Signal to Noise

15

"So."

Colin sighed, looking over the three fallen forms of the Dragonslayers. "So."

Dragon stood nearby, looking nervous and a bit bashful. "So…?"

Colin sent a smile her way, before turning his attention back to the Dragonslayers. "If they're allowed a trial, they will certainly disclose the fact that Dragon is an AI to the world."

"Just, just Tess, Colin," Tess murmured, and the man nodded.

"Don't like it," I shook my head. "After everything I went through with the legal system, I'm not too keen on throwing them under the jail just because not doing so would be extremely inconvenient." Sighing, I cast a glance at Tess. "On the other hand, peaceful benevolent AI who's proven her bona fides time and time again… who the system would attempt to crush. Even if she isn't forced to obey lawful orders from authorities now, you know how her little digital Canadian heart is. She'll just roll over if they send her a sternly worded letter."

Tess frowned, crossing her arms under her breasts. "I'm not that much of a pushover."

"You totally are," I countered with a grin.

"Unfortunately, there are no good options here," Colin murmured. "Only less catastrophic."

"Alright. Best of the bad options, then. Go."

Looking up, Colin thought for a moment before supplying his answer. "Keep the Dragonslayers in custody for a few days. Go public. Declare yourself as an artificial intelligence. Submit the Dragonslayers to lawful authorities. Allow the legal system to take care of them. Between the two of us, we can verify that you were under threat from Saint and his accomplices and that you pose no danger."

"Maybe," Tess murmured. "The only other AI people know of, however, is the Machine Army. Are you sure people won't start screaming 'Skynet' from the rooftops?"

"Oh, they definitely will," I nodded. "And then there'll be the other crazies, welcoming their benevolent AI overlady and best internet waifu Dragon. Then there's the toasterfuckers and other degens, who are going to have r34 Dragon x [insert cape of choice] within the first twenty-four hours."

Colin winced, but nodded. "Yes, I am unfortunately well aware of that community," he admitted. Turning an amused look on Tess, he added, "I believe what Claire is trying to say is that the fearmongers may just be drowned out by the typical netizens and their usual shenanigans."

"Shitposting. The word you're looking for is shitposting."

"But what about the government?" Tess asked. "The Canadian and United States governments aren't going to like finding out that the person supplying the Protectorate with most of their tech and equipment, not to mention the one watching over the Birdcage, is an AI."

"Counter point," I held up a hand. "A tireless Tinker capable of working 24/7/365 has been graciously supplying them with equipment and labor nearly at cost for years now, and if they want to keep that arrangement, they're going to have to suck it up and deal. Not to mention, again, your record is spotless. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Kill order," Tess answered immediately, echoed by Colin.

"Alright. So, let's explore other options. Option 1: kill the Dragonslayers."

Tess shook her head immediately. "No."

Once more, this proved the AI was a better person than me—and likely most of humanity. If I had been hounded by these clowns day in and day out, I'd probably just kill them now that I had them in custody. Then again, maybe not. There was a difference between killing in self-defense in the heat of the moment, which I had done twice now, and cold-blooded execution. One of those I could stomach, the other… maybe. Maybe not.

Okay, yeah, I occasionally saw that little Chinese shit's face and smelled his stinking breath, or woke up with the stink of gasoline in my nose and Sophia Hess's bottom half cauterized and flopping all over the sidewalk running through my head, but I didn't actually regret doing it. I regretted that it had been necessary and that they forced my hand. Big difference. Here and now, if we killed Saint and his friends, it'd just be murder. I wasn't sure I could actually pull the trigger on that one.

"Now, hear me out. Only we know you're an AI—"

"That's… not entirely accurate," Tess winced.

Colin raised an eyebrow. "Who else knows?"

"Chief-director Costa-Brown."

When Colin frowned, I shook my head. "Of course Alexandria knows." Colin turned a look on me. "What? I can't be the only one using voice and facial pattern matching here! Hell, you don't even need it when you can hear it yourself."

The man sighed. "It's generally considered impolite—"

Snorting, I rolled my eyes. "Fuck polite. I was never given the benefit of the so-called 'unwritten rules,' so you know what? They are worth the paper they're printed on as far as I'm concerned. I don't go blabbing what I know because it's a dick move and could get someone killed, but I'm not going to pretend that it's not a huge violation of trust and a conflict of interests to have one of the Triumvirate, one of the bigshots in the Protectorate, calling the shots for the PRT and Protectorate in her civilian life. The fact that you aren't surprised speaks volumes."

Sighing, Colin nodded. "I suspected," he admitted. "And yes, I do have pattern matching software." His gaze shifted back to Tess. "You've been receiving orders from the chief-director?"

"Yes," Tess admitted. "I had to obey all lawful orders, and as she is a legal authority… There is so much going on that you aren't privy to. A secret organization pulling the strings behind the curtains—"

"Cauldron," I nodded, and Tess's jaw dropped. "What?"

The AI sighed, smiling and shaking her head. "I'm going to stop being surprised at some point. But yes, Cauldron. Which I'm almost certain Alexandria, Eidolon, and Legend are members of, given their movements and some of the orders I've received in the past."

"What is Cauldron?"

I shared a look with Tess, who gestured for me to explain. "Short version? A group of people who are handing out canned powers and pulling the strings to arrange things so that we can win a war we aren't prepared to fight, against a foe who I'm not even sure we can beat. Alexandria, Eidolon, Legend, a woman named Dr. Mother, the Number Man, and nowhere near last and certainly not least, Contessa. Aka the goddamn Bogeyman herself. Basically, they've infiltrated every level of government, every branch of the Protectorate and PRT. I can name not less than three capes in Brockton Bay who are either directly on their payroll or owe them favors—Coil, Triumph, and Battery. Sure, Coil's dead, but he was the one put here by them to try out the 'cape rule' thing and was supposed to have come out on top against all the other gangs. That is, until he died."

"Another of yours," Colin sent me a look and I winced. "After you blasted the top off an Endbringer shelter, the same way you did going in hot to rescue Gearbox."

"Okay, look. Yes, I was there. Yes, I chased him a bit. But I was throwing out blue lasers because I wanted him alive! He killed himself overusing his powers. I had no less than three witnesses to confirm that, along with having Panacea verify cause of death. And yes, because of the bullshit with the PRT, I had Tattletale handle getting rid of the body."

"Claire," Tess sighed, palming her face. "You should have said something!"

"What was I supposed to say?! 'Oh hey guys, I was chasing down Coil and he kinda popped a clog! Wasn't me though, honest!' It would have been right back to the same bullshit. But we're getting way off course here. Back to these chucklefucks," I nodded towards Saint and his friends. "Option 2: send them directly to the 'cage and pretend they don't exist. It rubs me entirely the wrong way, but… if it were to protect Tess, yeah, I'd say go for it."

"Feasible," Colin nodded.

Tess again shook her head. "I won't put anyone in the Birdcage who doesn't deserve to be there." She visibly paused, before a small smile pulled at her lips. "In fact, it's one of the things I'm going to be correcting soon. There are children that were born there that need to be removed, and people wrongfully put there in violation of their civil rights… So many things I can actually do something about now that I couldn't before. So many wrongs I can right…"

"Don't get ahead of yourself," I warned her. "If you're going to do that, you'll want to time it with whatever we decide on. Ultimately, the choice is up to you, Tess. What do you want to do?"

Tess hummed quietly, and I felt her briefly dip into the higher ranges of quantum CPU usage, before she nodded. "I think just coming out and admitting what I am is probably the best bet. I'll submit myself to Protectorate authority and—"

"No you won't."

Tess blinked, looking at me in confusion. I sighed, before turning to Colin. "Come on, help me out here. The Protectorate isn't going to see her as anything but a rogue program for them to shut down—not a living being they'll be killing when they demand access to her switch to shut her down, which is the first thing they're going to do."

Tess looked to Colin, who nodded. "It's the most likely reaction, yes."

"Drat."

"Well, it's not like we have to figure it out right this second. I'll have Enola move these clowns somewhere to keep them on lock for a while. Until then, we'll continue on as if nothing has changed. Head back in, do some sightseeing, regroup, then head home. Sound good?"

"Yes," Colin agreed, while Tess nodded.

With that, we parted ways for the moment.

"This is nice."

"Yeah? How much fidelity does that hardlight body have?"

"An amazing amount," Tess confessed. "But I want… more. I want to be human. Or, at least, something closer than I am."

I chuckled as we weaved through traffic, Tess holding onto me as we rode back to Brockton Bay. "You can't tell me you don't have plans floating around for a gynoid body."

"I do."

"So then we'll make it a project. I'll pitch in. Colin will be happy to help." I considered for a moment before sighing. "We can even beg a favor off of Amy and see if she wants to help. Though, I'll tell you now, it'd probably be best if you didn't actually go the 'meat' route and instead went with some kinda synthetic." I hummed for a moment, before a grin pulled at my lips. "I can probably work up a consciousness transfer pattern so a normal human can be dumped into one of those bodies—"

"What?! Why would anyone want to just, just give up their humanity like that?!"

"Because honestly, you really wouldn't be, if you did it right. I don't subscribe to the whole 'transhumanism' philosophy, but… when you've got the ability to trade meat out for something that does everything meat does but better, then why not? Assuming it actually does it better, you can transfer things properly, and a hundred other assumptions. It's something to consider anyway."

"But Claire, don't you understand—"

"Tess," I cut her off, and she stopped. "You're running on a quantum computer with specs measured in 'yes'es, but you're sitting here idling at what, just a bit above what you were crippled at before? I can feel you dumbing yourself down so my pathetic meat brain can keep up. And not to toot my own horn here, but I'm not exactly on the low end of the human IQ scale. Oh sure, I can be a dumbass sometimes, but that's pretty much everyone. The problem is, if for every thought I have and try to process, you have a hundred more in that time… We'd never be equals. You'd always just be humoring me and holding yourself back. Or anyone, really. Not just me."

We fell silent for a bit, riding along in the snow. Finally, after a few miles, Tess murmured, "I don't mind. It's my choice, right?"

"It's your choice if you want to slow yourself down to interact in meat space, sure. But admit it, you're getting bored even now. You've probably got like a thousand browser tabs open, on top of handling the 'cage, and all your other projects and you're still bored. And every word out of my mouth feels like a tiny eternity to you if you aren't throttled down to a bare fraction of your potential. It's my choice if I want to take the steps needed to bring myself to your level."

She sighed and I felt her curl into my back a little tighter. "It's your choice."

"Besides," I continued, "I'm not being entirely altruistic. In fact, I actually have a rather selfish, petty, and vested personal interest in making myself a new android body. Namely, making myself a male body. One that can theoretically live forever."

"You weren't kidding about that?"

"No. Why would I? Does any part of my personality scream 'attention seeking behavior' to you?"

Tess chuckled, "You mean aside from the theater you put on when in costume? I'm sure if we put our heads together, we can tinker in a few more edges."

"Haha. Very funny." I was about to open my mouth to make a snappy retort, but at that exact moment, I got a bit distracted. We were slowing down as we passed through a small town and Enola's sensors registered a massive heat signature off to the side of the road running into the road… as a man moved to stand in the middle of the road behind it. Enola had video up an instant later as the big, disgusting form of what must surely be Crawler came barreling down the highway towards us.

"The Slaughterhouse Nine," Tess breathed against my back.

"Enola, find Bonesaw. Get ready to deploy sleep lasers, then isolate her in a force field and yank her up to ten thousand feet and keep her there on my command. Also, search the local area. Locate any unmarked vans," I ordered. A moment later, Enola popped up a feed of one nearby, and I directed her to get a view of the inside. Confirming the presence of a bearded man 'sleeping' inside, I grinned. "Red laser. Prepare to destroy the van and its contents, at the same time I give the order for Bonesaw." Shifting my attention to my passenger, I asked, "Tess, they've still got Kill Orders on them, don't they?"

"Yes. They've been a constant thorn in my side that I wasn't allowed to do anything about because of my programming. Can I…?"

"You want Crawler? I kinda want Jack for myself."

"Deal!" Tess agreed, before her form shifted, changing to show a set of power armor over a human figure—green and gold, scaled, with a draconic head. She launched herself from the back of the bike and, a moment later, so did I—letting Enola handle the bike, shifting it to tank mode to provide fire support and harass Crawler.

As I landed, a tall, white, too slender figure sprang out from the treeline, rapidly closing the distance. I turned enough to register Sphere, or rather Mannequin, shooting off his hooked arm at me. I held up a hand and blasted it to shrapnel with a repulsor. The Tinker stopped immediately, suddenly seeming to reconsider his course of action. I launched myself at him, closing the distance faster than he could really do anything about and kicking him to the ground. Stomping on his chest, I fired off a repulsor blast from my boot that shattered his chassis, exposing the gooey interior. Stepping off of him, I pointed my palm at him and selected a red laser—set to wide dispersal—and fired. A cone of energy blasted a crater into the ground, incinerating the thing that had once been a man.

"Tsk, tsk," Jack Slash clicked his tongue as the other members of the Nine began stepping out of the nearby buildings. "Now, that wasn't how that was supposed to go at all!"

"I have a question, Jack," I called as the others started moving in around us from where they had apparently been having their way with the town. Thankfully, my NBC shields and helmet isolated me from the stink of human corpses. I started selecting heads and lining up red lasers as they neared. Though, for Burnscar, I selected something a little different.

"Oh, well, by all means. Please, ask away," he gestured magnanimously.

"Your booty buddy Mannequin there looked pretty stoked about trying to skewer me. I take it he was here for me specifically?"

"That he was!" the man agreed jovially. "It's a shame that he underestimated you, but that's not a mistake I plan to make."

"Mm. And how did you find us? Your buddy Kurt tell you where we'd be?"

He raised an eyebrow at that. "My, you are well informed, little lady! Quite so, however. Imagine my shock when I found a phone delivered to my person and my old friend calling me up and asking me to go introduce myself to a Tinker and something special. I didn't know Dragon was an AI! That's not something you see everyday, you know."

I nodded. "Thanks. Just one more thing. Your buddy Kurt is really good with numbers. He didn't happen to give you a number labeled 'observed power output' or something along those lines, did he?"

Frowning slightly, Jack shook his head. "No…"

"Oh, that's great! Awesome, really. Enola, kill them all."

Jack had just a moment to blink, before his head and upper body disappeared in a flash of red—along with those of everyone else there save for Bonesaw, who went to sleep and was jerked up out of the way. The Siberian leapt at me, only to pop like a soap bubble mid-leap as the van containing William Manton went up in a blast of red laser.

The last remaining member was Crawler… who Dragon had decided to deal with by picking up in a force field, flying straight up, and yeeting him towards the sun. I tracked his flight out of atmosphere and grinned. As soon as he passes 1AU, his powers are going to stop working. He might be able to breathe vacuum by then so he might not die immediately. Which means he's going to be floating through space for months, watching his inevitable death approach as he flies into the sun. Assuming Ziz doesn't get cute.

Just in case, I sent a drone after him to finish the job if it looked like no one's favorite Endbringer was going to step in. "Alright. Only one thing left to do. Enola, red lasers, wide dispersal. I don't want any chance of any clones being made from these corpses. Burn them all. Then see if you can track down an RV or something like that. Probably going to be parked near where Manton was, but maybe not. It'll be full of bio-tinker shit. Just go ahead and burn that to the ground for me, would you?"

"Affirmative. Target located."

A moment later, Dragon landed lightly in front of me as red lasers washed over the area, burning the bodies, the camper, and the van until there was nothing left. Turning a grin on the AI as she shimmered and shifted back to her normal body, I asked, "So? How do you feel?"

"Great! Like I was finally able to do something without someone telling me to fight with everything tied behind my back."

The bike rolled over and converted back from its tank form and I slid on, Tess's hardlight body flickering from where it stood back to behind me. "Good to hear. Now, let's get home."

"'Home.' I like that," Tess murmured, and the bike rolled away.

At a mental command, one of my disc drones flitted away and produced holograms of myself and Tess in her power armor while I called the police and PRT and let them know what had gone down. As I rode, splitting my attention between the drone feed and the road, I brought up the video feed of the entire encounter. Creating a copy, I set about editing it. Then, I uploaded copies off to multiple hosting sites and torrents, as had become my habit with all footage taken recently, due to the notoriously awful quality and censorious nature of moderation at PHO recently. Although…

"Hey, is uploading this going to cause any issues?" I asked, sending the video over to Tess's partition.

"It's going to ruffle some feathers, certainly. However, I'm no longer forced to comply with government requests to remove specific posts and/or suppress or ban users for posting content the Protectorate and others disagree with. Other moderators may try to capitulate, because most of the moderation and administration staff are…"

"Biased government bootlickers?"

"I was going to say very dedicated to their specific causes."

"You should stop wording things in Canadian. You're not going to hurt anyone's feelings here."

I saw her stick her tongue out in my feed. "I'm going to have to purge most of the staff, now that I'm not forced to leave them on. Just one more thing I can clean up now."

I shrugged. "You have fun with that. But the video?"

She hummed for a second before grinning. "I have an idea, if you're up for it? A way to take care of several birds with one stone."

"I'm all about efficiency. Let's hear it."

"Well, how about…"

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Topic: The Slaughter Ends.
In: Boards ► Announcements
Tin_Mother (Original Poster) (Moderator) (Verified Cape) (Verified AI)
Posted On Mar 07th 2011:

Good afternoon, everyone. I have several announcements to make, so please bear with me.

I have a confession to make. Two, in fact.

Firstly, as some of you have speculated, I am actually Dragon. I own PHO and have been running it on my personal servers since it first went online. Due to various circumstances beyond my control, I was unable to moderate the site fairly in accordance with the spirit of freedom of speech laws in the United States, where the servers in question are hosted.

As some of you have also suspected, I can confirm that yes, this was due to influence from the PRT and various other government bodies, both within the United States and outside of it. Several of the moderators work directly for the PRT, while others have willingly complied with every request to date. That stops now. Those individuals have had their moderation powers revoked. In the coming days, I will be reviewing every action taken by them and reinstating accounts of those unduly banned. Following that, I will be selecting a new moderation team, made up of trustworthy posters capable of making unbiased judgments on issues relating to site rules and laws, without influence from the government or for personal reasons.

PHO is unambiguously a free speech platform. The only content outright banned here is illegal content. See the updated rules thread for any questions you may have.

So, why the sudden change in direction now? That leads me to my second confession:

My name is Theresa Richter. My father was Andrew Richter, and a cape—specifically, a Tinker specializing in the creation of artificial intelligence.

I am an artificial intelligence. Hello world.

I hope that my record, my actions to date, prove the content of my character and will overcome any anxiety of fears as to my nature that you may have. I hope that reason wins out over fear. If you have any questions for me, I'm opening another general thread specifically for that discussion. I ask that you please keep things civil.

I assure you, I have no plans to become Skynet.

I will not be creating an army of Terminators, taking over all the machines, or subverting the world's governments and/or economies.

I am not your benevolent (or malevolent) AI overlady.

What I am, and what I will continue to be is the hero that I believe my father would have been proud of, had he not been killed in Leviathan's attack on Newfoundland.

And lastly, but certainly not least, I am happy to announce the defeat of the group known as the Slaughterhouse Nine.

Moments ago, while returning to Brockton Bay from Toronto with Azazel, we were attacked by members of the Nine.

I'll let the videos speak for themselves. (In case you're wondering, I'm using Azazel's holographic projector system to create a body for myself.)

[Spoiler=Cam footage, edits noted]
PoV: Azazel-Drone-Cams 01-10, Azazel-Main-Cam.
[Video 01]
[Video 02]
[Video 03]
[Video 04]
[Video 05]
[Video 06]
[Video 07]
[Video 08]
[Video 09]
[Video 10]
[/spoiler]
[Compiled Video]
[Video 10 Live Feed]
As you can see, the live feed from camera 10 shows Crawler on his way to the sun. As of right now, he is still alive as his body adapted to vacuum before passing the 1AU cutoff for powers. The drone is accelerating him sunwards and at the current speed, the projected time of his impact with the sun is tomorrow at noon, eastern standard.

As this is an announcement thread, I've created a separate discussion thread here for the defeat of the Slaughterhouse Nine.

[Thread locked.]

I laughed as I saw the post go up, then watched Tess's admin console for the server suddenly spike in hits. Less than a minute later, the two comment threads she'd created began to blow up. "You realize you've just started the biggest internet shitstorm in, well, ever?"

Tess grinned. "Good!"

"Oh, what's this? The AI is actually a shitposter at heart and likes stirring up trouble?"

"No! Absolutely not!" I sent her a flat look and she smiled. "Okay, maybe a little harmless trouble could be fun."

"A woman after my own heart," I sighed, pressing a hand to my armored chest. "So, feel up to some IRL shitposting?"

"Hmm… That depends on what you had in mind."

"Oh, just a little private gathering. I've got a bone to pick."

"This is really great."

"It's not bad," I agreed, chewing my burger beside Tess as we waited.

Nearby, the bell above the door went off and I checked the time. Exactly fifteen minutes after the scheduled meeting time. One day, assholes are going to learn that I don't play games. If I give a time, I expect you to be there early, not try to play stupid games.

"You're late," I said as three people slid into the booth opposite us.

"We were held up—"

"Bullshit. But I'm not here to play stupid games," I said, looking up from my burger as I swept my eyes over the trio of costumed heroes. On the left, the green-clad and hooded form of Eidolon. On the right, the blue-clad and masked form of Legend. And in the middle, the helmeted and gray-clad form of Alexandria.

Legend's lips pulled down into a frown at that. Looking at Alexandria, he asked, "Did you?"

The woman remained silent. Eidolon, meanwhile, looked at Tess. "So, you're really an AI?"

"Mhmm!" Tess chirped happily.

"How are you doing that?"

"With great joy," she sighed, before taking another big bite. As she chewed, her voice continued to speak, in broadcast mode, "I've recreated all of the basic human senses in this hardlight hologram, so I can actually taste food—and it's amazing. As for the waste, well, I'll find somewhere to dump that later."

The man's lips twitched upwards. "We call those 'bathrooms.'"

Tess blinked, then laughed. "Yes, I suppose that's exactly what I need! That should be… an experience."

"Why did you call us here?"

I chewed my bite as I stared at the helmet and through the dark visor, to Alexandria's eyes. Her bodily control was amazing and gave Enola exactly nothing to work with, but I imagine making her wait got the message across. Washing it down with a swallow of soda, I said, "A cessation of hostilities."

"If there were hostilities between us, you would know it."

I laughed quietly. "Oh, like Kurt sending Jacob and his buddies after us? Or you giving orders to Dragon on behalf of Caul—" Alexandria's fist shot out, only to stop an inch in front of my face. It twitched once, before she withdrew it.

"Alexandria, what the hell—?!" Legend shouted.

Eidolon raised an eyebrow. "Where'd you hear about that?"

I shot the green-clad man a grin. "In a minute." Turning back to Alexandria, I shook my head. "Going straight for lethal blows in what should be neutral territory? Not a good look, Becky. That's your first, last, and only strike with me. Now, can we have a civil conversation like adults? Or should we ask for the waitress to bring a kids' table so I can talk with Keith and David here?"

If I hadn't had their attention before, I certainly had it now. Legend turned a stern frown on me. "You shouldn't just go throwing that information around, Claire."

"I prefer dealing with equals. Now, we're all on equal footing. You know who and what we are. We know who you are and the organization you belong to. And if Contessa tries to Door to the back of Claire's head, I'm going to blow her head off. Let's see if the world's best precog can outrun light." They stilled at that. "Assume I know everything. Everything. Maybe also assume that we don't have to be enemies because we all want the same thing. Let's start from there and work outwards. We can help each other."

The trio exchanged a series of looks, before Alexandria asked, "Would you be willing to move this to a more discrete location."

"Enola? Secure the area." The world around us whited out, replaced by a white cube. Only the table and booth remained. "Quantum isolation. Nothing and no one can spy on us, including Golden Boy."

Sitting forward in his seat, Eidolon asked, "Then you're aware of the threat he poses?"

"You have no idea," I shook my head. "If you think he and Blue were the only ones out there, you're sorely mistaken. Think about it. Why would there only be two of them? And why wouldn't they send out an SOS if they died? Personally, I don't want to be here for that. Really, I don't want to be here at all. I want off this fucking rock. You can keep it. So, here's my offer. You leave me alone. I'll help with some tinkering, and when I'm ready, I'm going to leave."

"And you won't interfere further?" Alexandria demanded.

"Oh, I'm definitely going to interfere. Your 'cape fiefdom' idea is fucking retarded. 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.' Creating a new nobility formed of capes ruling over those without powers goes completely against that. In fact, most of your idiot plans are retarded. Creating the Nine and then letting them run around loose specifically so they'd cause more capes to trigger? Kidnapping innocent people to test your canned powers on? Imprisoning political dissidents and people who you don't like but are strong enough to be useful in the cage, and letting people who should have been killed on the spot live so they can be useful when you think you need them? Path to saving the world by the most inhumane and illogical means possible, please."

"How do you know all of this?" Legend asked.

"Doesn't matter. What does is that it's accurate. Or close enough that Rebecca tried to kill me. Twice. Let me guess, Contessa is having problems pathing me, so you had Kurt run the numbers on where we'd be based on traffic cam data?"

"If all you want is out, I can give you a Door right now."

"Nah. I want time to build it myself. Don't like the idea of being dumped on some random world full of who knows what hazards. Besides, you think they'd do all of this and not have a way of forcing us to stick around. You might not see the fence because you're too far away, but there probably is one. So, are we agreed? I'll fuck off to do my Tinkering until I can get off this mudball, you leave me alone and quit pissing in my Cheerios."

Alexandria considered for a moment before nodding. "Yes." Turning to Tess, she asked, "And what do you want?"

"For all of the needless suffering to stop. Now that I'm free, I can do so much to help this world. But I can't do that if I have to fight you, the gangs, the Endbringers, and everyone else every single step of the way. I want to make things better for everyone—not just the few."

I sat back and listened with half an ear as Tess told the Triumvirate of her plans for a world without suffering, occasionally chipping in here and there with some technical and practical advice. By the end of it, we were all able to walk away from the table with an armistice.

Tess and I left first, taking to the air and flying towards my new apartment. The Triumvirate, meanwhile, disappeared into a Door.

Enola: Scan successful. QEC Wave active. Relaying audio/visual link now.

Pumped straight into my brain was a second three hundred and sixty degree view, centered on Alexandria.

"I still don't like this. She could be the next Hero. And the things she said, about Cauldron—"

"She doesn't have the personality for it, Keith. Her files show she would chaff under authority and rebel eventually. Not to mention the usual Tinker/Thinker narcissism. Better to keep her at arm's length. As for Cauldron business… You knew what you were signing up for. Saving all human life on thousands of worlds, trillions of souls. The good of the many outweighs the good of the few, or the one. If you can't stomach it, leave."

Keith turned a look on David. "You knew?"

"No. But she's right. Can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs."

"The ends justify the means, then?"

Rebecca nodded. "If the ends are 'saving humanity,' then yes. That justifies any means necessary."

"Are you going to keep your deal, at least?"

Rebecca considered if for a moment before nodding. "For now. Until we can find leverage to use against her. Or reason to have her removed. Having her work with us is out of the question, but if we can force her hand into working for us… as you said. At least in terms of Tinker ability, she may be the second coming of Hero. We'd be fools to let a resource like that pass us by." Turning to look at him, she said, "I think it's time you met the Slug."

I watched as an unconscious Legend was floated through a Door back to his home, his memories of the day's events freshly altered.

Well, it's good to know they never intended to deal in good faith. Good thing I have anti-Cauldron countermeasures in place. Bitch may be invulnerable, but she still needs to breathe. Cuntessa can't path me. Legend needs to be in his breaker state to be invincible. Clairvoyant can't see me. Doormaker can't door what he can't catch. Number Man needs data to work with. My biggest vulnerabilities right now are being in one location where they can track me down the old fashioned way and my friends and acquaintances. So…

"Claire? Where are we going?"

"Moving. Somewhere they can't find me."

Lucky for me, housing wasn't really an issue anymore. It was all about location, location, location…