Another Monday means another afternoon in the room Benji and Mia had commandeered in the art building so they can be alone and get their work done as they chat. With Mia's busy schedule, these are the only times when Benji can catch up with her. The air outside is heavy and grey, the wind rattling against the light aluminum structure of the building that had been constructed only a few years earlier.
Sitting and staring at the painting before him—this one depicting distorted chopped up body parts floating through a field of red with silver bubbles suspended around them over what looks like a desert—Benji scrunches his face in concentration. This piece isn't giving him nearly as much grief as the previous one, but it still feels like it's missing something, the image within his mind's eye like a pair of slightly unbalanced scales that need only a feather or two to even out.
"So… how did things go with basketball boy?" Mia asks, breaking Benji from his focus.
"Oh, god. Don't even get me started," he says, pulling out his earbuds from where Dolly Parton's "Here You Come Again" blares in his ears as he all but throws his arms up in the air.
"Shit… I'm sorry, man. I hope things go better for you next time."
"No, you don't understand. Let me put it this way… He's a service top."
Realization dawns on Mia's face and she breaks into a grin as both her eyebrows shoot into her hairline. "Ohhhh."
"Yeah. But holy shit, it was incredible. Like probably the best I've ever had. And I'm seeing him again this week," Benji says, flicking away the fringe that had fallen into his face.
"Nice, look at you!" Mia says, holding her hand out. Benji gives her a high five, smearing paint all over her hand, which she wipes on her apron with a small smile. "Finally. Tell me about him, I wanna hear everything."
"Well, if I'm being honest, I was a bit… apprehensive about seeing him again," Benji says, chewing on his lip for a moment. "Like, he was so friendly. And it kinda weirded me out at first. He was asking me a lot of personal questions and like… he wanted to feed me. And before you ask, not just his dick. Like, actual food."
Mia narrows her eyes. "What sort of personal questions?"
"Like, what I'm studying, what my art history paper is on… that sorta stuff."
"So lemme get this straight. Or, gay, I guess… You were upset he was trying to be polite and respectful and not just jumping right to putting his dick in you."
"See, when you put it like that it makes me sound like an idiot."
"You kinda are," Mia says, rolling her eyes. "Even though I'm with Lake, if I was hooking up with a girl who actually talked to me and wanted me to feel comfortable, I would be fucking grateful."
"I realized that after I almost blocked him." Benji says sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.
"If you actually went through with it, I would have honestly kicked your ass," Mia says, clicking her tongue. "He sounds really lovely, though."
"He is, actually. And did you know that after I got back to my dorm on Saturday I actually finished my whole paper over the weekend? His dick is like Adderall."
"Wait, I thought you weren't sleeping over anymore?"
"Me, too, but my whole body felt like jelly afterward so he was like 'you're too much of a mess to leave' and I just like. Fell asleep," Benji says with a shrug.
"Just don't get too attached," Mia warns, brandishing her torch in Benji's direction. "You know what they say about post-coital cuddling sessions."
"I know, I know. That's why I have an appointment with another guy tonight."
"Maybe you'll finally end up with an actual hoetation soon," Mia says with a chuckle. "Lemme see this one."
Benji scrolls around on his phone for a moment before showing the screen to Mia.
"Well, he certainly is… muscular," Mia says, grimacing.
"Yeah, I know his face is kinda fucked up, but he has a nice body," Benji says defensively, staring down at his phone again. "And I don't have to see him again if I don't want to."
"Sometimes, your taste is very questionable," Mia muses. "But I'm not judging you, obviously. And he could surprise you. Maybe he'll be even better than Victor."
"I'm not gonna get my hopes up," Benji says with a sigh. "Anyway—"
They're interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming in from the corridor, and Benji pauses, eyes darting to Mia and holding her gaze for a moment. The art building doesn't get a lot of traffic during the day, so it's unusual for people to be walking about, especially since most classes don't start until later.
"Oh, hey. What are you two chatting about so loudly I can hear your voices all the way down the hall?" comes a familiar voice from the doorway.
"Andrew!" Mia all but shouts, not even bothering to put her torch down as she runs over and wraps her free arm around his middle. "I haven't seen you all semester."
"Hey, man. You've been a ghost lately," Benji says with a smile and a small wave.
"Yeah, Fee and basketball and pre-law and frat shit have been keeping me busy," Andrew says with a shrug. "I figured since Mia and I have our little catch up dinner soon, I may as well drop by and surprise you two."
"Shit, I almost forgot," Mia says, pulling out her phone and scrolling through it. "I think I set an alert for that but it probably got buried under queries and student council emails and all that other stuff. People need to stop needing my attention. Oh shit. And Lake called me. And texted me. Uh oh… Lemme take this..."
Mia dashes out of the room and into the corridor, pulling the door closed behind her and leaving Andrew and Benji alone.
"Whatcha workin' on there, Campbell?" Andrew asks, padding over to where Benji is sitting in front of his easel and standing behind him, his body uncomfortably close. He leans down, his face right beside Benji's, staring straight ahead.
"I wanted to try something a bit different. This is a surrealist piece and it's meant to be more of a commentary on the transformative nature of physicality. So, basically, how humans can physically transform the body and how that affects us psychologically, in turn," Benji explains, glancing to the side. He swallows.
"Interesting… but what is it?"
"That's for you to interpret for yourself," Benji says with a roll of his eyes. "It's meant to be… abstract. Like, there are influences from Dali and Kahlo, even though obviously Kahlo argued that her work wasn't surrealist but realist—"
"Benji, I have no idea what you're talking about," Andrew says with a chuckle as he stands up straight and stares at the painting again. "But I'm looking forward to seeing this when it's finished. I know it's gonna look cool."
Andrew claps him on the shoulder before he crosses his arms over his chest and tilts his head to the side. Benji shifts away from him, suffocated by his presence in the circle of his personal space bubble. He wishes he could be as cool as Andrew after they had hooked up in the end of last semester, and even though it had been one time and they realized they were better off as the strictly platonic friends they had been for the past almost two years, Benji still feels the sharp, thorny blanket of awkwardness around them whenever they're alone. He clears his throat.
"Thanks," Benji grits out. He wants Mia to come back. "How's Fee?"
"Oh, yeah, they're good. I just spent the last like… hour or so watching them dig in the dirt because they said they have to 'practice for when they go to an actual archeological site' which is… uh, kinda cool, I guess. All they ended up finding were some ants, though, and now they have... Twenty new pets."
"You two seem so… different," Benji says with a chuckle, mixing some red and yellow paints together on his palette.
"Maybe so," Andrew says with a shrug. "But they're funny and cute and weird in a charming way and they make me happy so that's all I care about."
Benji doesn't need for Victor's face to pop into his mind at that moment, but it does anyway despite his wishes. He shoves it away, adding it to the precarious stack of memories in his mind and shutting the door quickly, locking it before the door has a chance to pop open from the weight pressing on it from within.
As soon as Benji opens his mouth to respond, the door clicks open, and Mia returns.
"Sorry about that, ya'll," Mia says, a bit out of breath as she stomps over to her stool. "Lake is writing an article and she needed some quotes from the student council president. What did I miss?"
Sighing with relief, Benji thanks whatever higher power is up there for her return. He returns to his painting.
"I was just telling Benji about Fee's pet ants," Andrew says with a chuckle.
"They got more?" Mia says, eyes wide.
"Yeah, there's a whole formicarium full of them now."
"As long as they don't get out then it's probably fine," Mia says with a sigh. "Anyway… Benji, did you tell Andrew about Victor?"
Benji's hand slips and sends a thick orange line across the middle of his painting. "Fuck Mia, warn me next time. I'm gonna have to go over this again."
"This is the first I'm hearing about a Victor," Andrew says, raising his hand to his chin.
"Oh, he's just some guy I'm hooking up with," Benji says, a small blush creeping across his cheeks. He uncaps some blue and yellow paint and mixes the shade that he needs to correct his mistake.
"He's not just some guy, probably the most perfect guy you can sleep with," Mia says, swooning. "Not only is he athletic and hot, he's also nice and considerate and… he's smart, too, right?"
"Yeah, he's a bio major, so he's pretty smart," Benji says, not taking his eyes off his work. "And he's also very, very gay," Benji adds, pointed.
"And I'm a lesbian, but I can acknowledge when someone is objectively good looking," Mia says, rolling her eyes. "How did you describe the sex again? 'Incredible', right?"
Grumbling, Benji swats at her with one of his clean paint brushes. The heat climbing his face with the knowledge that Andrew is there makes him sweat. He wonders if Mia would still talk about these things if she knew about him and Andrew; but neither of them felt the need to tell her and perhaps it was for the best. Andrew glances at Benji, and Benji's eyes dart to meet Andrew's in turn; Andrew then looks down at his phone.
"Mia, we should probably get going. I wanna give us time to eat and catch up and still make it to basketball practice on time," Andrew says.
"Right, good call. Lemme just grab my things," she says, scrambling about and removing her apron before grabbing her satchel. "Okay, I'm ready."
"Bye, guys. Have fun," Benji says with a wave.
"See ya, B," Mia replies.
Andrew raises his hand in Benji's direction with a wink before he and Mia slip out into the corridor, leaving Benji to his painting—alone. He knows he won't be there long because he still has to clean his room a bit before messed up face guy arrives to fuck his brains out—even if he does plan to kick him out right after. Or maybe he could take a page out of Victor's book and ask him to stay the night…
Benji shudders at the thought. Hell no. He needs space or this whole charade falls apart, a house of cards collapsing in on itself because it has no structural integrity.
When Benji finally corrects the spot he'd made a mess of, he sighs. It had taken all his remaining patience to fix it, and he'd emptied his mind of it for the day. At 7:30, he packs his bag and runs to grab something quick to eat for dinner before he returns to his dorm, washes up, then cleans up as best as he can before he sits down to wait.
The guy is supposed to show up at 9, but Benji checks his phone at 9:15 and sees nothing telling him he might be running late. He already regrets all the effort he'd wasted getting ready, his eyes falling closed as he scrolls through his twitter feed in bed, when he finally gets a message at 10:10 saying: "I'm outside".
"Fuck off" he writes back, then presses the little circle with the line through it before he strips and puts on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and climbs into bed. He reaches out to his nightstand, taking the copy of The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles he'd borrowed from the library for his literature class and opening it to the page where he'd left off.
—
"Hey, Vic, dinner's ready!" Fee calls from down the corridor, their voice wafting through the air along with the strong scent of tomato and garlic and oregano and whatever else they had added to their concoction.
"I'll be there in a sec," Victor calls back.
He tucks his calculator into his organic chemistry textbook along with his notebook, glancing at his room and cringing when he sees how disheveled it's gotten over the course of the week.
Granola bar wrappers, empty Gatorade bottles and crushed up cans of Red Bull litter the floor around the bin in the corner, and Victor almost panics until he checks the time, exhaling relief when he sees that he still has two hours to tidy up before Benji arrives, because he would be more than humiliated if someone else saw the substandard conditions he subjects himself to on a daily basis.
He feels the golden glow of luck cast itself upon him as he thinks about how he'd had to actually leave his own room to hook up this week instead of having anyone over. But maybe he should clean up a bit before dinner…
Once his floor is spotless, his mind lightens, and he can finally go and enjoy his dinner with his best friend. He enters the kitchen, mouth watering at the scent, and grabs a plate from the cupboard before he shovels a pile of pasta onto it.
"How's my bestie doing?" Fee asks through a mouthful of pasta as they make room for Victor to sit beside them on the bench. Today they're wearing blue and purple hair clips to keep their long fringe out of their eyes.
"Sorry I took so long, I had to clean up a bit…. I've been okay but I've had a bit on my mind," Victor says, taking a bite of his pasta, eyes widening. "Fee, this is delicious, thank you so much."
"No problem, man. And it's all good, I know you have a little uh… romp with Benji scheduled soon, so it's normal to be nervous about it," Fee says with a grin. "But hopefully my delicious food can calm your nerves a bit."
"I hope so," Victor says, rubbing the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "I guess I'm just… a little confused, is all. And that makes it hard to figure out how to sorta… proceed."
"To be fair, most people confuse me, which is why I'm studying anthropology," Fee says with a dramatic shrug. "You know, so I can better understand my own species. But I can definitely try to help somehow."
Victor chuckles, covering his mouth with his hand for a moment before he replies. "My problem is I think I've been too… how do I say this… full-on? Maybe? With the guys I've been hooking up with."
"In what way?"
"Like… maybe the reason most of them, aside from Benji, don't want to see me again is because I like… do too much? I guess they're expecting it to just be like, they come in, we… do it, and then they leave? Maybe I should like… Pull back a bit?"
"It could just be that they don't appreciate your hospitality, Vic. Like, I understand that these sorts of things are supposed to be more casual but I don't think there's anything wrong with being a gracious host and someone who looks after people, even if you might not see them again."
Chewing and pondering, the wheel in his mind speeding up as he takes in his friend's words, Victor stares off into the distance, watching the cars rolling down the highway outside the window.
"I think I should try just… not giving a fuck. Like I noticed it last week when Benji was over, actually. He seemed really confused when I like, was asking him about what he's been up to or when I offered to let him sleep over. You know, normal people things. Or at least, that's what I thought were normal people things. Until… recently."
"Hmm… That's tough. I can see why you would say that. Our social rules are really strange and still don't make a lot of sense to me but you might actually be onto something…" Fee says, finishing up the rest of their food before leaning back and patting their stomach. "And now I'm really full and I don't know how I'm gonna be in any state to get out of here and carry my ants across campus with me."
"How the hell am I supposed to invite him in and not just like… want to give him some of this delicious pasta?" Victor says, burying his face in his hands.
"Well, if he's not expecting any then just… don't, I guess. But I'll admit I would feel bad, too," Fee says, taking their plate to the sink and washing it.
"So I basically have to just like… change my whole personality. Cool. I can do that. Just be a guy who doesn't care about anyone else. Easy peasy," Victor says with a nervous giggle.
"See, even though I don't agree, I'm going to support you no matter what 'cause you're my bro, bro. My bestie. Maybe people really are just out there expecting you to be cool and distant. Good luck," Fee says, their voice sounding suspiciously cheerful to Victor's ears. "Let me know how it goes. And stay safe."
"Thanks?" Victor says, raising an eyebrow.
Fee claps Victor on the shoulder before wandering down the corridor to their room and Victor can hear the loud fwump as Fee plops down on their bed for a moment, before the sound of shuffling and footsteps drifts in Victor's direction. Fee returns, carrying a giant glass box full of sand.
"I'm off. Tell Benji 'greetings' from me. Or don't, your choice," Fee says, waving before opening the door and disappearing down the hallway. "Anyway, see ya."
"Bye."
Victor sighs, and he glances down at his plate where a few pieces of pasta remain. Suddenly, the sight of food makes him ill. He cleans up after himself before hopping into the shower, thankful that his other roommates are out for the rest of the evening. Then he dresses himself, opting for a plain black shirt and skinny jeans this time around. He connects his phone to his speakers and turns on the playlist he specifically compiled for when he has hook up partners over and puts it on shuffle. "Partition" by Beyonce comes on, the heavy bassline floating through the room.
It's 8:58 when Victor's phone clicks and he checks it.
"I'm here ?" the little banner on his screen reads.
He wants to respond as soon as possible but he lets it be for a moment. It's 9:03 when he finally responds.
"Be right there" he messages back. No emojis. He feels like a monster.
With a sigh, he pockets his phone and walks down the hall to the entrance where Benji is waiting for him—clad in his leather jacket but this time wearing a starry black crop top—and as soon as he sees Victor's face, he smiles. In his hand, he has a little baggie, which he holds out to him.
"Hey, what's up?" Benji asks, as he steps inside, kissing Victor on the cheek. "You look really good. I uh, brought some cookies for you and your roommates. I baked them earlier today so they're super fresh."
Raising an eyebrow, Victor can feel his stomach do a somersault as he steps back. He hadn't been expecting Benji to be so affectionate all of a sudden. He takes the cookies, feeling his heart leap into his eyes.
"Hey," Victor says, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning. "Thanks. And uh… you look… nice, too."
"Thank you. How was your week?" Benji ventures, as they walk down the hallway together. "I actually managed to finish my art history paper over the weekend and it came out better than I expected."
"Uh… cool," Victor says, unlocking the door to his dorm and stepping aside for Benji to enter. He has to stop himself from asking questions; his stomach burns and pricks and rolls within him because he wants to know more. But all he says is: "My week was… fine."
Victor sets the cookies down on the table and watches Benji for a moment as he takes his shoes off and sets them down beside the door before he shrugs his jacket off, holding it out to Victor. "Aren't you gonna take this from me? Like you did last time?"
"Closet's right there," Victor says, pointing, and Benji's face falls a bit as he turns to open it and puts his jacket away himself. The screaming inside his brain gets progressively louder with each passing moment as he pours two glasses of water.
"So, uh… How're your… school things going?" Benji asks as they walk down the corridor to Victor's room.
"Fine," Victor says as he closes the door with his foot and sets the glasses down on the nightstand. He doesn't elaborate.
"Okay…" Benji says, sitting down on the bed and watching as Victor pulls his shirt over his head, followed by his pants, and tosses them aside before sitting down next to him. "Well, I don't know if this will make any difference to you, but I've been thinking about your dick this whole time."
"Cool. Are we doing this or what?" Victor asks, staring down at the exposed strip of flesh on Benji's middle, his brown eyes already dark with lust.
Benji swallows, eyes glued to Victor's chest and then his gaze trails down to Victor's lap. For a moment, all he does is stare. He nods as he pulls his crop top off, followed by his jeans, before sidling beside Victor on the bed. Victor drapes his arm around Benji, pulling him closer, and brushes his hair aside before he presses his mouth against Benji's neck as he rests his hand on Benji's thigh.
"I like this song," Benji mutters, closing his eyes as "Body Party" by Ciara plays, the slow, smooth r&b and pleasant lyrics soothing both their nerves.
Victor feels the vibration of Benji's throat against his skin, saying nothing in response but savoring the sensation for a moment before he trails kisses down his chest, sucking on one of Benji's nipples as he reaches into his underwear with his free hand and strokes him in time to the rhythm of the music. Benji reaches out blindly, slipping his hand down the front of Victor's pants, too, and feels the wetness of his precum coating his palm. He gasps as Victor slows his strokes to a painful, glacial pace, and all he can do is thrust into Victor's hand.
"Turn around," Victor mutters in his ear as he turns to lie on his side. He slides his underwear off him and rolls a condom down the length of his dick.
Doing as Victor asks, Benji turns to lie on his side with his back facing Victor. Kissing his back as he instinctively does, Victor slides his lubricated fingers into Benji's hole one by one, stretching him slowly and, as he did last time, taking his time. He doesn't have to rush. Victor is thankful for the music playing in the background because he feels so fucking awkward; he just wants to talk to Benji, but instead, all he does is wiggle his fingers around inside him and make him moan and shudder and press himself back against Victor.
"That feels so fucking good," Benji breathes, and Victor removes his digits, humming, before planting a series of kisses down Benji's spine.
"I'm gonna put it in you now," Victor says as he lubes his cock up and positions himself behind Benji.
"Please," Benji begs.
When Victor does as Benji asks, he bites at the spot where Benji's shoulder meets his neck to stifle his moan, the sensation of Benji's tight heat engulfing him about to send him over the edge. He stays like that for a moment, allowing Benji to adjust, as he wraps his arm around his middle and presses his face into Benji's hair.
Victor pulls out before he slips back into Benji, slow at first, before he quickens his pace a bit, hitting that spot inside Benji that makes him dig his nails into Victor's arm as he clutches at him and pushes his ass back in time with Victor's thrusts. Victor can feel himself getting close.
"Can I choke you?" Victor murmurs in Benji's ear, as he pinches one of his nipples, making the other gasp sharply.
"Y-yeah… just… not hard—ah—please," Benji manages to grit out.
"I know," Victor says.
Trailing his hand up Benji's chest and to his neck, Victor rests his fingers on the outer part of Benji's throat, pressing down gently. Benji strokes himself quickly, cum spilling into his hand as a wave of euphoria crashes over him, feeling lightheaded just as Victor releases his hold on him and groans, finishing before pulling out of Benji's trembling body.
He says nothing as he rises from the bed, disposing of his condom and cleaning himself off before trekking down the hall to the bathroom to bring a washcloth to clean Benji up, as well.
"How are you feeling?" Victor asks when he returns to see Benji staring at him from his spot on the bed.
"Fine," Benji says, allowing Victor to take care of him for a moment before he rises to his feet, wincing. "I'm gonna go."
"Okay…" Victor says, screaming at himself to tell him, "No, stay here, I'll take care of you" but he doesn't say that bit out loud.
They dress themselves in silence, Benji struggling a bit, but Victor is thankful once again for the music playing in the background, even though nothing could make time move any faster. He watches as Benji faces him, an unreadable expression on his face, before he follows him out the door to the entrance to the building again.
"G'night," Victor says. "I had fun." Get home safe.
"Yeah," Benji says, swallowing before he says: "Night."
Victor watches him limp away, pressing his lips together into a line and feeling his heart sink in his chest. He returns to his dorm with his hands shoved in his pockets. A little after ten, his phone clicks.
"Made it home in one piece."
Exhaling, Victor sets his phone on his nightstand, eyes hanging heavy on his face as he drifts off to sleep.
When he awakens to the birds chirping and the light shining in through his window, he reaches out for his phone. He has a notification from Benji again.
"What was last night all about?"