It's the afternoon on Valentine's Day, but Benji didn't think he would spend it sitting on the bleachers, checking the time every three minutes and watching a bunch of tall, sweaty jocks running back and forth across the basketball court in preparation for their upcoming game against Texas State next week.
The sound of rubber squeaking against polished wood and shouting and whistling and the repeated thumping of the ball against the floor are all lost on Benji as he lip syncs along quietly to the words of Britney Spears's "Oops I Did It Again", the pop-y vocals and explosive instrumentals causing the wave of nostalgia to crash over him. He doesn't normally go out of his way to listen to pop music, but he won't complain about a childhood classic, especially when it drowns out the din of sports that grates on his nerves.
Leaning over where his crossed legs balance a long sketchbook, Benji forces a smile as he fills in the shading on a picture he'd drawn of the familiar face of Victor, capturing the piercing, determined expression in his dark eyes as he stands before one of his teammates, hunched over slightly with his hands outstretched as he tries to block the momentum of an opposing player.
He looks up just in time to see Victor meet his gaze and raise a palm in greeting at him. Benji can't stop himself from returning the gesture, waving a bit too wildly like a shrub in the wind and not caring that he's the only one in the audience and also the only one making a complete fool of himself.
A few seconds pass and the coach whistles from the sidelines, indicating that it's time for them to have a break. Shaking his pencil back and forth, Benji chews on his lip.
Benji tucks a stray lock of hair behind his ear as he watches Victor jog up the bleachers to where he's sitting. He pulls out his earbuds and reaches into the bag beside him to produce a bottle of water, handing it to Victor as he approaches.
"Thanks, babe," Victor says, breathless and heaving, as he takes it, popping the cap open and downing it so quickly that he doesn't even react as some of it drips from the corner of his mouth.
"Whoa, slow down, I'm not gonna take it from you," Benji says with a chuckle.
After drinking half the bottle in the blink of an eye, Victor closes it tightly before setting it down on the bleacher beside him, exhaling loudly as he tries to level his breathing.
"You know," he says, taking another deep gulp of air, "ever since I stopped drinking Gatorade and Red Bull and started drinking this… lemon-ginger-lime-coconut concoction you made, I feel… healthier. It's actually pretty good and… refreshing… Like what I imagine a piña colada tastes like."
"I told you I did my reading; I just want you to be healthy," Benji says, smug. "But it's completely different from a piña colada."
"Oh, okay. I mean, it's tasty, is all I'm getting at. You were right."
"I love hearing those three magic words from you…" Benji says wistfully, stretching his arms out wide with a smile to match.
Victor takes another swig of water and holds it in his mouth as he shakes his head fondly before he swallows. "I appreciate you caring about me."
Clearing his throat and averting his gaze, Benji pauses as a pang erupts in his chest. Somehow, Victor always knows what to say to strike him right in the heart, and something about it makes him yearn for it. It's not exactly an adrenaline rush, no, but more of a quiet light that warms his insides, and listening to that soft, melodic voice that Victor only uses for him makes Benji melt every time and want to hear it again and again.
"Anyway…" Benji says softly, "you're doing really good out there. I think. But mostly because I like how you look in those shorts."
"If all you wanna do is gawk at me, I can go," Victor teases, turning dramatically on his heel as if to leave and marching a few steps down before he returns.
"Well, I can't help it that you're just really sexy when you're all… sweaty and radiating testosterone," Benji says, eyeing Victor up and down and not even bothering to conceal his lustful gaze.
He sets his hands down on the back edge of the bleachers and leans back, glancing up at Victor through his eyelashes and smirking as he makes a show of uncrossing his legs.
"That's gross. But thanks," Victor says sarcastically as he gives him a crooked smile and swipes his arm across his forehead. He rolls his eyes, knocking Benji in the knee gently with his shin. "Oops."
Benji chuckles, reaching out and taking Victor's hand in his own. "We could… disappear for a few minutes while you have your break so I can suck your dick."
Victor strokes his chin, humming as he pretends to think about it. He sits down beside Benji, letting their legs touch.
"As flattered as I am, I wanna conserve our energy for later," Victor says with a wink, a blush darkening his already exerted complexion.
"Oh, so you wanna wear me out, is that it?" Benji teases, cheeks tinging pink, too.
"Something like that…"
"You're making me even more intrigued and the suspense is killing me, you know."
"Unlike you, I can actually keep a secret."
"Okay that's not fair, that was one time, and it's not my fault you're smart—"
"Still not telling," Victor says in a sing-song voice, and Benji pouts.
"You're mean to me, you insult me, and you don't appreciate anything I do," Benji says, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away for a moment, before slitting an eye open and peeking at Victor with a smirk.
"Oh no, did I hurt the baby's feelings?" Victor asks innocently, pinching Benji's cheek.
"Ow, yeah. Fuck you," Benji says through a giggle as he shoves Victor playfully.
Shaking his head and smiling, Victor nudges Benji with his bare shoulder in return.
"What are you working on?" Victor asks, tipping his head toward the sketchbook on Benji's lap in an attempt to change the subject.
"Well, considering I came to watch my muse in action…" Benji replies, holding his charcoal sketches of Victor up for him to see. "I figured it would be a good way for me to practice something a bit more dynamic."
Victor examines the drawings, biting his lip as he takes in the images of himself reflected back to him—his own figure running across the court dribbling the ball, him standing with an arm outstretched as the ball leaves his hand for a three-point shot, how his face looks scrunched up in concentration as he shoves another player out of his way, and various other stills of him in the throes of the game.
"Wow, these are awesome," Victor breathes, beaming as he looks to Benji, the pride all but dripping out of him with the beads dotting his face. "You make me look so much cooler than I actually am."
"No way, you're giving me a lot to work with," Benji replies, suddenly bashful. "But thank you. I really appreciate that."
Benji giggles, a high-pitched and nervous sound, taking Victor's chin between his fingers and pulling their faces together. He doesn't even mind the sensation of Victor's sweat on his skin and instead revels in it as Victor presses a hand to his lower back and draws him closer.
The sharp whistle that shrieks through the air cuts their embrace short and Victor pulls away with a pout, cupping Benji's cheek for a moment before pressing a quick kiss to his forehead. And before Benji can say anything else, Victor is blowing him a kiss and leaping down from the bleachers back onto the court.
Grumbling, Benji sets his drawings on the seat beside him and stands up, shaking his legs out and bending back to pop his spine as he watches Victor and his team go back to playing as they had before.
He'd tried paying attention when Victor had explained the rules, but as much as Benji enjoys observation, when it comes to sports, he feels like a lost cause. And there's only so many drawings of Victor he can do in a day before his hand cramps.
The stench of overheated and overworked bodies, coupled with the noise, is beginning to overstimulate him, the crackling of energy in his brain becoming louder and more pronounced. He doesn't know how he'll manage this times a thousand once the game happens; he contemplates lying about an assignment, but as he sits back down, crossing his legs again and leaning forward with his elbow on his knee and his head in his hand, honing in on Victor's impeccable, god-like form as he sprints across the floor, Benji realizes he should count himself lucky, that whatever deity is out there watching over him has finally smiled on him, casting him in gold and telling him that yes, he deserves some good things in his life, too.
Watching for a few moments longer, Benji groans as he stands up again, wishing the urge to rip his hair out of his head would pass but knowing it won't. He treks down from the bleachers with his hands in his pockets, shoving his earbuds back into place and slipping out of the gym into the afternoon air, inhaling the fresh scent of nothing and instantly becoming awash with relief.
Benji leans against the wall as the opening bars of "Toxic" by Britney Spears begin to play and he unconsciously shimmies his shoulders along to the melody as he stares off into the blue, cloudless sky, foot tapping.
He stays like this for an indeterminate amount of time, the songs in his ears blending together and passing without him even noticing; he blinks, and he's at the end of his playlist.
A tap on his shoulder startles him from his reverie, and when his head whips to the side toward Victor's gently smiling visage, Benji doesn't know if he wants to return the expression or burst into tears; the corners of his eyes sting regardless. He pulls his headphones out.
"Hey," Victor says, holding out Benji's sketchbook to him with both hands, as if it were made of glass that would break with so much as a breath or gust of wind. "Are you okay?" he asks.
"Oh, god, I didn't even realize what time it was, I'm so sorry," Benji says quickly, taking the book from Victor. "I should go get my bag, I—"
"I have it right here, don't worry," Victor says, pointing to his shoulder as he smoothes back his freshly washed hair.
"Thanks…" Benji says, hesitating before he continues. "Are you… mad that I ran out of there?" he asks, fiddling with the corners of the pages for a moment and refusing to make eye contact before he reaches for his bag.
Victor passes Benji his bag before dropping his own in the grass and unzipping his jacket; underneath, he's wearing a green hoodie. He plops down and crosses his legs before laying his jacket out in a layer over the grass, then pats it. "Sit," he says gently.
Benji rubs his eye as he does what Victor asks. He draws his knees to his chest and finally looks Victor in the eye; his expression is soft, and he's gazing at Benji with so much adoration glowing from him like a candle peering at him from the windowsill that Benji knows if VIctor keeps it up, he'll break and blow it out.
"Look… I'm not mad," Victor says, taking both of Benji's hands in his own, flesh like silken pillows as he cradles Benji the same way one would a newborn kitten. "You must have been overwhelmed," he says, a statement, objective.
Exhaling relief, Benji scoots closer to Victor, leaning against him, and Victor instinctively wraps an arm around his shoulders.
"Yeah, it's just… a lot. Like, I really want to come and support you at your games and stuff but… I don't really know what's going on most of the time."
"I get it. I know sports aren't really your thing, and that's okay," Victor says, caressing Benji's arm soothingly. "I don't want you to feel obligated to come to practice or my games if you don't want to."
"You're just saying that."
"No, baby, listen," Victor says, voice suddenly stern. "I appreciate the thought. And it can get hella chaotic and I know you have other stuff going on. Like, this is definitely not for everyone."
That familiar sensation—a deep, stinging slice across his chest—makes Benji bury his face in his knees.
"Why are you literally so perfect and understanding? You do realize this isn't helping me feel better, right?" Benji says, eyes pricking.
"What can I do to actually help, then?" Victor asks, kissing him gently on the hair.
Benji knows he wants to spiral into that black hole of despair, to tell Victor that he's done nothing to deserve this unconditional affection and understanding he's given him, that Victor is giving into him far too easily, that he should be angry at him for this one of many character flaws he has, because if he puts his hand in a hat, nine times out of ten he knows more vices than virtues will come out.
But the words from Mia that have echoed against the slate of his mind for a week come back to him. Just let yourself be loved, dammit.
He takes a deep breath, holds it, then exhales slowly after a few seconds, then repeats the process, all while Victor holds him and doesn't even make a movement to let him go.
"I feel like you just went through a whole face journey in these last… thirty seconds," Victor says, amusement coloring his tone as he watches Benji expectantly.
"Okay, well… I kinda did, first of all," Benji muses, wiping his eyes in his sleeves as he sniffles. "But I guess I was feeling bad about this whole thing because I do wanna be supportive, because you're just… so wonderful and you deserve it and you're also so supportive of my stuff even if you don't really get it, either."
"I understand," Victor says with a nod. "And I guess… me saying not to worry about it might seem disingenuous and… I think the fact that you're getting so worked up about it says a lot. About you, for the record."
"What do you mean?"
"You feeling guilty about this whole thing is actually… really sweet. Like, I hate that you're beating yourself up over it, but also, if you weren't at least a little bit empathetic, you probably wouldn't even care."
"Dammit, you're making me sound like a sap."
Victor chuckles. "But also, like… I don't want you to feel guilty, even though I know I can't control how you feel."
Benji chews on his lip, tracing his fingertips over Victor's knuckles where his hand rests on his knee. "Maybe I should bring Lake or Fee along with me, then," he says after a moment of further thought.
"That's a good idea. Fee comes to games sometimes, to support Andrew, but they definitely don't come to every single one. And if you want, we can compromise a bit, for your own conscience's sake. Because I'm being honest when I say that I don't want to pressure you but I know that's a bit of a different story in practice."
"Okay, that's actually kinda a relief…" Benji says with a nod as his mouth curls into a smile. "So like, every other game, maybe?"
"Yeah, if that works for you, then it works for me," Victor says decisively. "I don't want you to be more stressed out about his whole thing than you need to be. And also like… just fyi, you don't need to show up at my games for me to know you support me. Just having you by my side, figuratively speaking, is enough."
"You're gonna make me cry, Victor Salazar," Benji says, before pulling Victor down into a watery kiss as Victor grins against his lips, pulling Benji onto his lap and holding him close.
"It's gonna be okay," Victor says, pressing his forehead against Benji's, their noses almost brushing like two branches from trees split apart by a ravine.
"I know," Benji says with a sigh.
They sit like that for a long moment, listening to the wind curl around them as distant voices chatter inaudibly, shrinking away from them. The sky has grown orange and pink and the cold of mid-February chips away at their bones; even their combined body heat will not keep them insulated for long.
"Did you wanna go to my place so we can get the Valentine's Day festivities started?" Victor asks, breaking the silence that had fallen between them.
"Uh, yeah. Sure. I'm excited," Benji says, voice full of vigor once again. "Can we stop at my place real quick first? I need to grab something."
"Of course," Victor says, unlatching himself from Benji and pushing himself up to a standing position.
He holds a hand outstretched for Benji, hoisting him from atop his jacket.
"Thank you," Benji says with a sheepish smile.
He scrambles to pick up the fabric, shaking out the grass from it with aggressive movements, picking off the blades that hadn't detached with surgical precision before he holds the jacket up for Victor to shove his arms through.
"Thanks," Victor says, shrugging into his jacket and zipping it back up before grabbing their bags and offering his elbow to Benji.
Kissing Victor's cheek, he loops both arms around Victor's bicep and they make their way through the lightly wooded area toward Benji's dorm.
"Actually…" Benji says after they'd walked a few feet. "I wanna try something…"
Victor hums, curious, as Benji unfurls his arms from him and instead slides his fingers down the back of his forearm, nestling his hand snugly inside Victor's much larger one and lacing their digits together like the stitches of a crocheted scarf.
"How does that feel?" Victor asks, a twinkle in his eye.
Benji covers his face with his other hand to hide his grin and flushed cheeks. "It definitely feels… like this is how it should be."
"Wait… you're blushing," Victor says with a giggle.
"Shut up, it's my first time actually holding hands in public, okay?"
"Oh… so I just took your hand-holding virginity," Victor teases.
"I guess you did," Benji replies, wistful. "I don't even know who I am anymore," he mutters to himself.
"Huh?"
"It's just funny that you've literally put your dick in me a bunch of times but the hand holding is what gets me."
"Well, I think it's adorable, so there," Victor says as-a-matter-of-factly.
"Thanks…"
Benji can't find it in him to make a snarky remark; all he can do is smile and watch the way the dwindling sun kisses Victor's features—the way he looks like a god and a man all at once—but he's all Benji's nonetheless. The fluttering in his stomach almost overwhelms him, almost paralyzes him, but he doesn't let it; instead, he simply lets himself feel as the light dissipates from view entirely.
—
"Seriously, I can't believe you picked me all these flowers, that's so cute and gay," Victor says, cradling against his chest the bouquet of red and purple and white wildflowers Benji had given him as he unlocks the door to his dorm.
"Did you not hear the 'no homo' that accompanied the gift?" Benji teases. "Obviously we're just two bros being dudes."
Victor chuckles quietly as he pushes the door open and motions for Benji to enter.
"Want something to drink?"
"Oh, no, is it too soon, did I ruin the mood?" Benji says, cringing as he removes his shoes. "And I know where the sink is at this point, but thanks."
"No, it's not that. I thought your joke was pretty funny, but… I'm gonna need to set everything up first because I didn't get a chance, since it was, uh… a fire hazard."
Benji raises an eyebrow, amused smirk playing at his lips. "Are we gonna commit arson? I'm kinda down."
"Nope, but I'm still not telling you the surprise."
Shaking his head, Victor takes a tall jar from the cabinet and fills it with frigid water before arranging the bouquet inside it and setting it on the windowsill.
"Should I cover my eyes or are you gonna blindfold me?" Benji says with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
Opening and closing his mouth quickly, Victor pauses for a moment, face reddening, before he holds up a finger. "I'll be right back," he chokes out, before he slips down the corridor into his room.
Victor pulls open the top drawer of his wardrobe and digs around before his skin connects with smooth fabric and he whispers a victorious "Yesss" under his breath before plucking out a black sash.
He returns a moment later, presenting the long strip of cloth to Benji, whose lip curls up immediately at the sight as he leans across the table, canines appearing more pointed than usual.
"Since you suggested it so nicely... may I blindfold you?" Victor asks, sliding into the spot beside Benji on the bench.
"Since you asked so nicely… yes, please."
Victor sighs, wiping his hands on the top of his pants and watching as Benji turns slightly and brushes his fringe away before casting a sidelong glance in his direction. With shaky arms, Victor encircles Benji's eyes with the slip of fabric, tying it just tightly enough to block the light but not enough that it would hurt; Benji simply allows it, humming.
"Is that fine? Not too tight?" Victor asks, heart racing like a comet in his rib cage, touching down in the pit of his stomach and bursting in a cosmic explosion.
"Mhm, it's good. I can still kinda see, though…" Benji replies, pulling the blindfold down a bit before leaning back against the bench, letting his head rest on top of the windowsill. "There we go. I'm completely at your mercy now."
Biting his lip, Victor smiles, cupping Benji's cheek and swiping his thumb across it before rising from his seat. "I'm gonna be in my room so just shout if you need me."
"I'll be here," Benji muses, draping his arms across the bench. "This is actually kinda nice. Like, no thoughts, head empty… I'm literally just vibing."
"Glad you think so," Victor says with a chuckle. "Wanna listen to some music?"
"Yeah. I've been really feeling Britney lately and I have no idea why."
"Always a good choice," Victor says, scrolling through Spotify and choosing "Lucky" from the list. The opening percussion and light melody segues into an upbeat song with the typical fixings of late 90s/early 2000s pop; Victor begins dancing instinctively.
"I feel like I'm being called out," Benji says.
"That was unintentional; I just really like this song," Victor says as he pads down the hallway to his room. "Going now."
"I know we're not supposed to be jealous of Lucky but I always was, aside from the crying and being lonely part, even though that was… relatable."
"Oh yeah?" Victor says, taking out the lighter from his nightstand drawer and picking up one of the bergamot and vanilla scented candles from his desk and lighting it.
"It's kinda embarrassing, I know."
"No it's… really sweet," Victor says, lighting another candle, this one smelling of warm sweet spices.
They chat across the hallway as Victor goes around lighting the candles he'd arranged all over every surface of his room—his desk, his nightstand, his windowsill—and the sweet and citrusy and clove-y and cinnamon smells waft through the dorm into the kitchen. He pops into the bathroom in the meanwhile and runs the bath with hot water, fragrant and citrusy oils, and of course, bubbles.
"Okay, wait, now I understand why you were asking me all those questions about my favorite things," Benji says, and Victor can hear the grin in his voice. "I should have known it had nothing to do with our zodiac signs…"
Victor chuckles as he pulls out a bottle of gently scented lavender massage oil from under his bed and sets it down on the nightstand, before he goes to his closet and takes out a few thick, soft towels. He sets them atop his freshly made bed with crisp and clean light green sheets
When he's pleased with his handiwork, examining it with his hands on his hips and feeling heroic, Victor strips all his clothes from his form. He then reaches into his closet and removes a fluffy, white robe, wrapping it around his form and imagining that this must be what a lamb feels like on a regular basis, before he pulls out another identical one. Draping it over his arm, he treks across the hall to the bathroom where the interior has become misty and the scent of oils wafts through the air.
He shuts off the water quickly as the mass of bubbles jiggles precariously over the edge of the tub before him like a tower of jello that hadn't had enough time to set. Staring up at the ceiling, Victor thanks whatever deity out there that he'd arrived just in time.
"I'm back," Victor says as he re-enters the kitchen to see Benji resting his chin on his arms on the table with a smile on his face. "You're not bored already, are you?"
"Mm, nope, this is actually kinda fun," Benji says, sitting up straight. "I'm already kinda relaxed from all the… aromatherapy?"
"Close, but not exactly there," Victor says with a grin, as he changes the playlist to one with soft flute music.
"Dang it," Benji mutters. "So what now?"
"Well… I have a robe for you, and you can put it on yourself, or I can do it for you…"
"You know I like it when I'm at your mercy," Benji says dramatically, draping his wrist across his forehead.
"All right, fine. C'mere," Victor says, taking Benji's hand in his own and gently pulling him to his feet. "Wait, lemme close the curtains…"
"No need," Benji says as he stands in the middle of the kitchen, sly smile on his lips. "Just hurry up and take my clothes off."
Rolling his eyes, Victor does as Benji asks, but takes his time with peeling off his shirt and folding it before setting it down on the bench. He then moves onto Benji's pants, undoing them with tantalizing slowness, and continues onto the rest of the articles of Benji's clothing until he's left in only the blindfold, lips parted slightly as his hands dangle at his sides.
There's something about having his eyes roving over Benji's body while he stares sightlessly off into the voice that fills Victor with a deluge of sensations in the pit of his stomach. Even though Benji is trusting and pliant at his touch and lapping up the attention like an overwatered gardenia, Benji's ignorance to his gaze halts its flow.
"How are you feeling?" Victor asks as he cups Benji's face in his hands and peers down at him, neck craned.
"Scandalous."
"Is that… a good thing?"
"Yes… a very good thing, actually."
"Oh, uh… cool," Victor says, voice cracking.
Benji frowns. "You don't seem happy about that."
"I am, I just… I feel weird about like, eye-fucking you when you can't see anything."
Snorting, Benji shakes his head. "Well, that's... kinda the point of this little experiment. Also, I'm not sure if you're aware, but… I'm extremely turned on right now, just fyi."
Victor glances down, biting his lips as his own eyes widen. "Oh."
"Yeah. I guess I learned something about myself today. Looks like you cured me of my little… complex."
Clearing his throat, Victor can't help but smile even as his flesh ignites, a strange sense of pride filling the cavity of his chest as he allows himself to finally take in Benji's body, inch by inch.
"Can I kiss you?" Victor asks quietly, fingers trailing down Benji's jaw, careful as always.
"I'd like that very much."
He closes the gap between them, leaning down to connect their lips as Benji reaches around blindly before settling with his arms wrapped around Victor's middle and clutching at the back of his robe the way the dawn clings to the clouds.
When they part, Victor doesn't know whose grin is wider, but it doesn't matter to him. His heart leaps as he strokes Benji's hair.
"Okay, I think… we should probably hurry up before the bath gets cold and all the bubbles disappear," Victor says as he takes the robes and drapes it over Benji's shoulders with a chuckle.
"Wait, we're taking a bubble bath?" Benji says, his voice light and airy. "How did you know I liked—okay, nevermind, I get it. You're so thoughtful, babe."
"Thanks. Nothing but the best for you," Victor says as he scratches the back of his head. "I guess we won't need this anymore," he says, reaching behind Benji's head and undoing the knot holding his blindfold in place.
"Whoa, how did you do that?" Benji says sarcastically.
"Okay, that's enough," Victor says with a chuckle as he crouches behind Benji and guides him down the hallway by the shoulders. They proceed a few steps before Victor stops them in their tracks. "Wait, I think we'll have to do something about your hair…"
"What's wrong with my hair?"
"It's just… long. And it'll get in your mask."
"Ahh…"
"Yeah, no big deal…" Victor says as they resume the short walk to the bathroom.
"Shit, that's a lot of bubbles," Benji says as he unties his robe and hangs it on one of the hooks on the wall before he slips into the bath with a sigh.
Victor removes his robe, too, hanging it beside Benji's before he glances at the little glass shelf over the sink, where several of Fee's colorful hair clips lay scattered. He picks up a neon orange one along with a little glass tub of mint-green cream before he joins Benji in the tub.
Benji has already gathered all the bubbles around him and he looks up at Victor from his nest, half his face adorned with an attempt at a bubble beard.
"What do you have there?" Benji asks, motioning to Victor's hand before he cringes and wipes the bubbles off him.
"Can I clip your hair?"
Benji nods and glides over to Victor. With a soft hum, Victor gathers a little pile of Benji's fringe and clips it to the top of his head. "But neon orange? Really?" he asks.
"It was the first one I grabbed. But to be honest, you look good in any color."
"God, you're so gay. But thank you," Benji says, rolling his eyes with a fond smile on his lips. "How do I look?" he asks.
"Adorable," Victor says with a grin. "Also, I made us this like… avocado face mask thing that smells really nice," he explains, opening the green jar and presenting it to Benji. "Smell."
Bringing his face closer, Benji inhales, eyes widening as the scent of avocado and coconut permeates through the air.
"Ooo, that's awesome," Benji says.
"Yeah? Cool."
"C'mere, let me put it on you first," Benji says, scooping out a little handful and rubbing it between both hands.
"O-Okay…" Victor says, closing his eyes as Benji smears the green concoction across his cheeks and forehead with nimble fingers.
"There. Very sexy," Benji says, admiring his work.
"Thanks…" Victor says. "Now it's time for your facial."
Benji smirks.
"Not that kind," Victor corrects himself.
"To be fair, semen is supposed to be good for your skin, too. Or at least, that's what I read online, anyway," Benji says with a wink.
"Okay… well, I'm making the rule that this is a G-rated facial."
Pouting, Benji crosses his arms over his chest under the water. "No fun allowed."
"Maybe if you're good I can give you the other kind later," Victor says with a sly grin of his own, cheeks warming up inadvertently.
A moment passes and Victor realizes what he's just said, panic overtaking him as Benji eyes him with a bemused expression.
"I didn't mean it like that, I just meant if you want me to—"
Benji chuckles, covering his mouth with his hand. "I know what you meant, but when you say it like that… it's really hot. Even when you look like that," he says, gesturing to Victor's face.
"Oh," Victor says, taking some of the mixture into his own hands and marveling at the slimy texture. "You actually like it when I talk to you like that?"
"Yeah, I kinda do," Benji says with a shrug as he closes his eyes.
"Huh… interesting," Victor says, applying the mask to Benji's face in turn.
"You don't always have to be super polite to me in bed, you know."
"I guess that's true," Victor says, setting the jar down on the side of the tub before he rinses his hand under the water. "But I just feel weird about it. Like, I even felt weird about it when I was hooking up with people I didn't know but saying some things to someone you really like is… hard."
"That makes sense," Benji says, sliding closer to Victor so their legs touch under the sweltering water. "I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with, of course. All I'm saying is I wouldn't be mad if you were a little mean to me, especially since you're usually so nice," he says with a mischievous grin.
"Hmm…" Victor hums, tucking a stray lock of hair behind Benji's ear. "I guess if it's just for fun…"
"It's all sorta part of the fantasy, if that makes sense. Because I know you're a good person and you wouldn't actually mean anything cruel. But like I said, I'm happy either way. Because I like having sex with you and I just really like you, in general," Benji reassures him, holding Victor's hands.
"Human sexuality is really… wild," Victor says after a moment's contemplation.
"It is, isn't it," Benji says wistfully. "We're all just a bunch of sexy clowns."
Victor laughs, nudging Benji in the shoulder as he does so, gaze softening after a moment. Benji returns the gaze, reaching out to stroke Victor's hair. He looks away, hoping Benji won't see his heart erupting from his eyes.
"We should probably wash these off," Victor says after a comfortable pause has settled over them.
"Yeah but how? This is oily as fuck."
"I may not have thought that far ahead," Victor admits as he grabs a bottle of face wash from the ledge of the tub. He offers it to Benji, squeezing a generous portion before pouring some into his own hand.
"As much as your planning abilities leave much to be desired, I still appreciate you putting this all together," Benji says, scrubbing his face with the wash.
Chuckling, Victor splashes some water on his face to rinse it. "You deserve it, mi vida."
"Wait, hold on, I wasn't ready for that," Benji says, hiding his pink face in his hands.
"For what, mi vida?" Victor teases.
"You know what I'm talking about."
Victor grins and says nothing as he kisses Benji gently on the cheek before he takes a bar of soap in his hands. They wash themselves and chat some more until their bath cools and they grow weary of sitting scrunched up like accordions in the cramped tub.
They rise and dry off before enveloping themselves in their soft robes again and making their way to Victor's room across the hall, where the candles arranged around his room flicker like fireflies in late summer. Victor sits down at the foot of the bed, stretching his legs out, as Benji hovers behind him like his shadow.
"I see why you were keeping this a secret," Benji says as he crawls across the bed toward the bottle of massage oil on the nightstand, snatching it before he returns to his spot behind Victor.
"Wait, what are you doing?" Victor asks, as Benji opens the bottle and pours a bit of oil onto his hand.
"I'm being a generous lover," Benji replies, rubbing his hands together and letting the scent of lavender waft through the air. "Plus, I don't wanna fall asleep or something before I return the favor."
"All right, fine," Victor says with a grin as he shrugs his robe off his shoulders and lets it pool around his middle.
"Perfect. You have so much tension in your shoulders, it's ridiculous," Benji mutters as he rests his hands gently on the spot between Victor's neck and shoulders. "I guess it's from carrying everyone's problems except your own."
"You're not creating a very relaxing environment, you know," Victor snaps.
"Hush," Benji whispers in Victor's ear as he squeezes Victor's trapezius muscles between his fingers gently, making Victor gasp. "Oh, you like that?" he asks.
"Yeah, fuck… do it again," Victor sighs, letting his eyelids flutter closed.
Benji hums as he repeats the motion, pressing his thumbs along the sides of the spinal column at the base of Victor's neck before gently sliding his hands across the surface of his skin and bringing the floral oil with it as the gentle woodwind music floats from the speakers.
The gentle pressing and rubbing and squeezing against his skin makes Victor's body heavier with each passing second. Benji's skillful and precise movements, coupled with the reduced friction as his calloused yet soft hands all but glide across Victor's upper back, put him in a trance, as if Benji has him under some sort of enchantment that only his fingers can break.
"Don't fall asleep on me," Benji says with a giggle, and his voice is far away from Victor's ears, somewhere outside, not in Victor's room.
His head lolls to the side and Benji's arm steadies him before he topples to the floor; Victor takes a deep, startled breath.
"Huh?"
"I probably should have had you lie down for this…" Benji says, wrapping his arms around Victor's torso, letting him lean against him for support. "You good?"
Victor blinks a few times, rubbing his eyes as he shifts in Benji's warm embrace.
"How long was I out?" Victor asks, voice muddled.
"It was just a second but… I got a little overzealous," Benji says, kissing Victor's crown.
"I've never been so relaxed, though," Victor says, glancing up at Benji with a tiny smile playing at his lips. "You give good massages."
"Thanks," Benji says, mirroring Victor's expression. "I'm ready for mine whenever you are."
Nodding, Victor pushes himself to a seated position with a grunt, stretching like a lazy cat who's just taken a nap in the sun before he stands up and ties his robe properly. He swats at Benji to get up before he unfolds one of the towels and spreads it over the sheets lengthwise, then takes another and places it widthwise.
"So I have to be naked for this," Benji says, padding across the floor and taking Victor's hand in his own.
"You don't have to be, but if you want to be…" Victor says before he swallows, fidgeting with the front of his robe with his other hand.
"Well, I know you're gonna wanna put that," Benji says, gently smacking Victor's hand with the back of his own, "in me at some point, so I'll just make both our lives easier," he says with a wink.
Victor's body all but boils when Benji says this. He stops shifting and lets his hand drop to his side as Benji takes the other and hooks it around the tie of his robe. With a smirk, Benji takes a step back; before Victor can blink, Benji's robe comes undone, falling open as he stares Victor straight in the face, golden eyes glinting.
Benji shrugs his robe off his shoulders and tosses in Victor's direction. Even in his sedated state, Victor catches it with ease and sets it over the back of his chair.
"I'm cold," Benji mutters, lying down on his stomach on the bed and covering himself with the towel, turning his head to the side and sending a wicked grin in Victor's direction.
Rolling his eyes, Victor sits down on the edge of the bed next to Benji, removing the towel and folding it so it covers Benji's bottom, leaving the rest of him exposed. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Victor squirts a few drops of oil onto his palm, rubbing it between his hands for a few seconds before he brings his appendages down to rest atop Benji's skin and slowly working the oil into his muscles.
The position is awkward and unbalanced, and what's worse, is that Benji watches him the entire time, hands tucked under his head, giggling every so often until Victor groans and climbs onto the bed, using Benji's behind as a cushion and wanting to kick himself every time his hard cock presses into Benji's ass.
"Did you maybe want the blindfold again?" Victor asks, smirking as he eyes Benji in return. "You keep staring at me and I don't know what that's all about."
"Hey, you know I only stare because you're cute," Benji says as-a-matter-of-factly. "But... that actually sounds… kinda nice."
"Okay, gimme a second…" Victor says, rising from his position and dashing down the hallway to the kitchen, thankful for the momentary distraction from the throbbing in his groin that grates at him like an electric storm.
He grabs the strip of fabric from the kitchen before returning to his room and tying it around Benji's eyes. Finally, he sets himself back in position.
Victor imagines he's not sitting on top of Benji right now, wrenching his thoughts away from the tightness that Benji provides him, instead spreading his fingers out as he pushes down into Benji's shoulder blades to loosen up something else. Benji's stare no longer distracts Victor thanks to the blindfold, and his lips hang open as tiny moans drop from his mouth each time Victor's fingertips hone in on a pressure point.
"That feels amazing," Benji breathes, wiggling beneath Victor's weight as Victor runs his fingers slowly along the length of his spine. "You can… mmm… go harder."
At this point, Benji's back is pink and slick with oil, the tension beginning to slough off of him like the leaves of an autumn tree.
"Harder, huh?" Victor murmurs into Benji's ear as he leans down and presses a kiss to the back of Benji's neck.
Benji breathe-laughs and shifts under Victor's weight again with a moan as Victor drags his hands down his back, indenting Benji's muscles with his knuckles and drawing out a low, wanton moan from Benji's throat.
"How's that?" Victor asks as his hands work with surprising deftness on Benji's flesh.
"Awesome, but you can go even harder."
"Seriously? You want me to break your back?" Victor says, trying his best to keep his tone even. "On second thought, don't answer that, I already know the answer."
Giggling breathlessly, Benji says nothing in response as Victor repeats the motion a few more times. Victor stops just shy of using all his strength, feeling oddly impressed that Benji is able to handle it as he irons out the tension completely, leaving Benji a boneless husk smelling of flowers.
Victor's digits finish their dance across Benji as they come to rest on his lower back, right above the curve of his ass. His own dick is startlingly rigid now; all that rubbing against Benji had only made the frustration burn more brightly and more maddeningly, his previously relaxed haze replaced with the haze of lust.
"Are you still with me?" Victor asks gently, smacking Benji in the cheek with the tips of his fingers.
"Yeah," Benji replies, covering his mouth with his palm as he yawns, his voice strained. "And yes, I can feel you rubbing up on me, you're not being discreet at all," he grumbles.
Clicking his tongue, Victor sighs loudly.
"Good to know…" Victor mutters. "In that case, can I go lower?" he asks.
"Yes, god, please, I can't take it anymore," Benji whines, grinding up against Victor's cock with his ass, movements desperate.
Victor holds Benji's hips still with one hand as he slips the towel off his ass, leaving him bare and exposed, a shiver running up his spine. Pressing his lips together tightly, Victor slides backward and sits between Benji's legs. He oils up his hands again before cupping both of Benji's cheeks in his palms, using a firm but gentle touch as he rubs little circles around the soft but taut flesh, the sensation of Benji's muscles tensing under his ministrations spurning him forward.
"Fuck…" Benji moans when Victor removes his hands for a moment as he fidgets and bucks down into the mattress. "Please don't leave me hanging…"
"Don't worry, I got you," Victor says, spreading Benji's cheeks and drizzling a liberal amount of oil. "I'm gonna finger you now."
"Mm… okay. Just make it quick," Benji sighs, a tinge of desperation in his voice.
Victor chuckles as he coats his middle finger in oil and slides it inside Benji's hole with little resistance, pressing a kiss to the middle of Benji's back as he slides in and out slowly, biting his lip as Benji's tight heat engulfs his digit and Benji moans softly, rocking back against him.
He slips in a second finger, amazed at how easily it enters, as if Benji's muscles had all unfurled and fallen from his body the same way the waves fall away from the shore when the tide is low. A third finger soon follows, and as Victor curls his digits inside, finding that spot that makes Benji's body shudder despite himself, he memorizes the lines of Benji's face and the colors pleasure paints it when Victor touches him.
Kissing a stripe down the middle of Benji's back, Victor oils up his cock, stroking himself slowly because he knows he's close to the edge as it is. Benji groans and gasps as he clutches at the towel and the sheets.
When Victor looks down at Benji, he remembers his words from before, and each stroke removes yet more reason from his brain. He leans down, letting his dick slide between Benji's cheeks as he places his face in the crook of Benji's neck and molds himself up against his back. What are a few words, after all? Wind.
"I'm putting it in now," Victor murmurs, planting a kiss right behind Benji's ear.
"Yes yes yes…"
Benji reaches blindly behind himself, tangling his fingers in Victor's hair and drawing their mouths together as they share a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss just as Victor slides inside Benji, sheathing himself with ease as if Benji's body wants nothing more than to join them as one, even though Victor knows it's a theoretical impossibility.
Victor grips at Benji's hip as he moves, sliding out slowly and then thrusting back inside Benji's hole, body melting at the heat of their entwined forms. He raises a hand to tug at Benji's locks, compelled by some unseen force to pull Benji's head back until he grunts, and he only realizes a few seconds later that it's not from pain at all but pleasure.
"Oh my god, fuck, harder…" Benji moans into Victor's mouth before he kisses him again and Victor pounds into him harder and deeper just as Benji asks, their oil and sweat-slick bodies gliding against each other.
"You like that, huh?" Victor asks, almost scaring himself with how low and husky his voice sounds.
"Mhm… I'm just a hole for you, sir," Benji whines, and as soon as the words leave his lips, Victor's brain short circuits.
He slides his hands over Benji's, lacing their fingers together as he pins him to the bed, using all his strength to fuck Benji into the mattress, wondering if he'll even get enough of his tiny moans of pleasure. Victor could almost feel disgusted with himself due to his reaction, but all sense of logic and morality has vacated his brain entirely, cast off into the bottom of the sea.
"God, you're such a slut—"
"Holy fuck—"
Benji's body shudders around him so violently, his muscles clench so tightly that it almost hurts when Victor thrusts one final time and cums so hard inside Benji that he loses all sense of space and time, vision black and silence deafening, and the only sensation he can feel is the pulsating in his stomach as he's wracked with an orgasm that gushes out of him along with the guilt and shame that he promptly forgets for the moment, the only thing on his mind the high that only Benji can provide.
His heart is pounding in his ears when he blinks. He swallows thickly as he pulls out of Benji slowly, the realization of what he'd done dawning on him again. A different haze suspends itself over him and all the tension Benji had not long ago pressed out of him has returned.
"Jesus, Benji, I am so fucking sorry," Victor says quickly, waving his hands in front of himself in surrender. "I didn't mean any of that, I swear."
Pulling the blindfold off his eyes, Benji raises an eyebrow as he rolls onto his back and stares up at Victor.
"What are you apologizing for?"
Victor pauses, mouth twisting to the side.
"I just called you a… you know," Victor mutters, burying his face in his hands.
"Yeah, it was fucking awesome, why are you apologizing?" Benji says with a giggle, opening and closing his hands like a lobster. "Let's cuddle."
"Do you not see the problem here?"
"The problem here is that you're not cuddling with me."
Groaning, Victor lies down next to Benji on his side, propping himself up on his elbow as he drapes his arm across Benji's middle. "I'm being serious."
"Okay, fine. Let's talk about it."
"You know I don't actually think that about you, right?"
"I know," Benji says with a giggle and a roll of his eyes.
"Like… are you sure?"
"Look… people say a lot of weird crap when they're having sex and that's honestly not one of the worst things I've ever heard. But the difference is, I know that at the end of the day, you actually respect me," Benji says with a shrug.
"Oh."
"Yeah. That's why it's hot. But also, like, if you were anyone else, it would just be mean."
Victor sighs, reaching out to stroke Benji's cheek, as Benji rests his hand over Victor's and interlaces their fingers.
"I think I mostly feel bad because I actually kinda liked it, too," Victor admits, scratching his temple. "I guess I just have to remember that it doesn't make me a bad person."
"Of course you aren't a bad person. You're like, the most respectful, least slut-shamey person I know, so you don't have to prove it to me. This is all just for fun."
"Thank you," Victor says, pressing his lips to Benji's with a soft smile.
"Well, thank you for that awesome massage," Benji says with a wink, as Victor shoves him in the shoulder with a laugh.
"So… what's on the agenda for the rest of the night," Benji asks, slithering out of Victor's bed.
"I uh… had some food set to be delivered in a few minutes so we should probably clean up and put something on. Then if you want we can just like… watch a movie and cuddle and stuff."
"That sounds super amazing," Benji says, holding out his hand to help Victor off the bed. "You haven't picked a movie yet, have you?"
"I was thinking you would pick something," Victor says with a grin.
They clean up quickly, straightening out Victor's room and blowing out the candles, then washing themselves before slipping back into their cozy robes. Victor leaves to pick up the food from the front of the building, ignoring the suspicious looks from his peers.
"Okay, so… in accordance with the information gathered from a source, your favorite dish is… drunken noodles. But I also got us some dumplings and pad thai for me, all vegan, of course, so if you wanna share, you know I don't mind," Victor announces, setting the little plastic bag packed to the brim with food in the middle of his bed.
"Lake…" Benji hisses, narrowing his eyes, before he looks up at Victor, beaming. "But seriously, thank you. This is so thoughtful."
"No problem," Victor says, reaching into the bag and pulling out a plastic carton of noodles and examining it from all angles.
"That's for me," Benji says, taking the container from Victor's hand gently and setting it on his knee. He gives Victor a peck on the lips before fishing out two pairs of chopsticks from the bag and handing one to Victor.
They sit leg to leg against Victor's headboard in comfortable silence as they both shovel food into their mouths, realizing just how hungry they are after the day's exertions. The portions are just enough food for them both, and after they finish, they lie against each other in a heap for a bit before they retreat under the sheets with Victor's laptop between them and Benji curled up into Victor's side with his knees draped over Victor's lap.
"Have you ever watched 'The Notebook'?" Benji asks, as he scrolls through Netflix on Victor's laptop.
"No, but I've been meaning to," Victor says, stroking his chin. "Although I feel like we'll both just end up crying."
"Well, when was the last time you cried?"
Victor opens his mouth to respond before closing it quickly and making a face.
"I think for me it was when we had sex like—Oh wait no, it was the day after," Victor says finally.
"That's not so bad. I think for me was when you asked me to be your boyfriend. The first time, that is," Benji says with a pointed look. "I mean, we could still stand to cry more, don't you think?"
"Yeah, I can't argue with that. Let's do it."
Benji raises a fist before he searches for the movie and presses the 'Play' button.
They spend the course of the movie cocooned in each other's embrace while entirely engrossed, their eyes glued to the screen. By the end, neither of them bother wiping away their tears, their own spent bodies too exhausted to perform even the most menial tasks.
"That was… fucking tragic," Victor says, with a sniffle. "Your movie choices always end up scarring me emotionally and psychologically in one form or the other."
"I knew it was sad but I didn't know it was like that," Benji says, finally reaching for the box of tissues and dabbing at Victor's tears before doing the same to his own.
"Yeah… I guess that's what we get for being like… all those years late to the party."
Smiling and shaking his head, Benji closes Victor's laptop and sets it on his nightstand before he slips out of bed to quickly shut off the lights before returning to bed and to Victor's warm arms in particular.
"Honestly, I had so much fun today," Benji says, peeling his robe off and tossing it aside. "Seriously. Thank you."
"I'm glad you had fun," Victor says, lips curling up in the dark. "Happy Valentine's Day slash first date."
"Yeah… Happy Valentine's Day slash first date," Benji echoes.
"I hope there are a lot more where that came from."
There's a long pause as Benji burrows into Victor's side, yawning against his neck. "Yeah."
As Victor drifts off to sleep, he tries to imagine a more perfect oasis, a place more ideal than where he's embracing Benji—Benji who trusts him more than he even trusts himself, and who teaches him more about himself than he ever thought possible. The more he ponders this, the more clearly Victor can see through the fog. Each blink washes away a layer of dust, until one day, he knows it will be clean.
Benji's breath evens and Victor tumbles into the abyss with him.