Emma poured sangria into a wine glass, cracked her knuckles, and then logged on to FindLove. It was one minute to seven. She spent the last hour nervously getting ready. Her styled blonde hair looked perfect. It wasn't curly, and it wasn't straight. It was perfectly wavy. Her make-up was subtle enough but noticeable. She felt confident and beautiful, and that's the message she wanted to send.
When the clocked ticked seven, it was like clockwork, an incoming call came through from RegalRegina80.
Emma nervously wiped the sweat from her palms onto her pants and clicked answer.
The screen enlarged and went black.
"Hello?" Emma said, awkwardly. She knew first impressions meant everything, so she mustered up her confident, Emma Swan, a total badass, face and then she heard Regina's sexy as hell voice.
"I don't think your video is working," Regina responded, her tone firm, but caring.
"Oh!" Emma said, "That's incredibly awkward." She said trying to make light of the conversation.
"Can you see me now?" She asked after clicking on a the video button again.
"No, you need to go into the settings and activate the video." Regina guided her.
Emma minimized the window and opened the settings. She saw that everything was activated.
"Uhm, did you mean FindLove or the laptop settings?"
"Laptop settings most likely."
Emma clicked on her system preferences and found that her webcam was in fact not on. Fixing that quickly caused the light on her MacBook to turn on and Regina's face to appear.
The first thing Emma noticed was the beautiful crescent shaped smile that spread across her face the moment Regina realized she could see Emma. They stared at one another or the first few seconds taking in one another.
"Hey." She barely squeaked out. She inevitable smile matched Regina's.
"Hello," Regina cooed.
Emma felt her face flush. She looked down at her hands. She smiled to herself, "You okay? You seem like you'll pass out there." A soothing, sultry sweet voice captured her attention.
Emma looked back up and answered, "Yeah, It's just… You're just so much more beautiful in person."
She smiled again as she looked into dark brown eyes. The woman on her screen was stunning. That was undeniable. Her mahogany-red painted lips were smiling because of her, well that was just thought scrambling.
"Thanks."
Emma noticed the faint tinge of pink that colored Regina's cheeks. It was hard to fathom that Emma was actually chatting with the woman she'd recently met and liked. This whole trying to be relaxed thing was hard, but something about how adorable the other woman was touched, Emma.
She cleared her throat, "So, uh, how was your day?" She was trying to start up a conversation to move them past the awkward beginning of the call where they smiled like lovesick teenage fools.
Regina took a sip of wine and then sat the glass back down. "It was jam-packed. I had business meetings with some developers about a new project in town for our winter festival. Then I had to meet with some town officials. It was a dull day, and it dragged by. All I wanted to do was come home so I could spend some time with you. I felt terrible not being able to video with you last night. It was just so late, I looked tired, and I didn't want that to be your first impression of me."
Emma felt her heart sink at the other woman's confession. She watched the woman talk some more, and her mind couldn't stop, though. She was blown away by how beautiful the other woman was and how put together Regina seemed. She was poised as talked animatedly about her ongoing projects. Emma was completely mesmerized and a little turned on.
She tuned back in, "Tomorrow will actually be a really easy day for me. I have only two meetings, so I have more time to work on the mound of paperwork that has collected over the last two days."
Emma laughed, "You should see the mound of paperwork I have. It's, well, about a month's full of reports that I need to make closing remarks on. Paperwork is a reminder that I'm actually an adult with a real job."
Regina sipped her wine, "So how was your day? New information on your case?"
Emma sighed as she rolled her eyes, "Actually it's been a boring case because I haven't come across any incriminating evidence yet. I've followed the guy twice now. When I dig up more, I'll share it. I have a feeling this is going to be one of those boring cases, where it's as simple as me finding evidence that he's cheating." Emma sipped her from her glass. "Let's talk about something that's not work-related."
"Like what?" Regina asked.
"I don't know, just not work," Emma said as she felt flush. What she wanted was to spice things up a bit, but she wasn't sure Regina was on the same page.
"Well…" Regina said as she drank another sip of her drink. "Let's just take turns asking questions. This way we can learn more things about one another. There are no boundaries and whatever is asked, both must answer."
"Simple enough." Emma shrugged. "You go first."
"What's your favorite color?"
"Red. What's yours?"
"Purple."
Emma nodded, good to know. "What is your favorite animal?"
"Panda Bears. Yours?'
"Cats."
Emma watched as Regina shifted her weight in her seat. "You look uncomfortable."
Regina smiled, "Yeah, I'm sitting in my kitchen for better lighting, but the chair is not cushioned."
"Any other rooms you could sit in?"
Regina nodded, "Yes, but I didn't want to be inappropriate by videoing you from my room."
Emma laughed, "It's honestly not that big of a deal. I would rather you be comfortable."
She watched as Regina nodded and sipped what was left in her glass. "I'm just going to grab the bottle and then go upstairs then. Give me a few minutes to get settled again."
"Okay, sounds good." The call ended, and Emma opened a tab to search questions to ask. She felt like asking her favorite color and animal were lame questions. She honestly did want to get to know Regina more but wanted to ask more interesting topics that helped steer the conversation better.
She typed into Google, Questions for couples. The first link was from Everyday Better Living. It appeared to be a decent list of questions. She skimmed the first three and sent the same link to Regina. Perhaps they could pick their questions from the same list, or it, at least, could help them ask questions they may already have.
An incoming call came seconds later. Emma answered it, this time, it worked and she smiled at the person on the other side who looked more relaxed than before.
"Feel more comfortable?"
"Yes, my bed feels amazing. I just opened the link. I take it you want to ask questions from this list?"
"That's the idea. I know some of them won't really be applicable, but maybe it will help lead us to ask better questions than what's your favorite color and animal." Emma laughed trying to make light of the situation.
"Okay, so let's see." Emma watched as Regina browsed through the questions. "If you had one day to live, what would you do?"
Emma didn't take much time to think of an answer, "I would probably spend it with the person I love most, whether that's someone I'm intimate with or a close friend or family member. I'm sure most people would want that? Ya know? I think there's something special about getting to share those final moments with the people you love, whether it's intimate or not. I realize how stupid and cliche that is." Emma poked fun at herself as she rolled her eyes.
Regina laughed and appreciated that response. "It's not stupid, but I'm glad you didn't say something like go skydiving." They laughed together. Regina cleared her throat and said, "I'd agree with you, though. I'd want to be with my person too."
Emma picked out her next question and asked, "How old were you when you had your first kiss?"
Regina instantly started laughing. "Honestly, I feel so embarrassed, I kind of always knew what I wanted at an early age. So in kindergarten, I was kissing girls on the playground. I had a boyfriend as well in first grade. I was always in trouble. My mother makes fun of me still to this day. My kindergarten boyfriend wanted to be a firefighter on career day, and I wanted to be just like him, but not a firefighter. So I convinced him that being a doctor was cool. When we got to the front of the room, our teacher asked what he wanted to be, and he said, policeman. I freaked out because that wasn't the plan, but I caved and said, a policewoman. We broke up a day later." Regina laughed with Emma. "Men, they never listen, even at age six."
"You sound like you were trouble." Emma thought to herself, when was her first kiss? She blanched. Internally she groaned, because unlike Regina she wasn't as experienced, or so she was starting to figure out. "I was in college when I got my first kiss. Kind of a late bloomer." Emma said, shyly.
Regina picked up on her embarrassment and comforted her. "If it makes you feel better, I didn't date much until I got older. My school work was my focus, and I didn't go on a real first date until I was in college."
That did make Emma feel better, but now she wondered if Regina was also into men, Lily was. It didn't worry Emma if she was, but she still wanted to know. "Are you bisexual?" Emma asked before she could stop the question from coming from her mouth too bluntly. She quickly tried to follow her question up with an explanation. "It's just you mentioned boyfriends. I was just curious." Emma was a nervous wreck, she picked up her wineglass and took not one, but two large gulps to shut herself up.
"I'm a lesbian. I only had boyfriends when I was too young to know what that meant. I was pretty sure I liked girls at a younger age, which is why I didn't date till college. I didn't find my type until then. What about you? Are you bisexual?"
Emma shook her head, "No I'm only into women."
Regina nodded and then said, "Let me look for another question." She moved around and put on some black framed glasses. After a few seconds had passed, she said, "Okay, this goes to your question, but how old were you when you first had sex?"
Emma gulped. She didn't read past questions one, two, or three of the one hundred listed. She had no idea that was on the list or what to expect now. Emma internally groaned because there was no backing out now. "Well, since I was in college when I got my first kiss, you know I was older. I met my first girlfriend, Lily, and we were together for some time. I was twenty when we first met, and we dated, but we didn't have sex till I was twenty-one."
"Oh," Regina said. "Why the long wait?"
"It was me mostly, but she also wasn't ready. I wanted to take things slow." Emma answered honestly and skirted around why she wanted to take things slow and why Lily also wasn't ready.
Emma, while she's much more confident now, wasn't then. She was suffering, like so many other transgender people do, from feeling disgusted with her body. While Emma still wasn't one hundred percent happy now, she'd come to be able to accept who she is. Now she was also much closer to having enough savings to pay for her surgery.
Emma never talked about her circumstances. To others, it was a 'situation', but to her - she was just who she was, Emma. She wasn't ready to share all of those details with Regina yet, and it was still too personal. She felt too vulnerable and wanted to get truly to know the other woman and vice versa. She wanted a real shot at actually having someone fall in love with her, the way she was. Lily had, so she knew it wasn't impossible.
Emma could tell Regina knew there was another layer to what she said, but she didn't ask. She respected her answer and left it be.
"I was in high school. I met someone who was bisexual, and we just had sex to have sex. I didn't want to go to college as a virgin. It was one hell of an experience, one that not enough alcohol could help me forget. Going back to you mentioning how you waited, do you feel like that's something you'd want between us? Assuming we hit it off when I'm down for work."
Emma's heart raced. She didn't have an answer. It all boiled down to if Regina was accepting of her being transgender. That word scared so many people, and quite honestly, it bothered her too. She hated having that as a label. She just was Emma. She was special and unique. She wasn't like most trans people either, which made her feel even more secluded. Emma started hormones at age ten, so she developed as if she was born the way she felt, female. All of her records indicated she was female. The only thing that separated her from that was Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS).
Her parents did so much for her, and now she had to do the rest. Paired with her college debt and a low-income job, the money, was an issue. She couldn't get over the costs of the surgery. Many nights in college Lily had talked her off the ledge of wanting to book tickets to Bangkok where the surgery was far less, but not always reliable.
She was trying to maintain composure as she formulated a response. The fact of the matter was that it was dependent on how comfortable she felt and how Regina responded. This wasn't the time though to bring up that she was a transwoman. She had time, since they were long distance, to figure it all out.
"Honestly, I would want to be with you right now. I just feel like it's dependent on how things go between us."
"Fair enough." Regina shrugged. Her black framed glasses slid down her nose. Her index finger pushed them back up before adding, "Now it's your turn."
Emma visibly relaxed at how easily Regina accepted her response.
"Describe your perfect dream date," Emma asked next.
"Uhm. That's a good question, but since our first date is going to be unique, how about I tell you about my perfect dream date with you?"
Emma felt flush. She had no control over her emotions. Regina was bringing the heat hardcore and her fingers itched to end the call so she could call August, but Emma restrained herself from doing that. Instead, she took a big gulp of her sangria and sat on her fidgety hands that were, basically, Judas.
"Alright, tell me about the perfect dream date with me then," Emma said, excitedly.
She watched Regina pull off her glasses and set them aside and sip from her wine glass. "Well, I know you said I could meet you at your favorite restaurant, but I would like to meet you at your home. I envision you opening the door and both of us slowly taking in one another for the first time. Getting to know someone and not being able to touch them is torture. So the first thing I would want to do would be to hug you. After we would go to dinner and we would talk about our day and laugh together on our first real date. Later that night, I envision us sitting on your couch, cuddled up, watching a movie while we enjoy some wine together. I think that sounds romantic. I know it's juvenile, cliche mostly, but things are cliche for a reason. I know we agreed on no sex on the first date, but I would hope that we could kiss and enjoy the closeness of one another since it will be something very limited to us."
She tried hard to fight the smile that was threatening to burst across her face, but it won, and there Emma sat with a dorky grin. "That sounds.. um..." She cleared the lump from her throat. "Perfect. I just wish I could have you here now so that we could be doing just that."
"It's okay, just a few short weeks left. If you like, we could make this a regular thing every day?"
"Videoing?"
"Yes," Regina said.
"I would love that. I know you're busy a lot, so if it doesn't work out, that's okay too." Emma pretended it to be not that big of a deal. "So I guess it's my turn to answer the same question," She said thinking of what to say. "Uh...I think you nailed my dream date with you too. I just want to add that I would hope that I could make you feel special and cared for. First dates are memorable events, and I just want for you to feel treated the way you deserve." Emma said, chivalrously. All she wanted was to give someone love and have that in return, but she also didn't want to come off creepy and too strong. She felt like she could give Regina all of that, but Emma's fear was that Regina may not feel the same, and if Emma were honest with herself, she might always suffer from that terrible feeling.
"I think you already make me feel pretty special, so I know you'll make me feel even better in person. As for my next question, what is something about your sexuality that you're willing to admit?"
Emma's eyes nearly bugged out of her head. This woman was going to be the death of her. Clearly her mind was honed in on sex anything. Emma, well, she wasn't that sexual, which was a huge problem. She didn't feel comfortable enough really to sleep with anyone outside of Lily, well there was that one girl, Ashely, but they didn't get that far.
"Uh..Trying to think of an answer." Emma blankly stared at the screen at the other woman who patiently waited for a response.
"Don't judge me." Emma began. "But-"
"I would never judge you. I'm very open, and you can trust me." Regina encouraged her.
Emma continued, "I've never masturbated." She threw her hands up to cover her face. "It freaks me out." She still sat with her face covered. Regina, who promised she wouldn't judge her sat frozen on the screen, her jaw nearly touching the floor.
"Why? Do you feel like you can't?" She calmly asked as if Emma confessed something much more serious.
"I just don't want to. It freaks me out." Emma removed her hands, "It's weird to me."
"Did someone make you feel weird about it because it's perfectly natural?" Regina asked.
"No. It's just me that makes me feel weird."
"Interesting. That may have to change over time if we get serious." Regina winked. "I can't say I have never done it. It's hard not being with someone. My body craves the release."
"Totally natural," Emma said as she gulped, "When was the last time you did … it?"
Now the tables were turned, and Regina was the one which was red in the face. Despite that, however, she confidently said, "Last night."
"Oh?" Emma said. She was shocked because honestly who wouldn't be when the person you're kind of seeing confesses something like that. This, however, gave Emma the upper hand to spice some things up a little and see the other woman squirm. Curiously she asked, "What did you think about when you were doing it?"
"Emma!" She said surprised at the blondes boldness.
"Oh come on, do you know how hard it was for me to answer your question? It was hella awkward."
"Don't say hella, it's not a word?"
"Fine then I won't say hella, so long as you compromise and tell me what you thought about?"
Emma could see that Regina didn't want to admit what she was thinking about, so she pushed her, "Who was it? Let's see, you've admitted to liking blondes. So was it Blake Lively?"
"No, stop guessing."
Emma couldn't stop herself, "That's a shame, she's gorgeous. How about, um, Scarlett Johansson? She's naturally a blonde, right?"
"Scarlett who?" Regina said, a little frustrated.
"Stop, you don't know who Scarlett Johansson is from The Avengers?" Emma couldn't believe it. She loved that movie.
"I don't watch many movies," Regina admitted.
Emma froze, and began to wonder who would Regina envision if it wasn't either of the options she mentioned? Surely, it couldn't be her. There was no way. They had just started talking. "I'm at a loss then if you don't think about celebrities. Is it an ex or something, because I get-" She was cut off.
"Emma, stop. No, it's not an actress and nor was it an ex."
"Okay." Emma could sense she pushed too far. It was to the point where there was an awkward silence, which made her feel shitty. "I'm sorry." She gulped back the tension in the air, even though the other woman was nearly a thousand miles away.
Regina licked her lips, and her jaw clenched. Emma knew from the looks of it that she was debating something in the back of her mind.
"Um...so, anyways, it's getting late." The clock showed that it was close to eleven. "I should probably let you go." Emma watched the woman on the screen deflate.
"Emma, it was you." She heard Regina say softly under her breath.
"I'm sorry? What was that?" Emma, who was beyond shocked, asked. She needed clarification to make sure her ears were working properly because let's be honest, she listened to her music too loudly, and probably lost half of her hearing unknowingly already.
"You heard me. Don't make me say it again." Regina said, avoiding eye contact.
"Whoa, hey, it's okay. I'm really flattered. I mean, I just didn't think anyone would ever think of me while they are doing… that." Emma admitted.
"Why would you think that I think you're stunning." Regina no longer felt shy.
"I don't know I just do." Emma blushed at being called stunning. "But, I think it's very sweet that you thought of me that way and a huge turn on."
"Are you turned on right now?" Regina asked, one eyebrow raised.
"Yeah, I don't know how I couldn't be with someone as beautiful as you telling me that you got off thinking about me."
"Then maybe we should get off so you can deal with that?" Regina smirked.
"I don't think so." Emma looked down. "Like I said, I don't feel comfortable doing that."
"Maybe you'll change your mind soon. Trust me it's not a bad thing. It's perfectly natural." Regina basically coached to Emma.
She knew it was natural, but she had no desire to touch the one part of herself that she hated most.
"We'll see about that." Emma played along.
"It's pretty late, I should go, but I'd really rather stay up all night talking to you," Regina told Emma.
"I know. I have to get up early tomorrow too. I wish I could stay up talking all night."
"At least, we have something to look forward to tomorrow, to help get us through the day."
"I had a lot of fun talking to you. I feel really embarrassed saying this, but I really, really like you…" Emma paused. "... I just inadvertently quoted Carly Rae Jepsen and felt the need to sing that while I take my cold shower."
Regina laughed, "Now I have something to think about as I go to sleep. Thanks for that."
Emma paused, "So we can agree, subtlety is not your strong suite."
"Never has been. I know what I want."
Heat flushed through Emma's body as she pulsed with desire. She started to feel completely unsettled and aroused for the first time in, basically, eons.
"You okay?" The brunette woman asked shrewdly because she knew exactly what was going on.
"Yup. I'm all right." Came a clipped response from Emma, who was desperately trying to play it cool, while holding her breath. "Have a good night's rest. I'll talk to you tomorrow!"
"Thanks, Emma. You too!" Regina smiled. A second later, her image was gone.
She breathed out the air she was holding back in her lungs. She reached for her phone and, naturally, called August, her hotline.
When he picked up, August said, "I take it the call ended. How did it go? Is she as hot in person?"
"Yes, but… I think… August. I have a real problem, don't laugh."
Her friend laughed, "What is it, Swan?"
"She was sexy as fuck and brought some major heat to the table, and now I'm especially uncomfortable because I'm … turned on because she admitted to getting off thinking about me and now I don't know what to do. I'm freaking out."
"Emma," He said very seriously, "Do you have a boner?"
"Jesus fucking Christ, can we just not talk about it. I just don't know what to do, and I have no idea why I called you. I knew you'd say something stupid like that. You have no effing filter."
"Take a cold shower. That helps." She could hear him trying not to laugh, "So I take it that call went well. Just think Emma, if you feel this way, she probably feels the same and is probably getting herself off thinking about you, again. This is a good sign, and you should try to become more comfortable and do the same."
He was right, she really should try, but she won't. She hates this part of her, loves everything else, except this.
"Let's pretend this conversation never happened. So help me God if you ever bring it up, I'll-"
"You'll what?" He challenged her.
"I'll …" She said as she tried to will up some witty comeback, which never came.
"Exactly, you've got nothin' on me, Swan. But for the sake of our friendship, I'll keep it to myself."
"I feel so awkward," Emma admitted. "Like, I need to go." Emma said, but before she could hang up her friend yelled into the phone, "Wait!"
"What?"
"I have an idea."
"Which is?"
"You should text Regina, not right this moment, but in a few after you've cooled down, and say something along the lines of, hope you know while your fingers do a good job, mine could do better."
"Stop. That's awful. I can't say that."
"Okay, don't, but say something. It will keep this sexual tension going, and it's good to have that at that start of something. It will help with showing if the two of you are compatible."
"I'll text her, but not that. I'm going to go. I'll see you tomorrow." Emma hung up the phone and ran to the shower and took one very fucking cold shower. It didn't take long for her to cool down, and the icy water pretty much killed the buzz she felt, which was what she needed.
She just turned off the lights in her room and settled into the sheets before she decided on what she wanted to text Regina.
Want to tell me what you're doing?
She turned onto her side and waited and a second later there was a response.
I think you know what I did. Now I'm trying to fall asleep, thinking about you. I had a fun time talking to you.
Emma smirked. She knew it. She quickly texted back a response.
I knew it! I just finished my freezing, shower. I had a fun time talking to you too. I can't wait to see you tomorrow.
Emma started to see why August was such a ladies man. Flirting was addictive.
It's going to take everything in me to keep my hands to myself when I see you in a few weeks. Text me tomorrow. It's a slow day and hearing from you would make it a lot better and help it fly by faster.
Emma caught off guard by Regina's admission, and she just hoped that if things did get out of hand, that Regina would be understanding. Right now the distance was a good thing, so they had enough time to get to know one another. She sincerely wanted Regina to fall for her personality and not see her being transgender as a deal breaker. She was a female. She developed like other girls too when she was a pre-teen. Emma just needed the one surgery to make it all come full circle. The problem was, so many people who are like her find not so many people who are accepting. Hell, once she had the surgery, no one would ever be able to even know. Part of her felt like she should just wait till after the surgery to find love, but she had hope that someone could see her for who she was.
We'll see about that. Have sweet dreams beautiful. I'll text you tomorrow.
Emma slid her phone under her pillow and closed her eyes. That night, all she could dream about was the incredible woman she knew she was already falling for.