The World That Never Will Be Chapter 7
by the infamous and notorious tocasia
10/11/2018
CHAPTER 7
She was better now.
Aqua drifted in the soothing embrace of Sephiroth's magic, the icy net he'd placed between her and raw despair to stop the bleeding.
...but only on the surface; a bandage for a wound that still needed time to heal.
Until then, a brutal reminder of the sickening contrast, of how horrifyingly lost she'd been.
She could not imagine ever healing. More than ten years! What if her friends were dead? What if they'd forgotten about her? She'd failed. She was too late. Maybe she deserved to be forgotten.
Sephiroth had given her murky clarity, enough to see how close the darkness had come to destroying who she was, to wrenching away her dreams. How absolutely exhausted she'd been, how helpless.
She couldn't shake her disgust. She'd been so weak...
She'd fought so hard!
...and still the darkness was stronger...
Aqua couldn't stand the awkward silence anymore. "I'm sorry I attacked you. I..."
"It's alright," Sephiroth said.
No, it wasn't! "How is that alright? The darkness had hold of me and..."
"I've been in a similar situation."
His calmness was frustrating! She knew it wasn't the most delicate of questions, but... "Then how did you deal with it?"
He laughed? "Poorly."
How could he laugh it off like that? When the strain around his eyes made him look so tired... Her fault.
"Is the shielding difficult to do?"
"No. It's not a burden."
Sephiroth sounded sincere, but...
"Can you teach me how?" Aqua asked. She'd pull her own weight.
"No."
She didn't have the energy to push the inquiry further.
The hateful terrain stayed flat; spitefully gray. Earth and sky equally foreboding; desolate. There were no obstacles to occupy her thoughts. No relief for her circling guilt.
"What happens... to people like us, when the darkness gets to be too much?"
"I haven't seen it. My working theory is... their negative emotions merge with the essence of this realm. Their dreams and memories become the treacherous illusions here, ensnaring others, to reinforce the cycle. Eventually becoming darkness itself? no, more like fuel for it. I suspect the self is lost entirely at the end. Not taken, but... surrendered."
He said the last with uncomfortable relish.
"You seem to know a lot about it..."
Sephiroth shrugged. "There is always more to learn."
A sudden flash of panic! Did he want to watch it happen to her? Is that why he was following?
She'd stopped walking.
"Is something wrong, Master Aqua?"
Apparently, she was easy to read. "No, I don't want that to happen to you. I intend to do everything I can to prevent it."
"...why?"
"Because I like your company."
Aqua's heart soared with unreasonable elation at acceptance undeserved.
Unworthy? No, that's the darkness twisting things. He chose to help me. I'm allowed to be grateful!
...why did Sephiroth have to reassure her again and again? Why couldn't she have as much faith in herself as she'd had in Terra?
"What's that?" Aqua said.
The black blot on the horizon resolved into the shape of a hulking fortress; imposing, ostentatious, jagged with skyscrapers, spiked with radio towers.
The biggest city she'd ever seen!
And then a sillier thought: ...a layer cake, decorated with too many candles.
"A remnant of my world." Sephiroth's hesitant admission unnerved her. "It was called Midgar."
"Oh." Curious excitement faded to tragic sympathy. To see one's world, fallen into darkness... He must be so sad...
"...but it's not as it should be. This city was destroyed before the heartless came."
Each step brought them nearer, no matter what direction they'd meant to go. Soon the walls loomed tall above. On sheer concrete was stamped a multistory number '3' in stenciled black. Beneath, comically tiny by comparison, a service door, rusted off its hinges. An empty security checkpoint, glass windows smoky with dust.
Sephiroth strode forward, oddly fascinated. "This place should not exist. It should not. The Realm of Darkness should not be able to access my memories..."
He ducked under the doorframe, carefully folding his wing so as not to touch it.
"I am not afraid."
It wasn't completely dark, which was no surprise to Aqua. Almost every abandoned town still had lamps lit, an ironic reminder that there is light in every darkness. But here there were no plants, not even brambles. Nothing grew. The other lost towns sometimes had gardens, flowers in window boxes.
"This is a horrible place," she said.
"You're right." Sephiroth laughed at the weirdest things. "Maybe it always was."
...and tended towards dramatic speeches. Aqua didn't interrupt. She was getting used to it.
"While Midgar stood there were no stars."
"I wonder... if this memory will try to trap me. That's what this city was. A cage. I was bound by chains of duty, fear, and ignorance. Serving an ignoble master."
They paced through cavernous metal, wraithful houses for stalagmites. Sephiroth seemed certain of the way, so she followed... but seeds of doubt haunted his observations.
"The layout is wrong, the numbered sectors..."
"Everything is too clean. These were slums."
"You could always hear the trains..."
...Trains that now lay jumbled in repose, cushions cracked and stuffed foam rotting.
"A clever ploy," Sephiroth murmured. "But the darkness doesn't know I cannot be defeated."
Never defeated? How could that be? He probably just means he'll never stop fighting.
Aqua took bleak inspiration. "I can't give up either. My friends are waiting for me... their lights are guiding me, like I'd guide them. Even if... even if they're not here anymore..."
Sephiroth nodded, to himself, as if she hadn't spoken, "I will turn this to my advantage; I always do."
Well, if she was going to keep going, she should replenish her stores, scavenge for neglected treasures. Potions and ethers, anything to help her survive. Hopefully it wasn't graverobbing. Silly. She hadn't had the luxury of caring about that in a long time.
"Hey, Sephiroth?"
"Yes?"
"Can we take a break? I want to look around."
He'd brushed the space clear with a flap of his wing.
Sephiroth sat atop one of the trains, watching Master Aqua rummage through trash. She was graceful, even while looting civilization's glittering carcass. Surreal.
Spotless, white sleeves. No squabbling ravens or moans of the dying.
This battlefield smelled only of dirt, the tang of metal, and the sour echo of paint; the stench of humanity ages ago retreated into hazy memory.
As Aqua searched, her thoughts wandered. She pictured what the train conductor's uniform had looked like, the shape of his hat. Sometimes she caught bustling color in the corner of her eyes, the bright clothes people would have worn. A city of millions, eerily quiet.
"It's strange. There are no heartless here," she remarked.
"Good."
Master Aqua approached his makeshift seat, cheerful with success. "Look, I found enough for both of us!" She waved the shiny bottles around. "Four ethers, two hi-potions, and an elixir!"
He must've frowned, because she said, suddenly downcast, "Oh. Should I put these back?"
"No, it's alright."
"Here," she reached up, smiling.
He didn't need it. He should decline her offer.
...but if the opportunity to share filled her with such happiness...
Her face lit up at his "Thank you."
"I think I understand," Aqua whispered, "There's no deeper sadness than discovering all that you know is gone."
"There is pleasure in it also. Knowledge of the power to create something new," Sephiroth replied.
If Sephiroth wanted to talk about it... maybe if she didn't ask directly about him, but instead...
"So if this is a city from your world, is this where Zack's from, too?"
The barest trace of a wince. "We did spend a lot of time here. But that's... in the past."
"Did something happen?" Aqua risked.
"My enemy killed him."
Aqua stared down at their footprints. Zack, who wanted to be a hero. A child with light in his heart. Who would kill someone like that?
"I'm sorry... I didn't know..."
Why did she have to be so awkward?
Cheeks burning, ashamed she couldn't comfort better, Aqua picked a path in the gloom, clambered over a heap of scrap, and hauled herself up the disintegrating concrete wall. It was covered in garish, blood red letters.
She quickened her climb when she sensed Sephiroth behind her, and scolded herself for her panic.
Aqua huffed from exertion, false fatigue unrelenting. They'd made it up top; the open sky was no less oppressive. In front of them rose an office tower, sleek in modern glass.
"Shinra headquarters," Sephiroth said.
The name didn't mean anything to her. What was this building to Sephiroth? He walked like he owned it. Trying hard to hide his sadness...
Sad, and regal, and so handsome...
Out of a fairy tale. A noble prince, exiled, returning to his lost kingdom.
Sephiroth blinked. Had he heard that right?
How... romantic. He didn't believe Master Aqua to be naive, but perhaps she needed something to cling to. Heroes and fairy-tale princes, true love's first kiss. Heh. Was that what she hoped for?
'Prince' should be an insult to him. Although, he was the rightful heir...
More charming than sly, for it was a game, he teased, "And if I'm a prince, does that mean you fancy yourself a princess?"
Aqua stammered something that likely amounted to a 'no'.
It was good that she did not presume.
He nodded. "Any consort of mine would hold a higher title."
Anyone he so favored could demand whatever epithet they wished! If his subjects weren't respectful, he would enjoy correcting them. Sephiroth wondered if Master Aqua would like having her name feared. Probably not.
"As for fairy tales, well... Here is a story for you."
"In the tallest tower lived a goddess, slave to a wicked man. He split her into pieces and used her power to rule unjustly, waging war across the land, taking what was not his. As is often the case, the wicked man's arrogance was his own undoing; he could not control the goddess forever. She was liberated by her son and together they took back the throne. They were barely reunited when the heartless cast them out of paradise, destroying all they had planned to make."
"The heartless... stole my triumph from me..."
Shadows boiled around his clenched fist, rustling through wings unrealized.
"Too long, I have accepted it..."
Sephiroth reached for the power within, caught himself reaching deeper... for what should have been...
Darkness hid there, instead, begging for his willing touch, yearning to be his new temptation. A parasite mimicking its dead victim; a devouring doppelganger. A cunning trap for the lesser.
"No, mindless darkness, I will not be made a fool of. I will not lose control. One day, soon, you will understand that my only shame is that those without hearts cannot feel any pain."
He smirked at the sky. "Rejoice while you can that my mission, right now, is different."
He looked at Master Aqua. "This city is a decoy. A target for me to attack instead of the darkness itself. A waste of our time."
Ashes disturbed by his rage settled once more. "We must regroup. Tell me, where is the light? Are we close?"
Aqua silently promised herself that was the last mistake she'd make saying things aloud!
Sephiroth's story... what could have been cute and flirtatious... was mocking coming from him.
If he was a prince, he sounded like a spoiled one.
And there was another disappointment.
She hadn't answered him. Her expression was blank. Maybe she was inwardly rolling her eyes at his monologue, or... Sephiroth wondered how many wings he currently appeared to have and if Master Aqua was terrified.
"What is it?" he asked, pleased that he remembered gentleness.
"There isn't any light."
Sephiroth tensed. If she attacked him again, he would end this. She'd had her chance. He had Masamune in his hand already...
When Aqua attempted no desperation, he relaxed. Keyblade slouched at her side, she just seemed... tired, like he felt. He worried for her, and checked the shield. It was intact.
Her voice rang hollow, strangely devoid of apology. "It isn't here. I don't know why. We were going the right way before we found the city. But now, everything's confused..."
...Because the light you follow isn't real. I wanted to forget that. I wanted to forget all of this.
But he didn't say it. She was not his deceiver. His fears had led them here.
Sephiroth chuckled into his arm, an ancient habit fresh recalled. "It's not your fault there's no light in Midgar, Master Aqua."
"Then, it must be farther on..."
He shook his head to finish the gesture. "Let's go as quickly as possible."
It would be fastest for him to fly them out. If the darkness would allow their escape...
You'd like that, wouldn't you, Master Aqua? For me to hold you close. For me to be the way we'd leave it all behind. For me to show you the world...
A manipulation he ought not to oppose. He wouldn't drop her, and she'd adore him.
...but this is not the world I want you to see.
And if I carry you, I won't have a free hand to defend myself with.
He couldn't trust her. Not if the darkness revealed any more of his memories. Sephiroth scowled. It would try to take this new friendship from him, too...
Heh, or rather, he didn't trust himself. What would he do, if he saw Midgar from the air?
"There should be motorcycles on display in the lobby."
"Okay. I can drive my own if they handle similarly to my glider. I've missed it..."
They got on the bikes and rode. Highways eventually turned to dust.