Standing just outside of Fleet Hall, overlooking the atrium, a splicer in a butterfly mask tapped her foot impatiently. Today had been going so poorly for Butterfly. First, her favorite turret got blown up and now her bolt hole had no security. After that, she found out they had changed the date and time of opening night without thinking to inform her, the Star. Then, Butterfly had made it to Fleet Hall in the nick of time, only to discover a horde of other women trying to claim her part for themselves.
The audacity! Most of them were just dull chorus girls who had gotten too big for their blouses. Fleet Hall had been seconds from becoming a Battle Royale, but Mister Cohen wasn't feeling it at that moment. Instead, he announced he would postpone the show. The competitors were instructed to stand out of sight by the atrium and wait for Cohen's cues.
Butterfly wanted to scream and stomp her feet at the unfairness. She had worked so hard to earn her dream role and her big debut had already been postponed by the war. Now it felt like she was back at auditions, needing to prove herself all over again. But it was fine. She'd done it once, and she would do it again. After all, it was Mister Cohen's right to demand nothing but the best.
At that moment, Jack was limping into the atrium. It wasn't that he felt safe, but ever since Jack had arrived in Rapture the man had become jaded by the feeling of being watched; even if he hadn't, he was too exhausted to care. In truth, he could count nearly two dozen pairs of eyes fixed on him. All Jack could do was trudge up to the 'masterpiece' and hope the universe would cut him a break for once.
Of course, it would not.
"That's three of four…" Cohen remarked cheerfully after Jack added the third photo. But before he could so much as stumble away, the artist shrieked at him. "WHAT'S THAT LOOK!?"
Jack hissed in pain as a spotlight flashed in his eyes, and he fell to the ground, blinded. He shielded his face, hoping his vision would recover in time to face Cohen's incoming tantrum. "You don't like it, do you?" the artist accused, half angry and half crying, "I don't need to be judged by you! By ANYONE!"
The eyes were glaring at Jack for his clumsy performance. Who did that guy think he was? Disrespecting Mister Cohen like that! On top of that, he wasn't even standing on his mark! From her position on the second floor, Butterfly could see a few 'cast members' start to stalk towards the hapless man. She held back, still waiting for her cue.
"SCREW YOU! Screw all you fucking doubters! Here's what I…" Cohen's rant trailed off as music overtook his words. Butterfly wondered why Mister Cohen would be bothered by music, before she realized that the music wasn't coming from the speakers; but rather, it came from within the walls right behind her. Is that my cue? Nah! Mister Cohen didn't plan this. Carefully, she approached the bronze vent. Butterfly leapt backwards when three green-lit bots flew out of the vent and descended toward the masterpiece.
The bots were carrying the source of the music. The two toon boys were dangling from their own bots and were dressed as angels, complete with white robes and false angel wings on their backs. Yakko wore Groucho glasses and played the oboe, while Wakko had placed a crooked top-hat on top of his regular hat and played the harp. As they played their music, they flanked the third bot who was dangling a gift-wrapped box.
Jack's vision had recovered in time to see the gift in front of him. He stared bemused for a second before he gingerly unwrapped the present and removed the lid. The sides of the box fell away, revealing a flower pot with a tiny green sprout.
By this time, a splicer wearing a bird mask couldn't stand to wait anymore, a feminine war cry peeling from her lips as she bore down on the man. She only ran for a few meters before the bot that had been carrying the present mercilessly shot her down. The angels cut their playing to glare at where they knew the splicers were hiding. The harp player pulled out a large sign and Groucho glasses used a baton to stress each word written.
*Tap* Wait *Tap* For *Tap* Your *Tap* Cue!
Abashed, the exposed splicers retreated back into the wings. Butterfly sneered down at her ex-rival. It serves you right, Bird-brain! You can't even follow the simplest directions.
*Tap*-*Tap*-*Tap*-*Tap*-*Tap*! There was more. Wordlessly, the sign was flipped over.
*Tap* Don't *Tap* Fall *Tap* Off *Tap* Tempo.
Once they were satisfied the message had been received, the Warner boys resumed their music. As they played, the tiny sprout in the pot grew taller and taller, forming into a massive bud. Wakko played a glissando on the harp and yellow petals slowly opened; sitting in the center was the cutest little ballerina Jack had ever seen.
Yakko and Wakko nodded to each other and hopped down to the ground, quickly changed into colorful tuxedos in a whirl of motion. Yakko pulled a vinyl record from his slacks and threw it like a discus into one of the gramophone shaped speakers. A familiar Waltz began to play, and the toons all bounced to the beat.
Butterfly gasped, That's the cue! Quickly, she floated down the stairs and skipped toward the stage, doing her best to not fall out of rhythm. A One-two-three, one-two-three, keep-in-time, don't-screw-up, why-did-I, grab-the-pipe, hate-me-lee, so-un-coor, din-a-ted.
Butterfly's inner monologue was cut off when something collided into her midsection, yelping as she was forced into a low dip. The dancer's weapon clattered to the ground as she gawked at her new dance partner. The Songbird! She was awed to have such an honor.
Cohen's Songbird wiggled his eyebrows and grinned cheekily at her. He then stretched his legs to twice their length in order to match her height and pulled her in to commence a jerky waltz. It took all of Butterfly's focus to follow the toon's erratic lead and not trip over her own feet. Why-is-he, mov-ing-so, rap-id-ly? She wondered as she was thrown into an open position. Sa-bo-tage? She was yanked back in, nah-he-isss! he lifted her horizontally, high above his head, test-ing-me, she concluded as she was dropped.
Butterfly managed to stick the landing by balancing on her big toe and Yakko couldn't help but be impressed. He glanced back at Wakko. The middle Warner had a partner with a spider themed mask and their dance basically consisted of her pretending to enjoy herself while hiding a hammer behind her back. Wakko was well aware of the hammer, but was having fun pretending he didn't. After foiling multiple attempts at bashing his head in, Wakko let Spider land a hit and his head went flying. But Spider's victorious smirk fell off her face when the decapitated body just continued to dance like nothing happened. The head bounced like a ball, circling her with a derpy smile. Other dancers who thought they could slip past stopped to gawk at the bizarre spectacle.
A bounce that landed close caused Spider to drop her hammer on her foot. She yowled in pain, hopping on one leg as Wakko reattached his head. They made eye-contact with each other for a moment, before he smashed her with an even bigger mallet.
His slapstick complete, Wakko blew raspberries at the other splicers to goad them into chasing him. As he skipped off, like he hadn't a care in the world, Wakko began decorating the floor with banana peels, marbles, skates, rakes, mousetraps, and rolling pins. He also used a canister of liquid nitrogen to freeze any leaking water he could find. Before long, what had started as an orderly if very angry line of dancers had devolved into a mess of pratfalls. Those who managed to avoid the traps would get knocked over by someone who didn't; as a result, many began fighting each other, completely forgetting about Wakko.
"WA-WA-WHOA!" "GET OFFA ME!" "OW, MY FACE!" "AHHH, MY FOOT!" "STOP PUSHING!" "WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!" "OUTTA MY WAY!" "MAKE IT STOP!" "I'LL KILL YOU!" "LOOK OUT!" "I'M FALLING!" "YOU RUINED MY MOMENT!" "YOU WANT A BIG BREAK? I'LL GIVE YOU A BREAK!"
Yakko resumed his waltz with Butterfly, leading her through the atrium. She paid no attention to the growing chaos. As they danced, Butterfly's foot would occasionally step on a slippery hazard that had been tossed carelessly on the floor. She didn't check to see what it was – Butterfly was no newbie that had to watch her feet as she danced – but it was slippery. It caused her feet to fly out into a high kick right into another dancer's face. Serves-you-right, for-mess-ing, up-block-ing. This happened several times and her legs flew front, sideways and backwards. Then, unbeknownst to her, Butterfly's feet got stuck in roller skates. Why-is-the, floor-mov-ing? Hold-still-floor! You-will-not, take-my-mo, ment-a-way! I-de-fy, you-dumb- floor! I-may-slip, I-may-slide, but-I-will, nev-er-fall!
As if he could read her mind, Yakko gasped with excitement and took hold of her wrists. He began spinning Butterfly around and around and around, faster and faster, until releasing her, turning Butterfly into a human spinning top, spinning longer and faster than what Newton's Law of Motion normally allowed.
This was helped in part by the rocket Yakko had attached to Butterfly's back.
"FLY AWAY, LITTLE BIRD! FLLLLLYYYY!" Cohen cheered.
The whirling dervish known as Butterfly zoomed through the atrium. Anyone she bumped into would be sent flying into the walls or even into the ceiling.
There was one splicer that had yet to join the fray. She wore an owl mask. After surveying the area, she made her entrance with a series of flips. Nimbly dodging the traps and other splicers, she stopped halfway to the stage and aimed her hook for Jack's neck. Her throw was good but was intercepted by Yakko, who tossed it to Wakko like a frisbee, beginning a game of keep-away. After several attempts of trying to retrieve her hook, the splicer got wise and ran to throttle Wakko, who stopped her with a hand gesture. Smiling, he handed her a bouquet of toon dynamite. KA-BANG!
"SMILE! SMILE!" Cohen exclaimed as the Warner boys began jumping on heads.
As the atrium was turning into Pratfall Center, Jack couldn't take his eyes off the tiny dancer. The ballerina was as cute as a puppy! Amidst her dainty pirouettes and graceful leaps, she would pull out what appeared to be bandages and wave them around like ribbons. She got them wrapped snug around his wounded leg. Then, she pulled out a handkerchief and wiped down his face. He felt his swollen eye heal and he could see clearly again. Jack smiled and offered his hand for her to hold. Dot happily nuzzled the hand, purring beneath his palm, tail wagging, then proceeded to dance with it.
Feeling cheeky, she pulled out one of her medical things and was pleased to see Jack's oxytocin levels were rising steadily. Then her eyes widened. Wait a second! We didn't pack a thermometer that measures Cuddle Drug levels. It was then that Dot noticed that Jack's palm was covered with an inky substance. Dot gasped. Does that mean that- Before she could complete the thought, Jack, Dot, and their three botty-guards suddenly became encased in ice. The bots shattered like glass when they fell to the ground. A splicer in a bunny-mask appeared before them, laughing as though she played a silly prank.
Why you little- Dot's ire thawed her out of the ice. Without hesitation, the Warner Sister reached up and slapped Bunny hard across the face, shattering her mask in the process. The action left Bunny dumbfounded. For a moment, she could do nothing but stand slack-jawed as Dot turned away with her nose held high. The splicer returned to her senses as the toon girl was distracted with making funny faces at the frozen man.
The Houdini fumed. "How dare you touch me! No one touches me! No one!" Bunny teleported directly behind Dot and reached towards her, screaming "You're jealous! Jealous!" Instead of turning around, Dot's only response was to hold a sign behind her back that read Jealous of what? along with a hand mirror.
When Bunny saw her reflection, she screamed "MY FACE! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY FACE?!" She seized the mirror to get a better look and it cracked as her full face came into view. Bunny wailed. "Stop ogling me!" She started to flee up the stairs in shame, only to crash into a wall of ice and was knocked out cold.
Yikes, thought Dot as she continued to try to crack Jack up. Some people try too hard. Talk about a mood killer. She looked up and saw the fear hadn't left Jack's eyes. Oh, let me guess! She mused, exasperated. Someone thinks they've got the drop on us.
Now I've got the drop on them! Kitty Cat smirked as she prowled closer to her target, palming her lead pipe. I just love it when they shatter and break! It sounds like music. Because when they break, Mr. Cohen will give me my break. Kitty pulled back her pipe to shatter the Jack-sicle but stopped short when a gun was thrust into her face.
The figure holding the gun was very small, like a Little One, but it had the face of a snarling animal. Kitty instinctively jerked backwards but then laughed. It's just a silly pop-gun. "Oooh, I'm so scared! Pweease don't shoot me!" The cat masked splicer jeered. Dot's expression did not change as the smirking splicer pulled out the cork.
BOOM!
An explosion of soot and ash burst all over Kitty. Her shell-shocked expression was more than enough to crack up Jack and send him rolling to the floor with laughter. Kitty had never felt more humiliated in her life. She ripped the gun from the toon girl's hands. "Stick 'em up, brat!" she hissed, but when she pulled the trigger to shoot her, all that came out was a small banner saying BANG. Now multiple people were laughing at Kitty's expense.
"OHH, THAT IS IT! YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT, YOU LITTLE-" the splicer seized the tiny toon, only to be taken aback by the Dot's enormous toothy grin. Kitty's grip loosened reflexively and that was when she realized that Dot had become like bubble gum in her hands. She pulled her hands far apart and quailed as Dot's face was stretched nearly five feet wide.
"You said to 'stick 'em up' right?" the toon asked sarcastically. The wide smile giggled maniacally as Kitty, now freaked out, frantically struggled to free herself.
At this point, Sander Cohen decided he had his fill of artistic chaos for the day and turned off the music. If he had thought that killing the music would break the spell of mayhem over the atrium, he was quite wrong. The fighting, pratfalls, and bouncing continued despite the lack of music. Aggravated, he shouted through the intercom. "Cease! I said cease this madness immediately! You dare ignore me!" But there was no response from the crowd, no acknowledgment that anyone had heard him.
"AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE! GET OFF! GET IT OFF OF ME! LET GO!" Kitty shrieked and flailed her trapped arms about. This caught the boys' attention and they cheered at the spectacle.
"WHOO! LOOK WHO'S BACK!"
"GO, DOT! GO!"
Wakko then noticed Jack sitting up by the stage, more lucid than he had been 5 minutes ago, slack-jawed and wide-eyed as he beheld Pratfall Center. Time for a break, thought Wakko as he signaled his brother. The eldest Warner pulled out a megaphone and yelled "CUUUUUUUUUUT!"
Everything came to a crashing halt. The dancers all collapsed like cut marionettes, groaning as they hit the ground. Butterfly, much to Yakko's amusement, had somehow paused mid-spin. Using the megaphone, he called out "STAND-BY, EVERYBODY!" Then he turned to Butterfly. I wonder how long she can hold that pose. He opted to show mercy. "At ease." In response, the splicer simply lowered her foot. Your dedication is amazing, but don't hurt yourself.
Yakko then followed Wakko, who was assessing an extremely confused Jack.
"Songbird!" barked a familiar voice over the intercom.
Yakko ignored the voice and addressed Jack, "Hey, pal," he said almost shyly, "feeling a bit better?" Jack looked shaken, but he gave a small nod, meeting Yakko's eyes.
"SONGBIRD!"
Annoyed, Wakko threw an anvil at the nearest speaker, destroying it. Undeterred, Yakko continued. "I… I'm sorry about the way I acted back at the Record Store." Yakko fought to keep his voice calm. "You were right; you were right about everything and I am usually smarter than that but," he gave a self-deprecating laugh, "I have this tendency to… when I get mad, I don't think things through." Yakko held out his hands. "But that isn't an excuse. Especially not for how I treated you. I wasn't even angry at you, not really. I-" Yakko's eyes widened "I was mad at myself for disappointing you." He facepalmed and groaned into his hands.
Jack gave a soft chuckle, and Yakko honed in at the sound. The man opened his mouth to respond when-
"YAAAAAAKKKKKKKOOOOOOOOOO!" Cohen howled from Jack's radio. Wakko snarled and Jack had to stop the boy from obliterating his only communication device.
"Sheesh!" muttered Yakko, rubbing his ringing ears as he took the radio, "Ya don't have to yell!"
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?"
"Well, uhhhh." Yakko pulled out a thick book. "According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary this refers to a pronoun indicating the person, thing, or idea that is present or near in place, time, or thought or that has just been mentioned-"
"ARE YOU MOCKING ME!?"
The toon blinked and tilted his head. "Is that a rhetorical question?"
Speaking over Cohen's growling, Yakko declared "Look, one of my few shortcomings is that I never have and never will be able to understand your thoughts." He grinned, "I mean I can try guessing, but I'm sure I'll never get it."
Cohen snarled but deigned to compromise "WHAT… THE FUCK… IS THAT… THING?" and shone a spotlight on Kitty, who was still wrestling with Dot.
Jack gasped but the toons pushed him back down. "Don't worry, she's alright." Wakko quickly assured him. "See!" He then made a demonstration of toon elasticity by pulling his own face to obscene lengths.
Yakko watched Dot's antics sporting an expression of nostalgia. "A showoff, that's what she is." he muttered in exasperated fondness, also offering an answer to Cohen's question.
"A SHOWOFF!?" came the response in a feminine shriek. Dot dribbled like a liquid off Kitty's hands. The splicer took the opportunity to hide behind the other splicers. Dot reformed herself and sounded almost unhinged. "YOU CALL THAT SHOWING OFF? HA! IIIIII'M JUST GETTIN' WARMED UP!" She pulled out a pie with a ten foot diameter and made a beeline for the other dancers. The splicers squealed in fright as they trampled each other to get out of range.
"Im'ma getcha! Im'ma getcha! Im'ma getcha!" the toon girl cackled as she playfully chased after them.
Wakko turned to his brother. "Do you think she might have Hammer Fever?"
"You mean like when you go too long without using hammerspace?" Yakko scoffed, "I doubt that's even a real thing. She's just excited!" He laughed as Dot slammed the pie down on half a dozen splicers. She then proceeded to gleefully whack the other half with the empty pie tin.
"Maybe so," said Wakko, "but I thought hammer fever would explain why the remote ain't working." he shook the remote a few times. "I just changed the batteries, so that ain't it."
As Yakko stroked his chin in thought, Jack asked "Are you trying to control your sister?" with more than a little alarm. The elder Warner quickly explained. "Wakko discovered that if he points the remote at Dot and presses any button, she will always throw a hammer at him."
Wakko nodded eagerly, "Never fails!" his smile fell, "until now."
Yakko patted his shoulder, "Don't take it personally, bro. It's probably still too early. You can try again later."
After having decorated her pie tin with at least ten splicer-shaped indentations, Dot stretched out her limbs before turning to her brothers and Jack with her brightest smile. Dot placed her hands to her lips and blew a big kiss at Jack, it landed on his cheek.
"Ah. So yet another derivative has slithered its way into my home." Cohen snarled over the intercom.
Dot tensed and screamed up to the ceiling. "WHAAAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!"
Everyone gawked at the tiny girl, impressed at her lung capacity. "Uhhh, he called you a derivative, Sis." Yakko clarified.
Dot squinted her eyes and declared, "THAT HAS GOT TO BE THE STUPIDEST INSULT I'VE EVER HEARD IN ALL MY LIFE!"
"Do you even know what that means?" whispered Wakko.
"Oh pah-lease, Wakko." Dot rolled her eyes. "You're the one who doesn't know what it means."
Wakko bristled. "That doesn't mean you do!" he retorted.
"Now, now, sibs," Yakko said calmly, "derivative just means a work of art that imitates or is inspired by someone else."
Dot cocked her head, emitting a soft 'oh'.
"Ah-ha!" Wakko crowed, pointing at her, "You didn't know after all!"
Dot turned up her nose. "For your information, Wakko, I thought he was calling me a mathematical term for the rate of change of a function with respect to a variable."
"...What?" Wakko looked at Yakko, who only shrugged.
"But the art thing makes more sense." She sneered, looking back up. "It's still the stupidest insult I ever heard, but it does make more sense."
Yakko was torn between pride and terror as Cohen spoke again with increased agitation. "Little girl… Do you KNOW who I AM?"
Dot smiled. "Yes, you're a person who doesn't know their own name," she said confidently. Yakko needed both hands to smother a laugh as Cohen sputtered over the intercom. She winked at Jack. "Otherwise you wouldn't be asking little ol' me."
"I'M SANDER FUCKING COHEN!"
Dot retched. "Eugh, people down here are waaaay too open about their-"
Yakko couldn't help himself and lifted the megaphone bark, "GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY!"
"SONGBIRD!"
"O-okay." Yakko composed himself "Nah, Sis. That's his name."
"Wait, really!?" Wakko asked, astounded. "If it were me, I would just use my middle initial."
"NO!" Cohen screamed.
"You mean you don't even have a middle name?" Dot gave a haughty laugh, "Um, was I supposed to be impressed?" Another laugh, "That's nothing! My name is…"
Wakko covered Jack's ears.
"PRINCESS ANGELINA CONTESSA LOUISA FRANCESCA BANANA FANNA BO BESCA THE THIRD"
Dot's voice was loud enough to be heard all over the Fort and beyond as she slowly grew to gigantic proportions. Witnesses fell to the ground, covering their heads and trembling. Then the girl was back to normal, smiling sweetly at Jack, "Just a little thing I do." Jack held a hand over his racing heart. He then cried out as security bots swooped in and took aim at the girl. Dot heard the buzzing and batted her eyelashes at the bots. There was a pause, and one of the sentry bots turned from red to green, immediately shooting down its former comrades.
Wakko facepalmed. Immediately, Yakko remarked, "Hey Dot, that didn't look like the first step of hacking bots 101 to me."
"It is now!" Dot said merrily as she patted her new bot before directing it to Jack.
Yakko could sense Cohen was about to blow his top. So he decided to make it worse by whispering into the radio, "Maybe if you ignore her, she'll go away."
Wakko whined, "But that never works!"
Yakko scratched his chin. "Hmm… very true. Problem is, there is no way to get rid of her."
"Nope!" Wakko affirmed. "We once tried mailing her to the North Pole. But she flew back on a flock of penguins the next day!"
While Dot preened at the story, one splicer found the courage to ask. "Did you mean the Sou-"
"I said what I said," insisted Wakko.
Another lady spoke up, "But penguins can't even-"
"Exactly!" the brothers exclaimed together.
"ENOUGH! What the hell do you want?" Cohen was at the end of his rope.
"Oh, I want many things, but at this second all I want is for you to turn the music back on." Dot said.
"Whyyyyy?"
"Oh yeah! We never finished the show, did we? We only got to the bridge of the song." Yakko clapped his hands and shouted through the megaphone. "Places, everybody!"
Yakko was interrupted when red spotlights bore down on him. A bad sign, a warning sign. "Have you forgotten your place, little bird? Do I need to re-educate you?"
Oh no he didn't, Dot thought, but Yakko held up a hand and cleared his throat. "You know what? You are sooo right. I'm sorry, Sir. I have been so inconsiderate."
"That's better-"
"I should be asking the VIP what he wants." Yakko bounded up to Jack. "How 'bout it, Sir," he asked eagerly, "you wanna see the rest of the show, don'tcha?"
Jack wasn't sure if he was going insane or if he was just adapting to the constant madness, but he nodded, figuring it would be a fun change of pace for once.
"That settles it!" cried Yakko, as he and his brother pulled Jack to his feet, only to push the man into a recliner chair Wakko had pulled from the gag bag. Yakko elevated the foot rest and Wakko handed him a bucket of popcorn. Jack felt as though the chair's natural comfort was holding him prisoner. Oh no. This chair is way too comfortable. I can't stay awake in a chair like this. "But I can't," he tried to protest.
"You will!" promised Wakko, patting Jack's hand. "'Till then, enjoy the show!" Wakko gave Jack's hand a final squeeze before rejoining his siblings.
"Yakko!" Cohen shouted. "Be sure to choose your words carefully. Why should I allow the ghastly little philistine the honor of performing in my halls?"
Yakko did not respond right away as he was winding up Butterfly with a comically oversized turnkey. So Wakko turned to his sister. "Gee, Dot," Wakko scratched his head, "I'm starting to get the feeling he doesn't like you very much."
Dot daintily shrugged her shoulders and then looked upward with a demure smile. "If you don't like me," she began slowly, "maybe you would like…" she pulled out a palm-sized white box, "my pet."
All this time Jack was finding it harder and harder to keep his eyes open and they fell shut just as Dot was lifting the lid. He sprang back awake at the screams from the splicers. When he saw what had appeared Jack shook himself and blinked three times. Either I've finally lost it, or I'm dreaming, or there really is a twelve foot monster rabbit in the middle of the atrium and the kids are riding it like a pony.
Of the three possibilities, Jack leaned the most toward dreaming but opted not to attempt to pinch himself awake. He wanted to see what would happen next. Apparently Cohen felt the same way because the music had resumed.
Butterfly was once again a whirling dervish.
The bunny galloped about with splicers scrambling out of its way. In sync to the music, the rabbit thumped its giant foot, the shock wave sent the closest splicers flying into the air. The kids thought it looked like fun, so they dismounted the bunny in order to be launched as well. Jack smiled at the children's shrieks of delight. When they hit the zenith of their flight they would whack the splicers with pies or mallets, sometimes both at once. One spider splicer hooked a nearby wall during her flight. Then Yakko handed her an anvil and she went back down with a Clang!
The bouncing only stopped when a thuggish splicer struck the rabbit with a crowbar. In response, the bunny turned to glare at the attacker who was suddenly regretting all her life choices. She ran away screaming with the bunny giving chase. The flying splicers who had been intercepted by the Warner siblings had landed in the mouth of a cannon. They poked their heads out to see the three smiling toons light the fuse. The hapless cannon fodder figured out their situation only a split second before they were blasted into the ceiling.
Elsewhere, a known Irish revolutionary was trying to unjam the radio to contact his partner. He also had a view of Fort Frolic and wondered why there were human shaped shadows on the high glass windows.
"What the fuck is going on in there?"
The Giant Rabbit found its way back to the center of the atrium having lost its attacker. At that moment the Whirling Butterfly flew nearer and nearer to it. The Rabbit watched with an almost bemused expression as she came right beside it. Right as the music ended, the animal placed its paw gently atop Butterfly's head to stop her from spinning.
There was Butterfly, posing next to an enormous bunny, when it happened! She heard clapping! They were applauding her! The moment she had always dreamed of had finally come to fruition. Butterfly slowly opened her eyes. So many people – all looking the same, but that was okay – were cheering for her. Something landed at her feet. They even threw her flowers, roses, her favorite! I promised myself I wouldn't cry! Her leporine co-star was gentlemanly enough to pick them up for her. She couldn't keep the smile off her face as she did her best to curtsy without falling over.
Cohen spoke over the intercom. "I'm sorry for that outburst. You'll have to forgive an old fool his artistic temperament. The birth is so close now… the labor pains can blur the judgment and drive the passions of even the finest spirits."
Would you drop the pregnancy metaphor! Jack desperately needed to think of something else. Fortunately, Cohen did not continue. His last statement was spoken in a hurry and he sounded distracted. No matter, thought Jack, time to get back to the grind. He forced himself out of the chair, which was a difficult struggle. Part of himself wept at the loss of comfort. His feet screamed at him as they took the burden of his weight. Now that the excitement was over, he felt as though he were drunk; he was swaying and seeing double.
He noticed Cohen left a present of money and ammunition. As he went to load his shotgun, he became frustrated when his fingers were less dexterous than normal. He gave up after a few attempts, resolving to find coffee, fast. Jack opened his eyes; when had he closed them? Where am I? He looked about his surroundings. I recall bringing the picture, then Cohen got mad, then the kids showed up and turned everything into a cartoon. Did I dream it? He slapped himself stay awake, stay awake, stay a-
Bonk!
Jack was out like a light and he went down like a felled tree. His head was caught by a pillow that had not been there a second ago. Jack had been so tired he didn't detect the three little figures sneaking up behind him and hitting him on the head. He was off to dreamland as the three mischievous creatures descended upon him, giggling madly.