Benji sighs as he tilts the frame ever so slightly to straighten it out on the wall. He steps back to examine it for what might be the tenth or hundredth time that day and just as with each time before, he can't stop the heat of scrutiny from cracking his ribs open, leaving him exposed, and he wishes they would; it would hurt less.
With a gulp, he averts his gaze from the figure peering out at him from within the little box, beside the dozen other renditions of Victor nestled among the flowers and grass and trees in various poses from the garden, and the memory of that afternoon makes his insides slither again.
As Victor's eyes follow him, Benji disappears behind the partition and out of sight. He wishes he didn't have to look at him right now.
"Your setup looks nice." Mia's voice cuts into his thoughts.
With a jump, Benji twists his head to the side before he exhales relief. "Can you not sneak up on me like that, please?"
"Sorry, I didn't know you would get all… antsy."
"I'm not antsy…" Benji grumbles, peering off at the minefield of steel sculptures arranged in a circle with one taller structure like a transmission tower overlooking the rest in the center. "I really love how these turned out."
"Yeah?" Mia says, beaming as she admires her own work.
"Mhm. It's cool to see how it's all supposed to look in situ. What was it supposed to be again?"
"Well…" she says, stepping through the space between one sculpture of a suspension bridge and another of a figure standing with a hand holding a torch thrust up into the air. Upon further inspection, the circle is more of a whorl, with each sculpture transitioning into the other. "It's supposed to be about the progress humans have made throughout history over thousands of years."
"Interesting…" Benji says, tipping his head to the side as he approaches the collection of structures. He strokes his chin as a grin splits his face. "So like, technological progress, right? And as always, large enough to cast a shadow."
"Exactly. So you have fire… the wheel… the steam engine… all the way up to where we can hope to be in the future… Maybe we'll be the technology. Who knows?" she says, patting the sculpture in the center depicting a lone being atop a tower. "But on the flipside… I also like the interpretation of isolation and... maybe even me as being the product of history… I was thinking of all these things when I was making it."
"Sounds a little narcissistic, don't you think?" Benji teases, nudging Mia with his elbow.
"Haha, very funny. At least mine isn't, like, some flowers and 75% photos of my boyfriend."
Benji's lip twitches and he crosses his arms over his chest as he backsteps away from the sculptures. "That was unnecessary."
Mia's face falls and she puts her hand on her hip. "Sorry… I didn't—"
"It's fine. I'm…" Benji takes a deep breath and leans against the felt wall behind him, as Mia meanders through her sculptures to stand before him, "I'm kinda over it but not. Like, I miss him… But what am I even supposed to do?"
"What's your gut telling you?"
Eyelids falling heavy on his face, Benji licks at the backs of his teeth and glares at her. "You're asking me to trust my notoriously wrong—"
"Okay, okay. I don't mean it like that. Like, you've had time to think about it, right?"
"I mean… kinda? I don't know. I've been focusing on finals and trying to distract myself from the whole thing, but… I don't know why this is so hard."
Mia hums, coming to stand beside Benji against the wall. Around them, several other students mill about, putting the finishing touches on their pieces and hanging them up to be displayed. Benji watches as a pair of students wheel a cart with an abstract, multi-colored mixed-media sculpture through the space.
"It's hard because you love him, idiot," Mia says.
"Well, yeah, obviously I love him. I love him so much, but what if that's not enough?"
"Now hold on just a second…" Mia turns her entire body to face Benji. She rests her elbow against the wall and lets her head fall on her palm. "You're not thinking of dumping him, are you?"
"I mean—"
"Seriously?"
Benji throws his arms up, exasperated. "I just… it might be a deal-breaker for me. Like, I've already been trying to stay out of my own toxic-ass apartment, I don't need that shit to happen in my relationship, either."
"Ahh… okay. Gotcha."
"I don't wanna have to walk on eggshells around someone who's supposed to… you know, love and respect me and stuff."
"I totally get it…" Mia sighs, twirling the end of her hair on her finger as she stares up at the metal beams holding up the ceiling. "This is kinda tough because I know it can be scary when your partner acts… out of character."
"Well, it's not exactly out of character."
"Oh?"
Stepping away from the wall, Benji stares down at his feet as he draws an invisible line on the concrete floor with his toe. "I did get to accidentally hear him blow up at his mom a few weeks ago and it was… a lot."
"I see…"
"Yeah. I should have known he was too good to be true."
Mia is quiet for a long time and Benji wonders if perhaps she didn't hear him. He raises his eyes to her face as she chews on the inside of her cheek and gazes past him out the window into the little wooded area, the trees swaying gently in the late spring breeze.
"This is definitely a struggle," Mia finally says, breaking the silence that had descended upon them. "I don't think I actually know the right answer here."
"I'm not really expecting you to find a solution for me. Like on one hand, he's so perfect and we're perfect together, we get along great, our communication for the most part is also great aside from this little fiasco… but I'm just… kinda terrified that I might end up being terrified of him and I don't want that to happen. Or even worse, what if we end up like my parents—"
"There it is."
"Huh?" Benji pauses midway through running his hand through his hair and ruffling it between his fingers.
"It sounds like you're trying to sabotage yourself again."
Benji opens his mouth to retort but clamps it closed quickly. "Hm."
"Did I guess right?" Mia asks with a chuckle as she pushes herself off the wall, too, and paces a few steps back, wrapping her arms behind her and grabbing each elbow with the opposite hand. "And you didn't even mention the sex for once."
"Don't look so smug," Benji says, rolling his eyes as his cheeks grow warm.
"It's still good?"
"Yeah, obviously it's still good… He's consistently amazing. Like, he knows what I like and he's gotten less worried about hurting me, so it's… shit, now I'm getting distracted."
A smile plays at Mia's lips and she shakes her head slowly. "You're fucking horny."
"Well, yeah, I haven't even jerked off in like a week."
"Oh, wow…"
"Yeah. I guess my priorities have changed… Because you can't sustain a relationship with just sex."
"What a realization!" Mia feigns surprise as she widens her eyes and lets her mouth fall open into a little 'o'. "Then just talk to him. Tell him how it all makes you feel, Jesus. Like, obviously, I don't wanna encourage you into a situation where you don't feel comfortable but it just sounds like you're in your head again, B."
"I mean, I guess I am, but like… he's also been ignoring me all week and I know he has finals and stuff but like… I miss having him around." Benji tugs at the lower edge of his blazer absently.
"I get it. But he's done with all his stuff, right? So you just have to give him a little bit of time to figure his shit out and apologize. If you both love each other and want to make it work, you'll figure it out. Just try to keep a positive outlook, all right?"
With a grin and a nod, Benji exhales. "Yeah, true. Thanks."
"Just don't stress yourself over him today, B. Let him come to you. But for now, let's focus on this… whole thing," Mia says, stretching her arms out to the sides as she strides around her sculptures, letting her fingertips brush against the smooth metal surfaces.
Shaking his head with a small smile as something strangles his insides, Benji returns to his work on the other side of the wall. Through the partition, he watches as the front door clicks open and guests filter in.
He buttons his blazer, presses down an upturned corner on one of the labels on the wall beside a photo. Out of habit, he slips his phone from the pocket of his black and red plaid skirt, glancing down at its notification-free screen, the butterflies in his stomach refusing to stop their furious fluttering. He bites his lip and shrugs before he pockets it again and returns his attention to his work, drumming his fingers against the top of the table.
But he still can't bring himself to look at the eyes staring back at him.
—
For the first time in a while, Victor awakens naturally.
He does it without the help of an alarm or the cocktail of adrenaline and cortisol that's made a home in his veins. It's foreign, too quiet.
His arm darts out to snatch his phone from his nightstand and the unwelcome brain chemicals swarm back. He bolts upright and checks his alarm and his calendar; nothing. And so he exhales relief.
But the relief is short-lived. Eyes surveying his room, the emptiness is claustrophobic around him, a silent, oppressive box that makes him sigh before he swallows the thick wad of mucus and saliva that's accumulated in the back of his throat. He groans as he tosses aside the pillow that makes a poor substitute for the comforting weight of Benji's body pressed against him before he rolls over on his back and holds his phone over his face.
Even though he's not expecting anything, his barren inbox makes his heart tighten in his chest and he bites his lip.
I deserve that.
Holding his hand over his eyes for a moment, Victor takes a deep breath before he lets it slough off him and dangle beside him like an anchor reminding him viscerally of his own stupid mistake.
But the ceiling is far more interesting than his own thoughts—or at least he pretends it is, before he realizes there's no more use in pretending and drags himself out from under his blanket, not even bothering to make his bed.
He's hungry, but the roiling in his stomach is distant and the thought of keeping food down is something that makes Victor curl his lip. And so instead he stares at the mountain of clothes piled up on every surface around him and the bags and boxes he'll need to fill with them and almost crawls back into bed again.
Even the sunlight peeking through the curtains doesn't entice him enough, and as he catches the fruity scent of the candles wafting over to him from his dresser, the compulsion gets even more intense, an inescapable, painful chain dragging him back and he has no choice but to slip into bed again and stare at the wall, away from his problems.
Because the most important one he can't just pack away.
Victor doesn't know what time it is when he finally pulls himself up a second time, because the yammering of birds outside his window becomes so insufferable he almost wants to bang on the glass and scream at them to shut up, but he refrains; he doesn't want to be like that anymore.
To drown out the storm of self-pity gathering inside him, Victor puts his music on shuffle and turns the volume as loud as it'll go. A gentle bell melody and soulful vocals make way for a snare so intense, it shakes the room as "Bambi" by Jidenna plays.
Frowning, Victor stands in front of the mess of clothes and crosses his arms over his chest as his gaze flits across everything, and his mind goes blank when he tries to decide where to start. But his mind wanders to the lyrics of the song instead, with its uptempo musical accompaniment creating a confusing sense of unease in his core.
Oh Bambi it's my design
To run the jungle I must be a lion
Or be a cheetah but neither is fine
Don't wanna hurt my dear, love of my life
He tries not to think further as he grabs a box and shoves a pile from atop his chair into the box with a thwap, without even bothering to fold his clothes.
Bambi, Bambi (Ah, Bam-Bambi)
My dear, my dear, my dear (Ah, Bam-Bambi)
My dear I want you here (Ah, Bam-Bambi)
Don't get too near for there's lions beware (Ah, Bam-Bambi)
The music grates at him unpleasantly and Victor's pulse spikes to the point where his limbs radiate static and all he can do to keep from screaming is march over to where his phone lies innocently and he growls, sweaty hands leaving streaks on the screen as he chooses the first song in his playlist—the soothing, predictable "Baby Shark".
His shoulders lighten ever so slightly and he continues to shove his things into boxes, before gingerly picking up the candles from their place and stowing them away with care, wrapping them in some of his clothes for protection.
There's a soft knock on the door but Victor ignores it as he shuffles the boxes around, before the knock grows louder, a metronomic banging that forces him to peel his attention away.
"Hey, buddy, you okay?" comes Fee's voice from the other side of the door.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"You're blasting 'Baby Shark' on repeat, man. Which you only do when something's bothering you."
Victor groans as he pauses the music and pads over to the door, rolling his eyes before he opens it. "Okay… Maybe I'm not fine."
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Fee asks, leaning against the doorway as they slip a bobby pin through their fringe to sweep it aside.
Opening his mouth quickly, Victor closes it almost immediately before he nods and steps aside.
"Oh, snap. You did a lot of packing already," Fee says, pursing their lips as they plop down on Victor's bed, impressed. "All of this…" they make little circles with their hands, "wouldn't… happen to be about Benji, would it?"
Victor sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose as he drops himself beside Fee on the bed. His voice drips with sarcasm. "Gee, what makes you say that? The whole screaming fiasco in the library last week or the fact that none of our friends will even talk to me?"
Fee cringes and sits back, resting their weight on their hands. "Wow. Yeah. That's uh… a struggle all right."
"Yeah." Victor flops backward and lets his head hang off the edge of the bed and he observes the smooth, grey wall with heavy eyelids.
"To be fair, it was super awkward these past few days without you around, buuuut, I think things have cooled down now that finals are finally over."
Scrunching his mouth to the side, Victor pulls himself back into a sitting position letting his shoulders relax and fall forward. "That's good, I guess."
"Look." Fee takes a deep breath and sets their hand on Victor's shoulder firmly as they look him directly in the eye. "I know you've been under a lot of stress lately. It's not ideal to yell at your partner, but… I'm sure Benji will understand if you talk to him and apologize."
Victor stares out the window at the wisps of white floating across the cerulean sky, the tiny sliver of hope in the pit of his stomach germinating, but made to wilt as soon as it does.
"I just feel like I fucked everything up." His voice is almost hollow.
"Buddy… come on. Did you get any notice from Benji saying he dumped you? No, right? You both just needed some space to cool down, that's all."
"I know, I just… I don't want that to happen ever again. Because honestly, I feel like a monster. Like I have this… thing inside me that usually I can keep under control but then I get overstimulated, and… I don't want to risk it coming out and hurting the person I love… again."
"No, I get it." Fee nods slowly before staring up at the ceiling. "I mean, I know it's easier said than done to take care of yourself and reduce stress and sleep more and all that… But you also need to forgive yourself, Vic. You didn't kill his cat. And the fact that you're worrying about this says a lot about who you are." They punctuate with a poke to Victor's sternum.
Victor mulls over their words, chewing on his lip as he plays with his fingers. He blinks a few times as a tear burgeons in his lower eyelid; his voice is soft and shaky when he says: "I just don't want him to be afraid of me."
"Well… 99.99999—"
"Get to the point, Fee. Please."
"My point is that most of the time, you're like, the chillest, least-threatening individual I've ever met. But not in the, like, goody two-shoes kinda way. More in the sense that… you're super kind and respectful to everyone and are always looking out for people and you would never intentionally hurt anyone."
"I guess that's true…" Victor mumbles, wiping his eye in the back of his arm before he sets his hand back down to ball absently in his sheets.
"Not to mention the fact that if Benji was actually afraid of you, he would have cut you off and wanted nothing to do with you. I know how he operates." Fee pats Victor on the leg with a soft, reassuring smile. "He loves you, Victor. And he'll forgive you."
Victor nods, his head bobbing up and down as his gaze flits absently across the boxes he'd filled earlier and he swallows the doubt he'd allowed to rise in his throat. "You're right. Plus, I imagine he's more hurt by this whole thing than I am."
"I didn't wanna say it, but… yeah, probably," Fee says as their grin widens and they scratch the back of their head.
"He's still on campus, right?"
"Yeah. He and Mia are at the art building setting up for the end-of-year exhibition—"
"Shit, that's right!" Victor smacks himself in the forehead before he lets his head melt into both hands. "I swore I put that in my calendar but I must have forgotten, ugh…"
"Hey, man, relax… It hasn't started yet but Andrew and Lake and I were gonna head over in a bit, so you can tag along, make up with Benji, and then we can sneak some champagne and tiny quiches."
Victor exhales relief and sits up straighter. "Okay, sounds like a plan. I just gotta pack all my shit in my car and I think I'll be ready."
He runs the boxes into his car, shoving them into the trunk like pieces of a misshapen, careless puzzle, as the sun bears down on his back through his black t-shirt and he sweats through his clothes after a few minutes. The soft cotton sticks to his skin as he climbs the stairs and returns to his dorm, finally deciding to eat some breakfast.
Sighing, Victor opens the fridge and crouches down to examine the contents. He taps his lips with the tip of his finger. After a moment's contemplation, he pulls out a tupperware container filled with curry chickpeas and rice.
He takes a bowl from the corner cabinet and spoons out a portion of curry into a bowl before sticking it in the microwave for a moment, the scent of masala and garlic and ginger and tomatoes making him grin as he remembers the way Benji shoveled it into his mouth the first time he tried it, asking for seconds within a few minutes.
Once he finishes forcing down the last spoonful of food, Victor showers the sweat off his skin and dresses up in a navy floral dress shirt, which he tucks into a pair of dark slacks. He scrunches his face up in concentration as he adjusts his hair in the mirror before he puts on a pair of shades. With one final once-over, Victor takes a deep breath, grabs his phone and slips it into his pocket.
"Ready to go?" Fee asks as they pull out their keys from their pocket and pad down the corridor toward the door.
Victor steps out into the hallway and pulls the door shut. "Yep. What about Lake and Andrew?"
"They'll meet us outside in a few minutes." Fee examines their phone for a moment as the bell pings. "Cool. They're here."
Fee and Victor descend the stairs in contemplative silence, Victor with his hands buried deep in his pockets as he watches the trees outside the windows in the few steps it takes for them to appear in the glass splitting each level in the staircase.
When they reach the ground floor, where the other pair approaches them with scrunched faces, Fee beams and greets them excitedly while Victor raises his hand with a forced smile. "Hey, guys."
"Hey, babe." Andrew's voice is high and sweet as he kisses Fee on the cheek gently before turning his attention to Victor with eyebrows knit together in a way that has Victor wondering if it's meant to be jocular or irritated. "Sup, Salazar."
"Oh my god, Victor, I can't believe I'm finally gonna see you in a dress. I feel like I've been waiting an eternity," Lake prattles as she loops an arm through Victor's and pulls him along with her.
"Uh… cool…" Victor mutters, mouth twisting as he follows her lead.
The art building, which is normally quiet and peaceful, is abustle with life as they enter, the cool air smacking their skin a welcome refuge from the sticky Georgia summer.
They don't walk far to gain access to the giant main exhibit hall with high, vaulted ceilings that make Victor feel like he's being transported into a stadium, the white lights beaming down on everything and reverberating from the equally white walls.
Lake, Fee and Andrew drift away, but Victor doesn't bother following them farther beyond the entrance.
And as he enters, gaze searching through the sea of people oozing through the hall, he spots a familiar face in the midst of a conversation with some guests, head thrown back as he laughs.
He locks eyes with Benji from across the room just as Benji's smile fades, only to be replaced by a steely glare, his mouth an etched line through his face.
Victor's blood roars in his ears and his heart throbs as Benji averts his gaze. His palms sweat but he forces himself forward anyway.
—-
Benji's cheeks warm as the couple asking him questions depart, moving toward some other works in the area and away from him. He takes a deep breath, holds it, then exhales as something grows in his peripheral vision, but he doesn't know if he's prepared for this right now.
"What, are you here to yell at me again?" Benji asks, eyes glued to Victor's collarbone instead of his face as he makes himself busy with shuffling some papers around on the table in front of him.
"Okay, I deserved that," Victor says quietly, exhaustion lacing each word. "You look really nice, Benji."
He's unprepared for this response. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Benji stops moving the stack of papers around and stands up straighter before he raises his gaze to Victor's face slowly, as if each movement would increase the burning in the back of his throat, his entire body rigid. "Thanks… I didn't think you would come."
Victor raises an eyebrow as he peers into Benji's eyes. "Of course I was gonna come. I mean, I'm still your boyfriend and I'm here to support you, right?"
They stand there staring at each other for a moment, the table between them blocking the path to Victor's embrace; Benji doesn't know if that's a good or bad thing.
"I don't wanna make this about me because this is supposed to be your day, but… Can we talk?" Victor asks, holding his hand out but pausing mid-motion before he pulls away and slides it back into his pocket.
Benji nods, pressing his lips together tightly as he glances around. "Yeah, of course… Let's get outta here."
The silence engulfs them as they wander away from where Benji had set up his works, away from the bustle and noise in the main hall. Benji leads them down into an empty corridor before he stops in his tracks and twirls around to face Victor, leaning his shoulder against the wall and shifting his jaw from side to side as he sticks his thumbs into the pockets of his skirt.
"So…" Victor says, leaving a few feet of space between them as he rubs his hands together and looks at everything except Benji. He chews on his lower lip before he finally holds Benji's gaze with his own. "I wanted to… apologize to you. For the other day. It was uncalled for and it won't happen again."
The weight that had sat in Benji's chest these past few days like a ball of osmium where his heart should be almost shudders, slowly lightening as he tips his head to the side and lets the top of his temple thump gently against the wall.
He can't stop his lip from curling up; he looks away for a moment. "Thank you. I appreciate it."
"Look… I don't wanna make excuses for my behavior but I was really having a hard time, as you know, with my sleep and just like… taking care of myself and stuff. But none of that is your fault and I should never have taken it out on you, especially when you were just looking out for me and being an amazing boyfriend," Victor says, holding his hand out but leaving some space between them so Benji can meet him halfway.
"I get it," Benji says, taking Victor's hand in his own and pulling him gently toward him. "But I really… I can't deal with that sort of thing."
"I know. And it should never have happened in the first place." Victor sighs as Benji closes the space between them with his body as he wraps his arms around Victor's middle and holds him close.
Burying his face in Victor's neck, Benji takes a deep breath of his woody and citrusy cologne, mixed with his own sweat in a way that isn't unpleasant but instead intoxicating somehow. He grips at the back of Victor's shirt, clutching at the starched fabric tightly, as if loosening his grip would make Victor disappear into thin air.
Somehow, the events of the other day slough away and he instantly forgets why he'd been upset in the first place. Instead, he's overwhelmed by Victor's arms around his back and his lips against his crown.
"I love you so much, Vic. But just… please… don't ever yell at me again. I really… don't like it." Benji's voice comes out muffled but shaky.
Victor nuzzles his nose against Benji's hair and leans against the wall, too. "I won't. I'm sorry. I'm gonna do everything in my power to keep myself from doing that because I love you too much to let my stupid temper ruin things with you. Because that sort of thing doesn't belong in a relationship."
"Thank you."
"Thank you for forgiving me."
Benji grins so wide it numbs his face as he raises his head from Victor's shoulder and presses his lips to Victor's cheek before he connects their lips in a gentle caress. He pulls away and peers up at Victor, hand resting on soft cheek.
"You're so important to me, Victor. But when you completely lost it on me, I got scared. Not necessarily because I'm afraid of you, although it did sorta… make me wonder. But I know you would never actually hurt me."
Victor averts his gaze, staring at the mishmash of black and grey and white line segments all over the linoleum floor beneath their feet. He sighs, as if perhaps he could exhale all the shame from within him.
"I don't want you to ever be in a position where you even have to wonder about that," Victor says, grimacing, as he sets his hand on the side of Benji's neck, right beneath his jaw.
Benji hooks his fingers through Victor's belt loops and nods. "Yeah, I know… I also think I'm just extra sensitive about it because I just don't want us to end up like my parents, you know? I just want us to be able to talk normally. Like, I'm realizing that I don't really do well with conflicts with the people I love."
"Ah… I hear you. I think I'm the same way, actually," Victor says with a gentle chuckle as he lets his hands rest on Benji's shoulders. "I'll try to be better about telling you when I'm not feeling well because pretending I'm fine clearly has disastrous consequences."
"Yeah. I love you, Victor. But I'm not looking for a project. I already have a lot on my plate."
Adam's apple bobbing, Victor nods vigorously. "You won't have to worry about that, babe. I swear."
"Okay. I'm willing to work with you, obviously, but I want someone who's my equal, not someone I need to fix." Benji's tone is serious, gaze intense, but he's staring at the blinding white wall behind Victor, as if looking at him directly would burn more.
"I know. We're definitely on the same page about that."
"I can't be walking on eggshells around you hoping you won't snap. I already did that with Derek, it happens with my parents, but I don't want it to happen with you. I can't."
"I get it. And I will try. I promise you that much."
"I just needed to hear that you're gonna try. That's all." Benji exhales loudly.
Victor cranes his head down to kiss Benji softly on the forehead before he wraps an arm around Benji's back and pulls him away from the wall. "Well, I don't wanna take advantage of you giving me another chance. I wanna… break the generational cycle, you feel?"
Beaming, Benji presses himself into Victor's side and drapes his arm over his shoulder as they step out into the main hallway again. "I know this is a novel idea, but you're allowed to lean on me and rely on me. I'm not just here for you to fuck, but for you to talk to and stuff, too. I want you to, since, you know. We're a team and all that."
Sniffling, Victor sighs. "That's true… It's good to know I'm not a burden."
"No, you'll never be a burden to me. And I know hurting each other occasionally might be inevitable but I also know we're both trying our best and I really trust you, Victor."
"Yeah. You're absolutely right." Victor dabs at his eyes with his wrist.
Benji giggles to himself as he wipes away the tear that slips out from Victor's eyelid. "Aww, babe, are you crying?"
"A little… but mostly because you're too damn sweet."
"I try," Benji says with a sly grin, as he smooths down Victor's hair and kisses him again.
"Thank goodness, I honestly thought I blew things with you completely."
"I'll be honest… I did think about… dumping you. But you really reassured me. And I love you too much to let you go, Victor," Benji sighs, squeezing Victor's shoulder tightly.
Victor swallows the lump in his throat but nods nonetheless, sharing a long gaze. "I'm glad. I love you, too, Benji. Mi amor."
Quiet falls between them again and they walk slowly in step back to the exhibition, enjoying the sensation of being engulfed in each other's arms, protective quilts shielding them from the horrors of the world.
"I feel like your shoulder is gonna hurt from doing that," Victor says with a chuckle.
"Huh?"
"Because you're short… and it's also kinda hurting my back because I have to lean down…"
Benji chuckles but shrugs as they approach the door to the exhibition hall.
"I really wanna see all the stuff you were working on this semester. Properly," Victor says, before pressing his lips tightly together as he smiles a crooked smile.
Benji pulls the door to the exhibition hall open and motions for Victor to enter ahead of him. "People are really interested in the photos of you, actually."
"Really?"
"Mhm. I don't blame them, though, because you look amazing." Benji winks as he leads Victor back to where he has his station, the framed photos like an audience observing them.
There are a few people huddled around the frames, while others peer down at the paintings and sculptures in their display cases—a mix of pastoral and abstract—that Benji had created. He glances over his shoulder and makes eye contact with Victor before he approaches the group and greets them, Victor's hand gluing itself to the spot on his lower back that it seems to gravitate to all on its own.
"Oh, hey, Ruth!" Benji says.
"Benji, oh my god!" Ruth says, opening her arms and scooping Benji into a tight hug. "How have you been? It's been ages!"
"Eh, I've been fine. Actually…" he can't stop the smile blooming on his lips, "I've been really good. How 'bout you?"
Ruth shrugs and holds her hands up. "Well… I kinda dumped my boyfriend last week. Finally. I wish I'd done it sooner, but whatever."
"Oh. I was waiting for you to do that."
She giggles as she rests her hand on the edge of one of the display cases. "But anyway! I'm loving all the stuff you have here… especially the photos… Chef's kiss!"
"Thank you… wait, god I'm being so rude." Benji smacks himself in the forehead and grabs Victor by the arm, wrapping both his own around it like a vine and presenting Victor to Ruth as he smiles sheepishly. "Ruth, this is my boyfriend, Victor. Victor, this is my friend Ruth from my… figure drawing class…" Benji's voice trails off and his cheeks flare.
Victor holds out his hand stiffly. "Hi, Ruth. Nice to meet you."
"Wait, I know you!" Ruth says with a gasp as she takes his hand in her own.
"You do?" Victor raises an eyebrow.
"Yeah, you were a model once in that class."
Scratching the back of his neck, Victor's cheeks redden, too. "Oh. Riiiight."
All three of them stand there between the glass cases and the wall, red-faced, for a moment.
"We may or may not have… hooked up in the classroom afterwards," Benji mutters.
"Ohhhh," Ruth says, holding her hand in front of her mouth. "Good to know, I guess. That explains why you were so… weird…"
Benji gives her a tight-lipped smile as he clears his throat. "Well, it's wild that we keep running into people who've seen at least one of our dicks…"
They continue catching up as people meander in and out of the exhibition, weaving around them as they stop to admire the work on display. When Ruth departs, she makes her way to where Mia has her sculptures set up and falls into conversation with her as Benji turns his attention back to the people gathered around his photos.
"And this is my boyfriend, who also served as my muse for a lot of my work…" Benji says, patting Victor on the shoulder as he pulls him forward.
Victor gives an awkward smile and waves modestly before he tilts his face down to Benji as he drapes an arm over his back. He downs the rest of his champagne and sets it down on the table beside them quickly.
"This guy really made me look a thousand times better than I do in real life." Victor chuckles as he tucks a lock of hair behind Benji's ear and his eyes soften, warmth pooling from his irises like a river of light.
Benji rolls his eyes and swats at his arm. "Oh, stop it." He shakes his head and smiles, gesticulating in Victor's direction. "You gave me a lot to work with. I'm just there to… enhance it all."
"No, no. It's all you, mi amor," Victor insists, caressing Benji's back with his palm as he waves his other hand. "He's got an amazing eye; he's so freaking talented… And that's just one of the many things I love about him."
Grinning stupidly, Benji clutches at his chest to stop the mad fluttering about in his ribcage before he presses a peck to Victor's cheek. He whispers in Victor's ear: "Thanks, babe."
"I'm just being honest. You know, I'm really proud of you."
Benji walks on air for the rest of the afternoon, his head abuzz with compliments as Victor stands by his side and whispers encouraging words into his ear. Soon, Lake, Andrew and Fee come to gawk at Benji's work, ooh-ing and aah-ing over the photos of Victor.
"So you two lovebirds are all right now," Andrew says, hands in his pockets as Fee leans with their elbow on his shoulder.
"Thank goodness, it was so awkward. I didn't wanna have to choose sides," Lakes says, crossing one leg over the other in front of the wall. "I would def choose you, though, Benji. Sorry, Vic. Hoes over bros."
"None taken," Victor says with a chuckle as Benji does the same beside him.
"Damn, Vic, you look expensive," Lake says in awe after a moment, leaning over with her face a millimeter away from the frame on the wall before her head snaps to the side. "Like, Kim Kardashian-West expensive!"
"You kinda look like my mom. Like, when she was… thirty years younger," Fee says, squinting.
"Lemme be the judge of that…" Andrew mutters beside Lake.
Victor shakes his head with a laugh. "Thank you. Maybe I should dress in drag more often."
"I wish people made a big deal when I dress in drag. I mean, I'm technically in drag right now. Look," Benji says, holding his hands out in front of him and dragging them down the air in front of him down to his legs. "I'm literally wearing a skirt."
"I've seen you wear more… out there stuff," Andrew says with a shrug.
Lake covers her mouth with her palm. "Yawn. It's not interesting if you do it all the time."
Benji pouts and crosses his arms over his chest. "You guys are mean to me."
"I kinda like it," Fee says, popping a tiny quiche into their mouth.
"Thank you, finally someone with taste."
"And I think it looks very avant-garde, babe. It shows off your… assets," Victor says.
"Thanks, babe. You always understand my vision." Rolling his eyes fondly, Benji uncrosses his arms and adjusts his blazer with a giggle. "But yeah, people like my other art, but this… we've literally been here for like an hour arguing about whether I'm talented or Victor is hot whenever anyone comes over."
He pulls himself away from Victor, the spots where their bodies had been fused covered in a thin layer of sweat that gets cold in an instant.
"Ugh, you're both too modest… And what was the consensus?" Lake asks as she stands up straight and turns away from the wall of photos.
Benji smirks as he shares a glance with Victor. "I think we've reached an impasse."
—
Victor hums to himself as he waves to Fee before they drive off, the forest green sedan disappearing around the corner in an instant. He sighs as he opens the door to his own car in the dimness, every move he makes echoing off the surface of the almost empty parking garage.
As he slides into the driver's seat, his pocket vibrates once. He ignores it.
But the vibration is insistent and he grumbles as he straightens out his leg and pulls out his phone, his stomach dropping when "❤️Benji? ﾟﾑﾉ?￢ﾀﾝ shows up on the screen. He taps the little green icon and brings the phone to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Hey, babe. Are you still on campus?"
"Yeah, why? Is everything okay?"
"Everything's fine. I just… Would you be able to do me a favor?"
"Oh, god, thank you so much. You're honestly a lifesaver." Benji sighs, grunting quietly as he shoves the final box into the back seat of Victor's car, pulling his hands away before he slams the door quickly. The box rams against the window from the inside, threatening to burst through it.
"It's not a problem at all, I actually could use the company on the drive back home."
Benji smiles and wipes his brow in his arm as he opens the passenger door and slides into the seat, letting his limbs drop limply as he closes his eyes and steadies his breath. "I'm so glad the semester's finally over. And I guess I got lucky my car lasted as long as it did before it decided to peace out. I'll deal with it tomorrow, though."
"It's good it didn't happen when you were in the middle of driving," Victor says, hopping in the car and turning the key in the ignition. "That would have been a nightmare."
"Right…" Benji exhales, opening his eyes and turning to face Victor. "Have you had anything to eat yet?"
"Yeah, I'm okay for now. Thanks for asking," Victor says with a small smile as he drives them off campus.
They sit in an exhausted but comfortable silence as Victor's pupils dance between the road, with the moon full and hovering over them like a sentinel in the darkness, and Benji, who's using his arm as a pillow as he leans against the window, napping prettily with his hair cascading around his face.
Victor sets his hand down on the console quietly and Benji peeks at him from the corner of his eye as he reaches out and laces their pinkies together with a sleepy grin, before he drags his hand to cover the back of Victor's and threads their fingers together like blades of grass into a braid.
Soon they arrive in the suburbs of Atlanta. Victor parks the car on the side of the street before he gently shakes Benji's arm to wake him.
"Hey, babe," Victor says softly as Benji stirs.
"Hm?"
"We're at your place."
Benji stretches and takes a sharp inhale before he exhales and sets his arm back down beside him. "Thanks again for driving me."
Victor's eyes twinkle in the night when he leans over the console and takes Benji's chin gently between his fingers, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "My pleasure, mi amor. And I know I'm gonna sound like a serial killer but you look really cute when you sleep."
"Thanks, Hannibal Lecter," Benji says, as his face flushes in the dimness.
They remove the boxes from the backseat of Victor's car carefully. Victor insists on stacking several boxes on top of each other as Benji drapes his bag over his shoulder before picking up a single box with a tight-lipped smile.
The trek up the many flights of stairs to Benji's apartment is easy for the first few flights, until Victor's legs begin to burn and shake. Benji shakes his head as he pulls out his keys and pushes the door open, gently guiding Victor into the living room as he sweeps his arm over the wall to turn on the light.
"Just put it all down in there and we can deal with it later," Benji says, a hint of a laugh hanging off his words as he closes the door with his foot and drops his box on the couch along with his bag.
With a loud groan, Victor leans over and sets the stack of boxes down as gently as he can muster, letting them land with a quiet thud before he stands up and leans backward to stretch out his back. "That was a stupid idea."
"It was… but it was also really sexy," Benji says with a wink, kicking his shoes off before shuffling into the kitchen.
Victor heaves, following suit and collapsing onto one of the chairs at the kitchen table. Benji chuckles as he grabs a glass from inside one of the overhead cabinets and pours some water in it before he sets it down on the table in front of Victor. With a sigh, Victor picks it up and almost throws the water down his throat.
"You don't have to prove how strong you are all the time, you know," Benji teases.
Tipping his head back, Victor finishes up the last of his water and slams the glass on the table as he exhales loudly. "I know, I know. I just didn't wanna make another trip."
Rolling his eyes, Benji pads over to Victor and swats his hands away as he lowers himself onto Victor's lap, slinging his arm around his shoulder. "You know… my parents won't be home til the morning… so we have the apartment to ourselves…"
"Oh, really…?"
"Yeah… and you know, little ol' me has been a little… hungry lately," Benji says innocently, staring up at the textured, water-damaged ceiling.
"Ah… very interesting indeed…" Victor chuckles through his nose as he lets his hand rest gently on Benji's knee.
Humming, Benji tips his head down to rest his forehead against Victor's as he wraps his other arm around Victor's neck, their lips pulling together as if magnetized.
"But first I wanted to ask you something," Benji says, drawing little circles on Victor's spine with the tip of his finger.
Victor slips his hand up the back of Benji's shirt, his warm fingers dragging against smooth skin, and peers up at him. "What's up?"
"I just wanna make sure that your temper won't interfere with us doing any kinky shit."
Victor nods. "Yeah, I get it. Like, I know we're messing around a lot of times but I'll definitely safeword if I feel like I'm actually getting angry. But so far it's been good. It's… easy for me to be careful about it when I'm in the right headspace; I'd safeword you right away if I wasn't."
"Good. I just wanted to be sure."
"I know the whole 'safe, sane, consensual' thing is super important, after all," Victor says, watching Benji's face as he runs his fingertips, feather-light, along Benji's lower back.
"That's true…"
Benji shivers and smiles as he caresses Victor's neck, letting his hand travel to Victor's face. He curls a finger under Victor's chin and guides their lips to each other as their limbs tangle together.
"Y'know…" Victor breathes as they separate, nipping at Benji's lower lip before he continues, "I missed you so much these past few days."
"Oh, yeah? Then show me."
"Huh?"
"Show me how much you missed me," Benji says with a sly grin, his canines glinting in the light. "Especially since now, we won't get interrupted."
Victor swallows the lump in his throat before his mouth drops open slightly. He glances around the kitchen as his own mouth curls upward, too.
"What're you thinking?" Benji says as he pushes himself off Victor's lap and onto the floor before he holds his hand out to help him up.
"I'm thinking… about how…" Victor says slowly, as he stands up and takes a step toward Benji, reaching up to thread his fingers through his hair and gripping at the roots before he trails kisses down to his neck. "I wanna touch you…" He takes their connected hands and slips Benji's into his own back pocket, "and I want you to touch me."
Benji nods as he squeezes Victor's ass firmly and Victor pushes him back so his tailbone bumps against the counter behind him. He gasps. "You wanna do it… here?"
"Is that a problem?"
"Not at all," Benji says quickly, shivering as he hops onto the counter and pulls Victor between his legs before he wraps them around his back.
With a chuckle, Benji presses his lips to Victor's as his fingertips wander down his back and he peels the bottom of his shirt over his head, separating from Victor for a moment to toss it haphazardly before reconnecting their mouths. He slips his hands down the back of Victor's pants and kneads at his ass as Victor reaches under Benji's skirt and strokes the insides of his thighs; he moans softly into Victor's mouth.
Benji squirms, drawing his legs tighter around Victor's middle and bucking his hips ever so slightly into Victor, just as Victor sighs and clamps both hands against the tops of Benji's thighs roughly.
"Stop that," Victor whispers into Benji's ear, before he pulls Benji's legs apart again.
"Stop what?" Benji asks innocently, just as he rolls himself against Victor one more time.
Victor grunts again as Benji chuckles and peppers kisses on his neck before Benji gently shoves him away.
"Actually uh…I forgot but… lemme get down before I break this counter again…"
"Again?" Victor almost chuckles as he takes a step back and takes Benji's hand.
Benji slithers off the counter onto the floor and smirks as he turns around and pulls his shirt off, too. "It's a long story, but uh… for another time." He winks before he grabs Victor by the face and slips his tongue down Victor's throat again.
Shrugging, Victor presses himself up against Benji, their sweat-slicked torsos slipping against each other, almost creating sparks. Benji grinds up against Victor as they kiss, sighing as he cups the front of Victor's trousers and rubs his hard cock through the smooth fabric.
Victor, in turn, shoves his hand down the front of Benji's skirt and takes his erection in his hand as he pinches one of his nipples and lets out a breathy laugh as Benji moans into his mouth.
When they finally part, panting in each other's space and staring into each other, Victor bends Benji over so he's bracing himself on the edge of the kitchen sink and he kisses a line down his back, stopping halfway before he tugs the skirt down so it pools at Benji's feet. Benji peers at him over his shoulder with a sly look twinkling in his eyes as he stands there bare before him.
"Jesus Christ…" Victor mutters, more to himself than to Benji as he takes a step back to admire him before planting a loud smack on Benji's ass and leaving behind a deep red handprint.
Benji wiggles his hips, teasing, as Victor watches him and rolls his eyes as he shakes his head in the same way he does whenever Benji says something extremely corny. He pouts.
"It's taking you an awfully long time to stick your dick in me," Benji taunts.
"Well, I wanna take our time since we have all night… I'm not gonna let you cum yet…"
"Okay… so am I supposed to just stand here looking pretty?"
"Patience…" Victor grins wide as he shuffles backward across the tiled floor. "But first I need lube. Stay there."
"Look in my bag," Benji says as he juts his chin toward the living room. "I'll be good and wait here patiently, just like you asked… daddy."
"Fuck you."
"That's what I'm hoping you'll do, sometime today…"
Giggling to himself, Victor unzips Benji's bag and rummages around inside it before his fingers come in contact with the smooth plastic. He pulls it out. When he returns to the kitchen, Benji is just where he left him and he can't help but smile as he steps behind him.
Victor hums and uncaps the bottle and squirts a generous amount of lube on his fingers as Benji watches quietly over his shoulder.
"How are you doing?" Victor asks, craning his face down to kiss Benji gently on the temple as he sets his hand down on top of Benji's lower back.
Benji scoffs as he lowers himself onto his elbows. "I was having fun until someone decided to make me wait."
"You complaining isn't gonna make me go any faster." Victor presses one finger to Benji's hole, teasing the ring of muscle as he circles it, and he clamps his lips together as he smiles when Benji bites back a moan and shoves his ass backward as if pulled by an invisible string. He smacks Benji's other cheek, leaving a fresh print to match the other. "Stop moving so much."
"O-okay…" Benji sighs, closing his eyes and relaxing as Victor finally pushes his finger inside. "Yesss…"
"That's a good boy…" Victor purrs into Benji's ear as he slowly slides his finger in and out of Benji with little resistance, curling it occasionally against that spot inside him that makes him shudder in Victor's arms.
Victor leans down to kiss Benji gently as he works him open at a tantalizing pace, but he's impressed with the way Benji stays still as he asked. He slides another finger inside Benji as he whispers encouraging words in his ear, scissoring his digits and stretching him further.
But he doesn't know how much time has passed when he has three fingers inside Benji's hole as Benji's legs buckle beneath him and his arms shake dangerously.
"Please…" Benji says, nails scratching against the countertop as he groans, his voice wavering from exertion like a lone ship rocking in the middle of the sea, "I-I'm gonna cum if you keep d-doing that…"
"Since you asked so nicely… I think we should move this someplace else." Victor removes his fingers from Benji's hole and glances around the room for a moment before he peeks out of the kitchen into the hallway with a devilish grin. "I wanna fuck you right in front of the door."
Benji's eyes snap open as his pale face goes a deep pink and he swallows. He feigns innocence, his facade broken by the dramatic upward curl of his lips when he asks: "W-what if my parents come home early?"
"Don't they normally come back at like… seven AM? We've got plenty of time." Victor shuffles backward and holds out his hand to Benji.
"Ugh fine, I guess I have no choice," Benji says theatrically, as he stands up straight and takes Victor's hand before they both walk out into the empty corridor.
Victor smirks as Benji looks at him expectantly. "Well, what are you waiting for?"
"Um, for you to fuck me?"
"Not what I mean… Do you wanna get on the floor yourself or should I put you there?"
Glancing off to the side, Benji twirls a bit of hair on the tip of his finger before he takes a step forward, getting right up in Victor's face so they share oxygen as he fixes his pupils on Victor. He flutters his eyelashes. "Put me there… Please, daddy."
"So polite…" Victor says wickedly, as he wraps his hand around Benji's throat. "Open your mouth, baby."
Benji does as he's told, making eye contact with Victor just as Victor tips Benji's head back, heart hammering in his chest as he does so.
He doesn't break their gaze as he spits into Benji's mouth, letting a string of saliva drip from his tongue into Benji's throat as he shivers before him. Dick twitching, Benji sighs in pleasure as his eyes glaze over.
"Shit… I never thought you would do that to me," Benji says, grinning as Victor's hand trails up to one of his favorite parts of Benji's body and he takes an iron grip to his hair again.
Victor turns Benji around and shoves him to the floor so he's kneeling. "You underestimate me."
"Well, maybe so, but that barely hurt," Benji retorts, right before Victor pushes him face-first into the carpet so his cheek collides with the rough fibers with a soft thump. "Weak sauce."
Sighing, Victor kneels behind Benji and undoes his belt before tossing it aside. "I could spank you, but you'd enjoy that too much."
"Dammit…"
Victor wiggles his eyebrows as he slides his pants off. He exhales and pulls off his underwear, too, free from the restriction of his clothes as his throbbing erection smacks him in the stomach. Benji watches him from the floor but doesn't move, hands splayed beside his shoulders like angel's wings.
"You're gonna regret saying I'm weak sauce," Victor says, as he drizzles some lube on his dick, taking his time, mouth twisting to the side as he makes eye contact with Benji.
"Well, you know my motto is 'no regrets'," Benji says, rolling his eyes.
Stroking himself a few times before he massages one of Benji's cheeks, Victor chuckles. "We'll see."
Benji balls his fists as Victor presses the head of his cock against his hole before he slowly pushes inside. Victor is in no rush to open him up further, making shallow strokes and observing the way Benji's toes curl as he takes Victor inside him with soft gasps and moans.
Gripping Benji's hips as he finally thrusts all the way in and sheathes his cock inside Benji's tight heat, Victor grunts as he stays like this for a moment, holding himself completely still as Benji lies there with his eyes closed and his lips parted in ecstasy. But the sensation in the pit of his stomach is enough to make him move again.
He pulls out, overcome with something primal within him that makes him dig his palm into Benji's back as he slams into him hard, making Benji moan so loudly he clamps his hand over his mouth as a tear drips out of his eye.
"You shouldn't be so loud…" Victor says as he pulls out and thrusts back inside Benji again, quickening his pace. "What if the neighbors hear?"
Benji doesn't say anything as he bites his fingers, letting Victor fuck him there on the floor, but Victor pulls his hand away and replaces it with his lips as he turns Benji on his side and somehow slides deeper into him.
When Victor pulls away, wrapping his hand around Benji's throat, he grins as Benji tenses around him.
"F-fuck… I'm g-gonna cum—"
And as soon as Benji says this, Victor stops, waiting for the wave to pass and delighting in the way Benji glares at him in frustration.
Victor waits a moment before he kisses Benji again as a wave of pleasure washes over him and Benji growls into his mouth. He grabs the back of Benji's thigh, digging his nails into his skin just as Benji wrenches at his hair, and he slides out of him before he thrusts into him quickly, edging him again. And when he stops Benji just before he cums, realization dawns on his face.
Tears stream down Benji's cheeks; his voice is strained. "I'm sorry I said you were weak sauce."
"That's what I like to hear…" Victor says, before he pulls out of Benji and stands up, stretching out his legs.
"What are you doing?" Benji asks, bewildered, as he scrambles up into a sitting position.
"My knees are hurting from the floor."
"Ahh…" Benji sighs, before he stands up slowly, too. "How about we go to… my room?"
"Are you inviting me into your bed?" Victor asks, taking Benji by the hand.
Benji leads them down the hallway to the closed door on the right as he chews on the inside of his cheek before he smiles. "I guess I am."
"This is actually kinda exciting…"
"Wait, hold on," Benji says, holding his hand up as Victor walks into it. "I need to give you a little disclaimer before we go in there."
Victor raises an eyebrow and nods. "Okay… What, do you have dead bodies in there or something?"
"No… although maybe there'll be one if you don't cooperate," Benji teases.
Chuckling, Victor rolls his eyes. "Then what is it?"
"I have some posters on the wall… of some celebrities I was into growing up. The mouths are kinda fucked, but… don't ask me why, please."
"Right… Now that you mention it, I don't know who your celeb crushes are." Victor taps his lip with a sly grin.
Benji takes a deep breath and grumbles out "Leonardo and Noah Centineo…"
"Who?" Victor says, cupping his hand around his ear.
"Leonardo and Noah Centineo!" Benji almost shouts, his voice cracking as his face flushes a deep red.
"Okay, Leo is kinda daddy, but Noah's not really my type."
Giggling, Benji shakes his head and opens the door to his room before he shoves Victor inside and shuts the door behind them. "Et voila."
"Wow…" Victor says, peering around the room, his eyes drifting from the wardrobe sandwiched between the wall and the end of the bed, to the little closet built into the wall right beside the door. "This is… nice."
"You hate it."
"No, no." Victor waves his hands in front of himself quickly. "Seriously… It's… quaint…" he pauses, his grin widening as he spots the posters right beside Benji's bed. "Aww, that's so cute!"
Benji groans and covers his face in his hands before he plops backward onto the bed. "You're so embarrassing."
"Sorry…" Victor says as he climbs onto the tiny twin bed and crawls on top of Benji, slotting himself between his legs. "You're way hotter than both of them combined."
"You're a fucking liar…"
"I'm not lying… I mean look at you." Victor drizzles a bit more lube on his cock before he lifts Benji's legs and shoves his knees into his chest before he peers down at Benji and slides into him again. "You're fucking gorgeous, babe."
"Thank you. So are you," Benji says with a grin, before he bites his lip and moans as his head drops down into the pillow. "Fuck…"
"I will actually let you cum this time, though."
"Finally, oh my god…"
Victor breathe-laughs as he pulls out and thrusts back into Benji slowly, reveling in the way Benji tries to thrust against him, sweat-slicked legs slipping against Victor's hands, but Victor sighs as he presses Benji's legs down further into his chest and slides slowly in and out again.
Benji's eyebrows knit together and his eyes widen as he stares up at Victor, lips parting with want as Victor holds him down. But Victor chuckles as he watches Benji, seeing his mind at work even as his Adam's apple bobs and he bites his lip to hold back a whine of desperation, the way he always does when he's frustrated.
"Can I touch myself, please?" Benji asks, giving Victor his best puppy dog eyes as he clenches around him when Victor thrusts his cock into him again.
"Hmm… I don't know, lemme think about it…"
Nuzzling his nose against Benji's cheek, Victor giggles as Benjis digs his nails into his back and curls his digits through his hair as Victor slows his thrusts to a torturous pace. The sensation of Benji gripping at him so desperately as he holds himself back from touching himself, even though Victor knows he wants it more than anything, even more than he wants for Victor to stop teasing him, fills Victor with an almost sick sense of pleasure.
Victor sighs as he pulls away slightly and Benji peers up at him as if through a haze, eyelids in slivers as he takes his cock, beautifully undone in his arms.
"Can I please?" Benji asks again, quieter this time but making no move to do anything.
Taking a short moment, Victor pretends to think about it, before he shakes his head. "No. You don't deserve it."
"Oh, okay—ah," Benji moans, lip curling up, and he can't stop himself from laughing before he brings their mouths together into a heated kiss as Victor pulls Benji's legs around his waist.
As they kiss, Victor takes Benji's hands and presses them into the pillow beside his head hard enough to leave permanent indents. He laces their fingers together as he thrusts into Benji's shuddering body, overwhelmed with the heat radiating from him, the scent of his sweat and tears, and the sounds of his moans vibrating in the back of his throat.
Victor focuses so intensely on the sensation of Benji's insides and the way Benji draws him into him, clinging to him, until he's cumming deep inside him, and Benji bites at his lip until he tastes iron on his tongue, but Victor doesn't even care, because Benji is in his arms, tensing around him.
"Cum for me, baby…" Victor breathes as his eyes roll back in his head, until Benji does, tensing around him as he releases all over his stomach between them with a sharp moan.
He stays inside Benji, limbs leaden as he lies on top of him, but all Benji does is unwrap their damp fingers and instead engulfs Victor in the safety of his embrace, holding him as if he has no intention of ever letting go.
"Thank you. I love you, Benji."
The last thing he remembers before he drifts off is the lazy smile that spreads across his lips as he nuzzles against Benji's soft hair and the gentle kiss pressed to his cheek as Benji whispers: "No, thank you. I love you, too. G'night."
And for the first time in a while, they sleep entwined with each other within the warm, silken cocoon of blankets—without interruption—into the late morning.