Omega [REDUX]

Chapter 18

Elsa leaned against the pillow that acted as her backrest, her platinum blonde hair still tied in a braid and lying upon her shoulder, her eyes closed, her breathing even. Outwardly, she looked like the paragon of serenity.

Inwardly, she was the complete opposite.

Goddamn, I'm a mess.

Words, phrases, sentences uttered by numerous people she had known and met in her life intermingled with highways of thought processes of her own, narrated by varying versions of her mental voice. Elsa knew how it was like to think normally inside her head: it was half-talking to yourself, half-hearing other people talk to you, hold a conversation with you, even though they weren't the ones talking to you. You were. And then she underwent the second phase of augmentation processes that directly altered her mind, and everything compounded exponentially from there.

For now, the addition of enhanced mental information retention to her capabilities would do her no good; it only helped her remember every single mistake she'd done with Anna. She acted on impulse today, and she didn't know if she went too far. Who the hell did she think she was, ruffling Anna's hair, massaging Anna's scalp, doing all sorts of things that would potentially be considered inappropriate.

And Elsa had fucking loved doing it.

A single lapse in her routine: Elsa shivered, whether in pleasure or anticipation or fright, she could not tell anymore. There were far too many emotions running through her at the same time, too much so for her to sift anything out. But after a while, she realized that wasn't what was interesting.

It was the fact that she almost never shivered.

Because cold never bothered her. She hardly even felt the sensation, let alone cold enough to shiver. The last time that had happened was when she had been overwhelmed. In a simulation. If anything, cold was inconsistent: if she could feel cold in a simulation but not in a real life-and-death situation, then it definitely wasn't it.

That being the case, it could only be Anna. Thoughts of Anna. Images of Anna.

Fantasies of Anna.

Elsa shivered again. Yes, she thought, that's it. That's it. She realized her thoughts were already laden with multiple connotations, whether she was willing to admit it to herself or not. She was compromised. Her physical, mental and emotional states were compromised.

Compromised by Anna.

Enough. Compartmentalize. Meditate. Silence. Focus. Relax. Worry.

Elsa opened her eyes and sighed, breaking her meditation by slamming her fist into the wall in frustration. She wasn't going to compartmentalize any time soon. She was out of control, and she was scared of being out of control. A lot of things depended on her keeping control, over her mind, her emotions, her powers. Without it, the consequences would be, to say the least, disastrous.

Her body was tingling, all because of Anna, and it scared Elsa so. Her mind was basically spinning around this one person right now, and she couldn't kick the thought. It scared her how obsessed she had become; her mouth watered at the thought of Anna, the accentuated curves from a toned body and well-endowed assets coming to mind. The way her juicy lips curled into a smile, the way her freckles were scattered across her milky, heavenly skin. The way she tied her smooth red hair into braids in the morning in front of the bathroom mirror, her cleavage visible through the tank top Anna wore, a tasty source of eye candy.

She was breathless. Elsa tried to force herself to breathe. This was utterly hopeless in almost everyway; she was drawn in too far, and there was no easy way out now.

Not that she necessarily wanted to get out. She wanted Anna. Badly.

More than anything.

In multiple ways, as well. Elsa kicked off the sheets, realizing her body was hot, and covered with a thin sheen of sweat. She hadn't even gone to bed yet, and was already feeling this way. The only reason she was here was because she feel like having dinner. Everyone else was. It was 7pm. She buried her face in her hands, which did nothing to quell her desire.

Elsa wanted Anna in so many ways. Most simply, as a friend. She was one of the only people she found it comfortable talking to aside from Hans, and potentially, albeit to a lesser extent, the rest of her teammates. Anna was so cheery and compassionate and easy-going it was hard to imagine why anyone would hate her. It was so wonderful having Anna around.

Beyond that, that was where things got really, really complicated. Elsa felt, if anything, more connected to Anna after the series of events that had taken place. The firefights, the incident in the dorm lift. Experiences that had bonded her to Anna, but Elsa wasn't so sure about the other way round. Elsa definitely felt something for Anna.

She doubted it was platonic; everything she'd read up about platonic love didn't match whatever she felt right now. Sure, some elements might be woven in between her emotions, but this was more. Much more. Bordering on romantic love.

Sexual lust.

She felt something ignite inside her, something she'd never felt before prior to meeting Anna. Even then Elsa acknowledged that it was one of the emotions that was completely alien to her. Her body yearned for touch. More than just a simple hand or playful jab, but to be caressed, massaged, and for her to reciprocate in kind. She wanted to do that with Anna. Images and sequences flooded her mind, threatening to override the vestiges of self-control—

She could feel something on her hand. Panic surged through her as she clamped her hand into a fist, sitting up straight all of a sudden, heart racing as she looked around, afraid that anyone could enter her room at any minute. Elsa didn't have to look down at her hand to tell what was forming across her palm.

She didn't need anyone else knowing what she was capable of. Elsa sighed, massively relieved, and laid back against her pillow again.

Maybe if no one's coming soon…

Elsa opened her palm again as she stood up, moving herself from her bed to the open space the floor provided. She sat down cross-legged, unobstructed, placing her palms facing-up on top her her legs. Other rooms inhabited by other recruits would probably be much more cluttered than this; only her room – and selected outside locations based on Elsa's strict preference – were suitable for her meditation.

Not the normal kind. The one that required absolutely no disturbance for fear of going out of control.

Where she actually let her powers free.

From her open palms came rivers of icy magic. The airborne, floating, glittering particles emanated from her skin, wafting into the air like dandelions in the wind. But their movements were not random per se; the particles began to settle in 'orbit': a single ring of blue light levitated off the ground around her, at about the height of her ankles. She could feel every single crystal that orbited around her, as well as the power that welled up within her.

She took a deep breath, and then released it. Then again. Then again.

When she'd just met Anna, her thoughts were still coordinated. Simple. Compartmentalized. Then Anna got under her skin, and everything had gone haywire from there. No longer were her thoughts words, simple commands, basic directives. Now they were complex, chained sentences laced with emotions and intensity she'd never felt previously. If her emotions had been dead before, now, because of Anna, they'd come alive.

The haunting words came back to her as she continued to sit in silence, letting her thoughts run freely. Conceal. Don't feel.

She had decided, in a moment of frustration and anger, and while in a simulated exercise, to abandon those words. Now though, they did carry some weight: emotions were a glaring weakness to her combat.

Or were they a great strength?

Elsa contemplated the incident back in the convention hall. Did she fight more haphazardly because of Anna? Potentially so.

Did she fight for vigorously for Anna, because of Anna?

Potentially so.

The ice always reflected her truest emotions, so it wouldn't stay as a ring once she'd gotten her thoughts flowing. She did this whenever she was confused, when she didn't know what she wanted, so the ice would guide her to her true mental state. Sometimes, she didn't know which was in control: herself, or the ice.

She expected the ice to form something to reflect her thoughts.

When she opened her eyes, however, she got a shock.

In the past, the ice was ambiguous when she'd learned of this tactic. In captivity of Empyrean, the ice formed a solid cube. Upon a strange desire for testing the cube's physical properties, Elsa found the cube nearly invulnerable to everything except her own touch. It reflected her trapped state, and her desire to break free.

When she'd been broken out, rescued, confused and angry and scared and ashamed of herself, the ice had formed a kaleidoscope. It even worked; she could see all the colours inside changing and reforming new shapes as she rotated it. Just like her feelings. Messy, convoluted, and changing.

Right now though, the ice went straight to the point. Before her was an intricate portrait of Anna's face.

It was a near exact replica. Her sparkling eyes, cute freckles and vibrant smile, and everything else about Anna that made Elsa's heart race was captured on that portrait. It was so lifelike, Elsa almost expected to see the rest of Anna's delicious figure next to the portrait, and she felt herself get hot again.

Edison's corpse floated through her mind again.

With a swift swipe of her hand, Elsa cleared the image, the ice scattered across the floor. What right do I have to love someone as innocent, pure and upright of character? I don't deserve her, not in a million years.

Not after what I've done.

The heat faded from her cheeks. Elsa pushed herself back up against the bed, drew her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, resting her head atop her kneecaps. She sighed deeply, heart aching.

The clock read 7.03 pm.

This was going to be one long night.

Anna poked at her food with a fork. The atmosphere of the canteen around her faded into the backdrop as her thoughts filled her mind, along with the routine action of poking at her food. Somehow mixing her potatoes and meat into a mish mash was strangely appealing. Her teammates conversed animatedly around her, Anna's behavior a notable, and strange, exception.

"You're not normally this quiet," Rapunzel noted, reaching across to touch Anna's hand, jolting Anna out of her thoughts. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Anna nodded. "I'm good."

"Drink this," Merida said, sliding a soda across the smooth canteen table to her. Anna caught the can. "This wouldn't have anything to do with the screaming you heard during the award ceremony, would it?"

"Nah." If only you knew.

"What screaming?" Belle asked. "I didn't hear anything."

"Neither did I," Rapunzel cut in. "Are we deaf or something?"

"Might have just been the crowd," Merida said, casting a sideways glance at Anna to check if she was okay. Anna returned the gaze with a small smile. Merida smiled back, and returned to the conversation. "What were we talking about?"

The conversation blended back into the background noise as Anna re-immersed herself into her thoughts once more. Though 'thoughts' wasn't exactly the correct term for her current state, her entire being focused on Elsa.

In her head she saw so many versions of herself and Elsa together. She wanted to be with her so bad, to do so many things together. She saw themselves looking at the sunset, sitting on the garden together, watching the scenic view before them. She saw Elsa brushing one of her red hair curls out of the way to give her a peck on the cheek. Involuntarily she raised her hand to her left cheek; she could almost feel the warmth of the kiss.

Right now she realized she'd probably blown away any chance of that happening.

The thought made her heart ache and her body drained away of energy. Lethargy creeped across her limbs, doing no good at relieving the gentle waves of agony that washed over her chest. Aimlessly she reached for the soda can, her other hand prying the tab open.

A sharp pain slashed at her finger. Surprised, her grip on the can loosened. A familiar weight hit her legs as blue soda spilled over her pants. "Fuck."

"Shit," she heard Belle comment. "You sure you okay? You seem outta whack today."

"I'm fine." Anna shook her head, trying to clear it. "I'mma go clean up. I've got no appetite anyway."

"That's a pretty good idea," Merida said. "Just go sleep after that."

"You gonna room with Elsa again?" Rapunzel teased, with a mischievous grin across her face.

Anna sighed in protest. "Come on, guys—"

"To be honest," Belle said, "it isn't that hard to tell you're into her."

Damn. "I'm not into her, guys," Anna denied, defeated and deflated. "She's just a really nice person to be around."

"I'll bet a really nice person to sleep with too," Rapunzel said. That got a laugh out of the three of them, Merida included. Anna rolled her eyes.

"Screw you guys," she said as she walked off.

"Don't screw us, screw her!" came the reply.

That got a small smile and a heated blush on Anna's face.

Rumbling. Gentle screeching. Hissing.

Characteristics identified. Verdict: elevator rising.

Volume of sound: low. Deduction: low stress on mechanisms. Deduction: light cargo. Deduction: only 1 person in elevator.

Hissing. Gentle screeching. Deduction: doors have opened.

Footstep pattern significantly distinct. Volume increasing slightly with every step. Deduction: it's Anna.

Anna? Why is she here? Didn't I tell her to grab a shower and go eat? Why does she need to see me? Did she break down again? Oh god, I do hope she's okay—

Elsa caught her thoughts spiraling into disarray once again just as she heard a knock on the door. "Elsa?" the distinct voice called out.

Do I sense… distress? "Coming!" Elsa hollered in reply, opening her eyes and pushing herself off the bed in the complete darkness, her vision still compensating for the lack of light. She hit the door release and the metal frame slid aside with a hiss. The resulting light streaming in forced her to squint, before her eyes quickly readjusted.

It was, indeed, Anna, albeit a little bit bluer. "Do you have spare clothes?" she asked, looking greatly embarrassed.

Elsa cocked an eyebrow, even as she turned around to look for her wardrobe. "What the hell happened?" Did you have another breakdown? God I hope you're okay, please be okay…

She heard Anna sigh as she pulled the wardrobe open, thanking the stars the darkness hid her facial expression. "I spilled soda over myself," came the sheepish reply. "My trousers are soaked through. Really sorry 'bout this."

"It's cool," Elsa managed to say with the right amount of nonchalance, though inwardly she was questioning the necessity for it. Why couldn't I just be natural with her? "What's your size?"

"Erm, 29."

That looks goddamn amazing with that… rounded bottom of yours. "That's quite slim."

"Says you," came Anna, with a small giggle. "You're the one who looks like a stick."

"Hey, at least I can afford to," Elsa replied, turning around to toss a pair of trousers towards Anna, who promptly caught them mid-air. "I don't have a wardrobe of clothing that depends on a figure to make them look good."

"For the record," Anna said as she walked off towards the showers, "you look pretty good yourself."

A hush came over Elsa as she contemplated the compliment while she watched Anna's figure walk off, her eyes resting on the lower section of her back, specifically around her bu—

Elsa cut her thoughts off abruptly, face burning up. She flopped back onto her bed, more naughty thoughts flooding her neural highways like unstoppable torrents. Something at her core began to stir in a decidedly pleasurable way, but Elsa didn't quite know how to deal with it. She desperately needed release, somehow, in whatever manner necessary. She gripped the blankets with both her hands as she stretched both her legs, seeking whatever it was that would relieve her.

No dice. She was going to be stuck this way for a while.

Elsa slammed her fist onto the wall next to her, with controlled strength; not quite enough to dent the metal (even though she could anytime she wanted), but enough to leave a resounding "thump!" and an explosion of frost layered upon the cool surface. She cast a sideways glance at her own fist; Elsa's skin had begun to layer with frost as well.

She sighed, resigned to her fate. Damn it, Elsa. Innumerable opponents and friend-turned-foe doesn't make you skip a beat, and this girl makes you all mushy inside? You really are something, aren't you?

"Mind if I come in?" Elsa jumped at the voice, not realizing she'd been so caught up in her thoughts that she hadn't detected Anna making it within a 5 meter radius of the door. That was a first. "I can't really sleep right now," Anna continued.

"You normally don't sleep this early," Elsa said, motioning for Anna to enter, "even when you do come here to sleep."

"You normally eat dinner," Anna retorted, pouting as she closed the door behind her. "What's up this time?"

"Kinda tired."

"Touché."

"There's more to it than exhaustion for you," Elsa noted, as she scooted over for Anna to make space. "Shoot. What's bothering you?"

She watched Anna's face turn from composed to pure panic in a matter of seconds. The fact that nothing was done to hide it meant that Anna assumed that her face was invisible in the dark. Elsa felt guilty that she had enhanced vision right then and there; she felt like she was intruding.

"I…" Anna managed, piquing Elsa's curiosity as to why she would want to lie. "I'm such a massive klutz."

Elsa cocked an eyebrow, knowing that Anna couldn't see her, but that she could see Anna. For now, if she wanted to find out what Anna's real problem was, and if she herself could do anything to help Anna, Elsa was going to have to play along. "What do you mean?"

"I mean like… just look at what I just did," Anna said, gesticulating in the blackness of the room. "I spilled blue soda all over myself. I had to ask you for clothing because I accidentally sent all my clothes to the washroom. When I was cleaning up I accidentally used shampoo instead of soap to wash my body."

Elsa fought back the urge to giggle, but the image of Anna lathering her body was bringing more than just humor to Elsa's mind. "That's okay, we all make mistakes," she said, feeling her face become hot again, the familiar, desperate need for some kind of release filling her again.

Anna leaned against her shoulder, her voice quietened in insecurity. "Not this many mistakes."

"Don't say that."

"That's easy for you to say, Elsa. You're good at everything. I'm probably just one big huge mistake."

Elsa gently pushed Anna off her shoulder. "You're talking to a bio-engineered weapon over here. Whoever said I was a good thing?"

"But you're skilled at everything—"

"Anna, you happen to have a life," Elsa said, a tinge of self-deprecation in her voice that she found, for once, to be completely natural. "I don't. I literally came here about a year ago from a life of drills or torture, one or the other. I had to throw myself into picking up every single thing that I had missed out in 20 years of life."

"Twenty?!"

"Yes, Anna, I'm a full 3 years older than you and everyone here. And no more socially capable than the lot of you all."

"Tell me about it," Anna said, a different edge in her voice now. "There's almost no one more socially awkward than me."

"I'd bet on that."

"Would you?"

"You're talking to someone who didn't know how underclothes worked until a week before I met you."

Anna literally fell off the bed laughing. The sweet melody filled Elsa's ears, allowing a grin to spread across her cheeks. "Told you."

"What the heck?" Anna managed between guffaws. "How? Why?"

"My existence has been pretty much disconnected from society thus far, Anna."

"I messed up my first kiss as with a boy by accidentally kneeing him in the crotch."

It was Elsa's turn to react. "The hell?"

Anna's head drooped, but Elsa could still see a small smile. "Yeah, it was embarrassing as hell."

"I wouldn't know," Elsa replied. "I'm not quite interested in romantic partners."

"Are you now?" Anna spoke up suddenly, a glitter in her green eyes, albeit dulled by the blackness around her as she turned to face Elsa fully. "Ever made out with anyone before?"

"No…" Elsa said tentatively.

"Which is more interesting? Guys or girls?"

Neither; the answer is you. "I'm not quite sure."

"You mean you're never thought about it?"

"I've never really felt attracted to anyone, and I probably won't for the foreseeable future."

Is that disappointment on her face? Hurt, sadness, and disappointment? Elsa had meant that sentence as a straight up lie; she definitely felt some kind of attraction to Anna, but she hadn't expected this reaction from Anna either. She watched her friend process her statement, still oblivious that her facial expressions were visible to Elsa, before Anna said, "Oh."

That was it. A simple, single syllable, and yet it carried almost everything Elsa needed to know about what Anna was feeling right now. Dare she say it? Dare she tell Anna that she knew?

No. Not quite yet. She wasn't so sure about her own feelings, let alone Anna's. Before she went all in Elsa was going to have to sort a few things out first.

She felt Anna lean on her shoulder. "I'm tired."

"Same here," Elsa replied. "We'd better crash. Lessons resume tomorrow."

"Good idea."

She felt the warm body next to her curl up to her own body as they adjusted their position to a more comfortable one, heads on the same pillow, cramped but cozy, and Elsa found Anna's forehead pressed into hers. She could hear soft, irregular breathing, reminiscent of sobbing, but it soon faded away into gentle, even breathing.

Anna.

The pronounced thought resounded and reverberated off the walls in her head. It was a good kind, this time. Not like Empyrean.

Anna.

Elsa snuggled up to the red-haired girl beside her, gave her a quick peck on the forehead, and settled in for a deep sleep.

000

I am SO SORRY for the slow update :( I'm having exams; just finished a few minor ones and going to have to study for some major ones in July, and I'm currently settling in for the long haul. I'll try to update this from time to time, so thanks for reading and keep being awesome :)