Victor opens his eyes, blinking weariness and soreness and tightness from them as he shifts in his seat. He wipes the side of his mouth, grimacing when he realizes he's drooled all over himself and the wall. The bright morning sun pierces through the glass of the dirty library windows, casting a white sheet over everything and blinding Victor to the fact that he'd fallen asleep and spent the night in the library—again. His body aches and he forces himself out from the corner of the room to stand, leaning back and stretching his limbs as wide as they'll go and shaking them out.

He runs his hand down his face, swallowing the acrid taste of stagnant saliva and feeling the unpleasant unevenness—almost a roughness—of his unbrushed teeth against his tongue. Glancing at his phone, Victor groans. It's already almost 8:30; he'd just lost an hour and a half of studying because he's too fucking tired and had forgotten to set an alarm. He hadn't even closed his laptop before passing out, the dark screen staring blankly at the wall before it. Oh well.

His phone buzzes in his hand; a notification indicating there's a message from Lake in the group chat pops up.

"On my way! To lib hold the table" the message reads.

"Omw* stupid autocorrect" comes the follow up message.

"K I'm in the back" Victor replies quickly with a tired chuckle.

Sighing, Victor watches a few stray students mill about, some he recognizes from yesterday evening who he imagines also succumbed to the same fate as he had, because some of them are still clad in yesterday's clothes, wrinkled and disheveled. They don't have time to slack off with finals coming up. And Victor knows he'll be able to sleep all he wants once they're over. He just needs to power through for a few more days…

Eyelids like lead weights on his visage, Victor slides back into his seat and turns his laptop back on with the intent of studying some more, even if his brain is so fried, he can barely comprehend any human language.

"Hey, nerd," Lake says, cutting Victor from what would barely constitute true thoughts as she drops a stack of textbooks on the table. "Oh, god, you slept here, didn't you."

"Buddy!" Fee says, wrapping their arms around Victor and clapping him on the back. "I see you spent the night here again. No offense but… you're a bit of a disaster. Maybe you should like… go home and shower and take a nap in like, an actual bed."

"I'm fine," Victor lies. "I can't afford to sleep right now."

"You're wearing the same outfit I saw you in yesterday and you look like you're about to keel over and die," Lake says dramatically. "If you don't go back willingly Fee and I will just carry you," she adds, threatening.

"Yeah, we can't have two of our friends sick at the same time," Fee says.

"What do you mean?" Victor asks, concern lacing his voice.

"Didn't you hear? Benji has like the flu or whatever because he thought it would be cute to wear a glorified napkin to the party we went to on the weekend when it was literally freezing outside," Lake says, rolling her eyes.

"How are you fine, then?" Victor asks, raising an eyebrow at Lake. "You weren't wearing much more than he was."

"Oh, honey. I don't get sick."

"It's true," Fee says, adjusting their headband. "Lake has the immune system of an infant completely up to date on all their vaccines. The CDC used her as a case study one time, called her a medical marvel."

Lake flips her hair over her shoulder. "Yup, I'm basically Wonder Woman."

"That's DC, Lake. You'd probably be more like Black Widow, if we're talking about the canon of the Marvel universe," Fees says as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Anyway, I'd love to continue this super fun chat about mediocre superhero movies with you two but uh… Is Benji okay? I was wondering why he wasn't texting back..." Victor says.

"Yeah, he's fine. Just laying in bed, probably sleeping. What else can he be doing? He's not dying," Lake says with a shrug.

"That kinda sucks," Victor says, eyebrows knitting together.

There's a pause as Fee and Lake glance at each other across the table from Victor, before returning their gaze to him. Groups of students begin to pour into the library; someone runs over and steals the chair from beside Victor before he even has a chance to respond.

"What's the deal with you two, anyway?" Lake asks after a moment, voice low; she pops a red piece of gummy candy between her lips and chews it fast. Fee leans in, too.

Victor giggles nervously, squirming in his seat. "Uh… what do you mean?"

"Oh stop it, Salazar, you know what I mean," Lake snaps. "You like him."

"He's my friend, of course I like him," Victor replies, face heating up.

"I think what Lake is trying to say is that… you like him as more than a friend. Right?" Fee says.

"Like, you wanna marry him and have two point five kids and a dog and live in a house with a white picket fence," Lake corrects them.

"You guys are crazy," Victor says, closing his laptop and gritting his teeth as he shovels his things into his bag.

"Well, you didn't answer my question," Lake says.

"People don't really get that worked up over their 'just friends' being sick, don't you think?" Fee asks, scratching their neck with the back of their pen. "Sounds like you like like him."

"I don't like like him, we aren't five," Victor huffs, zipping his bag closed more forcefully than he means to. "We're just two grown ups hanging out and occasionally having sex and partaking in healthy communication and having boundaries without the need for a relationship. Ow!" Victor hisses, the flesh on his fingers catching between the teeth of the zipper and breaking skin.

"Right…" Fee says, jaw hinged to the side, licking at the backs of their teeth.

"Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking even bringing this up," Lake says sarcastically. "It's not like you're gonna go back to your place right now and cook him some soup instead of going to sleep and taking care of yourself like a normal person."

"Leave me alone," Victor mutters as he slips his arms into the sleeves of his jacket and buttons it up.

"But you're not denying it," Lake points out.

"Goodbye, Lake," Victor says, glaring at her. "See you later, Fee," he adds less forcefully as he waves, half-hearted, in their direction, before storming out of the room.

Running down the stairs of the library, Victor exhales loudly as he shoves the doors open to the outside, exposing himself to the early morning air. The campus is empty, for the most part, aside from the occasional student going into the library or one of the other buildings on campus, like lone worker bees pollinating individual flowers before returning to the colony in the evening.

Victor puts his earbuds in and plugs them into his phone, pressing "shuffle" as he tries to even his breathing. The familiar chords of Beyonce's "Halo" begin building in his eardrums, and Victor feels his heartbeat drop as he watches the trees like black hands outstretched toward the heavens, swaying in the breeze, reminding him that he's alive. He can get through this.

Without thinking much of it, Victor opens the message thread between him and Benji and even though he doesn't expect a response, he writes:

"Hey I heard you're sick ? Hope you get well soon?￢ﾀﾝ

The song changes as Victor approaches his building. He allows the warmth to embrace him as he walks through the doors and then into his dorm, kicking off his shoes and padding across the floor to the kitchen. Setting his back down on the bench, he then opens the fridge, glancing inside to see what ingredients he has.

He rubs his eyes before opening the internet application on his phone and typing in "how to make vegan soup" before pressing "enter" and leaning over the counter on his elbows, scrolling through the results and humming along to the light chords of the song floating into his eardrums.

Once he finds a recipe that seems easy enough, Victor takes out some vegetables from the fridge, setting down some onion, garlic, ginger, carrots, celery, mushrooms and the works, before washing what needs to be washed, peeling and chopping it all up into rough pieces. He searches through the cupboard for some seasoning, throwing in dashes of turmeric and coriander and bay leaves as well as some coconut oil and seaweed he finds tucked away in the back that he never figured out a use for. At this point, he knows he's deviated from the recipe quite a bit. He puts everything into a big pot and covers it with water before placing it on the stove, then adding some salt to the water and putting the lid on it while waiting for it to come to a simmer.

After putting the soup to cook, Victor sits down at the kitchen table, pulling out his laptop and opening it up. He returns to his orgo notes again for a moment before raising his gaze back to the stove and getting back up. Mouth scrunching to the side, he pauses, before opening the cabinet and withdrawing a bag of rice and a box of elbow noodles. He puts a pot of salted water on the stove, then pours a bit of rice into another pot, washes it until the water runs clear, and then adds a bit of water and salt to it and sets it on the stove, too.

Victor smiles as he takes the lid off the big pot of soup and stirs the contents, taking a spoon to taste it. His eyebrows jump and he gasps as he takes another sip of the light brown broth. Nodding, impressed with his own handiwork, Victor licks his lips before covering the soup again so it can cook some more. Once the smaller pots begin to boil, he mixes and then covers the rice, lowering the temperature on the burner, before adding the noodles to cook in the other pot and stirring them so they don't stick together.

As soon as Victor sits back down at his computer, his phone dings and he glances over to see a notification indicating he has a message from Benji. Raising an eyebrow, Victor opens the message. It reads:

"Hey, thanks for checking up on me ? Should be all good soon ?￢ﾀﾝ

Biting his lip to suppress his smile, Victor writes back:

"I have something for you that should hopefully help a bit ? Will come by soon❤️"

He looks away for a moment, then, when his eyes dart back to the screen, his heart rate spikes, punching through the bones of his ribcage. Shit! He hadn't meant to send that emoji.

"Oops? didn't mean❤️ pls ignore" he writes back, but he knows it's too late.

Victor slumps over his laptop, face buried in his arms as he groans, cheeks burning as if he had just stuck his whole head in the oven. When his phone dings, he has to force himself to read the message on the screen.

"It's fine lol nbd ? thx tho? "

Smacking himself in the forehead, Victor can't make his body release the tension. He leaves the soup to simmer on the lowest possible temperature before shutting off the rice and straining the noodles. Then he wanders down the corridor and strips his clothes off before taking a quick shower and finally brushing his teeth, leaving the bathroom feeling refreshed and not like he'd spent the last uncountable number of days in the library. When he returns to the kitchen, nothing is on fire, but the smell of vegetables mingling together wafts through the air, yet Victor still feels the sensation of being chased by the blood in his own veins. Even as he sits down to read his notes, he can't focus anymore.

Once the soup has cooked long enough to draw out all the nutrients from the vegetables within, Victor shuts off the stove, tasting it one more time and sighing; it's even better than it was before. He ladles the broth into a few jars and packs the rice and noodles into separate little tupperware containers before putting everything in a bag and tying it tightly. Then he empties his backpack and puts the bag inside carefully. He grabs his keys and phone before sliding into his jacket and shoes, then exits his dorm.

Humming along to the song playing in his ears,—"Crazy in Love" by Beyonce—Victor makes his way across campus. The sun has hidden behind the clouds in the blue sky, and Victor shoves his hands into his pockets, the air frigid against his fingers and his exhausted, weathered face.

He approaches the red brick building, staring at the door and frowning when he realizes he can't enter. Sighing out a puff of clouds from his lips, he peeks in through the window and watches as someone exits, before catching the handle right before it slammed shut and sneaking inside. He removes his headphones as he rummages around in his memory, finally figuring out the route to Benji's room.

Benji lives all the way at the end of the long hallway, and Victor stands outside, opening up his backpack and removing the bag of soup from within. He swallows, heart hammering, incessant and dull, and knocks.

"Who is it?" says the voice from the other side of the door.

"It's Victor," he says.

"Gimme a minute," Benji says.

From outside the door, Victor can hear scrambling and a gentle pitter patter that nears the door only to stop and move away. Raising an eyebrow, Victor waits in silence until Benji finally opens the door after a few minutes, dressed in a loose white crop top and black shorts, hair perfectly styled just well enough to distract from the sunkenness of his eyes and the gauntness of his cheeks. Victor's eyes drift to his midriff before returning to his face, and he can't stop the racing of his thoughts.

"Hey," Benji says, nose blocked and distorting his voice. He holds his hand out in front of him. "Don't come too close, I don't want you to get sick from me," he adds, turning away so he can cough into his elbow.

"Hey…" Victor says, resisting with all his might the urge to reach out and stroke Benji's cheek before wrapping him in a soft blanket and putting him to bed. "You didn't have to get all done up for me, you know."

"I know," Benji bristles, shrugging. "I did it for myself."

Victor nods, but he doesn't believe it. Benji sniffles and sighs, leaning against the door from a distance. "Sorry. I didn't mean to like… have an attitude. I know you're just being your typical kind self..."

"Oh uh… thanks. But it's fine. I get it… Anyway, I uh… brought you some soup. But please be careful, it's still very hot," Victor says, holding the bag out to Benji for him to take. "I wasn't sure if you liked it with rice or noodles so I made both. And it's all vegan, of course."

Benji stares at him, taking the bag in his hand without looking at it, eyebrows rising on his forehead. "Thank you…" he says quietly, as if speaking any louder would make both Victor and the soup disappear. He sets it down on the desk behind him. When he turns back to Victor, his eyes are glassy, eyelids unable to hold the weight accumulated upon them.

"Don't mention it. I figured it might help you get better. And I—wait, Benji, are you okay?" Victor says.

Wiping the falling tears with the back of his hand, Benji sniffles again. "You really didn't have to do this, Victor. Especially since you have finals to study for."

"I wanted to," Victor says, waving his hands in front of him in surrender. "Plus, it didn't even take that long. I was mostly just watching it cook while I studied," Victor lies.

For a moment, Benji is quiet, and Victor wants nothing more than to hold him to his chest and stroke his hair as he cries but he respects his space and stays away as if repelled by the same pole of another magnet.

"This is probably one of the nicest things anyone's ever done for me," Benji says, beaming despite his tears. "God, I'm a mess… Being sick just turned me into a baby, I guess," he adds with a watery chuckle, using the bottom of his shirt to dab at the corners of his eyes.

Victor chuckles with him, lip curling up on one side as his ribs clench, little wings tickling the inside of his stomach. "I should probably let you get back to bed so you can keep resting, you must be tired. You look like you haven't slept much."

When Benji's eyes flutter closed, he nods. "Good plan." He feels his forehead with the back of his hand. "This stupid fever has been keeping me awake."

"That sucks," Victor says, lines appearing on his forehead as he watches him, concerned.

"Yeah but… I'll be fine. Thanks, though. For the soup. And for checking up on me. I appreciate it."

With a crooked smile, Victor nods. "No problem. I'm gonna get going now. But… get better soon and good luck on your finals. Also, enjoy the soup. I promise you, I didn't poison it," Victor says with a short laugh, gaze lingering on Benji's face for a moment as he waves. "See ya."

"Bye, Victor."

Benji closes the door slowly and the last thing Victor sees is one of Benji's golden eyes peering back at him through the receding crack, before he disappears, leaving Victor standing in the hall, alone again. He returns to his dorm in silence, grinning all the way there.

A few days later, Victor gets a message from Benji, saying:

"Thanks for the soup? ﾟﾥﾣ it was really delicious and I feel so much better now? Wanna come over to my place after your final so I can thank you properly?￢ﾀﾝ

—-

Benji lies in bed under the covers, his bare skin sliding against the surface uncomfortably as gooseflesh sprouts where the air hits it and he shivers in wait. He has his phone hovering over his face as he types a message, thumbs moving over the keys expertly. Even though the semester ends tomorrow, he isn't looking forward to going back home. He sighs.

"What's w you and Mia? I want more details?" Lake had written, eliciting one of the most dramatic eye rolls Benji could muster in response.

"I think she's jealous because she's not my priority anymore. She said I wouldn't have friends I didn't sleep with if it weren't for her but it's whatever?" Benji writes in response.

"Don't be passive aggressive with me Benjamin?￢ﾀﾝ she writes back almost instantly.

"That is pretty mean tho I will say. I would be proud of her if you weren't also my friend tbh?￢ﾀﾝ she adds.

"I'm not being passive aggressive. I'm just saying I don't care anymore?￢ﾀﾝ

"You obviously do care?￢ﾀﾝ

"Nuh uh"

"Yuh huh"

"Nuh uh"

"K well I'm done w this convo bc we aren't getting anywhere?￢ﾀﾝ

"Wait fine I do care a little? And I may have told her something along the lines of 'your art looks like lawn ornaments' which… wasn't one of my proudest moments?￢ﾀﾝ

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT TO HER!"

"I know… like I said NOT proud of it?￢ﾀﾝ

"I'm joking? I've roasted her much worse than that ur too nice to do any real damage smdh"

"Uh ok good to know I guess"

"But for real lemme talk to her bc smth isn't adding up"

"She was on my case abt Vic for a while as well bc she said I was 'getting too close' to him which is… hilarious isn't it?￢ﾀﾝ

There's a pause on Lake's end, and Benji waits for the ellipses to appear for a few minutes before they finally do; he narrows his eyes.

"Ya lol haha idk what she's talking about you two aren't close at all?￢ﾀﾝ

"You're being weird?￢ﾀﾝ

As soon as Benji sends that message, a knock startles him and he sets his phone aside, then sheds his blanket, rising and jogging over to see who's there, smirking as the air hits his flesh and he opens the door, leaning against the wall seductively. He lets his head fall back against the hard surface as Victor ogles him, gaze trailing from his face down his legs and back to his face again.

"Hey there, good lookin', like what you see?" Benji asks, pushing himself off the wall and grabbing Victor by the front of the jacket as he pulls him into the room and slams the door behind him.

"Uh, hi. I wasn't expecting to see… all of this right away," Victor says, gesturing vaguely at Benji's middle as he allows the other to lead him further into his abode.

Benji chuckles as he unbuttons Victor's jacket and slides it off his shoulders before draping it across the back of the chair at his desk. "I figured I'd surprise you. You're finally a free man, Victor."

"How did your week go?"

"Well, unsurprisingly, my figure drawing professor and my painting professor loved everything I submitted and I got all As on that stuff which I was kinda expecting. But I have to wait a bit for the grades on my essays which… I'm not really looking forward to. How 'bout you? Good you don't have anymore exams to worry about… especially that stupid orgo stuff."

"God don't even remind me," Victor says, dragging his hand down his face as Benji pushes him onto the bed and fumbles with his belt.

"Okay, fine. No more shop talk," Benji says, undoing Victor's pants and dropping to his knees as he pulls Victor's cock out and grins as he strokes it.

"I'm excited to go back home and just do nothing at home for a few weeks, though. But I probably won't know what to do with myself," Victor says, running his hands through Benji's hair and gazing down at him.

"Damn… I wish I was excited to see my family but I'm trying to put off going home as long as possible," Benji says, exhaling loudly as Victor's dick gets progressively more erect in his hand.

"Why?"

"I… don't really wanna talk about it, honestly," Benji says, frowning, before he adds: "I really just wanna suck your dick right now and not think about my family because that's… a little weird."

"That's fair," Victor says with a chuckle, as Benji takes him into his hot, wet mouth. "Mmm…"

Benji grins around Victor's cock as he sucks on the head, humming as he licks along the side and Victor's grip in his hair gets progressively tighter until he can feel the skin on his face pulled taut. He chuckles as he relaxes his throat, gagging nonetheless as Victor shoves him down on his cock with a moan and holds him there for a few moments, just as he likes it, until he releases him. Benji slips a hand up Victor's shirt as he sucks on him, feeling the lean muscles of his chest and delighting in the way Victor bucks forward into his face from the added stimulation.

Victor pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it behind him before reaching down to rub against Benji's shoulder blades, the touch encouraging Benji as he bobs his head faster on Victor's cock, throat slick and eyes tearing from the sensation of Victor's girth filling him up. But even though Benji isn't ill anymore, he knows his throat is going to hurt for a whole other reason tomorrow, but he doesn't even care, because his eyes are rolling into the back of his skull as Victor caresses Benji's face and it makes him want to shove Victor's cock even farther back into his throat even though he knows it won't go back anymore.

When Victor finally pulls Benji off him, kissing his cheek gently, he removes the rest of his clothes and sits against the wall, motioning for Benji to join him on the bed. Benji can only smile as he brings the condoms and lube from his nightstand and sets them beside Victor, before he crawls over to his lap.

"Can we try something a little different this time?" Benji asks, voice hoarse.

"Sure, what were you thinking?" Victor asks, curious.

"Well… I know I'm usually pretty adamant about you not looking at me while we have sex, but… Is it bad that I wanna try?"

"Why not? You know I don't mind, I like the view," Victor says with a sly grin.

"You're so fucking easy," Benji says with a roll of his eyes, but his words hold no bite.

"I'm a simple man. All you need is a cute face and a nice ass," Victor says, punctuating his statement with a smack to Benji's behind. "But the fact that you're funny and charming also gives you like a million more points in my book."

Benji covers his face in his hand, the aggressive wisps in his chest almost overwhelming him. He shoves Victor playfully before he straddles his lap, knees sore even as he rests them on the soft, plush sheets of the bed. He sighs as Victor kisses down his chest while he lubes up his fingers before reaching behind Benji and sliding inside his hole as Victor takes one of Benji's nipples in his mouth, biting down gently and making him moan as Victor adds another finger and stretches him slowly, taking his time as usual. Benji gazes down at him, mouth hanging open as he watches Victor's lips on his skin, shivering at the sensation of Victor touching him all over, every nerve ending like a little tiny pinpoint of an explosion on his epidermis.

And when Victor glides lower, taking Benji;s erection into his mouth and adding another finger to stretch Benji's hole even more, massaging that spot inside him that makes him shudder like mad. Benji can't stop himself from sliding both hands through Victor's short hair as if he were trying to pull fistfuls of grass from the earth.

Victor pulls away for a moment, reaching beside him and unwrapping the condom before rolling it down his stiff cock and slathering it with lube. He wraps his arms around Benji's waist gently, allowing Benji to guide himself to Victor's dick; he slides down it slowly, sinking back down to Victor's lap as he adjusts to having Victor inside him, pulse like an asteroid breaking Earth's atmosphere and shattering into pieces before raining down to the ground at inhuman speeds. Benji falls against Victor's chest, arms snaking around his back as he buries his face in Victor's hair, the scent of Victor's deep musk heightening his arousal even further. He lets his eyelids flutter closed as he thrusts his hips up until the tip of Victor's cock almost falls out of him, before he slams his himself back down, hitting his prostate almost directly and making his whole body rack with shudders.

Barely able to breathe as he rocks his hips against Victor's cock, Benji can't help but dig his nails into the skin of Victor's sweaty back, knowing he'll leave long segments behind but not caring because Victor's dick inside him always drives him absolutely fucking feral. He can't even stop himself from crying out when Victor holds his sides and plunges deeper into Benji in time with his downward thrusts, falling into a pleasurable rhythm as he hits that spot inside him again and again.

As Victor's thrusts become more erratic, and they cling to each other even harder with each movement, Benji finds his hand grasping at Victor's neck as he looks down at him, barely able to keep his eyes open in the process. His body feels even hotter now as he presses down on the sides of Victor's throat, his own orgasm building, and he covers Victor's lips with his own, swallowing the moan that leaps from Victor's throat as he cums. He'd always wondered what Victor's mouth tastes like.

The sensation of Victor's tongue against his own, the taste of himself mingling with the unique sweet essence of Victor, the fact that Victor is kissing him back and making him feel safe and protected in his arms, pushes Benji over the edge, and he can only take back his original assessment because he actually does cum harder than he ever had in his life, shaking so hard and seeing white and wondering if he's having some sort of reaction just as Victor pulls away. But Benji can't stop the moans that drop from his mouth as he clenches every muscle in his body before he finally comes down from the high, feeling sweaty and sticky and forgetting how he needs to breathe.

"Why did you kiss me?" Victor asks, snapping Benji back to reality instantly. He can't tell what's in his voice, but the flat tone scares him.

Benji presses his lips together into a line, unable to look him in the eye as he sits before him, swallowing before he says: "I… don't know. I'm sorry."

"We had an agreement, Benji."

"I know," Benji says quietly, face scrunching as he can feel the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes again, but he knows he can't let them fall. He already knows what he has to do. "I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry."

"Okay… Don't let it happen again," Victor says with a sigh, exhaustion written on his face.

For a moment, no words go exchanged between them as Benji sits on Victor's lap, chewing on his swollen lips. But then he removes himself from Victor entirely, kneeling beside him and taking a deep breath.

"We need to end this, Victor," Benji says, voice cracking even though he wills it not to.

"What do you mean? Why?" Victor asks, reaching out and cupping Benji's face for a second before the other pulls out of his grip.

"I mean what I said. It's over. I just… don't wanna see you again."

Victor says nothing as he gets up from the bed, but Benji can't even bear to look at him as he gathers his things and dresses himself again. Benji wishes he would stop moving at such a glacial pace. But when Victor doesn't even argue as he puts on his jacket and says a hollow "goodbye", Benji looks up just in time to see the glint of light shining off Victor's bronze cheeks as he leaves. The only explanation he has is that his mind is playing tricks on him.

As soon as the door falls shut, Benji collapses into his own lap as if every bone in his body is shattered, head in his hands as the tears cascade from his ducts, an endless sea pouring down his face as he wails, knowing that no one around him will care to hear him.

He draws the covers around him, cocooning himself as he cries, never able to reach catharsis, until he hears the door click open. But he doesn't even bother to hide as Andrew enters and drops his bag on the floor, concern etched with deep lines into his brown face.

"Whoa, Benji, what the hell happened to you?" Andrew says, sitting down beside him.

Benji immediately quiets, whimpering pathetically as Andrew wraps an arm around his shoulder. He wipes his face in the cover, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"I ended things with Victor," Benji says, voice just barely above a whisper, hoarse with overuse. He doesn't know how long he'd been weeping.

"Oh, shit. Sorry to hear that, man," Andrew says, rubbing circles on his back. "There'll be other better guys out there who're… good at sex stuff. You'll find 'em."

Burying his face in his hands, Benji's whimpers again as his eyes dribble some more tears, and he wipes them away with a deep frown, eyebrows pressing together. "I wish you were right."

Andrew sighs. "I know it's tough right now, but in a few days you'll forget all about what's-his-name and get on with your life. Trust me."

Raising his gaze from his lap to Andrew's face, Benji leans in, letting their faces connect.

And Andrew shoves him away, gentle but firm. "No, Benji. We're not doing this again. I have a partner who I love very much, and I'm not gonna mess that up because you don't know how to act when you're upset," he says, but there is no malice in his voice, only a tinge of annoyance.

"I'm sorry…" Benji says, taking a deep, shaky breath before he can start crying for a third time. "I'm so sorry I just… I don't know what to do. I like him so much and I just… threw it all away. Because I couldn't stop myself from kissing him. I feel so fucking stupid."

"Why don't you just talk to him about it?" Andrew asks, but Benji groans.

"It's… not that simple."

"Well, why not?"

"Because it was never supposed to go this far," Benji says, letting his head hang. "And now I lost a friend. A really fucking good friend who's also a really decent human being."

"Okay, that's fair. Salazar is… pretty good. But you still have other friends, right?"

"Yeah… I guess you're right…" Benji says, although he isn't fully convinced. "And thanks for listening. Also, sorry for kissing you. I need to stop being so fucking messy."

"No problem. I get it, I'm irresistible," Andrew says, ruffling Benji's hair before he gets up from Benji's bed. "Get some sleep, Campbell."

"G'night, Andrew," Benji says, curling up into a ball under the sheets and closing his eyes.

But no matter how hard he tries, sleep never comes. The only thing that greets him is Victor's tear-stained face and the sensation of his own heart ripping and shattering over and over again until the morning light shines in through the curtains.