up an eventual relationship with Jessica and Seth. I don't think that Jessica would have bought that chess set for him without some undertones of deeper feeling. Jessica is too perceptive not to have picked up on Seth's obvious affection for her. Anyway, I suppose that's why I'm writing fanfiction, right? Chapter 7 will post next Sunday!