Chapter 12
The time Haldir spent away from Hylin felt like agony. Hours crawled, and while each day followed the usual pattern of sunrise and set, Haldir experienced the moments as never-ending. Even on the eve of battle, time had never felt so frozen and unyielding. He knew in his heart the reason he wished to return to her side, his fragile love. The snow in the passes of the Misty Mountains was melting and the streams and water ways broke their banks with the icy waves. Every day the sun rose with greater heat and the wood was lush with new, green life. Soon news may come that her people wanted Hylin back. As it stood now, he held no greater claim on her than love.
She did love him, he had felt it for many months, in her words and actions toward him. At first Haldir categorized it with the curiosity all Edain had with the Fair Folk. But as days turned into weeks, Haldir had found himself returning the gentle touch, the lingering glance and finding himself longing to caress the soft curve of her body. This tender young woman, whos' life was so fleeting, the silver of age already streaking her hair, loved him. The memory of her clinging to him, her arms wrapped around him had nearly brought him to his knees.
Haldir knew that in all the long years of his life nothing would be as precious to him as the love Hylin and he shared. Perhaps it was made all the sweeter because it would be so brief.
"Brother?" Rumil interrupted his thoughts.
"Aye?" Haldir turned to his younger brother.
"Orophin sent me to tell you the eastern borders are secure. We have had no sight of increased activity."
"Good. Soon we will need every hand on deck. With the change in the seasons, there will be travelers and more attacks along the border."
Rumil nodded, "There always are."
"Tell me, have we seen any sign of the Edain moving toward the wood?"
"None thus far," Rumil said thoughtfully, "But I am sure we can count on the regular flow of would-be visitors."
"Agreed," Haldir surveyed the map of Lothlorien spread before him, "I spent a message to the Lord of Dúnedain before the winter and we may expect to receive a reply. Or even a visit."
Rumil raised an eyebrow, "To do with our young visitor?"
Haldir dropped his eyes away from his brother, "Aye."
Rumil leaned close to his brother, "If the Lady Galadriel granted it, you know she may stay among us. Have you requested it?"
"No," Haldir answered, "I have not spoken to the Lady of it."
"She will know," Rumil said in a confident tone, "She must know. This realm is unhidden to her in every way. And the signs of it are all over your face."
Haldir glanced up in surprise, "The signs?"
Rumil nodded, "As clear as a summer day. You left the watch yourself and returned to us, bound in heart, at least. The light in your eyes comes from within now."
Haldir bowed his head, "I did not intend for this to happen."
A grin broke across Rumil's face like a burst of sunlight as he clasped his brother by the shoulders, "All the better. Haldir, you have lived your life for others. It is timely for you to find a joy for yourself. Finding a wife to love and maybe even children? I can think of no other I would rather see happy. But promise me one thing?"
"Yes?" Haldir asked.
"Waste no time. Secure the Lady's blessing and wed that girl."
Haldir stiffened a little, "You urge haste because she is Edain."
Rumil dismissed this statement with a shake of his head, "I care not if she is Edain. I do care that you do not put off your own happiness."
"I must go to Lady Galadriel then," Haldir said firmly, "We do need her permission."
"Go then. As soon as you can free yourself of any duties here. And Manwe speed you on the way," Rumil encouraged.
With his usual efficient manner, Haldir over saw the changing of guards, the examination of any stronghold that needed repair and heard all the news there was to be had about the movement on the borders of Lothlorien. He had spent his long years learning exactly what was needed and where within the bounds of the Golden Wood, and his sense of pride in it awoke once more as he directed his wardens about the care of the realm. To any of his wardens, Haldir seemed much the same as before, but Rumil had spoken the truth. A new light was shining from the blue depths of his eyes. The light that springs into the heart when love is there.
A few days passed before he was truly free to return to Caras Galadhon to seek the Lady Galadriel's council and though it pained him, Haldir took a path that veered away from Hylin's snug abode. Duty must come first. In the first yawn of evening, Haldir found his way into his Lady's presence.
Galadriel was waiting for him. Of course, she was waiting. He knelt in reverence before his queen and she laid a warm hand on his head.
"Rise Haldir of Lorien, let me look at you."
He stood, meeting her eye to eye. She placed her hands on his shoulders and gently turned him to the left and right as if to take in every aspect of his countenance.
"Ah," she breathed, "I see that our guest has left her mark on you, my Marchwarden."
"My Lady knows all," Haldir answered inclining his head.
"I know much, but I do not know all," she said humbly releasing him and beckoning him to follow her to a seating area, "You come to me with questions in your mind, and I may have guidance for you. Sit, and ask me what you will."
"I request permission to stand, my Lady," Haldir said formally.
An amused smile played across Galadriel's lips at his request, but she granted it silently, "Tell me, what would you have of me?"
"I come seeking your consent to my marriage to Hylin," Haldir said directly, "We have found love in each other and wish to wed."
Galadriel nodded, "Quite straightforward, Marchwarden."
Haldir met her eyes, "As my Lady knows all my affairs, I did not see a reason to dissemble."
The smile traced across the Lady's lips for a moment and she was solemn again, "Have you considered the weight of your request? No doubt many things have come to mind about such an unusual union in these late days."
"Our time would be –very short." He nodded in understanding.
"Indeed, it would," she answered, "You would barely begin to know one another before her mortality would begin to wear on her. If illness or injury does not end her life prematurely, childbirth certainly could. There would be no choice in it. The Edain do not do not have the mastery over their bodies as we do." Galadriel folded her hands in her lap and considered the young elf before her, "But there are other burdens you would both face beyond a short life and an eternity of grief."
Haldir raised an eyebrow at this, "Lady?"
Galadriel looked him in the face and said flatly, "You might decide to live a short span with her and feel the grief of her death through the entirety of your life—or you may forfeit your elven grace and live as a mortal with her."
The words hung heavy in the air between them.
"I may be mortal." Haldir said. It was not a question. It was a statement of fact, cold, crisp shocking fact.
"It is not spoken of in our records of such unions because the grief our people experience at the death of our kin is too deep to suggest such a path, but it was so in the days of old. It was true of Beren and Luthien, Tuor and Idril and would be the same for you and Hylin. Luthien chose Beren and death claimed her. Idril sailed to the West with her love to seek immortality for him."
"Did she achieve this gift?"
"None know for certain save those who have departed these shores as well," Galadriel sighed, "It may be that she gained this gift of the Vala. Yet there are no assurances. The only certainty is that your union will be fraught with difficulty."
"But much joy," Haldir said.
Tears sprang into her eyes as she looked at the confident expression on Haldir's face.
"Very much," she agreed, standing to her full height, "Before I give my blessing to you both, carry this information to your love. Talk of your choices. Talk of what dreams you hold for the future. Leave no word unspoken until you feel certain of your decision. Then come to me again."
"Thank you, my Lady," Haldir bowed his head and she touched his head once more. The action was motherly, tender.
"I wish you all the joy of this world, Haldir," she said softly.
He left her. As he descended the long staircase to the forest floor, Haldir mulled over her words. He could be mortal. He could live out his days with a woman he loved, grow old with her and be buried beside her. Or he could love Hylin for as long as she lived and be alone ever after.
Alone, the word had never felt so cold.