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A HOPE VALLEY CHRISTMAS
Chapter V
"Words & Deeds"
"My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue,
but in deed and in truth"
I John 3:18*
. . .
Although she had also squeezed in a super quick visit to Abigail's Café, the day was still young as Elizabeth walked home from The Mercantile.
By now, she was mentally exhausted but relieved and encouraged that her apologies, although difficult, had at least ultimately been accepted.
Elizabeth was beginning to believe she could face her future, although she was very unsure what that future would look like.
Yet she knew the apologies today, as challenging as they were, were nothing compared to those for the two people she had hurt the most, the two she loved the most.
Fighting overwhelming sadness, as more and more unpleasant realizations, were coming to her, Elizabeth started a list in her head of more deeds of love she could implement for the Grants.
She was shocked that so many fresh ideas for both Nathan and Allie flowed so easily.
Bill was right, though; all of her conversations with both Grants had been so cutting and hurtful, her actions so erratic, the two no longer trusted her.
How could they?
Adding mere words on top of that lack of trust would mean nothing.
Telling Nathan and Allie, she loved them would only cause more hurt and confusion.
She needed to respect that she had caused their pain, and no matter how much she needed and wanted to sit down with them to resolve it, they needed to heal. And right now, that was more important. She had to stop thinking about herself, her wants, and her desires while giving Nathan and Allie the gift of time and space.
Instead of words, these acts of kindness toward Nathan and Allie would be her lifeline, her purpose, with the two as her singular focus, along with her Son.
Feeling so despondent, she had been dreading the Holidays. Little did she know, making restitution to Nathan and Allie in this unique way would consume her and somehow also get her through.
Yet while waiting on the Grants to bring Little Jack home, Elizabeth could think of nothing else but Nathan...
With the help of a few secret little elves to assist her, she had already put three deeds into action when she had been in town. Two for Nathan, one for Allie, and another one for Nathan on which she was working out the particulars.
'Overall, four deeds for the day! Not at all a bad start!'
She'd drop off Allie's later this evening, as she didn't want it to be there when they returned from getting the trees. That would be way too easy!
Thankfully, as was a normal practice, she had already prepped some of her evening meal last night, and then a bit more this morning, while her scones had been baking.
She wanted so badly to invite Nathan and Allie to eat with Jack and her as a way of thanks for taking her Son with them to get a tree. But she knew that would only put Nathan in an even more awkward situation.
And he already felt uncomfortable enough, given Lucas's pathetic attempt this morning at trying to laud ownership of her over him.
So, given the circumstances, that would never do!
Instead, she spent her time now furiously putting together what could be either two late lunches or two early dinners: one for Jack and her, the second for Nathan and Allie to take home.
The meal wasn't at all fancy, but she made a delectable Fried Chicken and could depend on that coming out well every time.
The Deviled Eggs, she prepared earlier this morning, were already chilling in the icebox, as she preferred those to be served cold.
She quickly divided the Baked Bean Casserole she had prepped last night and placed the two smaller casseroles in the oven.
Then she put potatoes on to boil and excitedly began making her Fried Chicken, working at a rapid pace through the various steps. When she finally finished frying, she placed her main course to rest in a pan, covered with a tea towel on top of her warm stove.
Elizabeth caught herself humming as she cut up the cooled boiled potatoes to make her own version of Potato Salad.
The two loaves of bread that she had also prepared earlier this morning, as she did every morning, were buttered and ready to pop into the oven.
For dessert, she had picked up some chocolate cupcakes from the Cafe and had Minnie divide them into two boxes, along with another box containing her special treat for Allie.
She would pop the bread in the oven when Nathan brought in their tree. Knowing him, he would insist on setting the tree up and doing whatever else was necessary, which would give her just enough time to get the loaves baked.
She felt confident the children would enjoy her choice of 'winter picnic' food.
Hopefully, Nathan would, too, especially after what she was sure was a tiring day keeping up with Jack.
Finally, she heard the wagon!
She nervously smoothed her hair, then her apron, and walked out to greet them, weak in the knees but with a smile on her face, as Nathan pulled up right in front of her rowhouse...
"Mama, Mama! Me got Cwis mas Twee!"
Allie waved with a smile, happy she had found not one but two perfect trees.
Nathan grinned at Jack's enthusiasm and nodded.
But when Nathan lifted Jack out of the wagon, he grabbed Nathan's hand.
"What? No kiss, Son?" asked his Mother.
"Me help Na'tan get Cwis mas Twee, Mama!"
Elizabeth chuckled, relishing her happy Son.
"One perfectly-chosen Allie and Jack Christmas Tree coming up!" announced Nathan.
The children 'helped' unload the tree. Nathan never once complained, although Jack was really in the way and had to be watched every second to be kept safe. Instead, Nathan simply made Jack feel needed.
"Thanks, Allie, thanks, Jack. Don't think I could have unloaded this one alone!"
Allie grinned, and Jack beamed from ear to ear, so very proud of the job he was doing.
"I could help," offered Elizabeth, a bit timidly.
"No, Mama!" insisted Jack, sounding harsher than he understood.
"Sorry, we only allow tomboys and boys to help on this job," grinned Nathan, smoothing over Jack's vehemence.
With his handy 'assistants,' Nathan managed to get the tall tree into Elizabeth's living room.
"Where would you like it, Elizabeth?"
"In front of the two windows, please."
Elizabeth slipped back into the kitchen to put the bread in the oven, causing the little house to be filled with yeasty goodness in no time!
"I think we've gotten it straight, does this suit?"
"It's perfect, Nathan! Thank you for giving Jack such a great day, along with this perfect Christmas Tree. Thank you, too, Allie. This looks like a perfect Allie Grant-certified tree to me!"
Allie blushed at the compliment.
"Lights, Mama!"
"They're in that box by the fireplace, Jack. We'll get to them later."
"We could put them on, Mrs. Thornton," offered Allie innocently.
Resigned, Nathan sighed and lifted the box over to the tree.
"If we won't be in your way, we'll be happy to put them on."
"No, not in our way at all. That would be nice, actually, if you really don't mind."
Elizabeth busied herself in the kitchen, although all she wanted to do was watch the three untangling the lights together, as they gigged and laughed at Nathan's jokes.
How wonderful it was to have so much laughter in the house!
She couldn't help but notice just like with unloading the tree, Nathan was letting Jack 'help' when in reality, all he was doing was making the tangles worse!
'The man has the patience of Job!' she thought.
By the time Nathan and the children finished the lights, Elizabeth had packed the Grants' picnic basket.
"This is our thank-you for taking Jack and getting our beautiful tree. It can be either a late lunch or early supper. I hope you both enjoy it!"
"Elizabeth, you didn't have to do this."
"I wanted to, Nathan. Today has meant the world to Jack, and to me. We weren't quite sure what we were going to do for a tree. Thank you both from the bottom of our hearts."
"Our pleasure, Elizabeth. Merry Christmas!"
But as Nathan and Allie started to leave with their basket, Jack ran after them.
"Eat wif us?" he begged.
"I have to go to work, Buddy!" but to soften the blow, Nathan knelt down on Jack's level.
Jack instantly wrapped his little arms around Nathan's neck, and Nathan drew him close.
"Me wuv 'ou, Na'tan. Me wuv my Cwis mas Twee!"
"I love you, too, Jack!"
"Thank Nathan and Allie, Jack," prompted his mother.
"Tank you, Na'tan! Tank you, Awee!"
"It was fun, Jack," and Allie hugged Jack too.
"Wuv 'ou, Awee!"
"Thank you both, again, ever so much!" and Elizabeth meant it.
As Nathan and Allie walked through the door, Jack ran behind their new Christmas Tree to wave enthusiastically to his best friends, as they left.
The tender scene smote Elizabeth's heart when she realized the two kept turning back to continue to smile and wave at Jack, as they knew he would be watching.
After all the horrible things she had done to them, they still adored her son without question.
Suddenly as Nathan and Allie grew out of sight, the Thornton home felt empty and devoid of laughter.
Or was it love...
When Nathan reached his Office, he first went to the back to make his Coffee, but to his surprise, it was already made, steaming away.
He poured a cup and sat down to enjoy it, still a bit puzzled.
Besides him, only Bill had a key; he must have just been there and made it.
As he took a sip, he was grateful that Bill had dialed it back; this brew tasted really good compared to the coffee 'paste' Bill usually made.
Attacking the stack of papers he had to complete, Nathan relaxed and enjoyed his coffee.
"Why is it that the coffee always tastes better when you don't have to make it yourself?" he mumbled aloud.
"What always tastes better?" roared Bill as he came blaring through the door and helped himself to a seat.
"When you make my Coffee for me, Bill."
Nathan poured Bill a cup and watched as the man almost spat it out.
"This isn't my Coffee!"
Nathan frowned.
He was aware it wasn't as strong as what the Judge normally made, but Bill also knew that Nathan preferred his Coffee less intense.
"Bill, you're the only one with a key!"
"Hmph!"
The good Judge had no intention of telling his Constable, that he kept a spare in his center desk drawer, not now anyway!
Not that it would matter!
"Just finished a long trial. Sorry, but haven't had time to even think to make my own Coffee, much less yours, Constable."
That made no sense, but Nathan wasn't going to belabor the issue.
The two men sat in silence, drinking their Coffee, till Bill bit the bullet and broke the silence.
"How are you doin,' Nathan?"
"I'm fine, Bill."
"No, you aren't! That was some shocker, yesterday. Our girl is back!"
Nathan gave Bill a look with his raised eyebrow and sighed.
"Bill, we're not going to talk about Elizabeth. You got it?"
Ignoring the younger man, Bill continued.
"She came by my office, earlier to apologize. She's truly tryin' to fix her messes."
"Bill, stop! If you must know, Lucas came by early this morning to inform me that he and Elizabeth are still very much engaged."
Bill slung his chair back on two legs and chuckled with all his might.
"Funny, that's not what the Lady said!"
Nathan looked up but said nothing.
"It's over, Son! The era of the Bouchard Debaucle is over!"
Nathan didn't know what to feel.
"She said you took Jack to get a Christmas Tree. Any luck?"
"As usual, if you must know, Bill, Allie found her perfect tree, as well as one for Jack."
"Good! Well, just thought you should know. She's deeply ashamed and tryin' to make amends, Nathan! Cut her some slack."
"Cut her some slack? Really, Bill?"
"She made a ton of mistakes, and they were whoppers, but maybe we need to look at why she made those mistakes, Son."
"Why?" asked Nathan incredulously.
"The reason is sittin' right there, Nathan, in your chair! Do I have to teach you everything about women?"
With that, Bill got up and, without another word, mosied across the street.
Nathan just shook his head, and headed to the Mercantile to pick up the day's mail…
"Elizabeth was in earlier, Nathan!"
Nathan raised his eyebrow yet again, this time at Florence, but didn't say a word.
"I have it on good authority, the official break-up is now history," she whispered. "Thank goodness! Those two were never right for each other. Why the whole town could see it from the very beginning! You do know, that little jaunt had nothing to do with the two of them and everything to do with you, Constable! Right?"
"I'm afraid I have nothing to do with Lucas, Elizabeth, or their decisions, Florence. Good day!"
Having had more than enough gossip for the day, Nathan turned to leave.
Florence smiled and called after him.
"Oh, Constable Grant, you forgot your mail…"
On the way to his office, Nathan noticed one of Lee's trucks coming from the Rowhouses, which was highly unusual.
"Maybe Lee needed to run home for something, but odd he didn't take his car!" muttered Nathan aloud.
Right in the middle of that thought, Hickam walked up to Nathan.
"Constable, what do you think of the new Christmas decorations?"
Happy to discuss anything that wasn't Elizabeth, Nathan jumped in.
"Really beautiful, Mike. Rosemary couldn't have done it without you, though!" he complimented. "You did a great job!"
"Why, thanks! You're the first one to notice. She's as bossy as they come, but that woman sure knows how to get things done! Did you hear about the big break-up?"
"Not you too, Mike!" moaned Nathan as he just shook his head and headed straight back toward his office...
Inside, he hung up his Stetson, then his navy overcoat.
"How in the world am I supposed to clear my head when Elizabeth is everywhere?" he muttered aloud.
But as he turned around, there was something on his desk, that at least took his attention away from the news of the day.
When Nathan opened the basket, there was his favorite roast beef sandwich with red onion, lettuce, tomato, and horseradish, just like he always ordered at the Café. Digging further, there was a container filled with potato crisps and another smaller one with ketchup.
At the very bottom was a generous piece of Cherry Pie, another favorite.
By now irritated, he packed it all up and marched straight across the street to Bill's office…
"Bill, this has to stop!"
"What has to stop?" Bill appeared to be clueless.
"First Coffee, now my favorite lunch?"
"Don't look at me, but I sure could take half of that sandwich. Haven't gotten to eat since breakfast!"
Nathan sat down and tossed the Judge half.
"Bill, contrary to popular belief, I'm not some fragile lovesick puppy dog! I can take care of myself, and furthermore, whatever is going on between Lucas and Elizabeth has nothing to do with me! Do you understand?"
Bill just sat and perused the man who was like a Son to him.
"I think it's time for a talk, Son!"
"Please, no!"
"All you have to do is listen. Oh, and answer this question. What happened to you and Elizabeth the day you looked at my land?"
"Why do you ask that?"
"Because it's been my experience when a woman does somethin' extremely crazy as Elizabeth has done, she's either runnin' from or runnin' to love. Now you and I both know Lucas has never been her love, which means she was runnin' away from love!"
"Really, Bill?"
"Really, Son. If you're not goin' to answer, I would surmise you did somethin' crazy like told her you loved her, and she ran like blazes!"
Nathan's increasingly red face gave him away.
"Aha. I knew it! Why did you go do that for?"
Nathan sighed heavily.
"I just saw all four of us on the land that day. Your land! I saw a home and a loving family. I saw…"
"Yes?"
"I saw the love of my life there at the center of it all. I had to tell her, Bill. I didn't know why, but I could feel her distancing herself from me."
"Well, what did she say?"
"Must we, Bill?"
"We must, Son! What did she say?"
"She said, 'I can't!' Not the words a man wants to hear after he's poured out his soul to the woman he loves!"
"Yippee Yay! You finally said it out loud. She is the woman you love, Son, and God help her, you are the man she loves!"
Nathan gave an exasperated sigh.
"Thanks for that vote of confidence, Bill!"
"Nathan, I now know what she's been so afraid of all this time."
"How do you know that?"
"You just told me! She didn't say she didn't love you. She said she couldn't be with you. She lost her husband, Son, who happened to be a Mountie just like you. She just couldn't risk losing another husband, nor another Mountie. That's what she's afraid of."
"But I told her I'd quit the Mounties. And I meant it, Bill."
"Elizabeth would never let you do that! Not in a million years!"
"That's exactly what she said, well, the first part!"
"Nathan, don't you get it? It was YOU she couldn't lose. She loved Jack with all her heart, make no mistake about that, but she's been through fire losin' him, and it's honed her. Love is more precious to her now. I never saw her look at Jack the way she looks at you, and he was her everything!"
"But what could I have done if she wouldn't let me quit my job?"
"Do you want to quit?"
"No, but if it would have eased her mind, I would have done it in a heartbeat."
"Would have?"
"Bill, please don't bring all this back up. It hurts way too much!"
"Do you still love her?" asked Bill, either bravely, cheekily, or both.
"You know I do. I'll love her till the day I die. But that doesn't change anything. I can't trust her, and I can't go through what she put Allie and me through again. I wouldn't survive it, Bill. Nor would my daughter!"
Nathan grabbed what was left of his lunch and strode to the door before the good Judge could stop him, summarily ending their conversation…
The Constable was so frustrated with his day, after finishing his paperwork, he locked up his office early and headed home.
He had a cord of wood that needed to be chopped.
Perhaps that would help him clear his head.
All this time later, it still hurt to think of Elizabeth.
He had to protect himself.
He had to protect Allie.
But those decisive thoughts flew right out of his mind moments later when Nathan opened the gate to his backyard.
He was nonplussed!
He quickly removed the canvas cover in front of him.
Under the huge canvas was his entire cord of wood, perfectly chopped and stacked neatly in a perfect pile 8 feet long, 4 feet high, and 4 feet wide. Why it was enough to do through New Year's, and probably beyond!
But who had done it?
And more importantly, why had they done it without asking him?
Still puzzled, he went into his house through the back door...
"Allie," he called, walking in from the kitchen to the living room.
"Hi, Dad. I just changed up in my room," she answered, coming down the stairs. "Ready to eat our dinner?"
"Can we wait till a bit later? I just had a sandwich, well, half of one. As usual, your Uncle Bill got the other half. What about you?"
Mrs. Weiss fixed us peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as a snack, so I'm good," Allie looked sheepish.
"And?"
"There was a box of Chocolate Chunk Cookies on our front porch, so I ate one of those. Don't get mad, I'll still eat dinner!"
"Allie, I'm not mad. Did you happen to hear someone cutting wood in our backyard?"
"Dad, remember? You told me I could spend the afternoon with Opal. I just got home a few minutes ago. What's wrong?"
"I came home early to chop wood, but it's already been chopped. Just wondering who did it."
"I guess it's a Christmas miracle! The cookies too. They're my favorites!"
Oh, to have the innocence of a child again!
"Come here, Kiddo!"
Nathan gave Allie a quick hug.
"What do you think about your tree? Looks pretty nice!"
"It's the prettiest one we've ever had and taller than you too!"
Nathan grinned.
"I think that was your main criteria!"
"What can I say? I like my trees tall like my Dad! Can we decorate it tonight since we don't have to cook dinner?"
"Oh, that's right, thanks to Mrs. Thornton, we don't have to cook! At least, we know where dinner came from. To answer your question: yes, Allie, we'll decorate your beautiful tree tonight. If you'll get the lights, I'll change clothes, and we can get started…"
At dinner, Jack talked like a chatterbox, a lot of which was excited jibberish, but Elizabeth got his message loud and clear because every other word was 'Na'tan' and 'Awee.'
'My boy had a grand time today with Nathan and Allie, didn't he?"
Jack shook his little head yes as fast as he could shake it.
"Na'tan carry me 'cause me got sweepy."
"Did you take a nap?"
"No, Mama! Me no sleep. Me not little!"
"I see! You certainly are a growing boy. Look at what's left of that Fried Chicken Leg. You polished it off, Son. Do you want another one?"
"Pwease, Mama. Can we go see Na'tan and Awee?"
Elizabeth got up to get her son the second Fried Chicken Leg she had kept warm on the stove, but as she turned around, away from her Son, she wiped a tear.
"Not tonight, Sweetheart. You've had a very long, wonderful day, then after you finish your Fried Chicken Leg, we have Chocolate Cupcakes! And later, we get to decorate our beautiful tree!"
Jack was still not at all convinced.
"Doesn't that sound like fun?"
She smiled broadly for her son, but inside, her heart was breaking…
"Dad, it was nice of Mrs. Thornton to fix our dinner. She didn't know we had Chicken & Dumplings last night. But her Fried Chicken is really good!"
"Chicken two nights in a row isn't a bad thing when it's this good, Allie."
"No, Sir, it sure isn't! I like her Potato Salad, too, and her Deviled Eggs! I can't believe we get Chocolate Cupcakes for dessert!"
"And apparently, Chocolate Chunk Cookies," teased her Dad.
"Dad, the cupcakes remind me of the ones Mrs. Thornton made for my first sleepover."
"Yes, Allie, they do."
"I know you said what happened yesterday doesn't change anything for us. But what if we're wrong, Dad?"
"What do you mean, Allie?"
"I just think she still loves you. And I think she loves me, too. You could see it in her eyes today when she wanted to go with us so bad to get our trees."
Nathan was silent. How do you respond to a twelve-year-old girl who doesn't miss anything? Especially one as precocious as Allie?
"If that were true, how does that make you feel?" asked her Dad.
"The truth?"
"Always, Allie."
"It makes me a little afraid, because what if she treats us bad again? What if she leaves us again?"
Nathan was silent because he knew neither would survive that kind of hurt compounded. They were barely surviving now.
"But, Dad, haven't you always told me to face my fears?"
"Yes, I have, Allie."
"And you've also taught me to forgive. This is complicated, isn't it, Dad?"
"Yes, Sweetheart, it is."
"But I miss her Dad, the old Mrs. Thornton, that is. Don't you?"
What Allie didn't miss, were her Dad's glistening eyes.
"Yes, Allie, I do. Very much…"
. . .
*9. I John 3:18, The Holy Bible, King James Version, Public Domain